Comments by "Andrew Barratt" (@FatNorthernBigot) on "Andrew Lawrence" channel.

  1. Frankly, the thought of going to London for a "jolly day out" is akin to going to Gaza for a stag night. 😂
    516
  2. My daughter claims to be gay. She may well be, of course, but when its as trendy as it currently is, it's difficult to tell whether or not she'll be "back on solids" in the near future. When she came out, she had the full support of both my wife and I, and as a consequence was quite disappointed. I thought Little Britain's "only gay in the village" was supposed to be a bit of fun, not LGBQ+ foreshadowing.
    425
  3. I've never been on Twitter. It sounds like an absolute shit show, full of purple-haired prats, desperate to find offense at anyone with an opinion. If I wanted that, I'd go back to university.
    401
  4. Nothing says "level-headed" like an enraged mob of religious extremists. 😂 "Mob Justice" is an oxymoron.
    376
  5. Yes, who would want to be remembered as a decorated soldier and humanitarian, when you can go on "Oprah"?
    369
  6. He's on his way out, and that is "all white" by me 👍
    364
  7. It's becoming increasing obvious that Islamists define themselves by hate rather than the "love" mentioned in this video 😨
    334
  8. Their sense of entitlement is shocking... I mean, they don't even have to steer 😀
    332
  9. If you live outside of London, modern adverts appear to be made for foreign lands. They certainly do not reflect my life, or the people around me.
    328
  10. My sister-in-law managed to travel all the way from New Zealand to the UK this week, without issue. Shame, as I can't stand the miserable cow.
    317
  11. Remember "Things can only get better!!!"? They didn't.
    313
  12. Watching a copper, standing mob-handed with his piggy friends, shouting "Your tweet caused someone anxiety!" is ironic, to say the least.
    294
  13. Perhaps this is the "inclusion" and "diversity" people talk about.
    289
  14. How can we not have a two tier system? We have a community which has very different values and culture, completely separate from that of the natives. It's either a two tier system, or violent clashes. This is the result of a war criminal's vision for Britain the late 90's. It's a bit of a bizarre quagmire, isn't it?
    288
  15. Those making decisions on how we tackle climate change are not the ones who pay for them. It reminds me of the Generals in World War I, trying anything to see what works, with little to no regard for their foot soldiers.
    269
  16. I've watched every video. Sometimes I agree with them, sometimes not, but they are always entertaining. Thank you, Andrew.
    269
  17. Nish Kumar's response when people point-out his racist hypocrisy will be interesting. I assume he'll use phrases like "white supremacist", "Twitter mob" etc... No doubt he'll point-out a hateful death-threat, possibly real, maybe not, and play the victim.
    263
  18. It's not democracy, it's a dilemma.
    255
  19. I've watched GB News. It is not far-right, and a few years ago, GB News would have been mainstream media.
    253
  20. This is one of those "investigations" that goes on forever, bores the tits off everyone and eventually reaches a vague, ineffective conclusion we couldn't care less about.
    248
  21. Milei is definitely "quite a character", rather than everyone else at Davos who broadly come under the banner of "quite a c-nt". Lets hope his, lets say, "revisionist" outlook doesn't get him into involuntary suicide. 😕
    236
  22. The first police officer killed in a riot will be referred to as "mostly alive", and his mourning partner as "mostly cheerful".
    223
  23. I believe GPs receptionists should get a hefty pay rise. They're working hard, making sure you never speak to anyone with even the vaguest of medical qualifications. Well done, GP receptionists, and I'll see you all in hell.
    216
  24. I can confirm Andrew Lawrence is a "decent turn".
    213
  25. Now I feel Christmassy. Throw another bit of furniture on the fire, gran!!! 😉
    211
  26. We're now in the bizarre situation where men have to stand up for women's rights. As a middle-aged man who has been described as "sexist" on occasion, this annoys me.
    207
  27. John Cleese was, is, and will continue to be, a total legend! I'm sure he's not expecting the Spanish inquisition, either.
    204
  28. Finally a politician that speaks his mind, or not.
    201
  29. We need to stamp out fascism with extreme violence and a abolition of people's rights! That should do the trick. Do we have a curfew, yet?
    201
  30. I'm guessing the left will be very quiet over this.
    199
  31. It is an Islamic tradition that wives walk behind their husbands, but now, thanks to the danger of landmines, they're encouraged to walk ahead of them. Now, that is feminist progress, right there. 👍🤣
    195
  32. If Dr Gideon was a true Europhile, he'd get his winky out in Lidl, not Tesco!
    194
  33. "The BBC is all about inclusion. No, not you. Inclusion for everyone but you! Can we have our license fee, now?" 🤣
    186
  34. I'm all for feminism. Please put as many female workers into coalmines, sewers and all manual labour jobs as there are male workers, and it'll be a start.
    178
  35. Is the light at the end of the tunnel just an oncoming train? 😨🤣
    175
  36. I wonder if any of the attendees are back from their "gap yar" where the food was authentically ethnic and they really learnt about other cultures?
    174
  37. Presidential quotes.... Franklin D. Roosevelt: "The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today". Biden: "Get off my lawn!".
    171
  38. Well, the Royal family are supposed to represent the good people of Great Britain. Boycotting the biased BBC really does represent the values of their subjects. 😀
    171
  39. Is there a more bizarre video title than "Submarine hypocrisy of woke 'Liberals'"? It's a sign-of-the-times that it actually makes sense.
    170
  40. The NHS needs protecting from sick people? Surely that's their biggest customer.
    168
  41. I guess modern democracy means “choosing the most fragrant dog turd”.
    164
  42. Nike should make larger, softer shinpads so The England team can more comfortably "Take the knee". 🤣
    162
  43. If Corden was truly British, he would have politely accepted the hairy soup, and then written a damning online review, later that evening.
    162
  44. This is the first time I've seen someone win an election before the actual election occurs. 😂
    160
  45. Literally no one is shocked by this, but the question is... Why are they revealing the truth, now? 🤔
    153
  46. I'm not entirely sure why students think they've the right to remain unoffended.
    149
  47. I parked in Boston, Linc, last night. It was a pound to park all evening, and there was a machine that accepted cash. I felt quite nostalgic.
    144
  48. Ha, ha!!! Up yours, Frenchie!!! 😀
    143
  49. I don't eat plants. The food I eat eats plants.
    139
  50. If this winter of discontent is gonna be anything like the last one, the music has to get waaaaay better.
    135
  51. Now the BLM organisers all have nice homes, there doesn't seem much point in knee-taking.
    134
  52. If daddy has to pay Jemima's compensation for "their" ambulance-stopping antics, or he's suddenly involved in litigation with a local museum, then maybe some other non-binary pillock will have to "stop" oil. Finally some good news. 👍
    134
  53. American seems to have elected it's first female president without knowing it.
    134
  54. If only everyone treated the purple-haired, permanently-offended Twitter liars like Jimmy Carr does... ignore them.
    129
  55. "I know what all the correct opinions are, and I know exactly what I'm allowed to think and say." I don't think anything sums up the current political climate better than this.
    127
  56. This is far too balanced and level-headed for LBC.
    125
  57. We are being told what to do, say and think by a tiny minority of shouty, over-entitled activists on Twitter. We made the mistake of thinking their opinions matched commonly-held beliefs of the nation, and now we need to admit we were wrong.
    123
  58. "Moral absolutists"... I've not heard this phrase before, but I couldn't agree more. Thank you, Andrew, for adding some much needed perspective.
    123
  59. The more the government acts like our nanny, the more I want to go out and give my friends a firm handshake (I'm not the hugging kind). 🤝
    122
  60. If you asked me to draw a picture of Sir Keir from memory, I'm not even sure I'd draw a face.
    118
  61. Andrew Lawrence works harder now, than before the lockdown. Talk about being handed a lemon and making lemonade. Now, if only there was a way to sell that lemonade.🤔
    115
  62. Sir Keir Starmer is the voice of controversy. Any "hot button" topic, and he's right in there, telling it how it is. Or isn't. Possibly.
    115
  63. I like the good people of Manchester's priorities... No BLM bollocks for them, they riot about important issues. Football! ⚽
    112
  64. Everyone's had a crack at Afghanistan... As a general rule of thumb, if your target is happy to run around wearing their enemies head as a makeshift hat, you'd best them to it.
    112
  65. I'm sick and tired of people stereotyping larger gentlemen, such as myself. We're not all food-obsessed gannets! Are those chocolate digestives? Milk or plain? Looks like there's a couple left. Just sayin'.
    109
  66. It feels like a 100 years.
    107
  67. The entire British road network is not built for the volume of traffic it now receives and is essentially a house of cards... One incident and the whole thing comes crashing down.
    106
  68. My dad's the same age as Biden and we don't let him use the TV remote.
    103
  69. I don't understand how the left can be über critical of the colonialism of 200 years ago, yet defend the horrors of modern-day Islamic fundamentalism.
    103
  70. Alien: "I know... Let's defy the laws of physics, travel hundreds of lightyears, fly around Canada only to be shot down." 🤣
    102
  71. It's okay. We don't need a new generation. I'm sure that the thousands of illegal immigrants appearing on our shores will look after us in our old age. 🤣
    97
  72. My mum's a keen gardener, and at 78-years-old, I don't know if she's familiar with this week's identity politics nonsense. I'd better disown her, just in case.
    95
  73. Black privilege is being able to blame your problems on someone else, regardless of your own mistakes or responsibilities.
    91
  74. If Prince Harry wants to sit in the middle of a busy M25, I’m all for it. He can bring "Woko Ono" with him, too.
    90
  75. I've seen some very old chief inspectors, which proves you can not die of shame.
    89
  76. Is there anyone who thought there would be no consequences to the government's "furlough" scheme? We knew we'd pay for it somehow, and here it is. I was laid off for 9 months from a company that was thriving. During this time I was called by colleagues, still employed, who wanted advice. I was stupid enough to give it to them. I'm as mad at myself as I am at them.
    88
  77. "...and heaven knows I'm miserable, now". 😂
    87
  78. The Guardian were rubbing their hands with glee when reporting this.
    84
  79. I'm not sure who Labour is supposed to represent, these days. It used to be the working class, but now it's just mired in voter-repelling identity politics.
    83
  80. 😂I've no need to call LBC as I'm quite aware of my own ignorance. However, I wasn't ignorant enough to vote Labour just to spite the Conservative government.
    83
  81. We're at a stage where the people of Ireland have considerably more disposable income than those in the UK, and if that isn't the result of a weak, directionless government, I don't know what is.
    82
  82. I'm so pleased international picture agencies quickly removed the photo. The internet has a reputation for integrity, and there's no place for a completely harmless, if modified, picture of the Princess and her family. I'm sure the agency's decision was based on a passion for truth and honesty and not because of some grubby, predictable, anti-monarchist ideology. 😉
    81
  83. My 6-year-old daughter can't remember a time before Covid-19. I can't imagine what damage the lockdowns have done to her.
    80
  84. The Mash Report once had a right-of-centre-comic guest for a couple of minutes... Geoff Norcott. They treated him like some sort of Victorian freak show, and was announced as the "Voice of the right", as if he was the only one. Well done BBC, unbiased as ever, how the Tories gained power, we'll never know.
    79
  85. A few years ago, this would be the scoop of the year and the population shocked at her insincere response. How far politicians have fallen.😮
    78
  86. Looking on the bright side, there are fewer people willing to defend this situation, fewer people pretending to care about migrant children that don't exist, and fewer people suggesting the boats are packed with asylum seekers.
    76
  87. Can you imagine what the audience for this production will be like? The pure stench of purple hair dye, jazz hands instead of applause, desperate to take offense at anything.
    74
  88. The one character where Andrew's appearance is actually helpful.
    73
  89. I can't wait to waste my money on "Stupid Bollocks". 👍
    73
  90. Whoever created the algorithm is a massive floof.
    71
  91. I've got two hyperactive children, and I'm thinking of taking up class A drugs. I mean, those drugs got an A, they must be awesome.
    70
  92. Just in case I ever feel in some way pointlessly optimistic, I always watch Andrew's excellent daily content. My cheerful demeanour has been delayed, yet again. 😂
    69
  93. Boris has a "punch me" face, not "punch you". Get your facts right, Abbott.
    68
  94. Unless psychological and economic depression cure C-19, I can't see another lockdown working.
    68
  95. Keith's mate has found a great way of creating herd immunity. Well done to all those who are looking out for others, not just themselves. 😂
    67
  96. Well, we all know what this Christmas will be about... Civil Disobedience! I feel more strongly about the Christmas than a white, media studies student feels about supporting B. L. M. 🎶Deck the Halls with Covid19, fa la la la laah, and all that shit.
    66
  97. It's a religion of peace! Didn't you listen to the BBC? How many times do they have to say it before you believe them??? 🙁
    63
  98. Thank goodness you can't die of mental illnesses, such as chronic depression. Oh, hang on...
    62
  99. Lineker is the UK's best-paid wing nut.
    62
  100. As a northerner, I'd like a free whippet! I will train it to attack anyone who tries to enforce pointless, damaging and heavily debunked lockdown restrictions.
    62
  101. Hey, the BBC isn't biased, it even has an experienced right-of-middle -ground political correspondent in the form of Andrew Neil. Aaaaaand... He's gone. Okay, they're not even trying to look unbiased, now.
    61
  102. I was once called a fascist on YouTube, for claiming the Acorn Electron was an under-powered home computer. I don't think students understand what real fascism is, so they're not going to be interested on the political source of any financial donations.
    60
  103. A lot has been made of Megan's ethnicity... I can't be the only person who had no clue she wasn't white. Let's face it, next to Prince Harry, most people look like they're from the BAME community.
