Comments by "John Goldsworthy" (@johngoldsworthy7635) on "CNN rolls the tape on Fox News hosts' anti-vaccine rhetoric" video.

@sharlaoliver8093 Calm down, sweetie.
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Calm down, sweetie.
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@raymondwise As the dark and mysterious stranger approached, Angela bit her lip anxiously, hoping with every nerve, cell, and fiber of her being that this would be the one man who would understand – who would take her away from all this – and who would not just squeeze her boob and make a loud honking noise, as all the others had.
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@raymondwise He swaggered into the room (in which he was now the “smartest guy”) with a certain Wikipedic insouciance, and without skipping a beat made a beeline towards Dorothy, busting right through her knot of admirers, and she threw her arms around him and gave him a passionate though slightly tickly kiss, moaning softly, “Oooohh, Scarecrow!”
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@raymondwise The fairies of Minglewood, which is near Dingly Pool, were having a grand revel with flower-cakes, and butterfly dances, looking ever so pretty, while Queen Bellaflora swept her wand o’er the waterfall’s foam, making it pop like the snot-bubbles on a baby’s face.
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@raymondwise An Oxford comma walks into a bar where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.
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@raymondwise A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
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@raymondwise A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
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@raymondwise An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
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@raymondwise Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
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@raymondwise A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
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@raymondwise Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
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@raymondwise A question mark walks into a bar?
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@raymondwise A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
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@raymondwise Mary bakes the best cakes in town. She should run for mayor.
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@raymondwise A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
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@raymondwise A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
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@raymondwise Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
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@raymondwise A synonym strolls into a tavern.
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@raymondwise At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
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@raymondwise A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
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@raymondwise Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
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@raymondwise Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories.
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@raymondwise Wooden furniture comes from trees. If trees are cut down, there will be no new furniture.
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@raymondwise She strutted into my office wearing a dress that clung to her like Saran Wrap to a sloppily butchered pork knuckle, bone and sinew jutting and lurching asymmetrically beneath its folds, the tightness exaggerating the granularity of the suet and causing what little palatable meat there was to sweat, its transparency the thief of imagination.
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@raymondwise For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity’s affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss — a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity’s mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world’s thirstiest gerbil.
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@raymondwise Betty had eyes that said come here, lips that said kiss me, arms and torso that said hold me all night long, but the rest of her body said, “Fillet me, cover me in cornmeal, and fry me in peanut oil”; romance wasn’t easy for a mermaid.
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@raymondwise On reflection, Angela perceived that her relationship with Tom had always been rocky, not quite a roller-coaster ride but more like when the toilet-paper roll gets a little squashed so it hangs crooked and every time you pull some off you can hear the rest going bumpity-bumpity in its holder until you go nuts and push it back into shape, a degree of annoyance that Angela had now almost attained.
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@raymondwise As he told her that he loved her she gazed into his eyes, wondering, as she noted the infestation of eyelash mites, the tiny deodicids burrowing into his follicles to eat the greasy sebum therein, each female laying up to 25 eggs in a single follicle, causing inflammation, whether the eyes are truly the windows of the soul; and, if so, his soul needed regrouting.
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@raymondwise The Mushroom Men of Knarf were silently advancing on the unsuspecting earthlings, and their thin milky blood ran colder when they smelled spores from fungal toenail infections rising from many of the invaders’ feet, for to them it was a wondrous and shocking scent of kinship, homeland, and asexual reproduction.
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@raymondwise It was such a beautiful night; the bright moonlight illuminated the sky, the thick clouds floated leisurely by just above the silhouette of tall, majestic trees, and I was viewing it all from the front row seat of the bullet hole in my car trunk.
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@raymondwise As an ornithologist, George was fascinated by the fact that urine and feces mix in birds’ rectums to form a unified, homogeneous slurry that is expelled through defecation, although eying Greta’s face, and sensing the reaction of the congregation, he immediately realized he should have used a different analogy to describe their relationship in his wedding vows.
