Hearted Youtube comments on Sue Ribelle (@SueRibelle) channel.
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Oh man - I felt every. single. word. in this video. Thank you for making such an honest video diary, Sue. First of all, your English is terrific👏👏👏 Secondly, don't be embarrassed about your situation; it's not unique. I'm 39, went to college, got a job and worked my way into Digital Marketing just like you. I've been laid off 3 times, had to live with roommate in order to try and build up my savings, and now I'm living in my parents house trying to get out and get my independence back. It used to be easy to buy your first starter house. Now, everyone is moving back in with their parents. I see so many people doing the same thing. Only now am I learning about investing. Inflation is getting worse, jobs are not hiring ( I know someone who has been looking for a job for a year.) All the economies are failing. I feel like we're all in the same place. So don't be embarrassed. You'll get back your independence and we're very lucky to have our parents help. All we can do is keep trying. The universe must reward this effort. And yes, employers can be very vile.
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Higher Education, in the biggest part of Europe, is practically free, I would suggest anybody that has the time and the basic means of living to put the effort to get a degree.
It's not just the piece of paper, its the mental effort, the critical thinking development, the research, open your mind to new things, etc. Plus, the friends and uni life you can enjoy as a young person. And in the end, the personal achievement and pride.
Then, it's down to the individual person how much want to chase a career in the subject chose to study. Certain job positions, for example, are simply not accessible without formal qualifications.
And it's a hard truth, that people see you differently, once you have some form of higher education.
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I moved back in with my parents two months ago, and I turned 31 a few weeks ago. I tried university a few times in the past, but it didn’t work out because I didn’t know what to study. Instead, I worked jobs in different fields. I was content, but I wasn’t truly happy.
Recently, I realized I could keep going down this path, but I knew I’d regret it. I felt it deeply in my whole body, and it made me very emotional. Over the past two months, I’ve been journaling every day, and I’ve learned SO much about myself.
I’ve decided that I’m done living just ‘content.’ I want to take risks! So, I’m going back to university at 31 to pursue a bachelor’s degree in Networking. I might even share my journey on YouTube to inspire others.
Thank you for sharing this, Sue! You truly inspire me.
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It's a whole different issue in the US/UK, but in the EU I feel like there's still an expectation to make the effort to get a degree in almost any area since it's free. E.g. my brother does programming (+economics), one of the areas people always put on the list of jobs you don't need a degree for and he's told me that in most major international companies that pay well, for entry positions you're expected to have an MA degree, work experience + knowledge way beyond what your education can offer. It's not that it's impossible to get the job without it, but it's going to be much harder. I studied Anglophone literatures and lang. and there's absolutely an expectation you'll have a degree+ a ton of experience to get any serious work as a translator. And now with everybody pushing AI and MT postediting, the whole area is going downhill. So now I'm close to finishing my second MA in psychology. I'm planning to become a clinical psychologist, so I'll need to pay for a five year of accredited psychotherapy training (almost 20k eur) + while also working under supervision in a hospital for 5 years at the same time to get to the final board exams. You're pretty much guaranteed to get a well payed job afterwards, but the process really does suck. My parents both work jobs payed directly by the state (public education and administration), and here a degree also authomatically qualifies you for a higher salary tier. So sure, there are great jobs you don't need a degree for, but there's still a surprising number of those where having one helps a ton 😅.
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You said he is borderline or BPD, but then as you started to say things about him, how he was actually and how he changed, day and night senario, I actually think just based on what you said that he has manipulative tendencies and might be sociopath, only those people can act like that. And the thing about you leaving and finding a means for you to be self sufficient was a way how he couldn't manipulate with you so he wanted the right opposite and since he could be a sociopath he played it from the getgo, which is kinda scary to think of. Since you stayed and returned to him multiple times and almost lived with him in a polygamic relationship could have something to do with abandonment issues as you stated, but also it could be manipulation from his side, that he said over and over again that you are worth nothing and you can leave, he doesn't cared about you that are things normal people just don't say, and he acted this way when you wanted to leave him. Those people can be also egocentric and narcistic as many stated which he was and is.
Simmilar people do attract each other, so he could have some autistic traits or an higher intelect.
I wish you could find a way how you can trust men once again, that they are not thad bad of a kind, because you found a manipulator and a sociopath in one person.This video shows that you are still not absolutely ok, but its a good way at least to get it out and show us that you went a long way to delth with it and also this video has its part in it.
Just saw this on psych2go
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIRGoZBhRtI
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I was a German in Montreal with 28/29 in 2018/9. Companies only had three month long contracts, took French classes, went to therapy, struggled with my room mate and the Canadian government did not open the visa pool. It was so much stress. The irony was, that a Turkish, a Mexican woman and German man fired me. The vibes were so BAD at the company. When I asked about a visa extension, I was barked at "YOU ARE GOING TO GERMANY IN 3 MONTHS AND WE WON'T DO ANYTHING, NO NEW VISA."
