Hearted Youtube comments on Lisa Bilyeu (@LisaBilyeu) channel.
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omgoodness 8 mins in and I am floored. Whether you own a business or are in some or work scenario, this totally applies.
1. Humble yourself and ask for help
2. You are beautiful or handsome :)
3. Forgive yourself and forgive others
4. Wealth is not just about money and material possessions. Wealth is about well being in every area of our lives
5. Take care of your vessel.
The fifth pilar - take care of your body now. Sacrifice now, go to bed early, wake up early, hit the gym, eat better
6. Support other people. Relationships are important
7. Be present
8. What good is it to be a public success but a private failure...wheeeww
Nah this woman is dropping too many bombs
9. The space pillar...clutter is the physical manifestation of chaos in your mind! Get organized
10. Exercise the saving muscle regardless of how much you make or save. No more excuses
11. Words are powerful. Be mindful to use positive words for your life. Focus on what you want.
Hold on, pause, this is coming too fast. rewind back to point 5 (@ 27 mins)
12. Let go of bad habits. Build good habits. Who are you becoming. Claim your goals
13. Be ready and willing to downsize or sacrifice to meet the goals you have set for your future.
14. If you are single whoo hoo, you can do this, if you are married, Communicate, communicate, communicate
15. Celebrate milestones and enjoy life as much as you can.
16. Hmmm the Brag binder - save the thank you emails, performance reviews, acknowledgements, thank you cards to read when you need a boost and for negotiations
17. Do not compromise your values and your voice for money.
Please add your points or what you got from this amazing interview.
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When I discovered my ex-husband cheating, my brother said I should consider it an act of war and proceed accordingly. I fought that a long time, I rationalized it, empathized, tried to "save" the marriage, until I was nearly completely crushed. So, take it from someone who needlessly suffered and barely survived it -- cheating is like Pearl Harbor or 9/11. You didn't expect the attack, but you damn well better get off your sad a$$, face it for what it is, and fight. The sooner you do that, the better you'll fare. Defending yourself, defeating the enemy, raizing the rubble, and rebuilding on new ground are your only chance of having any kind of life again.
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OMG. I am DIGGING THIS SO MUCH! I have spent my whole life trying to NOT be intimidating, because that's how people view strong, honest women. I'm a total goofball, and I love harrrrrrrrrd...and I'm protective of people I love and people I view as vulnerable to bullying. I will gladly step into the middle of something if I feel like someone is being treated unfairly...
BUT...
I'm really terrible at sticking up for myself. I put up with an unreasonable amount of shit BECAUSE I see myself as resilient, and I (due to insecurity) take time to evaluate any criticism or accusations toward me, to see if they ring true, but now I find that I am more likely to shoulder the consequences in order to alleviate the discomfort of my audience. Evy is a perfect friend, because she takes no shit, but is also thoughtful and considerate when rejecting bullshit. I am inspired. I hope Audible has that book, and that it is read by Evy, because her voice gives me strength, and I have several credits to use.
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I agree with everything she's saying. You have to find yourself first, embrace yourself, heal yourself, give yourself the love, the comfort, everything you deserve mentally, spiritually, physically, materially ...and then a DESERVING partner will be the "icing on the cake". No desperation here. We are older, single, and thriving queens. If it takes 10 years for that deserving person to find me, so be it...but I am NEVER settling again. NEVER. I will continue to raise my beautiful daughter as a single, beautiful, accomplished, healed mom.
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I am crying with her.
I'm not even half way through. This woman is me. I am her. My mom will never say she is sorry and I'm learning to live with it. I'm learning humility. I'm learning to let go and allow god to enter and do his work, cuz he does it better than me, for sure. This is my story. My "singing" was professional writing and Literature/Philosophy Academic research. I did it all. The running away from a family that in the best case - doesn't support you, in the worst case - abuses you. I ran straight to the arms of men who needed fix. One by one I "fixed" them, I've opened their hearts, and was either abandoned or drained to the point of running again. She is so so accurate. It was only when I had finally gained the currage to persue my dreams (aka being that BOSS, cuz when you do what you love and what god intended, when you're aligned to your path - you're in your element and its like suddenly you have wings, you just.. fly) - Only when persuing my dreams and fulfilling my calling - everything started falling to place. Through complete breakage - but this is how the phoenix rises, only from the dust.
I got married 3 months ago at the age of 37 to the best friend I have ever had. Now I need to figure out what my dreams are all over again 😂😂😂 and it's hard. but now I have me, so I'm doing this journey out of curiosity and at ease, and not out of survival, running.
God bless you, Lisa. I am dying to start my own channel and share some of my experience too. Preying for guidance and patience.
❤
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I am soo thankful for this Channel. This is where I get my womanly advice. (That I didn't have it growing up.) This is JUST WHAT I NEED!!!!! I love this couple (Lisa and Tom) and how inspiring they are. They plant all these wonderful seeds for my mindset, my personal growth, my relationship, my body, communicating skills with MYSELF as well as others. The seeds that I have to water and feed so I can grow into MY OWN SELF. They are a huge IMAPCT on me. I don't know if it is just me that finds Lisa Bilyeu soo wise, smart, intelligent and cute. I love her style and find it doo sassy!😜(I ALSO LOVE HER ACCENT) I find myself asking myself in certain situations "what would Lisa bilyeu do?" or "how would Lisa bilyeu respond?" (in her accent) (so serious) Sometimes I find it hard getting out of my own head, my own stubbornness and getting out of my own way. This too, is a journey. It's a process. I'm trying to do to better myself, for my life, my mindset, my confidence, self-esteem, health and self-awareness. So I can be better and make a impact in a good way on my children and husband. Thank you for your impact.👍
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I’ve never heard of Patrice Washington before but she definitely brought some tears to my eyes. So incredible. She is beautiful inside and out. Her story brought forth many issues we have as women - society, family or not, claims the right to comment on a woman’s looks and behaviors and and we are supposed to change to accommodate impossible standards. Plus, with women of color, being “dark” to the point of wanting to wash it off, ugh, so heartbreaking. Too thin? Gain weight but not too much., Too tall, shrink yourself but please, girl, be confident. Speak up but not too much. Wear makeup? You’re full of yourself. Don’t wear it, you should really try to put some effort into your appearance...all impossible and completely conflicting standards. 🙄 She is so right, create your wealth inside yourself. I love this woman. Thank you, Patrice, for sharing your voice and skills with the world, being as beautiful and strong as you are and frickin owning it. Our struggles certainly can become our strengths and you are wearing yours well.
