Comments by "" (@youngmasterzhi) on "Inside Edition" channel.

  1. It’s amazingly shocking that some people care more about not getting enough fruit in their drinks than employees at Starbucks getting fired for unionizing
    6000
  2. That scene in Riverdale was foreshadowing his own demise. Now he went from “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” to “Diary of a Gimpy Punk”
    5800
  3. I’m not sure if reverse psychology is going to convince thieves to not steal your car. Might as well leave your keys out into the open.
    4300
  4. Imagine if everyone watching the drug fire got high on the polluted fumes
    3300
  5. Up Next: Ugly NYC duckling finds himself stranded in Japan with a harem of female ducks
    2400
  6. Couldn't he just sue the studio??
    1900
  7. The airplane has aluminum shielding that basically acts like a cage that protects against any electrical surge. She has nothing to worry about.
    1800
  8. Hey, at least they’re not grunting like the other tennis players
    1700
  9. Now if only we can revive Thomas Jefferson’s most prized apple orchards!
    1700
  10. The steepness of the dangerous incline designed to accommodate a higher number of seats reminded me of those Victorian-era lower-class and middle-class houses with the very steep stairs; with the houses having a smaller surface area to accommodate more dwellings along a street and to reduce building costs, these houses were consequentially built with steeper stairs.  As a result, homeowners and servants were more prone to stair-related accidental injuries and deaths from tumbling down steeper stairwells than those living in upper-class mansions that had less steep stairs. You think architectural engineers would have already known better that implementing this kind of outdated measure would result in major consequences for future wrongful injury lawsuits from the Superbowl spectators.
    1700
  11. You can still be on the record for having the largest tuber growth
    1500
  12. Diesel should have his own biography movie called “The Ass and the Furious”!
    1400
  13. Since people trapped under rubble can't observe daylight and moonlight, they tend to have a misconception over how long they've been trapped under, sometimes underestimating their length of entrapment This is actually a very helpful physiological mechanism that allows the body to conserve energy reserves within the fat and lower their metabolism, hence allowing some rubble survivors to hang on for dear life for weeks on end.
    1400
  14. What a bittersweet family reunion
    1300
  15. The dogs decided the owner tasted better than the treats he gave them
    1200
  16. Laundrie is like Big Foot; mysterious, monstrous and meandering
    1100
  17. First boys who cry “Wolf”, and now goats who cry “Help”!
    1000
  18. >> Beats up 80 year old who was carrying shopping bags >> Can't even win a fight against a 75 year old with a wooden plank
    964
  19. Next Saga: The Hunt for the guy who founded the $2 million dollar treasure
    961
  20. If you’re black, it’s guilty until proven innocent. If you’re white, it’s the other way around.
    841
  21. Could you imagine if Obama's daughters endorsed Goya beans back in the day?
    774
  22. Hologram is not good enough! Make an android of the queen’s younger self when you celebrate her 100th coronation anniversary!
    766
  23. That octopus did not kill you, because he considers you a gentle harmless kind giant to play around with
    759
  24. Someone got tired of hearing carollers singing at his doorstep
    759
  25. It's been 7 years since everyone has heard this case, and it's STILL hasn't been solved?!
    715
  26. That certainly is jaw dropping
    704
  27. She may had lost her money, but she already won our hearts!
    690
  28. Please leave the crazy stunts to the cats, Winston
    651
  29. I can’t wait for her next children’s book “Am I Going to Hell?”
    624
  30. 1:22 If you guys didn't crowd around the police cars and ambulances, and block their pathway into CHAZ, your son would've been alive today!
    603
  31. We all know most of these politicians aren't angels, but threatening to lynch them over an election result is just outrageous
    595
  32. Unfun fact: In Russia, people who answered the phone would stay silent on their end as part of phone etiquette. This is because of Russia’s history of wiretapping civilian phones since the Soviet Union. People who received the call would only respond after the transmitting caller speaks first.
    578
  33. Why can’t they just duel it out with Super Soaker battles like civilized people these days?
    563
  34. You’re supposed to be riding INSIDE the car during a police chase, NOT outside of it!
    557
  35. Instead of getting his Nintendo back, he'll have to deal with tugging on a couple joysticks
    519
  36. Do they also give out free malaria shots, in case they get attacked by waterborne mosquitoes riding on plastic junk?
    511
  37. Another pro-tip: Avoid driving into alleyways, cul-de-sacs and dead-end streets. They're potential car traps and can leave you more vulnerable to an aggressive driver
    505
  38. She’s not resisting! She’s just not standing! She doesn’t have to stand up for you, only against you!
    497
  39. Laguna also means “shortcoming/deficiency” in Spanish, just like his medical reputation!
    480
  40. She really did lived up to her last name!
    462
  41. Thank god he didn’t stole the dakimakuras and silicone dolls! Even if we were to get them back, I don’t think the museum would even want them returned back anymore…
    450
  42. Imagine if the tall queen came up to her husband to confess her infidelity and said “Honey, I’m sorry to say this, but—-I found someone shorter than you”
    387
  43. Fun fact: If you want to buy swimsuits and bikinis for summer at the cheapest prices, start shopping for them during the August month
    383
  44. He's got some HUGE explaining to do when he arrives at court!
    374
  45. If they really want to disrupt this sponsored tournament, they should've started throwing shoes at the spectators and the golfers
    369
  46. Now we need an E-sheriff in town with a loaded E-Glock!
    366
  47. All that's missing now is a red crab, a squid and an underwater squirrel!
    333
  48. That wasn't very 'presidential' of him Then again, he IS a dog...
    316
  49. In the end, cooler heads had prevailed
    309
  50. I have special needs too and had witness one of my close high school special ed peers run up to another student with a sharp pencil over a provoked comment! Let me tell you, the special ed teachers do NOT tolerate violence, regardless if it is done by a neurotypical or mentally challenged person!
    304
  51. He surely ended his performance on a high note
    299
  52. It’s official! Hindi is now considered the most romantic language!
    268
  53. Imagine if Hogg suddenly got competition from a THIRD independent pillow company called "King Pillow"
    264
  54. I get it! It’s coming this fall, and it’s a story all about falling from a tower!
    259
  55. They did notice. They just don’t give a f**k.
    259
  56. Why is everyone shocked that this happened? This is what happens when you oppress a certain group to their breaking point!
    240
  57. When you want to self-isolate TO THE EXTREEEEMMMMEEEE
    238
  58. Hope she doesn’t become the world’s deadest scientist
    223
  59. Or Denny’s
    210
  60. I wonder if they’ll be exempt from paying property taxes for being technically “boats”
    207
  61. The judge wasn’t kidding about the death warrant. She just didn’t specify who will carry it out!
    198
  62. This bear is experiencing what many grocer shoppers had to go through opening tough food packaging
    197
  63. Remember, EVEN a friendly wave on the road COULD be misinterpreted!
    195
  64. This is the shortest spin-off of Finding Nemo I'd ever heard
    181
  65. Probably some jealous bridesmaid with a grudge
    177
  66. Wow, usually back in the old days, thieves would just bump your vehicle, and entice you to stop your car to inspect the damage and to exchange phone numbers, before suddenly ambushing you and robbing you of your loot
    173
  67. He escaped because he’s afraid of being shown his hospital bills
    163
  68. Why not praise and credit the air traffic controller for guiding you to safety?
    158
  69. He can have ALL the mayonnaise he wants from the inmates once he’s locked up for life!
    150
  70. This is like watching two grown-ups having a dispute over whether you should or should not go to work in your underwear
    149
  71. Edit reason: Grammar Mistake (bold) He only wanted the front door locked, because he doesn’t want her to realize he broke in via window
    149
  72. Next, I want to try a dodo chicken dinner meal!
    140
  73. Not really winning the argument against the death penalty if you're literally threatening the life of one of your peers over the verdict
    136
  74. Unfun fact: Handshakes were originally first practiced during medieval times to check for murder weapons, thereby ensuring safety among or between parties
    135
  75. He wasn't staring at the judge. He was trying to do his impersonation of a statue in the hopes he wouldn't be targeted by the other inmates in the yard
    134
  76. I would've suggested a ring of fire. It's how the Pope protected himself from the plague back during the Black Death.
    125
  77. Fun fact: The Fanaloka is related to the Malagasy word “pelanduk”, meaning “mouse deer” due to its small mouse-like size and similar deer-like profile shape
    125
  78. Oh my god, Afghanistan had just handed over their country to a bunch of children—-WITH WEAPONS!! Well, to be fair, this isn’t the first country to be handed with such a fate…
    121
  79. What movie DOESN’T have routine references to beer, guns, country music and hunting? Jack Reacher, Django Unchained, Magnificent Seven, Buster Riggs, The Kingsman: The Golden Circle…
    121
  80. She may be body positive, but she's not mentally positive
    120
  81. Why does everything that wants to kill you destroy everything we love?! I HATE this planet sometimes!
    118
  82. And now for the final end to this treasure hunting trilogy: Grave Robbing Fenn of all his treasures
    116
  83. This is why I don’t show my real face on social media. Putting myself in p0rnographic situations is MY thing, not theirs!
    115
  84. At this point, these peppers should be classified as biological weapons of destruction
    114
  85. That depends if your body thinks it's been trapped for three days
    110
  86. If the gender roles were reversed, the three men would have a showdown over who gets to keep the girl
    110
  87. I mean, sure he stabbed a guy several times for trying to bang his wife, but that guy was probably a dick anyway and Bennet already served his time, so…
    108
  88. Apparently, everybody forgot about the Travis incident!
    104
  89. If he loves the number 47 that much, then I guess he wouldn't mind having that number of years added to his sentence
    103
  90. Another day, another attempted hit by a disgruntled ex-spouse
    101
  91. He is one hot potato, I’ll admit
    100
  92. It's not all THAT bad though. There was this once case where a bed-ridden paralytic patient was accidentally forced to watch "Barney" on television as he laid on his hospital bed. He hated the show so much, it actually motivated his nerves into regaining his mobility, thereby freeing him from his paralysis
    98
  93. I really thought he tied that hoverbard to a string connected to a loose tooth and rode away to pull the tooth out!
    97
  94. I wonder if he stays calm after being infected with CoVid-19
    95
  95. I was expecting these hustles to be a lot like assassinations, property repossession, data hacking and espionage.
    95
  96. (Un)fun fact: Natural red hair is much harder to dye than other hair colours, because they hold in their pigments with a stronger chemical bond
    92
  97. That drill exercise was a total bomb
    91
  98. The mayor should've hired Tom Cruise as her bodyguard
    91
  99. She should’ve hired a literal Karen to read those tweets! It would’ve sounded way more convincing AND she can avoid public attention!
    89
  100. We need to start building submarine drones that can hunt down these shifty sea smugglers
    84
  101. Whoever was responsible for the labelling wasn’t exactly a smart cookie
    84
  102. At this point, we need to set up delivery stations across busy highways
    82
  103. People suffering from obesity, diabetes or PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) has a plethora of fat cells that can release an abnormal amount of estrogen in women, which in turn prevents ovulation and irregular menstruation cycles, both of which could hinder pregnancy Obesity also causes abnormal levels of testosterone in women, which could also affect quality of the ovum egg and antagonistically suppress pregnancy Ozempic works by activating the GLP-1 (glucagon-like peptide 1), which in turn simulates the release of insulin, thereby lowering blood sugar levels and inhibiting production of glucagon, which in turn lowers the amount of fat cells in the body In layman’s terms, Ozempic acts as a workload reliever that allows the reproductive system to return back to its regular cycles without any hinderance from excess overload and obstruction
    81
  104. There is another magic dress that shrinks your waistline. It’s called a corset.
    81
  105. It’s all good until two nine-year-old kids dress up in a single trenchcoat!
    80
  106. My former special-education teacher is a part-time gliding enthusiast. He is very strict about the weight of combined persons boarding his glider, but he knows well about how he communicates this procedure to young female passengers. He always apologizes about the upcoming question and thoroughly explains about the safety concerns, before asking them about their weight. They could’ve at least explain to the 13-year old why she needed to meet weight requirements and maybe not show the scale in front of strangers.
    80
  107. Everyone is going postal these days
    77
  108. They really need to stop meeting each other like this
    76
  109. The best part about those makeshift E-bikes is that you don’t have to worry about batteries suddenly catching fire or exploding!
    76
  110. She would’ve came back 27,500x richer!
    74
  111. I can’t wait for another 90 years when all of the groundskeepers line up with laser-blade mowers!
    73
  112. We need to set up a more prominent neighbourhood watch to watch out for these thieving watch men
    73
  113. To be fair, there has been advanced research into producing synthetic versions of venom to replace addictive opioid painkillers, so his treatments may not be so far-fetched after all
    69
  114. Plot twist: It’s actually a drug smuggling cave!
    69
  115. Dude literally became Rudolph the Blood-nosed Pain Deer!
    67
  116. And yet you people complained about excessive surveillance and breach of privacy rights
    66
  117. She should’ve responded with “Not unless I poison your dinner first! That too was a joke, by the way”
    65
  118. OJ’s last words (probably): “I’M NOT DYYIINNGGGG!!”
    65
  119. Maybe they should hire Yondu to do the high-profile babysitting
    65
  120. We can't even hold funerals for shooting victims without getting caught in ANOTHER potential shooting!
    64
  121. If airports can have this kind of high-level security, why not subways?
    63
  122. It could be worse. All the kids would’ve end up in a factory accident report while being carried away by singing short labourers!
    63
  123. See, this is why police should wear body cams. It helps reveals the open truth about police misconduct AND helps absolve them of any wrongful accusations by the alleged suspects!
    63
  124.  @awkwardfreakinperson7936  Keep telling yourself that!