    59
  104. Keir could make this exact speech and have no repercusions. He doesn't care and continually gets away with it. What him on PM's questiontime. He knows it's all meaningless and blatently avoids tough questions.
    59
  105. Can't you just sell your dad's biscuits? Most people love ginger nuts and a sponge finger.
    57
  106. Brave words from Johnny, legitimate person of colour. As a chunky man, and Gregg's enthusiast, I also consider myself "Brave", but my GP says I need to lose 5 stones of bravery.
    57
  107. Woko Ono really knows how to play the media. I wonder what secrets she will reveal when she becomes increasingly desperate for attention?
    56
  108. I just can't get behind they/them as a pronoun. I was happily oblivious to pronouns until a few years ago, and trying to use "they" in a sentence where "he" usually does the trick melts my brain. Like Stewie Griffin once said... "Good for they".
    53
  109. They should be called the World Health DISorganisation. Oh yeah, I said it.
    53
  110. No mask for me. Unless I'm shopping in Lidl. Then it's two masks.
    53
  111. My Mrs is taking the kids to France for the week, leaving me to wallow in my own crapulence, order takeaways and generally wander around in my underpants. If I don't get banned by Deliveroo, something has gone horribly wrong.
    52
  112.  @justchris123  I don't mind if she's genuinely gay. I just don't wont her making any life decisions based on TikTok.
    52
  113. Andrew has a way with words, doesn't he?
    52
  114. Comedy, ladies and gentlemen. 😨I agree with every word, Andrew, and fuck me, I'm now depressed.
    50
  115. "...they're living their dream" 😁 The most cynical punchline I've ever heard.
    50
  116. I'm starting to get all my news from this channel. Not sure if that's a good thing, or not. Okay, realistically, it's not.
    50
  117. I assumed it would be those who want the vaccine have it, and those that don't, live with any consequences. What happened to individual responsibility?
    50
  118. I'll be the first to admit, that a bottle of wine, and 5+ pints of lager would also give me "mental health issues". 😂
    50
  119. Devon residents should be grateful... They now know how to spell diarrhoea. 😂
    49
  120. I wonder how many of the ‘twitter pile on’ claim to be anti-bullying.
    48
  121. I understand students will be indoctrinated with "anti" racism, and ironically, after graduation they will be anti employable.
    47
  122. I've never seen such a nil-nil drubbing. I'm no longer proud to be English, and will take no pleasure whatsoever when Scotland get annihilated in the next round.
    47
  123. I knelt down, but when I got up, I still felt privileged. What am I doing wrong?
    47
  124. I clapped for the first time on Thursday, and I never felt more socially awkward. Bugger that, the NHS will have to get by without my rigid, enforced appreciation.
    47
  125. I'm so pleased we're being cleansed of the scourge of slavery. Until recently, when anarchists started removing statues, everyone was pro-slavery, so well done, Prof, and your righteous foot-soldiers.
    46
  126. I'd apologise for my Britishness, but that's just rubbing it in. Sorry. (damn it)
    45
  127. I believe she recorded her time at the palace. No one would do such a thing with good intentions.
    45
  128. A Dr called me on Friday. I asked why she called me and she informed me I requested the call. Apparently, I made that request nearly three weeks ago. I don't remember what was wrong with me three weeks ago, but it's just as well that time is a healer, cos the NHS isn't.
    45
  129. You're welcome! When I get fed up with office work, I find motivation knowing most of my tax is going to a bunch of scroungers almost as grateful as you.
    45
  130. If I was married to Woko Ono, I'd fly back to London, too.
    44
  131. There's nothing like slipping-under the radar, is there? 😁 I'm still listening to the Phil Collins song that popped into my head upon seeing the title of this video. I wish you nothing but good luck, Mr L. 👍
    44
  132. We live in a society where the worst admin assistant is valued more that the best mother.
    44
  133. Andrew's got money to throw away on tabards! How the other half live.
    44
  134. I was a posh little book wanker. Just a wanker, now.
    43
  135. If we can't speak freely without judgement, we might as well not talk at all.
    43
  136.  @paulyoung4422  there's always a client in the barber's chair, next to the window, but I'm pretty sure it's the same guy every time. 😀
    42
  137. I paid for, and watched, Louis’ latest album. It was probably the funniest comedy hour I’ve seen since he 90s. I don’t believe it would have been as funny if he hadn’t been a social pariah for five years.
    42
  138. Keir Starmer is like the black woman in hindsight from Family Guy.
    41
  139. Germany were shamed into providing tanks to the Ukraine. I completely understand their reluctance... Poking that Russian bear with a stick until it bites seems a foolhardy foreign policy. How this will end is anyone's guess but it will be unpleasant.
    41
  140. Rich and entitled aside, he's still got ginger bollocks.
    40
  141. Does Pizza Express offer underage girls? I didn't even think they had an ice cream machine. Don't get me wrong, I'd expect those kind of shenanigans from Pizza Hut.
    40
  142. If "Ho's" like anything, it's banging and a high-vis jacket.
    40
  143. Perhaps this is Andrew's most controversial video to date. Great stuff! Personally, I prefer the Catholic church's stance, because as a white male, I might get touched up. Any port in a storm, and all that.
    40
  144. I'm pretty sure the license fee will soon be collected as part of sharia law, and a fatwa issued to those delinquent in payment. "Land of Woke-arsed Stories"? No? Oh well, please yourselfs.
    39
  145. I love diversity in TV programming! It makes every show look like something from The Muppets... Turn on the telly and there's a white one, a black one, one with purple hair, often a bear, a green one that tells everyone what to do, and one that's three times larger than the others. We all love The Muppets, so lets embrace diversity. 👍🤣
    39
  146. If this wonder drug is deep-fried I might give it a go.
    39
  147. I don't think I've heard anyone express commonsense views in such a succinct and accurate way.
    39
  148. Oh well. At least we don’t live in Australia.
    38
  149. I thought Andrew was getting soft when he suggested some women are capable of the physical strength required to become a firefighter. Then he called them "Steroidal bull dykes". Nice one, Mr Lawrence, and it's good to see you haven't lost your edge.
    38
  150. Don't ask a copper confusing, trick questions such as "How are you?". They hate that.
    37
  151. Perfect.
    37
  152. That's dark... I can practically smell the piss from here, though.
    36
  153. I think I speak for everyone when I said "WHAT THAT ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON?????"
    36
  154. This is by far the most brutal of Andrew's monologues... That can't be good 😨😂
    35
  155. Tip: 5 sheets of toilet paper lasts twice as long if you use both sides.
    34
  156. 🎶"Crappy birthday to you, Crappy birthday to you... etc...."
    34
  157. I believe the inflation rate of the UK to be greater than that of the US. If the US is now the benchmark of a meltdown, where, in comparison, is the UK?
    33
  158. If I remember, psychologists say any child that has an irreconcilable and damaging sense of personal guilt will always grow to be a healthy and productive adult. My memory may be fuzzy.
    33
  159. Black Beard... once a pirate, now a trigger. Andrew's humour is as dark as ever.
    33
  160. Every so often I achieve a somewhat delusional state of optimism. Thanks, Andrew for giving me the reality check I needed... No, things are not okay and they probably never will be. 👍😂
    33
  161. Hey, Santa is very judgemental, and doesn't give presents to Jews or Muslims. That's gotta be wrong. (if you have too much time on your hands and a purple haircut). Cancel Santa!
    32
  162. It's about time Dr Zuess got what's coming to him... What the hell are green eggs??? Public money well spent, in my opinion.
    32
  163. This video practically gave me PTSD... The thought of his helicopter nob is just icing on the cake. 😮
    32
  164. These are like a dark Alan Bennett talking head. Andrew just needs to mention "that woman across the street", and "macaroons".
    32
  165. There will be enough booster scars on our arms to have us branded "pFizer". Just join the dots. 😁
    32
  166. This is the only time I will click on a "Prince" Harry link.
    32
  167. I wonder when Starmer will hand back The Falklands. Sorry, I mean "Malvinas". After all, Argentina was only formed three hundred AFTER we colonised it. Their claim is as legit as anyone else's 😂
    31
  168. They can take my freedom, but they'll never take my Midget Gems!!!!!!!!!
    31
  169. Don't bother with a gastric band... they are ineffective and taste disgusting. Pass me a chocolate biscuit, I think we could all do with some chocolatey, digestive goodness, ATM. P. S. I think there should be some honest, yet practical prioritising between health care, mental health, and the economy. No one wants to take the bull by the horns, but someone has to.
    31
  170. If I've noticed one thing about Australians working in the UK... They really appreciate the climate.
    31
  171.  @mallard4495  Sometimes I watch adverts from the 80's and 90's. The families are mum, dad and a couple of kids. Usually white. Not always. A bit like the UK still is, today. I don't know what version of reality modern advertisers are trying to show us, or how they think it will actually sell products.
    31
  172. Weaponized pork pies don't sound dangerous, but, an empty jar of pickled onions can easily become a belt-and-braces molotov cocktail... both vinegary and flammable. Take care PC Pisspot.
    31
  173. It would have been a lot more convenient for media hacks, if Noel was white.
    30
  174. Oh no, we're gonna get a "mostly peaceful" rise in violent crime.
    30
  175. Those whose potential to harm others is both credible and obvious have the most human rights, it seems. 😳
    30
  176. Still, we try and keep ourselves cheerful, eh?
    30
  177. Is this a period drama? Post-op trans menstruation means they chose the wrong Dr. Harry Potter books can be adapted into a makeshift tampon, should unexpected menstruation occur.
    30
  178. Just think... One license fee is paying for the entire budget of the BBC's right-of-centre comedy. That license fee is well worth it! 👍
    29
  179. Reassuring words from an expert. I feel so much better about the situation, now.
    29
  180. There isn't a Golly emoji, for some reason.
    29
  181. It's not all bad. Once you're 50, all that will matter on your CV will be your job experience. So, if you can hang in there for 32 years, the last 15 will be simple. Good luck!
    29
  182. We all felt his frustration.
    29
  183. Surely our attempts to resolve environmental issues are only making things worse, mainly because most of our time is spent "pissing into the wind".
    29
  184. If I remember correctly, one of Keith Lemon's best characters was called "Rastus the Golliwog", who wanted nothing more than that "sweet, white ass, Aw yeah!". Even at the time, I thought that was a bit near the knuckle.
    29
  185. Sadiq embraces trendy issues with almost as much enthusiasm as he avoids tackling knife crime. By the way... Why "BAME"? Does anyone think that black and Asian people have anything in common and want to be grouped together in a woke acronym?
    28
  186. Is it bad that I'm starting to get my news from this channel?
    28
  187. I have to say, our departure from the EU is going pretty well, so far. The EU are looking like petulant toddlers. I had my reservations, but the UK has really hit the ground running. 👍
    28
  188. I wish everyone a decadent and bourgeois Christmas 👍🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄
    28
  189. "Yeet, I've been shot by a Russian, no cap, fam. His rizz game was mid, brah. Deep sus energy."
    28
  190. If anyone can definitively answer Andrew's question, could you please chime in?
    27
  191. @@HarryHaller-gm3fe Mainly because of the hypocrisy. However, you're right, things like this should not irritate me, but they still do, and on channels like this I get to vent, perhaps with like-minded individuals, or on occasion, people like you. 😁
    27
  192. Keith's clean-shaven look is akin to that of a Grange Hill character, rather than a ne'er-do-well.
    27
  193. 🎵"So, here it is, Merry Christmas, and nobody's having fun."
    27
  194. It's true! Being an ineffective leader of the opposition is a somewhat weak reason to be ejected from a pub. I'd at least gone with "causing affray" for a bit of badass credibility.
    26
  195. I was a single man in 1998. I bought my first house for £45000. I didn't think anything of it. It's such a great shame what is happening to those under thirty.
    26
  196. Was it ever going to be different? You know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. If I should want WW3, it would not be over a country I couldn't point to on a map. Yeah, my geography is shite.
    26
  197. I think we're about to find out how resistant Joe Die-soon is to polonium. 😨 At least Washington DC is a more credible "holiday destination".
    26
  198. I'm taking my kids to watch "Oppenheimer" whether they like it or not.
    25
  199. I've often thought Alex Salmond could be weaponised.
    25
  200. I just thought the global situation might be a "win" for once. Honestly, she could suck the energy out of a rave.
    25
  201. We were personally assured the WhatsApp outage was "entirely due to technical issues" and "there's no evidence your user data has been compromised". Phew, that's a relief! I'd like to point out I'm in no way "doing your wife". See? There's no need for suspicion, now, is there?
    25
  202. I'm white and despicable, however, those two things are not related.
    25
  203. Gregg's, who now give us pronouns with our lard-wrapped tubes of animal slurry, no longer use puff pastry. 😁
    24
  204. Honestly, I haven't watched Channel 4 since the 80's. I think I've watched ITV3+1 more. Who did they get to buy it? 😨 My brother watches it... What will he watch to become more self-hating, now?
    23
  205. Maybe her husband has a tiny winky, and this is her way of venting her frustrations. Perhaps, instead of endangering people's lives, she could try a BBC.
    23
  206. Nice black face... You can't cancel the already cancelled, so well done. 😂👍🏻
    23
  207. Is it also the "International Day of Sarcasm?" because then it makes sense.
    22
  208. Now the MSM use clickbait, they have no integrity, and should be treated with nothing but scepticism and distain.
    22
  209. The Tories have been feeding us shit on a daily basis for some time, now, so saving money on our weekly food shop is a lot easier. Thanks, government! 👍
    22
  210. You can't get Covid from leeks or sheep. I don't know how Wales got into this predicament.
    22
  211. So brave. Succeeded, despite male privilege, and a kind deed for every poor, unfortunate.
    22
  212.  @chrismith251  I'm sure he'll look back with regret.
