Comments by "Leahflower" (@leahflower9924) on "HealthyGamerGG" channel.

  1. I love how he mentions the impact of invalidating environments it took me like 30 years to realize the impact of invalidation and negative feedback
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  2. I think the problem I have with this video is there is maybe too much black and white thinking like rich people or hot females have problems too but any way you slice it there is a clear advantage to being hot or rich and just because hot and rich people have problems doesn't mean they don't have that clear advantage anymore
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  3. Yeah I always say pretty people say looks aren't that important and rich people say money isn't that important
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  4. He made me laugh when he said he disagrees but he's probably wrong because it's probably his ego lol
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  5. Can we get a better look at that iron cross tattoo lol
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  6. That is what got me into psychology was the fact I felt fundamentally wrong
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  7. Ahh jimmy reminds me too much of my old school irish family where insults and some physical abuse was perfectly normal
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  8. Wow I almost laughed when he said the loneliness is stronger than the social anxiety because I was a shut in basically but the loneliness sent me into wanting to date and yup first guy I dated I married and he's a narcissist
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  9.  @j.2512  I think part of the problem is that bullying can be traumatic and some people never get over it some people end their lives much later in life and most of their self hatred started before age 18, but either way there's an extra element of trauma when people intentionally hurt you and they can walk away and leave you with carrying that burden
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  10. This guy never did anything to anyone and everyone just hated on him it's not fair
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  11. He's very human he seems like he has a good heart same with Tim Fletcher he's a Canadian pastor but he talks a lot about trauma and shame
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  12. That's what happened with that Jennifer pan or whatever her name is and then she killed her parents
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  13. ​ @larion2336  how are you telling her what she's into or attracted to is BS
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  14. I call my feelings about myself and the world rapid cycling I can love or hate back and forth like fifty times within a few minutes also I'm more unstable early in the day and tend to be calm at the end of the day
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  15. ​ @conkadonk4976  you forgot about how a lot of borderlines freeze mode with dissociation and fawn
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  16. A lot of people say they don't need people though and they are proud of themselves but to me it's more of a schizoid response like people are too much trouble... I always want to connect with people but my trauma made me split like borderlines and I can't handle people but I'm not gonna act proud like I don't need people because I do
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  17. Me: hey y'all scapegoated me and I can tell you specific times I was abused My family: sorry you feel that way
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  18. Wow did anyone ever listen to music like Janis Joplin? Lol she had tons of songs about being a lonely woman and longing for stuff, and I'm a lonely woman
    7
  19. ​ @someusernameinhere correct in psychology especially psychoanalytic theory there is a lot about object relations and objectifying and it has little to do with gender sometimes projections are gendered but overall you can turn anyone into an object
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  20. ​ @elliottblecker9020  beautiful people have more friends get more for free gets more benefits of the doubt the list goes on
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  21. ​ @Rosicrucian999  in high school I feel like it's clear someone has a distorted view of themselves when they are constantly being asked out or hit on and they still feel ugly, but when you don't get that much attention that's where it's easy to get dysmorphic and not really know how good you look or how bad you look
    7
  22. He's got an iron cross tattoo lol
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  23. Sounds like projection lol
    6
  24. My problem with male incels is that they talk all innocently like oh I opened up here and there and got shot down and I'm just a nice guy and then when asked what kinda woman they go for it's always about looks and it's an above average looking female they go for, as a female I got rejected also but if I did go after the top dog guy I would've just felt foolish anyways
    6
  25. Normal is boring I'm gonna wave my freak flag
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  26. The way he summed up abusive dynamics was brilliant
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  27. ​ @PetyrC90  wow as a female that was never my experience
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  28. I didn't really ever think about that but that happened to me I wasn't standard ugly if such a thing exists but I was the cute kid who got awkward during puberty then got tall and skinnier so people said oh you look nice but then my skin got worse dermatitis and I felt like a leper I got skin meds and skin is clear and in my 20s some people said I'm pretty, it was a total mind F for me and I did get rejected more than once so yeah I give up
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  29. Imagine being an average person who likes to be artistic and kind of lazy and you have average goals and then you get stuck with tiger parents like this guy
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  30. Kind of same with me but luckily my issues were reversible I was the most average white American girl and then I got horrible skin issues in high school and weight fluctuations stupid parents didn't realize I had hormonal imbalance because I was a teen but I know exactly what you mean when you felt like males made you feel like how dare you exist in their presence
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  31.  @Dave_of_Mordor  working on your inner child doesn't do anything are you kidding? What does doing stuff like work hobbies etc do half the time people use it as a distraction in order to not work on themselves
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  32. As an American the c word is kinda brutal for my ears but I know it's more normal in those other anglo countries