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I do want to point out one flaw in her logic. She says that there is a study where the most well-liked popular kids, also happen to like the most other kids. And she is trying to say that this means that if you like a lot of other people, it’s going to make a lot of them like you back. But this study is not necessarily accurate because it’s reasoning is flawed. It assumes that the popular kids liking the other people is what made the other people like the popular kids. But it’s also possible that the popular kids only started liking the other people after they already liked them, meaning that because people like the popular kids, he/she then feels good about himself and society in general and likes others. Imagine, a kid that’s really ugly and fat, and nobody likes him. Even if he liked everybody else, they might still not like him back. I know that sounds harsh but it’s a possibility. But I do think that liking other people HELPS... it’s just, not always gonna work. Your looks matter too. This girl in the video has a naturally likable soft face. Some girls have mean or ugly faces and even if they are likable personalities sometimes people might not like them based on appearances only. Some guys/girls have thin noses, narrow eyes, strong jaws and just look “meaner” and “unfriendly” even if they’re total sweethearts inside. Some people look like total dweebs/nerds and will be treated as such bcuz of that
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Selfish defined: (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure. Either way, the choice to have, or not have, children is selfish. Having a child will bring YOU what? Not having a child will bring YOU what? The decision is all about you and/or your partnership and/or what you expect to get from the choice.
Also, the expectation for women to reproduce is there. I work in healthcare and get asked DAILY if I have children, or assumed “when I have children in the future”, etc. If you have a vagina, it’s an expectation. I make women, specifically women, uncomfortable when I say we are not having them and we don’t want to. Some cringe and walk away, their eyes immediately dart to avoid eye contact, etc. It makes me laugh (inside) because I’m assuming they have never considered it an option. That part is sad. I love it when people ask “what does your husband think!?” 🙄 1) he isn’t the boss of my womb and he made a choice over a decade ago 2) He knows us and has known us. If he had a problem with it he knows I would let him have that special life of fatherhood and I would let him go. It was a dealbreaker for dating, it’s a dealbreaker in our marriage. 🤷🏼♀️
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Evy sounds and seems like she's empathic - a huge asset in dealing with people, and I wonder if she knows she is? The only reason this matters, is because empaths have more mirror neurons in the brain and therefore have a deep sense of empathy, allowing them to relate to people more (in reading them, in feeling what they're feeling/thinking, anticipating reactions, planning emotional strategies, knowing your audience and being able to adapt you "version" of yourself as she says) -- this means that the majority of people who have the average amount of mirror neurons in the brain, will have trouble transformatively learning the skills that she is referring to... it would be very difficult. More specifically, she seems to be an extroverted empath, who are even more rare and they have the ability to genuinely not let most of the stuff that gets to other people, get to them. They are born with extra "armor" then the rest.
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Oh thank you. I am crying. Exactly. Me too. Me too was taken advantage. I felt need desire to be a marvelous scientist, acknowledged, good, part of team, valued. And my two boss took advantage he has gaslighting ways. It was very hard to get out of it. I turned to meditations, wrote journals and kept asking myself why. I left to work on a different department, though still continue collaborationon some projects. My old boss is furious. One day is talking sweet to me, how important i am to the project, next day he attacks me in front of my team. I fight back, noone is going to treat mw like that. Poor guy, i only have pitty for him.
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Happiness, Health, Love, & what’s waiting on the other side... Personally, I just think I have nothing to lose but so much more to gain in believing God. When I die, and find out that there is indeed no God, then I still wouldn’t have any regrets because believing in God now made me a better person. On the other had, when I die, and it turns out God is real (for me God is Jesus), then everything would just be so worth it. I read a lot of books about NDEs (Near-death-experiences) and almost everyone no matter the culture or religion, report back seeing the same things. I don’t know why. But there must be Someone up there looking over us. My favorite NDE book was “Embraced by the Light” by Betty Eadie. She was just as clueless and confused about God like most of us. But on the unexpected untimely death of hers, she saw what she didn’t even knew she was searching for her whole life. We are all on this path to find our Higher Power. It could be different for everyone. But one thing I’ve heard from someone that I’ll never forget is that.. “Once you think you had it all... health, love, wealth, happiness (often times fleeting)... but then deep down you still feel like there is something missing, then just maybe, you can try finding God. Maybe God is that missing piece that your soul yearns for.” That thing stuck to me until now.. Maybe that’s why even some of the wealthiest, healthiest, and most beautiful people are still not completely happy.. Because maybe these things are not really the answer to lasting happiness.. Maybe faith is.. Maybe believing in something bigger than me is... Maybe there is so much more to life after this life and that I won’t just vanish into nothingness.. That maybe there is a richer life that we could hope for after all this.. Maybe everything Jesus said about the after life was true.. I personally believe Him and am hopeful for that.. Real or not, believing in Someone bigger than all of us gives me that peace. And that’s my truth.. We all have our own.. Just a thought.. long one that is.. 🙈😂
Anyways, I am a fan of your videos, haven’t missed a single one ever since I found you. I think you all are beautiful people and I admire you for empowering women. May God bless you. ❤️🙏
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I was listening to all of you discuss your ''first time'' feeling self-conscious about your looks and I was thinking ''wow I don't know that I have a moment like that to pinpoint when that feeling started''. And then it hit me and I started tearing up because it came back to me super clearly. I was in first grade, maybe 5 or 6 years old, and we had gotten our yearly picture taken at school. My mom came to school to pick up my photo and order prints for family and friends (obviously that was before you could just send a digital photo). I had been so excited to get my picture taken that I had been smiling this silly toothy over the top smile, the kind that only kids will make, and when my mom saw the pictures she said they were terrible. She said I looked ridiculous and couldn't give these to people.
