Comments by "Cottidae" (@CottidaeSEA) on "HealthyGamerGG" channel.

@Jeeulye One of the most powerful techniques of speech is deliberate pauses. If you cut out all pauses, it reduces the effectiveness of a speech and not allowing time for processing also means less will be remembered and understood. That's part of what makes a deliberate pause so powerful.
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If a question is difficult and you haven't gotten time to prepare an answer, you'll probably sound stupid. If you're put in a situation where you're asked about something you know little of, you'll probably sound stupid. That's basically the summary of what you wrote and I am in complete agreement. Besides, a lot of people will just answer in a basic way when they simply can't be bothered to think about it.
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@jinxedmeta1963 Me too, but I'd probably be a manipulative piece of shit if I could, so I'm also glad I can't.
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I've had a similar experience, though I was in the boyfriend situation of your story. It wasn't so much that I was disappointed by her flaws, I was fine with all of that. The thing that really got me to grow apathetic towards her was that just about every show of affection I did was faced with rejection or criticism, but if I rejected her affection even once it was disastrous for her. I ended up not doing anything to show my affection and she eventually said she had essentially grown tired of me, that I didn't show her that I loved her enough, etc. I truly wish I had sat down to talk with her about this at the time. It wouldn't have saved the relationship, it was too late for that, but I think it would've been good for her future relationship(s).
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I have no words of empathy to provide, I'm not that kind of person, but I think you'll do just fine. You seem to be a strong person, so as long as you find a time and place to rest for a bit before pushing on you'll do well. If you can find someone who can provide that short respite then you'll have a good partner for you. It might not be the most passionate of relationships, but one that works.
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When I was younger, my discomfort with being at school sometimes manifested as fever. Ended up being "sick" very often because of it. My mother was understanding, said "rest today and go back refreshed tomorrow" and that was exactly what I needed to hear. Stress still kind of does the same thing, but it's not nearly as bad.
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I want to write this comment before watching through the video to see how well it matches up, and with as little bias as possible. I was a "gifted child", smart, everything was easy, theory, practical, everything. I was even good at sports. However, I felt a consistent lack of stimulation, because everything was far too easy. I was finished with 6th grade maths in 1st grade. I spoke fairly fluent English (not my native language). I could read and write well. I had no issue with social studies. The only part where I actually struggled was writing short stories. I kept begging the teachers to give me more difficult things to do for years and years, but nothing. I was basically done with everything I could do in advance by 2nd grade. So until 7th grade, I didn't do anything but attend classes and do the day to day boring stuff. I needed more stimulation. Then once 7th grade arrived, I had become so demotivated that I was a borderline delinquent. I stopped caring completely, didn't go to classes frequently, just enough to get a passing grade. For maths I didn't do anything but sit and wait until the tests, which I'd fill in the bare minimum to pass and then just turn it in and leave. I had 0 mistakes on my tests, and my score was always at the exact limit. Because I made it that way. I just wanted to get out, so something more interesting, because school was just associated with demotivation and boredom. It was a prison, a torture chamber. Once I found something even slightly interesting, I aced it immediately without fail and minimal effort, which bored me. This led to stress, depression and loads of various garbage. It was simply awful.
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The studying example is very relatable, although in my case it was more that I didn't have to study at all until a certain point, which was when I was 13 or 14. I still maintained decent grades, but I didn't get top scores without effort anymore.
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I've gotten much better at dealing with and understanding my emotions these days. I was given SSRIs for a few years before and my alexithymia got way worse. It took me years to truly understand my feelings again because I became so distant from them for those years. During the time when I took SSRIs, I actually managed to get a girlfriend and we broke up less than two years later, but it isn't until these last couple of years that I actually understand why things happened the way they did. Long story short; I was blamed for not being loving enough. That part is true, but the more interesting thing is why. In the beginning, say the first 6 months, I was actually very loving and did loads of things for her and got appreciation. However, whenever it came to things like hugging and kissing, I was repeatedly rejected. I ended up not doing that anymore, because she clearly didn't want me to. Later, I also received complaints about other things I did for her, asked what was wrong and tried to do it better next time, was never good enough so I figured that she'll do it herself then. I wasn't even upset when she eventually broke up with me, because emotionally I had distanced myself from her for months already. She was already not my girlfriend by the time she broke up. Another thing that absolutely didn't help was that she also planned to move to a different country in order to study. When she told me, that was the time my emotions just checked out and said "this is not going to work." I do think there are things I could've done to not let the relationship get to that point, but honestly, I do not believe it was my fault that the relationship ended.
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I think this makes a lot of sense. I don't really feel these things, but I also don't think the way he described. So it matches up in that regard instead. I do think I'm better than others in some cases, but I usually just chalk it down to more time spent or RNG. Because for every thing I am good at, there is something I am bad at.
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Yeah, this is basically why I gave up on therapy. "How do you feel?" is simply a bad question for me. I can answer it with more than "I don't know" but it's still useless. That is why I instead stopped doing therapy and played games or worked out instead. Because those activities provided something. Therapy might have worked if I put more effort into it, but I just felt it was a waste of time. I know how to deal with things now, didn't get help from anyone and life is honestly pretty good.
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What he said about League of Legends, how do you know someone did a misplay in the scenario described, where someone takes more damage from the enemy minions than he did to the enemy champion, I'll explain exactly how to know. * Lost more health than opponent. * Attacked when the lane state was beneficial and likely pushing toward them, which would make a gank easier for teammates. * Didn't gain anything substantial. * Will not have enough time to push wave into tower to kill them before opponent gets back, because there are too many minions. It is extremely easy to determine once you look at the variables. Making the correct decisions while playing is harder. That's exactly why people make mistakes, even if they know all of these things.
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@breakingthemasks As a fellow man I can confirm what you say is true, but as someone who has many good relationships with women, I know they've experienced the same thing. I think that it is far more apparent when it happens to men, but I do think the same thing happens to women.
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Okay, so this was mostly true. Seems like what differentiated me was that I simply didn't feel the pressure to perform well. My experiences seem similar enough otherwise though. I truly wish I had been pushed to perform better and learn more by school though. Students should be pushed to perform well, to push their limits. That's what I truly missed in school. It wasn't until I started working that I got to push myself more, and it has been a struggle to be able to adapt that to what I can actually handle before I get burnt out.
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A hypothesis on why alexithymia has become more common among women is that they've entered the sphere that men have been in for all this time. Now they need to become more emotionally detached in order to perform at their highest level, because the emotions get in the way of work.
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If I can control my environment, my ADHD doesn't affect me much. It's when I can't that it goes out of control and everything becomes exhausting and unproductive.
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I have problems with tiredness because I have a hard time sleeping properly. My brain has a hard time shutting off to let me get proper rest. It's basically a 50/50 if I get good sleep or not during a good period. It's not enough to really affect my life that much, but it's frustrating. I used to sleep really well, but life just started kicking my ass once I became a teenager.
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