Hearted Youtube comments on Jonathan Noble Esquire (@jcnlaw) channel.
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I, too, am an "older gentleman," and I approve this message. If you are strong but gentle, firm yet kind, and are determined to work hard at being the best man you can be, good women will gravitate toward you, not your wallet. Even not-so-good women will gravitate toward you, but fend those off. A man on a mission doesn't have time or energy to waste on women who are not worth the effort. Even at my age, I still have younger, good-looking women trying to catch my eye without my even trying. Just be a good man.
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Listening to this, I literally heard everything about my ex. Made up problems all the time, although at first it was so amazing and it felt like I met a "completely different than others" girl. Over time, I began to be afraid that some attractive girls would pass us by and in her head an idea would appear that one day I would definitely leave her. She was a few years older than me and every time I shaved and she saw my face I already knew I was completely screwed. I was raised only by my mother and had no male role model. If you hear all your childhood that women are good and TV tells you that this should be your main goal, you can screw up your life. There were fights but there were also damn good moments. Love bombing in full power from time to time. I was half a second away from proposing. Fortunately, the remnants of my crushed dignity never allowed me to take out the ring. After five years, she found herself another guy in a dozen or so days and get pregnant even faster. Today, it no longer surprises me that the scripts for great romances and the best poems are written by men. Men love unconditionally and women love for what we can give them. Single mothers are a disease of the 21st century. I can clearly see that all the current problems are the result of raising weak, ignorant men without fathers. A strong, responsible, disciplined, emotional male model is the most important factor in raising an emotionally healthy child. Thank you for this channel. I will never marry. If my woman won't understand that, tough. I will never sign a contract that can destroy my whole life just because of the slightest female whim.
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Guys, if you are in a marriage, you know very well that you can't win. You pay the bills, you will get accused of being old-fashioned. You don't pay the bills, you will get accused of being useless. You look after the kids, you will be accused of not working hard in your job/not getting a promotion. You don't look after the kids, you will be accused of being a neglectful father. Honestly, do not get married, do not co-habitat, and live an area where the laws are favourable (50 : 50 custody, no child support, no common law marriage).
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in a conference i went to a few months ago at university (it was about sexual assault laws), a sociologist described that the traditional dating roles still largely exist in younger people, those being that the guy "desires and pursues" and the girl "barters for her worth", which i think explains a lot of this.
i think a lot of girls have standards for the first date and such because that's what they're willing to settle for in a first date with someone they don't initially care about. a lot of guys are very persistent, and a lot of girls feel some amount of pressure to find a boyfriend, so saying "yes if" is easier than saying "no", plus there's a chance they'll actually enjoy it and like the guy.
girls also tend to have guys asking them out and willing to go the lengths to make the date happen, but not the opposite, so they're the ones who are expected (and need) to have standards. also being desired is fun for a lot of women.
i think people at large need to rethink the gender role of men in all of this. it hurts men for no reason, and these men often take the anger and pain out on women. it's made several generations bleed, but both men and women are very hesitant in reconsidering and deconstructing masculine gender roles, largely because they're not really recognized as such. most women think âboys will be boysâ, while most men are unwilling to introspect and think about this in a societal context.
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I am a 72 year old Widower, after 47 years of a Wonderful marriage. I met a woman who's only husband divorced Her after 38 years of marriage, we hit it off, and I felt I could help Her, and Yes I was/ am still LONELY for my wonderful wife, since Her husband won their house in the divorce, she had no where to go, so I invited Her into my house, without any rent. We have been together now for 3 years, and it has been very good, but now she wants marriage, at first I kinda did too, but rethought things and told her no. I think she has it very good with me a very nice house in a very nice neighborhood and town, but she wants that ring and happily ever after. She says she is very stable and would Never divorce me, but while I like her in my life, and still like my freedom too. I am kinda just letting things go this way and I think she knows that IF she wanted to move on, she could without any Drama from me, I mean I never had drama in my first and only marriage and I do not want any now at my age. But being lonely IS an issue.
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I defeated my ex in divorce court without a lawyer. I defeated her in custody court without a lawyer.
She ended up having to pay me $50000 to get rid of me and got minimal child support.
I'm no fool.
The problem is that it's impossible to know what choice you are if you're in love. We can rationalize anything. This is especially powerful if our options are limited and she's gorgeous. We're not all Brad Pitt. So many other variables are at play: self esteem, mental illness, her history, your experience with women, attractiveness, her perceptions, her relationship with her father, her age and history with genuine abuse.
These have to be added in to the mix before we can make a proper evaluation. If we're depressed, our gut will likely be wrong. Anxiety makes everything seem worse. Unfortunately, the red pill takes none of this into consideration.
Nevertheless, the attorney here is correct, but when the heart is involved, we all end up morons. Evaluation is easy in the abstract, but never in our own case.
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Mr Noble - you will truly never be thanked enough for the valuable work you are doing, and the knowledge you are spreading.
I am a long-time listener from Ontario, Canada. Aspiring law student, mid-twenties, single, never married, no kids, 7-figure net worth (from inheritance), and working full time as an Insurance Law Clerk since I was 19. One would think I have no need to watch your videos regarding divorce, but they would be mistaken.
As you have stated in the past "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure"; words that I have lived by my entire life. Words that my father took great pains to drill into me as a boy, right from primary school. Like yourself, he always wanted to see the facts in any situation, not letting emotions cloud his judgment.
I consider myself lucky to have had him in my life, and I realize not everyone out there can say the same. I watch your videos daily on my train rides, partially because you remind me of him, but mostly to avoid the life-altering situations and scenarios you discuss.
Keep up the great work Counselor; you're in the business of saving lives.
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I believe that one of Warren Buffet's rules for investing is to NEVER invest in something you don't understand; that's a great way to lose your shirt! I figure he knows a thing or two about investing, amen? Secondly, my Peruvian ex GF (I was going to move there and marry her) wanted me to buy apartments, so we could live from the rental income. I pointed out to her that, as owners, we'd be on the hook for everything that went wrong; we'd either have to fix problems ourselves, or pay someone to do that. I also pointed out that the real estate and rental markets could go down. In Lima, they did; now, she can't rent extra rooms in her house. We're still on friendly terms, and, after seeing my track record on things, she just says I'm smart about everything... :)
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I dont think anyone thats 22 would ever be thinking about this stuff, and even if you advised him he would most likely brush it off. This looks like a ran thru cougar that had baby rabies and looking for a retirement package, the wall is closing in, no one her age or older locally was dumb enough to take this bad deal, so she looked for a young dumb buck to praying mantised him. There was no need to marry her, and if the young buck wanted kids he could find better in someone younger than him, and if no one younger than him would take him seriously because everyone is stuck up here in the usa then he could wait to get older to raise his value OR if you dont want to wait then get your passport and geomax, younger girls in other countrys will take him, of course he will have to marry them to bring them back, and yes you will probably get divorced too, but at least this way you get something young and attractive and nice n tight đđđđ´
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This is 100% spot on. After a 30 year marriage, my husband was caught having multiple affairs via the Ashley Madison cheaters site. He did not want to get a divorce because of this, and wanted to go to marriage counselling to âsave the marriageâ. I really just wanted a divorce because the trust was destroyed, but - (regretfully) appeased his wishes, because I knew he would be a nightmare to divorce. During the counselling sessionsâŚwhich went on for 10 months, and he took no accountability whatsoever for his affairs, and unbelievably blamed them on ME (because I apparently didnât give him enough attention). The counsellor diagnosed him with sex addiction and Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and told me to run for my life, which I did. Imagine my shock. at the first mediation after I filed for divorce, when his lawyer announced to the mediatorâŚthat my husband was âblindsidedâ by the divorce. What?!? He was out to play the victim, rather than the lying, cheating antagonist that he was. The divorce dragged on for three brutal and costly years, while he did nothing but lie, manipulate and stallâŚusing the legal system to âpunishâ me for divorcing him. They are a nightmare, and you will never know how vindictive and hateful they are, until you want out of the relationship. Avoid these people at all cost. Wolves in sheepâs clothing. đş
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Another terrific episode! Thanks for educating young men who have no father figure to teach them. As you said, one problem is they are narcs, but second one is the other person has no boundaries, and are kind of persons who want to save them or fix them. Remember guys, you are not here to fix anyone, fix yourself and just share live with another great people, if someone is not consistent, and actions are not same as words, dragging you down, just call them out everytime, resolve the problem or leave, dont be scared you will be someone bad who left.
