Comments by "Ian Arn" (@ianarn) on "Jonathan Noble Esquire" channel.

  1. Yes as Arthur Jones Nautilus fitness equipment entrepreneur said when talking about weight training “Does everyone need to make everyone else’s mistakes”. It kind of applies here too.
    20
  2. “You need to fight for me! You need to fight for the relationship! Be a real man and do as i say without any negotiation to my plan.” Or what i got “i love you but it’s over as you can’t even tell me that you love me ”. Then the phone was slammed down and shared pictures of us were deleted by her from social media before i could give my explanation. Nine months of stone walling has followed but i keep my distance now anyway just not worth the endless try harder and give more for me with the constant threat of ending “the relationship” at any moment plus the romantic triangulation that became progressively worse. I’ve heard that if you travel abroad with a narcissistic woman she can just abandon you on the trip and just hook up with some guy on the trip. Highly disordered and disturbed people.
    13
  3. I’d say society is generally more narcissistic than it was in the past and that women particularly who take social media very seriously are more narcissistic but not all of my girlfriends have been as cruel as when i dated a woman who had all the possessions of NPD. I also cannot be friends with the NPD woman as she is soo spiteful and extremely petty.
    10
  4. As a man you still have to use condoms or vasectomy to a very advanced age as I think there have historically been a number of fathers even in their nineties! You can’t look at women either and think she’s to old as one guy in my gym found out when he impregnated a 49 year old woman! Naturally she said “I’m keeping it as it’s my last chance”.
    9
  5. Incredible really these emotionally unstable types have as much control over their emotions as a toddler. The intellect and body has developed but the emotional maturity is that of a small child due to childhood trauma or genetic predisposition. A tantrum in an adult can be highly dangerous however as their feelings to them are literally the facts without the ability for any reality testing. I recommend the Youtube content creator “The Little Shaman” for narcissist content, she truly is enlightening.
    8
  6. She wanted a baby after 10 months of unstable dating I said no! She went into a tantrum rolling around on her bed like a two year old. instead of trying to talk to me! After the tantrum ended she said why? I wanted to ask her questions as to why she’d contacted another man in order to go to his flat who had previously tried to hold her hand in front of me! I got the silent treatment and walked! Brutally blocked and discarded! I felt it wasn’t safe to stay as she’d kicked me really hard while I was asleep the previous night over something I didn’t do according to her I didn’t say the right thing at a party!
    8
  7. I don’t usually warn men about my malignant narcissist ex girlfriend! They think they won her in a competition against other men but she displayed all the traits in this video. They can find out at their own cost! More time invested in punishing you rather than effort to reconcile with you over non issues then they don’t have the maturity for marriage and if they’re 25 and older almost 100% never will have!
    8
  8. My ex girlfriend came out of a dance night I’d gone to with her and walked up the street ahead of me with a man who felt confident enough to try to hold her hand. To be fair she refused his advances but didn’t point me out to him that i was her boyfriend. In the end i caught up with her and led her away by hand. She said that she’d given him no encouragement or had messaged him but a month or so later i was able to access an iPhone i gave her and saw messages agreeing to meet up and dance practice in private with him. Even when i gave her opportunity to come clean about it she didn’t and i refused her pressure to give her a baby after 9 months of dating she went mad and deleted me from all social media and was dismissive of me. So I guess my gut instinct was right and she was incapable of reciprocating love. All about what you can do for her!
    8
  9. Can’t say I’ve noticed it’s got any better in my late forties! Never really found my purpose either! Sports and travelling have been good though! Money and success with women have been neither here nor there! You feel better about it all really though than a totally wet behind the ears 20 year old male.
    7
  10. My ex called me and asked “do you love me”. I said when when you throw tantrums and stonewall me it makes it really hard….. She interrupted me and said “We’ll I love you and you cannot tell me”. Well it’s over and slammed the phone down. In the 8 months of stone walling ,Narcissistic gang stalking, smear campaign and blame shifting I think I’ve met the woman I would have met In family court.
    7
  11. My ex girlfriend would dish out punishments such as later ignoring me at social events or stealing the change that the waiter would give back after I’d paid and been to the toilet. She would tag those men along and they were always so dumb to her childish manipulations. I gave her enough rope to hang herself and when she offered me a reverse discard i took it and now have gone no contact. Something told me she would not make a happy marriage or cohabitation!
    7
  12. I went home after an argument and was threatened with relationship ending which was a common threat! Been four months of stone walling and indignation! I’m guessing that if I married this person the ‘divorce’ word would be regularly thrown around as a threat!
