Youtube comments of Kyle Stubbs (@kylestubbs8867).

  1. I think he noticed the first time, and just decided to humor her.
    691
  2. I think he noticed after the first one, and just decided to humor her.
    188
  3. If that’s what keeps people like Greg Guttfeld away from college… then it’s definitely for the best.
    79
  4. 1:16 For anyone wondering, she did make it up. It’s Ed Davey.
    73
  5. Be honest, did anyone else expect the first guy to say “The Truth”?
    70
  6. "All right, you wanted me to change the atmosphere... so now I'm pumping carbon dioxide into the room."
    64
  7. For anyone who doesn’t know, “courgette” is another word for “zucchini”.
    50
  8. "If you're pre-born, you're fine. If you're pre-school you're f***ed." -George Carlin
    49
  9. “Eggs.” “…stop turning people int-“ “Eggs.”
    43
  10. Unlike those two idiots, fire does not discriminate.
    40
  11. “Croquet does NOT get BETTER than THIS.”
    31
  12. 0:56 The joke was brilliant. The reaction made it perfect.
    29
  13. False, it was “I hate writing these speeches.”
    25
  14. "Are you at all concerned that politics was at play..." Jake, are you looking at his face?
    23
  15. "Witnesses say he fell over and stopped breathing after a breakfast of fried eggs. So the cause of death could've been sunny-cide."
    23
  16. "They're Proud Boys. That's why they cover up their faces." Couldn't have said it better myself.
    22
  17. There's an odd sense of satisfaction I get from this. Even as this brave man kept beating and restraining a hateful gunman to save the lives of those around him... he never saw the gunman as less than human. He felt guilty as he beat him down, as he called for assistance in beating him down. I don't envy the guilt he has to carry in his heart for saving lives that night... but I salute his empathy. We all should.
    21
  18. No. Just no. You can’t convince me that this isn’t sadistic, that the head enforcers don’t get off on trapping other people in legal no-win scenarios to distract from their own sinful lives.
    20
  19. It's like John Kennedy once said, "Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable."
    18
  20. Is prostate cancer contagious? Just want to get the record straight on that.
    18
  21. No, you’re thinking of Mr. Thomas.
    16
  22. Remember when Trump said it was Mexico who wasn’t sending their best across our borders? He was projecting even then.
    16
  23. You’re not allowed to riot against people you don’t like. They came with riot gear.
    15
  24. I never trust a woman who sounds and acts that much like my brother.
    14
  25. Reminds me of that one line from Star Trek: “It was far easier for you, as civilized men, to behave like barbarians, than it was for them as barbarians to behave like civilized men…”
    14
  26. And clear positions. Not a lot of Republicans have those nowadays.
    13
  27. “Good evening, Britain. Now let’s go through all the reasons why it isn’t.”
    12
  28. I thought parents and teachers were supposed to teach children not to judge books by their covers.
    12
  29. As I believe Dr. Rashad Richey once put it, "A drunk tongue speaks a sober word".
    12
  30. The true mascot of the Republican Party is a cherry-picker.
    11
  31. Democrats, please call his bluff! Either force him to back down, or kindly show him the door. The “Senate Majority” he gives you now is solely in title.
    11
  32. Not a huge fan of Boris Johnson, but I commend his proper response to this pandemic. Certainly better than his American counterpart...
    10
  33. 0:25 “It’s Bigfoot! Run for your lives!”
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  34. Bisto is meat-flavored gravy powder.
    10
  35. 1:13 It was actually Rutherford B. Hayes... but credit where it's due, that guy actually did some research. The point he was trying to make by bringing that up... is anyone's guess.
    10
  36. White nationalists are a delicate, petty crowd. Really, it starts with the fact that they feel oppressed by dark-skinned people existing near them.
    10
  37. Is this video self-congratuatory? OF COURRRRRRSE!!
    10
  38. The message I get here is “Even black police officers aren’t safe from police brutality, but black people should become police officers if they want the brutalizers to face actual consequences.” It might sound ludicrous, but really… how far off is it?
    10
  39. Just show him being a Good Samaritan. It would stand out just as much in today’s society.
    9
  40. “Well, the evening’s not been wasted.”
    9
  41. Why does everyone insist in a stand-up comedian running our country? Because that's the very best thing he could be with this attitude.
    9
  42. This just in: Satan denies any and all involvement with this mural. He also applauds the “Christian charade” of the parents who somehow saw his essence there.
    9
  43. How adorable, you think he actually cares if it’s free speech.
    9
  44. He let Donald Trump and Kellyanne Conway back on Twitter. And a lot of people he’s banning are on the left side.
    9
  45. “But, to be fair, that was the twenty-eighth time she’d blacked out...”
    9
  46. Can you add an “r” to the video title? I don’t think YouTube as a whole is responsible.
    9
  47. Oh yeah, I heard about this on my Facebook Pokémon group. I bet the robbery was conducted by Team Rocket grunts.
    9
  48. Not that I'd want a reporter asking me if I was a pedophile... but if one did, I'd probably respond "No" quickly and clearly enough that they wouldn't have to ask again.
    9
  49. If that guy is an influencer... please keep me away from anyone he influences.
    9
  50. Major props to the guy who shouted “DEFLECTION!”
    9
  51. How did I watch this clip ten times and only just notice that?
    8
  52. “Sorry I’m late, me and the wife just had a big fight.”
    8
  53. Milton only got one joke in this time. But he made it a good one.
    8
  54. “Stop turning people int-“ “Eggs.”
    8
  55. Say what you want about Cenk, at least he admits his bias.
    8
  56. When everyone does. Sorry to say. And Tucker's throwing stones from inside his glass house at this point.
    8
  57. She’s not smarter than a 5th grader, I can say that much.
    8
  58. So if I stole a carton of Half-and-Half from my local supermarket, then told the people chasing me that I thought Half-and-Half was a brand of milk... I'd get the charges dropped?
    8
  59. Up until I see that dragon, I’m pushing back on it.
    8
  60. They’re protesting their own inconvenience. It’s as simple as that.
    8
  61. I’ve never respected a man so much for blocking traffic.
    8
  62. My parents watched the learning last night, and I heard them laughing out loud at one point. I’m guessing that point was 1:12.
    8
  63. I’ll always remember John McCain as the guy who defended his political opponent when he could’ve appealed to his base by talking smack about him. Such honor that we don’t see often nowadays...
    7
  64. Wow. “Cooking While Pissed” has a lot of spin-off shows.
    7
  65. “Wow, look at this!”
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  66.  @peterdowney1492  He also died in 1592, the same year he called Shakespeare an "Upstart Crow". So take any appearance beyond the first few episodes with a grain of salt.
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  67. “Let’s watch the SHIT out of these animals!”
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  68. What amnesia question? I think I would’ve remembered hearing one of those...
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  69. "Good evening, Britain! Now, let's go through all the reasons why it isn't..."
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  70. “Not as pissed as I was when I said yes!”
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  71. If cops want us to stop filming them, they need to stop acting in ways that they wouldn’t want us to film and post online. Let’s start with the basics: Don’t beat up or kill anyone just because they’re running away from you or hesitating to respond to you.
    7
  72. Publicly firing officers who think this was good PR... is even better PR.
    7
  73. Matthew 7:15 "Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves."
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  74. “I’ve watched every election for… decades, now. I’m quite old…” “No you’re not.”
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  75. Granted, you could make a shorter list of the things incels don’t erupt over.
    7
  76. Every baseless accusation is a confession.
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  77. How much is the CEO of that company paid? Just curious.
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  78. Yes, Meghyn Kelly is a racist.
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  79. Good Lord, this man is a special kind of stupid.
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  80. What a wuss. What an absolute wuss. Maybe he felt “macho” claiming the parents of those shooting victims were liars, but actually being held accountable for it? Realizing he can’t fight his way through it? Flees like a beta male. It was a real shooting. My high school was close enough that it went into lockdown, and although we all got out okay… the town could feel that loss. So this news really grinds my gears.
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  81. Two words: Vermin Supreme
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  82. No, anyone could do it. Milton just does it best.
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  83. Whenever Trump claims to do something inherently good, my first thought will always be "What's the catch?" It's good that he's drawing public focus to the opioid crisis, but that seems like all he's doing.
    6
  84. “And it rained for forty days and forty nights, all the while, Noah’s children debated whether to kill the termites and woodpeckers.”
    6
  85. C. “I’m tired of giving these speeches.”
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  86. You know Whose Line began in Britain, right? From the same company, as I recall.
    6
  87. “My friend Billy has a ten-foot Willy.”
    6
  88. “Back by popular demand, Frankie Boyle!”
    6
  89. What made you think he didn't get it?
    6
  90. I do.
    6
  91. Some people just look for excuses to get angry.
    6
  92. 8:30 Props to Senator Warren for framing it that simply.
    6
  93. And yet you still watch it. Why?
    6
  94. She doesn’t hate guns. If anything, she hates how frivolous we treat these weapons capable of killing or seriously injuring other people. You can think other people don’t take gun ownership seriously regardless of whether or not you yourself own a gun.
    6
  95. Sure is a lot easier for some people to defend the rights of an embryo or a fetus than the human being it eventually grows into. Y’know, before it has any opinions, or costs any money to keep alive separately.
    6
  96. Not like they care about treating the children that are actually born any better.
    6
  97. It happens in plenty of other countries. We just claimed to hold higher standards.
    6
  98. Maybe she is a child of god. But so is every person impacted by her actions. That excuse is null and void.
    6
  99. As a reminder, this is the same guy who predicted in the mid-2000s that housing markets would not collapse, and that there wouldn't be a recession in 2007... around the time said recession had already started.
    6
  100. There’s just something so authentic about how inauthentic he is.
    6
  101. While I don’t support her cause… I respect her honesty. A lot of people in that room try to hide their thirst for punishing others.
    6
  102. Well, there’s an obvious answer… but even then, he’d have been the sanest person in the crowd.
    6
  103. Because he’s only protesting the Christian faith. It’s the one more people in this country are doing wrong.
    6
  104. According to the border patrol agents who eventually killed the shooter, local Uvalde police ordered them to stand down… an order they disobeyed after 30 minutes of waiting and the shooter not being stopped. If the local police were this cowardly, why stifle their own backup? Seriously, why?!
    6
  105. “The dolphin fetus himself, Charlie Kirk.”
    6
  106. You realize the Pope was just saying "Let's help people who are having a tough time", right?
    6
  107. It's equal parts fascinating and disgusting to hear this kind of commentary.
    6
  108. "Arrest quotas" are utterly ridiculous. Who the heck supports them?
    6
  109. To anyone who thinks this story was taken out of context… you do realize legislation was recently passed making it illegal for anyone in a school to be made guilty on account of their race… right?
    6
  110. It’s really telling how humane the concepts are that make Fox News go on the defensive.
    6
  111. It's true that not all Americans are like this... but enough of them are. Enough of them have an idea of patriotism that reveals an incredible lack of self-awareness, and these LARPers are mocking them in a way that should make them aware. Problem is, that reflection is often lost on the people it's actually supposed to reflect.
    6
  112. “They will acknowledge crises and communities that are hurting… but only for Whataboutisms.”
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  113. Because the puppy and the 5-year-old were clearly government officials.
    6
  114. Or maybe the Prince noticed and just chose to humor her.
    6
  115. Also an essentially British thing... given how many “explain the first joke” comments I’ve seen here.
    5
  116. Can someone explain that last one?
    5
  117. “What is the probability of a train from Southern Rail arriving on time? Use five decimal places.”
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  118. Also originated in Britain. From the same company, IIRC.
    5
  119. Even more hilarious in hindsight.
    5
  120. “I am almost certain… that was a floating voter.”
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  121. I love how he highlighted the word "Unlikely" after that.
    5
  122. What is amnesia? Is it a) memory loss...
    5
  123. I was expecting him to tell that “Deja vu” joke a third time.
    5
  124. Meanwhile, Hugh wins it hands burning.
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  125. For a second, I thought "Wally" was one of the other five comedians.
    5
  126. It would be a portal to Cloudcuckooland.
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  127. No, it's a great amount of gun owners who don't understand it. They only seem to remember "the right to bear arms shall not be infringed", and completely ignore "A well regulated militia". There's nothing well-regulated about a guy who either wants to kill someone with his gun, or thinks using it to threaten other people should be a legal right.
    5
  128. The Antifa cases are a lot fewer and further between.
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  129. 😂 I didn’t even notice the gummy bears until he pointed it out.
    5
  130. Reminds of that video where a woman got her foot caught in the gap between a subway and boarding platform. As good samaritans nearby came to help her, she begged them not to call 911, saying “I can’t afford that”.
    5
  131. This story made me chuckle a bit more than it should've.
    5
  132. A good prank is something the intended victim can laugh at later on. If the point was to catch their sad or upset expressions, it’s a bad prank.
    5
  133. To the parents most worried about a class “turning your child gay”, I ask this: What fraction of the day would that take up compared to the heterosexual family life and media they’re exposed to?
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  134. It’s all a matter of spite. You can’t negotiate with people who care more about the other side losing than their own side winning, and at this point, the people who still try are just branding themselves as fools.
    5
  135. I remember hearing about this guy on SNL’s “Weekend Update” last week. He and Micheal Che… have a lot of similar positions.
    5
  136. Broadly speaking, if you have explain how you can still be a good Christian after doing something detrimental… then you’re not a good Christian.
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  137. You just want to be mad at them, don’t you? Their point is that they don’t want anything banned or burned purely on the basis of them not liking it.
    5
  138. Kudos to the women who helped collect data for that simulator. It takes steady nerves to remember pain like that, let alone gauge it.
    5
  139. Gettr Done. I’ll keep saying it until it happens.
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  140. Have you considered that maybe they couldn’t? That they were desperate to get away from conditions at home and had to take the options made available to them? Cases where wealthy people have to do something are much fewer and further between.
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  141. I'm reminded of the movie "Danger, Death Ray!", where the titular death ray was built for peaceful purposes. These gun laws in Texas are equally absent of logic.
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  142. 3:28 It wasn’t just “some acclaim”. Marcin Urbaś is noted on Wikipedia to be “the Polish record holder for the 200 metres dash with 19.98 seconds.” That’s one centisecond slower than the time of that athlete he’s complaining about. Really puts his tantrum into perspective, doesn’t it?
    5
  143. Makes sense that they’d want her to stop filming. If my job involved petty fits of rage and injuring seniors because I didn’t feel like giving them what my job required me to give them… I wouldn’t want anyone to know about it. (It doesn’t, by the way.)
    5
  144. Empathy is tough to simulate for those who only know its dictionary definition.
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  145. Donald "Do as I say, not as I do" Trump.
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  146. You’re right. It’s because they’re inflammatory, they lack proper research, and as the guys there point out, it’s to get more clicks.
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  147. Should I find it more concerning that they're volunteer firefighters?
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  148. I'm proud to be someone Dennis Prager calls an idiot.
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  149. Less of a Manchin, More of a Millstone.
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  150. Thanks to the Daily Show, I’ll always look at that guy and think “electrocuted nine-year-old”.
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  151. We want a “well-regulated militia”, as it says in the Second Ammendment we all hear so much about. What this country has is not well-regulated.
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  152. I believe that was a Decepticon.
    4
  153. What's the fastest way to get Hitch McConnell out of office?
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  154. “I’m joking, the turkey’s fine.”
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  155. It’s actually “To me.” This episode aired a while after the guy who’d normally reply “To you” died.
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  156. 1:48 I was wondering where that little diddy came from.
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  157. 1:13 Story of my life.
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  158. C) “I hate making these speeches.”
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  159.  @luckunlim  Showaddywaddy?
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  160. Or “The train from Southern Rail came early.”
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  161. 3:26 It’s like Drew Carey once said in a similar situation: “I have the power to hire and fire.”
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  162. It’s a matter of who goes toward the microphone with a joke. And who ends up stepping back if another person gets there first.
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  163. Remind me, was it only three times in that earlier episode?
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  164. It’s worth noting that Frankie Boyle’s last episode came just before Milton Jones’s first episode.
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  165. He could've pretended to be one of the twins. Or the guy "skipping".
    4
  166. You’ve got to admire the bravery of that bloke.
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  167. 0:03 Did nobody tell him what happened when Andy Parsons tried that?
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  168. Or Silver. Or Crystal. I prefer Shield, honestly.
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  169. Makes sense. It’s a head full of sciency facts.
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  170. Which one?
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  171. High Dennis?
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  172.  @Tralby19  “My name’s Dave”
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  173. Yeah, he wasn’t gonna do that again.
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  174. But more importantly, it hasn’t aged quite nicely.
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  175. Probably the one lucid thing I’ve heard Joe Rogan say. If you like the beer, what’s it matter who else drinks it, or what color the cans are painted? Same question for people freaking out about this that don’t drink beer.
    4
  176. As funny as this oversight is for the candidate... it really doesn't speak well of her local support.
    4
  177. Critics of gun reform need to understand - THIS is what we're afraid of. People who want an excuse to pull out their guns, and actively make a big deal of slight inconveniences. To quote Steve Hofstetter, "Every single gun owner here knows someone who owns a gun that you wish didn't."
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  178. Headline three days after the shooting: Federal agents entered Uvalde school to kill gunman despite local police initially asking them to wait. How many other officers and agents were told by local law enforcement to stand down? I think I could forgive the ones who only did nothing because of that.
    4
  179. To be fair, the guy at 1:13 did do his research. Aside from the first name (It was Rutherford B. Hayes), everything he said was correct. The only presidents after him who refused a legally-allowed extra term didn't have a full first one, filling in for predecessors who died in office. The point he was trying to make by bringing that up... is anyone's guess.
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  180. If you don’t like them, you’re welcome to stop watching them.
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  181. Every Republican figurehead would be out of a job if that happened.
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  182. As someone who actually has autism, could you explain what that means?