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Bottom line here is keep your clothes on until you've dated for 6 months, and know the person. Casual and sex should not be used in the same sentence. Alcohol in the mix is a disaster as well.
This is why you waited until marriage for sex, back in the day. Now, I'm not saying that needs to be done, especially for those not wanting to be married, but you get my point. "Hooking up" isn't proving to be a great idea. Sex is making love, with emotions incolved, etc. If you want to have hook-ups, pay for them, or you will pay for them dearly. That's what it seems to me, anyway.
A cautionary tale, indeed. VERY VERY sad, ugh.
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I'm single for many years. No arguments, no misunderstandings, no brooding silences, no compromises, no reminders, no unremembered agreements, no guilt trips, no histrionics, no control, no drama, no suggestions, no debt, no shopping, no mortgage, no 9-5, no hassle. It's a very nice life.
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The problem with advising young men of the perils of future marital problems is that they will not listen. I would not have listened at 25, I didn't even think of if your wife changes on you how will this affect your life. Nobody thinks that way when young and in love and plenty of sex and she's red hot for you, can't wait to see you and talk on the phone. I could speak 'til I'm blue in the face and they will not listen to our warning. Marriage can be outstanding and that's the bait...the good trumps the bad until later on down the line. And you cannot see from age 25, trust me believe it like gospel...young people never ever think they're going to die. Or going to end up miserable or end up poor or end up with health concerns. They think they will come up with solutions because we've all been there at that age. I know it happened to you, mom and dad, but I'm different, I'm smarter, I learned what NOT to do. I treat my honey better than you did yours so she'll respect and appreciate me later. But once that wife of yours changes her tune, because of menopause or some other reason, you will be trapped with a woman unlike the one you married. You will not recognize her. I call it "Sleeping with the Enemy". It's gonna happen as sure as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west.
Better question: are the good decades you may experience worth the bad that comes later in life? I think the answer is yes. Being happy with a sweetheart trumps being happy as a bachelor. I've been both and been extremely happy both. But with this caveat: being miserable with a wife is unlike anything you'll experience. It's dreadful, lonely, sad, defeating, uninspiring, and such a vital waste of your greatest resource...your time on this planet. You only get so many good years to be happy. Marital strife exhausts so much from you, so much time is wasted and never to be retrieved. At the time, you think, "Why the F*ck did I ever get married to this B*tch?". Better question would be: What is my exit strategy, after all reasonable solutions have been exhausted...best exit strategy out of this and on with my new life?
If you could lay the woman of your dreams forever without marriage and she'd stay looking good and being a sweetheart...all without marriage, that would be paradise. But that ain't reality. Most quality women want marriage. They covet marital security and later, the marital money tree that you or both of you provide. Money becomes her new husband and you, an afterthought. Doesn't matter how muscular you are, great a dancer, personality that lights up the room, how wonderful a father to her kids, and how skilled you are in the bedroom...finances will become her new god later half of the marriage. Understand it now because one day you will remember my words.
I realize that women change...and not for the better. I get that, I live that. I have had 29 out of 35 awesome years and now have to contend with the worst part of marriage realities. The best answer I can give is to examine the pros vs the cons of being in this relationship. Take a big picture view of her, not just count up her bad qualities and say "f*ck it, I'm out". She's not all bad, you know that. But the bad things she does may be dealbreakers. Be ready and willing to be honest with yourself. Can you live the rest of your life being unhappy? Well, can you? She's not changing. You know that...
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Jazz, I'm far older than 20s, but I remember that I felt that I needed a girlfriend during my mid to late 20s. But ironically, I was often forced to be alone, and chose to enjoy those times anyway. I travelled alone, visited wonderful places (all the East Mediterranean countries except Lebanon) all alone, or joined up with others (men and women) for short times of companionship (nothing else). Have great memories of seeing places, and meeting people that I wouldn't have been free to meet had I been with a girlfriend or wife. That has been my pattern in life since then. I very often meet interesting people that I wouldn't have met had I not been alone. And when I explore (like Petra in Jordan) by myself, I am still thrilled. I've always been an avid bike rider, and usually ride alone. I still do now that I'm north of 60. So if you can take any advice from me, it's just get out and enjoy whatever your interests are, and you'll meet others or not. But try to enjoy those interests anyway. I'm an avid symphony goer. I usually go alone, and when I do, I have opportunities to meet people that I'd never meet if I were accompanied by someone else.
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Been there done that! I would recommend one more layer of protection. Read,study, research everything to learn about divorce in your court jurisdiction. In any profession there are specialists who are just getting by, there are large firms with hundreds of clients that will bill the H out of everything, and there are those who live and breathe the latest information to WIN and prevail for their clients. You want a current practice trial attorney who is known as a winner to help you keep from losing every asset you have earned and will earn in the future. Why? Because opposing attorneys might just be more cunning, skilled and aggressive. The best defense requires an excellent offense. George Washington, in 1799 wrote, ââŚmake them believe, that offensive operations, often times, is the surest, if not the only (in some cases) means of defenseâ. Sun Tzu, the Chinese military general, writer and philosopher in The Art of War wrote that âAttack is the secret of defense; defense is the planning of an attackâ.
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First, I'm from Poland. People here also do love traditional lavish weddings but nowadays more and more people choose a less costly wedding. I got married a few years ago, I've organized my wedding myself. Everything cost me approx. 2000-2200 $ (which still was quite a big amount of money for me): hen do was a nice cozy evening in one of the local restaurants, wedding dress was bought online and altered by my friend, I opted for casual bouquet instead of a 'wedding bouquet' (+200% of the original price...), 2 course dinner with wine, dessert and a wedding cake, and a grill party in my garden afterwards. No pigeons, Chinese lanterns, gifts for quests, expensive hen do trips, 12 bridesmaids etc.etc. Some people were dismayed because of how this event looked like and because I limited the number of guests, asking them not to bring their children along. I preferred to spend my money on a pre-wedding Europe trip and it was the best choice. My parents also respected my choice. I only regret not doing the pre-nup.
