Hearted Youtube comments on Dr. Scott Eilers (@DrScottEilers) channel.

  1. I honestly, have given up on life. My freeze response got so bad due to illness, financial stresses, and just overall being an aging adult in america, that I thought there's nothing I can do about never being able to motivate myself to do anything/achieve anything in my entire life. I was making plans for a final exit in about five years because I just couldn't bear the thought of having to live like this for another day, much less several more decades. And you, a person I never met, had literally given me hope back, that my life is not over, that I CAN do something about this, and that there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. You have no idea, what I feel right now. Heck, I don't know what I feel right now, but there are tears in my eyes and I have no idea why I'm crying.
    12000
  2. On the flip side I can now travel all around the world because I lost my lifelong phobia of flying because I no longer cared if the plane crashed 😊
    10000
  3. 1. Stopped drugs and alcohol 2. Stopped chasing acute feelings of joy 3. Stopped staying up late 4. Stopped restricting my food intake 5. Stopped allowing myself to be inactive 6. Stopped getting fully invested in fantasy world - tv, videogames etc Might want to listen - each item is qualified
    4000
  4. Thank you for acknowledging this. I get so sick of hearing people say "it's never too late!" Enough of toxic positivity. Sometimes it really is too late, sometimes we have missed our window of opportunity and we just have to mourn that loss.
    3700
  5. As someone who was tormented by this for around two decades, I agree with everything you say. After about a year of therapy I realised this was my body's way of telling me my life had to change. I started by ending my relationship. Then, a few years later (after more therapy), I moved continents and started an entirely new profession. I'm now 59, and have been living a satisfying, meaningful life for around 15 years. Take my word for it, it's never too late to embark on the life you deserve - it just feels that way when you're trapped in this seemingly endless depressive cycle.
    2000
  6. Your ability to relate to people because of your own 'broken' parts is why you're the only doctor I subscribe to... you've removed the hierarchy between doctor and patient. Thank you for your work.
    1700
  7. Google served this video to me this morning and it hit me in my very soul. I spent 2 years in grief therapy with a LCSW and this never came up. The death of my dream hit me so hard that I immediately buried it and it wasn’t acknowledged in any way. It has devastated my life since then. I will hold a ceremony for it now. Thank you for this immensely important video. I feel that you are touching a great many lives with it. 🙏🏻☮️❤️
    1600
  8. I know this "freeze" feeling so well. I cared for both my elderly parents from 2015. Being a carer is so stressful. The "freeze brain" started In 2017, my father died from prostate cancer In 2022 my mum passed away from dementia and strokes. All the time I was bullied by a family member for not being a better carer. I'm slowly starting to come out of the freeze. I need to start celebrating my little victories. Thank you for your video.
    1600
  9. That part about passive vs active SI being more about personality and less about severity was really really significant for me. I've never ever believed that my depression was that bad, purely because I almost never experience active SI. I thought I had it easy and I was just overreacting because other people actually engage in self harm and suicide attempts while I just think a lot about it. So thank you for saying that. It means a lot.
