Comments by "Misty Culous" (@mistyculous9644) on "How To Deal With People Who Interrupt You" video.

Every time I have trouble retrieving words to explain myself, some sort of motion is always a solution for me. Unfolding myself physically to become less tense usually helped. What helped me to become more articulate was to imagine explanations for things that were happening around me to other people, (while people-watching) My rule for myself was that I had to come up with explanations that were innocent, not based on what I was afraid they might be doing that was dangerous to someone. I did all this for another reason, but I think that by doing this, it prevented my fear from freezing my thinking ability whenever I had something to say in other situations.
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On remembering contributions - It helped me to learn to take notes by hand - and during a conversation with a group - write down what I wanted to say. Writing or typing on the phone was less intrusive than recording. Then if someone else brought it up, I wouldn't need to say it. People might ask what you're writing if you're using a pen and paper, then you can speak up. After I took notes for awhile, I got much better at remembering what I wanted to say. Also, at the beginning of your interaction, you can state your policy - that you're waiting to be invited to speak. Then if nobody invites you, it's their responsibility that they didn't invite you.
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How do you deal with people who have a definite agenda about what they want to tell EVERYONE about - and you're the newest victim?
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I've prepared come-back quips that I can trot out in that situation - humor works every time. Bullies have said things such as, "I'll let you know when I want to hear what you have to say," To which I prepared replies such as, "Well, you'd better want to hear me now, because I'm going to say something whenever I feel like it, whether to want to hear it or not." Or, "I'm hoping you are not a narcissistic sociopath...too." Or, "how will you know if you want to hear what I have to say if you never allow me to utter a word?"
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I have to say, socially, despite "women's rights," women STILL get actively silenced in a group. It's a power play, who is going to "Win" the attention of the group. I've seen women successfully fight for their ability to continue with what they have to say without being repeatedly interrupted by reinforcing an expressed agreement, such as: "Everyone gets five minutes" etc. AND stating the defending the ability to have the floor to speak will not be counted in this five minutes. The best book that has helped me on becoming away of speaking style differences was: "Talking 9 to 5" by linguistics prof Deborah Tannen.
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get an agreement from others you know to stop participating in this = give it a name. Where I live, it's called "Talking Stink" - and the small town I was from called it "Feeding the Rumor Mill," but you can give it another name.
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Wave your arms around - ask, "Do we want to talk as a group, or just private simultaneous conversations?" Match the speed of talking in your first sentence or phrase, then slow down when you get people's attention.
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Make a show of putting on your "Counselor" hat? In essence, they're forcing you into the role of either being a counselor or condoning their actions to each other, right?
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Practical!! YES, we could say, "I'm not finished yet." Or: "hang on, I wanna hear you after me," or "Let's take turns talking," or "Am I not letting you talk?"
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Ask yourself - how is the interruption functioning? Interrupting can be meant as a reinforcement, an agreement with what you're saying. For instance, the SoCAL culture interrupts this way. Plus - pretty much anyone can understand more than one person talking at a time. (Which is a reason to just continue talking if you are being interrupted.) Many people interrupt because they believe if they don't say what just occurred to them, they will forget it. So their interrupting is an emergency preservation of creative capacity! ((I've "labeled" this, making people feel understood, so they'll interrupt like this more humorously - I always want "funny" interruptions!) Sometimes interruption is a problem with them not getting an indicator that they're being understood. So the person keeps repeating themselves in different ways, as a teacher would, because they think others aren't giving them the "right" kind of "I got it" acknowledgement. Interrupting also has a function to advance the conversation. It's used as a way to indicate to the people you know well, "I've heard that story already, let's skip the rest and get to the point." Or, "Don't go into that old story I've already heard because it's just going to distract from the point of the current topic, which is..."
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