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 @BRIANDER100 she was always deceitful regarding money, piled up debts behind my back, was spending on crap we do not need etc. The pinnacle was when I discovered that she had taken several credit cards out in my name and forging my signature. This combined with an "I am always right and do not blow this out of proportion attitude" and her parents fully backing her up in all of this I thought that I had to pull the plug now rather than in 10 years when she can really damage me. During lockdown she was seriously criticising me for still going to work (I am a key worker) with her having already lost her tiny income due to covid. This lead to suhch big arguments that I said enough is enough. At the current time we have no assets (thanks to her spending) and only debts, so there is nothing to divide. Her and her deadbeat family will not get her fingers in my inheritance which they were hoping for. as my parents have not made their will yet. She was also spoiling our son and had no proper concept of child rearing. Our son and her thought it was funny to hit me. However, now in front of court, I am the child and wife abuser of course. That was the short version. Do not get married guys!!
Edit: of course it takes always two to tango so here are her accusations: I did not give her emotional support (I was listening to her crap every day), I did not help enough in the household (I was cooking and doing the dishes almost on a daily basis but I did not jump to her demand), I was not spending time with our son (I was playing with him every day when I came back from work and was bringing him to bed every day while she was out with her friends), it is always about money with me, and the highlight "this marriage has not benefited me at all (her words). Did I mention not to get married guys, I cannot remember...;-)
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Thank you Johnathan đ so nice of you to once again share your valuable advice. I have watched your program and Silke for a long time. I am so glad I have. All of you taught me so much. I always went for tall men, leaving anyone short out of my profile. đ silly me. I finally met my soul mate and absolute love of my life, and guess what? I would never have considered him as a partner if it wasn't for he sage advice given by yourself and Silke on this subject. When we met, I was very hesitant as he was smaller than me in stature, and definitely not my usual 'type'. Plus most men here are drop outs and losers. Well I was finally proven wrong....thank the lord. Wow! Am I my own worst advisor? Well, the upside was that I met him in the flesh, in my home town, where I had given up all hope meeting any kind of a halfway fewest man, in any way shape or means. I was fed up with internet dating, I was impatient to move on with my life and wham, there he was. Perfect and sweet and kind and incredibly gentle. I could not have found a more perfect man if I had searched. We plan to marry soon. The point I want to make, is your advice was spot on, both you and Silke, go slowly and check what's beneath the bonnet and unwrap the parcel slowly before you jump to any conclusions. Yours in love đĽ°
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Another great reminder for us, thank you Counselor Noble!
Yea, I'm definitely empathetic and generous by nature and a brutalized childhood. I had a difficult time with pursuing my own needs and preferences. How does that happen?
For a Chinese American kid, I had a bizarre childhood.
I had back to back abandonment issues between my mom, grandma, aunt and stepmom. Dad was only around to check my grades every once in a while and started a new family when I was 8, he dumped me at his mom's.
Why wasn't I with my mom? My dad blackmailed my mom to get me back when she kidnapped both my sister and I when I was five. She returned me because my mom had set up a fraudulent marriage between a young Mexican staffer of us (he owned a trucking company) and my mom's younger sister.
Mom returned me but emptied my dad's bank accounts, particularly his business accounts and shacked up with that young staffer for...another 14 years.
Mom went back to court with dad's fresh cash and spent the next couple years to get partial custody and weekend visitation rights...
To say my mom's boyfriend brutalized his former boss's son would be a gross understatement.
Guarantees were made on this overall transaction too...but my dad called off the death squad. In hindsight, this was a gross miscalculation because the aftermath devastated half a dozen lives and two coffins would've been a lot better. By hindsight is 20/20.
Yup. That only covers my life from age 0-8 and it gets way worse. But yea, I was surrounded by criminals, narcissists, con men, con women and pedos.
I'm very grateful to have grown up in raising myself successfully despite the unimaginable abuse and repeated parental/primary care abandonment. If you know the Kaiser Adverse Childhood Experience quiz, I score a 8.5 ish out of ten. Which is pure nightmare fuel.
I know most of us out there reading this come from broken homes and that rate is accelerating.
Plus with society's pressures on the disposability of men, it's easy and shockingly natural to turn yourself into a door mat. This made me ripe for corporate bosses to milk the crap out of me...and I was very smart, enthusiastic and talented. I made my masters a lot of money while bleeding myself out in bad jobs and more.
But God sent me help in the way of supportive teachers, generous librarians at school and a dog that would protect me from physical assaults from my father/grandmother/mother. A 9 pound terrier's death growl is forever burned into my brain. My little dog shamed my six foot two father to stop beating me. That man can move upright pianos up flights of stairs by himself with only a dolly. I'm built similarly but I don't have his muscular hypertrophy gifts.
So yea...easy for me to be the enthusiastic doormat. My needs were run over. Don't worry, I had my head on straight and stayed safe. Started studying psychology, religion and philosophy before age ten (voracious reader). Librarians took notice of me very early at the public library and at school.
This is actually a book, I would love to share it with you Mr. Noble with the first volume is completed. I think you'll enjoy the story, it has a happening ending but god damn, sometimes you can get lost when you exclusively take the road less traveled. Fcuk, wasn't my choice but I played my pocket cards with desperation and passion. It worked. But again, I credit my dog most importantly. When he died at 15 years old, I buried him on our favorite hillside below Mission Peak in Fremont, California and I left home forever. No explanation, no note, just moved in a day and never talked to them again.
Shit, I haven't even gotten to the juicy stuff like FBI marshals raiding us, Commies in Macau, hum@n tr@fficking from Wuhan to Nevada or dealing with N0rth K0reans.
Uh, thusly, I am furiously writing the books.
I cannot NOT tell what happened. I wish I was making this up. I really was. No one is more shocked than me. I cannot believe the sheer concentration of greed, criminality and narcissism in my so-called family. I should be dead or in jail with my upbringing. Some of my relatives are though. I knew enough addiction theory to absolutely not self-medicate. I was in poverty anyway, who the hell has money for drugs or alcohol? $8 for a beer plus tip was half an ounce of silver during college and I wanted financial freedom baby.
So yea, don't worry too much, I really came out well and it's only the 2nd quarter of my life at age 37. I'm writing this after a nice trading day in the markets for options and futures, my poodle stud sleeps happily on my feet and I'm enjoying the day with some videos and I got golf scheduled in a few hours. My 30 cals are neatly stacked in the closet safe and oiled. All blades freshly stoned every Sunday evening. Jiu jitsu gi's sitting in my closet waiting for the next dojo visit while I have my body weight in gold and silver under lock and key outside the residence. My squat rack waits quietly next to the DJ booth in the garage. My 1970 Dodge Challenger (in the shop right now) also shares the garage while 37 signed vinyl albums from my favorite DJ's and musicians line the wall.
