Comments by "Widdekuu91" (@Widdekuu91) on "Benedict Cumberbatch as a 1920s bride? - The Graham Norton Show - BBC One" video.
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Youknow, call me crazy, but sometimes I fantasize about time-travelling onto a nightshow in..let's say 2005.
The audience's mind will be erased afterwards and they can only take 3 words of wisdom home with them on a sign (to avoid large changes to the future but to encourage a small change in their behaviour.)
Emma (that's me.) and several celebrities will then sit on the couch and spoil little secrets (not to much, as I said, everything needs to be erased again) about the future.
They can invite anyone from any year, but it is very expensive. The more they reveal, the more it costs to erase the minds afterwards.
It'll be like:
Graham: Sooooo..today, ladies and gentlemen, the celebrities on the couch will be Miranda Hart and Richard Ayoade. Áááánd we have someone from the year 2018, oh véry exciting! Let's give them a welcoming applause and let's start the show!"
everyone sits down
Graham: 'So..welcome everyone, I have to say, Emma, judging from your shoes, I see our horrible Ugg-trend won't last long, ihihihihihi. Ohh just kidding, there's probably still some around. They'd be antique! Hah hah. Okay..now..let's start with the question we're all curious about...what is the future like?"
Emma: "Eh..well..not that great. Or..well..it depends on which side you are, who you voted for."
Miranda Hart; Oh gód I knew it, there's going to be a war!"
Emma: "Not in my year..not yet...but the presidents are fighting and threatening with nuclear weapons.."
Richard:"Youknow, it's funny...we've all been excited about you visiting, but I'd rather have you leave now.."
everyone laughs
Graham: 'Is the American president still Bush?'
Emma: "Oh no...oh, wait, ofcourse..2005..eh..then I guess I first have some good news..'
Graham: Thank god, I thought my show had paid a lót of money for some depressing nightmare..."
Emma; "It gets more depressing towards the future, but the president in 2008 is pretty good. People like him, ánd...."
Miranda Hart: 'And it's a woman?"
Richard: "She said "him"..."
Miranda Hart: 'He could be a transgender, couldn't he?"
Graham: 'Will the both of you shut up, she'd going to say it.."
Emma; "Well..it shouldn't be that big of a deal, but it is pretty cool. He's black."
Richard: 'I always knew I was going to make it big! So I'm going to be president huh? What about that, Graham? Take that Miranda Hart!"
everyone laughs
Emma: "His name is Obama, his wife is called Michelle, she's going to help kids exercise more and eat healthy. And-
Graham: Sorry to interrupt, but I just háve to ask..how do the Harry potter books end?
Emma: 'Oohhh I can't tell you that! Not even with mind-erasing!"
Audience boohs and groans
Emma: 'I'm sorry, I can't. But I can assure you there'll be 7 books...and the last book will be mindblowing and awesome and it'll have nearly anything you could've wanted."
Richard: 'It's good to hear that the tragedies will only be aimed towards ús and not the book-characters..."
audience nervously giggles.
Miranda Hart: 'Can't you just put us out of our misery? What is it...will there be murders..will the Queen die?"
Emma: 'Oh..no, the Queen is still alive. But you guys will leave the EU, now you remind me of it.."
Miranda Hart gasps
Graham; We will leave the EU? But why? And what about Scotland and Ireland?"
Emma; 'Scotland will have a referendum to leave you guys, but they'll stay..'
Miranda Hart: "Jesus.."
Emma: 'Haha, but that's not the worst. Oohh..I feel bad, you guys don't want to know this..aahh.."
Richard: 'Be honest, will I be forced to become a stripper? Is that it? audience laughs Will this beautiful body be sacrificed to dance in glittery latex to fix the debts of Great Britain? Will it-''
Emma; "Noo...Richard..Oh..okay, I'll tell you. After Obama's second term..there'll be two people that run for the presidency. A woman and a man. The woman will be the most popular, but the man will be chosen by electoral college. And the man is someone that many people don't like."
Miranda Hart: "Bush reruns?"
audience laughs
Emma: 'I'll give a couple of hints. He's never been in politics before, he's a bigot and racist and very orange..."
Richard: Sounds like a provoked and angry and sudden racist Arnold Schwarzenegger? Sudden racism aside, that'd be awesome."
Miranda Hart: Is it-?'
Emma: "It's not Pauly D from Jersey Shore, hah hah..."
Miranda Hart: Who?
Emma; 'Oh...eh..no one, nevermind. It's from a show...in the future.."
