Comments by "j0elsuf" (@SirJoelsuf1) on "Cole Hastings" channel.

  1. We haven't NEEDED purpose for a long time. A lot of "purpose" has been thrust upon us and we've been fighting against it. That's what leading lives in quiet desperation is about. You need to "extract" hopelessness from somewhere, and most of it is from the perpetual high school that stuff like social media has become. You don't need to change the world, you just need to make sure that you and those who are important to your life are happy and safe. But because communication is now so constant, we're tricked into believing that if you aren't perfect and trying to make the next groundbreaking new cool thing that will save the world, you're a total degenerate loser.
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  2. Yeah. That's why I don't take Cole too serious. Love the production of his content, but none of it has much substance. This kid never had to deal with any REAL adversity and it shows. A lot.
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  3. Not gonna lie, I've been wrestling with this kind of stuff for most of my life. I'll be 40 in three months. Still living check to check, still one bad break away from moving back in with my folks and just rotting away there lol. Part of me doesn't care. After seeing my dad die from cancer right in front of me months after I turned 24, I literally stopped caring about everything. Was like "eh, I'm gonna get cancer and die when I turn 50 so who gives a shit?" So I didn't do shit with my life, just partied, dicked around on 4chan, watched hours of pr0n daily, went to college literally just so I could party and bowl on the team, took hard drugs while working grave shift at a gas station. Not a care in the world...Far as I was concerned I was dead by 50 anyways. That part will NEVER go away. It's SO easy to slip into fatal nihilism after something like that. Counselors/Therapists haven't helped. Seen about 35 of em, very little progress. I'm just trying to rebuild everything right now. Don't know how I'm gonna do it, don't have a lot of help, but I really don't care. I like it that way. That said, I don't regret much. I did a LOT of stupid shit until 35 or so but it was all meant to be anyways. I mean yeah if I made different moves would things be better? Who the hell knows. So why waste time/energy trying to figure it out?
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  4. Cole was spot on with 7:30 - 8:30 about the difference between being genuinely good and being a simp/stan.
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  5. This whole thing just tells me that we're seeing the beginning of all the horrible secondary effects of social media and other ways of mass communication. It's bringing out the perpetual angsty high schooler in nearly all of us. Those who will proper will be able to control social media and not let social media control them.
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  6. Cole has most of this wrong. We're not seeing a rise in individualism, we're seeing a rise in groupthink philosophies, which is actually worse. Just because we're not doing the stuff we used to do anymore doesn't mean individualism is on the rise. Especially when communication has become so widespread and on autopilot that anyone with a stupid opinion can amass a cult like following. This phenomenon shows a LACK of individualism and critical thinking. As someone who had to read and do term papers on Bowling Alone, Putnam's argument was that there are communities that are intentional and communities that aim to achieve groupthink, aka cults. Cole didn't once explore this dichotomy and that is disappointing. And yes, even as early as 2000 this kind of stuff was happening. We don't have communities anymore. We have cults, and that is thanks in large part to a LACK of individualism or more Schmoozers than Machers.
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  7. I feel like I'm the opposite. I tend to be way TOO active and I'll often lift/run at the expense of doing other productive stuff. Like I'll take time off work just so I can go for a run or go to the gym. Then I'll feel guilty after lol
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  8. No. Traditional therapy was designed by women for women. More and more research is beginning to show that physical activity in and of itself can work just as much if not better than any form of SSRIs for dudes. "Traditional" therapy is designed for the patient to release a lot of tension by talking about their problems then taking medication that alters the wiring in their brain. That's all well and good...if you are a chick and you are waaaaaay more emotional than any dude ever will be. But us dudes operate differently, we are wired differently, and traditional therapy can only do so much.
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  9. Tate straight up acts like a chick. Acts like a total diva. I've had this impression of him since day one. There is NOTHING masculine about going out of your way to attack others. That is a FEMININE trait. Always has been always will be. Unless you are defending someone who is important to you who can't defend themselves or who asks you for help. Then that's masculine. Any boy who has a life goal of triggering bra burners on the internet would change their tune in seconds if a bra burner jumped their bones. I have SEEN this happen. Would happen to Tate as well. I can tell.