    1400
  10. I knew for 15 years I wanted to be a therapist. Psychology and the art of TRULY helping people was my passion. I had a 4.0 in college as I earned my bachelors in psych. To sum things up quickly, I fell severely mentally ill over time. It began with severe general anxiety as a child, then social phobia which turned into agoraphobia so severe I didn't leave my bedroom for years. YEARS. I continue to deteriorate. Drugs, alcohol. Constant sleeping and eating. No friends, no family. No purpose. Depression. Unable to work. In my early twenties, when I was simply highly socially anxious and a drinker, I still functioned as a social worker. Despite my timid nature, I poured MY SOUL into that job. I loved it. But one day, a therapist I worked under revealed something to me I won't ever forget. She said, "No one ever really gets better in therapy. We can only hope to keep them at a baseline." No matter how much I studied or worked with people, there never seemed to be progress anywhere. I felt like I had chosen the wrong path. My boss hated me, and that company wanted me OUT. I quit after two years. Never worked again. Just spiraled. Went to therapy for a decade. Useless. Did TMS. Useless. Over 20+ medications. Useless. Self help, prayer, spirituality. Anything. It was useless. If I were a provider, I would create a concrete step-by-step plan tailored to each and every client. I would have structure, assign reasonable goals. I disliked the dry, clinical approach that I saw and experienced on both sides of the desk; I knew people needed to be comforted and nurtured on top of guided and understood. When people are very, very sick, I've learned that one hour a week of talk therapy is not enough. I don't know how to implement this idea, but many people need active, well trained mental health professionals engaged in their daily lives. Just like going to the gym to get fit or sticking to a diet, I think more intervention is needed for the ones who are struggling the most. I noticed that the most severely afflicted were usually totally isolated, living on the fringes of society. When people are in such a vulnerable position, they desperately, DESPERATELY need a community. Perhaps even a surrogate family. And that is incredibly difficult to build when you are suffering so badly and don't have the tools to build that for yourself. We that are suffering need so many, many things to get better. A sense of belonging, community. Purpose. Professional guidance. Hands on intervention. Concrete action to achieve reasonable goals. Not airy, loose, feely one hour sessions once a week.
    1300
  11. If I have to hear “and how does that make you feel?” one more time, I may scream!!!
    1200
  12. Wow ! I thought I was lazy, unmotivated, unorganized, unambiguous, undisciplined, and then some. I have had anxiety as long as I can remember, and that's long enough. There are times, when I literally sit and do nothing except get more anxious because I'm doing nothing. I promise myself I will do better tomorrow. I don't. At this point, I'm going to take your advice, and try this. If not, I will continue to sit here, frozen. Thank you. Thank all of you for commenting. I don't feel so alone now.
    1100
  13. What if you're tired of trying? You're good one day and sometimes not, it's an endless cycle. You're sick of worrying or feeling, and just want yourself to end
    1000
  14. It's good to finally have a name for this anguish in my soul. I am a 63-year-old childless widow. Infertility is so very cruel. For all the years that my husband and I tried to have children, I emotionally went through a funeral every month when I learned that I was still not pregnant. Then I hit menopause about 10 years early, only worsening my heartache as I learned my dream of being a mother was gone forever. Only my own sweet mother seemed to understand my hurt, and now she's gone, too. Literally no one else understands the pain I feel as I face old age alone, with no children or grandchildren to love -- or to love me. Now maybe I can work on this ambiguous grief. Thank you.
    1000
  15. Never in history have we been so overwhelmed with choices, technology & information. It can be crippling. I first noticed this happen after my first child... standing in the supermarket to buy nappies... there were so many brands, sizes, prices, a whole aisle! it started an anxiety response I'd never faced before, i couldn't decide. Our brains have not evolved to handle sensory overload that is the modern world.
    1000
  16. Anxiety literally destroyed my life. and I am not overexaggerating that's the truth.
    1000
  17. I think this is a wide spread feeling. The modern world has become far too complicated, information overload , political overload , the never ending more and more .. and more. Now age 62 I can say without any guilt that for at least 20 years I have imagined myself on the bed breathing my last gasps .. Saying to myself and to anyone else present ... " what a relief it is finally over " . Life is not what I was brought up to believe it is or would be. It is not really much fun , but we do at times have nice bits here and there.
    982
  18. I'm a lawyer with the burden of my country on my shoulders (literally) and I lost my beloved mother 3 years ago who i took care of during her transition with stage 4 lung cancer. My older sister and aunts bullied me so terribly and tired to find every fault they could in my abilities. They even blamed me for my mother's passing. I sought grief counseling and im now in therapy but no one could explain what i was experiencing for the past 3 years what you just explained in 20 minutes! Im amazed! I draft legislation and weeks and months would go by and i literally couldn't even muster up the motivation to open the word document to begin my work. I've even started to miss deadlines. This added to my stress! But i just opened up the word document and jumped up and down praising myself for doing that one small thing and miraculousy I was able to actually read the document. I praised myself some more! I paused to write this comment but im about to actually start working on the document now too. I can't believe this, but this actually works! Thank you!! ❤ Im going to get back to work now 😅
    977
  19. My girlfriend had these "passive" thoughts for years, mostly because of her disability. She never wore her seat belt and was very reckless near danger (like the edge of a cliff). She was always "pushing the limit". She took her own life last year. Her mental health was drastically declining near the end (I mean to the point of psychosis), and those thoughts finally caught up to her. Although a lot of people have these passive ideations, but you definitely want to watch yourself or your loved ones closely when you start to see a change in personality. It could be a lot more than a depressive episode
    938
  20. I did not think of a bubble bath. Being in the recovery community, I have learned that self-care is often uncomfortable. Learning to set boundaries, for example, is self-care.