Graham: Emma, whó. is. it?!"
Emma: 'He has very large towers....golden towers.
Graham; 'Is it a king?
Emma; 'Nó, he had an American show..he used to fire people."
Richard; I don't know who this is...but it sounds bad.
Emma: 'He goes like this makes face and gestures with hands 'All Mexicans are rapists.they bring crime and drugs."
Miranda Hart: 'Who the bleep says thát?! Are you serious? No, for real...áre you?
Emma; 'Yes. He used to organize beauty-pageants...he has a-"
Richard: 'Oh don't you dare telling me it's Mister Trump.”
silence
Emma: I-
Graham gasps and holds the cards against his face
Emma: It ís Donald Trump.
Audience nervously giggles, but also looks panicked. Graham twists and turns on his chair while he looks up to the ceiling and Miranda Hart shakes her head with an open mouth and holds her hands up in the air.
Richard: "Well..Graham..you certainly got what you paid for...this is more of an information-bombshell-moment than you could've ever wanted.."
Miranda Hart: 'And is he doing something to the Mexicans..youknow..setting rules or anything, against them?
Emma; 'He tried to ban all muslims from going in and out the USA...but that didn't last long. And youknow..the usual stuff you'd expect from him.."
Graham; I’m seriously struggling to continue the show here..jeesh..those Americans huh?
Emma: Well, you guys will have Boris Johnson..”
Miranda: ‘Hihi…”Johnson?”
Richard: ‘Don’t tell me he’s a unexperienced racist too..”
Emma; ‘Graham, pour everyone another drink. And get me another few glasses of water. This is going to be a long night.”
(I went a little overboard with my story. Sorry. Happens all the time.)
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+Bastielicious
Oh, well I don't have any blogs, sadly. But you can just ask :D
I have enough long stories that I once wrote somewhere haha. I've written a long one about Harry Potter that defeats Trump when they're both running for president.
Then I wrote a story (even more vague) about me in the future, crying about an old Adele who's going to a resthome. A story about British actors from "WILTY?" that try to solve a murder. Then one about Harry Potter that rescues Ross (from Friends) when he's being mugged. And a bit about the purpose of a Rubber Duck.
A song for the Mexicans, about Trump. A brochure about what Hell is like ("HellHotel has sauna, preheated toiletseats, bonfires etc.") and a 007-themed Adele-moviescript. A story on, what'd happen if the world was a classroom. And a long story about, how I think the world has begun, which involves basically every religious aspect or thought ever mentioned, plus a lot of unnecessary detail and thought from myself.
Edit; And a long story on Draco Malfoy, and what his thoughts were during the first meeting of Harry. And a song about pranking people and why it isn't nice. And a long list of my favorite things and my un-favorite things. And so on.
I'm currently working hard on a Foldermort (Folder about Voldemort) but I might be able to copy-paste some of the stuff above mentioned. xD With the risk of cluttering this part of the commentsection.
If there's any you'd like to read, just tell me and I'll copy-paste it :)
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Alright, this is another silly thing I once wrote.
Some person online had stated; 'There you have it, Colbert just interviewed a horse. I'd probably watch this man interview a paper cup."
To which I replied:
'So...I heard you're made of eco-paper?"
"Yes I am, I feel that's important nowadays. So many cups are plastic and they just get thrown out..I like to think I made a change in this world..and I can be re-used 3 times bytheway, just rinse me out or put the same drink in three times.."
"Aha, aha, and eh..did you ever feel guilty about the plastic-layer inside of you, that keeps the cartboard from getting soggy? I mean..that's nót eco-friendly...."
'Well I díd deal with some insecurities about that in the beginning..I remember thinking 'what difference does it make if the inside is plastic?' But then I learned it's not only about the inside after all...and without the plastic--layer inside, I wouldn't be able to hold the drinks that long..I'd probably collapse or break.."
'Have you ever thought of going wild and..youknow..holding..I don't know..lemonade for example?"
'Oh ever since Beyoncé made a song, I dreamed of holding Lemonade, haha! I wanted to be like those glasses youknow...that you see on tv. They always look so strong and skinny..I mean, the are seethrough, I'm just paper.. But to answer your question, I think I'm going to keep holding tea and coffee for now. That's comfortable, warm and I know how to do that. Maybe one day, I'll be recycled into a cardboard-wrapper for a lemonade-pack of some sorts...that would be cool. Or maybe the paper on the front of a plastic bottle..with the logo...I'd be honoured.."
