Comments by "j0elsuf" (@SirJoelsuf1) on "HealthyGamerGG" channel.

This needs to be pinned. Like NAO. For the love of every deity in existence this needs to be pinned. Fuck me, I'll literally be a top tier patron on this channel for one month to try to get this one comment pinned on this one video because pretty much 95% of anyone whose love life sucks or who is not satisfied with their love life needs to see it.
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Even when I was growing up, I've always observed that parents are abusive by nature because of how much power they wield. Most parents don't know how to control that kind of power and become low-key abusive. I came to this epiphany in junior high when I owned a cat. I said to myself "holy shit, I can COMPLETELY control if this cat survives or not; if I don't feed it or give it water and keep it in the house, it'll eventually die. Damn." I was 13 or so at the time. Don't worry, I didn't entertain that. I made sure to take care of my cat. But that observation DID cross my mind back then. Don't think many parents see it that way. At all. They just get too excited to start a family or like Dr. K says their own upbringing gets them to project their own pain onto their kids.
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17:50 The EXACT same thing happened to me in high school, creeped out a cheerleader and she accused me of harassment, practically everyone in our graduating class knew about it. Broke me for a LONG minute. Was so bad that I got a mixed reaction while walking the stage during graduation. Went through the EXACT same stuff Dr K talked about for nearly 15 years. That event was the icing on the cake to a couple other things that happened to me during high school, including watching my mom leave my dad and a childhood friend sexually assaulting me a year after that. Not gonna lie, I was mad at everything especially myself for awhile. But still managed to attempt to live a normal life. Being to chicken shit to off myself directly, I decided to take out as many student loans as I could so that I could "incentivize" doing such a thing. This went on until I was 30 or so. STILL couldn't do it. Nowadays I focus on my responsibilities. I've eliminated the words "blame" and "fault" from my lexicon, I DO NOT use them. I swap "blame" and "fault" with "responsibility/responsible" and "accountability/accountable." I made dumb decisions and am responsible for them and I want to hold myself accountable for them. Not gonna lie, sometimes I still attack myself and it's still kind of difficult to forgive myself. But as long as I say to myself "I KNOW I can be responsible and accountable" I usually snap myself out of it.
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Oh yeah. That's happened to me several times. tbh going to a counselor is good to a point. If they work with you on things that affected your mental health and how they affect different areas of your life, that's a good thing. But most counselors do NOT do that.
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That's usually how it goes tho. A lot of dudes (myself included) get DESTROYED by one-itis that didn't work out then they attempt to go the complete other way while ignoring their shitty mental health that was usually brought on by something else. That's how it was with me anyways.
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I've seen nearly 20 different therapists in my life and tbh I treated involuntary hospitalization as a threat to scare me out of hurting myself or others. I would see that happen to someone right outside the facility yeah, got really difficult to get anything out of therapy/counseling then. Fortunately most of these sessions were cheap or free with my college tuition but still. Kinda sucks.
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Happens to just about 95% of the chicks I go out with. And that is a GOOD thing. Means there's better opportunities out there.
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Dunno if Dr. K or his staff see the comments, but is there any way to get chosen to be interviewed? I have a similar past to Doc. Family life wasn't as chaotic (was raised by a single dad) but it was definitely traumatic (was sexually assaulted by a friend of the family when I was in high school).
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I'm nearly twice your age and I'm in the exact same position. Only I got a few buddies which is nice. But yeah I live paycheck to paycheck and my future is not only uncertain, every month is a fight to avoid being evicted/homeless. It was the life I chose because I also chose to be a victim of things my whole life, believing there was a legitimate conspiracy against my success brought on by chicks who rejected me in high school. Yeah, its some supreme gentleman stuff. Not proud of it. But I'll get through it. You will too. Every day is a new adventure.
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Something that irks me is how much Asriel is grinning through this. I've never been that pleasant when talking to any therapist or counselor...and I've seen nearly 20 of em in my life.
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Yes. That is their very first incentive, since that is how they MAKE money.
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That has had to a couple of buddies of mine. It happens if you aren't around older people who don't play said sport. I've been bowling since before grade school and seeing people over 50 bowl and ask me for advice makes me want to keep bowling. And I just started getting into golf about 5 years ago and I'm asking people 20 or so years older than me for advice. THAT is what keeps me going; being around older athletes.