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  10. There are only FOUR things that make you "masculine:" 1) Being responsible for yourself/those who YOU think are important to you no matter what 2) Absolutely REFUSING to be a victim no matter how bad things are 3) Not giving a FLYING SH1T about all the BS going on around you and just moving on 4) Helping others regardless of their background without seeking their approval Emotions and being physically tough or aggressive doesn't have as much to do with it as many think. Stuff like being macho, to me has always been a feminine trait. A toxic one, too. Since everyone I've been around who has acted macho have always smacked me of someone who is just begging for approval/validation. But those four pillars mentioned above? Those PROVE masculinity. Look at someone like Brian Tracy, for example. Here's a guy who is about the furthest from macho but no one would EVER question that he DOESN'T have masculine traits. And guess what, those four pillars are based from what I got from his book, Maximum Achievement.
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  11. Agree with all of that except the last line. I don't trust my gut when I make a move, I just do it and deal with the consequences later. I mean if the chick isn't having it I'll back off but when it comes to making move that "gut" feeling is just more propaganda brought on by the new alliance of fake tradcons and bra burning Karens who still think monogamous marriage is a good idea for society lol
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  12. I've come to the conclusion that looking to ANYONE for validation is pretty much abusive. Abusive to yourself and others since you're literally trying to force words/actions out of others to attempt to make yourself kind of feel better. And its abusive to yourself because the action of looking to others for validation pretty much says that you openly dislike yourself and want to be someone else.
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  13. I always felt like it should be changed to "let modernity be, embrace masculinity." Having a "live and let live" outlook is INCREDIBLY masculine. LGBTs aren't delusional or anything, they're just dealing with things the way they think is best. Sure SOME of them go out of their way to endanger the livelihoods of those not of their kind but that's a tribalist issue which transcends sex/gender/race/age/whatever. Attacking stuff? Not masculine at all. In fact that's toxic femininity since you seek approval when you attack stuff and all forms of approval seeking is toxic femininity.
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  14. I kinda disagree with that. Discovering Stoicism actually improved my mental health quite a bit. But yeah it doesn't mean you should NEVER feel ANY emotions. Just make sure you are AWARE of em haha
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  15. 12:30 Oh yeah, that kind of jealousy ran my life for the LONGEST time lol. I used to literally jealous of everyone around me to the point where I literally thought there was a conspiracy against me, not a good place to be. But as soon as I started asking "yo what if those who I am jealous of are jealous of ME? That would be funny." Then I started to believe it.
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  16.  @ColeHastings  How so, Cole? Most "therapists" do less than nothing.
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  17.  @jons4934  Why would she be homeless because she drank, smoked, and partied? My last gf was a travel nurse who made $125k a year and she drank, smoked, and partied. Responsibly, but she still did that stuff. Like AT LEAST 90% of any given western chick over 16 drinks, smokes, and parties...often well into their 60s.
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  18. I'm a pretty meh looking dude and because of that, I only really expect to get with meh looking chicks. Makes me glad I'm as old as I am. If I was just a decade younger I don't know how things would be. And I'm not a fan of Betterhelp and honestly, not a big fan of modern therapy as it is. It uses way too much jargon and next to none of it is truly useful. I've seen right around 30 different therapists in my life. That's a lot of time and money wasted from therapist after therapist who were like "oh you have ____, take these pills for it." REAL therapy is done when you understand that you have a deck stacked against you and ENJOYING it. Everything changes when you do that.
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  19. That's pretty cool but I've grown to be VERY distrustful of therapists/counselors. Not sure if you are the type of therapist who pushes your patients to do group therapy or get antidepressants, but the ones I have seen did...constantly. And ngl as someone who practically needed to BE his own therapist, I'm committed to stopping it. I've seen nearly 30 different therapists in my life, both dudes and chicks. All but TWO pushed group therapy/antidepressants onto me, as if they were selling me something. Because of this, I have grown to not only distrust modern therapists, but do all I can to bring them down because the work they are doing is backfiring. Consider this a challenge: Be better than who I've seen...if the nameless and faceless organizations you deal with will let you.
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  20. Whatever. Just take another bath in all the money you made when you made Chocolate Rain.
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  21. Anyone else experience crippling anxiety when doing this stuff? I can't start it without feeling incredibly guilty about all the dumb shit I've done.
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  22. You already DO have a good relationship: The one you have with yourself. Learn to enjoy your own company and prefer it.
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  23. Did you check out the chick for over 9069 centuries (or more than three seconds) before approaching? Based on your experience, I can guess that the answer is probably yes. Checking out chicks before approaching em will ALWAYS make ANYONE creepy no matter what they look like.