Now I am back to Germany for the past 6 years. Working in tech, permanently employed, making enough money to come back every now and then to Canada AND enjoy it. Not living from contract to contract, not facing ends of visa and work permits. 2019 was my worst year, 2020 got better with software developer job and here I am today.
You have dodged a bullet. See it as a blessing. You do not want to work there. You will get better opportunities, I am sure about that.
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Great video. Indeed, some of the wealthiest people never obtained university degrees. Moreover, with the abundance of free information available online today, it’s possible to learn highly practical skills on your own, often surpassing what you might gain from a traditional university education. That said, many fields—like those mentioned in the video—do require more formal education.
Unfortunately, university degrees and certifications have become a sort of "passport" for securing jobs in many companies, which is why people are often willing to invest significant time and money to earn them. Ultimately, it comes down to doing a cost-benefit analysis to determine whether pursuing a degree is truly worth the effort, time, and expense in your specific situation.
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I perhaps saw myself in you when you started telling your story. I studied something way different and after University, I started translating to German and also from English. I started doing subtitles, and it's still my main hobby today, and I love doing that. However, it can't pay my bills, and I'm also not good at what I have studied because I kept doing it part-time because I haven't found joy in it. I also worked at translations and now with ChatGPT and everything, I don't know what I'm doing with my life. Btw, I'm still living with my parents, few years older. I also love to communicate with people. Recently, I'm considering if I could work somewhere in a customer service position, or I don't know what else I could do, perhaps also something that I had studied, but I'm quite not sure if I'm able to do it with interest. I would send you something but I have not enough on my bank account and I need to pay my bills also, still don't know where I will be working this year, but I need to find out soon. Hope things go out for both of us, fingers crossed.
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Life is already hard and exhausting to care for someone emotionally. I feel that deep in my soul. I'm 29 years old, still living in parents house, and single. Currently working in a low-wage job, worked overtime, (sometimes i'm working on sundays), and no savings. The reason why i stayed with my parents because the rent and house prices have skyrocketed like crazy. You can barely survive if you live outside, most of your savings will lost through rent. I don't even know if i can start a relationship, let alone starting a family, and worse, having a kid with my current financial situation. I don't want to have my family in my parents house, i need to move out and have my own environment.
Reflecting to my early career years, i regretted that i never save for my retirement, and a bit money to return anything that my parents has gave me. Now i'm barely survive, let alone supporting other financially. But the most important thing is, we realized our wrongdoings in the past and learn. It's time to start again, and hope the best for our future. So many people in their 40s haven't learned anything, we should be grateful that we finally wake up and learn anything sooner.
I wish the best for you, Sue.
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Hi, thanks for the video. I understand not wanting to work if you feel you’re not valued but it is a privilege to be able to walk away, and not many can afford to. Years ago we just called it the rat race, but these last few years, globally, it has become acceptable to have the option to decide to say no and walk away - that’s ok, I respect that, but getting back in to work is harder than ever, way way harder than when I started out 25 years ago after Uni. I wonder if being out of work is more or less stressful than being in work but not enjoying it (I’d say the latter is less stressful) So, what to do. Be wary about relying on YT to save you, for most it can’t be sustainable. Train yourself, using the internet for free, in a new field instead. If I was you, I’d pick the very same field of work that actually killed your last career - AI - that is where all the jobs will be. Sounds impossible, but anyone can do it, and for free. Once you get one gig, you’ll be working from home, making some good money. Spend a day googling the subject to dip your toe in, you can download free tools to start your journey. Not all require extensive code experience because the range of work is vast, but if you teach yourself to code, the world is your oyster. I think Harvard publish free courses these days, so you can learn from the best. Good luck.
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@SueRibelle you are absolutely right, they suck our energy, i'm considering it, remove her once and for all but sometimes i wish i could have some kind of revenge, don't know what exactly, but i think i should let this go. And hey, thank you, all the best for you too, i love listening to your stories and thoughts, a big hug from Brazil and keep going the good work, you'll be alright
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Dear Ayşe,
First of all thank you so much for taking your time sharing your story with us.
Know this my dear Ayṣe, You’re a wonderful high value smart well educated woman that deserves all the best, and I send you much love and hugs, as a support to you, I also ask the universe and the Devine to fulfill your dreams and aspirations ♥️
I actually came across your video accidentally.. well I guess it’s the modern technology that reads our minds that suggested this specific video to me ( algorithms ), or maybe as you said, we’re connected energetically as spiritual beings.. who knows?