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  33. How do you know she doesn't feel the same way? Uh because we would be dating lol gotcha doc
    4
  34. Same with me I cared too much starting in high school and everyone in my family shamed me for it even some friends and I had body dysmorphia so I guess I had ocd traits but I felt so bad that I just starting acting like I didn't care and guess what happened yup family sent me to therapy and I was told I'm severely depressed
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  35. Even before school shooters there was the movie Heathers
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  36. ​ @Zionswasd  but you still have an advantage as an attractive person of course attractive people have issues also but imagine what it's like for someone to dismiss you or deem you unworthy for not looking good
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  37. I blame it on our prehistoric adapted brain I think self protection for the brain and survival was put as top priority above having fun or taking risks that could make our lives more fulfilling
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  38. ​ @selensewar  those are usually signs of trauma you don't necessarily need to have PTSD to have small traumas that made you feel detached, for me rejection alone made me completely shut down
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  39. ​ @DanEngell I was gonna say that sounds familiar but that's Beverly hillbillies right? Lol
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  40. I'm 38 now but I had a similar experience I was an all American looking girl and became ugly duckling at 14 then in my 20s got some compliments I mentioned this in another video but it's a total mind F right I actually made this comment on the body dysmorphia video with that swedish girl I suffer from that problem as well
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  41. I still remember that boy when we were 13 and he said he didn't want to go to the middle school dance with me and I remember I almost begged him and I was like nope I can't beg don't do it but I'll never forget he rejected me I thought I was ok looking and he was the "weird kid" I felt like a pariah ever since
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  42. If you can't go into fight or flight you usually go into freeze or fawn
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  43. ​ @NealBurkard-ut1oo he's got a great personality
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  44. Did Dr. K pretend he didn't understand the joke or what lol he's a dork sometimes
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  45. She probably should've asked dr.k about narc abuse
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  46. Me too and I'm white is this a common problem for mostly white females lol
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  47. ​ @timstarmer5242  as a female with body dysmorphia I agree with you because I was taken somewhat seriously with my image issues but I noticed guys tended not to be taken seriously when they hated their looks or something about themselves
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  48. She went from making her brother seem like the problem in the family to admitting the problem started with the dad
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  49. So I'm 5'10" female and I was laughed at in highschool during school pictures I was in the back line with all guys
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  50. It used to make me mad when my body dysmorphia was bad that people acted like it's not ok to make comparisons or get jealous. I get extreme comparing and jealousy can be self destructive but a certain level of it should be allowed because I ended up having to hate myself for my "bad thoughts"
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  51. I have add too but when you have trauma brain you'll have add and fatigue all the time and I'm more into staying up late and sleeping in and when I go to work early and see people jogging I want to punch them
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  52. There's a lot of daydreaming that's actually dissociating escape to fantasy magical thinking or limerence I was told this is all actually defense mechanisms for our ego so we don't fall apart
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  53. ​ @rickst3r  maybe she's using intermittent reinforcement with you and testing you to see if you'll beg for her attention
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  54. So if you take the action of working it's arrogant to expect pay as the outcome
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  55. I feel like it's how society functions too because if people never compared themselves they might also not conform or keep themselves in check to be the good sheeple they should be 🐑
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  56. You mean because they reciprocated the feelings lol
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  57. Definitely
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  58. That's how most schizoid or avoidant personalities are
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  59.  @cathleenmoyle1476  I like to be by myself but you need some type of company or even need to hear voices from TV or radio or you can start losing your mind like people do in solitary confinement
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  60. You never heard of children of God what lol guess you weren't a River Phoenix fan like I was
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  61. ​ @jsantiago1145  facts don't care about your feelings! Lol
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  62. Yeah I had met a kid like him at work and I asked simple questions and he couldn't fully answer but no clear sign of a problem so I thought maybe he's always high or something
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  63. ​ @morningcoffee2471  why have you never dated
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  64. Except every baby male or female is completely attuned to the mom until like age 2 or 3 the importance of the dad comes later
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  65. It hurts me to learn more and more about this psychological stuff and know my parents "don't believe in this stuff"
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  66. The problem I have with this is that you can become obsessed with looks and what they can do for you when you are or feel ugly so it can still be harder for so called ugly people than for pretty people if that makes sense
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  67. ​ @monmusuaficionado2132 yeah somewhat similar for me I went through some of my worst times when I was 16-17 and then I used fantasy and limerence to survive and then eventually I had no idea who the F I was
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  68. I'm no slouch I work seven days a week sometimes with pet sitting but I'm not a busy body and it bothers me that busy bodies and people pleasers act like that's the healthy way to be
