Hearted Youtube comments on The Japan Reporter (@TheJapanReporter) channel.

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  29. I understand why women want to stay in their mariage after an infidelity, especially if they were stay at home mothers because they would have no ressources. At the same time, I can't help but feel sorry for the child being raised in a loveless mariage. I grew up in one. I have never seen my parents love each other. I have never seen them share a bedroom. I have never seen them respect each other, support each other, do basic things together. Kids are not stupid. They pick up on things and mirror their parents' behavior. I remember begging my mom to divorce when I was 12 because my father was not exactly an upstanding citizen and I was his target until I was 18 and I left. She told me that my older brother needed to have a father figure in his life, so that she would never divorce. The damage it did took me all my twenties to work on. I had a lot of anger that my needs were ignored, that I wasn't protected. I had to relearn everything I knew about human interractions, healthy boundaries, not tolerating abuse and I had to rebuild myself. And it damaged my brother as well. He grew up to be like my father and now cannot live in society. He had troubles with the justice system, doesn't have a job and stays at home with them. I understand wanting your child to have a role model to look up to, and a father figure is extremely important, just be careful of your choice for that. For years, I was terrified of picking the wrong man and to suffer the consequences like my mother did because I knew that I was statistically prone to do just that. To repeat the cycle.To be attracted to what's familiar instead of what's healthy. Luckily, I worked on myself for a decade before making that choice and my husband is a good man. The situation might not be as extreme in the video, but that little girl will still grow up seeing her parents resent each other. That will do terrible damage to her psyche. If her dad loved her so much that he didn't want to hurt her, he should have stayed faithful and worked through whatever issue he had with the wife. I hate how cheating is so common and excused.
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