We left without ordering a single photo. I was crushed. Every single school photo after that, all the way up to graduating from college, I never smiled again for a picture. I'm 30 and I still struggle with showing teeth on a photo, because I have this deep rooted belief that I look bad when I smile for pictures.
It is horrifying the lasting effect that words can have...Parents and teachers will sometimes say the most horrible things to kids out of love, thinking they're protecting them from something, but often it comes from their own insecurities that they're projecting, and they end up passing them on to these children. People usually mean well, but I think we all have to be a bit more conscious of the remarks we make, and the effect they might have on people. Deep down we're all still that little kid inside that's being told they're not enough and I think we spend a lot of our lives peeling away those layers and trying to figure out who we are without all these assumptions put upon us.
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I really appreciate this discussion, and the honesty and balance of perspectives on the panel. I’d like to share mine:
1. I believe that active parenting is the hardest and most important role there is for anyone with children. Oprah Winfrey chose not to be a mother because she knew that she could not do justice to the role with the demands of her career/business. She made a hard and honest choice, and I have the utmost respect for anyone who makes that choice.
2. Women who choose to have children and be career-or business-driven must be honest, and not pretend that they can excel at all roles simultaneously. We must be honest about the sacrifices being made domestically (as wives and mothers) when our careers or businesses come first. What I don’t respect, for example, is a neurosurgeon who works 90+ hours per week, has a husband, 2 children, and 2 nannies, and says that her role as a mother isn’t being compromised, and doesn’t see that some of her husband’s and children’s needs ARE being sacrificed for her career, which is a greater priority for her. Honesty in the face of political incorrectness is what is needed.
3. Much of the reason why many American women find the role of housewife or SAHM to be unfulfilling is because western culture doesn’t do it justice with enough purpose and meaning to see it as a career unto itself. There is no sense of purpose beyond cooking, cleaning, childcare and sex with hubby. In essence, our culture isn’t doing or teaching it right. Also, we see expectations as traps, which isn’t entirely healthy.
4. Yes, it’s your life. But your life was gifted to you by someone who could have chosen not to give you life. Unless you would rather not have been born, the desire and/or sense of obligation to give a life for the life you’ve been given is not an unfair expectation, and an expression of gratitude that can be fulfilled biologically or not, especially if you are wealthy.
Thank you all for this.
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I so appreciate this interview.
I've got years in my past that involved abuse, as well. It's interesting, for me, when I hit rock bottom I had lost all faith. I lost all hope. To the point that I sincerely couldn't understand their definitions. As was mentioned, when there's a person in your life that is there for you, no matter what, they can help you see a different perspective. I was blessed enough to have two dedicated friends that helped pull me through.
One of my favorite #'s is, it's never to late to educate. Another is quitting is not an option. It took work and time for me to see my light, value and love of self.
Today, I just completed my first year as the 50 year old freshman at Kean University. I am truly grateful that I have received a second chance at life, a second chance to be my best version of me. I now understand the meaning of faith and hope. I discovered there is always hope, when we keep faith close at heart.
Thank you both, for continued inspiration, hope and faith. Thank you for sharing that perseverance is necessary, and quitting is not an option.💖💃💪🧠💓💃💖
#itsnevertoolateto...
#quittingisnotanoption
#wegotthis #weareworthit
🙏🏼🕊☮💖🌞💯♾
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I finished her book two weeks ago and loved it, loved it. So helpful, thank you❤. All the stories are amazing, I laughed, cried, reflected. I could relate to Charllote's story in choosing partners, to a relationship with someone like John, to your story on ending a relationship and grieving the future, and to Rita's story on the power of vulnerability with her letter, and giving me hope in finding love. All of them so inspiring. It is true, mostimes we just need to be understood. Thank you Lori and Lisa!💕💕💕
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I'm mind blown because I knew all of this stuff internally but never really talked about it with anyone or heard someone mention it, even including scientific studies... I won Prom Queen in high school & it still confuses me till this day because I feel like I'm such an awkward person. But the thing is, outwardly I simply own who I am while being awkward & I even profess that to people which comes off as very relatable. I like finding common ground with people & letting them know that it's oaky to be scared, nervous, or anxious. I tell people that I won prom queen simply because I'm nice. I was the first Black girl to win prom queen at my high school & I was overweight, had acne, spaced out teeth with a gap in the from, pretty much very averagely attractive. I only had one boyfriend in high school, which lasted 3 months, and i had an arranged prom date because no one asked me. I won Prom Queen over the other extremely gorgeous & "popular" white girls because I was actually popular in my own sense because I WAS NICE TO EVERYONE. That was my only secret... I loved talking to different groups of people, the goth, emo, disabled, cheerleaders, white, Black, Latino, etc. So it's so cool to me that Vanessa talks about being liked by more people, BY LIKING MORE PEOPLE.