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  69. Same with me and then the worse it got for me the more my parents went off on me so that didn't help
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  70. My parents were threatened by anger and sadness which was weird for me because my mom had an anger problem but she was also a people pleaser so she was excused for the anger because she was always trying to please people so if she was angry it must be other people's fault
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  71. I don't know is what I would say too as a female and I didn't know I was splitting and dissociating all the time so idk can be a sign of detachment from yourself
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  72. I was just thinking of all my body issues and how I felt ugly and inferior all these years and if I was stuck on my own with maybe just animals like jungle book I don't know if I could feel ugly I might not have a mirror and I don't know I'm ugly if I can't compare my looks
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  73. That would be funny if there was an addiction to always wearing an actual mask I guess that would go along with germaphobia
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  74. From his description I would say he's right her super hot self wants to stay in the friend zone I find it shocking lol
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  75. Looks like young Bruce Lee lol
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  76. Sounds good in theory but not really true
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  77. ​ @jamesbryson9542 I'm a female and I found your comment very validating because pretty privilege isn't just what you can get or get away with it actually does make people feel more sympathy for you and they'll put more effort into you even if you're difficult
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  78.  @kaczok1985  yup and a lot of the trauma goes into the unconscious and rules a person in adulthood
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  79.  @bobograndman  good point I'm spiraling right now
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  80. As an undiagnosed borderline I find it easier not to make a choice or settle on something because once I settle I start thinking I should've done something else
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  81. ​@Lyle E it's usually people that got normal amounts of attention and praise that don't base their worth on praise or someone wanting you try being deprived or rejected and you'll find your worth is very much wrapped up with it
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  82. ​ @mouse9831  I kinda had the same thing happen details were different but in the end same outcome, I still think about it and I feel stabbing pains and have to block it out
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  83. They do the videos based on your Google searches
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  84. Exactly I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed that
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  85. What's with Asian parents wanting their kid to play piano or violin
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  86. Sometimes it's true especially with personality disorders
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  87. He made me laugh when he said you do you haters gonna hate
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  88. Is Felix a french name I only know the cat
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  89. I could be wrong but I think when people are single it depends how genuinely happy someone is about it I think the psychological issue is when someone is single because they don't think they can get someone or don't deserve someone or don't want to hurt or get hurt
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  90. I think kids have to largely develop their skills and figure out money and figure out independence before they graduate and then they easily transition but a lot of us still feel like total children senior year or we even regress because we don't want to live in the adult world kind of like the song I don't want to grow up
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  91. Your story reminds me of a Matthew McConaughey commercial I saw where he looked like he was traveling in his van or camper can't remember but I think he had bongos and at some point he was probably about to smoke and he talked like he was in dazed and confused and he's like how do you wanna start livin' and I'm a woman but I got jealous I wanted to be him lol
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  92. I related to therapy was good for feeling like you could talk to a non judgemental mom
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  93. I heard once kids had to attune to their parents and the parents mental state in order for survival but the parent doesn't need to attune to the kid for survival so usually it's the parent that's out of touch or robotic and shut off their authentic self and they think it's the kid that has the problem
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  94. Trust me bro I'm robotic therefore I'm rational all I had to do was annihilate authenticity and silence most of my humanity and I don't regret it unless maybe I'm dying lol
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  95. ​ @mindyann8903 I'm female I don't even look that different than her and I don't know why they said lower than average I think she's a cute swedish girl which isn't the point either but it's funny I think she's cute when I don't look that different and I thought and sometimes still think I'm disgusting
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  96. Just because I use a kitty face emoji doesn't mean I'm passive aggressive 😅
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  97. ​ @watertoad didn't Freud say that too or something similar I remember learning the unconscious is more important and controls us way more than the conscious mind and i thought I got that from freud
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  98. ​ @evadebruijn yeah that's why freud believed in drugs hypnosis and psychoanalysis
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  99. ​ @connornicholas8628  I had dysmorphia about every detail about myself even the way my feet looked in certain sneakers lol, but as a female I had issues over getting too tall I was close to 5'10" at 16 and I had nightmares I would keep getting taller
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  100. ​ @tirushone6446  I don't know how many people have dysmorphia over their height only but it is common I think as at least part of the dysmorphia
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  101.  @HoseTheBeast  I know iron cross is a German military symbol but what do you think a bald headed American guy with an iron cross tattoo means I know bikers like them too but some of them are brotherhood