    7
  13. I had a baby ultimatum after 10 months of unstable dating including a month apart where she messaged another man to go to his apartment! Thank goodness I didn’t go through with it as she has since blocked me on all social media and setup a smear campaign against me. When I questioned her on talking to the man even when I got back with her I was met with silent treatment. She was the prettiest woman I’ve dated but I suspect she was a narcissist!
    7
  14. If she’s high on the malignant narcissistic spectrum and has the usual black and white way or viewing their “romantic” partner that can really be a problem and i can only imagine the number of men who are shocked at the stranger they are now facing in court.
    6
  15. They can see you as a catch but still not really love you in a meaningful way!
    6
  16. Unfortunately only time will reveal someone’s true character even though their persona and physical appearance seems top.
    6
  17. I suppose avoid cohabitation as well as it seems that the court can just declare you as married if you live with a woman.
    5
  18. Some of the Red Pill crowd want it so that it’s impossible for women to leave marriage like some Islamic countries! But in Iran for example there is a high incidence of the husband being murdered by his wife’s lover as she cannot leave the marriage and so overall i prefer the system in most western liberal democracies. Is it perfect? No! Does it need reform? Certainly yes.
    5
  19. Yes again great advice! I dated a Hungarian lady and things were good apart from her weight problems. But when her sister got pregnant accidentally(after numerous abortions with the same guy I might add). She got all baby gooey and suddenly put tonnes of pressure on me to move to Hungary despite the massive drop in salary and likely prejudice I might face there. Previously her stance had been very anti living in that country although we both enjoyed visiting as tourists. I had to say an amicable goodbye to her! Good job we never married or cohabited!😊
    5
  20. I dated a beautiful pole dancer she was nearly everything I wanted in a woman but she had serious baby rabies and wanted that more than she wanted me! She frequently triangulated me with other men putting me in dangerous situations. Also launched physical attacks on me on occasions while I was asleep. First hard shoves then hard deliberate kicks. She always threatening to break up with me and was frustrated that I used condoms. I had to walk away after 10 months after she wouldn’t answer my questions on a man she’d been messaging to meet up with. I had to walk away and even though I’m given silent treatment she still follows me around at social events. Really bizarre behaviour I can only attribute to narcissism. In a way she has shown me what she would be like to divorce or co parent with(if that would even be possible).
    5
  21. I find the idea of alimony for a lifetime is absolutely bizarre anywhere in the western world at least maybe anywhere for that matter but i recognise in some countries in the world women don’t have the ability to work at all.
    5
  22. I’d just bought my ex girlfriend food in a pub and while we were waiting she continued berating me for imagined grievances and picking fights out of nothing as she’d done all week! She screamed at me “are you emotionally stable” I said sure are you “she screamed back with her teeth clenched that yes! I am emotionally stable”. Needless to say I was kinda self discarded after this! When I went back the abuse just got worse. Now I don’t date her but it’s still just total abuse and provocation if I see her at social venues.
    5
  23. Don’t let your bleeding heart rule you’re bleeding head!
    5
  24. You wouldn’t accept 50/50 odds on a parachute working if you were going to jump out of a plane would you!
    5
  25. I’ve got one at the moment who i dated for 9 months (with one month break up). I wouldn’t go along with her plans for a child in the time frame she wanted and now she harasses me at my dance group by flirting with men in front of me and sitting where i usually sit! It’s like a campaign she has looking for mud to throw at me when most of it has already been thrown. Never had a break up so malicious as this one glad i didn’t go along with her as she has shown how her “love” can turn into total spite and hatred within a matter of hours over just a slight refusal, and this has already been six weeks out and shows no signs of letting up.
    5
  26. Yes happened to me! They force you to walk away as their arguments just go round in circles and their ‘feelings’ trump all logic. You have to walk away and stay no contact! In the period of break I found messages to other men on her phone enthusiastically hoping to meet with them in romantic situations. She denied this even though I saw the messages on her phone! I broke up with her for the final time after refusing her demands for a baby 10 months after meeting her.
    5
  27. It’s only really possible to prevent this occurrence if the man is by modern standards highly controlling of his wife so much so that it would be considered abusive. It’s a prime example of where the law is highly selective in giving the advantage to one gender in modern marriage and why it is best avoided by most men.
    4
  28. Rubbish tv programmes such as “Suits” create a totally unrealistic picture of the work of Lawyers. Just glamourised crap for the most part.