'Really? Even if that meant you had to work together with a plastic bottle, that you'd be glued onto? Doesn't that go against your eco-principles?'
"Well, in life, there's compromises to make. And I can't álways work together with papercups, youknow, I want to see the world... So I would have no problem working together with plastic, I accept every material, even if it goes against my eco-wishes. But then I wóuld like to be glued onto a biological drink, or something. That'd make it easier.'
'Okay, wel we have time for one last question...I guess this is a fun one..did you ever made a funny mistake when you were at work?'
'Ahaha..well..yeah that's eh..funny you should ask. It wasn't me, but it was my friend Betty, the other day. We were all standing in a row, youknow, in line, waiting to be used for coffee...and Betty was chatting with me about something a plastic stirrer had said to her..."
'Wait, wait, a plastic stirrer? Like, for coffee?"
"Yeah, she can't keep herself from commenting on them..haha, she feels they're bad for the environment too..which they are ofcourse and usually people use them once, not even three times...but ofcourse they don't like hearing that.."
'No..I can imagine.."
"Anyway, she was telling me what this stirrer had said to her...and before she knew it, it was her turn. And she just stood there, with her back towards the machine-opening..and she talked and talked and at some point we heared the beeping of buttons... and it was too late! Haha...I remember her gasping, turning around and when she realised she'd missed her jump, we could only watch as the chocolatemilk was falling down in front of us hahahaha..."
'Oh wow, that sounds like an awkward moment!"
'Haha, it was! The people outside were flabbergasted, because the cup hadn't come out and Betty was just nervously pacing around, going; 'Should I go, should I jump in midway?' And we just said; 'Betty, honey, calm down, this happens to everyone once in their life. It's allright, they'll try again. Luckily, this time, she made it."
"Well, that sounds like a fun conclusion to end the show with. Thank you só much for being here. And thanks to the audience for listening, see you next time!"
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Continuation of the former story.
Emma; ‘There’s google-glasses and phones. Some people have watches that allow you to go online..”
audience and couch are mumbling excitedly
Graham: “Alright..Daisy from Bradford asks if there are new Disneymovies in the future and new Disney-princesses..”
Emma; “Yes. A lot. We’ve got Tiana, a black disneyprincess. We’ve got Anna and Elsa, although Elsa is a queen. They are from the movie “Frozen” and their song ‘Let it go” is really popular..”
Benedict: “Let it go? That sounds like a strange song. Is it a bit of a sad movie?”
Emma: “Well, it’s quite dramatic, but Bambi was as well..so. And there’s Moana and Rapunzel. OH and a Scottish one!”
James: “A Scottish princess?”
Emma: ‘Yeah, her name is Merida.”
Graham: Sorry to interrupt, Mitch from Nottingham asks whether or not we’ve become superhero’s. Like androids. Superhuman-strength.”
Emma: “Well, we have better implants for hearing-aids I guess..or..better quality glasses, I assume. I mean, they made a lot of progress there, ofcourse, but the average person is not so much a superhero, as bored and overweight.’
Benedict; “What about me, will I look alright in 15 years?”
Emma: “I wouldn’t know…I’m from 2018, that’s 13 years. But you still look great there.”
Helena: “I would like to hear more about my acting-talents as Bellatrix. Did I do a good job?”
Emma: ‘You did, yes.”
Graham: People! 2 minutes left! Quickly…David from London wants to know if he should…wait, what does this say? “Try to get elected as Leader of the Conservative Party.” Is this…”
Emma: “David Cameron, yeah. I say, do whatever you want David, I can’t decide what’s best for you.”
Graham: “Will he win then?”
Emma: ‘He will and there’s also a funny story about him involving a pig, but I’ll safe it for later.”
Graham: “Okay, last minute, quick quick! Lilith from Winchester asks whether or not there’s going to be embarrassing new trends in 2006 and 2007.”
Emma: “What a priority-question…fake tan, wristbands, duckfaces and crocs. Purposely ripped clothing, dyed armpithair, gemstones on your armpits and bits..however, most of those are not worn by common people, mainly the reality-tv-people.”
Helena: ‘What? Gemstones on armpits and-”
Benedict: “Áctual gemstones?”
Emma: “It’s called Vajazzle, there’s a British reality tv series called “The only way is Essex” and-”
James; “Ah, well that kiiindof explains it a bit..”
Graham: “I’m sorry, but that’ll be it for today, we have to stop, there’s no more time for the red chair either. Emma..can we invite you over tomorrow again, so you can tell us more about the Essex-series?”