    62
  125. I like to see them try to re-enact D-day
    61
  126. Here’s a crazy idea: RAISE WORKERS’ WAGES!!
    59
  127. I can't wait for them to become 18 to reenact this scene!
    59
  128. That eagle is going to need a lotta therapy after his encounter with Japan's cliche perverted monster
    58
  129. I'm more surprised the law cares more about voter fraud in homecoming queen "elections" than actual voter frauds during presidential elections
    58
  130. So THAT’S why Goku eats so much without gaining fat weight!
    58
  131. He was all Street, no Sesame!
    57
  132. Imagine being so egregiously racist, even a Karen hates you enough to banish you from her own safe space!
    56
  133. That body language expert should've really take a look at Biden's giant creepy hands
    54
  134. Oh my god, we get it! You don’t like it when your kid loses to the other team! Tone it down a notch, will ya?!
    53
  135. Getting fired over the suit was just uncalled for, but she still needs to be accounted for what she said about trans kids, considering the anti-LGBTQ+ climate in America today
    53
  136. Finally, an Apple Air tag story that doesn't involve stalking!
    53
  137. Their shoot for stardom wasn't completely on-Target
    52
  138. I wonder how America’s neighbour Canada would be affected if this happened in real life
    52
  139. Another household tip: If you have a scratched wooden floor, rub a piece of walnut onto the affected area to fill in the gap
    51
  140. So how long before fences and con men start selling second-grade and stolen vaccines for a profit in the UK?
    51
  141. Well, at least her lover didn't suffer when his head got sawn off...
    50
  142. He went from being charged with attempted battery to being fully charged with an overloaded explosive battery!
    50
  143. YAY, let's bring back all the smog pollution in China!!
    50
  144. We have that in Ontario, Canada. This shouldn’t be surprising.
    50
  145. Next time my parents want to go dine in a foreign country, I'm bringing a portable food cooker and buying local ingredients to cook my own meals! Let's see them outsmart THAT!
    49
  146. There’s actually some cities that use beet sugar (instead of salt) to de-ice their roads
    49
  147. Get ready for Cyberunk 2077: Farming Simulator DLC!
    48
  148. In our cottage, we sometimes burn the leaves and use the potash as fertilizer later
    47
  149. War does not determine who is right, but it does determine who is left…
    47
  150. Not even Judge Judy is that mean...
    47
  151. So they'll release Bill Cosby, but they'll allow Britney to remain in custody??!
    46
  152. He put a bright smile on that fish
    45
  153. You know, I remember there was an army of military robots from "Horizon: Zero Dawn" that had similar programming, and they nearly wiped the whole planet's biological ecosystem because of their ability to find available biofuel resources
    45
  154. Finally, no more hearing her reminisce about her dead father!!
    44
  155. And she didn’t necessarily had to pull out a gun on an innocent bystander!
    44
  156. How do know it’s not a man dressed IN a Jack Skeleton costume and flying with a jet pack?!!
    43
  157. (Dad swears profusely)
    43
  158. STOP IN THE NAME OF THE LAW!
    43
  159. In addition to enhancing the flavor of a hot meal, the smart electric chopsticks also doubles as an electrocuting torture device!
    43
  160. And yet in spite of Hall’s sacrifice, Tucker Carlson is still gonna go pro-Putin all the way through on his Fox News segment, making Hall’s ordeal be put in vain
    42
  161. Isn’t opening umbrellas indoors unlucky?
    40
  162. One step closer to becoming Megamind’s new assistant!
    40
  163. This could make an excellent ad promotion!
    39
  164. Do stupid things, win stupid prizes! If someone decided to venture into a forest full of bears in spite of the warning signs, would YOU go after them?
    39
  165. Edited: I actually lost around 40 pounds of mass during the pandemic, so I don't need to get back into shape!
    38
  166. HEY, maybe THAT will stop Spring breakers from coming to Florida!
    38
  167. He’s just trying to avoid paying his workers bonus pay and a living wage, and shifting the responsibilities to his employees!
    38
  168. Can't they just create one of those dynamo-powered bikes that only generate electricity every time you pedal?
    38
  169. Women should be experts on women
    38
  170. Should've used a golf club
    37
  171. Tianeptine is an atypical depressant, meaning it relaxes the body in other ways that differed from regular depressants; basically, it activates the mu-opioid receptor (the same receptor that becomes activated when binding with morphine, hence the name) This is similar to how heroine biochemically functions, and hence why it is known as gas station heroine
    37
  172. This represents their goals and dreams post-college
    35
  173. It's not just for people whose family members died from drive-by shootings anymore!
    35
  174. Jokes on them! I don’t like swimming at all!
    35
  175.  @ianthecoolthief6226  The Kyoto Animation Studio in Uji Japan, dumbkopf!
    35
  176. This is totally worth bringing some steamed hams for this spectacle
    34
  177. This should totally turn into a Netflix series!
    34
  178. Wait, why didn’t they install lights and cameras inside the truck?
    33
  179. I remember an old animated sketch of emojis working together to make a conveying love message, with the angry face acting as their commander. It was only then that they found out the reason the relationship was failing was because the sender was using too many emojis on his messages, causing the angry red face commander to become red face with embarrassment! That’s why I never use emojis. Make it seem more honest and less cringeworthy!
    33
  180. Cheerleaders actually report and suffer more concussions per year than athletes in all physical-contact sports
    33
  181. Why not hire someone to rob the scammers and get your money back?
    32
  182. You know, after seeing the tragic story on Ponzu the cat, I wouldn't mind having a dog like that. He'll sure discourage any brat from "accidentally" running into a leash and dragging it across the pavement!
    32
  183. They’re using Far Cry protagonist tactics! We’re all gonna die!
    31
  184. Tesla should add electrocution shield plating to their cars, so that any attempt at keying will put these vandals in a coma for 3 weeks
    31
  185. That's actually a befitting name for a town that shamed a rape victim
    31
  186. They should’ve freed him to greener pastures
    30
  187. He feels like walking on air, knowing this perp is gonna be podded!
    30
  188. He’s no smoothie criminal. Then again, they could’ve accidentally kill his son and this would’ve ended with a wrongful death lawsuit.
    30
  189. Now I want a Netflix series revolving the life of the classical Octodad
    30
  190. He could’ve been the first dude to be given a pig heart, yet he let an ex-con take in all the glory instead
    30
  191. She could’ve got up to the anchorwoman’s face and screamed “PAY ATTENTION TO ME, SUKA! I’m trying to snap you outta your brainwashed mind here!”
    29
  192. I’m gonna do the same thing with the dishes!
    29
  193. It’s just like that episode of “Servant of the People”, when president Zelenksy lowered the retirement age so he could pay back IMF debts with raised income taxes (much to the detriment of his mother who had JUST retired yesterday!)
    29
  194. So far, news reports say the bishop owed the guy money over unpaid carpentry work
    29
  195. I can’t wait until 2052 to sell my 2024 calendars!
    28
  196. It would be a shame if someone tripped a homeless man into a moving truck….
    28
  197. The closest thing to a terror attacker during the eclipse would probably be conspiracy theorists launching fireworks or firing their guns at the eclipse, thinking that the moon is being eaten by a celestial dragon
    28
  198. Screw going green! Go brown!
    28
  199. He was going to get off early, but then he realized he had forgotten to take his parachute with him
    28
  200. The Dad scream also works wonders too!
    28
  201. Stupid cellphone generation!
    27
  202. Watch Dogs series is becoming too close to reality
    27
  203. This is why some educational institutions use multiple versions of different exams; that way, it reduces the risk of students cheating AND randomly tests the students on their diverse critical thinking skills
    27
  204. They can clean the White House all they want; they still can't get rid of the stench of the swamp
    27
  205. If that’s how he thought his proposal would go down, imagine what he wrote for his honeymoon!
    27
  206. Dude, first you enter the police station…THEN you can perform the self-strip and cavity search!
    27
  207. Was his retirement pension not enough?!
    26
  208. If they REALLY wanna get the blood pumping AND keep the show running very long, they should exercise in front of an action-thrill automobile movie, like one of those "Fast and the Furious" films or "Death Race"
    26
  209.  @childskites6346  What if you pose as a bald hitman who just came back from a previous job and didn't had time to wash his clothes?
    26
  210. I heard of phishing, but phrogging? That kinda sounded like something you do when you want to hop your control among various hackable computerized cars, just so you could cross the road without worrying about traffic.
    25
  211. That’s why I usually jiggle around and tug on the contours of the keypad to check if a skimmer has been latched or pasted on
    25
  212. Don’t use ANYTHING that can be connected to the Internet! Always go analog!
    25
  213. They just wanted her inheritance money!
    25
  214. I dunno. I feel like it's much crueler to let him live in fear of being targeted by other inmates from the general population than to give him a swift merciful death.
    25
  215. CNN: Innocent man sentenced to life after courageously defending himself from possible car hijacker
    25
  216. Not the first time I’ve seen someone from the View fall from grace
    25
  217. This isn’t murder! They were just hunting animals just like any normal safari explorer!
    24
  218. And I don’t mean the kind found in concentration camps
    24
  219. The health claims they spat out on the benefits of raw milk is very hard to swallow
    24
  220. Who’s next, John Wayne Gacey?
    24
  221. It should be no coincidence that a nation founded by people convicted of anti-monarch revolution would be protesting against living in a constitutional monarch
    24
  222. She’s got beauty, brains AND brawn!
    24
  223. Or take them to a psychologist to discuss their identity!
    23
  224. My mom always grills me about cleaning my Thermos all the time, and reminds me to wash it twice before refilling, especially if you use it to store coffee If you have the coffee sitting around for more than one hour, it is best to dump it all the way, because the milk you may had added to your coffee may had cooled down enough to allow lactic bacteria to grow
    23
  225. “You see, every time I examine at his X-ray, my thumb always tend to cover the frontal lobe”
    23
  226. Relax, ladies! Sharks can’t fly!
    23
  227. Enforcing national security by denying those people who helped enforced national security! Genius!
    22
  228. Good on the women fighting for pro-choice rights! If the sex strike worked in the Phillipines, Liberia and Columbia, then it should work in the USA!
    22
  229. She doesn't just enforces the law! She IS the LAW!
    22
  230. I heard of one robber actually fainting from the fumes after breaking into a fumigated house in that show “World’s Dumbest”
    22
  231. Getting a taste of your own medicine
    22
  232. If her boss offered her a bigger raise after 20 years on the job instead of setting up a Go-Fund Me, she wouldn’t need to rely on the community in the first place!! That boss is just being a cheapskate who doesn’t want to pay out of her own pocket! EDITED: Incorrect gender of boss
    22
  233. This guy should TOTALLY work for Trump! HE'S PERFECT!!
    21
  234. I heard of a case of one dog setting his glass food bowl in a position that actually focused the outdoor sunlight into a single focal point, thereby unintentionally causing a magnifying glass fire of the owner's house
    21
  235. You know what’s a better health care option? UNIVERSAL SINGLE-PAYER HEALTHCARE! You know, the one that every country in the world already has?
    21
  236. This is how seagulls feel when you charge at them in the park
    21
  237. Even the rich aren't safe from Disney's exploitation!
    20
  238. Mess with the bull, you get horned!
    20
  239. Don’t get me started on how he reacts to his toothpaste being applied incorrectly
    20
  240. I miss John Wick
    20
  241. DeSantis should respond by surrounding his residence with a wall of coffins for the protesters to use for free
    19
  242. They’re going to WISH they had whiplash!
    19
  243.  @ajanay1200  The grunting gives them an extra psychological muscular boost to their swings and allow them to hit harder, and therefore launch the ball faster. It's much like how you can break stuff much more destructively while screaming vs while being completely silent.
    19
  244. At least this criminal cares more about ethical purchases when it comes to protecting the environment
    19
  245. Turns out daddy DID hurt mommy...BAD
    19
  246. Hope that $60,000 was worth it, because she’s going to need it to hire security protect herself from the angry mob
    19
  247. Meanwhile, Palestinians have no bomb shelters to seek, in spite of the 1-hour warning
    18
  248. It would be a shame if some hunter were to mistake him for a wild game animal!
    18
  249. Now he's known as "Death Row Joe"!
    18
  250. This is why you bring an engineering kid prodigy to your adventures!
    18
  251. At this point, anyone can sue any parent if they accidentally fed their child a peanut cake and caused a deadly allergic reaction
    18
  252. Even if she does get released, she’s going to live in a prison of her own upon returning home, as all of her friends and families will cut ties from her and leave her suffering in physical and social isolation for the rest of her life
    18
  253. This is going to upset a lotta corpos who had their products copyrighted to hinder rights to repair in the name of planned obsolescence and profiteering from constant sale of products with contrived durability
    17
  254. The best thing about remote schooling is that you don't have to deal,with the bullies!
    17
  255. Next, I wanna see the son react when he sees his mom wrestles with another mom
    17
  256. Let's hold a vigil to commemorate the sacrifice of our brave satellite who saved us from extinction
    17
  257. And then he formulated a theorem that proves God doesn’t exist
    17
  258. Just because he wasn't an angel doesn't mean you could beat him up like a demon
    17
  259. Now I know why you spend so much time at the Clam
    17
  260. All this heatwave news story needs now is a tiger scandal!
    17
  261.  @JosephSneep  Good luck petitioning without having your house picketed, TP’ed, or burned to the ground!
    17
  262. I guess that’s why it is five-stars! They always abide to the motto “First Come, First Served”!
    16
  263. It's more like what he DIDN'T do, and the suspect said it was over an unpaid debt for handiwork
    16
  264. It’s too late to watch John Wick, babe!
    16
  265. Looks like the justice scales had finally been balanced after that Rottenhouse acquittal fiasco
    16
  266. If Trump was the one who said it, they would talk down on the reporter who dare asked a legitimate question
    16
  267. He wanted to dig for buried treasure, but little did he know he was digging his own grave!
    16
  268. This is like Hillary Clinton email scandals 2.0
    16
  269. I just hope Japan doesn't invent a robot tongue that can trick the bud scanner into flying into the sun
    16
  270. I can feel the steamy furies emanating from Tucker Carlson right about now….
    16
  271. They’re researching on psychological warfare from the Internet archives
    16
  272. Would it really matter how their political stance could affect their singing skills? If Bernie Sanders, Nina Turner, AOC or any other Progressive member of the Democratic side were to compete in Masked Singer, I'll guaranteed that none of those judges would think about leaving their posts
    16
  273. When you REALLY need to escape the world infected by COVID
    16
  274. Good luck trying to enforce distancing with a robot that has a history of physical abuse!
    16
  275. Unfun fact: Studies had shown that even if ONE room of the house was painted pink, the house’s market value would devalue by an average $2000
    15
  276. And now for the spin-off: "55 to Life"!
    15
  277. There’s a school out there on top of the mountains where they have one basketball court. The kids rarely play there during recess, because the school didn’t have enough money to install a safety net and the kids could easily lose the ball during their game. Even school kids like them would probably have the sense to not enter a lake over a basketball!