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@raymondwise As the sun dropped below the horizon, the safari guide confirmed the approaching cape buffaloes were herbivores, which calmed everyone in the group, except for Herb, of course.
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@raymondwise Sterben counted calcium bars in the storage chamber, wondering why women back on Earth paid him little attention, but up here they seem to adore him, in fact, six fraichemaidens had already shown him their blinka.
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@raymondwise “Hmm …” thought Abigail as she gazed languidly from the veranda past the bright white patio to the cerulean sea beyond, where dolphins played and seagulls sang, where splashing surf sounded like the tintinnabulation of a thousand tiny bells, where great gray whales bellowed and the sunlight sparkled off the myriad of sequins on the flyfish’s bow ties, “time to get my meds checked.”
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@raymondwise The notion that they would no longer be a couple dashed Helen’s hopes and scrambled her thoughts not unlike the time her sleeve caught the edge of the open egg carton and the contents hit the floor like fragile things hitting cold tiles, more pitiable because they were the expensive organic brown eggs from free-range chickens, and one of them clearly had double yolks entwined in one sac just the way Helen and Richard used to be.
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No one cares. Just saying.
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Beware of those who profess devotion to God. Their feigned piety is often the camouflage for their vileness and evil.
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@ilovejesusreignsforever585 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him will believeth in anything. - Hitchens 3:16” “Remember, if you don't sin, then Jesus died for nothing”
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@ilovejesusreignsforever585 The meme for blind faith secures its own perpetuation by the simple unconscious expedient of discouraging rational inquiry. God exists, if only in the form of a meme with high survival value, or infective power, in the environment provided by human culture. Religion is about turning untested belief into unshakable truth through the power of institutions and the passage of time. One of the things that is wrong with religion is that it teaches us to be satisfied with answers which are not really answers at all. “The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.” “There is something infantile in the presumption that somebody else has a responsibility to give your life meaning and point… The truly adult view, by contrast, is that our life is as meaningful, as full and as wonderful as we choose to make it.” “Do you really mean to tell me the only reason you try to be good is to gain God's approval and reward, or to avoid his disapproval and punishment? That's not morality, that's just sucking up, apple-polishing, looking over your shoulder at the great surveillance camera in the sky, or the still small wiretap inside your head, monitoring your every move, even your every base though.” “To be fair, much of the Bible is not systematically evil but just plain weird, as you would expect of a chaotically cobbled-together anthology of disjointed documents, composed, revised, translated, distorted and 'improved' by hundreds of anonymous authors, editors and copyists, unknown to us and mostly unknown to each other, spanning nine centuries” “Religion is about turning untested belief into unshakable truth through the power of institutions and the passage of time.” “Faith is the great cop-out, the great excuse to evade the need to think and evaluate evidence. Faith is the belief in spite of, even perhaps because of, the lack of evidence.”
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@ilovejesusreignsforever585 “That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.” “We keep on being told that religion, whatever its imperfections, at least instills morality. On every side, there is conclusive evidence that the contrary is the case and that faith causes people to be more mean, more selfish, and perhaps above all, more stupid.” “Many religions now come before us with ingratiating smirks and outspread hands, like an unctuous merchant in a bazaar. They offer consolation and solidarity and uplift, competing as they do in a marketplace. But we have a right to remember how barbarically they behaved when they were strong and were making an offer that people could not refuse.” “I suppose that one reason I have always detested religion is its sly tendency to insinuate the idea that the universe is designed with 'you' in mind or, even worse, that there is a divine plan into which one fits whether one knows it or not. This kind of modesty is too arrogant for me.” “The Bible may, indeed does, contain a warrant for trafficking in humans, for ethnic cleansing, for slavery, for bride-price, and for indiscriminate massacre, but we are not bound by any of it because it was put together by crude, uncultured human mammals.”
