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Holger P.
Charisma on Command
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Comments by "Holger P." (@holger_p) on "Bored Eyes: A Social Mistake That Make People Dislike You" video.
At least, to use it, you must apply them intuitivly and not by thinking.
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It's not a situation you should think about talking a lot. Think about behaving like a deaf or somebody from abroud unable to speak english. Actually, people who listen and don't talk much, are considered sympathic most often. It's like the barkeeper situation. They don't talk a lot, they just listen.
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No, it's enough if you want to go one step up, in the scale of attention. From beeing invisible to the notice "you have been at the party".
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Waiting, Listening, also beeing skeptical, but in no way defensive. But obviously you want to completly replace your words with body language, you are not serious.
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You are expecting a baby.
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Well put. But may be this is exactly the same. Like in method acting. The difference from beeing to pretending is mentally small.
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Yes, on dating. If you want to have a kiss, crossed arms are preventing it. I would also not recommend it, but what crossed arms definitly do not express is insecurity. Even if you want to be defensive, you know what you want.
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You cannot force it, but you can develop it. As more you try it with your frontal cortex (the brain) as more routine you will get, as less you will use the brain next time, and by time it's becoming your "personality". It's like car driving. In first lesson you think about the pedals, after a year, you do not notice you step on pedals at all. The "be yourself" is fine, but some feel dominated and want to change it. An existing submissive (too polite) yourself can be repaired. "trying to be the alpha" as said in the video - is about the same as working on your career.
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The preferred way is to do it with body language. While talking to one, you can say "hello" or "I see you" with just short eye contact to a new person. With just a small guesture of you hand (like the stop sign) you can signal "wait a second".
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