    15
  278. Now all we need is Gunner Wright from the “Dead Space” series!
    15
  279. Can we also do stickers that label U.S. presidents as war criminals? Like George Bush, Obama and Trump?
    15
  280. How im-morel of them too
    14
  281. That’s like the oldest trick in the book
    14
  282. +Wildlife survival fact:+ If you find yourself in the wild with an unknown plant or mushroom and you intend to eat it, first take a small sample and rub it on your skin (unless it has spines, tiny hairs or any defensive mechanisms that clearly indicate its inedible nature) If you develop rashes, bumps or any skin ailment later on, DON’T eat it! Otherwise, proceed to take a tiny nib sample of the natural product and place it on your tongue. If you feel a tingly or numb sensation, DON’T eat it! Otherwise, take only a very raw small sample of the natural product and swallow it raw; if you feel discomfort in your stomach or body, DEFINITELY don’t eat it at all! Continue to take progressively larger samples of the product (preferably cooked if required) to ensure you have a safe edible experience
    14
  283. He’s still a domestic abuser
    14
  284. This is why I don’t talk to people as often. You’ll never know whether strangers or “friends” could secretly be actually a “simjack” trying to socially engineer your real-life avatar
    14
  285. I think it’s one of those escape bathyspheres developed by that one Japanese inventor after the Fukushima disaster
    14
  286. Well, she's a mom and we all know how moms had to juggle between work and taking care of kids in a usual American household
    14
  287. He went from stealing from Wawa to going “Wawa” after stealing!
    14
  288. No more post-pandemic festivals FOREVER!
    14
  289. Fun fact: Wiener dogs (or Dachsund dogs) were originally bred by farmers to hunt down gophers, voles and moles that keep ruining their produce; their slender and short stubby figure makes them idea for chasing these underground critters through the small tunnels
    14
  290. My best bet for these farmers would be to score a baker, grocer, or any worker who specializes in the food business Couples stay together longer if they can benefit from each other’s skills
    14
  291. Finally, a Trump person that actually talked some sense!
    14
  292. This story should definitely dispel the myth that alligators live in sewers
    14
  293. Man, Callisto Protocol must had been very unkind to him during the first level
    14
  294. When Ronnie O Neal III heard about the story of his own son being adopted by a cop, he actually thanked the cop in court for taking care of the very same son he tried to kill
    14
  295. And then his new girlfriend dumps him over fear of being cheated on again
    14
  296. If he lost his left arm instead, he would’ve had a greater advantage in a martial arts fight, because most fighters would try to tackle to the upper right side to overpower their opponent.
    14
  297. Bring out the flamethrowers! That'll teach'em!
    14
  298. I've seen how Detroit: Become Human ends, and depending on your choices, it's either heartbreaking or despairing
    13
  299. Now I want him to add swatsika rims on someone else’s Cybertruck!
    13
  300. I know some Karens can be annoying on the road, but I wouldn't go so far as running them over
    13
  301. So that's how Canadians avoid driving on the rough snow during car chases!
    13
  302. Wasn’t there a horror manga about a girl who was bathed into salt by her parents, because there were slugs coming out of her mouth?
    13
  303. At least in the open water, you don’t have to worry about traffic (unless you encounter a group of whales, otters or other migrating sea mammals)
    13
  304. Here’s my solution: Have one person at the bow seat at each rowboat hold opposite ends of a dense iron chain. Let the chain sink and sag into the water and keep it out of sight as the two rowboats keep parallel to each other as they stroke their oars. When a jet ski rider (skidder) attempts to stride in between the two rowboats, have two guys at their bow seats immediately pull the iron chain tightly, and let Newton’s first law of motion do the work as the skidder gets knocked off the speeding jet ski!
    13
  305. Looks like an expensive recycling operation, but it’s worth every penny
    13
  306. She was expecting to be served with Poena Colodas, but was instead served just a poena
    13
  307. Won’t that make the roads a little too bright for cars to navigate though?
    13
  308. Save it for the church and your personal matters! They don’t want prayers! They want action!
    13
  309. It's time this driver be delivered some justice!
    13
  310. And people wonder why many millennials chose to watch free pirated movies online
    13
  311. And that’s why you don’t feed junk food to kids!
    13
  312. He went from hosting Grave Mysteries to committing grave mistakes!
    13
  313. Logan is actually more mature than the other man-child of the same name!
    13
  314.  @swellyinmybelly1362  I'm just saying that if the shoe was the other foot, the Republicans' heads would explode and right-wing news media would be all over it like rats to a banquet!
    13
  315. See, this is why there should be a company that specializes in the protection of foreign tourists from rabble rousers like these! I call it—- “🐂Taurist Security🐂”
    12
  316. Yet they still care about other buildings being named after war criminals
    12
  317. I bet they had an evil boss with an evil pet cockatoo ordering them around!
    12
  318. Her choice of attire perfectly aligns with the state of her country today
    12
  319. This is revenge against Goldilocks for breaking and entering into THEIR house
    12
  320. Now every time people ask me to take some “copium”, I’ll just go out fishing with my dad for this abundant delicacy!
    12
  321. Drug overdose
    12
  322. I’m planning to dress up as a security guard, so I can deter would-be muggers and scammers abroad from approaching me and my family this summer!
    12
  323. Why waste space for goners like him?
    12
  324. We need to call in a special squad of busters to deal with these ghost cars
    12
  325. At the end of the video, you can hear her squeal like a happy curly-tailed pig!
    12
  326. If I’m forced to be in a crowded pool party like that, I’m bringing in crutches and stilts!
    12
  327. They didn’t just killed a tiger, they killed the Malaysian Ambassador of all tigers!
    12
  328. In the old days, grumpy neighbours would just claim ownership of any ball that lands in their property
    12
  329. Say Adios to Adidas!
    12
  330. It’s always the nicest guys you have to watch out for
    12
  331. And his children will pass on his legacy in a spin-off sequel!
    12
  332. He has no leg to stand on for his defence on that tragedy
    12
  333. Even if it is completely safe to shake hands again, I wouldn’t want to greet anybody like that anymore after seeing how humanity screwed over themselves in the pandemic! Then again, I do need to keep an eye out for murder weapons…
    11
  334. If he had pumped his wife’s belly with lead from a gun instead of tablets, would he be sentenced to just weekends in jail?
    11
  335. You know they have to cover the utilities, the employee wages, the coffee bean supplies and probably also the food licensing expenses, right? As an economics and business finance student, this is reasonable (harsh but reasonable)
    11
  336. So long as you’re protecting the Constitution, we got no grudge against you….
    11
  337. This is why I practice typing my passcode as fast as possible, and use a more complicated password phrase to keep the peepers guessing If you want extra added security (especially while you’re travelling), have a friend or relative look over their shoulder as you access your devices
    11
  338. In China, we have something similar called “Jong” (though Californians and Texans call them “Chinese tamales”). They’re packed with rice, nuts and chopped pork and wrapped in lotus leaves before being boiled.
    11
  339. To be specific, the judge did not blame her in court, but he did openly admit that during a TV interview (still just as egregious, whether you said it on or off the bench)
    11
  340. Of course they got along fine! It’s the same guy who kindly stepped off somebody’s private lawn during a speech about assisting homeowners!
    11
  341. Or be spotted swinging by the towel from his jail cell like Epstein or Castro in spite of being put under 24 hour watch
    11
  342. Popeyes seems to not like rats, and I don’t mean the ones running around in one of their franchises
    11
  343. At least his disguise matches with his personality and character
    11
  344. It's a load of bull
    11
  345. I guess you could say their talent performances had gone viral!
    11
  346. He should post a sign on that porta potty that says “No fireworks and/or firecrackers allowed”
    11
  347. And Far Cry
    11
  348. I like how the temperature differences between Cancun and Texas right now is just a digit flip switch away!
    11
  349.  @meghoughton562  You would need the Goliath bird-eating spider, which can grow to the size of a dinner plate
    11
  350. Did he also won a free lousy T-shirt?
    11
  351. Someone from the Google Map department is going to get fired today!
    11
  352. It’s probably those insurance companies again!
    11
  353. How about we ALSO pass a law to rape the Golden State Killer before he gets executed then?
    10
  354. They even call beer “liquid bread”, which means it’s technically okay to drink during Lent
    10
  355. You’re supposed to run into tight spaces, where the car can’t get to you!
    10
  356. I hope the abuser is going to bear some responsibility when they get to animal court
    10
  357. What a heartfelt story
    10
  358. She’s chasing an O’Driscoll!
    10
  359. Wash the roads with cooking oil, dish soap and jelly, so the tanks won’t have enough traction upon entering!
    10
  360. They shouldn't be shouting "OH YEAH!!" They should be shouting "OH NO, how am I going to fix this broken wall before the police get there?!"
    10
  361. Well, with so many people in the middle-class being paid slashed wages, they were bound to sell off the clothes on their backs to pay for even a day worth’s of food
    10
  362. This went from a Grab and Go to a Catch and Snatch!
    10
  363. It’s a nice change of pace
    10
  364. As a way to enact accountability for their brutality! Good cops like these men would often get outed by bad cops, because they either get tired of being part of the brutal system or were harassed severely to the point of mental breakdown. If there was government funding towards training and specializing police departments on saving, healing and counseling people (instead of spending money on armored APCs, assault rifles and GRENADE LAUNCHERS, and teaching cops how to be cowardly thugs), we wouldn't have these protests against the militarized police!
    10
  365. Does he install giant sticky traps and pitfall traps to immobilize these house pests?
    10
  366. Can I purchase the bathroom used by Jigsaw to chain his victim inside a bathtub?
    10
  367. She must be the most rudest and deadliest Karen we have ever seen on the Internet!
    10
  368. Now it’s Bed Bath and Below!
    10
  369. Lemme know if they have a black box that can record the end of the universe
    9
  370. Now I wanna see memes of COVID survivors throwing burnt oranges into the sea
    9
  371. I guess you could say—-they arrested his sorry sore ass!
    9
  372. If I ever grow old and people call me insane, I tell them to go to hell and tell them they’re not gonna take my money!
    9
  373.  @tammyrawdon3587  How about dark comedy genius?
    9
  374. TSA should be thrilled about this, because at least now they’ll have fewer spots to pat down during security runs
    9
  375. What, did the judge inadvertently grabbed the gun and activated its ID security tag, and the sheriff discharged it when he struggled to grab the gun?
    9
  376. Like John Wick??
    9
  377. I can’t wait for next year when those dads train their daughters for the wrestling competition!
    9
  378.  @ghostwalk2446  If he wanted to defend himself from those protesters, he should've stayed home to begin with!
    9
  379. Who’s next on the vending machine list, orangutans?
    9
  380. She pulled off the sweet escape to prove she ain't no hollaback girl!
    9
  381. Why not just set up a Puritan section?
    9
  382. FINALLY, they can live up to their pregnant (fetish) fantasies!
    9
  383. This is the most hardest and deadliest creature ever encountered! The bear didn’t had a chance!
    9
  384. Gee, I wonder why Premier Ford of Ontario (where I live) doesn’t want to issue vaccine cards!
    9
  385. When missing the boat actually turned out to be a positive margin of error!
    9
  386. This isn’t Victorian era science
    9
  387. "2020 is long from over" Well, he is right about that, but not for the same reasons he think why
    9
  388. Sumo Santa would’ve been more fitting, considering his body figure
    9
  389. Ironic that she crashed and died at a spot where she could’ve been treated immediately in an emergency!
    9
  390. The Boulder takes issue with the Fire Nation and will fight to keep his fans safe from the inferno!
    9
  391. He really had a huge axe to grind!
    8
  392. I BETTER not find excuses about the women's choice of clothing in this comment section!
    8
  393. The mom went from domestic coordinator to agent contract coordinator
    8
  394. Save those tears and flowers for the Ukrainian people who couldn’t escape the siege!
    8
  395. I think I might had seen something like that on Last of Us Part II
    8
  396. And now the Israelis will take that last picture out of context by saying Hamas was taking Israeli babies about of incubators
    8
  397. My dad actually once joked about this back when 3d printers were in their early stages of development, and now it is becoming a reality
    8
  398. This is the closest thing you can get to a Pegasus
    8
  399. One tiny step for Rocketman, one giant leap towards Homefront
    8
  400. WAIT, they NEVER had a black bachelor on the show for 40 SEASONS??!!
    8
  401. Cissy was determined to not live up to her name
    8
  402. It’s only a matter of time before one of them learn about “the wink”
    8
  403. We get it, Japan! You like tentacles! No need to rub it in our faces!!
    8
  404. If they wanted to be true Barbiecore, they could go for some plastic surgery to enhance their proportional figures
    8
  405. We have got to start installing snare traps above the ceiling
    8
  406. I want him to re-enact that mental breakdown where he called a golf ball a "little white ass" before beating up the spectators on live television
    8
  407. We’re not running a mine, Colonel.
    8
  408. She sounds like Phyllis from MLP: The New Generation
    8
  409. Or it's the other way around
    8
  410. Too bad he could’ve used that money for his therapy sessions
    8
  411. There should be a short story written about this experience!
    8
  412. Too bad her daughter may meet the same fate, considering the state of America’s gun laws
    7
  413. Okay. I’m calling it! She totally cheated on her driving test!
    7
  414. That kid really did not want to fork the vehicle over!
    7
  415. Or perhaps an opportunistic cash crop advantage
    7
  416. At this point, it’s much cheaper to buy locally than to order from abroad
    7
  417. I hate to see how they would react to someone with a mechanical Curtis calculator or a briefcase phone
    7
  418. Strange of them to give a lion’s name to a goat… Then again, giving him an elephant’s name would be no better…
    7
  419. In the far future, we may be reunited with our lost digital cryptocurrency accounts in the hypernet someday
    7
  420. Don’t you mean her bear?
    7
  421. Euthanasia?! I may not be for people having the right to bear arms, but I am for rights to arm bears!
    7
  422. And getting so bottled up!
    7
  423. How do they make sure they don't accidentally switched them to the REAL thing?
    7
  424. Dammit, I wanted to grow cannabis in that pothole!
    7
  425. Now we got geriatrics doling out their emotions with bullets??! Someone forgot to restock their medicine cabinet...
    7
  426. He’s gaining more followers and fans than Winnie the Pooh!
    7
  427. It’s like this country is rewinding backwards in time
    7
  428. She could’ve at least rephrase it differently!
    7
  429. Even after I got vaccinated, the Aussie ad still convinced me to get a future booster shot
    7
  430. I just hope Canada doesn't follow...
    7
  431. Never seen that big of a crowd ever since the Szechuan sauce craze!
    7
  432. She’s going to name her future daughter Taylor when she grows up!
    7
  433. Sounds like she accidentally called InstaCartel
    7
  434. Ahhhhh, it is like a Karen-free paradise!
    7
  435. Life in plastic is fantastic!
    7
  436. This Just In: I Love You, Son
    7
  437. So she was walking the talk the whole time
    7
  438. Family
    7
  439. Use this to disperse crowds protesting against lockdowns
    7
  440. Stop giving conspiracy theorists more reasons to not socialize with other normies!!
    7
  441. He almost forced their marriage down the tubes!
    7
  442. This is why I often go through life assuming that everyone in the world already hates me. That way, I won’t get too disappointed about rejection and only feel a sense of indifference any time someone disagrees or express disdain for me. If anyone were to actually give me praise, it makes the approval much more satisfying.