    889
  21. This video should go viral. A lot of people need to hear these words 😢
    864
  22. I’m praying hard for everyone who has ever felt this way. I’m so sorry y’all experienced these things. Sending love and hugs
    860
  23. I’m a therapist in Texas and I have to tell you that I’m so proud of you for making videos that talk about the real shit that people go through. You’re really strong and courageous to share your own personal journey with your clients and viewers. I hope that more and more therapists start becoming honest about their own personal human struggles… Because it takes all of the power dynamic away between client and therapist. Such a relief. Thank you so much!
    783
  24. Lost my 14 year old son 16 months ago. I was functioning but the last few months I have DEFINITELY gone into a freeze response. Every single thing is so, so, sooooooo hard. No matter how small it is. My limbs are HEAVY. I'm TIRED 😮‍💨
    750
  25. As a mental health professional myself, working with addicts I am appalled, embarrassed, and broken hearted by this story. That is NOT client centered, has no unconditional positive regard, No compassion!! Whoever that practioner is they need to leave the profession. 😢😢 We ALL deserve care, compassion.
    735
  26. As a kid I grew up in a family where I was basically shamed and punished when I wasn't perfect. So I now have a freeze response whenever I make a mistake. So thank you for this, I think it's going to make a big difference in the amount of stress I can handle.
    688
  27. Could not have been more timely, as I am struggling to get out of bed right now. Funny thing, I sat up while I was listening to you and berated myself for not continuing the process of getting up. Then you said, “If you can’t get out of bed, just sit up … and celebrate it like crazy.” I needed that. It also means SO MUCH that you said we didn’t CHOOSE to freeze. Based on your description, I think I might actually live a good part of each day in freeze mode as I work through PTSD, depression, and more. Definitely some healing tears shed listening to you. ❤
    658
  28. I started a sticker book, bc as a child I had a loser sticker book with almost no stickers, when everyone else had cool ones. It might sound silly, but I truly look forward, even as an adult, to rewarding myself with a sticker for something as simple as washing a pan with burned food stuck to the bottom, or brushing my hair.
    643
  29. I’ve never heard anyone be able to describe exactly how I feel until I saw this. I don’t feel sad or depressed but I knew something isn’t right. Thanks, doc!
    629
  30. I paused at 8 seconds in..No judgment from me...a fellow mental health sufferer. I, too was in a dark place this morning upon waking. Using all my recently learned skills to reason my way into the day took about two hours. While practicing "wise mind" thinking, I realized that logic was playing no part in my angst - it was all emotion. Yet I have lived with collapsing emotion for so long that it is a huge challenge to balance it with logic. Strength to all of us.
    622
  31. The cat interuption was the first thing that has made me laugh today. Thank you for keeping that in!
    619
  32. I've been in freeze mode for the past 10 years. This video just gave me hope that there may be a way out of this depression. I feel such guilt & shame and sometimes I wonder if I'm just lazy. I've seen many psychiatrists & therapists but have never had this explained. God bless you for taking the time to give people hope and hopefully a way out of this prison. I've only been "existing" for the past 10 years & I feel like it wouldn't be a bad thing if I didn't wake up again. I'm so tired of not enjoying anything. I'm so grateful your video was suggested to me and I'm excited to explore your other videos. Thank you so much for giving me even an inkling of hope.
