Comments by "Tomas Vrabec" (@tomasvrabec1845) on "KaiserBauch"
channel.
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Here where I a gay man told people that I want kids.. they ask why and I say: 1. So that I am not alone in old age, 2. So that someone can take care of me when I am old,3. So that I am a part of some innate community (wider family often is).
They said that's stupid and even evil. Then proceeded to school me regarding why you should have kids... Stating thing like affording to be able to go with them on Holliday's and so on as necessary.
It just seemed weird to me, and from those points on clear to me, that it's not even tied to being liberal or being LGBT or being a man or a woman... None of that matters as each and every group went on about money, then reflecting on their own struggles where their own parents were no enough- mostly financially...
To me that's weird. I am a Slovak and I grew up in largely very traditional family full of many catholics and military personnel (yet, neither care much wther I am gay or not- rare but they don't.. ). And even though I am a gay man, through their traditional mindsets (mixed with progressive views), even I still want kids and a family l, and aim in life "to be old grandpa that farms, gardens, helps with grandkids and all"... As I honestly don't see point in living and life without that goal.
I might get excited at the thought of travels, especially as I love vernacular architecture, folklore and love learning and exploring these cultural parts from around the world... But even then my mind wonders to "but what then when I am old?".
Even my damn catholic grandparents push towards me having kids, if possible (mind you), and they don't care if it's biological or adopted.
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Me a gay man from Slovakia whom always wanted to have kids and family.
I did my degree and live here. I talked a lot with people my age (around 19-23) about kids. I mean a lot of us were at the end of Education, live was discussed, goals ext.
A lot of the time I was asked what reason do I have for wanting kids. ... Nothing was a good enough answer.
To not be alone when I am old is apparently bad and even rude, making me seem like someone needy and controlling. To carry on tradion (I was raised to understand nature around me, explore folk, arts). That was apparently too nationalistic (bearing in mind that I also like to study other cultures, their arts and traditions -by no means calling mine better than others). Saying to have someone to love and care for - too needy and selfish.
There just was no good answer.
To a certain Irony when it comes to relationships as a whole rather than kids. I was one of the last to be in a relationship, but many of them already had several. They often expressed frustration over the couple culture where cheating, people not being interested or Changing their mid was very frequent.
Somehow I was called, almost universally as the "person who is likely to get into a relationship and then stay in it forever". So far that's working out 3 years into a relationship. All the people I know already changed atleast one... Apart from a German girl with a Slovak boyfriend who were together for over 5 years.
- so I concluded that these is a strong overlap between what makes it right to have kids and then ... If you don't look towards having then , preservation ext... Your relationship goal becomes much more loose and less Couple Goal oriented.
The few couples that I know and we're indeed together for few years are the only ones that keep striving towards housing ownership, more so those who aim to have some kids.
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I feel this way to deep being Eastern European in Western Europe... Britain.
It's weird for me to see people compare the gypsies to black people in the US. I come from a country which is one of the top in the world, has an extreme equality index by any measure. There is little gun violence and almost no incidents of police killing or abusing them. The state frequently gave them newly built housing blocks which then got destroyed by the people who lived there. Then promoted miriad of different ways to give them housing such as Build Yourself - materials and skilled help free. Most of the issue spans from lack of education for many reasons - not just provisions but refusal by the people themselves to gain primary education ext. It's a complex mess but a very different one to US.
Also due to its commie past and post Imperial oppression mindset (the nation was oppressed by another ruling ethnic group)...
The old are leaning to Russia due to the commies, whilst being bad... Being the first to care ... A little bit but not that much (they seemed to be good because they redistributed wealth that was already here). They reject US due to Imperialism and cite ... Beside conspiracies actually some sensible points such as Cultural conversion, Forced ideas ext. Whilst the way they put it is BS. The concepts of these lies is in truth.. that there is such influence and that it comes here like a big packaging.
At the same time I can see why the young often abandon the older, traditional stuff seeking western benefits... But they abandon everything from traditional symbol, car for the land as a nation, alter the language faster and faster over time. Start to see our history through US lenses.