    7
  443. Do they allow brain patients to play video games during surgery?
    7
  444. This is why I don’t fall for those cancer kid donation ads
    7
  445. Went in to witness a fire, only to spark a bigger firestorm
    7
  446. Sue the squirrel too for letting the acorn fall too!
    7
  447. Man, the prototype robots from Horizon Zero Dawn looked pretty awesome in its heyday
    7
  448. His career took a nosedive, yet he still remains in high spirits even now
    7
  449. Something strange is going on in this NYC neighbourhood
    7
  450. I thought it's because of the new Indigenous graves found in Canada
    7
  451. They'll have to kill the rhinos first because no one likes measuring radioactivity near an actively over-reactive rhino
    7
  452. Worst punishment they could face may be a $25,000 to $50,000 fine, OR up to 5 years in prison
    6
  453. If this was Australia, one of the cops would’ve try to do a boxing match against the kangroo
    6
  454. Italians from the ferry industry: MALEDETTO, CAMBIAMENTO CLIMATICO!
    6
  455. This is why shows like this come with warnings about the content being traumatizing to some viewers
    6
  456. What’s next, a recreation of George Flloyd’s eight minutes of terror before death?!
    6
  457. I know I have anger issues in the past, but this just goes too far even for me.
    6
  458. 1:30 That’s one way of playing chicken with an M80
    6
  459. Let’s hope this doesn’t get smashed up by terrorists as well
    6
  460. Dammit, Bart Baker! No more Taylor Swift music video parody promotions!!
    6
  461. At least he has a legitimate excuse of not remembering how to play. I stopped playing a long time ago after entering high school.
    6
  462. At least they got a free hot shower
    6
  463. He's totally in the s&&t now!
    6
  464. This is the closest they will get to a Saw experience
    6
  465. I like to pay for an oil change at this boss' auto shop with pennies!
    6
  466. Everything is so 80s, even the lack of safety regulations!
    6
  467. What if the female astronaut is pregnant? Can the suit accommodate a baby belly?
    6
  468. So this is what an Eastern European version of Enders Game look like
    6
  469. Somewhere in Texas, there's a nitpicking ninny complaining that the boy does not have a business license for that lemonade stand
    6
  470.  @foxhound13  Jefferson said that cider from those apples were the best that he ever had
    6
  471. I’m waiting for him to post draft lyrics highlighting his experiences in boot camp
    6
  472. My special education teacher did the same thing when her daughters refused to buckle into their seatbelts during the car trip.  After slamming on his brakes to send his daughters flying forward, he told them “If we had actually gone into a real accident, you would’ve fared a lot worse!”
    6
  473.  @troyhyatt7568  Maybe he was being too rough on it
    6
  474. Even if there wasn’t any actual physical nudity involved and it is a machine that done the image generating, this is still just as egregious as drawing up or photoshopping nude images and spreading them around publicly without the students’ consent
    6
  475.  @heypaul7646  I'm guessing no one in your family paid much attention to you during your childhood, huh?
    6
  476. Imagine if the mother-in-law had a gun underneath her pillow. This would've been a totally different story
    6
  477. Never get drunk on your own fermented junk in the trunk!
    6
  478. She never said that! She said respect the locals and nature with better etiquette! Stop twisting her words!
    6
  479. If this keeps on happening, there's bound to be some blood being spilled on the sidewalks----and I don't mean from the joggers
    6
  480. Mark Rober: How many times do we have to teach you this lesson, you people?!
    6
  481. The new Goat Simulator sequel looks promising
    6
  482. SCREW THIS! I can probably wipe out the pandemic way better than the president AND his crew combined within a year!
    6
  483. I can’t wait for him to record that on his goggles!
    6
  484. I heard the judge also told Carter that she cannot recieve royalties from movie or documentary makers for using her image or character, so that she cannot profit from the tragedy
    6
  485. Biden's broken foot is nothing compared to the de-limbed survivors of the massive bombing campaign in the Middle East, in which he authorized in a pro-war bill vote.
    6
  486. If they didn’t had a home to run to, they all would’ve become bear chow already. The worst thing you could do in a bear counter is run away, since it will only make you look like delectable prey to chase after. The best strategies in counteracting bear encounters is to join arms with your closest companion or charge at the bear with loud noises. That’ll make the bear think he is dealing with a more bold and larger creature, and will most likely retreat in response.
    6
  487. She only turned herself in, because she knew that if people find out where she lived, they'll drag her feet to the top of the tallest skyscraper and push her off the edge of the top roof
    6
  488. I wonder if the toilet came with the extra nuggets
    6
  489. That’s adorable…. Now get back to work on delivering those human babies!
    6
  490. Reminds me of that endearing 4chan story about a war veteran whose birthday party poster gained international attention
    6
  491. I would’ve built a watch tower near the student residence or go on a voluntary patrol on my free time
    6
  492. Reminds me of a Calvin and Hobbes comic, when Calvin and his tiger Hobbes rolled a giant snowball and after Calvin told his friend that’s just one of his toes, Hobbes immediately stocked him into the snowball and left him stuck there throughout the whole day
    6
  493. You can't prove a negative
    6
  494. Reminds me of that Drake and Josh episode where Josh attempted to flirt with a girl as part of a bet, only to discover she has several allergies when he attempted to invite her out to eat I’m starting to believe she wasn’t lying, just to avoid dating Josh
    6
  495. Life of Pi meets real life---sort of
    6
  496. Call in the Mountain, and I might even consider watching it
    6
  497. This only works in the UK, dude
    6
  498. My dad actually was the only competent electrician in his isolated Chinese village back when he was only a pre-teen. He had to climb up the wooden poles to fix the transformers and power lines every time the electricity went out! Fortunately, he immigrated to Canada, got an education and became a successful middle-class contractor.
    6
  499. Is this going to become a family heirloom?
    6
  500. Please also set up a plaque saying “Christian Glass - He may be a loose cannon, but it was cops who lit his fuse and sent the shards flying”
    6
  501. Ride like the wind, dammit!
    6
  502. Maybe the younger baby was actually having a tantrum over the bigger baby crying, and we adults we’re the fools for not addressing the little baby’s concerns effectively The smaller baby should be awarded with compensation for this negative uneventful experience!
    6
  503. If he tried to do that in a mafia-run pizzeria, he would’ve been gunned down immediately and the goons would been cleared of any charges
    6
  504. I’m guessing they don’t want to meet God that early and decided to speed up the process of the ransom deal themselves. The Haitians got their money and the missionaries got their release. End of story….for now…
    5
  505. He put in enough concentration to escape his homeless encampment and seek hail from his community for his efforts to change the city
    5
  506.  @gentle285 And then the cat charged the dog with battery
    5
  507. Have you tried adding some umami sauce and salt?
    5
  508. And raw sausages
    5
  509. Just set up curtains covered in chlorine of lime like the British Parliament did during the Great Stink
    5
  510. We need to abolish privileges to ensure equality among both physical labourers and high-class workers, so that everyone can work at the hospitals, regardless of their status
    5
  511. Let’s hope that new View co-host doesn’t indulge us on cringey stories about her father
    5
  512. Great for mass producing propaganda!
    5
  513. I like to see her under pressure when she gets interrupted by an emu!
    5
  514. I wonder if Matt Walsh is gonna take this opportunity to blame the epidemic on the parents
    5
  515.  @comradericefarmerhao2269  I don’t stand with EVERYONE in the world! I don’t even like living on this stupid planet!
    5
  516. @Kevin the Duck That projection was so bright, it must've blinded you and stopped you from seeing your own ego slideshow
    5
  517. We need to stop batting the Breeze around this sextortion racket!
    5
  518. They should totally make a horror movie about this
    5
  519. A similar tragedy like this occurred in Britain. The shooter is now cowering in fear from would-be hitman in prison after gangsters placed a bounty on the child killer’s head.
    5
  520. Oh now you plead the twenty fifth!
    5
  521. But will it withstand people jumping on the bed throughout the night?!
    5
  522. God forgives! The police don't!
    5
  523. I'm just waiting for that hoverboard to explode into a ball of fire!
    5
  524. I guess that makes United Airlines Jafar
    5
  525. Not bad for a breakfast product that was once originally meant to be dog food
    5
  526. Suddenly, the CIA has find their new toy for their torture chambers!
    5
  527. You can’t steal from her vehicle! That’s the repo man’s job!
    5
  528. She won’t be getting her happily ever after like that Japanese princess
    5
  529.  @cy4n_knight_q8  "Lemme smash" Bros Ultimate
    5
  530. He really lived down to his name, surviving a headshot would like that
    5
  531. I hope they talked about the good times over a basket of bulletproof muffins!
    5
  532. 50 bucks say they'll ALL be in the hospitals when the Delta Variants hits
    5
  533. This is like the sad version of the Yanny/Laurel recording
    5
  534. It’s Larry Nasser all over again!
    5
  535. No milling whatsoever!
    5
  536. Plot twist: The dog was actually escorting the ambulance to the nearest hospital
    5
  537.  @luckyanimationideas2448  We don't even know what he looks like
    5
  538. Their milkshakes brings all the boys to the graveyard, and damn right, they’re deadlier than yours!
    5
  539.  @CosmicLogic-ts5vr  So you rather vote republicans that would allow every innocent person be targeted for being slightly suspicious and having their constitutional rights violated by every corrupt public servant?
    5
  540.  @C00k1eM0nst3r  Don't you mean Ted Cruz?
    5
  541. Do the dogs read books for the kids in return with one of those special speaking paw-buttons?
    5
  542. If this crime wave keeps rising, the whole USA would overtake India as the leading smog dystopia of the world!
    5
  543. It’s called a security camera for a reason
    5
  544. Now he is free to travel at Godspeed into the highest of heavens
    5
  545. I actually like Times Square to be this barren and quiet at this time of year.
    5
  546. Don’t you think this would paint a big target for bullies?
    5
  547. They won’t let you watch TV because they don’t want you to gaze at the results of your actions for the sake of glory!
    5
  548. Everyone involved in the recording, reporting and posting of this video will never be seen again in a desperate attempt to hide what may be a possible covert op mission!
    5
  549. Why didn't he immigrated to Canada?!
    5
  550. Did he just used that same technique as Princess Theresa??!
    5
  551. This is a courtroom, not a football match
    5
  552. My guess is he got his mistress to take helicopter lessons to plan an aerial escape
    5
  553. Make this a clothing-optional nightclub, and you might increase the energy input by a whopping 69%!
    5
  554. That’s impossible! Pigs don’t engage in cannibalism!
    5
  555.  @equarg  I didn't say the effect was immediate!
    5
  556. One of these days, we’ll turn Russia’s oligarch yachts into our own Western playhouse
    5
  557. As a man who appreciates ponies in both cartoon format and in reality, this really yanks my bridle!
    5
  558. Should we call him "The Jaybird Bandit Killer"?
    5
  559. Has he not heard of a tow truck or trailer truck?
    5
  560. 2:40 "A" grade restaurant my a$$!!
    5
  561.  @Jenn_80  If you think in terms of saving money of having to repair corroding steel infrastructure caused by excess salt, then yes.
    5
  562. Maybe if you had that kind of surgery after your graduation, Mt Lady would stop treating you as her personal maid
    5
  563. I just hope her students won’t admonish or poke fun of her for her past party attitude
    5
  564. Next prank, he pretends to fall off a cliff to his death!
    5
  565. Well, time to bring out the UV rays and deep cleaning engine!
    5
  566. This is like that Victorian-era practice of giving kids their own salt cellar, which is actually bromide salt that keeps people calm when consumed (and therefore well-behaved)
    5
  567. Finally, an honest shtick who doesn't beg for forgiveness
    5
  568. I bet there’s going to be a military CEO that will delete all of its footage, thereby setting the stage for Horizon Zero Dawn situation
    5
  569. God didn’t taught the interior designer how to fly the plane! The air traffic controllers did!
    5
  570. Let's get ready for dodgeball everybody! Popular vs Unpopular!!
    5
  571. You guys act like you’d been stuck in a time bubble for the past 40 years
    5
  572. Next sequel, I want to see “Ecstasy Bear”
    5
  573. Rah rah ah-ah-ah! Ro mah ro-mah-mah Gaga ooh-la-la! Want your bad romance
    5
  574. I’m guessing the stabbing were part of his “research” to see if the detectives could correctly identify the killer’s profile
    5
  575. Why not hire Shaolin monks to become flight attendants? They know how to descalate AND kick ass in conflicts!
    5
  576. Delivering justice AND the pizza in 30 minutes, or it’s free!
    5
  577.  @lawrup  It's based off Biden's reputation as someone who gets too handsy with women, which then became a meme amongst young political watchers
    5
  578.  @einsteiniumconsumer3486  It’s a compliment
    5
  579. 0:18 Easy. The metal chassis and plating around your Jeep acted as a cage that redirected the lightning away from your bodies, since metal offers the least amount of resistance (and higher conductance)
    5
  580. Tomorrow, we’ll have flying….oh wait, they’re already here? Okay. Next up, commercial interstellar rocket cars!
    5
  581. She’s going to a whole new world out there!
    5
  582. Did she used to date a giant who lives on top of a beanstalk?
    5
  583. From OnlyFans to OnlyFelons!
    5
  584. Judging by the way Smollet acted out in court, I wouldn't blame the guard for staging his death as Smollet slept on his cot
    4
  585. We need a Robocop! I would buy his protection for a dollar!
    4
  586. The city must survive, but the party must go on! Hope Rises Greatly
    4
  587. Something tells me that house fire WASN’T an accident…
    4
  588. How successful was it?
    4
  589. You know what really grinds my gears? Not including a clip of him being followed by a tuba player
    4
  590. Note: The name of the holiday "Purim", comes from the Hebrew word for "lots", as in a lottery (which refers to how Haman the viceroy randomly picked the date to execute his devious plan)
    4
  591. Now he won’t have to live in fear of being brutalized by the police for failing to obey instructions!
    4
  592. I can't WAIT for Bernie to crash in to someone's wedding someday!
    4
  593. If I learned anything from high school science class, it’s that volcanic eruptions plus sun-blocking sulfuric smoke plus upcoming winter EQUALS possible snowball Earth!