I did more than okay. I ended a criminal family when I left. I was the sole boy and firstborn. You can imagine the expectations and pressures on me as a Chinese kid. But thou shalt assault and manipulate me no more. My Uncle tried desperately to recruit me as his 2nd in command. I said "fcuk you, I'm going home to my dog," and I enjoyed the last year of my dog's life together and when I buried him, I exited the family forever.
"There is no success without a successor."
I didn't have to tell them that, I just did it. I lived my philosophy.
So yea, I was a desperate and empathetic kid. I had to be. I had to front-load all the niceties and social grace points so I could do well in school and work. Yea, I got played and fcuked over several times. But there was no other way, not with my near zero resources.
But there's benefits too. I can't be lied to. When you're four years old and sidestepping ped0s and assaults at home, you REALLY learn to study people with a deathly intensity. I study body language like there's no tomorrow. Cause there almost wasn't. That's been really good for poker. And as a musician, I listen to voice inflection and cadence with the utmost stillness because I had to discern intent immediately. You factor in a working knowledge of applied psychology, history, religion, philosophy and multiple languages...and I basically don't even look at people anymore. I weigh souls.
And I'm still standing. I can backhand narcissists with the utmost ease now and bad folks are terrified of me. It is not easy to try to upstage someone who is six foot two, 200 pounds of trained and honed athletic precision with several thousand hours of combat training who is also more educated than most, articulate and can read you literally like a children's book.
The ugly duckling grew up to be a fcuking dragon. Grawr =)
Again, my dog saved me and still keeps me safe. In his honor, I refuse the siren calls of the dark side. I will let nothing stand in my way to see him again in the afterlife. I have a long shit list and believe me...I can do "no body, no case." But hell is not worth it. Not to be denied from my beloved dog and most important friend. I'm no saint, but I'm shooting for purgatory and I hope my dog intercedes as my lawyer with St. Peter. I saved a lot of animals, children, and ironically, for a divorced kid, I've done 600+ weddings as a DJ. I've seen some shit hahahaha.
But yea, one can have too many red pills. Hahahha.
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Even if a woman hasn't dated NBA players, rich businessmen, etc., if she's over 30 and still decent looking, you're STILL her 2nd choice! She's still settling. Why? If she's college educated career woman, then she's ridden the carousel; she's been with top notch guys; that is to say she's an alpha widow. Hence, any man she marries, particularly after 30, is her 2nd choice. See the Netflix series, "Sex/Life", which models this dynamic; that's a series where art truly imitates modern life.
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I don't drink and drive anyway, just because the EXISTING DUI laws are so messed up! For example, let's say I had a few, yet I realize that and do the right thing by parking somewhere to sleep it off. I can STILL be charged, even though I did the right thing! The law will say that I was responsible and in control of my vehicle. How can that be, when I'm not operating it? Those are the sorts of things that'll encourage people to drive drunk, because, even if they pull over to sleep it off, they'll still be charged. Anyway, because the DUI laws and BAC standards are so draconian, I don't drive drunk as it is.
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This is great advice. My partner was married to a BPD woman for 35 years until she split on him. There were red flags galore in the beginning but he chose to ignore them because she was beautiful, a talented and well known singer, passionate, charismatic and love-bombed him like no other woman ever had. He realized he'd made a mistake after a few years (marry in haste, repent at leisure) but by then they had a baby and she was the glue that kept them together. Fast forward to the divorce; once the ink was dry on the paperwork she started hoovering and begging him to reconcile. For 8 years she's kept this up despite knowing he's been in a solid relationship with me for 6 years. She's lied, gaslighted, blamed, and finally we had to block her phone numbers, email, return letters and packages unopened, but still she persisted. Their daughter finally got her into therapy and I truly hope this is helping her.
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Sounds like a wee bit of gift money might have gone a long way to sway opinion lolâŚthose who have eyes and ears know what this means. Boo đť yah đ
.
Plus, I never confide s*!t in witches because vast majority of other females will snitch at the slightest if you dangle a credit card or a new pair of shoes in their face lol. Legit thatâs why I watch who I associate with and who has invested in themselves at the minimum that Iâve invested in myselfâŚhaving a Bachelorâs degree is a major investment in myself, thus so as long as the guy (assuming hetero-relationships) has the same level of education as I do, then itâs a start. I was lucky đ to have gone to exclusive private schools and then I went to and graduated from a prestigious university in Massachusetts. If the prospective male doesnât have a bachelorâs degree from an accredited university, then I substitute the degree for net assets 6 figure minimum. When I didnât apply this standard, thatâs when I had trouble with scrubs lol đ! Not the medical kind, mind you đâŚThis formula set may not work for many. However, based on the stuff a lot of divorced men have confided in me over the years, I totally agree why a wealthy man wouldnât want to share too many secrets with his girlfriend or wife even. Women are vindictive AF, like cats ! Itâs a rare woman whoâs ok with amicable breakups and amicable divorce proceedings. To the good men out there, let her keep the house and just walk away. But can she afford to keep the house ? People forget about property taxes and utilities when they have a decent man bankrolling those shopping sprees. Peace.
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Lawyers never tell you that Family Court will enforce a Prenup/Postnup even if the husband can no longer afford it. The court never invalidates the contract â they just enforce it and take all your assets and send you out the door âstill owing wife the remaining $2 million specified in the Prenup.â In other words they issue mathematically impossible divorce judgments to Husbands who were rich at the wedding but who are poor at divorce. The court logic is basically âScrew you, you signed this prenup so spend the rest of your life trying to make the remaining $2 million and when you make it youâve got to hand it to your ex wife because your prenup says 10 million but you only have 8 million to give wife at the time of divorce.â This happened to my father and my best friendâs father. The friendâs father got stripped of everything â 10,000 sf house, cars, boats, shotgun collection, wristwatch. He ended up homeless living at his new girlfriendâs house while (right now as we speak) the ex wife keeps going to court trying to take his social security checks. I donât mean sheâs trying to get wifeâs âmatchingâ social security amount. She already has that. I mean sheâs trying to take the manâs actual SSA income after he receives it each month. That divorce battle has been going for about 5 years. Meanwhile my own fatherâs divorce has been going on for 8 years (since 2016) until he finally died at age 100 and now itâs STILL going because his ex wife is trying to sue the Estate. Iâm telling you guys, NEVER GET MARRIED. I would rather kill myself that be married. When you get married, you are marrying a series of judges â in family court and appeals court. Youâre not âmarrying a woman,â youâre marrying a system built and perfected over hundreds of years to strip you of your assets, freedom, and children.
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I saw a few episodes of this show and while the drama is amplified for entertaining the masses, I understand the feeling of lack and the need for affirmations, romance and loneliness that puts people in this position, but some of these people are overestimating their own attractiveness. Like how are you an overweight, unproductive, unhygienic, dreamless black hole of need who is a 2ď¸âŁ at best, but think they are well rounded enough to attract a 8ď¸âŁ-đ?
All that money to a con artist when a person couldâve taken that money and worked on self betterment, take a cruise, go to paint therapy classes, join a gym, join a reading club at the library, learn to scuba dive, go to horse shows, any thing of interest.
#noshade #KnowThyself.