    21
  213. The title alone is the funniest thing I've read in ages.
    21
  214. My video is set, and I'm ready to snitch... I'm a local hero.
    20
  215. I have to say, Brexit seems to be going swimmingly 😂
    20
  216. I notice they dropped the trumped-up assault charges against Assange. What a shit show. He's every right to be mad as a box of frogs.
    20
  217. So many top tips, except we didn't get his dealer's number.
    20
  218. I personally think he can stick his winky wherever he wants, and I'll do the same.
    20
  219. It's not democracy. It's a dilemma.
    19
  220. Glad you've got our backs! I often wonder if "members" of Antifa are aware of the concept of irony.
    19
  221. They probably would, but not the Isle of Man.
    19
  222.  @monteceitomoocher  you'd think choosing who's privileged and who isn't is intrinsically privileged
    19
  223. He makes me very angry, but its great to see Sgt. Pisspot. Kumbiyah, indeed. 😂
    19
  224. If capable, and hard-working, industrialists such as Musk could influence UK politics even further, that would be fine by me 👍
    18
  225. My dad is eighty. We don’t let him use the TV remote or govern a country with a large nuclear arsenal. It’s just common sense.
    18
  226. That's a war crime.
    18
  227. I went to the clinic for blood test a couple of days ago. The building was locked, I had to use an intercom and plead my case for entry. Once inside I was the only one there, and I fully expected someone to sell me meth. I still had to wait half-an-hour for a nurse (not a doctor). Balls to the NHS. We're going to see economic depression the likes of which we have never seen, making our protection of the NHS seem completely irrelevant.
    18
  228. He was a real fighter. A constant in all our lives. We'll miss the old bugger.
    18
  229. I've seen this guy live in Lincoln. It was a tough crowd, but he still had us rolling-around the aisles with laughter. The kind of laughter when you have to remember to breathe. It's one of my favourite comedy gigs. Thanks for the fond memories, Andrew.
    18
  230. It's gonna get really ugly. He seems to be the only one oblivious to that.
    18
  231. I'm pretty sure Prince Harry just wants to be left alone in his shed, with a few artistic magazines and a decent cup-of-tea.
    18
  232. I only came here for the Professor's opinion on fuzzy felt. I was disappointed.
    17
  233. If I wear blackface, will I be more vulnerable to Covid?
    17
  234.  @chatteyj  if tackling immigration could be done be taxing us more, they would do it, yes.
    17
  235. Well, that's cheered me up, no end.
    17
  236. Not every person of colour in Britain is second generation Jamaican. I didn't think I could be particularly offended by racism, but when I have to pay for it... 😨😡
    17
  237. Ah, PC Pisspot, we've missed you. I, personally, often miss the PissPot.
    17
  238.  @jjrider6758  That's a good point... So how do they expect to sell stuff? That is still what adverts are for, surely?
    17
  239. I believe Andrew made an amusing comment on Twitter. Why anyone would wish to join that purple-haired cesspit of hateful prats is beyond me. It's members certainly don't represent the views of the majority.
    17
  240. Andrew's dog appears to be judging him. I can only assume he's a university-educated, woke doggo.
    17
  241. China really has got away with it.
    16
  242. Waterboarding! That's how I'm gonna get my kids in line. Mental scarring, with no incriminating physical injury. Thank you, PC Pisspott!
    16
  243. @Johnnie W Stop spoiling my fun.😉
    16
  244. There's gentlemen's relish on the internet? I was not aware of this. Who knows what they'll do next.
    16
  245. I stopped watching when they featured a female comedian whose haircut reminded me of my dad's brain surgery.
    16
  246.  @matthewlockey5965  Certainly, the news, these days, is both bewildering and feels like its designed to make us feel powerless.
    16
  247. I voted REMAIN, but now, I just want to leave... The pandemic has shined a light on how pointless the EU is. Everyone spoke of unity, but, when the sh*t hit the fan, each country was out for itself (especially Germany). Good riddance to the over-priced, under-performing trading block, we're leaving, we won't be the last country to do so, and to bring out an oldie but goldie: "Up yours, Delores!"
    16
  248.  @mikestevens5837  Yep. I guess when the weather is relentlessly warm, you enjoy a bit of variety.
    16
  249. I see it's party time round the Lawrence household.
    16
  250. If you've got her address, we could just send cheques directly to her, to set things right.
    16
  251. I saw Andrew Lawrence at the engine shed in Lincoln a few years ago. It was an odd venue, not the main auditorium, and I think the crowd were a little subdued. He was bloody funny though, and quite happy to point out what an odd gig it was.
    16
  252. Well done PC Pisspot, its the only way these wrong-doers will learn. I invite you to smell my finger at your earliest convenience.
    15
  253. Yeah... When can I start riding my eScooter without looking for cops? It's ecological, or some shit like that.
    15
  254. I'm surprised more people aren't mentioning this.
    15
  255. I didn't watch the football, cos something about football feels really, really, super gay. Still, if you watched it, I applaud the lifestyle choice of you and others in your "community". Bender.
    15
  256. I'm pretty sure I once heard a chicken say "K...K...K...". Maybe that's what they're on about.
    15
  257. I hope they give a huge pay rise to the binmen who refused to empty my recycling bin because some of the plastic was "too thin". They really deserve what's coming to them. 🙄
    15
  258. I wonder if we'll be allowed to see relatives, this Christmas? I can't stand my relatives. 🎄🎅🎶"Oh, I wish it could be Lockdown, every day, where the bells are ringing and something, something etc...".
    15
  259. I sometimes read the Guardian online, because it's free. I can't help but feel ripped-off.
    15
  260. I have to say, I've been to France not-so-long-ago, and they're also getting pretty fat. Maybe they've started deep-frying their snails.
    15
  261. If you have been burgled and know the perpetrator, feel free to post some transphobic hate speech on their behalf to ensure swift police action and potential imprisonment. 😂
    15
  262. I had to look up the word “pegging”. I wish I hadn’t.
    15
  263. Who of us hasn't thought "What a bunch of wankers", before?
    14
  264. To my eyes, some lady's masks are starting to look like lingerie. Should I be ashamed of myself?
    14
  265.  @johnwade1095  Come on, man!
    14
  266. I honestly am struggling to give a shit this, too. I'm more concerned about the government's complete lack of competence... A situation which I believe is ongoing. They weren't just incompetent for one night, last year.
    14
  267. Brian Shithouse speaks the truth! He's low on gonads, but high on common sense.
    14
  268. Surely the glue industry will pay for a robust defence of these poor, incarcerated individuals?
    14
  269.  @TEMPLAR969  Bradford. 😉
    14
  270. Maybe it's like completing a Costa coffee reward card. Six snitches and you get your badge.
    14
  271. The more the Anglican church align with "the current thing", the less appealing they are.
    14
  272. It's been interesting watching Andrew's channel grow over the pandemic, thanks to his take no sides/prisoners humour.
    14
  273. Maybe "freedom from logic".
    13
  274. I've no Falklands what you mean! 😁
    13
  275. I didn't even know what a pronoun was until the age of 50. These seven-year-olds will have the leg-up that I never did. 🤣
    13
  276. The epilets look legit, but the badge does not. Either way, the dog is now buried.
    13
  277. I paid solemn respect to the greatest generation, who saved us from the Nazi jackboot, by staying in and having a wank. It's what grandad would have wanted, considering the extensive collection of "Knave", "Escort" and "Mayfair" magazines I found under his bed.
    13
  278. You're a real trailblazer, Unemployment Guru. Your advice is more relevant than ever. Thank you.
    13
  279. I saw this clip. It was shocking, to say the least. If you chat to people from America on the comments section, they think we're racists... I had one claim we were racist because of "Love thy Neighbour".
    13
  280. They'll be after Dr Zeus, next. 😢 Being a sentient orangutan might save him from the current wave of cancellations, but it's only a matter of time.
    13
  281. No one is blaming the man on the street. Especially as they're not longer allowed on the street. 😂
    13
  282. Lax gun laws are a one way trip… once you give the people that kind of power, there’s no going back. Damage limitation is as good as at gets. At best. Also, yes, 18yo girls should put out more.
    13
  283. I think Liz did a great job with diversity hiring, but then, I love the circus. Do any of them have buckets that potentially have water, but in reality, have confetti?
    12
  284. I'm starting to understand eScooters, now.
    12
  285.  @jordangann7438  safety in numbers.
    12
  286. I'd totally do that Borisia... She's begging for it, the dirty cow.
    12
  287.  @justchris123  I knew what you meant, and this is a comments section where you don't have to carefully phrase everything so as not to cause offense.👍
    12
  288. It's the mediocre kids I worry about. Those with exceptional talent can rise to the top which speaks volumes about British society. However, what about those abused who aren't particularly troublesome, but aren't particularly gifted... They're the ones who can slip through the cracks.
    12
  289. Too white, too male, too straight, and yes, I can hear you, Clem Fandango.
    12
  290. What's worse is there's no credible infrastructure to train and find employment for gifted tradesmen.
    12
  291. Jerry Sadowitz was once assaulted on a Canadian stage when starting his set with "Hello, Moose-fuckers!". May he never learn his "lesson". 👍
    11
  292. Whenever I hear about Prince Charles I think about the Rod Hull lookalike that is Camilla. Whatever you think of her, she went from bit-on-the-side to Queen of England. Talk about playing the long game. Well done Queeny!
    11
  293. One good thing... You're no longer considered racist if you express concern about the boats. The bad thing... That's because it's destroying seaside towns and communities trying to go about their business next to massive migrant hotels. (like my daughter's sixth form college at Scampton).
    11
  294. The police should be grateful the victim wasn't from the BAME community... How many statues would that cost us???
    11
  295.  @moodyguymick  No one deserves the that... Okay, maybe Prince Andrew.
    11
  296. Brought a tear to my eye. Testify, Mr L!
    11
  297. I wish something would hit Talk Radio DJ's like a double decker bus. 🚌
    11
  298. It's nice to see Digestives, although I often enjoy a sponge finger.
    11
  299. It's Andrew's best intro.
    11
  300. ​ @stubones  ...and diversity in everyway but opinion.
    11
  301. Not Spunksock again!
    11
  302. That isn't the same packet of biscuits as his last video! What happened to them? 😂
    11
  303.  @kevinsavage808  extra soup at no extra cost. 😁
    11
  304. Greta's here, and we should all feel guilty. 😂
    11
  305. I just hope our new migrating friends have enough free housing and benefits. I'd hate to think we, in some way, discouraged illegal immigrants. There's plenty of government money for everyone. 😳
    11
  306. I got my payslip the other day, and noticed my tax deduction is huge. I mean immense, and that's no brag, I'm not paid particularly well. What is this money being spent on? We are seeing nothing to compensate for what is, basically, theft.
    10
  307. Frogs are completely resistant to C-19... All amphibians are.
    10
  308.  @nonoyorbusness  All the better to subjugate you with. 😂
    10
  309. Humour is a construct of the patriarchy, and used to oppress minorities. Thankfully, the BBC has realised this and made sure all its comedy output is completely devoid of phallocentric, so called "laughter".
    10
  310. Remember the queen in the 1940's, when she was just a princess, rallying the troops, and repairing Land Rovers? She was quite hot, then.
    10
  311. China does appear to have dodged any repercussions for their part in the pandemic. It kinda gives them a foreign policy blank cheque. I wonder what they'll do with it. 😨
    10
  312. Enjoy your felatio, Mr Double-Barrelled.
    10
  313. I don't see what all the fuss is about. I assume he wasn't "minister for keeping his hands to himself" was he? I'm not even sure if such a position exists. This isn't news... The day I look to MPs for moral guidance is the day I look to Ronald MacDonald for diet advice.
    10
  314. It's nice that he wishes America the best of luck. I always thought he was quite critical of the states.
    10
  315. Brian and Brian's mattress speak the truth.
    10
  316. I agree that poaching graduates from foreign countries is ultimately short-sighted and causes problems in the UK job market, and for the graduate's country of origin, but at least we have some form of flexibility. The EU will choke on it's own inertia, soon enough.
    10
  317. I don't care what anyone says, some women need to wears masks, pandemic or not. Perhaps one with a smile printed on it, to pretend they've got a sense of humour.
    10
  318. You've just won the Internet! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
    10
  319. Nice to see the constable's beard growing back in. 👍🤣
    10
  320.  @philiprufus4427  you must be English.
    9
  321.  @lookandlisten5740  I comfort eat, which is why I'm starting to have the dimensions of a sofa. Sofas are comfy.
    9
  322.  @joannegoodwin6263  If the EU kept to it's original remit of "Trading block", I'd be all for it. It just grew into a sprawling mess of unelected government bureaucracy.
    9
  323. If nothing else, America needs a voting system that is completely transparent, and beyond reasonable criticism. Any doubt, and the democratic process will have no credibility, then anarchic organisations will continue to ruin it for everyone.
    9
  324. Ah, Boris. I'd be mad, if he wasn't such a looker.
    9
  325. I dread to think about the next generation of adults... It will be an absolute circus.
    9
  326. It’s the final solution!
    9
  327. Karl or Groucho? Either is hilarious.
    9
  328. Just out of interest... How diverse is the Norwegian team? I mean, given 93% of Norway is white, and all that. I wasn't curious enough to actually watch a women's football match to find out, though.
    9
  329.  @shongololo9778  Fascism... "Authoritarian ultra-nationalism characterized by dictatorial power, forcible suppression of opposition and strong regimentation of society" Swap a couple of words from that definition of fascism and that's the BLM movement.
    9
  330. I was expecting an impression of Andrew Lawrence, but didn't get one. I'm sure it would be quite accurate.
    9
  331.  @lucyallsop88  It's all about "perceived value" by management. Those that that put their heads down, and get on the their job don't have any perceived value. Those that are excellent at self-promotion, regardless of ability, are valued by management.