    4
  594. BEWARE!!
    4
  595. I was expecting the band to play “Please don’t stop the music” during the chaos
    4
  596. It's official! The True Sons faction from Tom Clancy's Division 2 had laid their foundations in America!
    4
  597. Paragliding on a boat sounds much more safer. At least when something goes wrong, you have something to break your fall!
    4
  598. Plot Twist: Denzel Washington couldn’t make it because he was too busy equalizing justice against mobsters, traffickers and hit men all over the country
    4
  599. I wouldn’t even be surprised if my dad was revealed to be guilty of the same crime. I had been dealing with some inner emotional aggressions lately…
    4
  600. She almost met her otter defeat!
    4
  601. Did they charge the cat the delivery fare?
    4
  602. The hunter has become the hunted! And the law finally caught up with him!
    4
  603. They should do an American government-funded scientific study over this phenomenon
    4
  604. Maybe the bull is gay
    4
  605. So when an owl does it, it’s beautiful… But if I do it, IT’S HARASSMENT?!
    4
  606. Hmmm, perhaps Black Hole Bertie and his toss ball buddies should start feeding their Wooly cows some Algae Lager instead of that purple berry stuff…
    4
  607. If he’s a former shell, then he must be in Hell!
    4
  608.  @WaterspoutsOfTheDeep  You know what will STOP Gaza from relying on those questionable tunnels? Stop the embargo on humanitarian supplies into Gaza, so that the Palestinians won't have to rely on the terrorists and smugglers for their basic daily needs! How is it possible that the Israelis have the technology to fire block-busting rockets from thousands of kilometers, yet they can't afford to send in special-ops soldiers, investigators and spies to target terrorist hideouts and rocket launch areas with extreme precision without risking civilian casualties?!
    4
  609. But at least he was willing to let his son be adopted
    4
  610. Makes you wonder what’s hidden inside other LGBTQ’s closets these days…..and I don’t mean their preferences
    4
  611. Trump wouldn’t gave Biden the same courtesy if he loses again
    4
  612. This should be shown in every police training video
    4
  613. I'm surprised her dad didn't start performing a musical number while he tried to toss the fryer into the pool
    4
  614. And that he was also held by the diddy!
    4
  615. Russian gulags had better camp conditions than this—-and I’ve seen prisoners getting their asses impaled on long handles for snitching!
    4
  616. As an added bonus, since the plane was over USA territory, Nolan got instant American citizenship status!
    4
  617. So basically, it’s American Perestroika
    4
  618. Couldn’t you just bring in one of your Hazmat suits?!
    4
  619. I am the officer of the lawn!!!
    4
  620. Good one, boss!
    4
  621. Foolish man should’ve do some sort of ritual that allows him to either possess a schoolgirl’s body, like that movie serial killer
    4
  622. This memorial is going to get vandalized by a few conspiracy nuts weeks from now…
    4
  623. Well, at least he got his wish of going viral
    4
  624. The Simpsons did it
    4
  625. You gotta be an airhead to steal those pods out of the blue
    4
  626. Didn’t Woodrow’s wife stepped in when her husband became paralyzed?
    4
  627. If I had a nickel for every time you say that…
    4
  628. I would’ve chose beagles, which was the type of dog breed John Wick first had
    4
  629. So much for the American dream (or should I say nightmare)
    4
  630. Someone in the crowd should’ve been their mama bear instead of gawking like a scurry of squirrels
    4
  631. Something tells me this "Boy Scout Leader" didn't just took this job to encourage the millennial youth
    4
  632. I bet the meat they used actually came from an endangered lion from a Zambia sanctuary
    4
  633. If a topiary is a collection of different plants in a large garden, then is a toxiary a special kind of deadly topiary?
    4
  634. 1:41 You also have no mobility in your legs. That’s why we have Zoom and Skype.
    4
  635. Can they dress up as Chinese knock-offs of famous TV and movie characters though?
    4
  636. She came from a very Smart family
    4
  637. Where’s the Tomb Raider Barbie?
    4
  638. John Wick could've used this while he was on the run!
    4
  639. Just build a columbarium like the one from Cyberpunk 2077!
    4
  640. Just because they’re no longer the Prince groom and the Prince bride doesn’t mean they lost all of their notoriety and public image!
    4
  641. You see, THIS is what a true second-amendment patriot should look like: A WELL-REGULATED militia who knows how to properly handle a firearm
    4
  642. They really need to develop automatic chargers that have built-in breakers to prevent these batteries from overheating!
    4
  643. I think they had accidentally invented a new subterranean transportation system!
    4
  644. This looks like they carved it out from the honeycomb of an alien hive
    4
  645. And apocalyptic ice cream and Mac&Cheese stashes!
    4
  646. From down the hill to down in his luck!
    4
  647. Like Sophia's dogs!
    4
  648. I can't believe Trump exploited this moment to further his agenda! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbTHcK4fHFs
    4
  649. A full-hearted story for a half-hearted boy
    4
  650. Why didn't they call his dog Krypto?
    4
  651. Finally, a good use of a battering ram that doesn’t involving raiding somebody’s house at the wrong address!
    4
  652. This is why I go for the old tradition of burying my treasure in a remote location and drawing only a vague sketched of the treasure spot as the only map (no instructions and no directions)
    4
  653. From dancing with wolves to preying with wolves
    4
  654. This is why you should always look up and study on the political situation of your go-to destination before you depart! You'll never know if you'll get trapped, beaten up or arrested during a climatic breaking point in the country's history!
    4
  655. I heard in Europe that most parents would leave their babies in their carriage (literally parked outside of the restaurant walls) before heading in to dine
    4
  656. Talk about dressing them up to kill!
    4
  657. Goddamn Peggies!
    4
  658. Imagine if the goat was crying for help, but was ignored as it gets eaten by a wolf!
    4
  659.  @alice_agogo  Then say goodbye to your living paycheck, sick leave, workers’ compensation, health plan coverage, holiday pay, pension…
    4
  660. The whale was just trying to find a Na’vi soulmate to neurally bond with, and figured the kayaker wasn’t the right fit
    4
  661. Oh for Pete’s Sake! Who the h311 cares?!
    4
  662. Ironically, the fire chief is probably thinking of using fire to purge the Red Plague
    4
  663. What they need is a maintenance hub to reduce the squalor accumulating within the school
    4
  664. You had ONE job, Santa!
    4
  665. Showgirls should start learning karate as part of their job requirement
    4
  666. "Too much sexual energy into the Grinch"? I don't hear YOU guys complaining about Martha from that Grinch movie!
    4
  667. Hard candy is for adults, not kids
    4
  668.  @gerraldyovindi7980  He literally killed an American 16-year-old of Yemeni descent with an ordered drone strike in Yemen back in 2011!
    4
  669.  @novauri  Cracked.com, Adam Ruins Everything, and Today I Found Out
    3
  670. Mad that she wasn't able to fix that Microsoft hardware, brah??
    3
  671. I think watched an anime episode that had a similar cursed hot springs…
    3
  672. This is why I hate camping….
    3
  673. Now that’s what I call a successful toxic clean-up!
    3
  674. Now why would you disturb his lazy pool time??
    3
  675. First they’re brushing their teeth with charcoal, and now they’re eating it while it’s still raw?! There’s better ways to clean your teeth than just turning your dentures into carbonized lacquer
    3
  676. They can also use naked female mannequins for 1/8 of the research costs!
    3
  677. Did she at least bought the mom some cigarettes?
    3
  678. Why do dumb criminals keep relying on Google to look up on ways to commit the perfect crime? It’s called the deep web for a reason!
    3
  679. The trailer for Fatman looks so real!
    3
  680. We already got a document-series about this story. It’s called “Orphan”.
    3
  681. First the Golden Sate Killer, and now this
    3
  682. David Crenshaw: That's my dictator!
    3
  683. Damn, I was hoping that the Segway would become the next futuristic chase vehicle!
    3
  684. I can’t WAIT for my parents to drink their bottle of Corona Beer they bought from Mexico after 50 years!
    3
  685. At this point, Elon is going to invest in a commercial stealth airliner
    3
  686. They just climbed over here for the salt content on their shingles
    3
  687.  @Seek1878  That”s still asking for more troubling lawsuits
    3
  688. Easter bunny’s gonna dole out some payback someday to whoever started that fire!
    3
  689. My mom wanted to buy me an electric car. I think I'll hold onto that offer until they figure out how to protect their cars from rogue Watchdogs
    3
  690.  @denzelpardillo1181  I’m trying…
    3
  691.  ZENTROL  It's literally the bottom most issue concerning Americans, according to a poll
    3
  692. City folks just don’t get it!
    3
  693. This is not bright eye and bushy tail
    3
  694. That’s enough horsing around for one day
    3
  695. Next time, just buy an indoor trampoline
    3
  696. What the hell did they think they’re robbing, the freakin’ circus posse?!!
    3
  697. This must be a grande pain to bake
    3
  698. "Do your research, dumb@$$" That's what she's here for!
    3
  699. Someone needs to fit his skateboard with a sonar beeper!
    3
  700.  @Ligmanutz  Oh sorry, I meant to say shuttlecock
    3
  701. CAPITAL!
    3
  702. Now give the Jamaicans their reparations!!
    3
  703. Can we have PSAs on how to survive an alien invasion?
    3
  704. Dammit, Planetina!
    3
  705.  @zackjack5546  Dude, I LITERALLY saw him thank the officer during the trial!
    3
  706.  @fernmelder5594  At least it beats a Segway!
    3
  707.  @truthseekerofYHVH  Not unless I let my fists do the talking!
    3
  708. The excavators probably cost more than the stolen ATM loot
    3
  709. Can we mark our graves with how-to guides for video game enthusiasts from now on?
    3
  710. Ironic that the black police officer has a last name "White"
    3
  711. No wonder the pubic health inspector got so aggressive at the teens over a squeaky Bird scooter
    3
  712. He could at least include training wheels!
    3
  713. Didn’t the Supreme Court officially declared that flag burning (even an American one) is considered protected freedom of speech and expression?
    3
  714. One of the kids actually had deaf parents, meaning that they couldn't hear the torturous screams and cries for help as they sat in the waiting room
    3
  715.  @christinemeleg4535  Hungarian Revolution, 1956
    3
  716. If he truly believes in the power of Satan, then he knows he has brought hell into his own house
    3
  717. This is a courtroom, not a street pub! Don’t take advantage of a commemorating holiday to create drama in a trial
    3
  718. What’s next, a Twinkie?!
    3
  719. Is this their way of being woke during the rise of anti-Asian sentiment?
    3
  720. They can also recycle heating energy using the underground sewer systems too!
    3
  721. Aside from the dictator himself, I don’t hear people complain about Manuel Noreiga’s depiction in Call of Duty Black Ops
    3
  722. This isn’t one of your choice-based android vs human video games!
    3
  723. I mean, his stage name is literally translated into “Good Joy”
    3
  724. Also great for keeping out walking dead legless zombies!
    3
  725. At least the robbers who raided a sexual assault helpline program had the decency to return the computers and posted an apology note after realizing the true purpose of the equipment
    3
  726. I'm calling it! Orthodox Christians bribed God into rigging the game in the favor of the goalie's opponents!!
    3
  727. Now her new acrostic poem consists of: Gory ending Leashed to her dog Open to wild attacks Ravaged by a raptor Incapable of swimming Ascended to heaven
    3
  728. Good thing I made myself two different charcoal-filtering gas masks!
    3
  729. Trust me, you’re gonna see a LOT of these when the water wars begin!
    3
  730. I thought that was a blunderbuss pistol! I seriously thought the two cars would have a broadside cannon fight on the road!
    3
  731. Ahhh, so that’s why those steamed hams I ordered looked like they came from Krusty Burger!
    3
  732. That’s oxymoronic
    3
  733. Is that the Grandmother of John Wick??!!
    3
  734. Looks like Lady Gaga would have to rely on using an autonomous drone to walk her dogs
    3
  735. He ran away because he didn't want to stick around for the cops to check if he had taken any unsecured jewelry!
    3
  736. Now all we need is a frozen school uniform and you'll get yourself a Hagakure waifu!
    3
  737. Bah dah bah bah bah! I’m hatin’ it!
    3
  738. Nobody told them they were going to have a live excercise!
    3
  739. I wonder if Cambodia also have noodlers too like the Southern US
    3
  740. Correction: It’s not revealing enough!!
    3
  741. This is why my parents sometimes still rely on paper maps when they!re out travelling
    3
  742. OBJECTION!!!
    3
  743. That deer must’ve been Lvl 100 to survive that kind of damage! He’s tougher than all the previous Skyrim adventurers!
    3
  744. That looks nothing like an omelette!
    3
  745. I don’t care how luxurious the cruise ship is! I don’t even want to spend even one day on the same ship with everybody else!
    3
  746.  @erikvitela4849  Corporate leech!
    3
  747. I would have just carrying around a shower curtain with hoop support (or perhaps an umbrella)
    3
  748. Now to wait for the news about people picketing the officer’s and McDonald worker’s house…
    3
  749. They're nature's sea Karens!
    3
  750. >Flashbacks of the Dylan Roof massacring spree intensifies Pastor Ndikumana: Never anger the man of the cloth!