    599
  33. My entire life. MY. ENTIRE. LIFE. I thought i was broken. Turns out, no, it's just CPTSD and abuse have put my amygdala into constant stress response. Decade worth of therapy and a stranger on the internet explains my life to me like he's living in my god damn head. I wish there were more people like you in the field, bc everyone I met in it? "Just take higher dosage of meds".
    574
  34. Please keep creating content on Anhedonia, please.
    558
  35. I am the female version of you. You describe your brain and depression just how I have experienced mine for 55 years. I'm going to try 2 things from your video. 1. Accepting, finally, that my brain is wired differently than others and be ok with that fact. 2. Force myself to get out of my house and go for a walk everyday. I really resonated with you when you said you struggle with feeling like doing nothing and needing to do something.
    552
  36. You are the only person to ever discuss this ambiguous grief issue. As a mom of a kid with disabilities I have been told so many times to “look on the bright side” or ‘it could be worse’. I have been excluded from social groups at school because other moms don’t know what to do with us. It is a long hard road. Thank you for talking about it.
    448
  37. I'm 65, and my greatest regret, at this very moment , is that I did not encounter this teaching when I was 20. I would have handled life so much differently. And , yes, "erroneously" is a real word. 😊 Thanks
    432
  38. The hardest part for me is the 'guilt' afterwards... like looking back and hating myself for being depressed instead of focusing on whats ahead.
    429
  39. My 2 sons have mental health issues and my wife sees a therapist. I started watching your videos seeking understanding. I shared your videos with my wife and she says you're very relatable. That's high praise. Thanks for what you are doing. It's quality help. Peace
    406
  40. Reminds me of a saying we have in my house: Some days you thrive, some days you survive.
    402
  41. Respect to all going through this. I knew I wasn't the only one. Depression and anxiety don't discriminate. It's exhausting "fighting" it to seem normal. I see you all. We'll be okay...heads up.❤🎉
    379
  42. 30+ years going strong. I must have thought about it a million times by now. I attempted suicide twice in my late teens, but learned from those super violent, super shocking experiences, that “the body is a damned hard thing to kill”
    379
  43. It is just dark inside my head and heart I want to feel love and light
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  44. I lost my husband 3 years ago. I was under stress at the time but his death broke me. I became frozen. I drag myself out of bed daily to go to work. When I’m home, I isolate. Thank you for this video. It helps to know what is going on. ❤
    368
  45. Heraclitus said “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he’s not the same man.”
    365
  46. I already knew I loved this man not only for his insight, his sincerity in helping people suffering and for his perfect explanation of concepts but then when his cat appeared behind the curtain and to find out he is a cat lover. ❤ This man rocks
    362
  47. Thank you for validating that life feels SO unfair because I never asked to be here and to suffer. 🥺
    360
  48. I'm not suicidal, but I often get depressed. For me it's mostly about two things he mentioned. 1. Not having time to really use my gifts and talents (my passions) because I'm too busy working full time to pay the bills and taking care of daily stuff like grocery shopping and resolving small problems. 2. My wife and I don't have children 12 years into our marriage because of her health issues and I always knew I was meant to be a father. I knew marrying her meant that we likely wouldn't have children but I didn't want to let her go. She's often depressed because that's a symptom of her health issues, which also makes me depressed because I wish I could do more to help her.
    354
  49. To anyone struggling, please be encouraged! This approach really, really works. I know it from personal experience. Celebrating one small achievement with the same enthusiasm as you would celebrate a puppy doing something correct for the first time has made me feel like my life is worth living. With burn-out and depression, I have massively dialed back the things I force myself to do each day, and chronic health problems mean that sometimes my biggest achievement of the day literally is just in sitting up. But I do force myself to do one thing each day, and to then celebrate that one thing each day. This combo has really helped me with my depression, and I highly recommended it for everyone. I wish this was something people talked about more often. Sending you all big virtual hugs, and I hope this helps!
    348
  50. Wow..I have been watching you this last 6 months or so...your ability to communicate in detail my existence, thoughts, and life....blows my mind..I just never believed another person on the planet could honestly " get it"...I am 61 years old...61 years of trying to get through it alone. Thank you for putting yourself out there for the rest of us!❤
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