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  183. Well, how vocal did they make that detail? Or was it something the early reports just happened to leave out?
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  184. “Guns are fun. Shooting is fun. 30 rounds full auto is fun.” Yeah, but if those 30 rounds went into a living creature, they wouldn’t think so.
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  185. The fact that he overpaid for it is a pretty good indicator that he’s not trying to destroy Twitter. He’s just managing it that badly.
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  186. I see another disturbing trend here. Norfolk Southern held out so long on the basic provision of sick days… only to provide it here as a convenient way to save face. Sounds to me like an incentive to deprive workers… and it probably didn’t start with this.
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  187. If this lady were my math professor, I would never fall asleep in her class.
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  188.  @Makingnewnamesisdumb  Yeah, vaccines don't completely stop the virus. And condoms don't completely protect two people having sex from getting the woman pregnant. But they make the odds better. You do yourself a disservice by ignoring that.
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  189. Frankly, if Tucker Carlson didn't push against COVID protection and vaccines this hard, they wouldn't have to.
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  190. It's called nuance. Their disagreements aren't major enough to spark conflict. In fact, they give us viewers some perspective on a matter that isn't entirely binary.
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  191. Let me answer your question, sir. Musk doesn’t think it’s unacceptable when he does it.
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  192. Dunno… but I guess it involves defending a fully-formed human baby with the same vigor they use to defend embryos and fetuses. Would be a nice change of pace.
    4
  193. What do you mean "divisionism"? One of those four men isn't black, another one passed away, and not long after stating as much, they mentioned three names of people who would've actually fit. If anything, they're helping NewsMax correct their record. Not that they'd ever listen...
    4
  194. If you blame God for anything short of needless death, then you never cared in the first place.
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  195. I don’t like the Barbie movie either. Which is why I’m not going to watch it. No need to bash anyone who is.
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  196. To say "It takes a good guy with a gun to stop a bad guy with a gun" is to brazenly assume the police would know which is which.
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  197. Some people love being angry. The prefer the feeling of self-righteous rage over the feeling of happiness. That’s all this is about.
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  198. If you don't like what she's saying, then stop watching. Nobody's forcing you to listen.
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  199. Well, in a sense, he is doing them a favor. He’s assuring all of them “You were all doing the job fine. I just don’t want to pay you.”
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  200. For those keeping track at home, the informal definition of “woke” is “alert to racial prejudice and discrimination”. You can pretend it’s something easier to hate without ceding any moral high ground… but it’s not.
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  201. I'd just like to point out that chameleons don't change color to blend into their environments. They do it to regulate their own body temperatures. Which is a much better reason to change colors than Lindsey Graham ever had.
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  202. Not quite the same area of pain. Maybe not even the same intensity.
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  203. I see more men complaining than women.
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  204. As Trevor Noah once put it, “They threw him a softball, he swung and hit himself in the dick.”
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  205. Who knew that firing so many people on a whim would be a bad idea? Oh, right. Anyone with more brain cells than dollars.
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  206. Let me guess, he ran all the way down to the end until he was pooped out.
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  207. Hillary Clinton misuses her email server, and may have possibly upset a law written in 1969. The public criticizes her. Donald Trump denies a reporter access to one of his rallies, a direct violation of the First Amendment of the Bill of Rights, then proceeds to joke about killing reporters. The public loves him. Something is seriously wrong with this.
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  208. Props to Cenk for that last point. It's exactly how I'd go about it - put an actual price on the misconduct. Maybe take money for the settlements out of offending officers' paychecks and retirement funds. That would get 'em to sit up straight.
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  209. I feel hot right now. And I'm not sure if it's coming from outside or from these corrupt and inept politicians making my blood boil.
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  210. Every government shutdown has occurred while Republicans were in charge of the house. Look it up if you don’t believe me.
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  211. Republicans just want to be contrarians.
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  212. So, essentially... if countries were people, the United States would be a Karen.
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  213. “Because of course, homophobes, the first thing they think of when they see gay people is gay sex. They think about it more than gay people do.” -Rayyvana
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  214. I instinctively say “Oh, shut up” every five seconds I hear Tucker Carlson speak.
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  215. Either your admissions of regret lead into an effort to make things right… or they’re as useful as thoughts and prayers.
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  216. Geez… what took him so long?
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  217. Why do you care so much about the reason minors outside your family or circle of friends are getting surgery? If the minor, doctor and parents all consent, I couldn’t care less.
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  218. Or at least, make them something that can be done just as easily inside as outside? Then the rest of us won’t have to hear about it like this.
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  219. Ah, the Empathy Gap at work again. Either it left you unharmed and it doesn't exist, or it affects you personally and it's the most serious thing ever. Even the most ardent empaths will shut out people like that after a while.
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  220. Well, Donald Trump. And anyone who gets close enough to hear his complaints.
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  221. “Oh, he’ll run. Just not for office.”
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  222. It’s not just that so many people are fine with what Trump was promising. It’s also the number of people who voted for Biden in 2020 that couldn’t bring themselves to vote for Harris in 2024. And I can’t be that mad at them, because the Democrats only made a bare-minimum effort to come across as better.
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  223. It’s because Trump has led them on for years, appealing to the beliefs of his followers no matter their basis in reality, repeatedly insisting that only his words and the words of his favorite media figures were to be trusted. His followers are the kind of people who don’t question any of it.
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  224. 6:45 I thought you guys said you weren’t in the puppet business.
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  225. Beet Root Juice? How many infomercials are these people watching?
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  226. Trevor Noah sent me here.
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  227. It’s equivalent to a pink slip here in the U.S.
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  228. Do you mean now, or in 2016 when she supported trans rights?
    3
  229. "Drumpf"
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  230.  @fbiduty9919  You first.
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  231. 1:44
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  232. How legendary? Other comedians advertise him. (1:21)
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  233. 2:32 His what?
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  234. It doesn't... not anymore, at least.
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  235. C) “I hate writing these speeches.”
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  236. 1:26 What did he mumble at the end?
    3
  237. Probably “C: I hate giving motivational speeches.”
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  238. So you definitely wouldn’t hear that in a travel documentary.
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  239. Yeah... Thank god for the word “Ranger” in their Season 3 morphing call.
    3
  240. Explain please?
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  241.  @williamcrowe2576  yes.
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  242. For what it’s worth, Frankie’s last episode came right before Milton’s first one.
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  243. It’s worth noting that Frankie Boyle’s last episode came right before Milton Jones’s first one.
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  244. The previous joke was about the difference between an “Indian” and an “African Elephant”.
    3
  245. Do you mean 0:45 or 0:55?
    3
  246. (0:49)
    3
  247. Milton always nabs those ones. Survival show? “No, everyone’s dead.” Unlikely small ads? “Hello, my name’s Ads.” Political debate? “I’m sorry, did I interrupt you?”
    3
  248. “My name is Talky Teddy, and I don’t think I like you.”
    3
  249. Sure, but... I don’t think Dara did it himself.
    3
  250. Whose Line was created by the same people.
    3
  251. “It’s me, Procrastination Man!”
    3
  252. I like the ones where “Roses are Red” isn’t followed by “Violets are Blue”.
    3
  253. Wasn’t even that offensive, honestly.
    3
  254. Perhaps a Romeo-and-Juliet kind of story, maybe not with the romance or suicide, but definitely with the petty vendettas at the beginning.
    3
  255. Or in one Series 4 episode, “The Invisible Man”.
    3
  256. Purple. Obviously.
    3
  257. What amnesia joke? I don’t remember any.
    3
  258. “NOT AS PISSED AS I WAS WHEN I SAID YES.”
    3
  259. Got that one from Whose Line, didn’t you?
    3
  260. Only if you actually become one.
    3
  261. “How fresh is Dara really?”
    3
  262. Five Alive is a brand of tropical fruit juice.
    3
  263. I think he said "Veera by name", as in "veerer into traffic".
    3
  264. But you did hear one of his jokes at 0:58.
    3
  265. It means “You’re done, go back and let someone else have a turn.”
    3
  266. Is it A. Memory loss... ...A. Memory loss...
    3
  267. That was the microphone position.
    3
  268. We actually did see them. One “Sports Commentator” thing started with three members of one team each getting a joke in, and Dara setting a “line in the sand” so the other team could get a chance.
    3
  269. Well, more specifically, the Captain’s log in the ladies’ room. He wanted to go where no man had gone before.
    3
  270. Then came Milton’s impression.
    3
  271.  @williamherbert7938  No, he did. For the newscaster SWLTS.
    3
  272. It would actually be “Bertie”. And I recall one episode where he did serve as a replacement bus service.
    3
  273. 2:06 Doing more with less.
    3
  274. *the Banker.
    3
  275. And it could be applied virtually anywhere. Even for "Things You Wouldn't Hear at the Bakery".
    3
  276. It is to Milton what “The Cat!” is to Colin Mochrie.
    3
  277. Colin Mochrie could give him a run for his money.
    3
  278. 0:33 “From the makers of Cocka-one…”
    3
  279.  @martin1698  Then why watch?
    3
  280. What does gas have to do with diamonds?
    3
  281.  @barbarajoseph-adam8337  🎵 Feeling 🎵
    3
  282. Danielle found cigarette butts in the car, and used the thief’s cigarette purchases to chase her down. It’s possible.
    3
  283. Oh, like he’s the only one saying that out loud.
    3
  284. You don’t? A passenger was having a violent panic attack, other passengers were either getting hurt, spat on, or had to listen to her screaming, and the panicked flight crew felt the best course of action was to duct tape her body to a chair… then duct-tape her mouth shut. Surely you can find the problem in there somewhere.
    3
  285. Not that long after John Oliver did a segment about them, to boot.
    3
  286. It means “my dad thinks the shooting I narrowly survived was a hoax, and that my trauma is just an act to garner his sympathy”.
    3
  287. Eric: Hey, Dad’s talking about me!
    3
  288. Headline three days after the shooting: Federal agents entered Uvalde school to kill gunman despite local police initially asking them to wait. How many other officers and agents were told by local law enforcement to stand down? I think I could forgive the ones who only did nothing because of that.
    3
  289. Generally speaking, there is a difference. But for these cops in particular, you’re right.
    3
  290. Nothing. This is literally how the Republican Party sustains itself. By making the wind sweep down the plain.
    3
  291. Ooooooklahoma where the wind comes sweepin’ through the ears.
    3
  292. Only when you bring riot gear.
    3
  293. He’s not. I’m certain of it. Nobody pays more than double the value of something they intend to destroy. He’s just managing it that badly.
    3
  294. I've encountered a version of this. I was almost fired from a summer job because the straightforward email response I gave to one customer was reported as being "sarcastic".
    3
  295. As a general rule, if your method of gender-reveal is something you'd be uncomfortable bringing indoors - not your house specifically, just indoors - then don't do it. This one is okay. It's clearly staged, and some basements would be big enough to contain it.
    3
  296. Ratings. That's what's wrong with him. He wants ratings, and he's only being careful now that the stuff he's said about COVID is eating away at his living fanbase.
    3
  297. You realize you're proving their point, right?
    3
  298. The cop is also supposed to explain why they’re stopping you. I’ll obey a cop with an actual reason to arrest me. Not one who avoids the question because they know “not making me feel strong” is a bogus arrest charge.
    3
  299. Or maybe he doesn’t think the burdensome behavior that supposedly ensures a better afterlife should be forced upon everyone.
    3
  300. Most of the people I hear talking about "The value of hard work"... do not strike me as active workers. Or even parents of active workers.
    3
  301. Remind me… what HOAs were intended to do?
    3
  302. Geez... this is hard to watch. And I'm the kind of person who has these verbal stumbles when I talk about something provable.
    3
  303. 4:29 Jim Gaffigan: Hey, I like butter too.
    3
  304. Oh, and NewsMax doesn't? If that segment was run with pictures of Clarence Thomas, Tim Scott and Candace Owens - all names John suggested, by the way - along with either Ben Carson or David Clarke (with his name spelled properly), then TYT probably wouldn't have any reason to bring this up.
    3
  305. It is. I swear, we have too many people who get off on trapping others in no-win legal scenarios.
    3
  306. Oh, and let's make sure the cops assess the situation after they say "Freeze!" Otherwise, it'll go like this: https://youtu.be/BceXWa_NEZg?t=579
    3
  307. If they were “unarmed”, it was only in the sense of not having guns. They reportedly brought baseball bats, fire extinguishers and bear spray. As for not being there to murder someone… I don’t think a crowd of people would say something like “Hang Mike Pence” unless they actually planned to do it.
    3
  308. I don’t think he did. He’s being reckless with it, sure… but if he wanted to destroy it, wouldn’t he have tried to buy it for less?
    3
  309. Cenk does explain it. They blew off a direct request from the captain.
    3
  310. Well… they’re thankful that he made his position clear.
    3
  311. "I'm gonna make another ad this week!" "Oh, Jesus."
    3
  312. They didn’t determine that. They’re saying that it’s not a great look. If Ramsey really is a good Christian, why does he need to insist that kicking out all those tenants wasn’t his fault?
    3
  313. Okay. You’re not saying he’s wrong about anything.
    3
  314. Gender-neutral bathrooms might be “woke” ideology. Building windows to see what people do in those bathrooms… that’s your side.
    3
  315. It's QAnon, Mr. Flynn. The whole premise is overthinking.
    3
  316. It’s not confirmed that all of those 145 people were in the building when it collapsed. I’m not sure why they wouldn’t reveal their status if they weren’t, but it’s not our place to just assume they were all in the danger zone.
    3
  317. Remind me again what Merrick Garland's qualifications for the job were.
    3
  318. What’s that based on? Your dislike of them?
    3
  319. I don't mind a few jokes on the side, but... come on. It just becomes cringe for those of us who already realize it's ridiculous and wrong.
    3
  320. “You can’t make this stuff up!” Well, apparently you can.
    3
  321. I got four hours of sleep after working on a college project overnight. The next day, I was just barely staying awake during the class where I had to present it. That's well below a twenty-hour work day.
    3
  322. So what did it mean before Biden became president?
    3
  323. The problem with trying to play both sides... is that you lose twice over if you get caught.
    3
  324. "Until Pearl showed up with a single rose, Who says women can't propose?" -The Tale of Mr. Morton, Schoolhouse Rock.
    3
  325. If you want to defend your stance with a rule, regulation, statute, passage, or similar set of words, either read it beforehand or have it in front of you. Otherwise, you give the impression that it never existed before you started talking.
    3
  326. We are. He’s doing so much of it himself.
    3
  327. I know Elon Musk isn’t trying to destroy Twitter on purpose… because nobody tries to destroy anything they bought for more than double it’s actual value. He’s just managing it that badly.
    3
  328. With all due respect, you’re wasting your time. Not only does this footage show how cowardly or indifferent the local police were… the agents who actually took down the shooter said they were ordered by local police to stand down… an order they chose to disobey half an hour later.
    3
  329. Yes. Because unless they take pictures, what a man does in their own bathroom is frankly none of our business.
    3
  330. As petty as their case sounds... I think I'm on the side of the newlyweds. Unless it can be proven that they forced guests to RSVP, or lied about them having to pay if they did... it's on the guests themselves for saying they'd come when they didn't intend to. RSVPs aren't the sort of thing you should do on a whim anyway.
    3
  331. Or… she lives in a blue state, and realizes the massive benefits she and her colleagues reap from doing business there.
    3
  332. You’re right, there’s no way they’re that tone deaf. Because they aren’t.
    3
  333. If anything, getting tackled to the ground is the reason he was resisting. Really, who among us wouldn't struggle like that after a sudden tackle from behind?
    3
  334. The difference being, of course, that he could at least entertain them.
    3
  335. Maybe, but that wouldn’t have helped his social anxiety.
    3
  336. Yikes. I thought myself a hedonist for the past two months… glad to know I’m an amateur.
    3
  337. "A lot has changed. In three years, Fox News went from calling me a monster for making fun of Congressman Dan Crenshaw's eyepatch... to also making fun on Dan Crenshaw's eyepatch." -Pete Davidson
    3
  338. Is it possible that this lawmaker never graduated from high school?
    3
  339. #penetrated
    3
  340. Then don’t get circumcised yourself. How hard is it to not stick your nose into other people’s personal lives?
    3
  341. They do… when the police aren’t arresting them.
    3
  342. 0:51 Because, ironically, their patients are getting more and more numerous.
    3
  343. Judging from the comment section of this video… apparently.
    3
  344. You do realize legislation was passed making it illegal for anyone in a school to be made guilty on account of their race… right?
    3
  345. Walker, Taxes Evader
    3
  346. 0:14 What zealots. They cheer when Donald Trump pulls a grocery store checkout purchase from his pocket. I’d only do that for a comedian who really sets up the joke. Meanwhile, Trump hypes them up by saying he “only used it once”.
    3
  347. Whenever anyone pulls up that excuse, remind them that the whole expression is "A few bad apples spoil the barrel". Ergo, condoning a few bad apples will give their decay more time to spread.
    3
  348. Okay. So why are you here?
    3
  349. A fitting statement from the Reefer Madness doctor.
    3
  350. No they didn’t. Racism existed a long time before America was founded. Shakespeare wrote “Othello” in 1603, and “The Merchant of Venice” as late as 1599. Both have racist elements to them.
    3
  351. Trump didn’t win by gaining more support… at least, not a notable amount. He won because millions of people who voted for Biden in 2020 simply chose to sit this election out. I want to be madder at them for thinking the Democrats wouldn’t be much different… but I can’t. Because the Democrats barely tried to give that impression.
    3
  352. He’s not asking them to be perfect. He’s asking them to commit to progressive promises they make, things like paid family leave and low housing prices that a lot of Americans want. He’s mad because whenever they do, it’s not long before they put it down or chicken out.
    3
  353. "Where are you finding the time to go out and protest... at the wrong school! It's the wrong school!"