Eh .. there was a Gu of our ethnicity whom managed to get a noble title, learn languages, get big so today. Make his way into French imperial government and administration system which was extremely racists agains any foreigners including us, managed to become administrator in Madagascar ext.
A lot of great achievements... He gets called enslavor and that's the end. No strive for determination. The folk hero whom stole from rich and gave to the poor is just a thief. All of the religion and traditions around it are bad.... And so on and so on.
This split is then overlayed by another US export... Trumpist Populism and boom. You have a country split 50/50 pro Rus and pro US.
I think both sides are somewhat idiotic and personally I would chose progress with adapted tradion. Adapted tradion is still Ours, it's still unique to us, we can relate to where it came from here and what our current values are. A thread that ties this society together. After all what does not adapt dies, what adapts too fast might undergo either a shock or just become something completely different from the original... Which basically is death of the culture.
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@mitonaarea5856 I'm the context of history:.
Germanic tribes migrated out of the region, slavic tribes settled there. Replacing the population.
Afterwards, Germanic people conquered, assimilated and crusaded the region, whilst gradually resettling and mixing with the Slavs on the region.
Later Prussia, an originally Slavo-Baltic but akin turned into Germanic through conquest and crusades became pomôcke of East Germany.
Hence, whilst yes Germanic people were in the region prior, they moved out and were replaced by Slavs. Afterwards, the Germans gained the territory back but didn't replace the population, they assimilate it and culturally conquered it. Largely akin to how Franks ended up giving name to France and Italy basis in culture and Politics, but most of its population remained Latin and celtic.
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Interesting.
I grew up very traditionally in extended family. They are all very traditionally minded people but simultaneously are progressives. I am gay, they don't mind, they still want me to have kids (they just, some of them, partially turn their head when they realise it's gotta be adopted- but they go "oh well"). I am talking about an Eastern European Slavic traditional family with many in the military, many catholics (actual church goers), and a fair amount of elderly including great grandparents, siblings of grandparents, my grandma's aunt....
Yet... They don't care much for race per say (if you marry someone non white it's fine, just raise your kids with the home culture in mind- even when you live abroad, just so the kids are aware). They don't care for me being gay... They still want me to have kids (they actually push my Gay brother to accept himself because he is tooo religious and does not accept himself... Litteraly you have 70+ old catholics that go to church tell a 30yo man to judge shut up, accept he is gay and move on.... He won't)
I want kids, always did, and I knew I was gay since age of 8/9.
I moved to England and when we talk about kids with anyone... The answers are exactly as you put it. It does not matter if they are gay, or straight individuals or couples... The answers is exactly as you put it.
There are few women I know (we are all around 20-25) and these women are some of the few that actually are in a long term relationship. Most are non British (but moved here before the age of 10, thought visited home often), but some are British. These women actually want kids. When in their late teens they said they feel really weird urge to have a child, they could not explain too much why but they do. They are some of the few women whom seem firm on staying in one relationship even if it's not always peachy. And as they grew older (me included) we all started to give up on this child-having goals to some extent. Mainly by concentrating on provision on housing, and by lowering our desire for the amount (one said 5, then jokes about her v*** after, not she wants atkeast 2.... I went down to atkeast 2 too). But the urdmge is still there.
Btw... With me, and it's strange and I dno how to describe it. Being a fairly conscious kid (both of my environment and of myself). I figured that I am more attracted to men somewhat simultaneously with my desire to adopt. I wanted to be a father iné day as early as 7/8 years old. I have also figured I am gay around 8/9 years old.... And I have never gelf any desire to have my own biological kids and always felt the urge to adopt instead. Like... I was 9 and I already decided I do not want my own but to adopt.... Weird, but why not. I just sorta thought that well if I am gay (as I only fully accepted it around 13/14) the. I suppose the urge to adopt makes sense biologically rather than to reproduce on my own.
... Only later discovering that many animals that do show gay behaviour do seem to have a tendency to adopt.
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