Comments by "Curious Crow" (@CuriousCrow-mp4cx) on "Why People Cheat On You" video.

  1. It's unfortunate, but it can happen, but you need to learn from it. Not to be cynical, but to not let desire and romance replace getting to know them really well first. You should be able to understand what they think about money, family, and having children. How they see their life progressing. All the boring, but important stuff. And you should look at how they treat other people too. Take your time. You will get over it, if you concentrate and building good things in your own life.
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  2. That's OK. As long as you understand yourself and respect others you'll be OK. Not everybody either wants or needs security. That's just how it is.
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  3. Some people think that they need a relationship to be complete. And they may be so arrogant to think they can change you into the person they really want. Hormones, and societal pressure are pretty powerful. We live in a society where if you are a woman and not hooked up to a man, you are seen as abnormal. Some people are convinced they need another person to complete them. As the poet said, "people quietly live lives of desperation." And many young women might actually fear that. So to them, every man is a lifesaver, a means to an end, rather than someone to be loved for their own sake. That's why you really need to get to know them well and get to know yourself well too. If you can't have serious conversations, about money, life, and understand what motivates them, move on.
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  4. All contemplation is an autopsy., but even scientists have biases and beliefs. And self-knowledge is a life long pursuit. Or more lyrically, a string of episodes that can only be fully appreciated as we evolve to better understand it. And your comment reminds me of the observation of a writer known as Ramsey Dukes, who uploaded a series of short talks on Polarisation in society. And his third talk was about Objective vs Subjective, and he argues that the only difference between the two is whether society applauds your efforts in a formal way. In short, objective vs Subjective is a false dichotomy. Even when studying say, bacteria in a petri dish, your initial observations cannot help but be mostly subjective. Say back in 1931,when a veterinary pathologist first discovered the sars virus amongst turkeys in a poultry farm. You would have had to publish your findings in an a academic paper acoording to the norms of your profession. In that way, peer review of your meyhods found them acceptable, you would be published and be recognised by your profession. But what if you had written your findings in a personal diary, and you had said, "I looked at this virus I had never seen before, and I could feel my heart skip a beat with excitement. I think I may have found what was killing the birds. Hooray!" What if he had submitted this and other observations in a similar vein to an academic journal? Not only would it be rejected, but news might get out into his professional community that he was at least 'eccentric', if not crazy, and his reputation would suffer. Why? Because societal norms define what is objective and subjective, and both are highly contextual. But as in this example both presentations are true, but the subjective truth suffers when it is approached in an objective way. And the irony is, that the subjective was the foundation of the objective truth that was peer reviewed and published in a scientific journal. In academia we are taught to lionise the objective, and disparage the subjective. But in reality, objective truth is subjective truth but repackaged and edited. Dukes recommrnds that we should engage with our subjective truths in ways that reflect their personal meaning to oneself. The examined life should be approached in the same way, because it is the act of trying to understand it that creates meaning. This is why great literature like "Madame Bovary" and Marcel Proust's "In Search of Lost Time" exemplify the power of the subjective and ways to engage with it which gives it meaning, and ourselves self-knowledge, and wisdom too. This is why the best literature is antithetical to human complacency. Philosophy as taught seems to ignore the subjective, but only because so often it isn't examined or tested against reality. In truth, we're all in Plato's Cave with regard to ourselves. We have to acquire the habit of honest self-reflection throughout our lives to know ourselves, and see the light.
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  5. Wrong answer. People cheat because they don't know what they really want, and don't know themselves very well.
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  6. Why are you blaming yourself? It's part of being human to get the muddy end of the stick sometimes. All you can do is try again, slowly. Just take it easy and really get to know them. And know what exactly you are looking for in a partner.
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  7. You make it sound like it's so easy to leave. You wouldn't say that if you knew why they wanted to be in a long-term relationship in the first place. Not just because they say they love you. What about loneliness, security, boredom, fear, social status, etc. Etc? Women have feet in two worlds - liberation or tradition. They get mixed messages about their worth, and still face misogyny. So think have a man will complete them. Some want children more than anything. Some want the wedding, but have no clue what they want after that. Get to know your prospective partners really well, and you will find out very much who they really are. Don't let the limerence or sexual desire mislead you. Take the time to get to know who they really are, and what they really want. Then get to know yourself too. Then nobody can be misled by not knowing what the deal really is. If anything, if they're not the right one, at least you should be good friends. Good luck.
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  8. No problem. You need sdome with an attention span longer than a goldfish.
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