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It appears that your subscriber count isn't shown anywhere on your channel page or underneath any of your videos. So I assume that YouTube is giving you a hard time with some strikes or they're trying to withhold your subscriber count because you're telling it like it is about marriage and they can't handle it, if my hunch is correct "as ive seen it happen before with creaters who speak their their mind about touchy subjects" their subscriber counter disappears, they get shadow banned and their video views and subscribers suffer as they start to not even get picked up by the algorithm to be pushed in front of fresh eyes, the subscribers also start to hardly get notified about new videos a channel makes, it's a process of them trying to kill a channel, before your videos get lost from the free speech police, you should make another channel, but do it on bitchute just in case and use that as a backup channel, put all the content you have here on there as well, sorta like a mirror, a lot of people do that these day's, bitchute is for free speech, many creaters who have been shadow banned and their channels get deleted from youtube have flocked there all together ditching youtube because of it's ever stricter policymaking, they're not pansies like YouTube who try to censor or demonitize everything they don't agree with from a channel, they will actually let you speak your mind however you please because it's crowd funded by people who use it and who are tired of being silenced. Bigtech says all kind of slanderous things about bitchute, only because they cannot control it and shut people down from having an opinion. I'll be likely going there soon myself.
Great video, keep it up, you'll help many men out there who fell for the good ole bait n switch. I suggest this because your content is really good, and could save a lot of men from having to suffer from a wild ride in the courts...
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Jonathan, the factor you don't mention is the role of religion. Christianity, in all its various forms from Orthodoxy to Catholicism to Evangelicalism, says that sex outside of marriage is prohibited. For non-religious people that's not an issue, but for religious people it is. So if a religious man over 40 wants to have sex, he's supposed to do that in the confines of marriage. He's also not supposed to marry someone of a different religion. I understand that a man (or woman) over 40, who has accrued assets, both in real estate and in savings, puts those assets at risk by marrying. But if he wants to be obedient to his religion's dictates, then he has to either marry, or remain celebate. I don't doubt that you're well familiar with these things. For what it's worth, you can find an objective discussion of marriage from the Christian perspective by searching Youtube for "Christian Marriage by C.S. Lewis Doodle".
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 @jcnlawÂ
Divorce Court, nightmare ended after 18 months of litigation... or so I thought.
The judge refused future CS payments after it came out kid's not even my DNA.
Judge ordered I was ONLY paying $50 per month CS on the 18 month divorce while I was presumed to be the biological father.
(Divorce lasted 18, months due to her fleeing to neighboring states multiple times to miss court mandated appointments.)
X immediately requested the judge cancel my driving privileges, and send me directly to jail for owing child support in excess of state rules.
Judge laughed & refused, stating he'd only retro actively ordered CS 5 minutes prior.
I got a call a few days later that my insurance was cancelled as my driving privileges had been revoked.
X had gone around the judges orders and had my driving privileges revoked by state Health and Welfare, for owing, retroactive, child support in excess of state rule.
H&W told X sorry they don't have the authority to send me to jail, just yank my license, go see the judge for that.
The court had the judges order that I was only paying $50 monthly until the retro active cs was paid off, but H&W claimed they could not find it.
Once I faxed signed paperwork that I was going to pay H&W what the judge ordered they reactivated my driving privileges.
I them had to go find a new auto insurance before I could leave my apartment with my car.
I mistakenly thought that was the end of my H&W hassles. H&W were limited to only taking $50 a month, (+$5 garnishment fee)
from my paycheck, untiI I paid off the retro active CS amount on 18 months of litigation.
$55 A month turned into $55 every paycheck. When I changed employers it got even worse!
H&W started talking as much as they wanted.
I immediately requested H&W give an accounting on how much was still owed for the retro active amount that the judge ordered limited to $50 monthly (plus garnishment fees?)
H&W worker on phone falsely believed I was paying CS on current months going forward and as much as they wanted to take from my paycheck for the outstanding balance = retro active amount.
The minor in question is now old enough to drink legally, while CV-19 effectively ended in person communication with H&W. I get emails but can't prove I'm authorized to view the account, WTH.
đ¤ If I move/ work in different state will H&W still be able to steal from my paycheck or tax return?
judge cancel my driving privileges, for child support in excess of __, and send me directly to jail.
Judge refused stating he'd only ordered CS 5 minutes prior & only for the 18 months the divorce lasted, 18, due to her fleeing to neighboring states multiple times.
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I spent 8 years with one - first and more than likely the last relationship I'll ever be in. He was fine (or so I thought) before we got married. About 2 months after we got married, his mask fell off - he moved 1200 miles away to be with someone else and play daddy to her kids, abandoning me and his daughter from his first marriage. He never told me who he left me for, never admitted to anything (I had to find out on my own), and blamed me for everything. When I would question him on his shady behavior, the narcissistc rage would come out - he would scream at me, accuse me of being crazy, call me names, leave for days/weeks... he tried to destroy me. We were only married 8 months. I found out later that he had this girl lined up while I was walking down the aisle.
Four years later - my life is so wonderful and peaceful now. I have God, family, friends, my cat, hobbies, a good job... I have no desire to be in another relationship ever again. I will never be able to trust anyone after that ordeal. I really thought he cared about me and loved me, and it turns out he just used me for his own selfish desires. The whole entire relationshit from start to finish was a lie. That's what narcs do - they lie, cheat, steal and destroy.
Nowadays with social media and the messed up dating culture of sleeping with every Tom, Dick and Harry out there - I want NO part of it! Being single I keep my sanity, my heart, my peace, my health, my money, and my freedom.
Sorry for the long winded post - thank you for spreading this knowledge far and wide about this epidemic. To everyone who is going through this now or has in the past, I hope you will find peace and the wounds heal. đ And if at all possible, keep the narc blocked from all aspects of your life permanently.
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The unpopular answer to your first question â and Iâll take heat for saying this, but itâs the cold hard truth â is that almost all women will become their mother as they get older. Itâs biological, and they canât help it; itâs not their fault. That âsexy chickâ you married, the one thatâs fun to be around and everyone likes, is going to hit menopause and all kinds of yet-unnamed hormonal changes through her 40s, 50s, and beyond, as well as physical and mental changes from pregnancy and childbirth and breastfeeding, and those changes are going to turn her into her own mother. Iâm talking about personality, mental processing, and of course physical appearance. Women on YouTube are going to lash out if they see this comment, but the happy truth is that the universe has given you a crystal ball to see what your girlfriend will becomeâjust take a good, hard look at her mother (and maybe her father, too). If the old lady is ditzy, cranky, a real Karen, bipolarâor whatever it isâthatâs whatâs coming for the daughter in a couple of decades. On the other hand, if her mother is a patient, kind, productive, creative, supportive, uplifting 50-something (in private and in public), a woman you love spending time with, put a ring on the daughter!
Take it from a man who married the love of his life (she was a fun and hot 20-something!) but privately thought the mother-in-law was a somewhat weird, absentminded, oddly self-centered woman who didnât take care of herself. Guess what my wife has become as she now arrives at the same age her mother was when we got married? Yep. Even at a young, naive age, I had enough foresight to know instantly that I would never want to be married to the mother-in-law, not in a million years. Guess what I have now? Iâve watched this transmogrification happen in slow motion before my eyes over a quarter century, and I have the Ivy League education to understand how the biology and neuroscience make this happen. So trust me, just find an older woman you adore and marry her daughter. Run from any situation that is the opposite!