Emma: “If you want to…sure. See you tomorrow then..”
Graham: “Okay, well everyone thank you so much for joining us, give them a wonderful applause!”
:P I acknowledge that this one is fár longer and fár less funny..or at least…I feel it isn’t as funny.
But in my defense, it’s 35 Celcius and I am melting here. xD
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I'm sortof debating whether or not I'd want to write another one of the time-travelling stories. I'm afraid it might affect the first negatively somehow haha, make it less special.
And to be fair, Trump is the biggest and scariest reveal, so that's already been done. But I might be able to come up with another, it was véry fun to write after all. It's all artistic freedom anyway, Grahams Show didn’t start until 2007.
Graham Norton show 2005.
Graham: Helloooooo everyone!
Last week, you might remember, we had a shócking and at the same time fáscinating guest from the year 2018 on the show, that informed us about.... the end of the world! audience laughs nervously, they don't remember it
We had the highest audience ratings during the show, though I know you've all forgotten that too, hihi…” Graham giggles.
“So tonight, we've decided to invite her over again to tell us more things we can forget! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome...EMMA!"
Audience applauds, Emma walks in and sits down on the couch.
"And next to Emma, we will have a new, handsome actor on the show, that has recently started to make headlines. He's a wonderful, aspiring man that you might've seen in the movie "Hills Like White Elephants" or "To Kill a King.”
Give it up for; Benedict Cumberbatch !”
There’s clapping, Benedict walks in, sits down on the couch and shakes Emma’s hand. Emma nods friendly, Benedict shuffles around on the couch.
Graham: And who’ll also be here tonight is Benedicts’ co-starring actor in the upcoming movie “Starter for 10.” He will be played by nobody less than James McAvoy!!!”
The audience claps, James McAvoy walks in and nods as he sits down. Benedict gives him a high-five and James grins widely
“And, last but not least…a woman that plays a role in Charlie and The Chocolate Factory! We also know her from Lemony Snicket..ladies and gentlemen, please welcome..Helena Bonham Carter!”
Helena walks in, she waves to the audience and sits down. She’s wearing a dark dress with black lace on it.
Emma: “Can I just say…Helena, as a Harry Potter fan, it’s só funny to see your wearing that dress now..”
Helena: “Eh….whý, if I might ask?”
Emma: “Well, because..haven’t you been asked yet? For…I mean..it’s 2005..”
Benedict: “Is she going to get married in a black dress? Have you been asked, Helena?
Helena: “No? I have-”
James: “A’right, I’ll do it then. he pretends to go on one knee ”
Audience laughs
Graham: “Do you know something we don’t know?”
Emma: “I’m..I’m confused now. You have a role in the next Harry Potter movies. You played Bellatrix..”
Helena: “No sweetie, I played Beatrice, in Lemony Snickett. Helen McCroy is playing Bellatrix..”
Benedict: “Well, that’s news! Helen McCroy is going to be in the Harry Potter movies?”
Graham: “Who else?! Emma, who else will be in the movies?!”
Emma: “Well..Helena! I swear, she’s going to be Bellatrix. Helen McCroy plays Narcissa,…oh, wait, that’s because she got pregnant…”
James: “Congratulations Helen!”
Helena; ‘She got pregnant?! Jeesh, how-”
Benedict; Well you know hów, Helena. You’re 39!”
Helena: “Oohh..don’t shout that!”
James: “Ahh..they’ll forget ‘bout it anyway.”
Graham: “I suggest we put the focus back on ourselves..” he gestures dramatically and turns his chair to Emma ‘Emma..everyone except for me has forgotten what you said yesterday , so this is a clean slate…a new fresh start, if you will. Please don’t sketch another doomscenario on it.”
Emma; “But I can’t change the f-”
Graham: “Please. It’s a comedyshow. We just want to know whether the cars can fly…”
Benedict; ‘Yeah and if there’s cool gadgets and a cure for cancer..”
James; ‘And what our career’s look like! Right guys?”
Graham: “Yes, ofcourse, we want to know what our careers look like. We’re vain Hollywood-people. Entertain us…” he jokingly makes a gesture, as if he’s poking a monkey with a stick
Emma: “Well..as I mentioned..Helena will be in Harry Potter.”
Helena: “Will I play Hermione?”
James: “Hahahahahaha!”
Emma: “As a matter of fact, you will, in the last movie.”
Benedict coughs, spits out a piece of grape he’d taken from the fruit table and looks at Emma.