    9
  332.  @andrewdaley5375  chocolate ones, no less. Those out-of-touch celebrities. 😂
    9
  333. All this clapping... it's just not the British way. Showing individual gratitude, and quiet appreciation is more us.
    9
  334. I'm not sure why train fares achieved parity with taxi fares. Strange that. Merry bloody Christmas.
    8
  335. I don't think he's interesting enough to be a Marxist.
    8
  336. Personally, I can't wait for the coming months as I'm a huge fan of "Mad Max" and other apocalyptic cinema. Now excuse me, while I pop out for some "guzzoline".
    8
  337.  @10beanz  You're absolutely right! Those Twitter morons can't have a discussion without comparing someone to Hitler.
    8
  338.  @James-gf9jl  Exactly! It's not like we like to live like hermits, but when you're a "family man" it's good to have some solitude. 👍
    8
  339.  @davehunter9342  Maybe that's why they're so flush... Living of the "never-never" as my dad used to call it. 😂
    8
  340. THIS VIDEO CAUSES ME ANXIETY, AND I SHOULD, NAY HAVE THE RIGHT TO, ORDER FIVE BURLY COPPERS ROUND YOUR PLACE TO TELL YOU HOW ANXIOUS I NOW AM. I ONLY WISH THERE WAS A DOUBLE CAPSLOCK!!!!
    8
  341. Whilst the police are trying to defuse tension, this seems to be tension based purely within the Muslim community. I don't like the idea of thugs pushing their ideology, but perhaps if there were some "right wing" thugs, the police would realise that "tension" pandering is pointless, and they should stick to law enforcement, instead.
    8
  342.  @craigs71  it's the most rank hypocrisy that would make even Bojo blush.
    8
  343. I have underpants bigger than Keith's England shirt.
    8
  344. Well, NOW I'm depressed.
    8
  345. I just hope the purple-haired activists Tabatha and Jemima's expensive education was good enough to provide an instant and effective alterative to oil, or else how will they get to this year's gymkhana?
    8
  346. So "Hot air balloons" are now used in climate change statistics? What happened to things being "The size of Wales"?
    8
  347. Does anyone want to give Johnny their slot? I'm pretty sure I don't.
    8
  348.  @SsTONEDToOBITsS  I'm sure I saw something like that in a documentary. Oh hang on, it was Star Trek. 😁
    8
  349. We're allowed to have a picnic??? What Bacchanalian reverie is this? I never thought I'd see such hedonism in my time.
    8
  350.  @philipkershaw3557  I think we're at a point where the economic impact should be paramount. We're on the edge of a precipice.
    8
  351. This is my new benchmark for "You can't that, surely". Well done for you honestly, Mr L.
    8
  352. Boris's desperate diversion is our gain. Let's hope he keeps messing-up, and we keep benefiting. (and let's face it, he will).
    8
  353.  J A Thompson  maybe they thought she was there to refill his pill organiser.
    8
  354. I thought he'd just had a really good idea.
    7
  355.  @marge2225  that's almost certainly true. Thankfully, I can't be arsed.
    7
  356. I've lost 50 kilos on Ozempic. I needed to lose it, as you can imagine. However, if people want to abuse drugs, let them. Whatever the drug, for whatever purpose. As long as they know the risks, personal responsibility is both wonderful and sadly lacking in todays nanny state.
    7
  357.  @samuelfazers  Oh no!!! Now you've said that, all the pieces fit!!! What will I do??? Order a nice curry for tea. 👍
    7
  358.  @HistAri2  Those treacherous woolly beasts!
    7
  359.  @ebantink4843  True indeed. That constant debate as to whether slavery was right or wrong has now been answered. Thanks, B-L-M! Now, if only someone could tell me whether or not water is wet, and fire is hot.
    7
  360. You can't give people that kind of (gun) power, and expect to take it away without issue. They opened Pandora's box o' guns, and they have to live with it.
    7
  361.  @Jaded-Wanderer  How dare you!
    7
  362. The pronoun for all till operators is "it". Sometimes they are called "Mongo".
    7
  363.  @janettebarr6538  Yeah, they want to wear cool suits and tell people what to do. No one is clambering for the right to work on an oil rig.
    7
  364.  Geoff Wode  I know naarthing. 😉👍
    7
  365. Still, he did fund Tubular Bells, and er... Tubular Bells 2.
    7
  366. They only need to look at Netflix, Disney, Gillette, etc... to see how "woke = customer poison". I guarantee one thing... Halifax may well lose customers due to this pronoun wankery, but will gain no new accounts, as the purple-haired prats who usually fall for this bollocks still live with their mum and don't need a mortgage.
    7
  367.  @andywright9194  Who doesn't enjoy a good malinger. 👍
    7
  368. I'm not concerned about ICBM's and the like. It's the smaller, lesser-impact nukes that Putin might just think he can use without retaliation. Although, it is worth pointing-out there's only one country that's actually used nuclear weapons in anger.
    7
  369. Offences which have a maximum sentence of ten years... "Cruelty to persons under 16", "Administering poison etc. so as to endanger life", "Possession of firearm without certificate", "Indecent assault on a woman", "Indecent assault on a man". And now, drawing a willy on my local statue. Seems fair.
    7
  370. Owen Jones middle name is "Neutral" 🤣
    7
  371.  @methylene5  what a frightening thought. 😨
    7
  372. Still. At least it's not Yodel.
    7
  373.  Jake Bullet  Correct. I'd better give her a slap, to teach her about tolerance.
    7
  374.  @Jaygraterthanyou  LOL. Where's Basil Brush when you need him? 🤣
    7
  375. I like that his jumper has food stains on it. That's attention to detail. 🤣Oh hang on, the packet of biscuits isn't down to the last three. That's ruined the authenticity. However, as a fellow fat northerner, I approve of this humorous video.👍
    7
  376. @3rd Ear People are quite judgemental of parents, these days. Fifty years ago, I could smack her arse, and no one would bat an eyelid. Now it's "I hope you're not wearing a mask in front of her". Thanks. 😂
    7
  377. Yeah, cos America was all over that shit in 1982! 😉Lucky us. ☹
    6
  378. I hope Johnny doesn't resort to appearing on "Frankie B's New World Order". The forced diversity made it look like something from "Fraggle Rock", and everyone laughed nervously as a black comedian used the word "Whitey". I had more laughs at my cystoscopy.
    6
  379. We're all old enough to remember "Threads", and all that scare-mongering? I'm shitting meself!!!
    6
  380. Welcome back, C*ntstubble.
    6
  381. Apparently, we're all like Ned Flanders, paying tax for "people who just don't want to work, God bless 'em".
    6
  382. He needs to do a gay. Not literally, I mean one of his characters could give an alphabet perspective on the news that is both inclusive and in no way controversial. 👍
    6
  383.  @PhilBarrett789  However daft it is to us, I'm sure you would wish him/her/them/they/when/where to be happy with whatever choices they make... The demand for bigots now outstrips supply.
    6
  384. I can't help but think Andrew's naturally red hair and vitamin-D-dodging pallor helped when making his video. I'd like to see him have a try Rishi Sunak, next. 😂
    6
  385.  @MrMonkeyhanger  I have some Chinese people in my family. Culturally, they have less in common with black people that white people do. BAME is a reductive, and ignorant expression used by white SJW's.
    6
  386.  @davidbarlow350  Maybe so... I heard he's fond of a chocolate ring, but that might be Prince Edward.
    6
  387. This is a worryingly coherent argument.
    6
  388. The BBC are a bunch of sneering, elitists with nothing but contempt for how the majority feels. I quite liked Downton Abbey, though. Oh hang on, that was ITV. I have to agree that the BBC's "Marxist c*ntwaffle" is second-to-none. 👍
    6
  389. I hope they get tooled-up for "Kill Bill Vol. 2". Uma Thurman could feel the wrong end of my truncheon!
    6
  390. I watched Russell Howard's comedy devolve from harmless, family-based comedy to whinging woke rants, where there's no laughs as much as thinly-veiled rhetoric, at which, we are supposed to applaud. He jumped ship to Sky, because the BBC is dying on its arse. There won't be many of his kind, soon enough and maybe we can go back to laughing at comedians making actual bloody jokes.
    6
  391.  @malcolmhouston7932  ...And there you have it. The current situation summed up in one question. We were a tolerant society that happily let people celebrate whatever religious festivals they wished (quite rightly). Now, our traditions are being shut down, cos racism.
    6
  392.  @simontuffs4106  he worked in IT, there was plenty of choice.
    6
  393. So, America funds gain-of-function research in China, and a British comedian is dying on his arse. You wouldn't think those things could be connected.
    6
  394.  @rb1062  My favourite Groiniad article was the one announcing Ellen Page's transition to become Elliot Page. Normally, when a an article is written, they use the subject's surname (e.g. "Jones went on a booze-filled bender"), but instead they kept using the pronoun "he", presumably to show support for the actor, but it came across like a six-year-old writing about their dad. "His name is Elliot, he is now a man, he rides a bike" kinda thing. Honestly, it's a fun read if you look it up.
    6
  395. Daft question, I know, but, given we're not particularly religious, what actually is inherently offensive about Santa, presents, snow and all that bollocks? Diwali, the festival of lights, as another example, sounds fun, and I'd never wish to stop anyone else's traditions.
    6
  396. I feel sorry for those youngsters who are gifted and want to work. They will not be rewarded.
    6
  397.  @rolanddeschain965  I know, and yet everyone's saying she's experienced more hardship and prejudice than an Ethiopian refugee.
    6
  398. Does "this is me" remind anyone else of Mike Yarwood? I'm so old.
    6
  399. I say it's time to give the Tories a a chance... What's the worst that can happen? We vote for conservatism and get socialism? I find that very difficult to imagine. 😂
    6
  400.  @poppedweasel  I think it's a few "dollars", which I happily paid for. Let's face it, he's not making money from legacy mainstream TV anymore.
    6
  401. I don't know why the BBC are trying to appeal to Brexit voters. After all, how many Brexiteers can there be? Ten, maybe fifteen at tops.
    6
  402.  @henrykirkman4716  I'm getting "Hep C" just thinking about it.
    6
  403.  @spacegirl226  Oh well, at least we've still got unfettered free speech. (only kidding)
    6
  404. I'm just going to wander around, licking supermarket trolleys.
    6
  405.  @rebeccaconlon9743  or, be judged and cancelled. I completely understand why people toe the line, and keep their head down.
    6
  406. I'm not coming out of my cupboard until all of this is over.
    6
  407.  @LC_from_MO  isn't it just.
    5
  408.  @bleedingfly  No, it's the car driving away
    5
  409.  @Stew282  yeah, there's that 😂
    5
  410. All of Andrew's rant is happening now. 😂
    5
  411. Still. Things could be worse 😨
    5
  412. Sensible rules for a sensible Britain. I just hope they keep all these important and necessary rules once C-19 is no longer an issue. 🤣
    5
  413.  @BBCBrainwashingBritishCitizens  I know, right? But people keep thinking it's real life
    5
  414. Well, NOW I'm depressed. 🤣
    5
  415. Thanks for the info, Batty Boy. The only thing I know about bats is male fruit bats have massive wangs. I went to Disney's animal kingdom, and saw one "knocking one out" in front a a bunch of school kids. He looked very pleased with himself, but the kid's teacher did not.
    5
  416.  @andrewhughes7092  I'm not entirely sure that's a real biscuit, but if Iceland can sell a prawn ring, I'm sure Lidl could do a mean chocolate starfish.
    5
  417.  @collinbradley3854  Our descent into anarchy might as well begin, now. Assuming this isn't already it.
    5
  418.  @nowhereman7813  I'm English... I was making the point that coalmines still existed elsewhere.
    5
  419.  @janettebarr6538  There are always exceptions… tough women, god bless ‘em, 👍
    5
  420. Do people still complain about cultural appropriation? I thought that one was debunked (given as all races / cultures do it, all the time)
    5
  421. Masks have proven to be ineffective outside, and so people no longer wear them. I wonder if any "Karens" (or self-righteous bullies) have regrets regards their actions over the past year?
    5
  422.  @martianmagician6215  It's enforced merriment with the people you spend the rest of the year trying to avoid. What's not to like? 😂
    5
  423. Drunkards and school children have one thing in common... Neither can social distance.
    5
  424.  @cockoffgewgle4993  Work for a living? You've more than paid for your treatment. Until the pandemic, I was a staunch supporter of the NHS, but now it doesn't serve the public, is borderline dangerous to pensioners, and if we ever reach some sort of normality, we need to take a long, hard look at what's going on.
    5
  425. Aw, thanks guys. Is it too early to start drinking?
    5
  426.  @stubones  Meat too!
    5
  427. "Hateful, working-class scum!" That does sum up a certain attitude quite nicely. 😂
    5
  428. Maybe the pandemic and subsequent riots are here to prepare us for "the big one"? I'm guessing an extinction-level asteroid, as this is easier to predict than say, an alcoholic Russian with withdrawal tremors, and his finger hovering over a big, red button.
    5
  429. I've just imagined the Mrs in a bikini and I booked the Ukraine.
    5
  430. Those hateful ducks... Just as well they're crispy.
    5
  431.  @rogernewton7831  😅the fact that that comment makes any sense basically exposes SJW logic for what it is... Nonsense.
    5
  432. Maybe Humza Yousaf was right all along, isn't this a "hate incident"? Perhaps after the murder, a couple of very-apologetic coppers could pop round Mr Baptiste's house and create a "non-crime incident". 😂
    5
  433. Not with my weak throwing-arm.
    5
  434. @:mark: : Thanks, you're one of the good 'uns.