Ayşe, let me tell you this, I went through a similar experience last year, except for that I didn’t attach myself to the person due to my secure attachment style, so I called him out for his bad behavior, and left him after the first spiteful message which was full of anger & pain from his part.
Just like you, I did think my connection was a twin flame connection, I felt a tremendous familiarity with him, a feeling of home, felt like I knew him from a past life or something, and that made me believe that our connection was a Devine connection, and went through a hard time because of the turbulence of it.
But let me tell you this, a while ago, I saw a video connecting between the twin flame dynamic, and a specific relationship typy between an avoidant attached person and an anxious attached person, a dynamic of a runner and a chaser, mouse and cat, push & pull dynamic, now me not being anxious, I didn’t chase, I left him and still trying to move on, I try to be rational and logical more than spiritual at times, especially when it comes to this type of a connection, or any other human connection, why? Because I am a spiritual person, I’m an empath, so I try to balance my emotions with my rational thinking.. meaning balancing heart and mind, trying to be more grounded and steady, this is important in order to let go of the guilt & remorse that we empaths have, and also to let go of the attachment to the so called twin flame connection or person. Just like you, I watched a ton of videos about avoidant attachment style, and how to help an avoidant, but guess what? By time I realized it’s not worth it! We empaths are not here to fix broken individuals who don’t care about healing themselves! We can help and nurture them only if they’re open to it, but we shouldn’t insist on it if they’re rejecting any help, let alone if they reject us to begin with. So my advice to you is to work on yourself ( self development ), work on healing ( just like you’re doing ), love and pamper yourself more.. and move on! You can do it, I see that in you and I trust you! 💪🏼👌🏼
Thanks again for this valuable video🥀👌🏼
Last note: Look up trauma bond, some people mistake twin flame connection with trauma bond.
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@SueRibelle Sorry, I just realized very recently, like a few days ago, that I could have ADHD. I've been on my discovery path for the last half a year, so I absolutely hadn’t realized what consequences 😆 it could have to write it like that. I just thought I was aromantic, but then bam, not only that. It's really interesting, though, how focus-driven you can get. And also how openly you talk about things. Perhaps that's also one of my traits. If I had a channel, I wouldn’t have any secrets, but that’s perhaps not the best trait for functioning in society, but apperently its a thing, idk.
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You are at a crossroads in your life. You are realizing that you have nothing, and have not invested in anything to prepare for your future. This is very important, so don't let this opportunity go by without starting to make plans for a more fulfilling life. Some people never do, and while they have a roof over their head now, they will not always be young or able to work. Because of that, we should prepare for our later years. I was in my 50's and in your situation. I was able to work things around where I got four houses, not all at once. I live alone, and I had no one to help me. But fortune smiled on me, and I am now debt free with two properties. But it wasn't easy. It was years of being in serious debt, stress, dealing with tenants, etc. Find your niche, your own business perhaps. Don't spend it all on new cars, expensive insurance, trips and other luxuries. It is the only way to get ahead.
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I am 17, living in London. I have worked since 16, and so far have saved up about £3,500. I have offers to study from the best universities in the country, and have an internship lined up for this summer, before I even start university. However when I try to think about the future, it scares me. In the UK there is a cost of living crisis, and most people are living essentially paycheck to paycheck, and I do not think anyone in my situation can even dream of owning a house in the future due to how expensive everything is. I worked my way from a crime ridden school where one of my classmates killed someone, to one of the best colleges in the country.
I feel like I am more fortunate than most people I am around, and yet I still fail to see a future where I can comfortably afford to live. When I finish university I will probably move abroad unless the situation in the UK improves, and even then I will probably worry about money. The amount that I have been able to save up over one year is just enough to cover 2-3 months of rent in the outskirts of London, not including any other living expenses I will have.
I hope you find a way to fix your situation. It seems like since 2008 everything has been getting progressively more difficult for everyone, and I hope anyone in a similar situation can work a way out. Best wishes to everyone.
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I see my past self in you. And I’m also a Leo. Our story is quite similar, but I was in the finance field. I guess the corporate world is always like that—manipulative and draining our energy, health, and mental well-being. I worked for 12 years, burnt out, and restarted my life three years ago at the age of 34. I started Etsy and Amazon KDP. Now I'm living my dreams as a solopreneur and aiming to be debt-free by December 2025.
The corporate life system isn’t for everyone, especially for people like us who don’t want to follow the 'normal' struggle way of living. (I’m from Malaysia, where the minimum wage is even lower—around $400.)
You can succeed with your YouTube channel. You already have experience in the marketing/social media field.
Patience and persistence are key. We Leos are determined, confident, and resilient, so we can rise above challenges and achieve great things.
Good luck, Sue!
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