Also, I feel like I'm a very nervous/awakrd person, but every time I speak publicly people compliment me on how well spoken I am & how I don't even come off as nervous. The secret is, every time I feel nervous about something I turn it into excitement! Ive always had this feeling that anxiety & excitement aren't far off, so I always tell people to choose to just be excited about it! & that has worked for me! Vanessa literally talked about excitement being anxiety's sister, and I'm like whoa, I've been doing that!
This is so cool. This makes me want to write a book as well lol
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LOVE THIS, Right here, RIGHT now for such a time as this
Took me 65+ years to
KNOW , I've done the WORK, still Studying to show myself approved, RIGHTLY dividing the truth,
Loliness vs Lonely is so Profound,
First time years ago I heard the statement
We attract who we are , I got busy on ME , my journey my WORK inside of self
With the help of the ALMIGHTY LIVING GOD
This is SOOOOOO GOOD, Lisa and Dr. Cindy Trimm ❤❤❤❤
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This was pure gold, Thank you so much to the both of you for this, Thank you Africa for sharing your story, Lisa is amazing and a great leader for us women, I'm very grateful for women of impact, I'm honest and blunt, I'm a leader, Not a sheep, My mind is my own, I make my own decisions and choices, No one has a right to violate my boundaries, Autonomy, I'm in control, of my thought, Emotions and behavior, Peace, love and respect to you both and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory power praise and smiles to the most high :-) :-) :-)
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It would have saved me from all that roller coaster ride if this video came up right before I met him (in 2019). As Mat said, I really should start trusting myself to not feel afraid to open up again for other opportunities, because I am more equipped now than I was before, sure I might still get hurt with all the possibilities, but more important to me should be that I am growing while experiencing any of these! It's time I pamper/parent myself to get over that toxic attachment, I am getting help whenever and wherever required, am really grateful to all the supporting people I have in my life & the internet that helps me navigate to this kind of wisdom that I can absorb at my own pace, I think I am good so far & will only get better. Either way, I am envisioning myself to be the person who has nothing weighing me down about somebody's behavior but rather be unaffected & untouched with the strength that I keep gaining in my journey, I wish everybody the best. Thank you Lisa, Tom & all the others including the community here & everywhere who are helping in building each other! 💗
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This was pure gold, Thank you so much to you both for this, I've done some study on this, Steven Hassan is one to research, The bite model, Behavior, Information, Thought and emotional control, I will continue on my research, Thank you for talking about abusive relationships, No one has the right to coerce anyone, Use your own mind to critical think and make your own decisions, Peace, love and respect to you both and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory power praise and smiles to the most high :-)
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I AM UNSTOPPABLE!!! 💕💖
Thank you, ladies, for sharing your hearts and souls, and about your struggles and how you overcame them. You have gone over every point I have been working on resolving within myself before I go fully public with my own work . . . EVERY . . . POINT!!! I kept needing to pause this video and rewatch certain points because it brought up things I've been working through . . . some still in process, others I have effectively and completely dealt with. Tremendously helpful and insightful!
I love and appreciate all of what you are both doing to serve. My biggest takeaways from this are . . . it's okay to be smart, powerful, beautiful, feminine, and fierce. And I love your surfing story, Evi, about not focusing on the rocks, the distractions. Focus on the shore . . . the goal. 🥰
Love you, ladies! Thank you for your service! ⚘️💗🌷💕💞
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This was absolutely pure gold, thank you so much to the both of you for this, Laura is amazing and an inspiration to me, Lisa, is amazing too, women of impact, Makes an impact, This speaks volumes and speaks for it's self, He's a toxic monster, A covert manipulative bully, I see right through him and everything, Can't fool me, Peace, love and respect to you both and all, All glory smiles to the most high 😊 smile for miles 😊
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Hummm, Lisa, you know you guys are the best, yes, I am reinventing myself a new, too crazy not to STOP, definitely our dear friend Dr. Wayne Dryer said, no means, "No thank you mean that person is not the one to help you at that moment in time", great reminder, stay blessed and let's go! 💯💯💯💯💯
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Shawn... You're an amazing person. I'm glad to see this interview. In a way, it's good that Andrew wasn't there. He, sometimes, interrupts your train of thought, or forgetting a point by talking over you.
You were an amazing gymnast. You can still identify with the 'kids' that are competing today.
You have to be yourself. So far as 'body style' is concerned, Mary Lou was a muscular gymnast, too. To be compared to her, was oranges and oranges. Being compared with Nastia, your friend and competition, was apples and oranges comparison. Each of you are unique. You trained differently, AND you're different people. Each has their own strengths and weaknesses.
God bless you, Shawn.
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Are we really 'telling our brains' lies, or are our brains telling 'us' lies? Are we really separate from our brains? Since nearly all perception gets processed through the brain, except reflexes and whatever influences the microbes in us are having (which is a fascinating subject we are just beginning to discover), I think it is our brains that tell us things we misinterpret, or rather, interpret in our various ways. The stories we tell ourselves are all made up. Most of our stories serve us well at some point and then no longer do, as we continue to evolve/grow. Telling better stories is a key to happy living to me. Little things add up to big things.
You are both great examples of empowered women. I think the social stigmas around "bad" and "good" drugs are causing much more devastation than the actual drugs. Consuming anything in a mindless way, or with an attitude of dis-empowerment is ultimately doing more harm than good, from my perspective. Labeling certain behaviors as shameful leads to a rapid downward spiral. I think it is more about the social stigmas than the drugs themselves.