    5
  435.  @pollyparrot8759  'cos that's what families do, and that's why they are important. Purple-haired lefties try and maintain "family" is an outmoded concept, but it's not.
    5
  436.  @Benzknees  I could definitely use a new flat cap!
    5
  437.  @kerry5586  my granddad's whippet was like that. Constantly looked pissed off, too.
    5
  438. He's on the BBC payroll, but also has a basic human right to express his opinions, however unpleasant and predictable they are. Sometimes sticking up for free speech means sticking up for the likes of Gary Linekant. Sadly.
    4
  439. He was a regular on Radio 4, but that was a different era. 😢
    4
  440. I don't understand the lack of extra funding. Those twats at the BBC peddle leftwing nonsense, and look down their OxBridge noses at most of their viewers. They're worth twice what they earn.
    4
  441. What is the current scientific thinking on "hairy palms"?
    4
  442.  @bren70ssss94  Hilarious. I wonder if any black people actually found it funny, or were they cringing with the rest of us?
    4
  443. I've seen Adele and assumed she had, or is in the process of, transitioning. In which case, she can say what she damn well pleases with literally zero consequence.
    4
  444. Could anyone called Dr Micro-Penis really have Marxist views? I guess there's a lot of "Wangs" in China who've embraced communism.
    4
  445.  @SF_951  We both know that not only will I be unable to see Oppenheimer, I'll probably end up having to see "Barbie" twice.
    4
  446.  @Redleggedchicken  I like the brain surgery haircuts some people have. They mean business.
    4
  447.  @kerrybooth7613  I'd say jaundiced panda.
    4
  448. This is where I get my news, these days. Considering there's literally bugger all we can do with the current events, why not? 🤣
    4
  449. Disseminate left-wing propaganda? The BBC? Hardly, they employ Andrew Neil! Oh, they sacked him? Well, I'm sure he was replaced by a journalist with equal experience and ethnicity. 🤣
    4
  450.  @WildB06  Yes. Remember Trump's "impeachment"? 😂
    4
  451. Richard Ayowadi keeps going up in my estimation. There's no reason he shouldn't support Linehan, but I would understand if he didn't.
    4
  452.  @michaelsmall5362  My apologies. I meant to say "X".
    4
  453. My brother is ginger, but I'd never refer to him as "Fanta Pubes" as it wouldn't be considerate towards my alarmingly-coloured, soulless replicant.
    4
  454. I thought we abolished lynch mobs? How come I feel sorry for Piers Morgan? I have questions. 😢😨
    4
  455. Keep doing you, Mr Lawrence! 😁
    4
  456.  @iancampbell3202  Saves on energy. Good thinking... 👍😁
    4
  457. So, no one's pointed-out St George is Turkish, yet? Like that's important for some reason. As if you're supposed to say "the scales have been lifted from my eyes, let's join the Chinese communist party" 😅
    4
  458. Count Dankula learnt context is meaningless in a court of law. Using that logic, saying "H e i l H i t l e r" when someone asks "How did people venerate Hitler?" means you're a criminal. It's that stupid.
    4
  459. @MarkJones-gt2qd Good point. Some things that are broken can not be fixed and looking at other examples of out new, imported culture, it's not looking good.
    4
  460.  @chrismith251  agreed, and why wouldn't they? It had to be us first. We're proof of concept 😅
    4
  461. It's a shame streaming services don't burn like books do.
    4
  462.  @jamesroyce1845  Yes, there's definitely a "Be careful what you wish for" thing going on.
    4
  463. Say you want about Bill Gates, he looks good for his age.
    4
  464. Mosques appear to be far more popular than churches... I wonder why? 🤔 Could it be that Islamic preachers have principles and an unshaken faith in their religion which isn't corrupted by the "current thing", whilst Christian religious leaders dither about prostrating themselves in front of whatever "progressive" pillock will entertain them?
    4
  465.  @royzview6254  There is an unhealthy "what do you expect for free?" undercurrent to all this, isn't there?
    4
  466.  @marcokite  Yes! or no, depending.
    4
  467.  @Patty2579  Is winning the same as forgone conclusion? Maybe.
    4
  468. There's a "pride" flag stuck outside my local Shell garage. I wonder if it was put there by the decent, hard-working Muslim gentleman who worked within. I'm guessing not.
    4
  469. That packet remains unopened! A small oversight.
    4
  470.  @raphaelalbert8110  In this instance, Hermes are the more fragrant dog turd.
    4
  471.  @SirBorisHayter  I'm guessing he wasn't a tool of his wife, though.
    4
  472. Sir Keir Starmer: "Comrades, just keep the 'crazy' under control until we're in power... Then you can go nuts.".
    4
  473. I'd watch "a forest full of bigotry" for laughs. I would love to see a racist badger, telling grey squirrels to go back to Canada.
    4
  474.  @emu163  As my dad used to say... "They're two cheeks on the same arse".😁
    4
  475. I could draw Rishi Sunak from memory, but it might be a be racist, due to unconscious bias.
    4
  476.  Brittunculi  I can only assume vote rigging was employed, cos I didn't vote Brexit, and neither did my yoga coach.
    4
  477.  @thisisnumber0  he's been on the turn for some time.
    4
  478.  ac McG  yes, he was a thorough and impartial interviewer. however, his own politics were slightly right of centre, which, despite the Tory landslide, is a no no at the BBC, these days.
    4
  479.  Brewster Jeff  ha... I'll give her some booze! I knew it was the answer. 😂
    4
  480. I can only assume a "Muslim with Tourette's" would be, on occasion, antisemitic. I wouldn't agree with him, but it would be fun to watch.
    3
  481.  @ChimpingBulldog  in Sam's case, I'm happy to go with "it"
    3
  482.  @hazelnut975  like a lot of things people want removed, they don't always consider what will fill the void.
    3
  483. @alexnelson9512 😂👍
    3
  484.  @bumblesquatt  No. Pure sarcasm, all the way. Hence the winky face. 👍
    3
  485. 🎶"Have a coke and a smile!"
    3
  486.  @nigeltaylor5253  noice! 😂
    3
  487. You can't just add "phobia" to the end of a word and it's still a word. If that was the case, "logicphobia" would have been a word, years ago.
    3
  488. Previously, we voted for Conservatism and got socialism. It's hardly surprising. then, that we got it when people voted for actual bloody socialists.
    3
  489.  @guygullible2295  I read somewhere you can get it from not paying your TV License.
    3
  490. 😂
    3
  491.  @derp8575  that's a bit too continental.
    3
  492. Am I the only person who wants to help legitimate refugees? Not economic migrants, and the like, but I'm guessing refugees could use a break.
    3
  493. No, he might be Jewish.
    3
  494. @chrisholaful SO, she wasn't hot, after all? 😨
    3
  495. "enunciate" is difficult to spell.
    3
  496.  @johnholmes5674  Probably so.
    3
  497.  @johnbarrett6889  Well, next time you see "Question Time", just imagine Kermit saying "It's the Muppet show, with our special guest... Fiona Bruce, yaaaaaay!" All believable, thanks to diversity. 👍
    3
  498. The woke do enjoy being "tolerant". Ironically, they're the most intolerant bunch of people I've ever met, and they will happily turn on their own friends and family, for briefly straying outside of the ever-changing woke values.
    3
  499.  @markillingworth1929  I'm squandering the earth's precious resources, I know. 😅
    3
  500.  @Gik1618  is that the current government guideline?
    3
  501. I don't believe females suffer from being "ginger"... Who doesn't like a "redhead"? They're never short, either. Just "Petite", which is also how I describe my winky.
    3
  502.  @gearoiddom  All the money I don't spend on food and bills goes on stupid bollocks.
    3
  503. This is what we get when we vote "against" a party. 😳
    3
  504.  @tanseygreen291  Aw. Be nice.
    3
  505. Maybe, just maybe, it'll all work out in our favour. Whichever way it goes, it's a result of democracy.
    3
  506. Sturgeon is a peddler of hate, and the good people north of the border deserve better.
    3
  507.  @gfield1607  correct, but that didn't stop people complaining at those that do not.
    3
  508.  @DarrenHarrison7160  Run away! Run away!
    3
  509.  @simondjangothe4349  not if he was close to an open freezer.
    3
  510. I don't understand why he keeps getting elected 🤔
    3
  511. If the business model that is Wilco's no longer works, then retail really is f-cked.
    3
  512. The curve must be flatter than a witches tit, now, surely?
    3
  513.  @thesnoopmeistersnoops5167  👍🏻 especially, as the "blanket" is just more pig. 😂
    3
  514. I reckon it's gonna break the toilet.
    3
  515.  @janecrossman6979  I bet your never gave it a second thought. It's how it should be.
    3
  516.  @raypurchase801  Ray. Bloody. Purchase.
    3
  517. The council recently changed their recycling demands. It resulted in over 20% of bins not being emptied and made the national news. It could happen anywhere.
    3
  518. My brother, a helicopter engineer, hasn't worked in the UK since 1997. He lives in Dubai, where he, as a fat, ginger, Steve-Davis-looking old fart is actually exotic. So, he's "making bank" and "pulling the birds". I hope he gets a melanoma, the smug git.
    3
  519.  @MrWeAllAreOne  unlike employment and a sturdy economy.
    3
  520.  The Deleter  I'm not slating Christian values, I just can't stand certain family members, and a lockdown isn't without an occasional silver lining. I know Islam has an expansionist policy, and I'm as against that as the next man.
    3
  521.  Johnny Wrotten  I do not like woke Government, I do not like it in a tent, I'm sick-and-tired of PC farce, the government can kiss my arse. (in other words, yes, I was joking).
    3
  522. A work colleague complained about a "fascist" yesterday. I asked him to define "fascist", and he could not. Personally, I would not insult or label someone with words of which I do not know the meaning. He is a libtard. I know what the word "libtard" means.
    3
  523.  @cockoffgewgle4993  Shock news... Tories mishandle the NHS. Every developed nation needs a nation health service. I'm saying ours has been mishandled to the point of being unfit for purpose.
    3
  524. Keith is very educational. For example, I thought the collective noun for c*nts was "bunch". Turns out, it's "pack". As long as we remember what a "pack" of authoritarian c*nts the Australian government are, it's all good.
    3
  525.  @peterchurch2412  I thought my comment was sarcastic enough without the need for an emoticon.
    3
  526. He didn't deride The Daily Mail? That's a box he forgot to tick. Watch out those that seek to cancel. What goes around...
    3
  527. How else will Boris pay for his Child maintenance bill? I used to think that's where my excessive tax was going. Still, never mind Lord Snooty... I'm quite fond of Lord Snooty. He might not be a man of the people. He might not even be a man FOR the people, but at least we can have a laugh.
    3
  528.  @memyself1566  I thought sexual assault, must have mis-remembered.
    3
  529.  @raypurchase801  Ray. Bloody. Purchase!!!
    3
  530.  @lesliehall7683  Perhaps she wanted you to experience their authentic, artisanal Pedigree Chum. 🍲🍲
    3
  531. Does this mean Scotland are now better than Germany?
    3
  532.  Paul Alexander  Well, that pissed on my bonfire.
    3
  533. Remember when racists were, at the very least, racist? Ah, those were the good, old days. Nowadays, if you haven't read this week's Marxist pamphlet from NonceChester University, you're Oswald sodding Mosely.
    3
  534. I've never seen a ginger man with such dark eyes. Andrew is a walking contradiction.
    3
  535. Thank god the Lockdown is easing, MacDonald's has re-opened, and most of these delusional, wannabe anarchists are back to flipping burgers.
    3
  536. Whether climate change is real or not doesn't excuse the draconian measures and huge tax burden of those in charge. It's all stick, and no carrot.
    3
  537. You're right, it does not prevent spreading of the virus, however, given the current data (rather than the full majesty of someone's "reckon"), it will stop you from having symptoms.
    3
  538.  @davidbarlow350  That doesn't agree with the information given from the pharmaceutical companies. I'm not saying it's incorrect, but on what is your comment based?
    3
  539.  @Bessskar  my butt is much hurt.
    3
  540.  @chrisl9620  I'd leave the cat to self quarantine.
    3
  541.  @zibbezabba2491  Yes, there are double standards, but think of it this way... If we don't hold politicians to account for their morality, maybe we'll judge them by their performance, instead. Not Matt Hancock. He's a twat.
    3
  542.  @lookandlisten5740  the bigger the woman, the tighter the legging! 👍😉
    3
  543. Burglars... Remember, Black Lives Matter, but white people have the best stuff.
    3
  544.  @vordman  I remember Sharon Davis warning about this nonsense several years ago.
    3
  545. I have a Daily Mail commemorative plate which features a beautifully detailed picture of Diana, the People's Princess, wrapped around the tyre of a Renault Clio, with the motto... "No Longer a Burden to the British Taxpayer", in Latin. I've always been a bit of a royalist.
    3
  546.  @flareycanary3300  I understand the sentiment behind it, but it's just not the British way.
    3
  547. I love the Queen, but are they now doing a "Weekend at Bernie's"? Look for strings, people 😁😁
    3
  548.  @douglas_gemini  correct. Stewie made that erroneous comment to point out how ridiculous it all is.
    2
  549.  @geoffdundee  there ya go. BLM have mastered racial integration.
    2
  550. Whinge and Ginge.
    2
  551. I would call him "Fanta pubes", but that would be childish.
    2
  552.  @plazid1  His wings have been clipped. He's scared to fart in the wrong key, these days. It's an odd program. There's a couple of middle class women, a hairy Scot, and someone from, or at least close to, "the 'hood"... All pretending they're best mates.