    4
  29. Another excellent video to start the New Year! I’ve been guilty of smoking that hopium pipe in the past hoping that the relationship would improve after each demand was met but they just kept coming back at me for exponentially more to where they’re almost asking you to be so self sacrificing that you’re more or less cutting you’re arm off for them to meet their unrealistic time frames and material “wants” while ignoring my own.
    4
  30.  @James-ky6wu  She said if you walk out that door your never coming back as I’d refused a baby request and she threw a tantrum on her bed for over an hour and refused to answer my questions over a man she’d texted to meet up with at his flat. So i felt betrayed and just had to hold onto some of my remaining dignity!
    4
  31. I suppose if she refuses a reasonable prenup then at least it will tell you where a heart truly is! For you! Or your PIN number! If she refuses then you know it’s the latter and you can free her to find someone more gullible as her time is soo precious and she’s entitled to soo much.
    4
  32. He must be getting a great sex life if he only goes round to her place 3-4 nights a week for 15 years and isn’t marrying her and cohabitating (which can in very many cases reduce sexual frequency) with her which is what cost the previous guy.
    3
  33.  @MrsRitchieBlackmore  Yes your right! Then women criticise men and say all men are like that just because that is the type of men they’re attracted to. I’ve been attracted to several very toxic women and now have to do the work on myself and find out why i fall for these crazy women and not be codependent or feel i have to save them.
    3
  34.  @jcnlaw  Thanks with the help of your channel and others like it i intend to. I was soo embarrassed in front of all those people to be sitting opposite to a 34 year old woman with the emotional control and tantrum in public of a toddler.
    3
  35. Yes she’s nice to everyone else but you and the others can’t see that and even sympathise with your abuser.
    3
  36.  @James-ky6wu  Yes your right! I believe she has NPD! I can’t see how confronting her makes me look weak! She asked me for something life changing and so i wanted to ask her a question which she failed to answer and rather than sit in silent treatment i walked. It was obvious that she had about as much control of her emotions as a toddler!
    3
  37. Yes I dated a woman with a social media account of ‘crazy cat woman’ and in a way she warned me from the beginning. Things like piercings and tattoos are not to be ignored as colourful warning signs as found in the most dangerous animals in nature.
    3
  38.  @markymarknj  It would in some ways make sense that U.K Law is similar to that of British Columbia! I do know that if you don’t properly take the time to vet these 30 or even 40s year old ladies and you knock her up then your on the hook for child support and she can even stop you from seeing the child. Or she can act out egregiously forcing you to walk away for your own sanity. She can then put out banning orders on you approaching her and it can take up to a year with legal council and £15,000 to get some access to your child. Not really worth it in my view and hardly the textbook family unit the family laws in the U.K are horribly biased towards the woman’s favour in our secretive Kangaroo family courts! People (presumably women). Even come to the U.K to get divorced! We actually have something known as divorce tourism! How crazy is that.
    2
  39. Yes my ex is quite pretty and sexual and men think they’re really onto something and she has such a cute public persona that men and women love but in private she is like the woman in the bed in the exorcist! Really something wrong with that Histrionic woman. The first night I was with her and kissing her she maliciously started biting my lips really hard in bouts until I totally stopped. I guess she was checking me out as to how much abuse I would take from her.
    2
  40. He was dishonest really but if she genuinely loved him she would have waited for him to divorce I suppose! It’s different to someone changing their mind!
    2
  41. Already she has weaponised intimacy by withholding it so he needs to get her out of his house as quickly as possible. Definitely do not marry or even live with a lady if she breaks up with you during the two year vetting period.
    2
  42. Two years is quite a good enough time to vet. I was given 10 months recently before demand for children came up! We’d broken up once before for a month and during that time she went on holiday to a place she found out from me that I’d like to go to. She could be violent if she didn’t get her way and too social media far too seriously. It made me cold about giving her what she wanted. I would always take 18 months to decide whether to move in and only then if conflict resolution skills and communication was good.
    2
  43. Yes that’s my fear with inheritance you can be worth more to them dead and that could encourage abuse particularly if they have ever exhibited contempt towards you!
    2
  44. If you even see texts from her to another man begging to meet up in a situation that could be romantic and she claims to never contact this person then do not marry, cohabitate or impregnate that woman!
