Comments by "Django" (@django3422) on "Scott Galloway Crushes the Anti-Trans People" video.

Something my sister pointed out to me... the phrase "toxic masculinity" gets misused by writers so damn much and it sounds like an attack on men. A way of pointing at them and saying "you, you're the problem". But the actual full phrase is something like "the toxic expectations and pressures of masculinity on men"... and it's one of those things that really changes the whole meaning, it's actually something men are a victim of, it's about helping free men from these angry, repressed pigeonholes that we get put in.
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I think that some of this is your own interpretation, rather than a dark reflection. Saying it's about "listen to me or else" is presuming the intention of the individual. If I'm trying to de-escalate a potentially violent situation there's a good chance that I'm dealing with someone really in the mindset to listen to reason right now. So some of that de-escalation is physical, such as how I position myself between them and their intended target, how I hold myself to appear in their eyes etc. I'm not thinking "listen to me or else". I'm thinking and trying to project this idea that "I'm not just gonna let you do this". And I think it works a lot of the time, because it forces them to start reasoning in their head. That suddenly what seemed like easy pickings is now going to be hard, it's not what they wanted at all. Before, when they were too angry and too sure of their own capabilities, they wouldn't listen. Now they're re-assessing their capabilities and that's sapping their anger. Now they're starting to calm down because they WANT to find a way out of this. You could argue that the end result is the same. Maybe that's true. But rather than me putting myself out there with an intent of "I could kill you so listen to me or else" I'm trying to do so with the intent of "I will protect and I won't let you push people around". In an ideal world, none of it would be necessary. But we don't. My town has a big problem with unpredictable, aggressive and often violent skagheads. I've interceded more than a dozen times in situations they've created but I've never once actually had to fight them. So my experience is that it's both needed and that it works.
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@brassman7599 "Toxic expectations and pressures of masculinity on men". It does exist and it's not something we're guilty of so much as it's something we're victims of.
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@krimmer66 No, that's the misunderstanding. It's not about a thing that you (men) are, it's a set of pressures put upon you (men).
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@krimmer66 You're not getting what I'm saying. That's the core misunderstanding, the full term is "toxic expectations and pressures of masculinity on men", it's about how societal constructs create this toxicity and it's about fixing that. The way it's been twisted and used, such as in the examples you cite, make it into a pejorative term to sling at people and it only makes the issues worse.
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@krimmer66 I'm saying that it's societal constructs that create the toxic expectations and pressures.
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@krimmer66 That's part of the problem, you're approaching this like you've got to go out and target individuals, rather than addressing the issues within how our society works.
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@krimmer66 I feel lilke we're having some cross-dimensional conversation where you're actually replying to someone else, have a nice day Ken.
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@krimmer66 You need to stop telling people what they think and start listening to what they're actually saying, that's my main takeaway from this futile exchange.
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@krimmer66 "the pressure is not to be toxic" This statement assumes the default condition for a male is that they are toxic. Do you honestly believe that to be true?
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@fakechuck7659 It's about addressing the causes rather than focusing solely on the symptoms, my dude...
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