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@ilovejesusreignsforever585 “How dismal it is to see present day Americans yearning for the very orthodoxy that their country was founded to escape.” “Violent, irrational, intolerant, allied to racism and tribalism and bigotry, invested in ignorance and hostile to free inquiry, contemptuous of women and coercive toward children: organized religion ought to have a great deal on its conscience.” “One must state it plainly. Religion comes from the period of human prehistory where nobody—not even the mighty Democritus who concluded that all matter was made from atoms—had the smallest idea what was going on. It comes from the bawling and fearful infancy of our species, and is a babyish attempt to meet our inescapable demand for knowledge (as well as for comfort, reassurance and other infantile needs). Today the least educated of my children knows much more about the natural order than any of the founders of religion, and one would like to think—though the connection is not a fully demonstrable one—that this is why they seem so uninterested in sending fellow humans to hell.”
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@ilovejesusreignsforever585 Beware of those who profess devotion to God. Their feigned piety is often the camouflage for their vileness and evil. The worst thing to ever happen to faith was religion. Faith is the belief in something based on ZERO facts. Evangelicals are the largest white supremacist group in America. Christianity is the most anti science, anti reason, anti rationality faith system after Islam Yes, Newton was Christian but his findings were not the result of Bible. In fact he rejected everything that did not fit his Christian world view including quantum physics, equal rights to non Christians and atheists etc. “I call Christianity the one great curse, the one great intrinsic depravity, the one great instinct of revenge, for which no means are venomous enough, or secret, subterranean and small enough – I call it the one immortal blemish upon the human race.”
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@ilovejesusreignsforever585 “My belief is that, morally, God and Satan are vaguely on the same page. According to the common understanding of Satan's origins, 'holiness' is, metaphorically, frozen stiff in his veins: and at that a corrupted formula - i.e. legalism. The vital difference is that God is willing to offer grace for our sins; he delights in grace. God is the one and only holy and just punisher of sin, yes, but that is partly so because punishment for the sake of punishment is not something he loves. Whereas Satan, as the accuser, and as it is written, actually seeks God's permission to punish; he, being a seasoned legalist, delights in finding wrongs and will defy his own morality just to expose immorality. This is why both the anti-religious soul and the violently religious soul are, whether consciously or unconsciously, and sadly enough, glorifying their biggest hater: Satan is not only a lawless lover of punishing lawlessness, but also the sharpest theologian of us all. He loves wickedness, but only because he loves punishing wickedness.” “Life is meaningful; death is meaningless and religion’s greatest betrayal to the humanity is that it gave a meaning to death, it wrongly made the death as meaningful! Declaring an ultimate ‘end’ as a hopeful ‘exit’ to somewhere is the biggest crime of the religion!” “What millions believe is often just fairy tales for children! The fabrications of the past are ridiculously accepted as the holies of people! Glory lies in searching the truth not in believing the irrational legends!” “You can look at very crowded roads and experience the illusion that those roads will always exist! You may think that the religion you belong to will always exist! Then you are so ignorant that you don't know that even the traces of the crowded roads that were once used have started to be erased!” “Christians believe that God loves you sooo much... he created hell, just in case you don't love him back.”
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@ilovejesusreignsforever585 “God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? What was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us? What water is there for us to clean ourselves? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we have to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we ourselves not become gods simply to appear worthy of it?” “People don't believe in God because it's true, but because they were the victims of early childhood indoctrination.” “Televangelists preach a corrupted perversion of Christ's socialist teachings. Prosperity gospel is predatory capitalism masquerading as religion.” “Religion springs from man's feeling of inferiority.” “In order to create a hatred-free society, the upcoming generations must receive authentic knowledge about the evolution of gods. Schoolbooks must teach the origin of life, anthropology and a brief history of each major religion. Students must learn when, why and how humans invented gods and religions” “The gods we ourselves have created ruled us for centuries! What a great comedy! And what a great tragedy!”
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@raymondwise That didn't work. You should quit while you're still behind.
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@raymondwise Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."
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