    3
  751. Soon, they're gonna end up living in the hype house to getting banged up in the jail house!
    3
  752. On the bright side, at least they have their own towering edge pool!
    3
  753. They’ll just burn and destroy whatever storage system they had in the car, like how some criminals burn SIM cards to cover their cellphone tracks
    3
  754.  @stanbalo  The problem is that some people in bad relationships don’t want to believe their partner has bad intentions and choose to ignore the warning signs, or fail to see the red flags, until it is too late A series like this will help improve people’s intuition about their partners, so they can leave early before it gets any worse
    3
  755. Or that My Little Pony Tell Your Tale episode
    3
  756. I guess his former student didn’t handle the pressure of his teachings very well
    3
  757. At least their accident didn’t result in the release of numerous toxic chemicals
    3
  758. It’s no wonder the Chinese use them as guard animals!
    3
  759. So they can survive automatic gunfire from a jeep, but they can’t handle lassos around their necks?!
    3
  760.  @TheMissingDislikeButton  False equivalency! I didn’t say tell the subway passengers to buy their own protection!
    3
  761. What's next, a Vtuber girl filter?!
    3
  762. What’s this?! A volunteer rookie officer of the law getting swarmed by angry aggressive bees?! My colonial army of friendly bees should fix that!!
    3
  763. The predator has become the prey!
    3
  764. Reminds me of Chester’s dad from Fairly Oddparents, who built a sand trailer and demand the kids to “GET OUTTA MY SAND LAWN!”
    3
  765.  @druseyfirecaster  Either way, people will crowd around them wherever they go
    3
  766. Sometimes, when you spend too much time in the desk or in retirement, you tend to misjudge a few things, like weighing the difference between a loaded gun and empty
    3
  767. That’s like a witness suing a driver for traumatizing him/er after being involved in a horrible traffic accident
    3
  768. What theme will they think of next? Perhaps a bombed shelter!
    3
  769. If you can’t take the heat…
    3
  770. He must be the great great great grandson of Micah Bell!
    3
  771. It’s only a matter of time before they end up messing with the wrong pirate gang and get their precious booty plundered!
    3
  772. I’ve seen Detroit schools that were in way better conditions, and that’s even including the shrooms growing on the walls!
    3
  773. Can they use the scrap metal to make a stack of Bastard guns?
    3
  774. It’s Pipsqeak’s long lost cousin!
    3
  775. Looks like she has finally logged off for the last time
    3
  776. So when will we have android police guards patrolling the streets?
    3
  777. All that’s missing is the lion, a hippo and a giraffe! Just remember to also watch out for the old Russian lady!
    3
  778. He picked a wrong time to leave God's sanctuary
    3
  779. Alligators have privacy rights too, you know?
    3
  780. Imagine if Deadpool suddenly appears to join in on the protest
    3
  781. Maybe there was someone ELSE in the higher-up who didn't want this scandal to blow outta the water!
    3
  782. Good, I rather he not take up important space for someone else with a more dire medical condition!
    3
  783. You know the punishment wouldn’t be as severe if it was the other way around, both in parties and in sex.
    3
  784. Damn you, Dedsec!
    3
  785. If they had something like that in America, every one would have to bring homemade steel umbrellas to protect themselves from the oncoming bulletstorm
    3
  786. First female governor AND the first woman to achieve her position by a technicality!
    3
  787. You know you guys can make your own pro-environment version of Les Miserables, right?
    3
  788. Such dramas in the Bahamas!
    3
  789. Even if it was a cow, why would you even ride your bike towards her?
    3
  790. This won’t stop Americans from aborting. They’ll just move someplace else where the procedure is legal. Even if you made it illegal to travel abroad to have your abortion, it’s more likely they’ll stay at their new haven and never return back to the fallen promise land.
    3
  791. He’s gonna go from Gilgo to Gil-Ty!
    3
  792. No Shirt, No Empathy!
    3
  793. Someone’s getting their “I Almost Got My Whole Team Killed” badge!
    3
  794. What a cell-out boy!
    3
  795. Not unless you pre-expose yourself in the long cold winter hours beforehand to build up immunity
    3
  796. I can’t wait for someone to start jumping into Lake Ontario for a year!
    3
  797. This is why I always check the pockets before throwing in the laundry
    3
  798. That’s more money earned than working at the OTHER kind of red light district!
    3
  799.  @brimmed  It's probably just culturally-ingrained but justifiable paranoia
    3
  800. I feel like she’s more in a jam
    3
  801. Wait, I thought the Olympics has always been joyless ever since the athletes stopped getting paid their fair rewards
    3
  802. Dear Right-wing Snowflakes, If you're going to go all crazy about complaining against George Ffloyd's criminal past in this comment section, then stop watching this video already and watch something else!
    3
  803. Next, I want him to dress up as a superhero named “Crossing Guardian”!
    3
  804. Guess he felt embarrassed by that failed escape attempt
    3
  805. Next up: Owner eats dog’s vaccination papers as revenge
    3
  806. If you wanna go autumn sight seeing, go there by foot and maybe hold a “Running of the Leaves” festival
    3
  807. I think I might had accidentally seen rule 34 art similar to this
    3
  808. They parked their car into his territory and got his mountain goat
    3
  809. Does he also make one for pet cougars that can be paw-operated?
    3
  810. Guess they ended up being the ones who got knocked
    3
  811. At least call the school to give them eight days worth of homework to keep them occupied!
    3
  812. I call this race car “The Sewer Slider”
    3
  813. Why kill him with bullets when you could kill him with kindness?!
    3
  814. Enough with the goddamn monoliths! That joke was so 2020!
    3
  815. X: Just like his former wife!
    3
  816. She almost ended up in the mile die club
    3
  817. Now all we need is an emotional adventure video game in desperate need of a depressing soundtrack!
    3
  818. In war, not everyone is a soldier...
    3
  819.  @lawrup  It's a joke!
    3
  820. TIMMAAAYYY!!!
    3
  821. His milkshakes brings all the boys and the girls Damn right, they're better than yours!
    3
  822. Imagine if Trump was served court papers during one of his speech rallies
    3
  823. This is not the type of bomb disposal you should be freaking out over
    3
  824. He’s definitely the Spy who Saved her!
    3
  825. No more practicing fire hoop leaping in the trailer cabin anymore!
    3
  826. AND they have free healthcare!
    3
  827. Australia has better test delivery service, and that’s even accounting for the confusing complexes, duplexes and flats at Centenary Park!
    3
  828. Reminds me when me and my mom had to help grandma with setting up her new Tv in her apartment
    3
  829.  Anti-infleuncer  At least he’s not a murderer!
    3
  830. That rat has more honor and integrity than all of the Khmer Rouge combined
    3
  831. Here's my advice: Take summer self-defense classes
    3
  832. Now she knows what it's like to be an oppressed minority
    3
  833. Now her mom is going to have another "Fanastic Adventure" exploring the big pen!
    3
  834. Somewhere in the crowd, an incognito hero named Ignore Man used his Indifference Mindwaves to make everyone not give a s**t to anything happening around them!
    3
  835. He’s not Father Christmas! He’s the Grinch!
    3
  836. Unlike Tate, her arrest was a sacrificial benefit for a good cause, instead of a losing one
    3
  837. This is why my mom uses one of those clamps that hold onto the shutters of the car's AC
    3
  838. If he wasn't killed unjustly over a counterfeit bill, he would've remained a blip in the human radar!
    3
  839.  @TakeAsNeeded4Pain  This is more of a logistics problem, since they would have to rely on the rhino's breeding to allow for more horns to hunt for
    3
  840. This is bulls**t insane!
    3
  841. Don't even think about it!
    2
  842. Finally, a mask suitable for Tartakataan people to ambush unsuspecting meals!
    2
  843. This could've ended up in a Penpals creepypasta
    2
  844. See, this is why this nation keeps going backwards in social regression
    2
  845.  @BoltRM  He can’t do the drum take, because it got smashed already!
    2
  846. I don't need anybody nosing me around while I work! They're not from my management team! If I had to endure even one more second of these baristas lurking over my shoulder, I'll beat them up into a bloody pulp and carry their body in a wheelbarrow!
    2
  847. What a Dino sore to society!
    2
  848. This app will spread like cancer among those who needed it most!
    2
  849. You think he'll become the next Ukrainian president someday?
    2
  850. Can the nurse still communicate with the baby kit by Morse though?
    2
  851. Not at these dangerous levels @Xane_Dragon 
    2
  852. There’s more black lines than the Breonna Taylor police report!
    2
  853. No one wants to stay home with nothing to do either, so...
    2
  854. He wasn't being held down to the ground for that, since he was already punished for that crime and served his time!
    2
  855. Unfun fact: In the U.S., there's a special police task force known as "Operation Boo" that specifically monitors and patrols the residential streets to check to make sure no registered sex offenders participate in Halloween-related activities that could be used to lure in children. I think Operation Boo should expand their surveillance in haunted houses, attractions and theme parks more frequently as well.
    2
  856. Karma’s a b1tch!
    2
  857. They should’ve brought in a shepherd to stop Ghost a long time ago
    2
  858. Those who exalted themselves should be humbled
    2
  859. Next time, I want lava-fire flowers!
    2
  860. This is why Middle-Eastern countries have to stop getting so worked up about women dressing "inappropriately" during news casting
    2
  861. A drug den has more sanitation standards than this quack spa
    2
  862. In communist China, kite flies you!
    2
  863. Some wear sailor suits
    2
  864.  @rogueplanet13  DAMIT, I was being sarcastic!!
    2
  865. That looks more like a cesspool than a swimming pool!
    2
  866. Poisoners need not apply!
    2
  867. What if we let kids play "This War of Mine: The Little Ones" as an alternative?
    2
  868.  @ghostwalk2446  Maybe not drugs. Though gun runners and slave traffickers make be a different story if they decide to take inspiration from the narco-subs
    2
  869. Mom and Dad once invited me to go fishing with their friend. It's a good thing I brought my own homemade gas mask and chemical goggles for the ride.
    2
  870. I thought legends never die
    2
  871. He is the next Steve Irwin
    2
  872. But at least the Szechuan sauce is still in high supply in every supermarket, right?!! RIGHT?!!
    2
  873. Correction: Man Took A Right Turn that Led to the Family’s Fire Rescue
    2
  874. If the celebrity was white, you know he would’ve been sentenced 14-25 times longer
    2
  875. It’s also probably because of scumbags setting up fake charities to skim money off gullible donors
    2
  876. People may call this video fake, but to me, the proof is in the pudding! Who else would be selling pudding, Bill Cosby?!
    2
  877. Do she spank the bear with her walking cane afterwards?
    2
  878. They should’ve sue Trump for inciting an insurrection in court—-and THEN banned him from social media if found guilty!
    2
  879. That could be an airplane route for all we know!
    2
  880. Well, at least everyone's back to normal Or at least crazy at the same level
    2
  881.  @DanDCool  WHICH ONE IS IT?! Make up your mind!
    2
  882.  @firedup692  YES OR NO?! Stop joking around!
    2
  883. New Tesla Idea: Automatic Anti-theft Transmission Disengagement
    2
  884. Plenty of better fish in the sea, Navy
    2
  885. Reminds of that Christmas SpongeBob episode when SpongeBob threw water on the Christmas tree, because he thought it was on fire when it lit up
    2
  886. Raw sushi and cooked steak NEVER should go together as a combined meal!
    2
  887. This only works in the movies, dude
    2
  888. That pilot sure does not want the company to walk away from this
    2
  889. For a second, I thought she was just wearing one of those moustache guards to hide a portion of her lip
    2
  890. When life imitates art
    2
  891. I heard of a guy who was showering when the lightbulb in the washroom shorted out. He attempted to change the lightbulb while he was still wet and got electrocuted when his wet skin came into contact with the exposed metal contact.
    2
  892. @Kevin the Duck So being rich automatically disqualifies you from getting sympathy after surviving a horrific traumatic incident? HAH, and you said I'm the low one... Even if you said was true, at LEAST he's using his resources to push for policies to make America safer by only allowing law-abiding citizens with proper credentials to own firearms and keep powerful weapons from being used from the hands of criminally insane people
    2
  893. I wonder if he also offers BBQ Tarantulas
    2
  894. How about an agave ocahui tequila that can only be enjoyed every 100 years!?
    2
  895. I like to see them fight on the tallest boxing ring and see who gets toppled first
    2
  896. Now how the heck am I going to enjoy seeing cougars like him maul animals to death?
    2
  897. THIS IS BLATANT FAVOURITISM!
    2
  898. See, this is why we install bollards
    2
  899. That’s rich coming from Florida woman who’s known for her own crazy exploits and life troubles in America
    2
  900. Who needs hope when you have devotion?!
    2
  901. What happened to all those witty comebacks you had earlier on Twitter, Wendy’s?!
    2
  902. That's one way to terminate your business partner
    2
  903.  @jsmith123  Sure beats going for broke!
    2
  904. Mr. Fizzwidget!
    2
  905. Question: What if the kidnapper decides to wrap your hands around with duct tape?
    2
  906. Awww man, who's gonna correct those fan response videos on Conan's mistakes now??!!
    2
  907. Ainslie’s moustache has more credibility and honour than Cavanaugh
    2
  908. The police in the US really has gone to the dogs
    2
  909. You fool! You just let Rick Sanchez escape again!
    2
  910. Still better than seeing a man in a bodysuit get partially swallowed by a python
    2
  911. “Sex Predator and the City”
    2
  912. We need to hit the company where it Hertz!
    2
  913. Ironically, the chiropractor must had a weak spine for trying something so callous yet so off-setting
    2
  914. I wanna know how that man in the wheelchair was standing up and why he was in a wheelchair in the first place! Was he faking it to siphon off welfare cash from other actual disabled people?
    2
  915. More like PREYING thieves!
    2
  916. I would’ve called him Chozzwozner
    2
  917. I used to play youth hockey for special needs kids (by force from my mom) and I know how important the coaches needed to be respected. In fact, I once pushed a fat kid onto the icy rink floor, because he was too inept and distracted away from scoring the enemy’s goal, hoping I could get respect from the referee in return.
    2
  918. This only works in the movies, dude!
    2
  919. It’s PB&J time!!
    2
  920. What about Canada? We have to deal with genetically engineered dire pigs that escaped from a lab! The guys can avoid hunters by digging deep burrows, survive harsh cold winters and can breed numerously like rabbits!
    2
  921. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2Mf_zYYd4Y
    2
  922. Ever heard of the Barbara Streisand effect?
    2
  923. CSI did an episode about a man who committed suicide, but made it look like a murder by using a gun tied to a helium balloon. I don’t hear them complain about the show after that one man did it for real.