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  24. Cole doesn't know. Do you expect him to? I mean I'm a fan, but like at least 3/4 of Cole's content is semantics with some jargon and some public studies made on a VERY small sample size thrown in.
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  25. At 26? Are you kidding me? It isn't too late at 46 let alone 26.
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  26. Or you can focus on your responsibilities, double down on those, and tell yourself that as long as you are focusing on your responsibilities, you are enough. That's what's worked for me for about a decade: It's what broke me out of my cycle of pr0n addiction, 4chan, social media, drinking, and suicidal thoughts that I struggled with for nearly 15 years in a row. Just asked myself "is this responsible? Am I doing the responsible thing here?" But yes I agree with your observation. Just venting at people in your life will get them to leave you. Quickly. While it is necessary to do that if you feel like shit (so you can get back to your responsibilities), you gotta offer some value in there.
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  27. Right there with you, that's cuz YouTube is pretty much like TV where you can surf channels/content etc.
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  28. LMAO that's what I said too. Meanwhile like everyone across the board has been having less sex over the last five or so years.
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  29. Well, 13 is for the late bloomers. If you actually study the Constitution and Charter, it actually says 5.
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  30. Fcuk me senseless, there is NO SUCH GOD DAMN THING as "hookup culture." It's just chicks being really hypersexual because they are "allowed" to be and even then it's incredibly rare for a chick to even BE hypersexual. Yeah I mean it's really stupid to judge anyone based on how much or how little s3x they are having and yeah it is REALLY STUPID for anyone over the age of 25 or so to think that way but that's what we've become. It's how social media as a main form of communication has changed us. High school never ends now and this dumb "culture" is part of it.
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  31. lol I agree. It isn't complicated at all. It's like learning how to bowl, play golf, or play poker. There are certain fundamentals that you need to possess and that's about it. The stuff you listed are some of them, I want to put down three more: 4. Learn people skills. How to talk to a total stranger as if you knew them for 5+ years. Best way to do this is to work a sales job for three months. And I mean a REAL sales job: Selling cars, appliances, etc. There are so many boys who don't know how to do this because they're just dicking around online all day trying to see how many lulz they can seek. 5. Organize your expectations, desires, and assumptions of yourself and with chicks. Especially assumptions holy sh1t. Make sure they are HEALTHY and not based on stupid nonsense. NO, that single mom doesn't automatically want you to take care of her kids. NO, that sorority chick isn't going to automatically shoot you down cuz you're not in a frat. NO, not every chick you come across is a raging bra burner who will accuse you of sexual assault after you wave at her. 6. Get TF out there. 16 to 20 per week. ANY chick you are attracted to. THAT is how many chicks a dude who is REALLY interested in improving their love/sex life should shoot for. Love how these dudes go "ZOMG I can't find any chicks!1!1!!1!1" then I ask them "well how many have you invited somewhere last week?" Their answer? Like 5 PER YEAR. Unbelievable.
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  32.  @monk4ever  Same here. Especially nowadays when most "discussions" are comprised of insults and prejudice no matter who it involves.
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  33. Absolute degeneracy. Just like MOST activist groups over the last 20-25 years or so.
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  34. Don't need it if you are young (under 35). So yeah, if you are under 35, just do the work. Life under 35 should be all about establishing a good foundation when it comes to your physical health, mental health, finances, and love/sex life. After 35, after gaining all that life experience...you'll see the "dove" appear no matter what happens. And you'll know how you need to contribute and who you need to contribute to.
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  35. Do things without needing the permission of others. If they get upset or something, get some information as to why they are upset and attempt to de-escalate the situation if necessary. Not too difficult to understand.
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  36. LMAO I'm one of em! I plan to just casually date until I croak. And monogamous marriage (in the west at least) isn't for ANYONE.
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  37. And dang, this video defined my entire 20s haha. My overly nihilistic viewpoints and constant suicidal thoughts were the icing on the cake. Nearly offed myself probably 3 times, felt like I've been on borrowed time since 30 or so but it's all good now. I gotta rebuild a lot of stuff in my life but it's all good, I'm enjoying myself doing it and don't really care what others think.