I know I am in the vast minority in this thinking, and yet, I feel it is an important part of the 'addiction discussions' which is being ignored to all our detriment.
I feel like I have struggled from a different place than the majority of women, growing up with no father and never feeling complete in a 'supporting female' role...I was clear about my own voice from the start, the only one I could depend on most of my life. I had no idea that females are considered weak and less valuable to society until I hit puberty and started to be sexually assaulted (no tv and no home examples of mainstream family dynamics) and now really trying to learn to embrace and enjoy that feminine role more without feeling disempowered in it. ...learning to accept help and feel valuable when I am a silent or unappreciated help.
Abusive relationships are such an easy trap to fall into. It's tough to know where to draw the line sometimes, when we are 'blinded by love' or by our ego identities we think society wants for us. So important for us to continue to discuss this subject.
Much love and respect!
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Hi,
I just typed yet another detailed - it took me literally 1hr and 30 mins (through chronic fatigue and pain and tears and anxiety ) and it didn't bloody post and I must admit I a really upset as this happens a lot and today I really wanted to ask my query and I was really detailed and there weren't any spelling,punctuation not grammar errors!
To say the least, no matter how positive,grateful,mindful,forgiving, spiritual I am - I am really suffering badly, more than ever, and I really need and deserve help.
I always have to justify myself but I'm not going to in this comment as I'm literally running out of energy and time and I have a lot of catch up work to do(for something that my younger peers would not find difficult - it's a complex story) for my course.
I really want to ask my queries but I have still not started my revision for exams starting in 2 weeks!
All I am going to say for now is the following is a very summarised,undetailed,rushed bio and a snippet of queries; 23, british born, fully indian, gujrati like radhi, no friends, toxic uneducated unemployed old family -parents age gap of 30 and they are both continuing to hinder me, im unemplyed uneducated my last paid 'job' was 2&1/2 yrs ago as a crew member in mcdonalds - it didn;t last long, i was heavily mistreated and i had to leave, i moved out but back in square 1 at home due to no support outside no job ill health and other limitations and dangers, non driver, acne and scar ridden, unattractive, undeveloped, dismissed discriminated and disrespected on a daily basis by various people in society; and one of the worst things about todau
the above listed things are just a very mini snippet so definitely non-exhaustive and in no particular order.
i've prayed, meditated, visualised, drawn, written,affirmed, thanked and more to no end but look at where i am today .
I turn 24 on 24/10/19 and to say least I want a much better life in every aspect - however delusional that may seem. I am in a very dark place today to say the least and no i am not making excuses nor exaggerating nor taking anything for granted. I've exhausted every option and my lone efforts are not paying off.
I affirm - even though I'm the only one who believes in me- that i am worthy of a better life.
Right now my 'priority' is to sit and pass these exams but who am i kidding I'm an adult stdying onyl 2 gcse courses and i have not even revised at all because my mind is so plagued with all these thoughts and life is so hard that no matter what i try, where i go, what i do i simply cannot study but beleive me i love education and i want tio study and i want ti better my life. i was born into a very poor family with no role models. i do not have your stereotypical indian family and i have no one to speak to.
i am painfully aware that in the grand scheme there are those with much worse afflictions but it's still unfair to compare as my situation is very rare and non categorisable.
Please can someone get back to me, if they feel they may be able to helpfully advise/assist me at this extremely difficult time.
Many thanks in advance
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Love this Holistic Psychologist.... Nicole, that's a career I would LOVE to have too!! I shall be listening to all your videos.. I think you would have liked me as a 'subject' and to find out how I survived and still am so optimistic and improving all the time!
At a young age I was involved with the London, Soho mafia, introduced through my uncle, nearly murdered a few times, lost two young daughters, separately, had a fiancee murdered, have suffered many emergency operations, survived two alcoholic husbands, divorced 5 times, engaged 6 times, was in show business, ended up with silly ailments, which can be debilitating, but I am dealing with the emotional stress I might still be carrying, to deal with this and make a good life again.
I shall do it! I've never been depressed, just very anxious and sad about the wrong choices I made. Time to forgive myself completely.
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WOW! The 3 nonnegociables Teddi Mellencamp talks about... gives me exactly what i ask from new me:
1)RESPECT (if im not capable of doing the simple things i know i should be doing then how can i respect such person ?)
2)TRUST (if i dont do as i say, if i dont keep the promises to myself, then how can i trust such a person ?)
06:35 "every single day i write my 3 nonnegociables for the day."
The 3 non negociables started changing my life because then i started keeping the promises to myself.
I've proven to myself time after time that i am capable of getting it done (i respect me ) & I know i'm gonna keep the promises to myself (i trust me) . The 3 non-negociables builds 2 of the things i value in a real mature person... trust&respect
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
10:20 The biggest key to changing ur life & staying consistent is to put myself in a position where i am vulnerable with the people that matter in my circle. I figure out a way to put myself in a position where i cant not do it. ( creating a point of no return by making urself vulnerable or by helping someone already vulnerable )
Example1: I set up a challenge on facebook called become a real mature person or die trying. And i post my 3 non-negociables for the day, every morning. If i dont do these 3 simple things, everybody sees me as i fail.
Example2: I put something i find important on the line (relationships, home, money, image, someone' health) ... where failure is not an option.
Example3: Let others know about ur goal (put ur image of how they see u on the line)
Example4: When someone's well being is on the line, your need to contribute is huge. So do it for someone very close in need. Help them overcome their problems!
Example5: i start a bussiness and sell my house to start it... if it fails im homeless.
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07:23 Now its not competing against someone else, now its myself.
07:31 Whether i have a hard day or not... its one foot in front of the other.
30:58 "If something you've said back to me immediately upsets me, then i know its something i wasnt ready to deal with yet, and then that its something i need to look into."