    2
  45.  @jfnuyen  Yes she had to win one over on you! She told me she took home an office chair from her old company one of those expensive swivel ones and i said surely it must have belonged to somebody! “Oh they were just there so i took it i didn’t steal it”. I said “well at least your honest in your dishonesty then”. She looked puzzled and said “well I didn’t steal it it was just there”. The irony was completely lost on her that there could have been a victim of theft somewhere unless you’d expressly asked if you could take it. She always had to be the victim in every situation or some kind of martyr or winner never the villain a total example of a ‘false self’ if ever there was one.
    2
  46.  @matcabliii  Well when you think about it women used to have 7 plus children and also take care of the man and many of them were faithful! At least more than today as venereal disease was rampant. We just have to adapt to the fact that there are very few marriageable women and not many suitable for a relationship that might last a couple of years and be stable enough to contemplate putting children into her. At some point I reckon she’ll direct hoover me also but she would have to ‘punish’ me also as that is how her covert narcissistic histrionic character is. Best just to keep away and build your interests up.
    2
  47. My ex girlfriend would pretend to be asleep but covertly push and once kicked my backside really hard in bed always waking me. I would hear her scurry to the other side of the bed afterwards. I can only imagine that this behaviour would only escalate if i stayed with her in cohabitation and would become more overt.
    1
  48. I’d always take the condom to the bathroom basin and wash all the semen out before putting in the bin. After 9 months of non continuous dating my 35 year old ex girlfriend said “Oh do you always wash afterwards”. Looking like a disappointed entitled child brat at me.
    1
  49.  @nosolar2023  yes I explained that to my 35 year old ex girlfriend! She was talking about not seeing me for 3 months(as if I wouldn’t know what she’d be up to in that 3 months). I said well whoever you do go to next you will be the common denominator and she looked puzzled as if she’d had no part in her history of relationship failures and close friends who frequently had one night stands (I can’t believe she didn’t join in too despite her claiming otherwise that she was holier than thou). On an earlier split for about a month she was already texting another man to meet up with in a potentially romantic situation! When she should have been wanting to contact me and resolve things with me. She had the attitude that if it’s meant for you it will find you! (So he needs to bloody chase). She posted the song “ when everything is wrong we all move on” on her social media to display her throwaway impulsive attitude. I’m sure she was a covert narcissist as she used a lot of language you’d expect only a psychiatrist to use.
    1
  50. Even if you marry her in say for example Thailand and as a man you get to keep the building rather than the land (which foreigners can’t own in Thailand) she can do a deal upon breaking up with you to get some of their highly corrupt Police to arrange a little ‘suicide’ for you. Not worth marrying anywhere abroad in my view. Maybe just for a nice holiday but that’s it!
    1
  51. I thought this video was interesting for those in the UK but anywhere from USA Canada and Europe. In the UK there is no such thing as a pre-nup so you might want to very seriously consider whether marriage or even cohabitation is for you. Although the other partner cannot automatically take your property if it is all in your name when you bought it which is significant. https://youtu.be/WtmFX1edReU?si=4T7FokF-lXxFFYty
    1
  52.  @thomasbehrend7562  She could be very loving intermittently and make you feel like the world’s most handsome man and by far the hottest physically that I’ve ever dated but her outbursts over really small childish things such as liking a female athletes Facebook post were hard to deal with but i always felt i could fix her. In retrospect she was just trying to get rid of me for a bit but avoid the blame while she tried out another guy but i didn’t know that till i looked through her phone when i got back with her. There were many crazy incidences of total strange men turning up while i was out with her expecting something and i realised after many occasions that she’d given them a lewd glance covertly. My bag for work was at her apartment so i was a little trapped till we got back there where i left and she smirked at me.
    1
  53. For them “love” is just the infatuation stage of the relationship! Usually the first 6 months to a year for a female narcissist but it depends if she has the baby rabies phenomenon in which case she’ll be much more ruthless with fake breakups and other often unwitting men brought into the “frame” of the relationship far sooner. Can make the impending disaster easier to spot though if you watch this type of content. Real Love lasts much longer and is not accompanied by childish stone walling and silent treatment tactics, romantic triangulation with random strangers, and even on occasion violence. It is also enduring over time and not fragile to passing fancy or to things like “Well you’ve not got much planned for this year so after 6 months of dating you I’m going to behave egregiously and force you to discard me till you give me what i want ie house,baby,marriage. Then I’ll try to come back into your life after my ‘hot girl summer’ (hookups with Chad/Tyrone) having tried out possible better options”.
