Comments by "Daniel Bradford" (@Falconlibrary) on "Man Talk" channel.

  1. They've released a transcript from the cockpit's black box. CAPTAIN: Did you trim the flaps and lower the gear for landing? CO-PILOT: I'm not talking to you. CAPTAIN: Why not? CO-PILOT: You know what you did. I also unfollowed you on Instagram.
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  2. When my wife served divorce papers, she said: "Don't try to talk me out of it, I've made up my mind." I shrugged and signed. She said: "Don't you have anything to say?" I thought for a moment. "Yeah...thank you."
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  3. LAWYER: Sign this contract. MAN: What are the terms? LAWYER: You have to agree to pay 100% of all expenses, although the other party may contribute some, but that contribution is totally voluntary. If the other party breaks the contract, that party gets half your assets and can claim a portion of your income for at least eighteen years. If you get break the contract, the other party still gets half your assets and can claim a portion of your income for at least eighteen years. MAN: You think I'm nuts? No one in his right mind would agree to such a one-sided deal. LAWYER: I thought you said you wanted to get married?
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  4. Rich guy found out she was cheating with her male "friend" and kicked her to the curb 😂😂😂
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  5. Woman #2 is well into middle-aged and this is the first time in her life she's been ignored/ghosted. Welcome to every man's life from adolescence to death, cupcake.
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  6. She was trying to get the upper hand in their relationship with the Pre-Emptive Breakup (see Seinfeld), but it backfired on her. Although chowing down cookies while describing how you tore your family apart is a very George Costanza thing to do.
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  7. "The landing gear isn't deploying properly." "Don't you mainsplain this landing to me!"
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  8. Three things: 1. Women love drama 2. Women love to be victims 3. Women love chasing unattainable men Most of them don't progress emotionally and mentally past the age of 14 or 15. If that doesn't explain it all, you haven't been paying attention!
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  9. 10 RED FLAGS FOR WOMEN 1. She has a TikTok and/or Instagram and it's almost entirely filled with selfie videos/photos 2. Tattoos, the more she has, the crazier she is 3. Over 30 and never been married (prior marriage gives you further grounds for investigation into her character) 4. Deadbeat or absent father in her family 5. Mother has been married and divorced multiple times 6. She talks about her exes a lot 7. Single mother 8. Tries to shame you if you don't bow to her will (you're not a "real man") 9. Pushes constantly for expensive gifts, vacations, dinner dates 10. Has lots of guys around who are "just friends" (with benefits) Any one of these red flags is cause for concern. If she has three or more, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. If we want to add some: 11. Has female friends who are “party animals” or are otherwise promiscuous (women are easily influenced by their worst-behaved friends) 12. Lots of piercings, especially facial (nose ring, etc) 13. Hair that is not a natural color (purple, blue, orange, etc) 14. Frequent use of profanity (three F-words and she’s out) 15. Fingernails (real or fake) that are like claws. Print out this checklist and take it on a date. When you get to the third strike, put the list back in your pocket, get up, and leave without a word. No explanation necessary. If she asks, just say “You know what you did!” the way women do. (Note: This list disqualifies 95% of women)
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  10. "Why doesn't Chad want what I want him to want?"
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  11. "All of my relationships fail because I matched with men of the wrong astrological signs."
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  12. It's almost as if these women are delusional.
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  13. That works until it doesn't work. One day she'll say you're being abusive or say she's bored or fantasize about all the dudes she could get if she were single and file for divorce. There's a 60% chance of it, and 90% of divorces are filed by women. Marriage is the only contract that rewards one party for violating the terms and conditions.
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  14. I've talked to other men who are upset and I've never judged them harshly for it, because I know the average man has to be in some SERIOUS pain before he'll reveal he's hurting at all. Women? They will rip you to shreds for showing emotion, if not now, then further on down the road. NEVER tell a woman what you're really thinking or feeling. If she says "trust me"--don't. Not even the most loving girlfriend or wife really wants to hear what's going on inside you. They "love" you for what you do for them and feel no need to reciprocate. In most male-female relationships, it's the man giving 95% and the woman giving 5%.
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  15. That's why I never talk politics with even educated women: their conversation is shallow and emotions-based. "Omg, I hate Trump SO MUCH!" "Because of his environmental policies?" "No, he's just icky!" I can see good and bad in just about every politician, including Trump and Biden, because as a man, I focus on their policies and their actions, not whether or not they give me good or bad feels. I had a drill sergeant in the Air Force who was a SOB but he trained us right, so he was OK by me. Not ever going to be my buddy, but he had a job to do and he did it.
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  16. Quality of life over quantity. A caged bird lives longer than one free in the wild. Which would you rather be?
