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Django
David Pakman Show
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Comments by "Django" (@django3422) on "We Should Really Find a Way to Help Incels" video.
I've listened to him. The guy is a paranoid nut.
4
I take issue with "everyone deserves to find connection and love in life". I reckon it wouldn't take long to draw up a pretty hefty list of known persons who we would widely agree don't deserve a damn thing. So I don't like that statement as an absolute, especially since it reinforces this idea that the attitude of an incel is the symptom, not the problem. And that's wrong, the attitude and ideology is entirely the problem. We shouldn't be playing down to it, while helping people is to be encouraged it ultimately lies with the incel individual to lift themselves up.
3
Mr. M No, you've been given solutions. The problem you have is that they all start and end with you having to do the work. What you want is a magic wand to make all your dreams come true but they don't exist.
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You're still thinking of women in terms of a commodity to be acquired, that's the problem. And the solution is not finding more convenient ways for men to more efficiently meet women, but for men to stop being so damned pushy and creepy.
3
We're not just talking about people with low confidence though. We're talking specifically about people who identify as incels and subscribe to an ideology that they are entitled to sex and hold deeply misogynistic views. That person doesn't need a wingman, they need somebody to lay out some uncomfortable home truths. And they need to do the work to grow and move past it.
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The world does not owe you a partner. If you can't find someone who wants to be with you, either deal with it or work on being a better person.
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Mr. M Yeah, I know. You want the fantasy of waving a wand and suddenly it's not a problem anymore. Because that means someone else has done it. You don't like that the reality is that you, and every other person who identifies as or engages in this incel behaviour, is gonna have to work on themselves as an individual.
2
You say that but then a hundred or so people turned up in comments to prove him right.
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@LoudmouthReviews Plainly untrue.
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Mr. M Apps and finances have no relation to attitude adjustment and self improvement. No person is born a finished product. We have to work on ourselves throughout our lives. You're never done growing as a person.
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Mr. M Whatever effect they have is gonna be vastly overshadowed by the impression you make as a human being. Meanwhile, improving yourself as a person improves your life across the board. All I hear from incels is excuses, shifting the blame and complaints that it's not fair. I'm not hearing any reflection on the self which is what actually needs the work.
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Mr. M Pretty obvious what the right answer is.
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@Matt Joseph It's everything to do with your attitude. Stop making excuses and trying to place the blame elsewhere. Take some responsibility.
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@masonm600 Helps if you stop thinking about attraction in terms of points and dating in terms of a market.
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Odd reason. I'm not American either and I wouldn't trust him one bit. The guy's a free speech grifter.
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Prostitution should be legalised, sex workers should be protected, but that's a different matter. Is it the solution here? Rather than addressing the problem, you're chucking salve on the symptom.
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@themaestro3034 No, they need to change their attitude regarding sex and entitlement.
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@themaestro3034 How about reading what I've actually said?
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@themaestro3034 I did, and I disagree with your solution as I already explained. Yet you want to misrepresent what I said as some kind of "puritanical values".
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So you're saying it's the fault of the mother? I'm impressed that you found a way to circle that line of thinking back around to being sexist again. Saddened, but impressed.
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It's really not a disability, so much as it is a mental state individuals get themselves into.
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The guy's a loony sexist idiot who likes to turn young men into more loony sexist idiots by telling them it's not their fault, it's all because of women and leftists and liberals and that the world should cater to them and their desires. It's pathetic, really.
2
There's no "luck with women". That's a daft attitude that suggests you're trying to shift the blame elsewhere. Then your second paragraph makes it painfully clear exactly why...
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Mr. M Right, because that's the only way people socialise. Because life is a teen movie from the early 2000s...
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It's not. What is being framed as a crisis is entitled men goading each other into greater acts of violence because of their unfulfilled desires. This is not single men in general, it is a specific mindset.
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@Matt Joseph As I understand it, that's not accurate. The very first "incel" was in fact a woman. You can get a good summary just on the Wiki page but basically it started as a very, very different thing than what it's become. It was originally people of all genders sharing their experiences with loneliness and a lack of romantic or sexual activity. The idea was that by sharing and exploring the topic, they would help each other and in the case of many of them, that's what happened. Problem with help groups like that which don't have oversight is that, as time passes, the only people left in the group are the angry bitter ones who were unwilling to turn their lives around. Modern incels.