    2
  924. I wonder if they’ll super size his coffin
    2
  925. You should’ve left early when you had the chance, like that black reporter from 2020!
    2
  926. At least use a glass!
    2
  927. God and anime won’t be on your side to protect you from the plague, nerds!!!
    2
  928. If that was a dig, he should've also included Megan
    2
  929. And his girlfriend Daisy
    2
  930. He would’ve caught more treasures if he used a Mag-Net
    2
  931. Cowman from “Back at the Barnyard” has done it again! They certainly had grabbed this bullish criminal by the horns!
    2
  932. He’s got the BJ Blascowicz disease!
    2
  933. EDIT: The same thing happened to my teacher’s son, back when I was in high school (only it was a shuttlecock that was flying too fast, ricocheted and struck him in the back of the neck); he donated his organs to the hospital as his last act of kindness
    2
  934. Hope he cleans his business up from all the peaks
    2
  935. I guess they got angry about the loss and took the out their frustration on her
    2
  936.  Toronto Aquatics  YEAH, exactly!
    2
  937. Tiger King 2: Cat-aclysm
    2
  938. My parents told me they will buy a Tesla for me once I earned my driver's license. I told them I wanted a different car because of my fear of the car getting hacked, but they told me not to worry. Perhaps this news video would change their mind...
    2
  939. His nose is as crooked as his crimes
    2
  940. If they had hit Dilbert, he would’ve destroying the whole entire bridge with his rocket launcher, aiming at where the teens were throwing their rocks
    2
  941. Was it a house spider?
    2
  942. Few bits of fun privy history trivia 1) It was not uncommon for male-only privies to have dugouts being filled with broken pieces of beer bottles. This indicated that men back then would usually come to the privacy of the outhouse before downing on alcohol, away from the sight of their loved ones, before dumping their empty spirits into the hole 2) Some privies of former family homes had piles of opium bottles. This stemmed from the fact that back in the 20th century, mothers would try to cure their baby's toothache with a rub of opium on their gums. However, since opium is addictive, the babies would constantly cry whenever they don't get their fix, leading to mothers buying more opium bottles and administering the medicine to their gums. This further exacerbated the problem and lead to piled-up stock of empty opium containers within the privy hole.
    2
  943. They now wish they were back at the atoll
    2
  944. Dead Spaced, you mean!
    2
  945. Finally, a waterboy that doesn't serve the corporations
    2
  946. DAMIT, old man! Don’t make this rescue any harder than it needs to be!
    2
  947. It’s the Prototype Panzerhund from the Wolfenstein series!
    2
  948. At least leave the baby out BEFORE you carjack someone!
    2
  949. 4 3 2 1, who will be the strongest thumb??!!
    2
  950.  @realhuman4396  I know why they do it!
    2
  951. He must’ve been inspired from the video game “A Way Out”
    2
  952.  @OcnarfPro  I mean, hey! As long as the astronaut consents, this could be a groundbreaking astrobiology experiment; gotta make sure our new generation can survive the trip to new worlds!
    2
  953. It could have been worse! They could have accidentally sold a killer robot boy!
    2
  954. This is why I don't have friends
    2
  955. Could this be the evolutionary reason why the first human primate species started walking on two legs?
    2
  956. We should make a it a tradition for one of the guests to act as the robber gift baron, and make it a mission for the bride and groom to figure out which if their guests is the thieving culprit
    2
  957. Cute little bastard… Well, EX-bastard…
    2
  958. That’s the point
    2
  959. What’s next, I can’t have home insurance, because I own a baby dragon as my pet??
    2
  960. This only works well in Japan
    2
  961. I kinda thought that the Grinch’s and Martha’s new kid would be….greener. What happened, did the Grinch threw around his pet dog around too much?
    2
  962. That's it! No more magic mushrooms and kratom for you!
    2
  963. It’s too bad that miracle incident wasn’t recorded on livestream and posted onto Youtube
    2
  964. It’s probably for the best. We don’t want any more school scandals over kicking out kids for wearing religious/cultural garb or hairstyles
    2
  965. Next up: Man Returns 25-year-old USB stick that was once eaten by a goat
    2
  966. So it’s like reverse version of “MMMM COW”
    2
  967. Next time, get a P.O. box
    2
  968. I wonder if your maniac president really has a plan after his victory…
    2
  969. Guess their God was too busy dealing with the long registering line
    2
  970. What about the blobfish?! How come he doesn’t get fake mannequin visitors?!
    2
  971. Maybe next time, bring an inflatable raft or a dinghy while you're at it
    2
  972. Hey, do they also use the Happiness Hat that stabs you if you stop smiling?
    2
  973. What’s the matter with you, ladies?! CHICKEN?!!
    2
  974. It worked for Mythbusters, so this is no surprise
    2
  975. Jesus saved his life, but Lucifer will make it a living hell
    2
  976. That egg’s not the only one that’s shrivelled up!
    2
  977. Let me know when they decide to use elephant poo and egg whites
    2
  978. They just wanna drop by to say hello
    2
  979. If I find a tracker like that, I would take it and plant it on the most dangerous looking bastard or drop it in the most dangerous neighbourhood for the stalker to find
    2
  980. Different name, same propaganda…
    2
  981. I wonder how she’ll look in a seifuku outfit
    2
  982. It can also be a Russian short for zabityy (‘deadbeat’ or ‘downtrodden’, just like the Russian soldiers who got left behind by their own commanders and forced to surrender upon being captured)
    2
  983. There's engagement chicken, and then there's divorce brownies!
    2
  984. Ahhhh, it’s just like the old days of the Wild West general stores
    2
  985. Well, time for them to bring out the dynamite!
    2
  986. All that’s missing is a pride of lions and a streak of tigers!
    2
  987. What's next, a nuclear disaster?!
    2
  988. I wonder if he’ll pass on the tradition to his future son
    2
  989. Deuteronomy 12:15  Nevertheless, you may slaughter your animals in any of your towns and eat as much of the meat as you want, as if it were gazelle or deer, according to the blessing the LORD your God gives you. Both the ceremonially unclean and the clean may eat it.
    2
  990. I KNEW Inside Edition would post this story as soon as I posted a link about that story on their original news footage about the two babies!
    2
  991. There should be a reality show revolving around recovering remains of former veterans and bringing them back home to their families for a proper rest
    2
  992. Let’s see how he’ll deal with the sexual innuendos from his cell mates once he’s thrown in the can
    2
  993. Lives were totally at steak here
    2
  994. He has dishonored himself AND his family! Thus, he must commit seppuku!
    2
  995. They weren’t clapping, because they were cheering for your freedom! They were clapping, because they didn’t want to share their cell with a teen rapist!
    2
  996. Unfun fact: After the Gallipoli campaign of April 1915, so many dead soldier corpses from both sides (Turks vs Australians of the British Empire) were rotting away so quickly under the searing hot weather, that it quickly attracted and bred a literal swarm of disease-carrying flies, and was emitting an unbearable rotting stench under the intense desert heat. As a result, a temporary 9.5 hour-truce May 24, 1915 had to be made between the Australians and the Turks, so that they would cease all fighting until all the rotting and bloated corpses in the desert battlefield were removed and given proper burials.
    2
  997.  @siry5164  Maybe that was the true test, the ability to detect mistakes
    2
  998. Pretty sure the candy excuse will only incite the staff to issue a beating rather than a warning
    2
  999. Where was he actually going to kick him at? His neck??
    2
  1000.  @sadafrazzak8253  He, actually...
    2
  1001. This was jury rigged from the start and the judge was clearly too biased for Rittenhouse. He may had won the battle, but we have yet to finish the war.
    2
  1002. Now she's the winner of worst mother in America!
    2
  1003. Now if ONLY cops can give hotel entry cards to homeless people so they can have a free room to sleep in
    2
  1004. Maybe add some barbed wire, bollards, Czech hedgehogs, dragon's teeth and road spikes too, for good measure
    2
  1005. Even if he didn't deliberately burned the victim's face on purpose, WHY IN THE HELL WOULD YOU LET YOUR SON PLAY WITH A FLAMING SOCCER BALL IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR BACKYARD???!!! It may not had been a malicious intentional act, but it was still downright dangerously stupid!
    2
  1006. I'll be the judge of that!
    2
  1007.  @xmistaxcashxcoll  I was being facetious!
    2
  1008. He’s going to grow up to become a merc someday in the year 2077
    2
  1009. Well then, this has been a cruel summer…
    2
  1010. So police will take time with a mentally deranged white 14 year old girl, yet they’ll shoot down a black 13 year old boy with a fake toy gun in 2 seconds?!!
    2
  1011. I’m surprised the man from that wrong photo didn’t found himself missing
    2
  1012. He should've taken the shoplifters to his basement, tied them to a post and beat them up ruthlessly until they understand the errors of their ways
    2
  1013. Make her take off that pink wig she probably stole as well!
    2
  1014. How much toil does this world gonna take??!
    2
  1015. So the slap WAS all a show!
    2
  1016. Considering cops these days somehow endanger pregnant females of their own species, this isn’t too surprising
    2
  1017. The Smithsonian Museum once rejected the brown suit worn by OJ when he was acquitted; what makes you think his brain is worth anything?
    2
  1018. You do that in the U.S.A., you'll be immediately arrested for perpetuating a hoax in a public setting. 미국에서 이와 같은 조치를 취하면 공공 장소에서 사기를 지속 한 것으로 즉시 체포됩니다.
    2
  1019. Thanks for not taking them to the Congo!
    2
  1020. Another good reason why I don't go to the beach on summer vacation anymore
    2
  1021.  @georgebailey7256  She keeps bringing him up from time to time as her go-to political argument stragety! There's literally a compilation video about it!
    2
  1022. Let me know when they can fire missiles from their shoulders and uni-beams from their chest, THEN we’ll talk!
    2
  1023.  @angelcraig9912  I was being sarcastic
    2
  1024. How long before we get another Boondocks incident?
    2
  1025. Yeah, I think I rather take my chances at Dismaland
    2
  1026.  @cookncrook6902  That's what the rainwater is for!
    2
  1027. You could also try drinking fruit juice! You know, the kind of juice that’s NOT fermented!
    2
  1028. So when Sia does it, it's powerful; but when BELLA THORNE does it, it's SHAMEFUL???!
    2
  1029. Now we don’t have to keep pulling them off trees!
    2
  1030. They said it was a Singaporean ship, which means it’s part of a Communist sabatoge
    2
  1031. I’ll give you $100,000 to get off this plane!
    2
  1032. I just hope this doesn't affect my browsing of adult star pics
    2
  1033. Now I don’t have to hire child baggage holders to drag my luggage for me!
    2
  1034. Why not just burn down the bar after they violated the order three times?
    2
  1035. Any chance he’ll become the next Iron Man?
    2
  1036. Imagine if they actually did deliver the cookies, but all of them had raisins!
    2
  1037. The doctor accidentally turned the liver into something dire
    2
  1038. Uh oh, I hope Japan isn’t suffering the same problem now that they building their own 7/11 chain
    2
  1039. You heard of bait cars, so I think it's now time to call for bait catalytic converters!
    2
  1040. Luuunnnnggggsssss....
    2
  1041. Guess God is the only one who rejected this union
    2
  1042. Hey, since Trump won by electoral vote in 2016, it's fair that Biden also could win by electoral votes too, right? I guess the irony has been lost to Trump for a very long while now.
    2
  1043. Perhaps someday we’ll have our first extraterrestrial affairs ambassador
    2
  1044. Brown-nosing bootlicker
    2
  1045. Way better than A Dog’s Purpose
    2
  1046. She just wanted a hug!!
    2
  1047. There’s a black guy who collects Jim-Crow era memorabilia of minstrel media in his museum collection. That don’t make him a pro-slavery revisionist!
    2
  1048. We need a charity called Food Not Fists!
    2
  1049. On the bright side, at least she wouldn't have to pay contractors more money to install skylights
    2
  1050.  @anar8343  The mental and social pressures from stardom can really do a whirlwind to your brain if you're not mentally prepared to deal with the new struggles
    2
  1051. He caught some Buenos Aires while sky scraping
    2
  1052. If I escaped from school or daycare like that doggy, I would've got scolded and had my head knuckled, before my parents call the school to take me back
    2
  1053. Because everybody knows people going through bad break-up or divorce will order Valium online and use it to taint their ex-spouse's coffee!
    2
  1054.  @OMAR-vk9pi  Oh you don't care if John Wick's first dog died? ^ HEY EVERYONE! This guy named OMAR doesn't care about John Wick's dog!
    2
  1055. This is why I hate cruises
    2
  1056. I bet they got ensnared by the ghosts of the Titanic!
    2
  1057. Gravity: It’s not just a good idea—-it”s the LAW!
    2
  1058. I KNEW there was something strange behind his death!
    2
  1059. I’m more concerned for the restaurant’s reputation than the critic’s health
    2
  1060. 0:15 Like the inventor who tested his parachute coat in France!
    2
  1061. The frequency of negative mutations occurring within offspring of distant cousins is as much as the offspring born from geriatric parents
    2
  1062.  @sandrohernandez4401  She used a private email server rather than a government server to exchange secret clandestine information
    2
  1063. The government cries for victory to the motherland, but it’s the soldiers that take the brunt of being cannon fodder for the slaughterhouses; that’s why the “Z” on their trucks and tanks stands for “zabityy” (downtrodden or forgotten)
    2
  1064. Let’s hope he doesn’t order fried pork or bacon
    2
  1065. Next time, just do the old helium balloon attached to a gun trick
    2
  1066. I heard of a university student who didn’t pay for a parking ticket for over 20 years. It was only after he graduated from university and met up with an old friend years later that he was reminded about the ticket, and went back to his old institution to pay it back
    2
  1067. Meanwhile in Canada, Toronto police had recently shot and killed a gunman who was walking around near some elementary schools after they ordered him to drop his weapon (it was later found that the gunman was carrying a pellet rifle)
    2
  1068. She should’ve become a monk like that ex-Korean pop singer
    2
  1069. Whoever recommended this river should be thrown off the same dam where the family died
    2
  1070.  @retrozip  Pretty sure that’ll make the watchers STOP pedalling!