Bonus point: I love my children with all my heart, but I have also come to realize Iâm living with more of my in-lawsâ DNA inside the walls of my own home than they have in their house! My kidsâ DNA is half theirs! Itâs obvious my kids are carriers of some predispositions (like we all have) that look astonishingly like the in-laws. Of course, this goes for all sides of the family, mine included. The takeaway: no matter how much you believe in nurture, marriage and having kids is a breeding problem first. Find good breeding stock if you want a happy marriage. Itâs not a womanâs fault what hormones and DNA-encoded aging will do to her personality. But now that you know this, it will be your fault if you marry the daughter of a woman you wouldnât want to be married to. Peace.
[Btw this is addressing when you marry someone who has no red flags herself. If you marry someone with red flags of her own, well, thatâs just stupid. As most videos on this channel make clear.]
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Unfortunately, people who have not experienced narcissistic abuse just won't be able to comprehend what it is, or believe the stories you tell. And MANY people think they can "spot" narcissists, like they have a radar for it, so after so much doubts and late nights pains and false accusations, I got help from Greatermindhacker as he helped hack my cheating wifeâs phone and I got access to all her phone call logs, emails, text messages both deleted texts and also social media chats; whatsApp , Facebook, Instagram without having access to her phone because she is mostly out of town due to the nature of her work and I was able to track her location too, as far back as 2 years. I saw so many heartbreaking activies my wife was involved. I owe it to Greatermindhacker, He's available 24HOURS. Just Call OR Text +16194310306 and On WhatsApp +12626837511. Contact him for closure greatermindhacker AT gmail.com ....Iâm glad to uncover her, lies, secrets and Infidelity.
I'm thinking of talking to my lawyer about a divorce. Any suggestions from anyone?
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dear jonathan let me tell you something : in italy is worst by far !
in italy we don't have prenup the divorce can take you years ( not kidding) , and i remember a lawyer who make a service and interview with a famous journalist ... and you know what this lawyer explained in this interview ?
He made a legal road map with every step and a fair and detailed comparison , and he explained why killing your partner is extremlly cheaper and faster than a divorce in italy ....i'm not kidding !
The only solution i see for a man who want a kid and a family is this one :
1) if you're an average joe forget about it , the only way to do it is to be a enterpreneur with a lots of cash , experience around the world in different country etc. ( for example , me personally i can afford it in 2'/ 3 years but even then i'm not gonna do it because i have no benefit)
2) buy different passport by investment( possibily 4 or 5 ) and never let anybody know about it , even your future wife !
3) never let all your assets in one country ! is dumb , and more of the point don't put you assets in the same country where you know that you will have a family
4) use trust found and holding company and different banking system to make sure you're ok in case something go wrong, i.e hire the top people on asset protection and trust found etc.
5) before you trying to getting a wife , select the country with the best law not for the marriage , but for the divorce. possiblly avoid western country.
6) then you can go and find a wife .... but watch out and keep your eyes wide open and mouth shut !
my 2 cents ... hope this help
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I have a couple questions about international divorce that I cannot find the answers to, and I hope u can help đ
If separated spouses now live in different countries, where should the spouse who fled (due to DV) file: in the country where the marriage took place and where the husband and house are located (Ontario, Canada), or the country where the spouse who fled is currently located (IL, USA)?
I've seen confusing info on this. Some say to file where one is currently located bc of "homecourt advantage" (ie, not traveling for court, the jurisdiction is close by, etc).
Others say that filing in the other country (Canada) is better bc it could be less expensive, the laws are within the jurisdiction that the marriage took place, I won't have to figure out how to serve internationally (and can be expensive???), and the settlements can be enforced better (?). But I may need to travel for court (unless zoom is possible).
Which is most advantageous? We don't have much assets, just the house which I don't want, and a joint bank account. All I want is the divorce and my dog.
Also, what is the process and expense to serve someone in Canada from the USA?
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I was born in 1989. I grew up during the era of the legendary cartoon shows and anime. Toonami, Dragon Ball, Sailor Moon, Gundam Wing 00, G Gundam, Pokemon, Digimon, Power Rangers, Yu Yu Hakusho, Ronin Warriors, Tenchi Muyo, and many other amazing shows I could name. This was also during Sega Genesis, Nintendo, Super Nintendo, Dreamcast, Playstation 1, and Nintendo 64. Ever since I was a kid, I promised myself I would never get married or have children. I can't tell you why. I simply did. I still have not been married. I don't care for marriage. Marriage is also a demonic trap for men. No intellectual man who ever get married. It's not worth it. The Matrix system must come down!
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Single women are in good health, funds in their account, credit is solid, traveling the world, at the gym & making memories with family.
Meanwhile married women watching social media for the spouse posts, obesed, aged, hair thinning, cooking & cleaning everyday, borrowing money, sex on birthday & holidays, getting yelled at, praying fervently for their spouse to stop drinking & smoking and living a double life. Waiting for an allowance, Spending years at marriage counseling. Basically, just existing.
Go figureâźď¸
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My wife dumped me in 2011 at 41, I was depressed for three years, I thought my life was over and I was waiting for the end. One day, I started to live again..I am not exactly where I want to be but I'm not where I used to be.
My ex wife is eight years younger than me but her health is the cellar...her overall health wasn't exactly great, I was a strength athlete so I have had a better time managing health. I still lift weights, I walk, I eat much better. The only real bad times with my health were the last year I was married and the three years recovering afterwards.
I only hope that for the kids sake that she can have a long life, that she'll take back control of her health. At the risk of sounding controversial, I am glad that it will be her boyfriend at the moment that will be tasked with taking care of her, not me. When I got sick, the few times I dared to get sick around her...she avoided me like the plague and acted as if my getting sick was part of a plan to inconvenience her. Her boyfriend can take care of her. Not my circus, not my monkey. I knew a guy who was dating a woman..a very unpleasant woman about my ex wife's age. She had a accident and was dealing with a hip replacement and that poor guy was stuck with her. I said to myself: never again. I heard he worked up the courage to dump her. The poor guy wasn't married to her, he didn't have to sign up for that. I escaped a similar fate, now I don't have to worry about that anymore.
I came out the other side, I am back to doing all the things that I enjoyed.
I haven't dated much and I'm used to flying solo. I don't think I will get married again, I don't see the point.
I have noticed a certain younger woman who makes her presence known..who knows?
I know for certain that I don't need a piece of paper for happiness and I don't want to live with someone again. I have my space and she can keep hers..all I need is a cat and a dog.