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  38. And what Cole is saying at the 10:30 mark is spot on and a lot of dudes don't pay attention to it. Looking to anyone (especially chicks!) for validation, as a man, is straight up abusive. To yourself and others. Cuz now you're tasking them to practically save you from yourself, which...yeah, I'd say that's abusive. Telling someone to do something for you and not making it clear. Oh AND you don't know them either. Not cool.
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  39. Affirmations accomplish the exact reverse of what they are intended to accomplish.
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  40. Yeah that's cuz you take yourself too seriously. I used to have that problem too. After I started telling myself "hell, am I THAT important?" I started overthinking a lot less and taking a lot more action.
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  41. Yup. That's how it is for VPNs as well. That and the Chinese have their hands in cryptocurrencies too. They know exactly who has what and in a few years they will start hacking into the wallets of those who have crypto to start building their world government. Although China has their hands in the other stuff too. Just not as much.
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  42. Monogamy was never natural. Monogamous relationships are designed to end. Tell me this: Can you eat and drink the exact same thing, without ANY alterations, for years on end? Probably not. That's why monogamy isn't natural. And it's why relationships fail. ESPECIALLY because communication is so widespread.
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  43. Even worse then "be yourself."
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  44. "Echo Chambers, or Bubbles, have become the norm." THIS. And guess what, this isn't a new thing, not by a longshot. Been like this for about 50 some odd years, we just haven't had all this hypercommunication back then.
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  45. I'm just glad I'm not seeing an Established Titles ad in this 🤣🤣
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  46. Agree with most of that except that social media was obsolete the day it was invented. Social media was perfectly fine before stuff like feeds and likes became a thing in the early 2010s. When I was on MySpace in the 2000s it was a really good way to keep in touch with buddies who I lost touch with. fb was really nice for creating groups in college and stuff. But then it started hitting diminishing returns. But yeah, the Halo and CoD franchise have NEVER been good. For every decent FPS game (Goldeneye 64, Perfect Dark), there are at least a hundred horrible ones. Its the same with movies...only that's over the last 40 or so years actually.
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  47. ...Why? So you can be at the mercy of THEIR opinions? So you can be burdened to do stuff on THEIR terms? Solitude is freedom. Learn to enjoy (and prefer!) your own company.
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  48.  @ColeHastings  Cole, you oughtta know better. Hamza is a charlatan influencer. Creates fictional characters to get others to follow his worldview and ideals. I suggest you cut ties with him because I get very bad vibes from him. I get the feeling that Hamza doesn't practice what he preaches behind closed doors.
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  49. Kinda sucks you feel that way. But allow me to give you a better perspective cuz I think you need it. Ironically, creepy boys tend to have very low testosterone. In fact, the whole agenda of "be an alpha male or kys" comes from boys who aren't alpha themselves and are a weird combination of macho and cowardly. Being alpha (which is way more about being a leader than it is being a bully; in fact, bullies are the exact opposite of alpha; I tend to call them "Machomegas" since they're omega males who just act tough) and having high testosterone levels have nothing to do with any of that. I have slightly higher than average testosterone for my age and I'm extremely polite (like Mr. Rogers polite lol) to everyone I come across. Look at Cole; he has high testosterone levels and he comes across as a very polite guy. What does that say about him? I also know dudes who have high testosterone levels who are also gay. So what does that say about them? I think you've been exposed to too much philosophies from fringe communities online who often connect testosterone to proper or improper men's behavior when testosterone levels have nothing to do with any of that. Try to separate what you read online from what actual researchers say.
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  50. Funny you say that since Cole collaborates with Hamza a lot.
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  51. No one is entitled to anything.
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  52. And if Cole is gonna read this: Could you PLEASE put in your stupid little sponsored link thing at the END of your videos? No one wants that kind of interruption, no matter how "relevant" you might think it is.
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  53. Ehh, for me its the opposite. The fear of doing ONE push up wrong keeps me from doing 100. Or 300, or 500, or whatever the goal is for the day. Perfectionism + OCD = NO action and like over 9069% Nihilism. It's pretty much been a full time job for me my whole life.