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  102. Is she the hippie type lol
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  103. I agree she hates on her brother a little much but she seemed right about her dad
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  104. You should've made a move
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  105. If your kid has a problem with you you should get to the root of it and let them say whatever they want if a kid knows they can say everything they feel they'll feel better as long as you can have conflict followed by repair it's fine my parents can't handle conflict properly so I had to bottle everything up it made me bitter and I want to go no contact
    1
  106. I'm a female and I feel like I would've been drawn to hanging out with this guy lol I might need some more mental help
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  107. There's a song like that by the band sloppy seconds I'm not gonna say song title lol but the guy can't get a girl to like him so people start thinking he's gay
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  108. He can barely get his thoughts out he's lucky he's cute I guess
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  109.  @lukefisch9483  yeah you're right I didn't think about that
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  110. That's from freud you can't just regurgitate what is the socially acceptable information you have to explore your true feelings
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  111. ​ @Exalted-  no don't say hi as a customer with social anxiety I don't want employees constantly saying hi to me it makes me wanna run out of the store
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  112. ​ @agent006nb  I think coping mechanisms can be narcissistic they just don't necessarily indicate NPD
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  113. ​ @2nerC9  how come no one is differentiating between narcissistic tendencies or coping and NPD the disorder means your false self takes over and you killed off your true self so someone just presenting traits can switch on and off narcissism and a NPD can't
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  114. He kind of over explains
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  115. Funny how what she sees as a curse I would've seen as a blessing like I wouldn't necessarily want people to be pushy but I would've loved the ability to be able to reject tons of people and know I could be picky and have endless options
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  116. Everytime he acts like he knows better are the times where he seems stupid to me, his leftism makes me wanna go more to the right
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  117. ​ @burnhitsforlove3317  modern society is demeaning in general
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  118. Supposedly when we have negative self talk and a self defeating voice it's not us it's from the external environment and we internalized it that's what I learned from my psychology degree lol basically it's called identifying as a bad object
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  119. This felt like a comedy sketch
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  120. Well society promotes materialism and buying stuff you don't need so he fits right in
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  121. ​ @EmperorDionx  as a female I agree I was rejected when I was 13 and I never forgot it. I looked at it as the first milestone of my self hatred I liked myself for the most part until that moment it got worse after that moment.
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  122. ​ @shaniyehia8730 it's weird when you become an unattractive girl how you can see how much males really do just value physical appearance I know it works the other way around too but I feel like females will leave room for ugly guys to be around them even as friends or they feel bad for them but nope males will make you feel like you should off yourself
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  123. That is how my life has been for the last twenty five years everything I want seems out of my reach and everything I deal with is stuff I don't want to deal with
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  124. I look at it as a deprivation thing I think if you know you are at least somewhat liked by people and have a chance than you can focus on quality but if you are already deprived then you focus on just getting someone to say you have someone or just to feel validated you tell yourself if I can get someone to want me I will feel worthy
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  125. Good one 😅
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  126. ​ @kamizwr2082  maybe they ask if the people want to be in the thumbnail and my guess is she would say no
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  127. That hit me when I watched the Matrix
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  128. Yeah I never saw the positive aspects of rejection
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  129. ​ @universal_stupidity  I prefer this woman to sweet Anita I was getting tired of listening to Anita say over and over everyone wants to F her and they don't respect her enough
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  130. The thing is kids automatically trust their parents because they have to they might doubt them but in general they trust or else they'll feel like an unsafe orphan all the time
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  131. Ok so you loved her unselfishly got it lol
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  132. Interesting how she laughed when he said he got terrible grades and no friends was it really that funny
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  133. You have time if someone else is funding your lifestyle if your parents cut you off you have to figure out everything all at once
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  134. It took me forever to realize what dr. K said in the beginning about being seen and in social situations feels like actual danger to my mind
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  135. I think this is part of the problem with people like myself who didn't know much about attachment theory or family systems theory so my answer was to essentially run away leave it all behind and get married and then I felt like I was haunted by my past and couldn't make anything right and now that I know all this stuff most things make sense
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  136. the dad acted like Carson got in the way of Zack getting his emotional needs met I mean Carson is a handful I'm sure but I feel like they let him be the person that takes the fall for why the family has division
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  137. ​ @Dave_of_Mordor  most of the stuff is some Freudian level inner child work, doing stuff like cleaning constantly and a million hobbies doesn't change anything
