Comments by "looseycanon" (@looseycanon) on "Russia's Discord Ban is a DISASTER" video.

  1. Russia: Bans Steam TV report 24 hours later: Breaking news at this hour. It appears that Russo-Ukrainian war is over, however, it also appears that a number of different threats have risen within Russian borders. We have reports of Russian and Ukrainian forces jointly invading Russian territories, carrying out sweeping operations against, according to one soldier, "animals bearing striking resemblance to Chrisalids from acclaimed strategy game series X-Com", killing anything that moves. The soldier also noted "I may have to disobey my orders, though. We've received orders to also kill those, whom these creatures attack!", bringing uncomfortable implications to the situation. Further, per Russian request, Swedish and Finnish forces have entered Carellia region to assess reports of local population in a state of religious frenzy. Soldiers confirmed these reports, stating that most citizens have armed themselves with chainsaws and have been attacking each other, claiming that "the Devil is real" and "their neighbors have been possessed". Surprisingly, no aggression was shown towards the foreign troops and beyond insistence of local population on addressing the foreign soldiers as "slayers" and refusing to disarm, are following instructions delivered with fervor. The city of Sankt Peterburg has gone dark and citizens living in the outskirts of the city have fled. They have reported appearance of strange green and blue crystals, that made them feel sick upon contact with skin, shortly after the ban on Steam game distribution and social media platform had been announced. A previously unknown cult of fanatics had also been mentioned in testimonies of the now internal refugee population. This cult appears to be completely unaffiliated with dominant christian orthodox church in the region or christian faith in general. It's practitioners have been allegedly seen carrying out rites glorifying "the technology of peace" near sites of crystal growth and showed outright irrational fear of mammoths and any tank over 62 tones total weight. Moscow is also reporting erratic behavior among it's inhabitants. Local policemen have over just last six hours seized over 300 rocket launchers, 200 miniguns, 4000 small arms and an undisclosed number of seemingly energy weapons and enough ammunition for said weapons to fully stock the Russian Army for the next decade. The chief of police urged the government to issue a stay-in-home order, as in his own words "the weapons are showing up out of thin air exactly in the places, where we seized them mere minutes after we have done so. The population is agitated and trying to get to these weapons, claiming they need to entertain the masses in some sort of tournament. Even my own men are beginning to lose their sanity and are requesting permissions to patrol the streets with these seized weapons.", later he added, "I'm having to actually approve of these requests for special weaponry, because denying them already threatened mutiny and I don't have enough men to keep both citizens of Moscow safe and keep my own men in check.". A local citizen commented upon seeing an officer with a minigun in one hand and a rocket launcher in the other, "This is unreal!". Trouble is also brewing along the span of the Transsiberian railroad. the Russian army is investigating reports of strange behavior among populace. For instance in Vladimir region population has been reported to done strange creatures on their heads, to self mutilate, mutilate others and allegedly have engaged in cannibalism. Those, who have managed to evade this gruesome disturbance of their psyche, have on the other hand succumbed to fascination with Greek Alphabet and forgot how to count beyond two. In unrelated case, the city of Vladimir, administrative capitol of the region, petitioned government to be renamed to "Ravenholm" hours after first incidents of self mutilations were first reported. Further down the track, city of Kirov has succumbed to fascination with lighter-than-air aviation and started producing airships. Currently, Kirov is reporting four airships built, but are anticipating delays on others due to shortage of maneuver props. Entire Chelyabinsk region has reported shortages of red, blue, pink and purple colors, as well as most metals. In a press conference to the shortage, the mayor of the city of Chelyabinsk declared that "the Emperor's Children require these materials, so that they may better serve the Four". Question "who are the Four?" never got it's answer, as the roles of participants seemingly shifted and the reporter had been repeatedly asked, whether "he served the Corpse Emperor?". After declaring himself member of the "Alpha Legion", the reporter along with the rest have been dismissed and ordered to leave the premises of "The Garden", as they need to prepare for the long march on the "Imperial Palace". Russian general staff is currently attempting to find clues, whether this means another march on Moscow or this time on Sankt Peterburg. Russian far eastern command has reported loss of their entire navy, as well as raising claims, that a number of Chinese ships being sunk by a single girl, who appeared to have been levitating over the surface of water. Seeing the situation, Russian far eastern command had ordered armored trains be pulled out of long term storage and deployed throughout Vladivostok region and are currently in talks with central government about their deployment throughout the Transsiberian railroad. The decision caused panic among commuters from nearby towns and villages. One villager stated "I don't know, when will I be able to return home! I need the job, but my parents are old and sick and need care, so I have to return home. The sooner the better! With those idiotic politicians in charge, who knows? This one might as well be my last train home.".
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