    1
  54.  @visancosmin8991  Well i only took her on 3 or 4 day trips but each time i was walking on eggshells to her temper tantrums, I would be triangulated with men in totally unsafe isolated areas so that she could belittle me. Frozen out for silent treatments for several hours. In between i would get theatrical sex where she would literally scream the hotel down. But in the end the drama and lack of peace and lying and total disrespect in front of other men just made it not worth it at all. She felt entitled to total commitment from me in a very short time and after only 3 months was saying things like “we’re going to be together forever”. Good riddance to her.
    1
  55. Yes I had those sensations from my ex girlfriend over very trivial things! My family members ex wife gave silent treatments and of course the abuse and cheating got to him in the end despite him providing her with a sumptuous lifestyle! He filed for divorce in Connecticut and she materially has a fantastic life that she didn’t deserve. I don’t have that type of lifestyle but I remembered how badly eggshell stuff ended for him and vowed not to end up like him!
    1
  56.  @rm6857  I was in a similar situation with my ex GF but her tantrums and one breakup in the 10 months of me dating her made me have to refuse a request for baby and she went absolutely mental. Did you get tantrums or breakups to force you into going back to her with commitment?
    1
  57.  @rm6857  How long did you ‘properly’ get to know her for before committing and seeing the changes?
    1
  58. Isn’t BPD just a form of narcissism? Even just a few of those traits and when they go ballistic when you have to say ‘no’ such as for a holiday after you already took her on one two months prior. Or an inability to apologise after devaluing you. Or a feeling of intimidation that if you get on the wrong side of her she will punish you by withholding affection and the silent treatment.
    1
  59.  @Eric-kn4yn  It’s the government and big banks that do this! They profit from a divided workforce as well as the legislators.
    1
  60.  @marriagecausesdivorce7540  threw into a rage at my refusal not to give her a baby! The previous night she had kicked me soo hard in the backside that it woke me up and wouldn’t admit that she’d done that. I was deleted within 24 hours from all social media and refused more time as “that’s all you’re getting as our time is running out”. She’s 35 years old but has ignored my Birthday completely and offered nothing in reconciliation and all this with a man she supposedly wished to father her children. It’s good that we vet these women for at least 18 months to two years before moving in with them and there can be no easily unresolvable disputes during that time.
    1
  61.  @npkrn6764  Your right! My mother and father used to have this French kid who was about ten years older than me stay for the holidays. He showed me and my father up with his cleanliness and efficiency. He was a Chemist but married a wealthy lawyer. She treated him progressively like dirt despite him trying soo hard to do everything domestically for his daughters that she couldn’t be bothered with. When the children were 13 she divorced him for a man who earned more money less of a people pleaser and told the children now we’ll have more money. I mean obviously he won’t be as financially abused but he still received plenty of emotional abuse. Only genuine burning desire can work from both parties. Not looking at it as to what can i materially get out of this person, be it property, money or even children with the baby rabies ladies. Possibly there are men who don’t mind giving children to a woman within months of starting to properly date but generally this is rare.
    1
  62. I was not aware that there was such a thing as ‘common law marriage’ in the UK. When i looked it up on Safari i couldn’t see anything. I believe it might depend how long you’ve lived together and if children were involved.
    1
  63.  @chilipepper9938  No definetly don’t gho to Asia to have a child! The relationship will just be transactional! You’ll know little of the woman’s culture and her family will be always after your money. That’s if your lucky enough to not be one of the many western men who end up “accidentally” falling from high rise buildings. Foreigners cannot own land in places like Thailand so your already being treated in a prejudicial way. Find a local woman to date and if during the two years they show any of the problems in character discussed on this channel then do not move in with them! Marry them! Or especially not have a child with them!
    1
  64.  @jonyD143  You’ll still need a stable woman who doesn’t practice stone walling and abusive measures against you or you’ll find it impossible to co parent with her should things go wrong.
    1
  65. Yes I’d like longer videos but I can see the sense of the smaller ones also for people low on time and increasingly these days….attention span.
    1
  66.  @markymarknj  thanks I’ll look for his channel too!
    1
  67. A woman in her 30s said to me ohh can’t you have a baby with a woman (she meant herself after i spoke about why i broke up with my ex) in less than a years dating. I realise it’s not fair on the guy as I’ve spent years with other men in my 20s. I had to tell her I’m afraid not! She went absolutely frigid cold despite me only trying to infuse just a tiny bit of reality to expectations. I didn’t even get into the fact that I’m a human being and although she isn’t my mother I’ll still need a woman to love me.
    1