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No matter how and what I do think, believe, act, & in spite of many different classes, books, hours of research, various approaches etc I write this with mental,physical and emotional agony on the worst day of life yet. I'm a failing,isolated, unemployed, pained, mature part time/quarter time student at a very low GCSE level and also happen to be brown. Despite how much I go out of my way to network, communicate, put myself out there, be a ray of light, make friends, be likable, manifest positive conversations and people socialise etc (including attending interviews to get a basic job but never getting past that stage & I'm someone diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety so you can't say I don't try!) but I still get only negative feedback, racism, hate, attacks, abuse,arguments, harsh criticism discrimination, complaints,misunderstandings, bullying, insults etc even from young teenagers and children as well as adults, of all ages,genders,backgrounds, ethnicities, beliefs etc.Even today all I did was end up screaming, arguing, swearing, arguing, crying our if frustration to poor family who kept criticizing me and comparing me to others. I don't belong anywhere. I am slow, educated,unattractive, uneducated, a nom driver, unemployed, undeveloped etc. And I have faced unexplainable hatred towards me simply for existing, and even driving instructors have sworn at and highly offended me and I pay theme. This existence is beyond exhausting,upsetting,
I am non judgemental but others are not. I feel like half my lfie has been stolen away and as for the main developmental years its too late.
Believe me, I DO PRAY, MEDITATE, AFFIRM, VISUALISE, THANK IN ADVANCE ETC AS WELL AS REAL,PRACTICAL EFFORT
So tell yourself a placebo?
You can be forgiven for assuming I'm negative or whatnot because of how I'm using language in this mini comment, but I'm in fact a very positive, grateful, conscientious,mindful, self motivated, hard working mid twenties lady who us trying her best and when I watch videos of successful,educated, beautiful,well rounded, open minded, productive ladies like you, instead of being jealous, I'm inspired and you show me what is possible HOWEVER I'm not happy with what my life was and is and im running out of time. There is so much more to my query than just a mere YT comment, but just based on this, & although I've asked people in person too for help but yo no success, this is just uet another online request, can anyone help me please?
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I liked the boiling point analogy she made there. So awakening it is. Absolutely right 👍 100% or nothing. Immensely relatable. I agree what she said about responsibility. When you take charge of your karma totally, then you come to a point where you can be compassionate to everyone, completely forgiving, regardless of any situation. Because, now you have made a choice that anything happens to you or for you, you have taken the total responsibility of it. Whatever happens, you are behind it or what will happen, you will only be behind it. Thereafter, you stop expecting anything from anyone. No attachment, no disappointment, no suffering. Now you can accept anyone unconditionally.
I like how expressive she is.
@AlanaPratt 🙏
Great job Lisa💯
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@sandrapelletier1021 You're right, it's based on our interpretation and how we feel about every situation and circumstance. So if you feel good about your stories (fact, truth, perception, etc) then no action is required. Continue to live your best life. But if any part of your story triggers pain, or is showing up in your present and stopping you from living the life you desire, then you get to re-examine the stories and change how you feel about the circumstance.
For me, personally, it was a painful thought/feeling to think/believe that my father had "abandoned" me and it was showing up in my day-to-day, holding me back in so many areas. As I began to dismantle that and many other stories, I was able to experience new freedom and move forward.
All that being said, I always encourage people to take what they need from whatever I share and confidently discard anything that doesn't apply to them. <3 I hope this helps clarify my intentions. <3
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Honestly she looks gorgeous, beautiful skin and facial features,why would she think she was ugly in the past, i'm an Asian with a very pale skin,i used to sunbathing often that caused my sensitive skin to grow freckles,so, instead of getting tanned,i always wanna be tanned/dark,..i remain very pale plus lot's of severe freckles on my face skin,..and i get a permanent operation defect right on my left eye, my teeth are yellowing/look rotten although i don't smoke,and brush my teeth regularly, eat healthy food daily,..so,i feel maybe i'm kinda genetically unfortunate,with my kind of skin,teeth, and even more unfortunate with a defect right in the eye,..you can imagine how messed up one could look like with the features i mentioned, that's what i've been looking like my whole life,...that's what i call ugly looking, it's hard to feel Awesome when you're literally ugly, i can't even see myself in the mirror closely without feeling pain from my ugliness. The woman on this video is beautiful, black skinned women look gorgeous to me. Anyways, great interview, i like your show and i also watch Tom Bilyeu impact theory regularly 👍🙏
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Lisa, I love your content and I love how you prepare and ask questions for your community, I adored seeing you all love on each other so much; it is a beautiful and incredibly valuable gift to have those friendships. I was a little sad that some of the big questions that adult women have about making new friendships, especially after the age of 30 weren’t really answered. There was a huge missed opportunity to give suggestions, and even better resources to help the women that asked that question repeatedly. I had such a heart felt moment when I realized there are groups for all kinds of specific interests/life milestones, I.e. religion, college groups, moms, sports, travel, etc.
I definitely do not want to criticize you at all, I think you are awesome and your homies are as well. I just am left wondering…how do we make new friendships after leaving relationships, our kids growing up, moving to a new place. (I think there is an app for “finding friends” name withheld 😂) I was sooooo excited to hear any answers and I would be willing to bet others were as well.
All of this is said with love and in the knowledge that there is an opportunity to create those valuable connections with women.
❤Michelle
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Lisa, Lilian, Sanja, thank you SO MUCH for sharing this and being so vulnerable and open about your experiences.
Too often we struggle alone, quietly in our hearts and minds, thinking we must be broken somehow for not fitting someone else's expectation of us, whether those expectations come from family, friends, our partner or society in general. We work so hard trying to convince ourselves that we need to change to meet these expectations, and it ends up destroying our sense of self over time.