    2
  553. I'm a fat b@stard, and I approve of this message. Why should I pay for my poor lifestyle choices when everyone else can? 🤣 Anyway, I'm not fat, I'm "morbidly jolly".
    2
  554.  @Peterthepainter66  Indeed. But, we have to celebrate the little victories in common sense. There's precious little else to be optimistic about, these days.
    2
  555. What does Andrew Lawrence know about Twitter mobs? Not a lot, I'm guessing. I think he should "stay in his lane". Whatever that means.
    2
  556.  @markb3915  only a nonce should say such a thing. 🤔
    2
  557. Surely, the BBC's diversity chief is happy all Phil's friends were white, and probably eating fish n chips? 🤣
    2
  558. That poor, ginger bastard. What ever happened to Major James-Hewitt?
    2
  559.  @guygullible2295  This ain't popular opinion, but I quite like the idea of a publicly owned broadcaster... We need a reliable news source, more than ever. Just not the BBC.
    2
  560.  @guygullible2295  My idea was the BBC twenty years ago.
    2
  561.  catfishale asad  My apologies. The Guardian are well known for being huge fans of the royal family, and I'm sure their reporting of the complaints to the BBC was done with nothing but solemn regret.
    2
  562.  catfishale asad  I'm suggesting The Guardian is not a fan of the Royal Family. If you want, I'll prefix my original comment with "in my opinion". 🙄
    2
  563. No western leader becomes destitute after leaving office, whether they deserve to, or not. ☹
    2
  564. This film is a high-concept and diverse piece of cinema, which bravely tackles a difficult subject in a nuanced manner. Also, I nearly pulled my cöck off.
    2
  565. This will go on the pile of streaming turds which I will not watch, along with any show which "gets really good after season three, mate". 🤔
    2
  566.  @pinklady3885  A firm handshake and a fine "How do you do" is more than good enough for the likes of me. 🤣
    2
  567. Can we have a whip round and get Andrew a pop shield?
    2
  568.  @andrewdaley3081 Thanks! I'm a big fan of Andrew Lawrence's humour. I've seen him a couple of times.
    2
  569.  Ian Pemberton  Then I shall continue to embrace my burgeoning agoraphobia.😳
    2
  570.  @chelseapoet3664  is she free to run the free world?
    2
  571. A few years ago, we saw him as the harmless shagger and the butt of a few saucy jokes. The jokes are a bit too dark,now.😕
    2
  572.  @denniswaites5593  Hey, I wasn't calling Putin a "bear". (although I've heard the rumours). 😂
    2
  573.  @slapperdinky  it's everywhere... Rosa Parks was in Dr Who, and that's not what Dr Who is about. I didn't see a Dalek in twelve years a slave, and I wouldn't want to.
    2
  574.  @Tillyandmaisie  she seems to have a complete fringe, but everything else shaved. Maybe she also had a stroke and needed a drain. Who knows?
    2
  575.  @davidchester429  I did watch that on Bill Maher. 😅I believe women more likely to be bi, so more likely to be pressured into being gay, whereas men are more hard-wired. e.g. Julian Clary never went trawling for minge.
    2
  576.  @sarahhale-pearson533  I feel sorry for any genuine lesbians that end up with those who claim to be "bi". It will be very frustrating for them.
    2
  577. I haven't left the house since the first lockdown... Thanks for being my agoraphobia enabler, Boris! 👍
    2
  578. She had literally no choice. Good riddance. Bankers are not moral arbiters, they're only a benchmark for scumbags.
    2
  579.  @angrydragon4574  The recent "celebrations" do make me wonder what on earth the UK has let itself in for. The old testament is full of fire and brimstone, but, I don't see the local vicar beheading anyone. (he wears what looks like a dress, so no one would take him seriously, if he did)
    2
  580. There may have been slurs... I'm guessing banter between privates gets a little un-PC. Some of them even carry guns... that's offensive to the shot community.
    2
  581. Oh well. It was a great way to see boobs in 1982. 🤣
    2
  582. Boom-tish!
    2
  583.  @chasevans7171  "Baaaa! Phwaaaa! Naughty Boris!".
    2
  584. I've heard one-or-two of the Scottish Heroin vans have also been illicitly trading Mr Whippy. The sooner PC Pisspot's colleagues crack down on this, the better.
    2
  585. I would identify as a dog if I could lick my own bollocks, and was socially accepted whist doing so.
    2
  586. Inflation and tax are two forms of legalised theft.
    2
  587. If the democrats wanted to keep in office, perhaps they shouldn't have pretended Biden was still the man for the job for well over a year. It was an embarrassment and cost them an election.
    2
  588. Boris wasn't a man OF the people, and he wasn't a man FOR the people. He was essentially a joke, who, through a uniquely bizarre set of opportunities, ended up running the country.🙄
    2
  589. ​ @Steveuploads ​ Hey! You're Chucky!
    2
  590. ​ @raypurchase801  I've already told you once.
    2
  591.  Alan Mawson  he has a wife, you know...
    2
  592.  Steve Terry  yes I did.
    2
  593.  @imwithstupid00011  They're nothing if not predictable.
    2
  594.  @Onthepissmylord  foreign languages are difficult. Ignoring gangs of peados is easy.
    2
  595. That was terrible.
    2
  596. I get a Borat-style "Kazakhstan eez a very nice place, No. 1 producer of pubis" vibe from this news.
    2
  597.  Chris Perdue  shame Epstein committed involuntary suicide... Guess we'll never know.
    2
  598.  @andrewmartin6445  I recently learnt the correct response someone not getting joke is "Woosh!".
    2
  599.  @cockoffgewgle4993  jolly good.
    2
  600. I know there's words that are offensive, and there's some of them, even I find offensive, but the goalposts change all the time, and everyone is expected to keep up with a small minority of guilty white people on Twitter, who think it's their job to make the rules.
    2
  601.  @leondight8162  I don't think that's how they spell it on their menu. 😂
    2
  602. Trump, for once, is breaking his back trying to resolve this conflict. For those that criticise him, how do you want the war to end? If it continues "as is", the West will be bankrupt followed by nothing but death.
    2
  603. He's a born leader of men.
    2
  604.  @Olivia-io9sb  It's like Woke-Inception! 🤣
    2
  605.  @stupidhandles  if you talk to my Mrs... Yes.
    2
  606.  @ParaBellum2024  he who shouts loudest is no way of prioritising. However, given that's how things are done these days.... Who are we to argue?
    2
  607.  @Nickle314  That would thwart the most stubborn trafficker. 👍
    2
  608. Britain is a brand, now. Nothing more than a global hub to receive undocumented and potentially lethal immigrants. No one will fight for that, and as far as the government goes, let me quote someone more colourful than I... "You get what you f-kin deserve."
    2
  609.  The Deleter  yeah, and whilst we're at it... Allahu Ackbar!
    2
  610.  The Deleter  ya know, Andrew Lawrence is a comedian, and some of us like to post a few comedic messages on his videos. You're far too serious for my throwaway comments, and if you really had a Christian values, you'd know how important it is not to judge others.
    2
  611. To be fair to the Mayor of Brussels, Andrew's dog does look like it holds unpleasant views on the LGBT+ community.
    2
  612. Isn't this the logical conclusion of holier-than-thou, judgemental idiots who see racism everywhere? 😁
    2
  613. Have these comedians ever heard of hyperbole? (Actually, I'm guessing in John Bishop's case, that is literally the case).
    2
  614.  @TEMPLAR969  Gaza is currently in the middle of a conflict and not suitable for a night out.
    2
  615. The BBC have told us on many occasions it's a "religion of peace". I don't see what the problem is. Those unpleasant and intimidating displays were, if nothing else, peaceful, weren't they?
    2
  616. Starmer has accomplished one thing... He has convinced the "looney left" to keep their repellent mouths shut just long enough for labour to win the next election. I wonder what they'll do when they're in power 🤔 No doubt sensible policies which help the majority of Britain, and not just pander to those who shout loudest on Twitter. Or X. Or is it "eggs"? Does Elon Must like eggs? Can you tell I'm trying to avoid doing my job?
    2
  617.  @antrog1895  🤣 it'd be a shame not to!
    2
  618. "Dear Rosie Jones... I thought comedy was all about timing. Can you write your 'jokes' down, and we'll laugh, later?".
    2
  619.  @gedofgont1006  😂
    2
  620.  @peterchurch2412  triable?
    2
  621.  @Jo-wl5fj  I'm referring to our independence rather than the comedy of errors that was Brexit.
    2
  622.  @marktaurus206  I've been to London a few times over the years. The locals seemed miserable then, and the multicultural locals seem miserable, now.
    2
  623. In America you can sell your sperm, and make money hand-over-fist! 👍
    2
  624.  @akanonymoss  Well, now, I'm hungry, and eggs are the order of the day! Thank you. 👍
    2
  625. So, whomever becomes POTUS this year, will be less coherent than Putin. Great.
    2
  626. I bet it's hot in "Faliraki" at this time of year. Not as hot as an upturned, burning police car, mind. 😉
    2
  627. I think Spotify must be "racist", like anyone who finds her a delusional, no-talent opportunist. How she copes, I'll never know, when she sees racism everywhere she goes... daft cow. 😂😂😂😂
    2
  628. My comment keeps being deleted. All I said was China was using both biological and economic methods to bring this country to it's knees. It's hardly controversial rhetoric, at this point. After all, out-and-out warfare is "so last century".
    2
  629. What's worse than a diversity quota where employing white people is viewed with suspicion? It's a diversity quota created in a country whose natives are almost entirely white.
    2
  630.  @hellok7877  and I'm not the one to dispel any confusion. 😂
    2
  631.  @nw5835  If it keeps you away from the M25, then I'm all for it. 👍
    2
  632. Mr Kuntabout is very well-informed for a cockney twat.
    2
  633. The theatre needs hand outs, if only to combat the rampant homophobia found within the performing arts.
    2
  634. Perhaps if the local Jewish community make a few credible death threats, or stage an angry fireworks display in the middle of Oxford Street, the police will be scared into being their ally, too. Sorry, I meant the police will support their struggle.
    2
  635. @Ribb Rotgut Agreed. Who'd want to obsess about identity politics if they didn't have to?
    2
  636. They'll be after "Harry Potter and the Unconvincing Tr-a-nnie, Who's Not a Real Woman", next. For no doubt, unfathomable reasons.
    2
  637. Those that complain about a "lack of diversity" are not cinema goers. They are TikTok and Instagram junkies. Leave them to wallow in their crapulence. They are not the "modern audience" for which cinema is so brutally "adapted".
    2
  638. There doesn't seem to be the rioting that the media were trying to encourage. Maybe people in the UK have the sense of nuance and justice that is sadly missing in the US.
    2
  639. Anyone claiming to be an "Impartiality expert" is almost certainly the trendiest lefty out there.
    2
  640. By pure coincidence, I heard "Häägen Dääs" is Swedish for "unregulated immigration".
    2
  641. Graham Linehan can't take a shit without being cancelled for straining too hard. Balls to cancel culture and the entitled twunts that think they can ruin the lives of others for contradicting their nonsense beliefs.
    2
  642. Biologically, a woman is the one who asks for the bins to be taken out.
    2
  643. 🎶Happy talking, talking, Happy talk. (doo-doo-doo-da-doo)
    2
  644.  @pollyparrot8759  Yes, I completely agree, his conduct has been consistently abhorrent, however, if his family don't forgive him, who will?
    2
  645. I genuinely can't spell his name without looking it up.
    2
  646. My message to the Greta-loving Extinction Rebellion is this... If you get all your opinions from an autistic toddler, no one will take you seriously.
    2
  647.  @paulcarmichael2368  Either way, I ain't your bitch, pal.
    2
  648.  @chrisl9620  she was a skinny whippet. That is not representative of Northern women. Northern women are substantial, and great fun.
    2
  649. Lockdown. The other day I thought about sticking a finger up my dog's arse. It's time to go out.
    2
  650. Is there anyone who's not thinking "that poor b@stard"?
    2
  651.  @jamescherry2082  say what you want, Fritzel was a bloody good builder!
    2
  652.  @Johnshaw111  The problem with conspiracy theories, is they usually need someone at the top pulling the strings, which means that someone is competent. There's no one competent running the show right now.
    2
  653.  @pinkdiamond1847 ... Unless the memories are so bad they need to be repressed! 😳
    2
  654. Full board and rent free? Prison is not the punishment it once was.
    2
  655. Do you think Starmer's advisor is a secret Tory? It's the only explanation of his dogsh-t decisions... A conservative trying to destroy any remaining credibility.😅😅
    2
  656.  @kimvibk9242  I've seen Andrew live, and some of his monologues are as long as they are amusing... That dog may become an insomniac.
    2
  657. Andrew's sarcasm has brought the pandemic into focus, and now I feel sad. 🙁
    2
  658. Was Andrew's description of America taken directly from it's constitution? 🤣
    2
  659. I saw the Scottish comedian ten years ago, back when he was funny. However, he was disengaged from the audience and looked bored. 😴 There was no encore. I know someone's outlook can change, but that doesn't give them a license to look down their nose at their peers, just cos they're not on the same woke payroll as him. Prick. I'm pleased the BBC keep F.B.'s nuts in their gender neutral handbag, he no longer has any use for them.
    1
  660. Milk chocolate is the biscuit of choice for the more discerning fat bastard. I'm so fat, I can no longer see my nob, so I use a system of braille. 👍
    1
  661.  @michaelwilkinson5652  😁😁
    1
  662.  @hellok7877  I love that guy! His Bill Maher is perfect.
    1
  663. ...and their outfits, like the royal family, are "terribly white". 😂
    1
  664. He's the master of grim parody, and there's a lot to parody, atm.
    1
  665.  @CAL-zq3dk  You cared enough to click on the video.