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@OurWonderland That is a GOD tier response lol
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@janhradecky3141 I disagree. I was sexually assaulted twice in my life and wasted nearly two decades of my life taking it seriously, literally thinking that I was some weird freak cuz nobody believes that dudes can be sexually assaulted. When I started trivializing them as you say, things got better. While there is a difference between trivializing things in hopes of them magically going away and trivializing them to show that you have recovered, you can't take your problems seriously forever. They'll wind up influencing every decision you make in the future.
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I got "drawing" and "cooking" from that. BOTH can be a form of income, and one (drawing) can be totally remote and done mostly on your own terms. Soooo you can cook at a really nice restaurant near you (or even better be a personal cook for someone) and draw stuff for people. Boom, two incomes. And you should probably stop watching anime or at least limit yourself to just a couple shows.
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Learn to enjoy and even prefer your own company. Be too busy to feel lonely.
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Person who feel like they "can't" succeed in being in a sexual relationship believing that they are involuntarily celibate. That's where "incel" comes from.
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I've always used "dude" and "chick." Takes WAY less effort to say haha. It's also easier to use in conversations. "I can't stand how that chick is with that dude" sounds a little better than "I can't stand how that female is with that male" lol. This is coming from a former incel too.
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A buddy of mine killed himself about six months after his 30th birthday in the summer of 2014. NONE OF US saw it coming. No tip offs, nothing. We knew that he was having problems with his girl and was working a dead end job, just slumming around in retail but he NEVER seemed to be affected by that when we hung out. At ALL. My theory was that he was looking at his life, comparing it to others, and that made him feel inadequate, causing him to kill himself. To me there are three reasons why mental health is not getting better. 1) Social media has created a perpetual high school environment where you're always under a microscope when it comes to how much social value you have. This DESTROYS mental health. 2) Too much damn jargon. It's why I don't trust ANY counselor. They use too much jargon, it only makes things worse in some cases, and just confuses most. 3) Less emphasis on personal responsibility and more emphasis on ego in our discourse. Thomas Szasz famously said that there is no such thing as mental illness, just varying degrees of irresponsibility. As someone who has struggled with suicidal thoughts from my late teens all the way to my early 30s, I was just as triggered as anyone else was when I came across that statement. But then when I put my ego aside, things changed. I became more responsible and almost overnight I was too busy being responsible to even think of hurting myself.
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The EXACT same thing happened when I took Wellbutrin about a decade ago. Couldn't sleep, couldn't get aroused, lost my sense of taste and smell, NOTHING good came out of it. Threw the bottle into the ocean a few weeks after and vowed to never see a "mental health professional" again. Since then (early 2012) I've been on a crusade to take everything we currently know about mental illness and turn it on its ass. Cuz what we are doing is NOT working. "There is no such thing as mental illness, just varying degrees of irresponsibility." -Thomas Szasz
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Watch/Listen to a dude named Brian Tracy. Dude changed my life. Same with David Goggins, although Goggins might be a little much. Brian Tracy however is amazing. It's all about responsibility. How are you going to be responsible today?
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Not entirely impossible. One of my high school buddies was also a 13 year old freshman. Turned 14 halfway through the school year.
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It's just another way of escaping and running away from problems. Just like how it has been revealed that Chris Chan's trolls were revealed to be just as twisted as him and just like SJdubs and Tradcons use the same kind of language and mannerisms in an attempt to rule the universe with their ideals. It's just another way of escapism, with the added rationality of "well at least I'm not hoarding, doing drugs or watching pr0n or anything else that 'degenerates' do." Insulting anyone beyond joshing or playfully making fun is escapism.
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11:25 - 11:35 Dr. K pretty much just summarized my entire life. I have a very bad habit of insulting myself and my behavior. Been doing this since I was a kid and although I don't openly dislike myself like back in the day, I definitely get very mad at myself if I don't do what I set out to do.
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Oh yeah. It's gonna happen within the next decade or so. I've dubbed it "The Activist Inquisition." Eventually, our entire discourse is going to revolve around social/political issues that ONLY surround the world outside of them. Individuality/thinking for oneself will be aggressively punished and violent radicalization like what Dr K is saying will be glorified. As you say, a cultural cataclysm. It won't end well for the western world.