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  54. John Anthony Lifestyle made about an hour long video about this, and I agree with that more than this. I don't take the red pill/manosphere crowd seriously. No one should. All it takes is for ONE chick to jump their bones and they'll backpedal on EVERYTHING they talk about. I can tell from how they act. They're weak, they know it, and they do all they can to hide it. Same thing with the bra burners by the way. They're weak victims too. All it takes is for ONE dude to sweep em off their feet and all of a sudden they'll backpedal ALL of their ideals in the snap of a finger. I've personally known people from both sides. They give that sh1t up real quick when they realize that their philosophies just make them more frustrated. And those who DO follow through on their ideals, choosing to weaponize them? Absolute degenerates. Aim to force everybody around them to adopt their ideals. Let's have Cole talk about THAT. Cuz if I had his following it is ALL I would talk about, this inquisition of sorts we are facing when it comes to activism.
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  55. Let's face it, most "self development/improvement" over the last decade or so is nothing more than mental masturbation. This isn't what guys like Brian Tracy or Anthony Robbins were ever behind. REAL self development/improvement is about detecting a problem in your life and taking ACTION on it. Not wondering if you're acting the way you are supposed to then going through stupid rabbit holes of studies that don't relate one iota to your life. This is coming from someone who attempted to 0ff himself three times in his life: Here's the REAL secret. There are only TWO entities you EVER need to impress: Yourself and whoever supports your livelihood. That's about it. Once I figured that out, it was bye-bye to my bad mental health. Cuz let's face it, this weird culture we are living in wants us to impress EVERYONE ALL THE TIME. Even more so now because of the affect of social media on us, for better or for worse. But once I didn't really care about impressing others, it was like a weight was lifted.
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  56. If it was called the theory of attraction and not the law of attraction it wouldn't get mocked so much I think. On that note, I'm in the "staunch denier" camp when it comes to this. Not only is the LoA a massive rip-off based on woo-woo, it also revolves around you straight up lying to yourself in most cases. To me, success has always been a combination of meaningful work and luck. Gotta put in the effort and be at the right place, in front of the right crowd, at the right time.
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  57. That doesn't really replace sex tho
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  58. Probably gonna get some heat for this, but take some time to pay attention here before getting at me. As someone who dealt with depression and shitty mental health (anxiety, mood swings, suicidal thoughts, homicidal thoughts) for nearly 15 years (from 18 to 30 or so), nearly any given form of shitty mental health is a choice. It's all about being responsible or not. Believe it or not it's THAT binary, despite what the hacks, swindlers, and drug lords known as the mental health industry would have you believe. Never forget the words of Thomas Szasz: There is no such thing as mental illness; just a lack of responsibility. Took me a LONG time to figure that kind of thing out. The more responsible I am, the less time I have to BE depressed. The less time I have to think about offing myself (or others). The less time I have to think about worrying about whether I'm good enough or not. Again, this is coming from someone who not only struggled with suicidal thoughts from my late teens all the way until 30 or so and even though I have never been diagnosed, I have traits of Asperger's, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and even Intermittent Explosive Disorder. So I know what I'm talking about, and I'd wager that I know what I'm talking about more than any "expert" out there. Yes we need to more away from the narrative of "man up, stop being a bitch" when it comes to mental health for dudes. Cuz there is NO substance in that statement. However, the only thing that really needs to change is the language. The message is fine. Swap "man up, stop being a bitch" to "Make the responsible choice, you are worth being responsible" and we're good.
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  59. Cole oughtta pin this comment cuz good god DAMN is it accurate. I had this observation after seeing my 30th counselor about a decade ago. It was then and there that I decided that I needed to be my own damn therapist/counselor. Was sick of getting the poison known as antidepressants pushed on me.
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  60. During my sophomore year I had 5 at one point. 19 credit hours total. Or 17. Can't remember. But like Cole said its pretty common.
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  61. Yeah that's a thing in Northern Europe: They want to keep populations low so their governing systems can actually work and having a population of way more chicks than dudes is one way to achieve that.
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  62. Damn, he actually did haha
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  63. You're...17. Plenty of time to do what you need to do. I can tell one mistake you made and I made the exact and I mean EXACT same one when I was a 17 year old stupid kid: You developed a crush on a chick. Gotta understand that doing that is the closest thing to being abusive (towards yourself and the chick) without actually being abusive and I actually mean that. Not cool, the earlier you learn that lesson the better. Its alright to appreciate a chick. Perfectly cool to say "you know what, you're better than the other chicks I come across" but leave it at that. Catching feelings like that and looking to a chick for validation like you want her to replace your mom or something? Bad move. Here's a goal you should set, something my dumbass should have done when I was 17: Make it a point to invite at least five to ten chicks out on a date per week. Assuming the school you go to is pretty big, this shouldn't be a problem. Get shot down? Here's a good line to react to save your embarrassment: Right on, that's cool. Sorry if that came off as weird, I made a new years resolution to get a better partner than the last one I had. So I'm just trying to get out there. You can also say something like "Gotcha. Sorry if I bothered you, I just made it a point this year to be more outgoing. Didn't mean to make you a part of that or anything haha." And damn, WTF are you doing in college at 17? I was 19 my freshman year...too early in retrospect. I should have started college at 25 lol.