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  17. Tried the Passport Bro approach? Except you can't bring 'em back home.
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  18. "Any job you can do in your pajamas is not difficult."--Bill Burr
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  19. "Communicating" = "I dump all my emotions on you while you sit and listen and occasionally nod your head. I do NOT want to hear what you're thinking and feeling because sharing your emotions with me makes me feel you're weak." Communication: a process by which information is exchanged between individuals is NOT women's definition--their communication is all one-way, all talking, no listening
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  20. Too bad there's not a filter that masks all the tattoos.
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  21. Anyone else notice that women seem to know nothing about us? All women have to do is ASK men what we want and we'd tell them. But they never do. "Why don't men want what I want them to want?" every woman asks. Gee, cupcake, if only there were some way to solve this mystery.
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  22. "There are good men in the world. I know, I've shoved them out of the way to grab an abusive bad boy SO many times."
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  23. 07:26 Am I a bad person for being cheered up by seeing this arrogant woman crying? If I am, I guess I gotta be me.
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  24. Omg, she had to work for EIGHT HOURS IN A ROW. No man ever has to do that.
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  25. Should we appoint a manager of all men? How about Liam Neeson? I think he'd be good at it.
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  26. @ Yeah, so why doesn't it happen more often? I'm 62 and have never heard of this before.
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  27. "I don't care that this guy cancelled the date. I don't care so much I made an entire TikTok video about it! Which is what you do to show something has had no effect on you!" The little lambs just aren't logical thinkers, are they?
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  28. I wish I was in a relationship with one of the women in this video. There's nothing I love more than a long, condescending lecture about What's Wrong With Me and What I Need To Do To Fix It because she's NOT happy.
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  29.  @TR1-BORG  She said "medical professional", which covers a broad range of occupations.
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  30. I was a high school teacher for thirty years. 95% of the problems girls had at our school were other girls bullying them, harassing them, and being physically violent to them. Warning or punishing the bullies and attackers didn't work; it just made them more vicious. In the 5% of cases where the troublemakers were boys, we told them to stop, and they stopped.
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  31. "So I crushed my husband's heart munch munch munch and deprived our daughter of her dad's full-time attention munch munch munch and my husband was munch munch munch surprised. And I didn't like that." Also: "There was no compassion." Look who's talking.
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  32.  @heathmcrigsby  starts with C, rhymes with "tourt"
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  33. SANTA: HO HO HO! ADRIANA: Hey, Santa's calling for me.
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  34. 1:24 Talks with her mouth full and then wonders why she's dateless. Hm, let's think about that.
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  35. Honestly, Ms. Brown looks like she's late thirties or early forties. Studies have shown that childhood trauma can cause young women to age prematurely. Knowing how Hollywood is full of predators and the fact that Ms. Brown started acting at a young age--well, it's possible.
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  36. Goodbye, sperm donor! Hello, wallet! Yeah, I'm gonna have to pass on both roles.
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  37. At least the Girl Scouts bring what you pay them for.
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  38. All I hear is Chad, Chad, Chad. Nothing to do with 90% of us. We can only do one thing: ignore these women, not that they'd notice, because we're invisible to them except when they need a human ATM. Not interested, cupcake.
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  39. I just bought stock in Petco. I don't see any way it can fail to rise high with all these future cat ladies in the population.
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  40. 1:09 A lady doesn't talk with her mouth full. Neither does a gentleman. Who raises these ill-mannered swine?
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  41. Bad plastic surgery? Or the effects of trauma-related stress? Hollywood is full of predators.
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  42. Who eats cookies before their workout? You'd have to run 20 miles to work off the calories. Her ass will have its own zip code in six months.
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  43. Where are all the tearful video confessions from men? What's that, there aren't any? Huh, it's almost like we just take our lumps and move on. Might be a lesson in there somewhere.
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  44. 60 million aborted children and we wonder why we have a demographic crisis. Whoopi Goldberg deleted FIVE kids before the age of 25 and brags about it.
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  45. "I'M OUT, BABY! I'M OUT!"
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  46. Why would I want to raise another man's children? Just asking what I get out of this "package deal"? Being fifth place in your life after you (#1) and your kids (#2, #3, #4)? Yeah, give my place in line to somebody else.
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  47. 2:09 I'd date her. I love hearing someone talk for three hours nonstop about how stunning and brave Ruth Bader Ginsburg was.
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  48. If women were one-tenth as smart as they think they are, they'd all be geniuses. The average woman has the same understanding the world and how it works as a ten year old child.
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  49. I was done with her 1 minute into the video.
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  50. They have a daughter. I saw a longer version of the video. She broke the news to the kid and the daughter shrugged and said "ok".
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