Comments by "J Groovy" (@jgroovy1973) on "Jake Tapper reveals the reason Trump went to Arizona" video.

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  7. Cop - "You're reporting a theft? Who do you think might have done it?" Don - "Joe and everyone who likes him more than me." Cop - "Why do you think it was them?" Don - "Joe has more money than I do." Cop - "How much is missing?" Don - "Lots, but at least enough to make me a dollar richer than Joe. It's missing from my wallet, my bank account, under my mattress...Everywhere!" Cop - "Who had access to your bank account?" Don - "Bank employees." Cop - "Why would they commit felonies just to give your money to Joe?" Don - "They're liberals." Cop - "Who had access to your wallet?" Don - "Someone picked my pocket. I felt something brush against my butt at KFC last week." Cop - "Who had access to your mattress?" Don - "Twitter users say that Joe is a bad guy who knows burglars." Cop - "Why would they say that?" Don - "Because I tweeted that Joe is a bad guy who knows burglars." Later... Cop - "Security footage at KFC shows nobody picked your pocket. A guy bumped into you reaching for a pack of hot sauce. Your bank account balanced. Half of the tellers are conservatives, and the computers don't allow them to transfer funds that way. The bank manager checks-out. To steal as much as you claim, the bank manager would have to conspire with ten other managers where you have accounts. They don't know each other and none of them know Joe. There's no evidence of a hack. The expert you hired to monitor your online activity said it's more secure than ever." Don - "I fired his ass for giving me good news. What about my mattress? The sheets were wrinkled." Cop - "Maybe your wife did that." Don - "She doesn't sleep with me." Cop - "Maybe your dog?" Don - "I hate dogs and they hate me. Dogs love Joe. I bet a dog snuck into my house, fetched money from my mattress, and gave it to Joe." Cop - "Maybe he just earns more than you...Look, we investigated thoroughly. We have neither a suspect nor evidence of a crime. Ever consider stuff like this makes people hate you in the first place, and you should stop being a baby and a dick?" Don - "Screw you. I'm taking this to 60 courts to claim theft. I gave some of those judges their jobs!" Later... Judge - "You're claiming Joe stole your money?" Don - "No, but I saw things I can't explain. When offered logical explanations, I put my fingers in my ears and yell 'La La La, I can't HEAR you!' I'm a stable genius." Judge - "What's your evidence?" Don - "My dad paid a smart kid to take my SATs, and he scored..." Judge - "Evidence to validate your suspicions." Don - "My clownish lawyers, a drunk girl, a few real people, and a thousand imaginary people represented by these blank affidavits say I was cheated." Judge - "Case dismissed." Don's next tweet - "joe & his FAKE people definitely stoal my money. That meens he stole YOU'RE money, too!!!!!!! Police COVERD UP bc they hate me!!! Go wreck, loot..." "...SMASH & KILL at 2pm tomorrow!!!! (peacefully) <-- See, I sed "peacefully", so you can't say I really wanted folks to WRECK, LOOT, SMASH & KILL, even though I do. Joe is a commy. covfefe!!!"
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