Hearted Youtube comments on Hysteria (@hysteriapodcast) channel.
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I remember a moment in high school. I played Bass Clarinet (i was very good, later went to college for it at a very good school) and we were in rehearsal and the band director kept saying, "Snoozems, you're not getting that right." I definitely was...He proceeded to call me out a couple more times, so I spoke up, "I'm not messing it up, it's (2nd chair)." He then stopped rehearsal, started laughing the weirdest most awkward guffaw, then said to me, "it's not funny Snoozems." And I don't know what happened, it was that like time dilated and that moment that usually happens way later when you finally think of what you should have said, happened right then, "I'm not the one laughing, sir, you are."
Oh man, shit hit the fan. I was taken back into his office and he proceeded to berate me about how I shouldn't be so disrespectful and now I've ruined the day because everyone was wondering what we was happening in the office instead of focusing on rehearsal....and the fucked up thing is I STARTED TO ACTUALLY FEEL BAD. This adult man, who went out of his way to pick on me in front of all my peers, for something I wasn't even doing, had managed to make me feel bad about standing up for myself, because my whole life I'd been conditioned to roll over any time I'm shouted at by an adult....
But that was all inside my head. I still, 20yrs later, think about that moment I defended myself and how good it felt.
Fuck teachers who pick on children.
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