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This whole observation of starting "late" in the realm of dating, sex, and relationships is TOTAL 100% high school nonsense brought on first by reality TV in the late 1990s and cemented by social media now. NO. ONE. CARES. Chicks don't judge dudes by how "experienced" they are. They only appear to. They judge dudes based on how well said dudes can protect them from creepy weird Chris Chan type dudes who pressure said chicks to mother them, which is at the core of most dudes who suck with the opposite sex; they appear to objectify chicks by seeing them as pieces of meat but REALLY objectify chicks by seeing them as replacements for their moms since those types are obsessed with validation seeking and if a chick mothers them that is the ultimate validation. I say this as a dude who used to struggle with this...a lot lol. btw I know chicks objectify dudes too but I'm not tryna write a blog post here which is what would happen if I were to list all the ways chicks objectify dudes lol. Sooooo literally the ONLY thing you need to do if you are "starting late" (and again, fuck this retarded high school concept of "starting late") is to learn how to take the "pressure" out of this stuff by not taking it so seriously, learning how to have normal conversations, learning how to invite without being pushy, learning to flirt and make moves and not be nervous about it, and for the love of every deity that has existed over the last 200000 years, refusing the temptation to see chicks as a replacement for your mother or any other form of esteem for you. That last one is BY FAR the biggest challenge since it is preached to us that it is "beautiful" to see partners and potential partners as sources of esteem. But eliminating that ONE thing changes everything.
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@mandokir Watch the second video in this where Dr. K follows up. He hasn't put in much effort in improving his love life because one of his co-workers accused him of harassment which not only got him fired from his job but also left him feeling like he wasn't "allowed" to develop his love life for a number of years. I think when the other one in this thread said that he should "chill" it means that he should chill in that he should realize that there is no "time limit" for finding a lover. It'll happen if you put forth a decent effort without being overly fixated on it, which is what tends to happen with dudes his age who aren't experienced.
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First, follow the following channels immediately: Bulldog Mindset and Caleb Jones. Mine's mostly gaming/wrestling stuff but I do pepper in some "life" content like this. Feel free to follow it if you want. In a couple months I'll be making a channel similar to Dr. K's. Anyway, watch and take notes on the content on Bulldog and Jones' channels about getting in shape as well as making more money as if they were college courses. Cuz to you they pretty much are at this point. Keep in mind that like myself, Bulldog and Jones are supportive but tough individuals. You won't get what I call EES or "empty emotional support" from any of us. Then do the following by the time you turn 35: -Move out of your folks place; yes, even if you have debt. Get a second job or do Uber stuff on your days off. Try to do this by 2022. Earlier the better. -Get to a healthy weight. You claim to have lost nearly 100lbs. Nice. Now lose another 100. This may just take you until 35 but that's alright. But once you are obese and 35+, you'll only live until 50 or so. Again, the earlier the better. -Find a better job that pays you more, using the experience you gained from your current shitty job. More than likely this is going to be a sales job. EVERYONE UNDER 35 no matter what gender they want to be NEEDS to work a sales job for at least 2 years. This means you. -Talk to a counselor. Or someone on Dr. K's staff. Or ME if you want (I work almost exclusively with men who have been sexually assaulted since I myself am a man who has been sexually assaulted but I can probably work with you too). You have mental health issues that you absolutely need to address. Quick note about the obesity thing: Even obese dudes can get with chicks. Nearly 3/4 of the chicks I've been with (I've had sex with about 25 different chicks so do the math on that) have said that I was "a lot less heavy than their ex." And I'm 5'8'' 205. That's about as close to obese without actually BEING obese. But if I were you I wouldn't even care about chicks right now. I'd move out of my folks place then get to a healthy weight.
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I wonder if there's anything on this channel that deals with guys having severe trust issues with chicks? Cuz that's what I deal with. Can't have a relationship for more than a few months without halting all communication. I'm afraid the chick is either gonna pressure me to make her happy or accuse me of something. Kinda don't like it since it DOES interfere with my love life.
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It kind of is. The best thing to do is: -Multiple incomes -Find ways to choose your own hours/bosses -Location independent/remote That's what I'm pursuing. And I'll be 40 next year. I feel REALLY bad for those who just have a regular job and who foolishly believe it's gonna stick. It ain't. Even if it is something they "like."
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11:15 Good lord, this kid thinks a 3.75 SUCKS? Fuck me, back when I was in school I had to grind my face off just to hit the 3.0 mark. In social science classes. That were chock full of partying frat dudes and sorority chicks. At party schools. This kid needs to drop out. Stat. He'll look 60 by the time he's 30.
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Then he should hit ME up when he's 38 haha.
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@Maelthorn1337 I wonder if being sexually assaulted twice and possibly being molested as a kid counts as an "interesting problem?" Cuz that's what happened to me, among other things.
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15:00 I agree. "motivation," "should" and "hope" are used by weak individuals who want outside forces to be perfect before they take any action. All three can be replaced with "discipline," "must," and "will."
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