    3
  354. My thoughts exactly. If I didn’t already know Jaguar was a brand of car, this commercial would give me the wrong impression.
    3
  355. We only think about it because of accusations like yours. Unless it’s really noisy, most of us couldn’t care less what anyone else does in a bathroom stall.
    2
  356. How many have, though? I’d be more convinced if the people grandstanding about this put forward names and cases instead of just dwelling on the potential.
    2
  357. It’s like Ana says in the video. Separate, private stalls. If that’s the only place you take off your pants, I don’t care what you’ve got underneath.
    2
  358. 0:12 "What? Oh, they're booing Melania. Never mind."
    2
  359. With all due respect, Anderson... you’re being unfair to refrigerator magnets.
    2
  360. Question: Why does Giuliani have an NBC reporter's number on speed dial?
    2
  361.  Black Queen  Hold on, why were they denied?
    2
  362. *cut to Russell Howard screaming his head off*
    2
  363. Oh, you mean like Herb Welch?
    2
  364. "Okay, come on. Herb, come on. Pull it together, buddy!" "YOU SON OF A BITCH!"
    2
  365. Because he needs help finding himself. Lots of help.
    2
  366. 0:54 1:37
    2
  367. “Don’t get started with that ‘red zone, white zone’ shit with me.”
    2
  368. Remember that Facebook shutdown from a while back? 0:31
    2
  369. Mock the Week.
    2
  370. This just in: Jack Whitehall will be starring in a documentary about red dogs. Big red dogs.
    2
  371. You’ll have to be more specific.
    2
  372. “But if it wasn’t for DNA, we wouldn’t have caught these priests.”
    2
  373. 2:03 It's worth noting that in America, "pissed" is slang for "angry".
    2
  374. This just in: Our product has consumed a customer.
    2
  375. Of course, it only really worked at the given time.
    2
  376. Yep. He comes from Canadia.
    2
  377. Ed took it and improved it.
    2
  378. “…And it turns out that they have the same brand of bedsheets that we do…”
    2
  379. Can someone explain 1:32?
    2
  380. 3:06 Can someone explain?
    2
  381. By the same people who did Whose Line, to boot.
    2
  382. Which two?
    2
  383. 2:23 At just the right angle, the microphone can simulate that same misprint on the background.
    2
  384. 1:26 A common gag with zefrank1.
    2
  385. What ADH... ooh, a butterfly!
    2
  386. 1:35 He almost made me do the same thing.
    2
  387. What made you think he was trying?
    2
  388. Mind explaining?
    2
  389. 0:27 And it’s only gotten worse from there.
    2
  390. You do realize Frankie left of his own volition, right? He wouldn’t want to come back.
    2
  391. 3:06
    2
  392. So you definitely wouldn’t hear that in a travel documentary.
    2
  393. Could someone explain 2:09?
    2
  394. It’s the exact same tone of voice he uses for “Cooking While Pissed”. Which took me a while to get, because I’m used to “pissed” meaning “angry”.
    2
  395. Well, those three shows were spin-offs of Cooking While Pissed.
    2
  396. But not as the continuity announcer. He’d ruin all the plot twists.
    2
  397.  @jennyjohn704  Oh, if only…
    2
  398. For me, it was 1:43
    2
  399. 0:57 or 1:06?
    2
  400. Though if it’s on a paper form, it would actually be Wite-Out.
    2
  401. Is it just that he doesn’t know his daughter’s eye color? Or is there something else?
    2
  402. It’s either SPD or Mystic Force. No other team had all four of those colors at the same time.
    2
  403. He’s still alive, you know.
    2
  404. It was carried over from the previous topic. One of his jokes was “I am the returning officer. It’s great to be back!” Another one of his jokes for the same topic was “I am the returning officer…”
    2
  405. To let players know their joke has gone on long enough.
    2
  406. Please explain.
    2
  407.  @MxRelli No, no, I get it now. Thought it was a contemporary British superstar, not the host.
    2
  408. Because train stations are a common place to heart annoy announcements. Edit: Sorry, hear tannoy announcements.
    2
  409. I think another segment had a joke like that: “Would the boy with the owl please stop trying to run between platforms 9 and 10?”
    2
  410. Andy could’ve pretended to skip rope. Just saying.
    2
  411. "Hi, we'll return you to Bertha the Dyslexic Ephelant in just a second."
    2
  412.  @Itsandy22  Ohhhhhh.... okay. I thought “My Hymen” some sort of British celebrity.
    2
  413. Then you’re not aiming well enough.
    2
  414. I’ve heard a similar joke about a nudist colony.
    2
  415. Eh… that’s low-hanging fruit.
    2
  416. *Byrne
    2
  417. "You still gotta go to work."
    2
  418. Why not?
    2
  419. We’re all gonna miss Sgt. Boyle.
    2
  420. At least Freddy doesn’t have opposable thumbs. Much harder for him hold a knife.
    2
  421. “Is it an illusion of our perception? A mental construct to… what? I thought we were here to question time.”
    2
  422. “I am almost certain… that was a floating voter.”
    2
  423.  Al-zein Kusmantoro  What is a floating voter?
    2
  424. Life Hack: Watch something like this any time you need to blow your nose. My sinuses cleared right up at 2:54.
    2
  425. “Batman Biggins”. Hobbit character, I guess.
    2
  426. As did all 18 billion of the virgins.
    2
  427. “Welcome to Love Island.”
    2
  428. Hmm… pretty good.
    2
  429. A better anagram would’ve been “ROAD BRAIN AI”
    2
  430. That's funny, seeing as Hugh Dennis has greater knack for those kinds of jokes.
    2
  431. Yeah, discus. It’s the round thing they throw in the Olympics.
    2
  432. “I am Thor. But onthe I put thome cream on, I thould feel muth better.”
    2
  433. That's a different one.
    2
  434. F) Yes
    2
  435. Eight.
    2
  436.  @reubenroper6231  Probably should've been Holly Walsh. I don't think she did any.
    2
  437. “What is amnesia?”
    2
  438. Same people came up with both shows.
    2
  439. 1:45 Did anyone else think of Rita Repulsa?
    2
  440. “Not as pissed as I was when I said YES!”
    2
  441. 0:58
    2
  442. Only if they dedicated their lives to disproving it.
    2
  443. C) I hate writing these speeches.
    2
  444. Today it would be “Where is Piers Morgan?”
    2
  445. Russell Howard has a great penchant for following up the jokes of others.
    2
  446. That opening clip is my absolute favorite in the series.
    2
  447. Works better with pitcher plants, mate.
    2
  448. After what he did to Andy Parsons? I think they were all wary.
    2
  449. A smear test is for a woman's genitals. The dentist thought it was her mouth.
    2
  450. I think it was a subversion of the "two-thirty" joke.
    2
  451. Subverting the usual dental joke about two-thirty.
    2
  452. I guess it’s strange to imagine someone showing that off before checking that it was the right place.
    2
  453. It only really works the first time.
    2
  454. Yeah... although I've heard of a horror film about someone who does have teeth down there.
    2
  455. Subverting the usual dental joke about two-thirty.
    2
  456. Subverting the usual dental joke about two-thirty.
    2
  457. No need to improve on perfection, I guess.
    2
  458. Maybe he was?
    2
  459. “Step 35: Skip steps 1-34 and watch the included instructional video.”
    2
  460. “Later on we’ll be talking about premature ejac- oh no.”
    2
  461. 1:02
    2
  462. I think he gave the other team points just to spite Josh.
    2
  463. “Up next, how to bake a cake using only sugar, milk, eggs... and a human SOUL.”
    2
  464. Only as a finisher, though.
    2
  465.  @vrlandt  As of right now, only 19 results under Pingu. And none of them feature aliens.
    2
  466. It’s honestly a role I’ve seen Russell Howard take more often.
    2
  467. What was the reason while she was still alive?
    2
  468. 1:19
    2
  469. Remind me, which one was Sean Walsh?
    2
  470. The person who said the actual quote was dead serious. The joke is the tone juxtaposition.
    2
  471. The exaggerated tone, probably.
    2
  472. 1:14 Rain Man: Qantas never crashed.
    2
  473. “Hello, I’m really sorry we didn’t get in this year…”
    2
  474. 1:29 That one made me laugh out loud. And I don’t know who he’s talking about.
    2
  475. My name's Dave, like the TV channel and i repeat the same old shit over and over again!
    2
  476. 0:21 2:31
    2
  477. 1:47
    2
  478. Yeah, some people have trouble keeping their… heart rate up.
    2
  479. Care to explain?
    2
  480. The one at 1:14 deserves more credit.
    2
  481. It’s also Frankie’s last punch line on Scenes We’d Like to See. What a way to finish, eh?
    2
  482. Yes. This was his last episode.
    2
  483. 1:15
    2
  484. Yeah, he could have… but this was his last show. He wanted to go out with a bang.
    2
  485. Ever had trouble getting something to print from your office printer? Maybe the connection doesn’t go through, maybe it says “out of paper” when there’s actually plenty of paper, that sort of thing. He’s supposedly venting that kind of frustration.
    2
  486. 2:20
    2
  487. Wait, what? That's how people in Britain pronounce "geyser"? I never would've figured that out on my own.
    2
  488. For those of us who don’t live in Britain, why Jimmy Carr?
    2
  489. “What did I do last night?”
    2
  490. 2:04 Which two brothers?
    2
  491. Ah, homophones.
    2
  492. He’s a British Colin Mochrie.
    2
  493. I'll say. "Welcome to the Bakery" might be his version of "The Cat!"
    2
  494. Putting it in a fishtank still wouldn’t be a good idea.
    2
  495. 0:54 Explain please.
    2
  496. Answer: All of them.
    2
  497. 2:51 All right. Credit where it’s due.
    2
  498. Did you expect him to end his speech by saying “That is how a human do”?
    2
  499. I was just there.
    2
  500. Anyone else come from Trevor Noah’s latest skit?
    2
  501. I'm reminded of something I heard a comedian (whose name I can't remember) say about Sarah Palin. Apparently, she's beloved by the Republican party for fitting their "dumb woman" stereotype, someone to cast as both a true patriot and a comforting presence for the "only men should do the important stuff" crowd. I'm not sure how true that is; I've only been following major politics since 2015... but that honestly looks like what's going on here.
    2
  502. Autism spectrum. People on it tend to have trouble with social interactions.
    2
  503. As a general rule, if you say or do something that you think only an idiot would take seriously... you will find that idiot shortly.
    2
  504. Of course not. We’re not saying Joe Biden was squeaky clean. We’re just saying this case against him is a conclusion in search of evidence. That’s not how investigations work.
    2
  505. I'm not. It was never really about supporting the troops. It was about spiting the people those troops were attacking.
    2
  506. It says a lot about you that you're focused on that aspect of the story. Not even the fact that five people died. or that this guy prevented it from being more.
    2
  507. They're not. Eat your turkey dry and savory.
    2
  508. I'm not saying that wouldn't work, but... you heard this guy. He felt such guilt over beating that gunman to the extent he did. He'd push back against someone else even offering.
    2
  509. I don’t think the blocks of Stonehenge had anything written on them.
    2
  510. See John Oliver’s piece about “Rocks”. He made it a month or two before the monument in question was bombed.
    2
  511. You can look it up if you don't believe it. Unless you think the Internet is part of the Deep State.
    2
  512. Just admit you wouldn't believe it if we did present it.
    2
  513. He doesn’t want you to think about that.
    2
  514. Reminds me of a bit Jim Jeffries did in 2018. “All you patriots who seem to love this country so much, you also hate immigrants. If you don’t want them to come here, stop telling them it’s so [bleep]ing good!”
    2
  515. Because humans make mistakes. You didn’t overlook the point of the story because of that, did you?
    2
  516. 3:16 That made me laugh out loud.
    2
  517.  @summerbrewster5555  Yeah, that sounds closer to the truth. Here's a headline that shaped my perspective of the tragedy: Federal agents entered Uvalde school to kill gunman despite local police initially asking them to wait.
    2
  518. Well… not all of them. This headline shaped my perspective of the tragedy: Federal agents entered Uvalde school to kill gunman despite local police initially asking them to wait
    2
  519. Well... I might have a good excuse for some of them. Headline from May 27th: Federal agents entered Uvalde school to kill gunman despite local police initially asking them to wait.
    2
  520. EXACTLY. Not all of those cops were cowards, a lot of them were just told not to do anything. And the reason why still eludes us.
    2
  521. @Yvette Noble That’s what I thought at first… but then I read this headline: Federal agents entered Uvalde school to kill gunman despite local police initially asking them to wait Maybe a lot of those officers and agents were ready to help, and only waited because local Uvalda police told them to. I could forgive some of them for that.
    2
  522. I might have a valid excuse for some of them. Headline from three days after the attack: Federal agents entered Uvalde school to kill gunman despite local police initially asking them to wait
    2
  523. While I don't agree with a word that guy said... there are senators and governers that I'd love to address like that.
    2
  524. As an American male who never really cared about the length down there, neither do I.
    2
  525. Ray Romano should sue him for copyright infringement.
    2
  526. It was actually Rutherford B. Hayes… but apart from that, credit where it’s due, that man did his research. What point was he trying to make? I think he’s suspicious that Biden isn’t already campaigning for a second term the way Trump was… but your guess is as good as mine.
    2
  527. The kind of people who say “Jesus is the King” are frankly the ones who should let Him judge those gays, lesbians and transgenders that bother them so much. Not take action themselves.
    2
  528. Still, credit where it’s due, that’s a lot more research than most other Trump supporters do.
    2
  529. The people pushing it know the irony. They have to make sure their target audience doesn’t.
    2
  530. Maybe because it didn’t happen? Feel free to prove me wrong, Donal.
    2
  531. Reminds me of that one funny moment in the game LISA: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rN99t0fAoNw
    2
  532. Not a terrible idea. At least then the number of occupants would be closer to the number of bathrooms.
    2
  533. I was gonna suggest making it a hotel, but your idea sounds better.
    2
  534. My thoughts exactly. A house shouldn’t have more bedrooms and bathrooms than people who could feasibly use one of each.
    2
  535. He thought he could. Because super-rich men like him are insulated from all the indicators that wanting to do something doesn’t always make it plausible.
    2
  536. Darn it, Fetterman! You seemed better than this.
    2
  537. They do it because a lot of people are influenced by what he says… and a great amount of what he says is divorced from reality.
    2
  538. Okay, that's fine. Just know that what Farron said about "comorbidity" isn't an exaggeration.
    2
  539. You do realize this virus comes in waves, right? And the lull in between waves can give viruses enough time to evolve beyond the protection of current vaccines.
    2
  540. You realize you're proving his point, right?
    2
  541. They said it themselves, they're nuanced. They try to be fair. People on "their side" will still be judged if they say or do outrageous things... but those who don't will be treated with extra civility. Heck, Cenk was willing to sing the praises of the article this guy wrote... but he was just as upfront about his critique of it.
    2
  542. That's because the outlandish things MTG often have worrying implications worth talking about. And you don't really need them to tell you they're outlandish.
    2
  543. Huh. Right after commenting on why Spamton says "Hyperlink Blocked", this video pops up in my feed.
    2
  544. Not even anything recent, either. Just because he chose to wear pink.
    2
  545. 6:07 Wait, they actually show him that view?
    2
  546. Before or after they’re born? That’s an important distinction.
    2
  547. I didn’t even notice the guy had hives.
    2
  548. Pro-life, my weighty ass.
    2
  549. “Congressman Duncan told me to educate myself on the topic. So Congressman, I hope you pay attention to this PowerPoint I put together last night…”
    2
  550. Well, she's not. Sorry if you live in Vienna and expected to see her there.
    2
  551. It's in Austria, so I doubt it.
    2
  552. Essentially the plot of "Measure for Measure" by William Shakespeare. I had to read it for class.
    2
  553. Frankly, all of these bribes are unfair to the people who already got them. But these are desperate times.
    2
  554. I bet someone did. And they got laughed off or fired.
    2
  555. “It’s getting dark”, he says while it barely looks like the sun is setting.
    2
  556.  @russellward4624  When, as TYT point out, there's a black conservative Supreme Court justice, a black conservative Senator and even a black conservative pundit they could've used instead. That's the big issue here: Not even NewsMax can be bothered to remember enough black conservatives.
    2
  557. "Well, we couldn't find a black conservative pundit, so we had to... what's that... right, okay, that was supposed to be a picture of Candace Owens..."
    2
  558. Exactly! They even said it during the video!
    2
  559.  @defpally2954  And TYT themselves listed conservative black people they could've used. They even listed Candace Owens as a better pundit to use than Ben Shapiro.
    2
  560. 9:11 If he genuinely was, I’d read it.
    2
  561. Yes, we’re aware that Merrick Garland has a job that warrants secrecy. And I know Trump is one of many people whose cases he’d have to prioritize. Each case is like a separate jigsaw puzzle… but because Trump is incredibly vocal, his cases have all the border pieces neatly arranged. And surely he’d announce if he’d finished one…. so how could twenty-two months of spare time not be enough? Seriously, how? I’m open to hearing the answer if you know it.
    2
  562. Hell if he knows. Or cares.
    2
  563. Well, you only “send them to heaven early” at the cost of going to hell. Not an exchange most would make.
    2
  564. Another one of those “What does racism look like?” moments.
    2
  565. Well, after the first time it happens, they gotta test it again to see if that was just a fluke.
    2
  566. I guess when there’s no bomb strapped to your own head, you don’t have to worry about the efficiency of ideas like that.
    2
  567. Leave Faucci out of this.
    2
  568. For someone who doesn’t think TYT is worth watching… you must’ve spent a long time writing that comment under one of their videos.
    2
  569. I would never have said that about Biden if the roles were reversed. I’d be gripping my hair in frustration and shouting “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” For reasons I really shouldn’t have to explain, I still am.