    1
  666. If you look at the hospitalisation and death rates, it shows the vaccine is working. We've made our choice... let's run with.
    1
  667. What a balanced, and industrious young man. I only hope he gets the special treatment in prison he deserves. 😉
    1
  668.  @MrSlaphead1960  What a lavvly day!!!
    1
  669. Why should Prince Harry get free police protection? It’s not given to other ginger twats. They have to take their chances, so should he.
    1
  670. I’m sure the new Dr was cast on the basis of talent and suitability. Also, the Rona came from a bat, Epstein killed himself, and Hunter Biden’s laptop is of no concern to us.
    1
  671. I think "Fringe" should now be dropped, 'cos they ain't on the fringe of anything. They're "the man"... And the Man ruined the ozone, and he's burning down the Amazon, and he kidnapped Shamu and put her in a chlorine tank! (c) 2003 School of Rock
    1
  672.  @yannickbanks0  It's definitely an equal opportunities employer 😁
    1
  673. At the BBC, we're all about inclusion... No, not you, whitey!
    1
  674. Of course Johnny is a Guardian reader!You know everything there is to know about the Mr Smugface just from from the newspaper he reads. Plus, it really makes you hate him. 😂
    1
  675. Perhaps pandering to girls, and referring to them as future leaders, princesses and the saviour of humanity, only for the cold reality of adulthood proving they're just another "brick in the wall" is also misguided. They will be ill-equipped to deal with this.
    1
  676. Call this a review? Andrew didn't even award any stars. Personally, I'd give it five stars... F***ing Sh**t.
    1
  677.  @robertstanley1857  I'm sure that's the case, but the risks are widely documented, people are as informed they want to be and the government cannot regulate "stupid".
    1
  678.  @pauldurkee4764  Believe me, it's the least fun drug I've ever taken, but I can't argue with results 😉
    1
  679.  @TomTomicMic  I understand the argument, but where would that end? Shouldn't do dangerous sports, because of the risks? You brought obesity on yourself, so no healthcare for you? I'm not arguing that drugs are a good thing; I'm just saying we have enough government interference. "abuse yourself" is a vague and arbitrary term.
    1
  680. Who hasn’t shit their pants in front of the pope?
    1
  681. Before Elon, Twitter's was censored by the FBI. We now know this as a fact, thanks to the billionaire that looked under that particular rock. Elon is a defender of free speech, and good luck to him!!!
    1
  682. I wonder what polonium tastes like.
    1
  683.  @Pwwh0711  what a frightening thought.
    1
  684. So, after the BLM riots, was there more or less racial tension?
    1
  685.  @markb3915  😂
    1
  686.  @sirbarnabyst.johntoffingto9017  is he a defender for Man Utd?
    1
  687. I hope these aliens are aware of ULEZ charges. It's one thing "probing" halfwits, it's another showing flagrant disregard for this planet's delicate eco system.
    1
  688.  @davidmclachlan6592  I went to the cinema with a friend. I believe we were the only natives watching John Wick 4.
    1
  689. Those prisoners who sold "Class A drugs to crackheads" shouldn't be in prison in the first place. Rather, drug laws should be rescinded so these reprobates couldn't take advantage of Draconian drug laws and the users who flout them.
    1
  690. The Cochrane Library contains two separate reports on mask efficacy generated in '20 and '22. They suggest that even N95 masks offer little-to-no reduction in contagion. This too was dismissed. We live in a society whose governments no longer care if their deception is discovered.
    1
  691.  @dannywestwood4113  that's a salient, if depressing point.
    1
  692. I don't know why Andrew is trying to defend Clarkson. I mean, it's not like it's happened to him. After all, cancel culture isn't real. Oh, hang on....
    1
  693. ​ @stevensarson482  It's Putin's troll farms that created the divisions to which you refer. For example, I believe the insult "Karen" came from a one. Lots of far-right and far-left fake social media accounts are spewing out crap that is poisoning society and enabling Putin to take advantage of our weak, divided western civilisation. (that's according to a radio 4 documentary).
    1
  694.  catfishale asad  Figurative, sneering woke hands, yes, and they now have deposits of glee.
    1
  695.  catfishale asad  I'll post what I like and expect you to do the same.
    1
  696. I feel sorry for the over-privileged, ginger prick. Not a sentence I ever thought I'd put together.
    1
  697. Russell Brand was, by his own admission, an extremely promiscuous man. If, say, "girl 3,597 out of 6,000" suggests a lack of consent from over a decade ago, there's not going to be a credible trial.
    1
  698. Most people who have a healthy-level of self-awareness also have self-doubt. Not your average psycho.
    1
  699.  Ian Pemberton  How do you go in shops?
    1
  700.  Ian Pemberton  I would agree with most of that, although a mask does stop me picking my nose in public, so it's not completely useless. We've all seen people in cars wearing a mask. Twats.
    1
  701.  @alanduncan9204  😂 I misheard my daughter, who said one of the players was "subbed off", last night. Personally, I'd feel a bit sleepy and not in the mood for football, after that.
    1
  702.  @OBWanKenobi  I don't use Twitter. It's for aersholes.
    1
  703.  @chelseapoet3664  I don't doubt it for a minute 🙁
    1
  704.  @NorthernMouse53  Bum-tish!!! 🥁 👍
    1
  705. Who does the Labour Party represent, these days? It's no longer the working class, who have a very different set of priorities to the knee-taking, identity-obsessed middle class twats that are Labour.
    1
  706. Most fat people are well aware of what makes them fat, but old habits die hard. Ozempic is still cheaper than bariatric surgery. Yes, I am currently taking it. I pay for it privately. It's made a huge difference. Pardon the pun
    1
  707. Sergeant Pisspot does not represent your average copper. He's a miserable, humourless git, who gets off on pushing people around. Oh, hang on...
    1
  708. What gets me is the feeling that there's something they're not telling us. Something behind all this that stops them from addressing the illegal migrants rather than just housing them.
    1
  709. I have to say, when I go down the pub, the more drunk I get, the more I social distance... It's just common sense.
    1
  710. What a load of old cobblers... Reeves has never been anywhere near Skegness.
    1
  711.  @memyself1566  Maybe the cold, unapproachable ice maiden is what some people like.
    1
  712. I don't know if anyone has been to A&E in the past forty years, but the NHS is intrinsically diverse. Unless these non-jobs are trying to recruit ethnic minorities, SUCH AS WHITE PEOPLE, it's a huge waste of money.
    1
  713.  @jayseabie215  it's a real expression for pron from the victorian era.
    1
  714. My sister-in-law is Chinese. She's a good egg, but does smell of onion. I'm not sure how relevant this is, but I thought I'd contribute.
    1
  715.  @slapperdinky  that should be the whitest programme that ever existed. 😂😂
    1
  716. Tony Blair: "Tosser". 😂 (I'd say "Tosser" and "War Criminal").
    1
  717. Johnny Smugface is the voice of reason... The total humiliation of face-nappies, which are proven to be only partially effective at best and curb children's communication development are the only way forward. It's not like we went into several lockdowns whilst using them.
    1
  718. I don't understand Twitter. It seems to be just a bunch of purple-haired pillocks spouting intolerant drivel at a brick wall. My niece is currently at Uni, and is a walking meme for such wankery. Purple hair, "bi", and a pride badge. The likes of Bill Gates is more than welcome to her virtue-signalling, bullshit data.
    1
  719.  @jamesdellaneve9005  Come to think of it, there's a right handsome lad who works down the mine... He takes it up the wrong 'un. (that was broadcast on the BBC in the 2000's. How times have changed).
    1
  720.  @PhilBarrett789  I believe the phrase predates even the gagmeister himself.
    1
  721. We really are wonderfully bonkers in the UK.
    1
  722. Andrew, can you stop with the happiness videos? They're really depressing 🤣
    1
  723. I don't know about anyone else, but I always look to police officers for progressive opinions. 😂 BTW... "Have HIM arrested"? PC Pisspott means have THEM arrested. 😒
    1
  724. Did "Controlling C*nt Keir" really brag about free speech? That's like Abu Hamza bragging about tolerance and inclusion. 😉
    1
  725. I'm sure if I was in prison for more than an hour, I'd quickly consider Andrew Tate to be my bottom bitch. Happy incarceration, Mr T, freedom is only for grown-ups to enjoy.
    1
  726.  @DavidEdwards-uf5lg  Hey, they practise diversity and inclusion, so in a way, they ARE winners. In a more realistic way, they're disappointing losers. 🤣
    1
  727. If you don't vote for Rishi, you're a ra-cist.... I'm surprised the Tories didn't run with that 😂
    1
  728.  @peterchurch2412  oh well, can't blame the Chinese for that one 😂
    1
  729. The more universities push their race narrative, the more out-of-touch they appear to anyone outside of academia. Remember when universities would promote racial tolerance, not just thought intolerance.
    1
  730. @johnnytheprick I'm always editing my posts. Thanks for noticing.
    1
  731.  @vickywilliams8320  ...but it identifies as a mole.
    1
  732. We're a long way away from Julian Clary "fisting" Norman Lamont.
    1
  733. "...whilst our rainbow-flag-wearing, non-binary police forces stand on the side lines, adjusting their butt plugs" is now forever etched into my brain. I hope those plugs are black, with a white check at one end. Uniform standards are important.
    1
  734. Being run by China would be a huge improvement. For a start, they would be honest about our complete lack of civil liberties rather than us being gaslit by our current set of virtue-signalling opportunists. Also, The Ch-nese "C-mmunist" Party are known for being competent, rather than just awful. That's an upgrade on "useless". This message has be taken down. Twice. Dunno why. 🤔
    1
  735.  @jjefferyworboys8138  what stupid bollocks do you have?
    1
  736. I will repeat what I say after all of Andrew's videos... "Still, things could be worse". It's starting to sound more and more sarcastic.
    1
  737. Excellent "Upspeak". Everything is upspeak? you know what I mean? I'm trans? Every sentence requires validation? Yes? etc?
    1
  738. Even ignoring Sir Keir's comparisons, here, I'm sure there are many members of the Labour party that welcome sausages on a regular basis. 👍 Oh, and also co-ck.
    1
  739.  @splaffyduck5787  I didn't agree with the argument, but I believe it to be well put. Nothing more than that.
    1
  740.  @splaffyduck5787  It's a controversial view and yes, there are contradictions, but he did put up an argument. He's a comedian with dark thought process, so I do take things with a little pinch of salt.
    1
  741. Come on, it was going to happen... Have you seen Jimmy's latest Netflix special? I believe he's too big to cancel, and the bullies can only cancel smaller, emerging comedians. ("punching up", my arse)
    1
  742.  @charliegirl3056  and geographically, we are. We just don't belong to the "EU" which was meant to be a trading block. I love the wonderful people of Europe. Not the French, obviously. 😁
    1
  743. You will sit on your own, staring at a Fray Bentos Turkey pie and drinking a can of Lidl-brau and you will be grateful… Don’t forget the mask, as your pet dog may become infected.
    1
  744. I never thought I'd say this, but maybe independence is the best thing for Scotland.
    1
  745. Well, now I’m depressed.
    1
  746. There's been a lot of negative press about the police, recently, but all they're actually guilty of is murder and extreme brutality. A sense of perspective, people, please, after all, who else will police mean people on Twitter?
    1
  747. I can only assume most Tory backbenchers spent a lot of time ‘fagging for the sixformers”, and are not impressed with a ladies exposed limb.
    1
  748. Is the word "wigger" racist, now?🤔
    1
  749.  cosmic moth  then, like a man in orthopaedic shoes, I stand corrected. Although, I was referring to, for example, Italy's plea for medical gear which fell on deaf ears.
    1
  750.  Alan Mawson ... Or Biggus Dickus.
    1
  751.  @tensevo  I like the black ones!
    1
  752.  @lakegirl239  in which case, democracy will lose all credibility and I agree. We're 🪛
    1
  753. I think I speak for all of us when I say I also regret shitting in my suit pants.
    1
  754. Being trans is a great way to go from "mediocre" to "gold".
    1
  755. Snitches get stitches.
    1
  756. I'm sure it'll be several thirty minute episodes of pure, dirty filth. I'll text all my mates on Grind-r to give them the heads-up 👍
    1
  757. All these eco twats need to do is perpetuate the rumours of petrol shortages. There's plenty of panicking Peters who can turn driving into a less-viable mode of transport.
    1
  758.  @xxx.118  I have some shocking news for you about soylent green.
    1
  759. As a fat, bald 51-year-old prick, I also have never faced discrimination. My advice, whatever your race or gender. Be attractive, and your experience of discrimination will be slight at most.
    1
  760.  @andrewdaley3081  I tried. 🤣
    1
  761. Well, now I'm depressed.
    1
  762.  @Onthepissmylord  I'm sure they'd be as shocked as the rest of us. Priorities are all over the place, these days.
    1
  763. Of course the Tories were dogshit. That's why people begrudgingly voted for the slightly more fragrant dog turd that was Labour. Turns out, that turd was also full of maggots.😂
    1
  764.  @stephfoxwell4620  Spare me your medical mumbo-jumbo!!!
    1
  765. What kind of marrow, Mr Shithouse?
    1
  766. In New Zealand, they don't even install central heating in some properties... Just in case you were wondering why New Zealand is populated by smug pricks and indigenous psychopaths
    1
  767.  @bagoshite7073  it's certainly given the NHS an excuse to drop the ball. My daughter's dealing with them confirms this.
    1
  768.  @cockoffgewgle4993  what should I use?
    1
  769.  @cockoffgewgle4993  but it's a specific racial minority. I'm not pretending to be naive for the sake of argument, I'm genuinely clueless to this sort of thing.