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  64. 10:05 Not sure about Elon or Jocko, but when it comes to Goggins anyone can and SHOULD be like him. I've read his book and he had to be incredibly resourceful and had to practically risk his life to get where he was at today. Goggins was all about pushing yourself just a little bit past whatever your perceived limit is. Anyone can and should do that all the time. But no that doesn't mean you suck if you can't run 100 mile marathons lol. It DOES mean you suck if you keep telling yourself you are a victim of stuff and not overcoming that. There's nothing wrong with telling yourself that you suck at something as long as you know what it takes to suck less and have a clear road map to get there, like what Goggins had to do.
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  65. Is Cole talking about Brian Tracy? This story seems eerily familiar to Tracy.
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  66. What areas? If it's chicks, I recommend John Anthony Lifestyle if you're having trouble finding a date or Caleb Jones if you're already in a relationship and want to make it a successful relationship.
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  67. I feel like Cole should rename this video "Why Shiny Object Syndrome is Making You Miserable" since this is more about that kind of phenomenon than freedom and options.
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  68. Yeah measuring your self worth with those terms is dumb. Just get your happy ass out there, see what you get, then go from there. Boys who obsess about that kind of stuff couldn't approach a thousand chicks in a year if you PAID them, let alone go out with any. Meanwhile I don't care about any of that and I do just fine with the opposite sex as long as I choose to get out there.
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  69. I got just one word for all the BS we gotta deal with today: ...Bruh.
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  70. Soooo...just accept that they have certain social advantages and just deal with it. Every race/gender/whatever has their own set of social advantages. Dudes can get away with stuff that chicks can't get away with. Chicks can get away with certain stuff that dudes can't get away with. Big deal. Just let it be. I say stuff like this to weird "manosphere" tradcons and their equally weird bra burner Karen counterparts all the time. The more you obsess over who has more "privileges" the less everyone around you respects you. One of my bowling buddies is OBSESSED with this stuff. Good dude, but boy does he get insufferable. The result? I have 0% trust in him. Claims he makes a lot of money yet ALWAYS asks EVERYONE around him for money and gets super defensive whenever he owes anyone anything. A bunch of us wanted to get our team to bowl in a tournament. Was $40 per guy. When it was time for him to pay, he got more defensive than a 2 year old. And he's 41. This is what happens when you obsess about how society treats different groups of people. Just let that sh1t go. It doesn't affect you. Never will. No matter what any degenerate activist tells you.
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  71. Preach on! They were nothing but a way for theocracies to control others. I love how both the red pill crew AND the bra burners both agree on that...for the most part, anyways. lol
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  72. I'm only 4 years younger than you and if I discovered online dating 15 years ago instead of 10 years ago, I would have STDs they wouldn't have names for lol. And if I was pushing 30 instead of pushing 40 knowing all I know how? Same thing. I'd be in some trouble lol. Some dudes are just good at chicks. Most aren't. The ones like me who are good literally don't care about the details. A chick is either down or she ain't. To me it is WAY EASIER to get with chicks now than when I was growing up. I mean fcuk me, when I was in high school and the first few years of college I had to physically go out of my way to approach chicks. It's NOTHING like that now. Now, if I wanted to, I could just make my profile look way better, spend a half hour or two swiping on chicks, then all of a sudden I got a date. No, the date won't be with a super attractive chick but I don't care because I myself aren't super attractive. Boys overcomplicate this shit too much.
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  73. My man convincing me to stop going to the gym so I can get back to dicking around on the misc while binging Delray Misfits documentaries in the background...