    2
  570. Kudlow in 2005: The housing markets will stand strong! ( https://youtu.be/YY6p8B4IR24?t=207 )
    2
  571. Same guy who predicted that housing markets would stand strong in 2005, and denied that there was a recession in 2007... right as it was starting.
    2
  572. He actually said it in 2007, denying the recession right as it was beginning. That came two years after interrupting another economist with his prediction that housing markets wouldn't collapse.
    2
  573. "You Unicorn Frappucino of a man". Pure gold.
    2
  574. They found him freezing in an isolated tent three days after he was supposed to return to his home country. Why subject yourself to that if you’re “in on it”?
    2
  575. Might’ve shifted the Republican stance on gun violence, at least. They have a habit of taking the humane side of an issue once they’re personally affected.
    2
  576. I wouldn't call it creepy... but definitely not worth the thousand-dollar price tag.
    2
  577. Well, it's more about cops displaying their apathy to the captain. For all we know, they could've been doing it for several weeks prior to the robbery.
    2
  578. You mean “What are his positions?” I’m sorry, I had to.
    2
  579. I heard about him on SNL last week. There’s something to be said about having clear positions.
    2
  580. Or maybe they respect her upfront honestly about wanting to punish others. The board members have to be more subtle about it.
    2
  581. You’re really going to attack a political label to this?
    2
  582. Honesty, I give her an ounce of respect for being upfront about her desire to punish others. It’s more than I can say for… at least two members of that council.
    2
  583. Just curious, what did you do after finding out?
    2
  584. Yeah. And unlike the city council, they’re upfront about their desire to punish people.
    2
  585. “Why can’t we be that upfront about wanting to punish others?”
    2
  586. Well, there you go. You could believably say you need the money, and feel no need to insist on an ethereal moral standard.
    2
  587. We do place judgement on all landlords. It’s just that Christian landlords hold themselves to the standards of “Thou shalt not steal” and “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house”. So it’s especially suspicious when they have to justify similar-looking actions.
    2
  588. Broadly speaking, if you have to explain why something you’ve done doesn’t make you a bad Christian… then it does.
    2
  589. Well, it shouldn’t be. Broadly speaking, if you have to explain how something doesn’t disqualify you from being a good Christian… then it does.
    2
  590. Who were his “tenants”? As best I can tell, Jesus didn’t run an apartment building. Heck, his parents were turned away from an inn just before he was born. Why would anyone revere him if he didn’t sympathize with evicted tenants?
    2
  591. “I have no idea why America is so polarized. Now let me ask a polarizing question.” Look, I’m not denying that what any of those Democrats did was bad. But if you looked for examples of that behavior among Republicans, you’d find a lot more of them. Especially the ones who preach about the sexual potency of being gay or transgender or whatever else.
    2
  592. Talk about putting windows in the bathroom stalls they use, and see how logical their argument against that would be.
    2
  593. Must be some interesting shit if you took the time to comment on it.
    2
  594. = Truthful Debate System?
    2
  595. No, it's sociopathic. He wanted the attention, and he didn't care if they got sick because of him. Heck, he's trying to claim that they got him sick.
    2
  596. I can actually understand that decline in mental health. They'd be thankful to have the money and start rebuilding their lives with it... but worry about their dependence on it, and how self-sufficient they'd be if it arbitrarily stopped.
    2
  597. …where is this coming from?
    2
  598. In related news, the author of "Artist Renderings of Muhammad" says he's feeling optimistic about Muslim reception.
    2
  599. I don’t really take a side here. It’s just nice to see two hosts debating something non-political.
    2
  600. If you understand Trump, then by all means, enlighten us.
    2
  601. Images of Mohammad’s likeness are considered sacrilege. There’d be a bigger uproar about their existence than their burning.
    2
  602. Ralsei?
    2
  603. Now now, let's not get disrespectful. Whether they want to entertain children or eat them, clowns have a set agenda.
    2
  604. Ah yes… I think Bill O’ Reilly’s show was “To Catch Up With a Predator”.
    2
  605. Well, yeah. Now that the repercussions are less severe.
    2
  606.  @nunyabidness1852  It’s easy to say “A rising tide lifts all boats” when you own a yacht.
    2
  607. Can we all spare a thought for the doctor(s) who performed that colonoscopy? Pretty sure that's enough of a challenge when the patient isn't screaming in pain.
    2
  608. You’re on YouTube. Not entirely clean yourself.
    2
  609. Maybe they missed with the exact amounts… but they didn’t miss on the overall point. It was more people, but because it was more poor people, most of us are learning about it here.
    2
  610. That’s easier to tell a wealthy man than a migrant desperate for a better life. Desperation will make you do surprising, logic-defying things.
    2
  611. Well, we want to care about the migrants. That starts with knowing about their situation. Cenk is right - both cases were tragic, and both cases should’ve gotten proper coverage. We’re mostly indifferent about the billionaires because they got the coverage, and it still wasn’t enough.
    2
  612. 3:45 Was that the episode where Al punched two guys ogling over a picture of Peggy?
    2
  613. Well, them and people who just want to be angry. I have to assume that’s part of it.
    2
  614. I’d say “guilty”, if only because he claimed he would return the money twice before leaving. That could count against him if they ever find him. If you make no promises, then it’s solely the company’s fault for overpaying you.
    2
  615. Me too. Although unlike Office Space, this wasn’t a bad thing for the party getting paid.
    2
  616. Yeah... because it's not being classified as a crime.
    2
  617. Or better yet, if the money for the settlement comes out of their retirement fund.
    2
  618. This is why I will never steal anything… larger than a bike.
    2
  619. You’re saying both of those things can’t be true at the same time?
    2
  620. Maybe the military as well? I'd think a lot more money is going to them than necessary.
    2
  621. If it is, I have no idea what she thinks she could’ve gotten out of it.
    2
  622. I looked him up on Wikipedia. Apparently, he’s the record holder for fastest 200-meter run in Poland. And while the gold medalist was much faster than his time, the silver medalist was just one centisecond faster.
    2
  623. Nope.
    2
  624. His Wikipedia page might offer another crucial detail. Right in the first paragraph: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcin_Urbaś
    2
  625. In some cases, that’s true. But a lot of the time, parents are skipping over the administrators altogether. Straight to the juggernaut option.
    2
  626. Yeah, it’s supposed to melt in your mouth.
    2
  627. Except outright racists. They seem awfully touchy about that.
    2
  628. It’s something I call “The Wheatley Principle”.
    2
  629. Shana Blackwell would be proud.
    2
  630. They do it to project. Disgusting.
    2
  631. My sympathies.
    2
  632. Well, TYT wasn’t exactly looking for her. She got fired from her position at MSNBC, most likely for challenging a corporate media narrative that kowtows to the likes of Fox News. And that’s such a rarity that they’re saying “If you’re interested, we’ll have you.”
    2
  633. He has moved on. He’s got this channel now, and doesn’t mention his time on MSNBC every chance he gets. I’ve followed TYT for months, and this might only be the second time I’ve heard him mention it.
    2
  634. Can’t comment on that… but it seems she commented on a lot of things that chipped away at the mask of corporate media. And the corporate media tries to stamp stuff like that out quickly.
    2
  635. Well, we don’t think they are. I guess her former employers are all too familiar with that taste.
    2
  636. "Not to mention the fact that the bill is poorly written-" "IT'S POORLY READ, TOO!!" Fowler is a bigger man than me for keeping his composure after that.
    2
  637. 10:13 Don't apologize, Ana. It had to be said, and said loudly enough to jolt us out of our numbness.
    2
  638. “I’ve seen a gun five times in my life. Three of them were at a Waffle House.” -Jim Gaffigan (paraphrased)
    2
  639. Well of course Kye was resisting. Who among us wouldn't resist after a sudden tackle from behind? I have no respect for cops who use their victims' instinctual resistance as an alibi.
    2
  640. Only if you do it in Harley Quinn’s voice.
    2
  641. Speaking as someone who actually has autism, and realizes the importance of being polite to people when I need their help… hands off.
    2
  642. It never ceases to amaze me how so many people can get so angry… over nothing. Like… if it wasn’t a matter of perceived wokeness, who would even care?
    2
  643. “Y-you weren’t supposed to do it to me!”
    2
  644. If you don’t like the idea, then take it with a grain of salt. Back in college, I’ve passed a few Christian speakers to and from classes. One time I stopped to ask the guy (whose crowd had dispersed) why exactly God hates gays and lesbians, as it said on his sign, and “Is it mentioned in a Bible verse? I’ve never heard anyone cite a verse.” What he said didn’t change my mind, but he deserved to think he had a chance.
    2
  645. None of that makes it less inhumane. They’re people. Most of them were treated inhumanely by the countries they fled from. Even without the razor wire and the guards, our backed-up citizenship procession ensures the “bad ones” wouldn’t get in anyway. I think a lot of people flat-out don’t know that.
    2
  646. Yep. There’s a bit of moral myopia, I know.
    2
  647. 1:18
    2
  648. They’re both the same movie, but 1994 is better animated.
    2
  649. And I’d like to thank you for keeping it as simple as it needed to be.
    2
  650. You just answered your own question. They’re not pro-humanitarian.
    2
  651. 4:05 See "Shadow Ball" and "Dark Pulse" from the Pokémon franchise.
    2
  652. All this talk about a Batman-esque weapon... and I'm just reminded of how Arthur Fleck descended into madness. It's starting to look really similar.
    2
  653. The prospect of high wages, I guess. Or at the very least, thinking the perpetrators would actually get punished.
    2
  654. It’s always the height of hubris when someone lumps together two unrelated things they don’t like.
    2
  655. I can. Look up “moral myopia”
    2
  656. Even if they are complicit, at least they're reporting on it. Corporate corruption is the last thing you'll hear about on anything that qualifies as corporate media... but here, nothing stops them from being upfront about it.
    2
  657. It’s not just about supporting Trump or being a hardline conservative. It’s about wearing those passions and viewpoints on your sleeve, groaning whenever someone asks you to dial it back. I’m not saying there aren’t conservatives who can rein in their ambitions for the sake of a liberal partner. I’m saying those kinds of people are rare.
    2
  658. Because it’s really not about running for president again. Even if he thinks he has a chance, it was always more about the facade. Just the notion of his presidential campaign is a strive for attention… and legal defense, but Trump doesn’t care half as much about that.
    2
  659. 2:55 Was he trying to look like the doctor from "Reefer Madness"?
    2
  660. The one accomplishment in his term was a tax cut to the rich. I’m not even joking.
    2
  661. Josh Hawley isn’t a count.
    2
  662. That’s what I call a “fair-weather tough guy”.
    2
  663. A fair-weather tough guy.
    2
  664.  @kushweiser No, they didn’t. Trump has about the same amount of support that he did in 2020. He won because about 15,000,000 people who voted for Biden in 2020 chose to sit this election out. Because the Democratic side didn’t do enough to present themselves as a better alternative.
    2
  665. No, it’s quite easy. The hard part is admitting you’ve been proven stupid. A lot of people just double down on their false statement.
    2
  666. I should note that, according to Wikipedia, Chris Wallace is a Democrat.
    2
  667. While it is true that California has more COVID-19 deaths than Texas (At the moment, 70,300 to 68,245), it has a lower per-capita COVID-19 death rate (178 to 235). California just had more people to being with. Don't take it personally, Fort. It's not slander of everyone in Texas, just those who don't recognize this ridiculousness as you and your company seem to.
    2
  668. I mean... what else were they gonna do with them?
    2
  669. The kid is still alive.
    2
  670. Queen of Hearts much?
    2
  671. It’s a great setup, but… is he talking about a crime?
    2
  672.  @rmism8248 Y’know, Mace herself supported trans rights in 2016.
    1
  673. If they’re really young, the woman’s room. Once they’re old enough to pee and poop independently, the men’s room.
    1
  674. And yet there are people who want this guy to be president? I don't understand anything anymore.
    1
  675. I'm glad he acknowledges that time is a non-sequitur here. Any iteration of "It's not a problem now, and it won't be for a long time" rubs me the wrong way, because that's essentially passing the buck. If you don't expect to be alive when the deadline comes, you'll be less engaged in the details of a proper solution, and more assumptive that others will handle it. Even if you do expect to live that long, stating as much will make you seem complacent, and put a greater strain on your future self. It doesn't matter how far apart a future date is from the present; They're both notches on the same line of time.
    1
  676. In case anyone’s curious, here are the names of the Disinformation (Baker’s) Dozen: • Joseph Mercola • Robert F. Kennedy Jr. • Ty & Charlene Bollinger • Sherry Tenpenny • Christiane Northrup • Sayer Ji • Kelly Brogan • Ben Tapper • Rashid Buttar • Rizza Islam • Kevin Jenkins
    1
  677. Okay, here's Donald Trump's entire campaign in a nutshell: "What do you mean I have a problem? I don't have a problem! Clinton has a problem! And Clinton's problem is a hundred times bigger than any problem I could ever have! Which I don't, by the way."
    1
  678. "For too long, African-American votes have been taken for granted by Democratic politicians..." For your information, Pastor, Barack Obama is African-American, Democratic, and has almost completed his second term as president. I don't think you have the right to say that anymore.
    1
  679. You're right. Why isn't he starting his presidential bid right now?
    1
  680.  @Mike-hr6jz  What? Oh! Oh…. It’s spelled “traitor”.
    1
  681. Huh. So... what does Mitt Romney trade?
    1
  682. I remember Mitt Romney once saying in an interview that "The worst thing that happened to me politically was losing the presidency in 2012". He knows the crowd didn't want him there, but believe me, it didn't intimidate him.
    1
  683. He had bone spurs in his arm.
    1
  684. Now here’s the kind of guy America needs. Serious about the important issues, supportive of the less fortunate getting a chance... but not above a few jokes about his image online.
    1
  685. +DrScaphandre Guilty😄
    1
  686. See, that's it right there. Barrack Obama could've gone to town on Donald Drumpf, but despite it being a comedy show that already hated the guy, he kept his professional tone. Drumpf himself does not strike me as professional by any sense of the term. He'd start a war within seconds of meeting another world leader.
    1
  687. I'm just curious, why is there a range to his jail time? What would that depend on?
    1
  688. And right before his shift at Santa’s workshop.
    1
  689. Adrian Caraballo I don’t have to agree with his policies to think he had likable qualities.
    1
  690. And with that… I can cleanly say there’s nothing trustworthy about Fox News.
    1
  691. I've seen George Carlin show more tact than this.
    1
  692. Is it a coincidence that the numbers for Republican approval of high education have gone down? No. It's not.
    1
  693.  @meheretoday6968  Not the vast majority of them.
    1
  694. I hope enough Kurds are aware that it was President Drumpf, not the vast majority of American people, that called for this withdrawal.
    1
  695. I’m not sure if I should be glad one of Trump’s allies is jumping ship, or worried that the White House is getting emptier.
    1
  696. Sure... but he was knowingly part of a violent movement. Kinda like this guy: https://youtu.be/KHw20R5y9Ww?t=42
    1
  697. Cats will do it with their tails. Dogs will do it with their whole faces... if not their whole bodies.
    1
  698. Mr. Drumpf? I'd like to remind you that people have Internet access. On their phones! They can look up whatever you say in public, and determine within an hour whether or not it's true. Based on your last few public speeches, you seem to be forgetting that fact.
    1
  699. You're gonna build a wall? Tell me Trumpy, is this before or after watching "Pacific Rim"?
    1
  700. Boog? Is that you?
    1
  701. Well, SNL was inspired by it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4jVLHrAXVo
    1
  702. For more of the same: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4jVLHrAXVo
    1
  703. The reporter is Dick Oliver, the anchor is Jim Ryan.
    1
  704. Saturday Night Live, that's who. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4jVLHrAXVo)
    1
  705. "And we're just getting word that our own Herb Welch died five seconds ago."
    1
  706. They said this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4jVLHrAXVo
    1
  707. Yes.
    1
  708. No, this was the inspiration for Herb Welch.
    1
  709. Herb Welch was actually inspired by this.
    1
  710. "I'm not gonna take reporter lessons from a can of hairspray."
    1
  711. Why not, you ask? Two reasons. 1. His idea of strength is not taking any precautions, even if they're more for the safety of onlookers than for himself. 2. His strategy literally boils down to cutting off Joe Biden and the moderator, it's harder to do that in a virtual debate.
    1
  712. Though oddly, the British still call his evil twin “Odlaw”.
    1
  713. That’s an odd acronym for our former president.
    1
  714. “Welcome to your first session of Freudian analysis. What seems to be the penis?”
    1
  715. Me neither.
    1
  716. He stopped making that joke a while before this episode.
    1
  717. (1:31)
    1
  718. 1:17
    1
  719. 2:03
    1
  720. Both made by the same people.
    1
  721. Why don’t you ever visit us?
    1
  722. I could debate: 1:21
    1
  723. "The suspect, who goes under the nickname 'Disco Devil', has also been charged with forty accounts of defacing private property. Witnesses were unable to elaborate further, since their heads were the private property in question."
    1
  724. That first one.
    1
  725. MC is short for “master of ceremonies”, usually conflated with the role of DJ, or “disk jockey”.
    1
  726. 1:11
    1
  727. 1:05 Can someone explain?
    1
  728. Would you mind explaining it to me?
    1
  729. *chirp chirp* *chirp chirp*
    1
  730. What’s the story with “Mr. Barrymore”?
    1
  731. For a second, I thought you meant the guy standing next to Andy Parsons.
    1
  732. Wrong one.
    1
  733. Look up “pebble dash”. It has a regular definition and an “Urban Dictionary” definition.
    1
  734. Then watch his more recent stand-up. He’s not coming back here.
    1
  735. Dear Me, Frankie Boyle left of his own accord. Get over it. Sincerely, Mock the Week
    1
  736.  @Abigart69  They feature a lot of WWII shows. If it’s the America part you don’t get… look up Charlottesville.