Emma: “I’m not going to elaborate on that, that’ll only take more time to erase it again..”
James: “Wait..so Helena will be playing a 16-year old?
Helena: “I can defineately play a 16 year old..’
Benedict: “If anyone, then you Helena, I’ve seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and you’re a wonderful-”
Emma: “Sorry, but I’m gonna continue, we’ve only got about 20 minutes left. Okay, so, nó. In 2018, there are nó flying cars, nó cure for cancer, but there’s a ton of needless gadgets and your careers are all going great.”
Benedict: “Oh, my parents will be proud.”
Helena: “Well..maybe you’ll be a parent and have children, by then..”
James: “Ah that’s a scary thought. Are we still actors? I hope I play Jimmy Johnstone one day..”
Benedict; “Wait, how gréát will my career be? What do you call “great”? I just started and-”
Emma: “You’re in Star Trek, Avengers, The Hobbit. You play Vincent van Gogh and Stephen Hawking-”
Benedict; ‘Are you describing my career up to 2018 or up to the year 3018?”
Emma: “And Sherlock Holmes.”
Graham gasps, Helena puts her drink back without even taking a sip, to listen
Benedict; “No...not true.”
Emma: “Absolutely true.”
Benedict; laughs uncomfortably I refuse to believe it Emma, I-”
James: ‘And will I be in it as well? I mean..c’mon Benedict, we’re in a movie together for heaven’s sake… he leans towards Benedict and puts an arm around his shoulder I bet I’m in it, right?”
Emma: “You’re in “Sherlock Gnomes”…with gnomes that disappear-”
Helena Bonham Carter laughs out loud and spills her champagne all over the carpet
Emma: “I’m not kidding! You’re also in X-men though…and MacBeth..”
James: “What?”
Emma: ‘I said “MacBeth..”, you are in the-”
James: “I still didn’t quite catch that.”
Graham: “Nó! Dónt! James, we just heard our careers will be magnificent! How dare you tempt our faith nów?!”
audience laughs, James laughs as well.
James; ‘Yeah, but Benedict’s story sounded more exciting..”
Emma: “Oh, that reminds me, you guys are going to be opposed to Brexit together..” she points at Benedict and Helena
Helena: “What’s Brexit? Is that a brand of make up?”
Benedict: “Brex-factor? No, that’s Max-factor.”
Emma; “No..no, it’s-”
Graham Norton: “I remember what it is, you mentioned it yesterday, briefly. Don’t scare them too much.”
Emma: “It’s eh..Britain will vote on leaving the EU or not..and you guys are opposed to leaving.”
James: “Right…and while they save the UK, I’m still hunting gnomes for the movie or something?”
Emma: ‘No, there’s also a referendum about Scotland’s independence.”
James: “…wha…what are you saying? Is Scotland going to leave the UK?”
Emma: ‘No, but-”
Helena: “And do you already know íf we wíll leave the EU?”
Graham: “Emma, Emma, stop sharing those amounts of info. Guys, remind yourselves that there’s no way of stopping what’ll happen in 13 years.”
Helena: sighs and waits for a couple of seconds “Sure..alright. Is there anything nice that Britain does, in the future?”
Emma: “Well, you guys have Adele…” She grins widely
Benedict: “Ah-delle? Is she a new princess or Queen?”
Emma; “You could say “Queen”, haha, but no, she’s a singer. She’s currently still in school…I think., but she’s a woman with curves and looks a bit like a deer, with brown eyes, long lashes and she’s really graceful. She’ll sing for a James Bond movie, Skyfall.”
Graham: ‘Emma, there’s 10 minutes left, we need to get some quick and short answers from you now. And then we’ll end with the red chair.”
Emma: ‘I’ll see if I can do that, quick and short answers have never been my-”
Benedict: ‘We noticed that..”
Helena: Well, I think it’s informative and we should appreciate-”
Graham: ‘People! …alright, the following questions have been chosen by people in the audience. There’s no time left to walk around between them, so I’ll just read them out loud.”
Emma: “Right..”
Graham: “So…Jeremy from Southport asks…”
James: “James from Glasgow asks..have you seen any lost gnomes?” he pulls a sad face and gestures like he holds a magnifying glass, the audience giggles
Graham; “Jeremy asks…will I be able to go on the internet with my body instead of my computer?”
Emma: “Eh…does he mean, using his body or does he want to put his body ín the internet?”
Helena: “It sounds concerning either way…”
(More in the next comment..)
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