    1
  770.  @dcarbs2979  Now you're going back! 😂
    1
  771. Not a popular opinion, but... in most industries mandatory vaccination is abhorrent, however, in this instance I believe the patients of the NHS have the right to be treated in the safest environment possible.
    1
  772.  @patthewoodboy  I don't believe these are equivalent opposites. Patients with disease may require hospitalisation, whereas a hospital does not need unvaccinated workers to function. In any other industry, I would agree this measure is draconian, but not in health and the care sector.
    1
  773.  @floydisnutz8443  This is a situation where the rights of the unvaccinated clash with the rights of the potentially vulnerable patient, and in this instance, the patient's rights are a priority.
    1
  774.  @rcfokker1630  I was using the terminology of previous poster. Ok, if you’re gravely ill, I’m guessing you would want to be cared for by someone who is less likely to be infectious.
    1
  775.  @floydisnutz8443  good point about testing, although I suspect vaccination is more reliable than testing alone, however, sometimes the rights of individuals do clash.
    1
  776.  @martinwebb1681  Several studies have found the vaccinated to be less contagious than the unvaccinated.
    1
  777.  @floydisnutz8443  You made your point and I've made mine.
    1
  778. ​ @Ben_3113  I'm usually the first to say "thin end of the wedge", and mention a frog in various states of water, but in this instance, there are reasons for an exemption which I've already explained.
    1
  779.  @92diversion  ... for a scooter.
    1
  780. I don't want vaccine mandates, but on the other hand, I don't want anti-vaxxers spreading their Facebook bullshit, either. On an unrelated note, surely the gender reassignment medication would give Andrew bigger tits than that.
    1
  781. So, this guy put his career at risk for a box of donuts? What a twat.
    1
  782. What have we let ourselves in for? Do you remember being asked if you'd like to welcome terrorists to our shores? I do not. Aren't there hard-working immigrants who don't wish a painful death to perfectly decent people we could have accommodated first?
    1
  783.  @drahcirnevarc9152  Groucho knew he was funny.
    1
  784.  @moleyrusselswart  Might as well, it all ends up in the same Taiwanese skip.
    1
  785. I think you'll find PIERS MORGAN is the biggest human shit ever recorded.
    1
  786. I just wish people understood Christianity a little better, so they could appreciate Abdul's struggle.
    1
  787.  @des_smith7658  I hope you're right.
    1
  788. I spent most of the lockdown watching these.
    1
  789. Norton's time will come. Given his age, he probably has views that don't fly with the purple-haired finger-pointers. He's probably shitting himself.
    1
  790.  @peterlangbridge4628   @peterlangbridge4628  Famously, Hartlepool hanged a monkey on suspicion of being a French spy. I know they casually w-nk off in front of onlookers and throw their poo, and so does a monkey. I would be confused, too.
    1
  791.  @barrybernstein9049  I just hope Hamas haven't dug him up as a makeshift, high value human shield.
    1
  792.  @rapidtranq  I'll never calm down with the drama!!! To me, the YouTube comments section is like EastEnders, except, I'm actually interested in the comments section. It's drama all-the-way, baby! 🥁Duff, duff, duff-duff-duff!!!! 😉
    1
  793. @Orwell 1984 I am a bat fastard. 🦇🦇🦇👍
    1
  794. You realise that Communism hasn't worked, because it hasn't been done properly, yet. It has to be created and controlled by a group of people with no flaws, who are completely incorruptible, and with only altruism in their hearts. Not much of a tall order, is it?
    1
  795. He'd be more of a geezer, if his name wasn't "Keith".
    1
  796. I bet Wayne "The Rapist" Couzens didn't even own a "Pride" riot shield... All the signs were there. 🤣
    1
  797. I can't help but think the NHS is diverse enough as is. Unless these "diversity" hires are making sure suitable British students are being trained as nurses and doctors, instead of fleecing Asian countries and draining their resources. Yes, perhaps that's what they're doing. 🤣
    1
  798. Jib Jub Clack-a-lacker Doo-Dah speaks the truth, as does Barack Pyjama.
    1
  799. Oh well. I try and keep myself cheerful.
    1
  800. The IRA must be feeling pretty good about themselves, now. They figured-out it's better to get funding from America rather than fighting with them.
    1
  801. As long as it's not mandatory, I will still enjoy my pig-bollock slurry encased in processed lard.
    1
  802.  Champagne SOYcialist Keeps Getting Barred  in three minutes, there's a pint of lager for me.
    1
  803.  @faza553  one doesn't have to, if one doesn't want to.
    1
  804. I wonder what Jack's wife thinks of this video?
    1
  805.  @phillipsmiley5930  It's a mystery. We must of had mythical healing powers, back then. We can trust the WHO, after all, they're partly funded by China, and they seem to know what they're doing. 😂
    1
  806. I don't think there's any equivalence between adultery and mass murder. I got drunk and did a poo in my bank's letter box when I was 18, but it doesn't stop my views on the EU from being valid. Anyway, of course Major is an adulterer... He's so sêxy.
    1
  807. Comedy and music? If Andrew could dance like a homosexual, he’d be what’s know as a “triple threat”.
    1
  808. I'm gonna wear a spooky bedsheet with a fake poo. I'll be the ghost of Amber Heard.
    1
  809. Don't worry, we'll provide more vaccine supplies as soon as we stop laughing our tits off. 🤣
    1
  810. I know this is a tangent, but do they still make "Super Noodles"? I mean, it's not fine dining, but I could go for a noodle-or-two.
    1
  811.  @akanonymoss  I'm just about meat n veg, these days, but if I was to have a bit of carb, that would be the good stuff. Thanks.
    1
  812. How can you be this miserable when your dad bought you a nice, new blazer?
    1
  813. I can't but agree. Also, that microphone is massive!
    1
  814. I’ve gotten so fat, I can no longer see my winky. Does that make me “trans”? I’d like to be thought of as “brave”, rather than gluttonous.
    1
  815.  @madcarew5168  I also am trying to see the funny side.
    1
  816.  @peterrhodes5663  she had a fine set of N95s.
    1
  817. I'll file this one under "That's a shame, 'int it?" 😉
    1
  818.  Gloria Denning  Oh well... First female president, then! 🤣
    1
  819. I feel sorry for the old fella on the left. This identity politics BS is at least one generation beneath him, both literally and figuratively.
    1
  820. I miss the giraffe.
    1
  821. Other than that... Things are fine. 👍
    1
  822. I would not wish to be a copper moving to Australia, given their draconian anti-freedom laws. They'd be much better off staying here in The UK, where they can simply harass/bully pensioners who retweet spicy jokes about the trans "community", before sending them to a re-education facility.
    1
  823. Am I the only one who feels sorry for the police, who have to enforce all this BS? No one signed-up for this mismanaged shitefest.
    1
  824.  @andrewdaley5375  It would seem so. I've got coppers in my family, and I can't help but feel sorry for the poor sods. They honestly don't want to be government goons. Having said that, the one's policing "Hate speech" on Twitter can kiss the fattest part of my arse.
    1
  825. I'm starting to find the burka a bit of a turn on. You never know what you're gonna get. It's the sex version of a packet of Revels.
    1
  826. 🎶 Lockdown is coming, and I am getting fat, please don't let me miss my folks cos Boris is a twat.
    1
  827.  Paul Alexander  I love their meat and so does the Mrs!
    1
  828. It is amusing that the left supports open borders which will almost certainly attract migrants with polar opposite views to them. Did I say amusing? I meant frustrating and the potential downfall of western culture.
    1
  829.  petercrane2560  being a full time mum will be promoted by the masses as house wives don't pay taxes.
    1
  830.  @paulineashcroft1485  I'll weally twy!
    1
  831. Rape = "skirting around the law, a little bit." 🤣 Murder = "Being a bit naughty."
    1
  832. I remember The Guardian writing an "Open Letter" to the Queen a few years ago, saying the monarchy should end after her passing. "Open letters" are for cowards who pretend to talk to someone, whilst just complaining to anyone else who'll listen. They seem to have lost their bottle upon the Queen's actual passing, but their Marxist viewpoint will rear it's ugly, progressive head soon enough.
    1
  833.  @d1btd3265  Probably.
    1
  834.  @BrendanSutton-l3d  Yeah, the NHS have for more important things to do than heal the sick. I'm not exactly sure what that is, but according to my payslip, it's expensive.
    1
  835. I'm not saying Andrew's wrong on this one, but given his almost-alarming pallor, perhaps he should sit this one out. It is quite warm, after all. I am sitting in ball soup, and have been for an hour.
    1
  836.  Lindsay Bradley  there's parallels to be drawn.
    1
  837. @maccagrabme  sarcasm, I mean.
    1
  838. There are some things the BBC does really well. Documentaries, radio, news (when not running their ever-present woke narrative). We'll lose all that first and be left with unwatchable identity politics and box-ticking exercises.
    1
  839.  @bods1  Well, now you said that, I will. Thanks for your insight... The scales have been removed from my eyes.
    1
  840. The next colleague that tells me "Um... St George was from Turkey, actually" I'm telling them the "dragon" was from Milton Keynes.
    1
  841. I really don't think Chris Rock realised she had alopecia. I think he probably knows, now.
    1
  842.  @odyssey-_-23  (who's to say) 😉
    1
  843.  @davidbarlow350  Specifically, what research. MSM is telling us one thing, you're saying something else. What is your source?
    1
  844.  @davidbarlow350  finally, a source!
    1
  845.  @davidbarlow350  I checked this video... https://youtu.be/mk1EY8T6tMg It's top of your search criteria, it's about the new method of creating vaccines, and doesn't mention efficacy.
    1
  846.  @fannyschmeler223  It's difficult to know what source to trust... Especially the "mostly peaceful" BBC, but when it comes to a pandemic, if you're gonna wade in with an opinion that's potentially irresponsible, you'd better have your sources in place. You have. Well done, but others do not.
    1
  847.  @SuperDeadlen  No, you're false. 👍😂
    1
  848.  @SuperDeadlen  Thanks. Will do. 👍
    1
  849. Ya know, if you don't go on twitter, all this goes away, apart from a few misguided twats on the news. So, stop watching the news... Fiona Bruce isn't even worth a shag, anymore.
    1
  850. Honestly, the powers-that-be would rather us starve than contradict the current environmental narrative.
    1
  851. Certainly gingers deserve better than names such as "Fanta bollocks". Taking a step back, it's technically no different from racism against other groups. Those gingers certainly have thick/freckled skin.
    1
  852. I'm a fat B-tard. Now pay up.
    1
  853.  @des_smith7658  same goes for hoes.
    1
  854. @I tell the truth He seems to express what we're thinking, without us realising that's what we're thinking, if that makes sense. (it doesn't)
    1
  855.  @matthewbartsh9167  my apologies, I didn't pick up on the humour. I get it. I will remove my somewhat mean-spirited riposte
    1
  856. Turns out, Andrew Lawrence's agent was far worse than this.
    1
  857. Most Only Fans creators provide content that is both cultured and tasteful, and almost always ends with me pulling my own cock off.
    1
  858. This "installation" just increases the existential feeling of paranoia that we're at the mercy of globalist puppet masters and democracy is no longer effective, or in fact representing the masses.
    1
  859. He's a national embarrassment. It's nice when it's someone else's nation.
    1
  860. Those sexy monkeys.
    1
  861.  @vanvilet1  I think I'll stick to Spam-a-lot, then. 😂
    1
  862.  @paulcarmichael2368  TL;DR
    1
  863.  @madcat2256  😄 I know, right? It's like they don't give monkey's about the alphabet people.
    1
  864.  Brittunculi  My uncle married to a man. True. That muddies the Auntie/Uncle/nuts saying a little. (they do make a good quiche, though)
    1
  865. Where's "ginger history month"? (I mean, we just had St. Patrick's Day, I suppose)
    1
  866. That. Poor. Ginger. Bastard.
    1
  867. Andrew should wear twenty party hats for each million views. 🎉
    1
  868.  @hydeparkist  can't argue with maths!👍
    1
  869. I know this goes against the grain, but I'm not bothered if the dirty old sod groomed a young lad. When I was a teenager, if some hot, older woman came up to me and offered career opportunities for s-x, I'd jump at the chance. Men and women are very different.
    1
  870.  @marionthomas5947  The point was the hypocrisy. However, I don't believe we should judge politicians by their morality. It's like judging a lion on his veganism.
    1
  871.  @marionthomas5947  You're right.
    1
  872.  @likklej8  Not anymore, it's run by a bunch of sneering tosspots, who have forgotten they're working for us.
    1
  873. No one looks to politicians for moral guidance, and I find the media's "shock" at Boris' antics quite amusing. Personally, I prefer a filthy, scumbag politician. They're less likely to make oppressive, puritanical laws.
    1
  874. I almost feel sorry for the ginger prick. In a couple of years, when he's divorced, he'll find very few allies.
    1
  875.  @alangknowles  Damn that algorithm. Both the creator and destroyer of channels.
    1
  876. I can only assume most Tory backbenchers boarded at a public school and have no interest in the shapely, exposed limbs of a lady. (Just cock)
    1
  877.  @lookandlisten5740  🤣
    1
  878. Can I ask a question... Are hardened criminals supposed to find the police fucking hilarious? Is there some reason for this I've yet to figure-out?
    1
  879. 2020 was a year of lies for the BBC. A year that was "mostly peaceful".
    1
  880. Without an effective opposition, do we actually have a democracy?
    1
  881. I certainly wouldn't call Vine a Spandex-loving twunt.
    1
  882. The best way of dealing with gym perverts is shag 'em. They're ripped!
    1
  883. When did antisemitism become almost acceptable? I’m amazed at some of the questionable ideas people now tolerate.
    1
  884.  @sh-hg4eg  I didn’t say legal, I said acceptable.
    1