    1
  737. ...define "watches".
    1
  738. Well, half of everyone. The other half just asks "What was that about Timmy?"
    1
  739. Paw Patrol is about dogs. A-Z is a really thick, heavy book.
    1
  740. Heard of the "Chuckle Brothers"? Their catchphrase was "To me", "To you". And one of them passed away before this aired.
    1
  741. Thing is, that one needs context. And a lot of commentators here didn't have that context.
    1
  742. Chuckle Brothers had a catchphrase of alternating “To me”, “To you”. One of them died a while before this was broadcast.
    1
  743. Yeah... although he looked ashamed to make it.
    1
  744. Chuckle Brothers had a catchphrase of alternating “To me”, “To you”. One of them died a while before this was broadcast.
    1
  745. Oh, it went in all right.
    1
  746. Risky? Have you not heard of Frankie Boyle?
    1
  747. Chuckle Brothers had a catchphrase of alternating “To me”, “To you”. One of them died a while before this was broadcast.
    1
  748. The Chuckle Brothers had a catchphrase "To me", "To you" that they'd say back and forth while carrying something. One died a while before this aired.
    1
  749. I think Jim Gaffigan made that joke once. Can't confirm, though.
    1
  750. It’s meant to be “Okay, joke’s finished, give someone else a turn.”
    1
  751.  @HS-md1er  There was a group called the Chuckle Brothers who had the catchphrase "To me", "To you", "To me", "To you". One of them died a while before this aired.
    1
  752. Chuckle Brothers had a catchphrase of alternating “To me”, “To you”. One of them died a while before this was broadcast.
    1
  753. What’s your job?
    1
  754. What do those “having a shit” jokes actually mean? I’m not getting it.
    1
  755. Is it just the last name? Or is "Greg" interchangeable with "Jeremy"?
    1
  756.  @benny7498  Oh, that's right! You'll have to excuse me, it's "Where's Waldo?" over here in America.
    1
  757. It’s for comedians who don’t know to come back after their joke concludes.
    1
  758.  @Timalay  As is your time, if you felt obligated to respond.
    1
  759. I think that was more about restrictive channel standards than racism.
    1
  760. Length.
    1
  761. Because he spent that time preventing his sons from killing the woodpeckers and termites.
    1
  762. “My Lord, if slavery is so repugnant, at least write it on a third tablet!”
    1
  763. “Fifteen-Love!”
    1
  764. Why was it “ironically”?
    1
  765. Eczema is when your skin gets flaky.
    1
  766. “HE’S STILL ALIVE!!”
    1
  767. “We stopped the Daleks by knocking them on their sides.”
    1
  768. 1:12
    1
  769. "Mashed banana, mashed banana..."
    1
  770.  @tobyhart8515  Only in Splatoon.
    1
  771.  @tobyhart8515  It just said “pile of crap” when I commented.
    1
  772. I think you mean "explosive diarrhea."
    1
  773. Second-to-last one. Unless you intended to use “I’ve got a feeling that one’s gonna be in the show.”
    1
  774. Elevator jokes are second-floor entertainment. Sorry, second rate entertainment.
    1
  775. Tom who?
    1
  776. ...it’s me!
    1
  777. It is... though I prefer the origami variant.
    1
  778. There are twenty-four of you, so the fastest way to reach your target is to make a chain of twenty-four correct answers. Question 1: What is the mathematical likelihood of that happening?
    1
  779. Most. Not all.
    1
  780. Counterpoint: Balloons, Birds, Insects and Bats
    1
  781. 1:31
    1
  782. So... what happened in 1966?
    1
  783. C: I hate writing these speeches.
    1
  784.  @sebastiangonzalezschwidrow603  Maybe he doesn’t wear a helmet?
    1
  785. I say it should alternate between pissed-drunk and pissed-angry.
    1
  786. Which one?
    1
  787. Are we talking angry or drunk?
    1
  788. Contractual obligation.
    1
  789. Oh, and Bernie Sanders.
    1
  790. “Cabin in the Woods” kinda worked with that. One guy suggested that they all stick together, then a stupidity-inducing mist comes through the vent, and he suggests that they split up instead.
    1
  791. Same people came up with both shows.
    1
  792. No, they got the reference. It just took a while. …Nick Clegg doesn’t steal any tongues, does he?
    1
  793. Probably because it was a good joke.
    1
  794. *killer waiting in the shadows* "Man, I gotta pee."
    1
  795. 1:09 Is that really how British people pronounce "geyser"?
    1
  796. Other way around.
    1
  797. “Chad” could also be the name of someone you meet at an American frat party.
    1
  798. 1:27 Two for the price of one.
    1
  799. 1:32
    1
  800. “I am the returning officer…”
    1
  801. He was being consistent. Same energy, same unexpected swear in the title… if he made it too predictable, Dara would buzz him early.
    1
  802. Who does?
    1
  803. Do you remember what show it was?
    1
  804. Is it just me, or does he use the exact same vocal tone for that as “Cooking While Pissed”?
    1
  805. Ah… okay. I thought he was talking about something a bit more historical.
    1
  806. He mentioned the best man thing after a “Scenes We’d Like to See” where he only managed to get in one joke. Either Season 3 or Season 4 - back when Frankie Boyle was still there.
    1
  807. How so?
    1
  808.  @wayne20uk  You know we didn’t have Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games, right?
    1
  809. What’s the joke there? Asking from America.
    1
  810. 1:50
    1
  811. Big Chuckle Brothers fan?
    1
  812. I hate it when videos make me think one of my ear buds isn’t working properly.
    1
  813. Turns out, he can do jokes that go a little further.
    1
  814. “Loose Women” is a show where women occasionally sit on a table... you figure out the other part.
    1
  815. Struck me a little differently at first, because “pissed” means “angry” where I come from.
    1
  816. Strikes a little differently if you’re used to “pissed” meaning “angry” instead of “drunk”.
    1
  817. Why Dave? Does he get pissed often?
    1
  818. 1:33
    1
  819. I’m gonna guess something sexual.
    1
  820.  @privatetrash2810  I have. Don’t ask them to help you sort.
    1
  821.  @robotcapital4774  He didn’t want to say “White Power Ranger”.
    1
  822. Well, he is the returning officer.
    1
  823. Between that and Megatoner… one shall stand, one shall fall.
    1
  824. It’s great to be back, isn’t it?
    1
  825. “Any messages?”
    1
  826. Is that what “Happy Birthday” translates to?
    1
  827. Explain please.
    1
  828. 2:02
    1
  829.  @rookcapcoldblood2618  A “referendum result” would be a consensus among their version of Congress.
    1
  830. 0:42 What’s that got to do with disability benefits?
    1
  831. Who’s Dara O’Briain?
    1
  832. “Welcome to the bakery!”
    1
  833. 3:02 Funny thing, I was just reading about a cartoon where that happens. Miraculous Ladybug - “Startrain”.
    1
  834. You mind explaining that one?
    1
  835. I wonder how they rated the A&E service they got.
    1
  836. He could’ve pretended to skip rope.
    1
  837. 1:03 Did he advertise for that?
    1
  838. Did he advertise for that?
    1
  839. Explain?
    1
  840. I think that was done in a different episode.
    1
  841. 2:37 and 2:59 were the best ones.
    1
  842. Could you explain it to those of us outside the UK?
    1
  843. Care to explain?
    1
  844. Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Milton’s first episode come directly after Frankie’s last one? Maybe he’s a little sore about that disconnect.
    1
  845. “Now, how do we put the leopard back together?” -Colin Mochrie
    1
  846. Like what? I could probably explain most of them.
    1
  847. How’ve you held to that?
    1
  848. Where is that one? I'd really like to hear it again.
    1
  849. 2:38 Explain please.
    1
  850. “It’s in the game” is the slogan for EA. The guy is chastising an A&E employee who answers the phone by saying that.
    1
  851. 1:21 Micheal who?
    1
  852. They were made by the same people.
    1
  853. “When asked for comment, the museum curator said he had no idea how the thief could’ve gotten in, or what could’ve motivated them to steal King Olly.”
    1
  854. His first joke wasn’t half bad either. Imagine if that really was how Jesus ended up being born in a manger.
    1
  855. Explain?
    1
  856. A lot of people do.
    1
  857. Sincerely, Captain Howdy
    1
  858. Whenever I hear “Bear Grylls”, I think of that joke.
    1
  859. He burgled it. He purloined it. He engaged in thievery.
    1
  860. 2:54
    1
  861.  @franciscusautismusmaximus5185  Eh... okay.
    1
  862. Yeah, still no beating that one.
    1
  863. "Stay at home!"
    1
  864. (0:53)
    1
  865. 2:27 Oh man, I miss that show.
    1
  866.  @pedropacheco8805  Really? I thought it meant something was that thoroughly blown apart.
    1
  867. Eight more and it becomes a Spiritomb.
    1
  868. Popping?
    1
  869. If you followed through on that promise, then congratulations. You’ve doomed us all.
    1
  870. What is a floating voter?
    1
  871. Nick who?
    1
  872. …oh dear.
    1
  873. That’s the only time I’ve seen anybody one-up Milton Jones.
    1
  874. That was a running gag? I only heard it once.
    1
  875. Is that an in-joke?
    1
  876. Would you mind explaining?
    1
  877. Why’d the audience go “yay” after that last one?
    1
  878. “There’s no reasoning with the armadillos. They feel nothing.”
    1
  879. “Did someone call for Captain Pork?”
    1
  880. I thought it was intentional.
    1
  881. I thought that was intentional.
    1
  882. The joke he was gonna tell. Maybe something about the hero being ignorant.
    1
  883. He left after Series 7.
    1
  884.  @xTxTricKzz  And there are still people who I think need to hear it.
    1
  885. He’s not coming back. Something about “frightening the horses”, as he put it.
    1
  886. *Mimes an invisible box*
    1
  887. Which one?
    1
  888. He’s the vice-roy.
    1
  889. Maybe it referred to a joke one of those two guys made earlier.
    1
  890. “They must be comin’ in goin’…”
    1
  891. No, he just got tired of the restrictive production standards and left after Series 7.
    1
  892. 1:53 is my favorite.
    1
  893. 0:22 Eh... Animaniacs did it first.
    1
  894. The one with birds on his shirt? That’s Milton Jones.
    1
  895. Do explain.
    1
  896. Not that she would, anyway. I believe the convention is “shag, marry, kill”.
    1
  897. With the proper anagram “Road Brain A.I.”
    1
  898. He’s got his own show.
    1
  899. “What a funny country.”
    1
  900. Have you heard of "Whose Line is it Anyway?". Came from the same people as this one.
    1
  901. For the record, Whose Line and Mock the Week came from the same people. You're just used to the version with Ryan and Colin.
    1
  902. Which one?
    1
  903. Hey, it's things you wouldn't hear in an action film.
    1
  904. It would’ve been kinda disappointing if he didn’t, though.
    1
  905. "What magazine was it?"
    1
  906. Care to explain that one? I didn't get it.
    1
  907. I expected it to end with "I can't come to the phone right now, so please leave a message at the tone."
    1
  908. Sometimes it's the last one.
    1
  909. Not from the UK - could you explain that one to me?
    1
  910. “Quite warm, actually.”
    1
  911. She said “right up my husband”, as in a different person. “A bet’s a bet, darling!”
    1
  912. 1:21 2:12 2:54
    1
  913. I think you forgot about Ed Byrne.
    1
  914. That is how you tell a joke.
    1
  915. I think you forgot the big “C”.
    1
  916. Would that be a ten-mark question?
    1
  917. Does that change your perspective of the episode itself?
    1
  918. “Greater or less than 90%? Three marks.”
    1
  919. “Shield.”
    1
  920. After inhaling the white substance?
    1
  921. “Can’t quite pull off a convincing smile? Then try this one-hour Katherine Ryan comedy routine!”
    1
  922. Would you mind explaining it to me?
    1
  923. “No, Ed. He did it to himself.”
    1
  924. Was that a running joke in the episode itself?
    1
  925.  @imranzaki3687  A show Dara hosted at the time.
    1
  926. A jealous boyfriend, that’s who.
    1
  927. Who’s Dec?
    1
  928. Oh! I thought that was mine!
    1
  929. Who’s Dec?
    1
  930. What about me into your talking? I perfect of grammar.
    1
  931. Not “if”. “When”.
    1
  932. What is Amnesia? Is it... A: Memory Loss A: Memory Loss 4: The Battle of Hastings
    1
  933. What is amnesia? Is it A) Memory Loss...
    1
  934. What amnesia joke?
    1
  935. What amnesia joke?
    1
  936. Which one is Stuart Francis?
    1
  937. Indigo
    1
  938. What’d Anne Robinson do outside of the Weakest Link?
    1
  939. What is amnesia? Is it a) Memory Loss...
    1
  940. I think it’s a joke about fruit being scarce in Scotland.
    1
  941. Or was he closing it to put something between him and Frankie?
    1
  942. What was?
    1
  943. “What is amnesia? Is it a) memory loss...”
    1
  944. The one with the glasses and Scottish accent.
    1
  945. How’d it go?
    1
  946. 2)
    1
  947. What memory loss one?
    1
  948. At first, I thought he meant lines of people waiting for her to finish.
    1
  949. Was what something about memory loss?
    1
  950. Good sir... do you know what amnesia is?
    1
  951. “What is amnesia? Is it A: Memory Loss...”
    1
  952. What about us into your talking? We perfect of grammar.
    1
  953. For Amnesia?
    1
  954. (1:52) That’s why Andy closed the door on him.
    1
  955. What is?
    1
  956. His brand of comedy really put BBC and the censors on edge. I’m told that what you get from him here is actually a bit restrained.
    1
  957. I think it was a running gag in the episode itself. Something about a “racist door”.
    1
  958. 1:53
    1
  959. “This is for one million pounds.”
    1
  960. This.
    1
  961. What does it mean?
    1
  962. Are you a Smurf? If so, what color did it turn your skin?
    1
  963. Rita Repulsa much?
    1
  964. More of a horse salesman, but yeah.
    1
  965. Russell Howard, if you’re wondering.
    1
  966. "No, I haven't. Is that a documentary on writer's block?"
    1
  967. Ah, fellow Whose-Liner. Welcome.
    1
  968. Came to that realization a bit late. At least now, “Cooking While Pissed” makes more sense.
    1
  969. Rita Repulsa much?
    1
  970. She almost sounded like Rita Repulsa, didn't she?
    1
  971. Usually involves Russel Howard, I've noticed.
    1
  972. Calm down, Rita Repulsa.
    1
  973. I’ve seen Russell do it more often.
    1
  974. "Uh... glitter of what color?"
    1
  975. Hatoful?
    1
  976. She almost sounds like Rita Repulsa, doesn't she?
    1
  977. You mean 1:44?
    1
  978. It’s something Radio FM actually did. Look it up if you want the details.
    1
  979. Dara O’Briain or Andy Parsons?
    1
  980. “Hello, Ed. How are you this evening?”
    1
  981. I guess 1:15 could count.
    1
  982. As of right now, about five months.
    1
  983. Ah... exactly what I was thinking.
    1
  984. Which is surprising, given how long it takes Southern Rail to get anywhere.
    1
  985. No, nowadays it would be "Where is Piers Morgan?"
    1
  986. 👏 👏 👏
    1
  987. Like this.
    1
  988. 1:51 Explain please.
    1
  989. What was that impression?
    1
  990. 0:40
    1
  991. 1:49
    1
  992. 1:49
    1
  993. 1:10
    1
  994. Which one?
    1
  995. Explain?
    1
  996. The receptionist is a "scoucer". meaning she comes from Liverpool. Might be a knock at her accent, I don't know.
    1
  997. I thought it was a subversion of the "tooth-hurty" joke.
    1
  998. “I slept with your wife!”
    1
  999. And who’s Mr. Beckett?
    1
  1000. I don’t get that one. Would you mind explaining?
    1
  1001. Or, more simply, he was subverting the usual dentistry joke of two-thirty (tooth-hurty).
    1
  1002.  @skthejanner  I had a feeling, it just seemed like low-hanging fruit.
    1
  1003. Yeah, it’s unlikely… but it’s also not funny or clever.
    1
  1004. “Well, at least something is.”
    1
  1005. “The suspect has been identified as a purple-robed individual with blond hair and a crown. He answers to the name ‘King Olly’.”
    1
  1006. 3:03 So simple, but so hilarious.
    1
  1007. He does not like Ed Sheeran, does he?
    1
  1008. Because he only had one good joke.
    1
  1009. No, I think it was age 9.
    1
  1010. That one took me a while, too. What part of the male body could you fit through a donut hole?
    1
  1011. They’re notably bad instructions.
    1
  1012. What part of the male body could fit through a donut hole?
    1
  1013. That joke should’ve come after the next one by Andy Parsons.
    1
  1014. I was hoping for a "Sorry, I also do funerals" joke, but... I guess 3:40 works.
    1
  1015. I know there’s one where three comedians all start with quips about Ireland… anyone know where that is?
    1
  1016. “Welcome to Rhode Island.” … “Thanks for visiting Rhode Island.”
    1
  1017. 0:50 “If anyone knows anything about the so-called Origami King it speaks of...”
    1
  1018. In only 500 words?
    1
  1019.  @pwpresents5660  Okay, but which of his lines here was used?
    1
  1020. Just a random assortment of words, or a reference to something earlier in the show?
    1
  1021. “The C-Wing for short.”
    1
  1022. “Laughing my ass off”
    1
  1023. Question 2: Can you tell if they're having a stroke?
    1
  1024. I get that Andy was in the audience, but… what was the joke there?
    1
  1025. Any idea what it was?
    1
  1026. Whatever happened to “Cooking while Pissed”?
    1
  1027. Could you explain that first one to me?
    1
  1028. He doesn’t want to.
    1
  1029. Same people behind both.
    1
  1030. Can someone explain the first one?
    1
  1031. “Here’s a muffin for your trouble.”