1
@Matt Joseph There is no game. Hang on, did you basically just say facts no longer apply? 'Cos you made a statement, I provided a fact that disproves the statement and gives context to incels past and present, and you're saying it doesn't apply?
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@Matt Joseph You're denying objective reality now. The very first "incel" was a lady called Alana who started up a website for lonely and involuntarily celibate people while she in college. She used it to write about her experiences and connect with other people. Eventually, the majority of these "first wave incels" were able to work on themselves and make connections with people. Alana now deplores what "incel" has become. That is a fact. And it disproves your statement that the female incel is a myth. And once again, there is no "game". That exists only in your mind, but might explain quite a bit as to why people find you off-putting. I'm just another male talking to you via text on the internet and even I'm feeling the impulse to make a lame excuse to leave, when you starting going on about this creepy nonsense.
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@Matt Joseph Ignoring the other guy's crude language, what is it about saying "hello" to someone that you think would get you "Me-Too'd"? What else are you saying or doing that makes people feel threatened?
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@Matt Joseph That's simply not true. So what are you saying or doing, what's your body language? The common denominator in these situations is you and since we know that physical appearance is not the be-all in human relationships, what is it about how you talk to people that is making them feel so worried?
1
@vgaportauthority9932 If I want financial stability I look to my job. For a partner, I'm looking for ease of communication and companionship. Looking at people for what you can get from them seems like a good way to put them off you.
1
@masonm600 I've never used a dating app but I don't see how they could be responsible for raising peoples standards so dramatically in a way that glossy magazines and celeb culture haven't. No, I think a more likely answer is not that men have gotten worse but rather they've gotten stagnant. A common thread with incel/misogynistic people is that they idealise a nostalgic view of the past when times were simpler. What they fail to take into account is that those times were simpler for men but still sucked for women, even "privileged" women. And times have changed. Most women don't want to live up to the 50s Housewife "role model".
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@KiJoHe Oh, do incels have a lot of crossover with flat-earthers then? Wouldn't surprise me.
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@KiJoHe You're using a lot of words to say absolutely nothing.
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Ultimately, the right answer isn't finding some distraction but addressing the fact that you're regarding women as a commodity and sex as an entitlement and working to change that viewpoint. Develop a healthy respect for people instead of thinking about what you can get from them. Speaking bluntly, it feels more like you're making an advert for Christian groups rather than giving guidance.
1
The only way to help them is pandering to their wants and needs? I disagree, sex workers don't deserve to be used as a salve for these people's problems. Help and support can be there for them if they're willing to work on their entitled attitudes.
1
@LoudmouthReviews Well, since plenty do, why not ask them?
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@Matt Joseph Not with that attitude, now.
1
Sounds like this has happened to you quite a few times sooo... how much of your time do you spend hitting on women? Because that might be your problem. If you're "trying too hard" and making it your focus, that can easily come across as unhealthy desperation.
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Not really what this video was about though...
1
@Lyceaos It's very difficult to have proper dialogues on issues if, every time, someone has to interrupt and say "Yeah but what about me?" We'll get to you. Let's deal with the people who have a hateful ideology that makes them prone to violence first.
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@Lyceaos Noted. Moving on.
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No-one is saying help them get laid. It's more about looking at whether treating them less like social outcasts might result in less shootings by incels.
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@AV57 The title of the video might have been your first clue...
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@AV57 Yes, I watched the video. My point is we're talking specifically about incels.
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@gabrielleseals-cook9511 THIS
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@painunending4610 When the topic is about taking incels seriously so that we might prevent future violent crimes committed by them, your comment feels pretty irrelevant.
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@nyarlathotep1328 Thanks for that stunning insight.
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Mr. M Yes, that's the only thing Peterson has ever said in his professional capacity...
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@HMKT1996 Yeah, she'll definitely respect you when you've essentially trafficked her.
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Mr. M Get a hobby, join a group. I play TTRPGs and I've made many of my closest friends through that. Other hobbies could be sports, arts and crafts of many different kinds. You could look into volunteering, a lot of people find self worth and social connections with kindred spirits through working for a good cause.
1
@erikkison Doug Stanhope.
1
@mfh6982 Found the try-hard...
1