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  74. First of all, for the love of every deity in existence, can we PLEASE just say "offline" instead of "in real life?" Like good god damn, why is it a thing to say "in real life" instead of just "offline." 7:30 Yeah Cole, that's a unicorn. Those kinds of chicks haven't existed for about 40-50 years now lol. Might sound cynical, but its just how our culture has changed. For better (it is now possible and even encouraged to talk about sex with chicks now which incidentally gets most of em extremely horny cuz most chicks are "allowed" to express their sexuality now lol) and for worse (chicks now have sky-high expectations of dudes but generally aren't willing to improve themselves). Some of the stuff here is good, most of it sucks. Five seconds is way too long to wait to approach (three seconds is the longest you can wait and yeah, chicks notice this), you should never NEVER physically ask a chick to be your girlfriend/partner/whatever (those terms speak of a culture that does nothing more than create unnecessary expectations), and buying chicks gifts is incredibly passe to the point where it can and will be counterproductive. The best way you can SHOW a chick you are going out with that you enjoy what she is bringing is to simply ACT like a good dude towards her, a dude who is willing to show affection and drop his guard, but who she can also feel safe around. Make sure she orgasms AT LEAST once during sex/fooling around. I personally aim for at least two orgasms. If the chick "can't" orgasm that is a blood red flag btw. And if you don't know how to make a chick orgasm then my man, you need to work on that, straight up. Chicks are getting to a place where they are now "allowed" to value sex just as much as dudes. Plenty of PDA when you are around others but not in a forceful way. Talk to her about stuff that still affects you to show her that you are willing to drop your guard. Treat her like she is one of your boys but give her just that much more attention/affection. Chicks LOVE that at least in my experience. And five to ten dates before sex? Bruh. Just...bruh. Even CHICKS would laugh at this.
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  75. 99%*
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  76. 19:45 While this DOES seem unfair, it HAS to be that way. And it isn't even dudes judging other dudes that way. Most of that comes from chicks. Chicks want dudes who are experienced. Shows that they have value. So yeah, just like you should have certain financial milestones by certain ages, you also need to have certain sexual milestones by certain ages. Same with athletic stuff like weightlifting, running, etc. Not a big fan of Andrew Tate since he is the biggest asshole I have ever seen on the internet since Jake Paul, but he was talking about this kind of stuff on this platform and he's not wrong about it. Dudes need to prove to the world that they have value. Chicks look for it, dudes look for it, hell LGBTs look for it. In order to create value, you need to play the game...to a POINT at least. In this day and age you can't just meditate and "rise above" it cuz that doesn't PROVE anything. It's like someone living check to check saying that they're happy even though they aren't financially secure or someone who is overweight who claims that they are "happy" even though they are incredibly unhealthy. However! When it comes to sex, once your count is somewhere around 7 to 17 (depending on how educated you are on sex and sexual techniques etc) you are good to go. Just like you're pretty much good financially if you make around 90k a year and are generally healthy and fit if your body fat% hovers around 15% (or a BMI of 20ish). That's my opinion anyways. Exploring where the drop off among ourselves and preaching that among ourselves within our own confines would be MUCH better than Cole's VERY totalitarian solution that he described at the 23:40 mark when it comes to this stuff. Seriously, why is "Hey government! Make this stop!" The ONLY solution ANYONE has for ANYTHING anymore? Be better, Cole.
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  77. "No one can save you but yourself" Let's GOOOOOOOO
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  78. 6:45 Yeah, that's a BIG problem that I have with the industry. A lot of these mental illnesses are straight up imaginary, yet are treated as serious as mental illnesses that are an actual god damn chemical imbalance. The industry KNOWS this, they profit from it, and even worse, they work with Big Pharma to make sure they give as many people as many happy pills as possible this way they REMAIN mentally ill and develop even MORE mental illnesses. This is gonna ruffle TONS of feathers and will rustle TONS of jimmies but I don't care. Thomas Szasz said it best: Mental illness is nothing more than a failure to be responsible. No pill or therapist can help you if you don't know what your responsibilities are and how you can approach them in a healthy way. But no one in mental health talks about this. Hmm, wonder why. Signed, a dude who had su1c1dal thoughts weekly from 18 until 30 cuz he was an irresponsible degenerate during those years
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  79. Your observation is half correct. Sex DOES come first before ANY "partner" behavior, vulnerability being one of them. It's a very good rule to follow as a dude. Why is it a good rule to follow? Cuz more and more chicks are being trained to act like dudes when it comes to sex. HOWEVER! It actually IS in a chick's nature to be supportive, even emotionally supportive. It's in their genetic code. But, but, but! It is only in their nature to be that way towards dudes who they KNOW can protect them (which in these modern days is signified with sex). So that needs to be handled first. Then you can be vulnerable. And that usually provides the icing on the cake. A lot of dudes mess this up, and that's what leads to observations like yours. Which again are half true. When I acquire a new partner, I aim to have sex first then be vulnerable. And of course establish a good connection before sex. Works very well. Chicks get aroused A LOT by vulnerable dudes who they have already had sex with.