    1
  1032. What was the joke while she was still alive? I think I’m missing something.
    1
  1033. Eh, it’s probably going to end up on Dave. Where all of those jokes will get even funnier.
    1
  1034.  @bluebear1985  The movie genre, smart Alec. I don’t know exactly what it is.
    1
  1035. Can someone define “thriller”’for me?
    1
  1036. What’s the joke there? You would hear something like that in a Sci-Fi film, wouldn’t you?
    1
  1037. Wouldn’t call that “Sci-Fi”, though
    1
  1038. Could you explain that one?
    1
  1039. Something about a visible erection, I think.
    1
  1040. No, just the one about Dave.
    1
  1041. 1:30
    1
  1042. Britain.
    1
  1043. *join the Euro
    1
  1044. 2:23
    1
  1045. 0:47 2:04
    1
  1046. What is the Bill? Does he mean like a fee bill?
    1
  1047. “Is there an E? No? How about an F? Damn it, we’ve got a hung jury.”
    1
  1048. “We’ll be visiting Swindon, Swindon, Swindon.”
    1
  1049.  @creflot  American equivalent “Whose Line is it Anyway?” Thats how he responded to a similar comment.
    1
  1050. Ryan Stiles: Show’s not over yet.
    1
  1051. 0:42 We laugh, but there was someone in the audience thinking “Oh, now he tells me.”
    1
  1052. Because he couldn’t bring Sans himself.
    1
  1053. 1:12 Might be my favorite one of these.
    1
  1054. Frankie Boyle was rather critical of Mock the Week’s producers after he left. He said they were afraid of “frightening the horses”, and he didn’t enjoy dampening his own brand of comedy to meet them halfway.
    1
  1055. Frankie Boyle’s last SWLTS on Mock the Week.
    1
  1056. So do the guys from Office Space.
    1
  1057. What?
    1
  1058. “…as minus-two.”
    1
  1059. I dunno, those get stale after a while.
    1
  1060. He could have a pointier nose.
    1
  1061. Might’ve been a deliberate choice.
    1
  1062. For the record, he only had one joke this time.
    1
  1063. What makes you think Frankie Boyle wants to come back?
    1
  1064. What makes you think he wants to come back?
    1
  1065. 1:32
    1
  1066. Which one?
    1
  1067. 1:43
    1
  1068.  @diannepal9957  Alternatively, he could’ve been someone other than the bride or groom.
    1
  1069. Which one?
    1
  1070. Chris Addison, apparently.
    1
  1071.  @sophiegreen1923  because he never stopped.
    1
  1072. Thank you, John Oliver.
    1
  1073.  @CricketEngland  Ah… afraid I haven’t. Now it makes sense. Thank you.
    1
  1074. 1:11 Can someone explain?
    1
  1075. Yeah, funny how that all started…
    1
  1076. I never got along with my brother. There were times when I used to wonder why. And then he hit me.
    1
  1077. That was a different one. Funnier, but more region-specific.
    1
  1078. “You’re going straight to hell.” “You’re going straight to DVD, mate.”
    1
  1079. Apparently, Ed was talking about a “Farming Simulator” earlier in the show.
    1
  1080. Or maybe it was hilarious to watch a female comedian walk up to that microphone.
    1
  1081. You mean “Life O’ Briain”?
    1
  1082. Care to explain that one?
    1
  1083. He is to Mock the Week as Colin Mochrie is to Whose Line is it Anyway? Look up his “Irish Drinking Song” lines for a taste.
    1
  1084. “Oh be a sport”.
    1
  1085.  @freddybayliss6959  They’re trying to be funny. If you get the joke. Just go with it.
    1
  1086. “Zookeeper qualifications? Well, I know the average airspeed of an unladen swallow…”
    1
  1087. “IF ONLY I COULD READ!”
    1
  1088. 0:25
    1
  1089. Can you explain that one?
    1
  1090. British word for intercom.
    1
  1091. Intercom
    1
  1092. Mommy parts and daddy parts.
    1
  1093. Was that a joke from earlier in the episode?
    1
  1094. It was made by the same people.
    1
  1095. Fuck him. I've never said that about anybody before. But I'm so angry that I'll say it again. Fuck him.
    1
  1096. 0:11 Play in separate tab: https://youtu.be/kiebGJF7sXE
    1
  1097. Samantha Bumgarner They didn’t. I think it was an abusive owner.
    1
  1098. This video has been in my Watch Later folder for about a week. I'm just watching it now.
    1
  1099. Those officers might've been patrolling in eighty-degree weather. I'm not going to pretend that dousing a police officer in cold water isn't disrespectful, but let's dial back the outrage that their first response wasn't to tackle that guy to the ground.
    1
  1100. Just caught a Stakataka. Decided to name it "Lagena".
    1
  1101. Because comical correctness wasn’t her intention.
    1
  1102. No, she wouldn’t. And I doubt AOC would destroy her either. The two emit on different wavelengths.
    1
  1103. You say “At least she did something”. What was that “something”?
    1
  1104. "Get a MOOOOOOve on, ya pile o' manure!"
    1
  1105.  @thekma3476  Sorry, by "evil", I meant "involved with the scheme".
    1
  1106. Evil, loyal, competent - pick any two.
    1
  1107. I honestly thought that opening bit was part of the “Bad Lip Reading” video.
    1
  1108. Pfft. “He has no anus.” That’s a sentence nobody expects to hear.
    1
  1109. 4:30
    1
  1110. If anything could change him, it would’ve happened before I was born.
    1
  1111. “Cold person.” “I’m freezing. Gimme your blanket.” -House of Representatives Bad Lip Reading
    1
  1112. He did what cops in Uvalde actually tried to prevent other people from doing. (And I would keep that as a limit to 80 cops. As best I can tell, the rest only waited because they were told to stand down, and could only assume the Uvalde guys had some sort of plan.)
    1
  1113. To be fair, the vast majority of them were told to stand down by the Uvalde police. They probably wanted to do something, but could only assume the Uvalde cops had a plan.
    1
  1114. To be fair, the vast majority of them were told to stand down by the Uvalde police. They probably wanted to do something, but could only assume the Uvalde cops had a plan.
    1
  1115. Because he says a lot. And sometimes, his narcissism and logical myopia will lead to a self-implicating admission.
    1
  1116. Allow me to thank you for your service. And to remind you that Trump was proud of getting out of Vietnam. He's been recorded saying as much long before running.
    1
  1117. All right, I'll level with you. What's the proof?
    1
  1118. I think it was on a flight. They would've needed parachutes.
    1
  1119. I watched it last night... a little under 24 hours ago.
    1
  1120.  @annadion4134  In that case, educate me.
    1
  1121. Anna Dion My case is that you just want the provided context to be wrong. My proof is that you’re claiming it’s wrong without giving us a better one. Now, that case is easily refutable. If you have the proper context, lead me to it.
    1
  1122. Anna Dion I rest my case.
    1
  1123. If you're so sure about that, supply us with the proper context.
    1
  1124. The guy is known for firing every official he has a problem with, and berating anyone he can't fire. If someone works for him and has a complaint about him, anonymity might be the way to go.
    1
  1125. I heard that someone on Fox News confirmed it. So it can't be fake news.
    1
  1126. Good point. Why don't you show us?
    1
  1127. Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child.
    1
  1128. It's a real parabola of a campaign slogan. "Jesus" and "Babies" sort of go together, but "Guns" is a dramatic shift for each of them.
    1
  1129.  @henrytownshed5304  Because we don’t think it’s a lost cause. It’s just not worth bragging about now. There does exist a middle ground between the two concepts.
    1
  1130.  @Pattim4762  That’s right. Only you say that.
    1
  1131. But therein you acknowledge their existence. Look, I don’t want to remember it either, but we need that tenure as a frame of reference. People will get away with worse and worse things if the consequences aren’t properly reinforced, and that requires knowing how much reinforcement they need.
    1
  1132. Only in the sense of him being as far-right as anyone could possibly get.
    1
  1133. That’s not true. The ones that do know are being paid to convince the rest of them otherwise.
    1
  1134. Are you willing to share? Or is it too personal?
    1
  1135. It’s telling that they had to add a disclaimer to those comments at the end.
    1
  1136. Yes! Thank you! We need to call more attention to details like that. Some of them were probably told to stand down by local law enforcement, despite being otherwise competent and ready to assist.
    1
  1137. I blame some of the feds. Not all of them, just some. This headline from three days after the tragedy really shaped my perspective of it: Federal agents entered Uvalde school to kill gunman despite local police initially asking them to wait.
    1
  1138. So it wasn’t just the federal agents who took action half an hour after local law enforcement told them to stand down… or the woman who wriggled out of handcuffs and actually saved a few children. If those other Uvalde cops were such cowards, why’d they put up such resistance for the non-cowards?!
    1
  1139. Slow down. I’d like to bring this headline from May 27th to your attention: Federal agents entered Uvalde school to kill gunman despite local police initially asking them to wait
    1
  1140. This had nothing to do with Joe Biden.
    1
  1141. Maybe that’s because he was told to stand down by local law police, which he chose to stop doing after 30 minutes of their inaction.
    1
  1142. Or... an unfit police commissioner telling the non-cowardly ones to stand down. Headline from May 27th: Federal agents entered Uvalde school to kill gunman despite local police initially asking them to wait.
    1
  1143. I bet some of the cops were frustrated too. One federal agent is on the record saying local law enforcement told him to stand down, which he stopped doing after 30 minutes of their inaction. I doubt they were just telling him to stand down.
    1
  1144. I think a lot of them were told to stand down, and didn't realize the people telling them to stand down were hemming and hawing rather than actually trying to take down the shooter. It's not wishful thinking, either. Headline from May 27th: Federal agents entered Uvalde school to kill gunman despite local police initially asking them to wait.
    1
  1145. I'm sure plenty of them had a pair of balls. I suspect that they didn't have full context, that they were told to stand down by local law enforcement and assumed that either the situation was under control or that they'd be called to assist if it got worse. At least one federal agent's account was that of taking action thirty minutes after being told to stand down, since he was close enough to tell local law enforcement weren't doing jack squat.
    1
  1146. Well... maybe not all 400 of them. Headline from May 27th: Federal agents entered Uvalde school to kill gunman despite local police initially asking them to wait.
    1
  1147. I don't think all of them were cowards. I think a lot of them were ready to assist, but told by local law enforcement to stand down... and they could only assume at the time it was for a legitimate reason.
    1
  1148. Not all of them. I think some of them have a legitimate excuse. Headline from May 27th: Federal agents entered Uvalde school to kill gunman despite local police initially asking them to wait.
    1
  1149. I think some of those almost-400 can be forgiven. Headline from May 27th: Federal agents entered Uvalde school to kill gunman despite local police initially asking them to wait.
    1
  1150. I thought he was the village idiot.
    1
  1151. I remember my mother specifically telling me not to deal with grade-school bullies this way.
    1
  1152. Apart from that, though, his little history lesson was correct. I checked to be sure - every president after him who could’ve campaigned for another term and chose not to… never had a full first term anyway, coming after someone who died in office. Although to his main point… it shouldn’t be suspicious at all that Biden isn’t already campaigning for a second term. He’s using the standard of Trump doing it so early into his first term.
    1
  1153. Actually, he was almost right. The president from 1877-1881 was Rutherford B. Hayes, and as best I can tell, every president since then who declined another term they could’ve legally campaigned for… was the successor of a president who died in office. It’s just unclear what point he was trying to make by bringing that up.
    1
  1154. “Naw, I prefer cash.”
    1
  1155. If I had to guess… he thinks Biden didn’t seriously want to be president, and just ran to deny Trump a second term. It’s evident to him because, unlike with Trump, Biden hasn’t already started campaigning for a second term of his own.
    1
  1156. To be fair, the guy at 1:13 did do some research. Apart from one detail - Rutherford B. Hayes - that history lesson was entirely correct. I looked it up to be sure. As for his main point… your guess is as good as mine.
    1
  1157. And because Jesus is the king, He should be the one to judge gays, lesbians and transgenders. Not the kind of people who normally say “Jesus is the king” outside a church.
    1
  1158. He said it with a touch of sarcasm.
    1
  1159. That was in 2006, before most of the current Gaza population was even born. Most of them did not want this. And the ones who do are a very small fraction of the ones Israeli forces have already killed.
    1
  1160. No offense, but why are you still thinking that? The bottom is when they face full and sweeping consequences. Only assume that they're pushing it lower until then.
    1
  1161. I half-expected Biden to say "You keep using that word. I don't think you know what it means."
    1
  1162. Ah… my sympathies. I have an idea for something you could do about it - make a case for getting the Bible banned. It must be full of contradictory quotes you can use to fight Republicans on their own battleground. You might get $10,000 out of it, or enable someone else to pick up the baton.
    1
  1163. I smell a plush kangaroo.
    1
  1164. Some quick math: Two-thirds (2/3) of federal district judges who disclose their stocks, multiplied by one-fifth (1/5) of cases involving a pertinent stock to either the judge or their family, multiplied by two-thirds (2/3) of rulings in favor of the companies pertaining to those stocks... would be (2/3 * 1/5 * 2/3 = 2/45 =) 4.44% of cases. If the 685 known cases entirely comprise that 4.44%, and it's not done any less often by the one-third (1/3) of judges who don't report their stocks, then this level of dishonesty applies to at least (4.44% * 3/2 =) 6.66% of cases involving stock companies, or at least 1027 overall. Again, that's a low estimate.
    1
  1165. Way to make life worth living, buddy.
    1
  1166. Even better, they were all forced to take a knee.
    1
  1167. 1:31 Well, they’re weak to the same Types.
    1
  1168. No, not from the Good Place... although I can already imagine Michael going "Come on! Wasn't Jason more than enough?!"
    1
  1169. It’s immoral. America has a serious disconnect between immoral and illegal.
    1
  1170.  @noktin  All right... just as long as you don't buy one.
    1
  1171. Is that really what you’re focused on? Or… what you think LEGO should sue the gun creators for?
    1
  1172. Reminds me of the “Zenotopoulous Toilet Theory” - Most people can only use one bathroom at a time.
    1
  1173. I go back to the “Zenotopoulous Toilet Theory” - Most people can only use one bathroom at a time.
    1
  1174. Okay… this “house” sounds more like a hotel. I’d be slightly less disgusted with this story if they marketed it that way.
    1
  1175. No… he would’ve found a way to pay less for Twitter if he intended to destroy it or break it up. He’s genuinely trying to run it. And realizing just how terrible he is at it.
    1
  1176. And it would’ve been less if not for the Trump tax cuts.
    1
  1177. That old man from Monty Python and the Holy Grail was more of a historian than Cooper.
    1
  1178. They don’t really need to get it. The fact that he’s resorting to such complicated measures is more pertinent.
    1
  1179. I have more sympathy for Rayman’s Mr. Stone.
    1
  1180. You mean 0:06? That just looks like a police car behind him.
    1
  1181. NFT stands for “non-fungible token”. I forget what that means… but I assume he doesn’t have (or want to use) any less complicated way of getting money. That’s enough for me.
    1
  1182. He was never this public about it.
    1
  1183. Yeah, this one is fine. It was clearly staged, anyway.
    1
  1184.  @GriffenUnlabeled  It still helps to have the bullpoop properly broken down.
    1
  1185. It’s a lesson in psychology, if. nothing else.
    1
  1186. He taught me a new word just now. "comorbidity".
    1
  1187. I'm just wondering who the Galvatron to MTG's Starscream will be.
    1
  1188. That depends on how many people were unaware of the difference and believed it anyway.
    1
  1189. 2:13 Do they actually return to that? Doesn’t seem like they do.
    1
  1190. It’s “woke” if it would tick off white rich people.
    1
  1191. Really? If they hadn’t told me she was dressed as Ana, I wouldn’t have figured it out on my own. Looks more like that “I am your mother!” guy from SNL.
    1
  1192. Wait, what?
    1
  1193. Do you have proof? I don’t doubt it, I just want to see it.
    1
  1194. With Republicans, there’s no difference between a pink suit and a pink slip.
    1
  1195. Okay, tell them to start a fund. I might donate myself.
    1
  1196. Yeah, cops are supposed to give a reason for arresting you. And “not making me feel strong” is a bogus police charge… but lots of officer try to use it.
    1
  1197. They’re saying it’s not all that smart to put reporters that close to a big weather event in the first place. Fox News just has an egregious example.
    1
  1198. As a proof of concept: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zB9WexXEsw
    1
  1199. Oof. Does that self-own come with a family plan?
    1
  1200. "Donald Grump".
    1
  1201. How much do Buddhists force to you submit to their worldview? Compared to Christians, it doesn’t seem like a lot.
    1
  1202. Yeah… “Love your neighbor as yourself” was the first Bible quote I ever learned. It seemed like the bare minimum for Christianity… and it always grinds my gears when people who call themselves “Christians” don’t even bother.
    1
  1203. If you don’t agree with her, you don’t have to listen to her.
    1
  1204. Nobody knows what you’re talking about.
    1
  1205. I think a more prominent example would be the forty-day flood he told Noah to prepare for.
    1
  1206. The right always accuses them of grooming… but I seem to recall a Republican-backed bill removing the age limit on marriage in Tennessee.
    1
  1207. Well, everyone is judged. But a lot of people seem to think they can force others to take the burdensome path leading to a pure judgement… and still be pure themselves. They shouldn’t. They can persuade, but run the risk of grave sin by interfering any further.
    1
  1208. My big issue with “Pro-Life” is that it seems to only be “Pro-still-developing-Life”. Not much emphasis on the life of the mother it’s growing inside, or the baby itself after it’s born and requires effort to care for. But you’re welcome to show me proof of the contrary. Go on.