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I don't have children, but I WAS a child once, and my parents divorced. Having written that, If "50/50" means I would've had to be shuffled around 50% of the time, I cannot imagine that upheaval being good for a child. Does this mean they are at one parent's home 3.5 days per week and vice/versa? Do they attend two different schools if the other parent lives in a different district?? Children need consistency and a stable main home. Now sure, if parents are only thinking of themselves, then yes, 50/50 makes sense đ. But I can't see where this benefits the children in any way in any situation. Why not tackle the larger issue of how men are getting gang-raped financially by the laws/courts - and general bias against men??? THAT is the more important issue, IMO. Kids are fine if they are loved and cared for regardless of who gets to see them most. I don't see where this 50/50 arrangement will do anything positive for the overall psychological well-being and raising of the child, except to confuse their little minds and make life chaotic. If a governor or any legislator has the balls to tackle the more detrimental issue in divorce and child custody, quit thinking all mothers are perfect so they should be able to make a guy financially destitute!!! Make THAT part of a law 50/50 and I may applaud it.
*And I'm a woman writing this*
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Useful info as always. Yes they are hard to spot, you have to look for more subtle signs. One thing I've found useful is to spot for with coverts is contradictory and crazy-making communication, where they say "yes" or "no" but your gut/intuition just tells you they mean the opposite.
For example, if you refuse or say no to something, they might say "fine", but you sense they're not fine at all. Their entire pattern of communication is two faced, and what they're really conveying is "it's alright, but it's NOT alright" at the same time, in other words, two contradictory and opposing things at the same time. The masks comes off eventually but in the early days they'll try and conceal their ugly side.
It might start off seeming harmless, but later on, THIS is what drives us crazy about the covert narcs communication in my experience. It's confusing and schizophrenic and starts to mess with our head as they can't just communicate clearly and directly (hence the term covert). They verbally communicate one thing when they mean it's opposite constantly. Go through a couple of years of that and you won't know up from down anymore. It's crazy-making.
Thanks for posting these videos with high value info, I'm currently binge watching your channel!
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 @jcnlaw I was late 20s. My sibling early 20s. Both married within knowing the respective partner for less than a year. Both have had to file for divorce since. I've known many in Christian schools and colleges (and other similar settings) where couples marry within one year. most of them i've known have had terrible marriages; i believe they are not being properly trained for adulthood, let alone marriagehood. After reading Facing Codependence, I now understand that many adults have failed to properly mature into adulthood, thus bringing that immaturity (and dysfunctionality) into the marriage, which doesn't just go away, but rather becomes magnified 100 million times!
I just tell people now, go, get a job, save, pay off debt, become independently wealthy, and when you bring other people into your life, exercise full control over your boundaries with them. And, if you're not confident in yourself now, marrying someone will just become a nightmare, because they will try to define you for you and you will not be happy with their definition of you, and you will just become misreable....misreable for the rest of your life.
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One simple solution is that you - not her - select a mid-range restaurant, such as Olive Garden. If she complains the restaurant of your choosing isn't good enough, then you most likely have a foodie caller (someone who is only looking for free food and nothing more). After you & her arrive at the restaurant & find a table, tell her that the ordering of food will occur 20 to 25 minutes later. Explain that you want to provide her your complete attention & get to know her during that initial timeframe. If she responds with an attitude, you know you have a foodie caller. If that's the case, politely wish her the best then immediately cut your losses and walk away. Ditto if there's little to no chemistry or connection. That is the discipline. But if she likes you, she'll gladly wait the 20 to 25 minutes before ordering. For me much of this is no longer applicable. Four years ago, I made the decision to switch to Spanish-speaking Latinas, either residing in or from Latin America. Despite a demanding career, I spent a great deal of time learning & developing Spanish fluency. And for the last three years I've had an exclusive relationship with a beautiful, slender noble Peruvian lady with a heart of gold.
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Well, It's just as you said in a previous video:
It doesn't matter what you think is "fair", but the law in your jurisdiction.
And again, it is all about proper preparation and employing a specialist.
And again, great video. You, sir, inspired me to start studying the law a bit (JUST A BIT!) and get a list of lawyer phones in my country.
People, remember, that just like doctors and engineers, lawyers have further specialization. Seek a good specialist. I already have contacted retirement lawyers, building license lawyers (I don't know if I translated it correctly, no I am not from the US). It saved my assets and sanity more than once. And I will most surely contact marriage counselors if that happens, months before I even pop the question. Preparation is key. Be a good Boy Scout, don't get caught unprepared.
Keep doing (law) god's work, sir. And thank you, I'll be careful out there. Wishing the same to you.
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Women will only love a man very conditionally, like they need a man who's 6-ft height, 6-pack abs, 6-figure income, house, car, model-looking face and body etc.; basically-- they only want guys who are out of their league. Whereas a man like me, only wants a girl who can message me everyday with >5 genuine and sincerely warm messages, and I don't care about looks, income, height, weight, career & degrees etc.; basically-- I can love a woman unconditionally-- even if they are below my league! Unfortunately, those genuinely romantic and loyal women are just fictional, and are impossible to find these days! Thatâs why I too donât want simping, because itâs my way of testing them if they like me for my resources, or for me genuinely.
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Excellent advice. Do what you enjoy and invite her along. If she hates your favorite pastimes, it's not going to work anyway. She doesn't have to love all of your hobbies as much as you, just not hate them.
Picnics, the zoo, aquariums, and museums are all great places to go that have interesting things to spark conversations and to get to know each other. If she's just looking to pick up an expensive meal on your tab, she's not interested in meeting and getting to really know a guy for a possible long-term relationship. The ones that won't do interesting things that involve actually getting to know YOU are saving you time, money, and frustration.
Men, don't lead with your wallets. Ladies, don't lead with "your wallet" either.
Women are going to do their hair and make up no matter what. They do it every day they go to work or out with friends. Are we going to start giving extra credit for bathing and dental hygiene as well? My free time is valuable to me. I don't get much time off from work. If I'm spending my time with a woman, then I'm giving up time I could be spending with friends or doing something I enjoy. She's not doing me a favor by slapping on some face paint and showing up, I'm doing her a favor by spending my limited time with her. She better have my interest after a date or two, or I'm moving on.
Eventually, I'll take her to a nice restaurant because I like good food and atmosphere. But I'm also watching how she does there. If you weren't raised with proper table manners, you can certainly learn them easily enough nowadays. I don't want to be with someone that is going to be an embarrassment every time we go to dinner wth friends or clients. I'm also watching how she treats the staff. If someone treats Waitstaff very poorly, that's a sign of who they really are. That is a huge tip off of on what they are really like.
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Don't lead with your wallet; in other words, don't think of money as the most important factor in retrieving a relationship. More often than not, if you are rich, you are bound to run into females who don't genuinely have an interest in you. Women can be pretty expensive, but only if you make it that way. For the right girl, you likely won't mind, but I'd say try not to start it off that way. Make it a mystery, make it an unknown (your financial balance). You want a girl to love you for who you are rather than what you have. Keep up the good work bro, you'll do well. I have hope that you'll find an amazing, beautiful, and charismatic woman. You are the prize. Remember that. :>
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I'll be 58 in two months. This is straight up 100% NO BULL-SHIT TRUTH :yougotthis:
I'll add some things here:
âDON'T EVER ask a woman what her ideal date is. if she would like to go for coffee, dinner, or whatever, or wherever; keep it on the cheap.
âWhen it's time to pay, see if she reaches for her wallet or offers to pay all or half; also notice the tone and manner in which she offers to do so, she even does.