I have been on my own journey with struggling about whether to have kids or not, and it's such a difficult, important choice to make. I'm still unsure what the answer is. For years I thought it was a choice I had to struggle with internally, and I was ashamed to even bring it up to my husband or close friends, but I am so grateful to have discovered Impact Theory, Women of Impact, Relationship Theory, and all the resources I have then found as a consequence of listening to you guys. It has allowed me to open up, be more vulnerable, TALK about the things that I struggle with, stop trying to appear so damn perfect all the time and it's been so helpful and liberating.
So again, thank you. ❤❤❤
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My 8th grade teacher told our class that when you feel uncomfortable walking down the street, if you feel like someone's following you, etc., "cross the street, walk in the street, act like you're crazy". lol She said, "I'm not afraid to act like I'm crazy to get out of danger" (paraphrased) I never forgot this and I'm long out of 8th grade. lol To this day, if I feel uncomfortable in those situations or others, I will cross the street, walk in the street, turn around and look behind me to let the person know I'm aware, get up and move. I don't care! Or should I say, I DO care...about my life. This interview is fabulous. And yes, women can be strong, smart and beautiful. Ha. lol
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Lisa, thank you for this channel.
This is what I’ve needed and I didn’t realize how much I needed it until you created it.
As an ambitious woman who has been in predominantly male-dominated industries literally fighting to rise, I’ve noticed that a lot of the “motivational success” speakers and interviewers are male. I’m barely surrounded by badass ambitious women in real life. So most of the “success examples” I see and watch are male. Even when Tom interviews females, I get the vibe that they might still feel the need to project more of their “masculine success qualities”.
What you are doing- being a badass ambitious woman yourself- is bringing feminine energy and experiences to this space. Letting those other bomb females express themselves as women in all their femininity without sacrificing their obvious ambition. I am now learning through your interviews that it is OKAY to be feminine/female/a WOMAN with all our energies, that yes we feel certain negative emotions or have perspectives that honestly, not even the most well-meaning males can understand, but YES, we can be and are still successful!
Long speech! Lol.
But I just wanted to let you know that you’re bringing the right energy into this space. You’re creating the kind of spaces that I want to be in. You’re reminding me that there ARE women doing the damn thing!!!
And for that, I say thank you and God bless you.
Rock on!!!
Love,
A badass woman from Ghana, West Africa 🇬🇭
xxx
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It's so interesting!
That part of acceptance, not changing other person and trying to walk in their shoes is so important in any relationship, not just romantic. How many times I've seen that our resistance to what is brings so much suffering is astonishing. We create these worlds in our heads and think that objective world has to be like we want it to be. However, it is not and often times we have to adapt to it and not try to change the world.
So that example of sharing what you want for christmas is amazing!!!! You could say that "well, he should know me well by know", but what if I'm the person that just doesn't GET IT? What if I'm good at multiplying, seeing how the body works and airing the laundry, but I'm not good at understanding what other people want? It's a skill that one can develop, but that doesn't mean that they have it at that particular moment.
And understanding this concept and actually integrating it is SO SO POWERFUL. My life has gotten significantly better because I've started asking less of the world and actually accepting it for what it is and ONLY THEN seeing what I can do with it without trying to forcefully control it. And now it's a night and day thing. I used to control my ex in some aspects which is HORRIBLE. Now, at whatever aspect of my life, I'm learning to let go of control as much as possible of what is not me (my emotions, my actions, my thoughts).
Tom and Lisa, I honestly am so amazed and in awe of you two. You are something that I've never seen in my life (Or at least some qualities that you two cultivate). And that is powerful and very IMPACTing to see that it's possible to be like this. :)
P.S. One of my main teachers is Sadhguru who has been on Tom's show. LOVE IT.
I hope that you'll never stop growing and create better and more beautiful expressions of your lives!
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@WomenOfImpact right of the bat talking about the placebo effect I think this is what happened to me, So, I've dealt with (In my opinion, situational) depression (I've been with my kids dad for 13+ years I'm not in love but have stayed together and now how to get through the day as a couple with the kisses and love you's but some period's are harder to keep up the pretence. This year my word though is DONE!
So a few years back I got a depression subscription from my doctor I was taking it every day I started to feel better, I was going to the gym 5 days a week, eating clean felt really! good, My then 2? year old daughter got chicken pox and I was SO consumed by taking care of her and making sure she was hydrated, not scratching putting chamomile lotion on her... i FOTGOT about my pill's, until 1 day my partner said (My daughter had chicken pox for 2/3 weeks) have you been taking your pill's / or it may have just hit me when the initial storm of the pox had settled, you know it hit me i'd not taken them... I tried to get bk on them but I didn't feel the same after that, and i stopped taking them they just didnt seem to have the same effect on me.
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Miss "Rhonda Ross" interview with you, so nice and helpful for another person, her own life experiences is very inspiring me, She thought only her own right now thinking, doing anything, in her life she only knows herself, nobody knows her, what she was doing, but continued her own business, working.that is the success of her life,.she don't mind outside of her world, own business is the main target, for her because of she wants to live in her own life and death, and in the world nobody think about her, whether its right or wrong she lives herself, nobody comes in her miserable life, even though her family members also think their own way.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings and experience of life.