    1
  1209. And when that happens, you can say you told us so. But right now, some of us want a relief from present burdens. And forcing them into those burdens hardly comes across as a godsend, whatever the reason.
    1
  1210. Fox wants to make its audience angry... and most of its audience, for one reason or another, want to be angry. They prefer a righteous rage against minorities and companies that appeal to them... over happiness. I can't think of any other way to explain it.
    1
  1211. The part where that overrules all other details. We’re trying to find exceptions and build on them.
    1
  1212. Genuine question: Do these cops get any nonviolent or non-accusatory training at all? Because if they’re not trained for anything short of a violent criminal that’s certain to resist arrest, we shouldn’t be surprised when they apply that same training to people with minor infractions. Even if that means making their skin color the infraction.
    1
  1213. 16:11
    1
  1214. It's not a matter of what Trump does. It's a matter of how and why his surrogates continue to defend him. For Trump to be impeached, any incentive someone could have for keeping him in office needs to go.
    1
  1215. People have to face consequences. It’s that simple.
    1
  1216. I'd say Lord Business wiped off the good face on his head... but I'm not sure he had one.
    1
  1217. Dumber than a sack of water.
    1
  1218. Maine. The state.
    1
  1219. Well, of course not. The mandates are for masks and vaccines.
    1
  1220. The crowd we're trying to incentivize is a stubborn lot. And frankly... we're getting desperate.
    1
  1221. Back a long way behind us.
    1
  1222. Yeah, it's sad that we have to bribe anyone to get this vaccine... but desperate times call for desperate measures.
    1
  1223. They existed back in Shakespeare's time. "Measure for Measure" starts with the acting regent closing every brothel in Vienna.
    1
  1224. So weird to hear news about brothels in Vienna after reading "Measure for Measure". Please tell me the manager's name isn't "Mr. Overdone".
    1
  1225. Why? You planning to get more than one jab?
    1
  1226. Because the media convinces them to be terrified of the world around them. Burglars, peeping toms, assassins that definitely have a reason to kill your family… you need a way to defend yourself. At all times.
    1
  1227. Woah! Was anyone else surprised to learn this guy hosted Idiotest? Or is it just me?
    1
  1228. Probably not. If I was the CEO of that wallet company, I wouldn’t want to touch this.
    1
  1229. It seems. Maybe they’ll finally draw a line.
    1
  1230. I think it bears repeating: https://youtu.be/ot0RkLol7pA?t=35
    1
  1231. Sheriff "Daivd" Clark, you mean. Couldn't even bother to spell his name properly...
    1
  1232. Meanwhile, they would've overlooked Candace Owens if she was right there in the building.
    1
  1233. Okay, but with Candace Owens, there's no case to be made at all.
    1
  1234. It's the one on the right. They got his name, race, and living status correct.
    1
  1235. Dude, she’s holding a wine glass. Bars and restaurants with a mask policy will let you remove your mask to eat or drink what you’ve ordered. That doesn’t make her a hypocrite for saying people who aren’t consuming something should wear a mask.
    1
  1236. Riley Roberts, I hope you treat this lady well. Not only is she beautiful and witty, but she will stand up for you.
    1
  1237. God is a man. The Bible consistently refers to him as “He”. To paraphrase George Carlin. “A woman would never have screwed up this royally.”
    1
  1238. Oh, he is. The show version of himself has long been a facade, what he knows his “wannabe alpha male” viewers want to see.
    1
  1239. Those aren’t pronouns.
    1
  1240. Not to mention, if the implements aren’t the right size at first, trying to put them in could poke and pierce sensitive areas of the brain.
    1
  1241. “Not my eggs. My eggs are too precious to break. Start with yours.”
    1
  1242. Thing is, he probably isn’t anywhere near this. He’s just barking orders from afar.
    1
  1243. I don’t think he started in his lane. He’s the one guy you’d tell “It’s not rocket science” as a way of saying “It’s more complicated than you think it is.”
    1
  1244. He’s not claiming he would’ve done the courageous thing. He’s saying that people who signed up to be police officers, and were supposedly trained to handle the possible danger of the job… don’t look great when they cite not wanting to get shot as the reason they didn’t engage a crazed gunman for over half an hour.
    1
  1245. I think that should shift focus to the way police officers are selected and trained. No psychological exams to root out vengeance-seekers. No real disregard for excessive violence or repeat offenses. No bias testing. No deescalation training. So if we’re to believe they’re not even doing active shooter drills… then what are they doing?
    1
  1246. There were border patrol and federal agents. When they came, the local police told them to stand down… while they themselves did nothing.
    1
  1247. So… let me see if I understand your point. Because the lying liberal media would make them look bad anyway, the head cop told those nineteen officers to neither immediately engage the gunman with their own pistols and rifles, nor allow the border patrol and federal agents to themselves engage with the gunman immediately? Don’t get me wrong, there’s a real chance that could’ve been the reason. But if it was… why not try to pull off the job without a hitch, and give slanderers more of an uphill battle?
    1
  1248. And we can focus on those things concurrently. The GOP, for all their flaws, aren’t responsible for the cops stalling as long as they did.
    1
  1249. Are you kidding me? I thought it before even considering the pun.
    1
  1250. Did you miss them calling Biden and Garland “gun-shy” in this very video? They knew how bad it would look to raid Donald Trump’s residence, so they gave him a year, a whole year, to return them willingly. And your reaction gives me a good sense of why he still didn’t.
    1
  1251. I wouldn’t be surprised if it amounted to fueling his own victim complex. Of course he knew the government would want those documents back, and his supporters, who think he’s still the legitimate president, would be riled up by any effort on the government’s part to retrieve them.
    1
  1252. Now I have to wonder… if his people decided to fill boxes with non-classified documents, maybe blank pieces of paper or kiddie menu puzzles… how long would Donald Trump have gone without noticing?
    1
  1253. I'm reminded of that early scene in Terminator 2 where John Connor is trapped in a hallway between two men with guns. Even though one of them was a good guy with a gun, John had no reason to think that until said good guy shouted "Get down!", then shielded him with his own body. And that's a relatively cut-and-dry case.
    1
  1254. No, they don't. Do us all a favor and stick to the news sources that do.
    1
  1255. They thought he was the guy who killed one of them. The fact that they didn't give it a second thought is where the problem lies.
    1
  1256. He has been for decades now. Trevor Noah mentioned it back in 2018: https://youtu.be/YY6p8B4IR24?t=207
    1
  1257. Oh, he is. Trevor Noah has the receipts: https://youtu.be/YY6p8B4IR24?t=207
    1
  1258. Here's Trevor Noah's answer from 2018: https://youtu.be/YY6p8B4IR24?t=207
    1
  1259. Nope. And Trevor Noah has receipts for two of his bigger blunders: https://youtu.be/YY6p8B4IR24?t=207
    1
  1260. Trevor Noah has the receipts on that one: https://youtu.be/YY6p8B4IR24?t=207
    1
  1261. I think this is the first time I’ve seen Cenk introduce a story.
    1
  1262. 1:28 Looking at that picture of RFK Jr. makes me feel... something. I don’t know how to say it. Edit: I looked it up. “Schadenfreude”.
    1
  1263. Not every single one. Just enough to scare the rest away. Maybe change their stance on gun regulation.
    1
  1264. He’s a full-on coward. Terrified of the people who he depends on for support… so he’ll do anything - ANYTHING - to keep them off his back.
    1
  1265. Might’ve changed the Republican tune on gun regulation, seeing how it felt when bullets were fired the other way.
    1
  1266. Why can’t he be both?
    1
  1267. He draws support from a crowd of vitriolic people, and he can’t lose their support because he sure ain’t gonna get it from us.
    1
  1268. Chevron views both just as lowly.
    1
  1269. Show me that Comcast commercial, if you could.
    1
  1270. Okay, he doesn't know what other Pokémon they were trying to catch. That wasn't the point.
    1
  1271. Wow... really damning her with faint praise, aren'tcha?
    1
  1272. You’re thinking of “Ipkis”. This guy is “Itkis”.
    1
  1273. This story was mentioned on SNL a week before this video was uploaded. It’s frankly the only reason I’m here.
    1
  1274. Well... at least we know his positions.
    1
  1275. Maybe because he's clear about his... positions.
    1
  1276. No, but at least this is a case we can laugh about.
    1
  1277. This guy is “Itkis”.
    1
  1278. At least you don’t have guess about any of that. People who make sex tapes are very clear about their positions.
    1
  1279. Independent. Ana said so right at the beginning.
    1
  1280. Whether he runs for office or not, he’s clear about his positions.
    1
  1281. Why? Do you have a lot of similar positions?
    1
  1282. And having clear positions.
    1
  1283. Still, it’s refreshing to see someone this upfront about their positions.
    1
  1284. Oh, someone’s said it. Just not in a context like this.
    1
  1285.  @rhysrautjoki7207  Wrong implication, but it’s still true.
    1
  1286.  @redblaze8700  Maybe have some clearer positions.
    1
  1287. Nope, he’s an independent. Ana said it at the beginning of the video. To be fair, I also missed it.
    1
  1288. He's an independent.
    1
  1289. I heard about this from Micheal Che on Saturday Night Live. Che had to admit that he has similar positions.
    1
  1290. "...and you have frequent sex dreams of Sam the Eagle from the Muppets." "He’s very authoritative, and I find that reassuring." -The Good Place, S3E07
    1
  1291. Well, why make a sex tape if you’re not going to be clear about your positions?
    1
  1292. It was covered on SNL’s Weekend Update the week before.
    1
  1293. Not enough politicians with clear positions, it would seem.
    1
  1294. "I just want to stand here and stare at my privates."
    1
  1295. Honestly, I wouldn’t have stopped by if SNL hadn’t covered this exact story on Weekend Update.
    1
  1296.  @superblump87  Not that small… but still pretty small.
    1
  1297. In the days of Pangea.
    1
  1298. They respect her upfront honesty about wanting to punish others. I bet a few of them are jealous.
    1
  1299. “Put your hands up. Now jiggle around a little.”
    1
  1300. On that, I’ll agree.
    1
  1301. That’s right. Because “bad” would be an inadequate descriptor. Better ones would be “loathsome” and “sociopathic”.
    1
  1302. Thou shalt not steal. Written at a time before any asterisks could be added.
    1
  1303. Perhaps he didn’t need to. Judas’s sinful actions are known worldwide today, and after the one that cost Jesus his life, he felt such remorse that he committed suicide. It’s the way we recognize what terrible sins this poser has committed today. Well… most of us.
    1
  1304. More like religion was poisoned. “Thou shalt not steal” didn’t originally come down with any footnotes.
    1
  1305. So there are footnotes after “Thou shalt not steal” and “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s goods”?
    1
  1306. Okay, Malvolio.
    1
  1307. Why? What did he do wrong?
    1
  1308. And that means it can’t have any Republicans in it?
    1
  1309. Sure. What happened with them?
    1
  1310. Oh, he's got a purple heart. Burger grease can do that.
    1
  1311. I’m disgusted at myself for even pondering whether it would’ve been worse for her to lie about it.
    1
  1312. Why would that be ironic?
    1
  1313. Do you think she has any power over this?
    1
  1314. Daniel Penny went further than just tackling the guy, can we agree on that?
    1
  1315. Maybe it matters if the woman knew something that the arsonist didn’t want her telling the police. But for all we know right now, those are two entirely separate things wrong with the guy.
    1
  1316. You always leave out the important part. He helped that woman by killing the other guy when it was entirely possible to just subdue him.
    1
  1317. If I saw a fire in Grand Central Station, I would’ve run to the concourse and told someone. I wouldn’t have been so blithe about it.
    1
  1318. 6:38 Ooooooohh... I heard a comedian mention that line, but had no idea where it came from. Thank you, Cenk.
    1
  1319. Because it’s emblematic of what millions of other people are doing with their bodies, and pertains to a virus that has been around for two years and killed over a million Americans.
    1
  1320. Do explain.
    1
  1321. When did Cenk run for office?
    1
  1322. You’re right, it doesn’t harm anyone. But it goes against a “natural way” that so many people hold so sacrosanct, and so many other people use as a high horse from which to shame the “impure” for their own satisfaction.
    1
  1323. If he’s such a terribly guy… why watch his videos at all? Are you just here to shame him for your own satisfaction, just like the people he’s talking about?
    1
  1324. Or you’re running on disinformation from those evil people. But that’s not much of an excuse.
    1
  1325. No... if anything, he would've frisked you.
    1
  1326. *playing Pokémon while I listen to this*
    1
  1327. Illegal immigration? Look, if they're taking jobs, it's only because nobody else wants to do them. The job you're doing is probably safe from them.
    1
  1328. 2:15 Can someone post a link to that clip?
    1
  1329. “Get yourself a real prince, ladies. Okay? Stop licking the frog.”
    1
  1330. …how did I not even consider that?
    1
  1331. Being asleep. Wanting the status quo to remain the same at all costs.
    1
  1332. I swear, some people only get happiness endorphins from rage.
    1
  1333. They’d take a second to look it up on their phones: “an adult female human being”. Because that definition doesn’t challenge anything they believe.
    1
  1334. The problem with trying to play both sides... is that you lose twice over if you get caught.
    1
  1335. Or at least... via this cartoon clip of a similar character. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Lj8olulxsk
    1
  1336. Well, not always. Sometimes the left can get petty over it. But the right is still worse for tolerating it until the effects get more personal.
    1
  1337. Really? His mother didn't vote for him? I honestly can't tell if you're serious.
    1
  1338. Reminds me of this cartoon I came across lately. Lindsey is a total Thrust. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Lj8olulxsk
    1
  1339. When you try to play both sides and get caught, you lose twice over. That's why I never do it.
    1
  1340. Kinda like Thrust did: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Lj8olulxsk
    1
  1341. He actually reminds me of this cartoon scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Lj8olulxsk
    1
  1342. When you get caught trying to play both sides, you lose twice over. Just look at what happened to Thrust: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Lj8olulxsk
    1
  1343. Chameleons change to regulate temperature, not blend in. Whether that makes it a better or worse analogy is up to you.
    1
  1344.  @caroljo420  And I commend the women who made it that accurate. Not just for remembering that pain, but gauging it.
    1
  1345. They’d withstand it much better, I think. Because having those cramps once a month would give them a higher tolerance for pain.
    1
  1346. I did think about it. Even if that’s true… it’s just one women. How do you know it applies to the majority of women?
    1
  1347.  @bushwacka5187  What, the equivalent of passing a basketball through your penis isn’t enough?
    1
  1348. “Please ignore the man behind the curtain!”
    1
  1349. I don’t have to. That guy already does.
    1
  1350. Sad but true. Justice comes second to finality. They got an answer and they don't care if it was the wrong one.
    1
  1351. I think it’s spelled “Cenk”.
    1
  1352. WTF indeed. I remember hearing a comedian talk about this, and he ended his rant with “What can you buy with two billion dollars that you can’t buy with one?”
    1
  1353. Not that I’d advocate it, but I know it happens a lot in other countries with this kind of wealth disparity.
    1
  1354. Okay, can you present it properly?
    1
  1355. White nationalists feel oppressed by dark-skinned people existing near them. “Pathetic” is the nicest descriptor I can think of.
    1
  1356. Well, it’s more to highlight a right-wing podcaster realizing and explaining that a social media platform is rigged.
    1
  1357. "Pucker for Tucker". That's a good one.
    1
  1358. In other news, Gabriel Agreste feels sad about the number of citizens getting akumatized.
    1
  1359. In function. We’re talking about in title.
    1
  1360. Functionally speaking, yes. But not in title.
    1
  1361. No, I think he’d still be a Senator, he just wouldn’t be a Democratic one. And yeah, it would cost their Senate Majority… but I don’t see much of a functional difference.
    1
  1362. He is, functionally speaking. The question is whether he’ll keep the Democrat label.
    1
  1363. Woah… I didn’t even recognize Ty Cobb. That beard hid the signature curls in his mustache.
    1
  1364. Probably because it’s easier to wrap news stories around the situations they run into.
    1
  1365.  @mlggamer5296  Domini crypto’s posting that exact response to a lot of comments here. I think he’s the bot.
    1
  1366. Because he’s in over his head. Take it from me, being in over your head can make you very insecure and afraid.
    1
  1367. No, you’re right. Gas and liquid aren’t nearly as erratic.
    1
  1368. Just because people tell you that doesn’t mean it’s true.
    1
  1369. Naw, he paid someone to make it for him.
    1
  1370. See, that’s a case of immediately knowing whose money it was. And it was a person, not a company.
    1
  1371. Honestly, his one mistake was claiming that he’d pay it back. He could be seriously charged with that if he’s found.
    1
  1372. To which I say he should spend that money quickly. Go out with a bang. Do something you always wanted to do.
    1
  1373. When Bigfoot makes his presence known. No sooner.
    1
  1374. The rich created a system to protect themselves. The poor are like fish in a giant net - this guy managed to slip through the gaps.
    1
  1375. Honestly, he’s only on the hook for saying that he’d return it. If he just took the money and ran, he’d have a solid legal case.
    1
  1376. That it is. Although frankly, his only mistake was claiming he would return it. That could be genuinely held against him if he’s ever found and charged.
    1
  1377. I'm reminded of a conversation I had with my Philosophy college professor a few years ago. It was after a lecture on "racial stupidity", and I asked him if getting overly offended on behalf of another group (I used the controversy over the Redskins' mascot as an example) counted as racial stupidity. His response was "Well... it's not an example of racial intelligence."
    1
  1378. Oh, stop deflecting to the leaker. First of all, it’s not like Ana and Cenk specifically asked them to leak it. Secondly, pay attention to the leaked (and unedited) footage. These cops were well within their rights to stop the gunman early on multiple occasions, and they didn’t. Steering our focus away from that puts your motivations on full display.
