Comments by "Sammy" (@mrsTraveller64) on "FOX 29 Philadelphia"
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when I was about 12 years old, I had a crush on a 15 year old boy who lived near me, I used to spy on him with my friends who all of them had a crush on him too! We were quite childish and foolish walking past him just to get a glimpse of him, shouting his name...One day he had enough, he had his friend grab me and then he kicked me so hard on my leg, and said to me LEAVE ME ALONE!!! (he had told me to stop calling his name several times before!)I got a HUGE bruise that I never showed my parents, it took weeks for it to disappear, I never, ever bothered him again!! I knew it was my own fault and crying to my parents had been SO STUPID, todays kids aren't taught to take any responsibility or blame, they are all taught that they are NOT GUILTY to anything, they can say and do what they want to others, but no one can do revenge to them, I prefer how it was in my youth,in the 70's. I DESERVED THAT BRUISE!!!
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This is the thing; in a group with19- 21 kids and three teachers, of wich three kids are aggressive,violent,unpredictable but in between they are the warmest sweetest most helpfull and kind...teachers work three shifts so in the morning there is only two teachers and also in the late afternoon. In the group is also two kids who still wets themselves from time to time wich means those times in the morning or afternoon ONE teacher is left alone with twenty kids while the other one is in the bathroom changing and washing the wet kid,then trying to find him dry cloathes because AGAIN his parents has not packed extra cloathes for him..then one of the unpredictable kids wants to play a boardgame with another kid who does NOT want to play becaise the unpredictable kid gets hysteric and violent if he doesn't win!! So now the unpredictable kid hits the not wiling kid in the face and caused a bad noseblood, you leave the naked kid who you can't manage to find cloathes for,and you run to get an ice-pack to the bleeding child...this is a normal day in many kindergarten groups and many times NOTHING helps to get the aggressive unpredictable kids to stop behaving bad UNTIL one of the other kids finally starts to hit back!!!! the teachers methods are not enough, no soft Montessori-talking or time-outs or "play alone,we can't have you with the other kids until the third teacher arrives" or "do this puzzle,no one else has managed to do it, you'll be the first!!" and nothing what the teachers try helps, ONLY thing that DOES help is when one or two of the other kids jumps on him and beats him up once and for all, and then you say"well it wasn't the right thing to do(even though you wanna give a prize to the brave kid who stepped up..) but now you see that if you hurt the others, they might hurt you back and to avoid that: DON'T HURT THEM"!!!!! And also: when the third teacher arrives,the phone rings and it's one of the parents of the unpredictable kids who is angry about their kid got a bluemark yesterday and they demand to know where it came from?! And we wanna scream "it came from one of the other kids who finally stepped up against your brat"!!!! But we don't say it in that way,we have to speak nice and calm and explain in a very kind tone that we will talk to the kid who did it and explain to him that he can't hit back, ever, because it's against the rules...
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first find out WHY your child has the bruise; did your child do something first that triggered the other kid to defend himself?! My son was beeing harrased by another boy in his new school for a few weeks, when the other boy started to get more kids on his side to harass my son, my son decided it was enough. He hit the boy ONCE in the face, so hard, that the boy got a bad nose-bleed, then my son who is the kindest and sweetest, took the boy to the toilet, cleaned his face and stopped the blood with cold water. He said he was sorry that he hit him so hard, much too hard, but the boy didn't blame him,he said it was okay, he understood. He stopped harassing my son after that,and so did his friends, my son was in martial arts, a brown belt at 12, and had much power in his hands...the boy obviously didn't tell his parents, I was waiting for a call all evening..
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