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Rebecca is spot on about so much! My research indicates they are all malignant, that doesn't vary. Rather what varies is how much they hide that reality. Moreover, many narcissists move back and forth between being covert and grandiose. It all depends upon what they need to do in a particular moment to meet their pathological needs. They are all fundamentally black holes with no authentic sense of self manipulating primarily themselves and as a result others in order to convince themselves their delusional fantasy world where they are ok, good or great is real. Underneath it, they know exactly who they are and are not. For example, 12 step programs, therapy and self help are riddled with narcissists much to some people's surprise. These groups and processes allow them to hide in plan sight and look like they are growing, changing and doing their best, trying to make their mistakes right. All just a mask to manipulate and take everything they can from others aka supply, committing life, love, sex and friendship fraud.
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Lisa I found yours and Toms company channel last Summer and obviously was very inspired by the talks and interviews he does on there, enough to keep coming back and seeing so many of the impactful and informative interviews that he has done on there. I obviously knew of you and saw you both as a very powerful team and I very much had the impression that the company and the talks were a team effort. And that you were doing a massive effort in the background, that I just wasn’t aware of. But when I found out about this channel a few weeks ago, I kinda felt dumb making assumptions I had no basis to make. I watched one of your interviews and I was kinda floored how much your way of conducting these talks, it really makes me feel heard, seen, loved and comforted. Even if I have no connection to the subject matter. Your way of listening to your guests, showing compassion, encourage them and compliment their power and vulnerability while you let them pass on their wisdom to all of us who need it, it is so impressive and worthy of tremendous respect. You show how to actually accomplish the whole ‘Women lift up other women’ belief that we really all should have. You inspire just by being yourself ❤️
Also many of the talks that I so far have seen give me this feeling of sitting with a bunch of wonderful new friends and just listening to them sharing the amazing wisdom they have learned throughout their life.
I have a feeling that I will be gaining several lessons from you and these guests that will be stay with me until the time I need it, whether one time or many, so thank you so much!
Btw: This is the first channel ever where I clicked the post notifications button (on purpose!) to be sure I never miss anything.
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I AM UNSTOPPABLE!
I related to the conversation regarding living your own life, even if your family and friends don't understand your vision.
As a kid, I always wanted to just appease and be liked. In my first marriage, it was about keeping peace and keeping my kids and myself safe, as he was an abusive man. It's taken a lot of work for me to become my authentic self, become resilient and being unstoppable.
Now, I'm raising 7 kids and I'm trying to teach them to be resilient and unstoppable. I really appreciate and love the questions Evy asks herself first.
Listening about others opinions and how it affects you hit home for me. I'm starting a business currently, and I know I need to get active on social media and YouTube, but one of the biggest hold backs, is facing others opinions (of those I know and in my community) about seeing me out there and trying something new. I often fall victim to imposter syndrome, and it holds me back. This portion of the video was super helpful and served as a good reminder for me. Thank you for that. I needed this video!
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I just came across this video. Ashley made comments about grief, grieving your past self. I went from being a SWF commercial electrician to a wife to a new mom in a matter of 3 yrs. My husband, an extream extrovert, never sits still. Since I met him, we have been going and doing, never stopping. I am an extream introvert. I need down time. I have been struggling with feelings that I can't explain. I never took time to say goodbye to my former self. I've lost friends and been missing the things that no longer serve me or my passions. Its like I never gave myself permission to grow and leave who i was to explore the unknown as a SAHM. I also think the fear of unknown helped keep me from letting go of the younger, carefree, unattached, self. It's like the depression women go through right after giving birth. The transitions our bodies go through during pregnancy, birth, and after birth are stress enough. Add in the social and mental stress. Older generations giving their 2cents on how to take care of baby, just the idea that you are responsible for a life (a soul), other women judging you as a mom, friends that are not parents and unable to understand why you can't go out every other night. I am so greatful for this episode. Many of the comments and thoughts have hit through me. Thank you.
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I clicked on this video to give this woman another chance for me to feel her
I believe that she's very powerful, that she has been through a lot and she stood up for herself
But I just don't feel her, I don't feel her words that they're coming out of a genuine place
What I actually feel is that she's selling her story, her pain, and she's not selling them for the right price
I take it personally because I have been through a lot myself and have experienced a lot of pain, I always talk about it and share it with the people I know trying to help them, but I always do that out of one place (I know how it feels), not to be acknowledged as a badass or someone who knows it all or superwoman, but just because I know what pain feels like, I know what depression does
I think that things happened to you so fast that you didn't have the time to reflect on them and just got dragged by them and living in the moment, but I advise you to take a break, BE HUMBLE, reflect on yourself and your life and your purpose. because dear, if you haven't learnt your lesson yet (and I believe that you didn't) life will teach you on its own way.
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I had a talk once in Ghana with a class of young boys that were getting ready to graduate. I knew nothing about giving talks but we talked about quite a few impactful things, including career aspirations. During the talk, I told them, "If you don't know the value of a dollar, you won't know the value of $10,000." It was quite refreshing hearing a similar concept from her. Patricia is a spark, an inspiration, a voice with wisdom. Just a couple of days ago I responded to a tweet saying, " People won't know how to save money if they are not taught about money, period. Money, the #1 subject missing from schools, yet you come out thinking you're educated." Something brought me here to listen to her speak and I'm glad I listened.
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OMG!... never stop digging into more aspects of the details, that many people do no see alone and need help to notice and learn the how! It’s amazing to watch you, how you examine each other with a loving interest in your eyes... about “how the other felt before when that happened?...”, which shows clearly how deep is your interest in never stopping growing together! You are coming from the future, dear Tom and Lisa!... Huge, fat thaaaaank youuuu! I see the time came for this to learn, practice and live! Even I (now 71 y young) was ready for it by birth!... But..., I am sad to say..., that in my generation I am not optimistic to find a male match, enough highly evolved, to opt it?!... love you! Adore you!... grateful to have come upon you!
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