    1
  1379. That might tie into my own question: Why did they stifle their own backup? According to the border patrol agents who eventually killed the shooter, local Uvalde police ordered them to stand down… an order they disobeyed after 30 minutes of waiting and the shooter not being stopped.
    1
  1380. It is a distraction, but not wholly so. There’s clearly an overlap between people who listen to fire-starters like her… and people who commit reckless acts of gun violence.
    1
  1381. ​ @iamdclxvi  Well, physical labor isn't a thing of the past yet. We need to be realistic about the timeline. When machines designed for a particular job are slated to be ready in a few months, give the workers advance notice, and maybe have them spend a few days monitoring the process of the machine to ensure it does the job better. But until then... just don't screw over perfectly good workers and work processes.
    1
  1382. All the more reason we should be helping them adapt. Resistance isn’t always by choice; Some people want to learn but don’t know how to adapt or where they can learn.
    1
  1383. And you watched enough of their discussion to write this comment, so... what's that say about you?
    1
  1384. Think about it like this: Say you realize that your phone is missing. You go up to your brother's bedroom, knock on his door, and ask if you can come in. Hillary Clinton is the equivalent of your brother saying "You can check my room, but I can assure you I didn't steal your phone." Donald Trump is the equivalent of your brother saying "I don't have your phone! Now go away!"
    1
  1385. +Nationalist Muslim The law hasn't been around as long. It's enforcement is a little looser.
    1
  1386. +Ransom Bits Okay, but it seems to me that Trump kept him out solely because he was a reporter for a newspaper company that he didn't like. Also, the fact that Trump kept him out could imply that something was going on inside that would've made his image look even worse had the reporter seen it.
    1
  1387. Wake up from what? I think most of them understand this dynamic.
    1
  1388. No. They just all reap the benefits of living in blue states.
    1
  1389. Or… maybe he’s got something to be defensive about. Just read the first paragraph: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcin_Urbaś
    1
  1390. Well… I think the Young Turks left out one crucial detail about the guy. Doesn’t justify his pettiness, just gives it an explanation: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcin_Urbaś
    1
  1391.  @Travelbum37  Well, yeah. Now that record is only the second most notable thing about him.
    1
  1392. Well… immature as it is, he does have a better reason: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcin_Urbaś
    1
  1393. Look up “Marcin Urbas” on Wikipedia. The first two sentences might put everything into perspective.
    1
  1394. Despite his pettiness, he might have a good reason: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcin_Urbaś
    1
  1395. Maybe it was closer to the record he set for the 200-meter sprint in Poland. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcin_Urbaś
    1
  1396. Also kind of odd to leave out Marcin Urbaś’s countrywide record… which was slightly slower than the silver medalist’s time.
    1
  1397. Then in his fantasy, that person would be lying.
    1
  1398. Maybe… or maybe he had something to defend: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcin_Urbaś
    1
  1399. Well… he would have a reason to be sensitive about that. First paragraph: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcin_Urbaś
    1
  1400. Or do this: https://youtu.be/pTg7pCrfDa8
    1
  1401. Or do this: https://youtu.be/pTg7pCrfDa8
    1
  1402. Here’s what I think he’s doing right now: https://youtu.be/pTg7pCrfDa8
    1
  1403. “No, YOU have a crack problem!”
    1
  1404. What I think Mike Lindell is doing right now: https://youtu.be/pTg7pCrfDa8
    1
  1405. If it’s really happening, I’d want the school administrators to address individual cases. I wouldn’t want anyone to threaten the school while they and hundreds of children are in it.
    1
  1406. If the franchise is getting worse, it's not for the reason FOX News wants its viewers to think it is. That's their point.
    1
  1407. If you think the Young Turks are lying, you don't have to keep watching them. Unless you prefer getting your endorphins from rage instead of joy.
    1
  1408. Yeah, well... she didn't say it about the movie she planned to direct. Check 5:39.
    1
  1409. And here's how I can tell you didn't actually watch the video. Listen to what he says at 5:39.
    1
  1410. Wrong video.
    1
  1411.  @CyrussNP  She wasn't, though. Check 5:39.
    1
  1412.  @mlggamer5296 No she didn't. Check 5:39.
    1
  1413. On the contrary. Cenk did his research at 5:39.
    1
  1414. And what does it say about the people who are made uncomfortable by it?
    1
  1415. Or better yet, make it so all those dudes don’t have to work in the same tree.
    1
  1416. Don’t the Keebler Elves all live together in one tree? Pretty sure they’re not just doing it for the rent.
    1
  1417. Maybe because they couldn’t get hard the one time they needed to? Feels too much like psychological projection to me.
    1
  1418. Here's what every book after the first one makes me think of: https://youtu.be/Ctc755biT2I?t=327
    1
  1419. The only genuine answers I can think of are “go without a glucometer” and “try again with the Manhattan police department”, which isn’t the one this lady was specifically told she could receive what she needed… and might’ve just been exactly the same.
    1
  1420. The people who say “It’s just a few bad apples” fail to mention that the whole phrase is “A few bad apples spoil the barrel”. The barrel’s been spoiled for years. And the original “bad apples” might not even have been cops - it could’ve been military-style training that didn’t bother to teach them anything passive.
    1
  1421. She was a threat to the cops’ accountability. Before this, how many people knew that cops could simply refuse to give police reports to citizens requesting them if they just didn’t want to? And now, how many are aware that they’d sooner break a woman’s arm and tell her she’s under arrest?
    1
  1422. What matters is that she needed it, and the cops were more inclined to break her arm and jail her than just give her the police report she needed to receive another one.
    1
  1423. Just curious, what do you think “woke” means?
    1
  1424. No, not Nazis. Let’s not paint the wrong picture. People who’d try to normalize Nazis if they were told to.
    1
  1425. She was willing to address statements made by other cable-news hosts. Challenge the narrative of corporate media… while working for a part of corporate media.
    1
  1426. Yes. Let Fox News wipe their feet on them.
    1
  1427. Thanks to John Mulaney, I’ll never hear anyone say “Don’t you know who I am?” without thinking “I’m Strawberry Alarm-Clock!”
    1
  1428. No I'm not.
    1
  1429.  @damart1974  Willful ignorance would be ignoring the fact that Joseph, the white kid, offered to get arrested as well. The cops turned his offer down, saying that Kye was the only one resisting.
    1
  1430. Oh, plenty of people want to do something about it. Just not enough of the people who can.
    1
  1431. Remember that SpongeBob episode where he said “The sky had a baby”?
    1
  1432. Whitewashed history lessons, perhaps? That’s the only way I could imagine them justifying it.
    1
  1433. Frankly… we’re the illegal immigrants. So I don’t even pretend I have weight to throw around.
    1
  1434. Okay, okay. No need to go all caps. The couple’s been punished already.
    1
  1435. No, they’d be too tiny to even push it down.
    1
  1436. We assume pudding because that would look bad enough on its own.
    1
  1437. Oh… I always wondered what “pissing contest” actually meant.
    1
  1438. Remind me, what'd they say about it that wasn't true?
    1
  1439. I'm sure they're aware. But if you don't trust TYT... why stick around long enough to comment?
    1
  1440. Why do you think that is?
    1
  1441. You realize he’s not a furry, right? He’s a guy wearing a mascot suit because direct exposure to crowds makes him nervous, but he still wants to make his point.
    1
  1442. They haven’t.
    1
  1443. Easier said than done. That stupidity stresses bonds between friends and family, and most people aren't inclined to cut them for the functional benefit.
    1
  1444. Isn’t this called “Tall Poppy Syndrome”?
    1
  1445. They don't go anywhere. It's pure fear-mongering.
    1
  1446. You just answered your own question.
    1
  1447. 2:10 If he stopped it as President, maybe don’t imply it’s the same one going on now.
    1
  1448. I'll just repeat the idea that got floated on The Damage Report a few days ago - charge people for putting swear words and racial slurs in their tweets. Elon's appealing to an audience that just might go along with that.
    1
  1449. The importance of wearing a belt, ladies and gentlemen.
    1
  1450. If they got censored, then it was more about how derogatory they were than which way the facts pointed. The Court is 6-3 in large part because Justice Ginsberg succumbed to old age, and her wish to keep the spot vacant until after the election was ignored. As much as I hate the people who made that happen, I don’t want anyone to get killed over it - and I would get censored for implying as much.
    1
  1451. You mean a medal?
    1
  1452. I don’t hate the ad. I just don’t think it should leave anyone thinking a “Jag” is a bright-colored jacket. If a “Jag” is a car, show a car.
    1
  1453. What car does it want me to buy? I didn’t see one.
    1
  1454. And that would be fine… if it didn’t leave out any indication that it’s a car business. That’s the only part that bothers me. It gives the wrong message to people who’ve never heard of the brand before.
    1
  1455. The people who see it and mistakenly think Jaguar is a fashion line might. Nothing against the bright presentation, but if it’s a company that sells cars, they should show a car somewhere.
    1
  1456. It does have me thinking. Thinking about whether Jaguar is a fashion line or a redecorating business. Because they didn’t really specify.
    1
  1457. Moral myopia. That’s the best way I can describe it.
    1
  1458. 6:20 Who'd he say was weaker?
    1
  1459. Bernie’s not running for President right now. And back when he was, elite distaste for his progressive positions brought him down before mental decline ever could.
    1
  1460. 3:39 😂
    1
  1461. Okay. What does that have to do with anything?
    1
  1462. Here’s a good rule for gender reveal parties: They can’t be anything you need to do outside. You can do them outside, but it has to be just as easily done inside. Colored explosives, colored fumes from a crop duster that crashed, and now colored dye for a waterfall. Can’t be done inside, shouldn’t have been done at all.
    1
  1463. Or better yet, something that can just as easily be done inside as outside, so the rest of us never have to hear about it like this.
    1
  1464. Really, anything that doesn’t specifically need to be done outside. Or involve shrapnel.
    1
  1465. Well, it’s not bigotry. Glorification, sure, but stating the expected gender of your baby doesn’t imply you or that baby to be better than anyone else. In fact, when you do it like this, it makes you come across a fair bit worse.
    1
  1466. It just started off with the initiation of the King’s heir. Simba was Mufasa’s only child, a son, so of course he’d become the King. Simba’s first child was a daughter, Kiara, and it seems she will become the Queen when Simba steps down. Kion, Simba’s first son and second child, will lead her Royal Guard.
    1
  1467. It also means he won’t order the construction of a giant dragon that spews blue or pink flames.
    1
  1468. “Ah, I’ll have another one. I’m drunker when I’m smart.”
    1
  1469. Well, hold on. It's the same thing Clarence Thomas did.
    1
  1470. Listening to her makes my spine tingle. But hey, at least I have a spine.
    1
  1471. And upon learning that he didn't, a chill ran up her nothing.
    1
  1472. A fool with a hollow tube where you'd expect her spine to be.
    1
  1473. Isn't it also a "precedent" that people who knowingly lie under oath - for a government job interview, no less - get some kind of punishment? Like, how about giving them extra documentation to read and fill out before each ruling? If they haven't verifiably filled it out, their opinion on a given case becomes null and void.
    1
  1474. She makes me proud to have an actual spine.
    1
  1475. Or at the very least, forced to complete extra paperwork before every ruling. Maybe with threat of their opinions becoming null and void otherwise.
    1
  1476. Uh, no. We don’t. A suspension for getting into a fight at school is fair. But given the history behind the instigating word, students who keep saying it shouldn’t be let off the hook. Nor should a teacher who outright says a student’s skin color makes them inferior. Sorry if that’s too woke for you.
    1
  1477. That really should be emphasized. The law works both ways, and if Florida doesn’t want minorities to have that bit of leverage, they should show how difficult it is to alter or strike down.
    1
  1478. Because they’re deeply rooted in the conservative interests. Nothing short of a miracle would make them vote for a Democrat.
    1
  1479. Yeah... for what it's worth, those wrap-blasters look a great deal less harmful.
    1
  1480. 4:15 Yeah, there’s more to patriotism than just slogans and symbols. A few can help, but lots and lots of them come across as hiding a hollow understanding of patriotism… at best.
    1
  1481. They want the spotlight. If they can’t get it directly, they’ll settle for complaining about it where enough of the media can carry it.
    1
  1482. How long did he persevere? Do you know?
    1
  1483. Yeah, that's honestly what it seems like. Why else would they tell Border Patrol to stand down?
    1
  1484. Well… that’s not entirely true. I think the Young Turks did a piece about how Tucker Carlson shifted just slightly on the matter of the Uvalda police lying to their citizens.
    1
  1485. What’s worse is that the Border Patrol and Federal Agents did come, but Uvalda police told all of them to stand down. And based on one account I’ve heard, the tactical team that eventually killed the shooter wasn’t given an okay - they realized it was ludicrous to keep waiting while the local police twiddled their thumbs. So unless the police chief wanted some or all of those kids to get murdered, I have no idea why it could’ve taken so long.
    1
  1486. I heard some of them actually did have kids in the classroom. And only went in to save them.
    1
  1487. There's one detail of this story I'm still hung up on. They not only stood outside and did nothing, but told Border Patrol to stand down after they arrived. From what I gather, Border Patrol had to ignore that order to kill the shooter when they did. It wasn't just cowardice. To stymy the assistance of Border Patrol, someone in the local police force wanted those children dead. And while I await evidence to the contrary, I haven't seen it yet.
    1
  1488. "The meme is in the photo!" Now that I see it, I can't believe anyone missed it.
    1
  1489. Because they trust their audience not to notice… embarrassingly obvious details.
    1
  1490. 86 45? Why would they have a problem with that?
    1
  1491. “Honey, I just called her a punt and told her to buck off! We’re both going to look bad if you get involved!”
    1
  1492. America has become the kind of country America would’ve bombed 20-30 years ago.
    1
  1493. Did they say she had a child? Or just that she works with disabled children?
    1
  1494. I thought we already did. Why, did something give you a different impression?
    1
  1495.  @dumpling3309  I do. That’s why I say it’s not worth the trouble. Let them tell me if it matters so much.
    1
  1496. We don’t know if the person recording this was white. Then again, maybe Moe didn’t either. I say it’s not worth the trouble of assuming and possibly getting it wrong.
    1
  1497. 8:22 That is an actual town in Tennessee, btw.
    1
  1498.  @bigunity I know what you’re getting at… but do most people who catch police officers on video have the time?
    1
  1499. You think it's easy, though?
    1
  1500. Maybe they turned the bodycams off.
    1
  1501. Right, but with the dialogue muted as well, officers give themselves more wiggle room.
    1
  1502. What does any of that have to do with the point they're making?
    1
  1503. 6:28 That reminds me… back when Stephen Hawking was alive, he called Trump a demagogue, and Trump responded in a tweet “R2D2 Hawking is a terrible scientist. I love the universe. He has Lou Gehrig’s disease, but none of his class!”
    1
  1504. Well, most aren’t. I still remember that one line reading. https://youtu.be/aSujLJVda98?t=104
    1
  1505. Artificial Intelligence > Natural Stupidity
    1
  1506. Who is?
    1
  1507. It’s more that the viewers don’t care. Fox News is their comfort food, and it tastes so good that they refuse to consume anything else… or listen to anyone who points out how unhealthy it is.
    1
  1508. Especially now that their most credible reporter has stepped down.
    1
  1509. Note that Carlson didn’t send any concerned texts. Just Hannity and Ingraham.
    1
  1510. What, the same color as his skin?
    1
  1511. I think Stephen Colbert gave something similar.
    1
  1512. He’s a fair-weather tough guy.
    1
  1513. 1:12 He should stick to just running.
    1
  1514. He’s a fair-weather tough guy.
    1
  1515.  @patrick111390  No, I typed it out.
    1
  1516. The news cycle shifts where the more pertinent stories happen. The anti-abortion law affects more people here in this country, so it gets more direct coverage. Don’t worry, if Afghanistan is important enough, the news will return to it. And frankly, part of the “outrage” is that Joe Biden says he opposes the Texas law, but implies that the process for reversing it is more obscure and complicated than it actually seems to be. Kind of a big thing to overlook, or hope most Americans don’t know about.
    1
  1517. I think you’ve got it backwards. There’s no logic in supporting or getting wishy-washy over the filibuster because you think you’re doomed in the upcoming midterms… but there is logic in dooming yourself to lose the election if you keep stalling on it. It’s not lazy voters you have to worry about. It’s apathetic ones, the ones who won’t vote at all if they think Democrats aren’t even trying to slow the Republicans down.
    1
  1518. And the system that lets them in is incredibly slow.
    1
  1519. Oh yeah… getting angry over an expression he didn’t understand.
    1
  1520. Because it wouldn't matter right now. The presidential term they would've been trying to steal ended over a year ago.
    1
  1521. He couldn't think of the name, and "X-Test" is a cool-sounding placeholder.
    1
  1522. He's known for bashing people who call him stupid... or even moderately intelligent. So nobody wants to correct him when he flubs up or talks like a drunken grandpa.
    1
  1523. It's the first test he's passed in his life without outside help.
    1
  1524. No, Trump really did pass that test to prove he doesn't have dementia. But he doesn't realize that's all it was.
    1
  1525. No, he was using a caricature.
    1
  1526. If you can make that distinction, you’re too “elite” to know what’s best for working-class Americans.
    1
  1527. “Congressman” is the job that gives the most prestige for the least amount of effort… and the least amount of required experience.
    1
  1528. Caught doing what? They admitted to their part in the problem without any direct pressure. Now, I won’t give them much of a pass until they actually do something to fix the problem… but the apology seems genuine.
    1
  1529. The only thing you can't say about this art is "You get what you pay for."
    1
  1530. 1:53 It baffles me how the juxtaposition is lost on those people.
    1