âIf you ask about her age and she gets defensive, offended or surprised, or if she hides or lies about her age, finish the date, and right her off! If she's hiding or lying about her age, or she's offended by your question, then she's probably hiding or lying about far more important things, and has some serious psychological problems as well.
âDressing nice is good, but avoid woman who are fashion obsessed.
âAvoid woman with tattoos. One or two small discreet ones are probably OK, but more than that, large ones, all over her body (regardless of size), are a definite red flag; and in my far from humble opinion, repulsive. đ¤Ž
The idea here is to avoid females who will exploit you for what they think you have, or dismiss you for what they think you don't have.
FWBs are a good thing, and are usually mutual; try to have a few if possible. I have found them to be more agreeable, sensible, sexually responsible, and quite easy to be with versus other types of intimate or sexual relationships.
If a woman wants to be with you, literally nothing will stop her, whatever her situation or circumstancesâor yoursâ Beware of this type of woman, for this could be the greatest thing ever, or the worst thing ever, .
Just some FYI from a soon-to-be 58 year-old who's still in the game.
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Sounds exactly like my ex, lmao, types like this are far to common and wayyy to destructive, especially when its a the so called "fairer sex" " cant use what their commonly called because YouTube will delete my comment, apparently they can't handle anything that slights the other sex, but if you were to change everything to man this man that it would post, dont believe me? Copy and paste this comment and change it to the other sex in various places and it will not post, youtube simply hates men... Anyway, these narcs, they use sex to manipulate you, they'll wear a mask of perfection, but underneath they're broken people, they'll use your urges in whatever way possible to get you addicted to them and they mirror everything you want to make you drop your guard, when the mask slips, it'll be very sudden, and they play hot cold hot cold hot cold! By the end you'll see how the relationship pretty much turns into anything and everything about them, you'll see how un affectionate and un caring they really are, with tyese types its always the love bomb devalue discard and hoover cycle, they never mean any apologies when they say sorry for being abusive, in a way they enjoy the level of control they have over you, they're incapable of love and are butterfly chasers even after they say ohh i love you i love you, you find just how much its just a word to them, they'll make the break up dramatic, and say all these things that sound good, but in reality want to keep you in their life as a narc supply orbiter only and nothing more, but move on within weeks after your together for years, while your still grieving over that abuse they threw at you and that you fell for a perfectly crafted illusion, theyre already getting their guts dug out by some random dude they met on tinder, they have no self respect and deserve to be treated in such a way, they use people to embellish their fragile egos lmao, these types are just good for a quick lay and nothing more, no strings attached, get in get out, they will give you a mind blowing good time, in that regard, use their game aginst them, then when they start to be abusive, just simply walk away, with proof that they pretty much consented to y'all fooling about, have screenshots saved whatever type of proof to protect your self, then split, dont put up with their shit, you can never have any real relationship with them, you can't help them, you cant save them, they're horrible people just like bpd ice queens and will eat your soul for breakfast, been though it 4 times, so you might as well use their game against them to actually get something out of it, dont be the theripst boyfriend either, theyll never appreciate it nor the insight you give, these people coldly rip your heart out with no remorse, they never let anyone in anyway "my last even said this"... Ive been tricked and lied to enough by these jeckle and hyde types enough that i know how they work, only thing i need as a young man is my vinyl collection and maybe some action on the side every now and again, they're at least very good at that "its one of the tools they'll use to manipulate you, but be aware of it, because of social media, onlyfans, tinder ect. they're egos are so blown out of proportions, they get validation all the time up their ass every second of every day, the ones who are a little better then average will still have a million dudes stroking their egos, so its very common for them to be covert narcs, just have fun with them, no strings attached, keep in mind what they are, then get up and leave after they start their shit, its simple as that, it makes sense why those dudes in the past that ive seen wouldnt play the heres my shoulder to cry on about your terrible life and family game and would have their fun and leave, back then i didn't get it, but looking back each of those lassys were like this.... Ive dated a few town tricycles before, never fall for their lies about low partner count either, its all bs, lmao. It'll take me while to fully bounce back from the abuse ive suffered, but when I do, itll be smash and dash time, lmao, im done with the mr nice guy shit, its never appreciated.
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Jonathan, a more general question: In support cases, does it always come down to who is paying how much support? If you have what amounts to a roommate-style situation, where you each contribute 50-50 to everything, and then you split up, would a court award support payments at all? Does there have to be an asymmetry in expenditures? If expenditures are equal for the common home, utilities, food, and activities/travel, but incomes are markedly different, could a court award support?
Asking about the US and jurisdictions you are familiar with
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Mr Noble says narcissists are 10% of the population, but I would estimate 20-25%. Just among my circle friends, I can spot 3 cases already. Narcissists are the most personable, charming, witty, and charismatic people you will ever meet. And of course the most evil, vile, manipulative & deceptive people on earth for the unwitting. ETA I have a friend of a friend, and his friend married a narc. In their courting days, she would bring him lunch every day at his work place, and when he married her, he told his friends he was the luckiest guy alive to be married to this woman. After a year of wedded bliss things started to go downhill, the wonderful sex etc started getting fewer and far between, she gained control of their joint money, and he barely had enough money to survive. It took him 2 years to get out of this relationship.
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If any guy is going to do random hookups, then he MUST RECORD the intimate activity! I'm serious! Some years ago, five guys from Hofstra University did a gang bang on this girl. She instigated it; she pulled a train for whatever reason. There was a problem: she had a BF, who was suspicious about where she'd been; she looked disheveled, which tipped him off. To cover herself, she lied and said that she'd been raped. The authorities (prosecutor and police) went after the Hofstra boys, arrested them, jailed them, and pressed heavy charges against them-charges that could've ruined their lives. The only thing that saved them was the fact that one of them had VIDEOTAPED everything! That's right; there was documentary evidence that Damnel Ndonye had pulled a train! Once that came out, the charges were dropped, and the boys went free. The Nassau County prosecutor, a Democrat woman, gave Ndonye the pussy pass though; she was never charged for filing false charges, lying to the authorities, etc. Methinks there's a lesson somewhere in there...
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The truth is that some people never do these things until AFTER you marry them. I married an Australian. We sailed together, had lots of fun together, he was supportive, positive, gave lip service to wanting me to do the things that were important to me ... etc.
About three months after we married one day it was as if a light switch was thrown and he was the exact opposite. I made the excuses and on and on and on ... Year 4, most of which was chronic gaslighting on his part, one day I finally said, "You are not at all like the person I married.". I remember his response verbatim, "Oh Xe, everyone pretends to be someone they are not. You can't keep that up after you're married." Finally he came to a moment of honesty, and I heard the words that set me free, except they didn't. He was free. He had only ever taken, no investment in me. I did all the giving and I was depleted. Now when I say I am happy to be alone I am told how I am the problem, a man hater, or a diva, or a ... shrug They can say whatever blaming me. I am very happy alone and each time someone insults me as if I must be the problem because I am a woman ... I had a great dad. I have had lots of male friends all my life. The men I knew never insulted women who had trusted the wrong kind of man, they were the first ones to offer up support, because they don't identify with that kind of man. hmmm Maybe that should be a red flag. :)
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