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  80. These "Timidians" sound like assholes. Don't seem "friendly" at all.
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  81. I don't think any dude should be in any serious relationship until they're like 30-35, and even then that's only if they want to start a family. And even THEN the relationship BETTER be open and don't DARE get monogamously married. I mean if you want to its your funeral. When it comes to dating around and stuff? Anyone of ANY age should do that. Just cuz its one more fun thing to do that happens to be healthy. I mean unless you can stomach going dateless and sexless for decades on end and not wind up being a very unhealthy basketcase, then go right ahead.
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  82.  @minabotieso6944  You've described...at least 95% of mental health counseling in any form of delivery, not just Betterhelp.
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  83. See, Cole changing the title knowing that a better title would get more hits is probably why I'll never get a lot of hits on my own channel. My title for this would be: You Don't Know Shit, You Never Knew Shit, And If You Don't Like That Then You Definitely Don't Know Shit.
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  84. Think of it this way... The religious right in the 1970s/1980s crawled so Modern day feminist man haters could walk. Modern day feminist man haters walked so Red Pill groups could run. Anyone who is bought into red pill stuff needs to understand that they are getting third rate bootleg content from people who just want you to stroke and suck their ideologist dicks. Same degenerate activist rhetoric, same emphasis on external problems in lieu of addressing internal ones, same groupthink...degeneracy. Sorry, degeneracy is pretty much the only thing I can think of when I think of any activist group to exist over the last quarter century or so, Red Pill groups included and Red Pill groups more than most because of how much they betray themselves in their actions and how much they swindle their own public. I remember saying this kind of stuff on Red Pill platforms and getting IP banned. Just like I said similar stuff on the "woke" groups and got banned the exact same way. Dissenters be damned: Your sense of individuality and ability to see gray areas in everything around you isn't welcome here. Makes sense to me, it's been that way for decades. I have a background in history and know about these groups more than most in how they operate. The way these groups think and operate goes WAAAY back. And it is a VERY bloodstained past they all share.
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  85. As someone who dealt with depression and shitty mental health throughout most of his 20s, this is accurate. And I'd go as far as to say that even CLINICAL depression is a choice. It's all about being responsible or not. Believe it or not it's completely binary, despite what the hacks, swindlers, and drug lords known as the mental health industry would have you believe. Never forget the words of Thomas Szasz: There is no such thing as mental illness; just a lack of responsibility. Took me a LONG time to figure that kind of thing out. The more responsible I am, the less time I have to BE depressed. The less time I have to think about offing myself (or others). The less time I have to think about worrying about whether I'm good enough or not. Again, this is coming from someone who not only struggled with suicidal thoughts from my late teens all the way until I turned 30 and even though I have never been diagnosed, I have traits of Asperger's, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and even Intermittent Explosive Disorder. So I know what I'm talking about, and I'd wager that I know what I'm talking about more than any "expert" out there.
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  86. @Nikos Zachary Even Goggins himself says to just go a little bit beyond. Has a whole exercise dedicated to it in his book.
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  87. Hell of a presentation, unsettlingly accurate. Makes me feel lucky that I'm 40 and not 20. If I was 20 years younger, I would have been like the TempleOS guy: Natural genius, but would have been too caught up in stuff to make anything of myself and probably would have offed myself. Instead I'm just some Boomer dumbass who sucks at everything except writing which I'm kind of good at and I am perfectly fine with that! lol
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  88. No Fap is dumb. Sure, its a good idea to go without playing with yourself for a few days but its not gonna magically get chicks to leap on your cock. Still need to take action. Still need to get your happy ass out there and invite chicks out on dates. Still need to put yourself in positions where you can meet potential partners. I think what happens with a lot of the no fap cult is that they simply swap out physical masturbation for mental masturbation.
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  89. That used to happen to me. But then I started saying to myself "What's so wrong with no one coming to save me? Why don't I save my damn self? I wouldn't need to be at the mercy of anyone!"
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