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  138. ​ @AnAwakenedPanda  I don't necessarily think they have a responsibility except to themselves because they should cherish their lives otherwise if they are into death drive ok but when they have kids then yeah they need to do the work to get healthy
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  139. ​ @mary96houseoffun  your mom sounds like a codependent which leads to bully enabling she isn't much better than the bully
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  140. Yeah I agree the violence against children in the name of cultural norms is BS but a lot of societies would run on shame or fear so maybe that's where it fits in
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  141. ​ @AndrewHimself  pay it forward
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  142. Do you mean BDD.. BPD is borderline
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  143. Imagine she has those problems and those ticks and she wasn't that attractive then no guy would be making your type of comments lol
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  144. Yeah Freud knew this didn't he lol he mentioned primary and healthy narcissism
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  145. Yeah that's usually default mode for dysfunctional parents and standard for any good narcissist
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  146. I cried for myself and Dr. K in the beginning
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  147. No no no I'm really into metal
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  148. But most narcissists aren't even that insightful and they don't bother trying to get help unless if it's to validate everyone else is wrong
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  149. Making pie and needing someone to like your pie is a path to codependency lol
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  150. Case closed lol
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  151.  @alientooth9125  wow I'm the same with music too
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  152. Like and uh
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  153. ​ @BillClinton228  right?! It amazes me how many people don't realize most of human history was hunter gatherer or tribal or clans and small village life and even our diets are based on that which is why meat and vegetables are now known to help maintain a lean body etc..
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  154.  @Volkbrecht  I'm glad to see so many non deluded realistic people in the comment section
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  155. ​ @recuerdos2457  well we're stuck on baby level a lot you know that right we split like babies split
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  156. I remember my friend had standard OCD or whatever you call it and I had the body dysmorphia version of the disorder and I'm convinced we bonded over it and it kept us together as friends
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  157. Lol
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  158. I'm not republican but I have republican family members and him knowing almost all of them are wrong is so ridiculous he would say the same about a religious person probably, like they can't turn around and say the same about atheists and leftists
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  159. That doesn't mean it's good to be alone though lol I have borderline or PTSD and I'm a nightmare and I married a narcissist and left but I still believe in relationships and love even Freud believed that real love is the antidote to mental disturbances and love is the opposite of the death drive
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  160. ​ @valdasdr8432 lol 😅
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  161. ​ @envynoir yes exactly
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  162. ​ @QuiksilverX7 I'm a woman and I don't fully agree with the original comment like there's some truth to it but being alone can be horrible too
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  163. ​ @brou49 I think that's natural
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  164. ​ @asiadp why do you think it's all desperate dudes I'm a woman who had a full blown relationship and kids and I believe in love still lol I'm not gonna be like other schizoid robots and act like I don't need a man 😅
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  165. So you have tiger parents
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  166. Hey it doesn't have to be as bad as his if it leaves a stong impact or is repeated little traumas it can really affect your brain
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  167. That makes sense we all have an inner child
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  168. ​@KC you tend to more authentic when younger or at least you can try on identities or situations without much consequences when you have to work and pay for everything one mistake and you could end up homeless trying to hold everything up all the time kills authenticity
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  169. I agree except I feel like when kids are brutally honest with their parents the parents shouldn't act threatened because it can be very hard for a kid to say real things to their parents or call them out and sometimes it comes out the wrong way but if you're the parent then man up or woman up and realize your kid was completely at your mercy
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  170. ​ @Kriliska  that usually has to do with family of origin and then you could add on peers and institutions your stuck being a part of, usually it's the parents that actually shut down your authentic self or tell you you need to be something so you end up internalizing and turning on yourself your family needs to allow you to navigate your feelings in order to be healthy it's not the kids job
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  171. ​ @darania1  fake nerdy guys lol
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  172. For me hyper vigilance and trauma that keeps me in survival mode makes it so I'm not consistent I also can't focus most of the time
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  173. I think because anger gets associated with destruction which I don't necessarily agree with I feel like suppression is actually what makes the anger dangerous at some point but this makes sense how depression can be anger turned inwards because a depressed person is much less threatening therefore more acceptable
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  174. I learned a lot of intrusive thoughts and OCD traits are put in us we often aren't born with it maybe a little of it is nature, but it's sad because I suffer from it and it's like I can't get out of my own way
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