    2
  1071. (Prisoners furiously taking notes before exacting vengeance with prison napalm)
    2
  1072. I say this measles outbreak was poetic justice
    2
  1073. This is like something out of a Creepypasta story!
    2
  1074. >> Digimon profusely cries in the corner
    2
  1075. What will the state euthanize next, a pet moose??!
    2
  1076. To be fair, humans would also kill for a coffee as well
    2
  1077. Was he trying to be that drunk sniper from “The Warrior’s Way”?
    2
  1078. How about “Neutered”?
    2
  1079. Bronze Kneecap, this time you had gone TOO far!!
    2
  1080. She’s right about never having to live a life in prison again Because they’ll be carrying out a shoebox by the end
    2
  1081. Prison tip #1: Make yourself a soap-on-a-rope before your step in the group showers!
    2
  1082. It’s beginning to look NOTHING like Christmas…
    2
  1083. You might as well fill the vents with fungus
    2
  1084. He needs a folie side chick named Daisy!
    2
  1085. Dylan Cooper, he was not!
    2
  1086. That sounds like something you sentence your fat kids during detention
    2
  1087. Don’t go into the boat WITHOUT a life jacket!
    2
  1088. We should call this social misconception perception the “Judy Garland Effect”
    2
  1089. Might as well train them for the Mad Max apocalypse when they reach 13
    2
  1090. Someone’s going to end up dying of a broken heart…again!
    2
  1091. This kinda looks like the type of multi-cage prison gym used to isolate veteran gangsters to stop them from recruiting more henchmen and attacking rivals
    2
  1092. That is a lot of poor cancer patients
    2
  1093. It's all fun and games until she starts dodging bullets as she dances!
    2
  1094.  @JustMe-ol8ss  I think s/he meant his long-time high school friend
    2
  1095. Gee, it’s as if global climate change may had something to do with those unexpected circumstances
    2
  1096. How much coal does it take to keep this running for at least 100 miles?
    2
  1097.  @BrettWilkins  We’ll just have to wait for the sheriff to complete the investigation, if there will be one
    2
  1098. Hey, I have an idea! Let’s go strap them to a table and throw beer cans at their teeth to open them!
    2
  1099. I can't wait for the year 9020!!
    2
  1100. Didn’t they know what will happen when they deny too many claims?
    2
  1101. Too bad John Wick is longer with us anymore
    2
  1102. To be fair, I would’ve acted like that too if she almost ran me over. Then again, I’m not a police officer, so…
    2
  1103. But what if my chicken is cold?!
    2
  1104.  @RhaegarTargaryen1st  Okay, but don’t call it the “Adult” section, because even though they do show nudity, it’s not sexual in nature and those who do think it is should probably go see a shrink…or an asylum
    2
  1105. 0:41 Nice SpongeBob impression
    2
  1106. These ladies better team up and become like the heroine team from “Sucker Punch”
    2
  1107. What’s next, a mayonnaise mat?
    2
  1108. Do they also help clean up after massive riots and violent mobs?
    2
  1109. He may be not as charming or beautiful as Miss Chalice, but he sure knows how to boogey like her
    2
  1110. Oh phew! I thought he died because some jackass kicked the football too hard and struck his head!
    2
  1111. She's just stocking up throwable ammo in case of a house invasion emergency
    2
  1112.  @ryanmurdock2232  Sacrifices had to be made for the sake of safety and security
    2
  1113. Wow, he got knocked out cold!
    2
  1114. Hot as balls too when summer comes along
    2
  1115. How much XY sperm does your male generations have?!!
    2
  1116. Maybe this is a bad omen...
    2
  1117. Parasite flashbacks intensifies!
    2
  1118. More like a Jacka55 in the Box!
    2
  1119. Wow, finally a story about fraternities that's NOT racist!
    2
  1120. What’s wrong with parents these days?
    2
  1121. Squirrels do love holding their nuts, so I guess this animal therapy makes sense
    2
  1122. The snake bit the dingo in his dinkle, man!
    2
  1123. I remember almost drowning when I decided to swim to the deeper end of the pool as a kid. I only survived because I managed to grab onto a fat kid’s coast guard approved buoy floatie.
    2
  1124. Who’s next, Gary the No-trash Cougar?!
    2
  1125. Godamn hippies…
    2
  1126. There’s DEFINITELY a conflict of interest going on between Depp and his lawyer
    2
  1127. Lay some bear traps near the hammock, so they get the message
    2
  1128. Well, time to bring out the ol’ shovel to dig myself an outhouse AND a fire shelter!
    2
  1129. He didn’t get his cigo-wets!
    2
  1130. Guess it really SUCKS to be him!
    2
  1131. Give him a bulletproof security blanket too, so he can cry himself to sleep if he loses
    2
  1132. Always gotta end summer with a bang!
    2
  1133. More like the WORST night ever!
    2
  1134. She looks pretty well-endowed for someone at aged 76! She looked like she could’ve been in her 40s or 60s!
    2
  1135. And my parents wonder why I don’t go out as much…
    2
  1136. As a man, I had already been doing that against women ever since the pandemic; I’m still celibate now!
    2
  1137. Even the fires of Hell itself gives respect to this old lady for able to live that long
    2
  1138. It’s also gonna be hard to find jurors who don’t hate Luigi’s guts for assassinating an “innocent” CEO
    2
  1139. I just hope they don’t find a Chucky doll
    2
  1140. Fell down like a line of Domino’s!
    2
  1141. It's sad that he became part of the exact same news event he was reporting on
    2
  1142. (Starts choking you to death) SAY MOORS!!
    2
  1143.  @indip6028  Former high school student number
    2
  1144. Was he hoping to find the TMNT in his own town??
    2
  1145. The only downside is that he may have to give up on eating bacon for the rest of his life
    2
  1146.  @alekoelho  Guess small things DO come with big packages!
    2
  1147. The police should start shooting looters on sight. That’ll teach’em!
    2
  1148. God should’ve made the steeple more stable in the first place
    2
  1149. Today's weather forecast: Hot flashes and mind storms, slight chance of sweat and tear drops!
    2
  1150. JUDGE JULIE: Attempted first-degree murder of a state-appointed judge DEFENDENT: Lemme guess... life??? RAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!! (IMMEDIATELY SHOT BY BAILIFF) JUDGE JULIE: Deeeaaattthh
    2
  1151. To be frank, the cops must’ve thought the abuser changed the house numbers to avoid getting caught
    2
  1152. Barber-surgeons making a comeback!?
    2
  1153. If you found out your loved one was a serial killer, wouldn't you need the money to pay for your therapy bills?
    2
  1154. Their TSA missed like over 80% of the bags containing weapons and explosives at checkpoints! What else would you expect?!
    2
  1155. It’s Rick on the Roof now! I wish Mr Poopybutthole would join him too!
    2
  1156. Mike Rowe is probably feeling the tension now!
    2
  1157. They're evolving...
    2
  1158.  @TheStingy  No, using beet sugar is cheaper, because you don't have to spend money on repairing rusting infrastructure!!
    2
  1159. Didn’t your parents tell you to NEVER buy candy from strangers??
    2
  1160. If only incompetent police involved in shootings were just as honest and remorseful as this guy
    2
  1161. @Mesmipha STOP trying to ruin the joke!!
    2
  1162. Even the father doesn’t hold the grudge against anybody who shot his son! Heck, he’ll probably invite that guy over for a beer if his son was shot dead!
    2
  1163. Do you think they know how to play “We’re going to need a montage” from South Park?
    2
  1164. If he was using drones, the feds wouldn’t even bat an eye
    2
  1165. It’s all ogre for him now!
    2
  1166. I don't care if he's pro Trump. I don't hear about other street musicians being arrested for "aggressive panhandling"!
    2
  1167. Does it taste like chicken though?
    2
  1168. Here's another idea: WHY DON'T YOU JUST EXCERCISE AT HOME?!
    2
  1169. He is no Chad! He looks more like a Mick!
    2
  1170. Just blow a huge flamethrower at the house and be over it!
    2
  1171. But what did the fox say before he left though?
    2
  1172. Can we have all of his thrown stuff though for free?
    2
  1173.  @tshaffer9681  Or gain weight from stressful over eating
    2
  1174. I'll give him a medal when he sells the gas for 34 cents!
    2
  1175. Different year, same crazy
    2
  1176.  @chaseroahrig7761  Life is effort and I’ll stop when I die!
    2
  1177. Maybe we should start setting up public Zoom centers
    2
  1178. Happy Motherless Day, b1tch!
    2
  1179. She should write a book about it and publicize it on national television!
    2
  1180. Abusing a child with a paddle as part of school discipline? That's a paddlin'!
    2
  1181. I wonder if swaddling and consoling works with adult addicts in rehab
    2
  1182. Gee, I wonder where he learned how to drum up astroturf support in his rallies!
    2
  1183. Poisoning by Drain-O is a No No under the judge’s perspective on this radioactively based case. No matter how much he gets under your skin, you should consider finding somebody else to lay pipes with instead of scrubbing down his pipe!
    2
  1184. I say it was a backyard brawl dispute that went terribly wrong
    2
  1185. I’m not surprised this happened. I heard of one old news story about a grandma who tried to open the plane door at mid-flight, just so she could go outside to smoke her cigarette
    2
  1186. UFO: Untameable Floridian Obliterator
    2
  1187. I hope she doesn’t mind have her nails done on her hand
    2
  1188. It’ll cost them though!
    2
  1189. This maniacal plot had more holes than that cheesecake
    2
  1190. It’s called a mid-air refueling plane
    2
  1191. This llama still has to partake his role in creating COVID antibodies!
    2
  1192. Next time, use birdshot if you want to make a quick hunting kill instead of a slow ineffective one
    2
  1193. Bah, who needs a Kmart?!
    2
  1194. I gotta give it to the lady! She sure knows how to party like it's 2008!
    2
  1195. Was she on probation for the same violation she was fired for?
    2
  1196. I wonder what kinda apocalyptic thriller will Trump screenwrite
    2
  1197. No, the profile of the jet-ski looked like a baby whale for the shark to snack on. That’s why the shark attacked,.
    2
  1198. This has got to be the most ironic scandal. On the bright side, at least it wasn’t a flying ice cream truck!
    2
  1199. And thus a triple monster girl harem was born!
    2
  1200.  @garcias2039  DO you NOT get I'm making a pun out of her?
    2
  1201. Like Hangover!
    2
  1202. What’s next, massage fighting?
    2
  1203. She’s not heavy enough to hold down a mattress
    2
  1204. Most recycled materials actually come out with lower quality than its previous products
    2
  1205. Where can I find eggs laid by a golden goose?
    2
  1206. How could they not smell a rat? The capybara is the biggest one roaming in the street right now
    2
  1207. What a jawdropper!
    2
  1208. Soon, he’ll be known as Mr.Nada once he is stripped of all his fame and wealth
    2
  1209. I’m just waiting for him to pull out double akimbo Uzi SMGs when the Zabityy comes barging in, just like in Servant of the People!
    2
  1210. Improv Everywhere does it again!
    2
  1211. Could be worse! She could've got Rage or herpes---or both!
    2
  1212. Maybe just restrict paddle-boarding to one of those canals in Italy
    2
  1213. To be fair, the baby was already near its death after it was birthed
    2
  1214. You know what else would help this elderly man? An early retirement and a good pension!!
    2
  1215. As if the inflation of the British pound couldn’t get any more rotund
    2
  1216. I’m 28 and in spite of getting my beginner driving license, I still refuse to get behind the wheel, because I’m afraid of getting too emotional and might end up killing someone with my vehicle
    2
  1217. If this was Florida, the girl would take the alligator TO school!
    2
  1218. I always thought it was octopus and one guy thought it would be punny to make a Japanese-style taco with "takko"
    2
  1219. Okay, which one of you Titanic passengers left the dog on the iceberg??
    2
  1220. Wrong video
    2
  1221. Whether you're the president or a housekeeper, everybody dances with the Grim Reaper
    2
  1222. Next up: Woman on Earth stalked wife living in space
    2
  1223. That’s right! Breed new future workers for the labour force!
    2
  1224. Usually, this kind of death only happens in a corrupt prison, not a hotel
    2
  1225. This is why we rather fish for our meals instead of buying them off from some tourist trap restaurant
    2
  1226. That baby’s already learning the ways of the Necromorph Lurker before his transformation is complete! You might want to have him checked out!
    2
  1227. This is just hopping mad!
    2
  1228. On the bright side, at least they can come back from the ship with their fish already pre-fried
    2
  1229.  @DarkPassenger  I think you’re confusing that with corporate oligarchies
    2
  1230.  @uhohhhsteven  Says the guy who can’t do both of those things mentioned
    2
  1231.  @noelr1010  At least I don’t pull out frivolous lawsuits!
    2
  1232. So this is where Carnival Burgers perform their serial killer/burger cooking operations!
    2
  1233.  @user-in8xx1xu5b  Still, better watch out with those hands…
    2
  1234. So how come God didn't interfere in all the other church shootings?
    2
  1235. Do they also do guitar smashing sessions?
    2
  1236. Now he’ll have to contend with sampling all the protein shakes in the yard!
    2
  1237. I bet the contraband ain’t the dirty stuff they found in her diaper
    2
  1238. Suicide is actually made way easier for vetenarians, since they have access to the same euthanasia drugs used to put down animals
    2
  1239. At first, I thought this was a Titanic simulator from “Rick and Morty”
    2
  1240.  @PineAdollies  Why do you care so much about a YouTuber who inappropriately recorded a hanged person in the forest?
    2
  1241. I dare them to rub their stomachs like they did with the manatees!
    2
  1242. For a second, I thought I was looking at a CGI version of the plane going out of control
    2
  1243. Of course the police wouldn’t help! They don’t want to arrest one of their own kind!
    2
  1244. Looks like his safety bed became his death bed!
    2
  1245. I wonder how the school's gonna react to this
    2
  1246. Maybe this is a bad omen...
    2
  1247. Office how the police immediately take the black suspect to jail, while they never arrested the white guy. I wonder why…
    2
  1248.  @deemen7132  I'm sure they had a replacement and had improved their infrastructure since then
    2
  1249. Can't they just use drones?
    2
  1250. Yeah, if they’re going to force me to use my hands to cup whatever slimy or liquid food items they got in store, I’ll just take their stuff and leave without paying!
    2
  1251. He's suffering the rest of his afterlife in Spooky Mormon Hell, as he should be
    2
  1252. He tried to wipe off his prints, but got fingered instead!
    2
  1253. Well, he's not wrong!
    2
  1254. Life is a beach, but it doesn’t have to be a whale of a beach
    2
  1255. His parents and his dog aren’t the only ones who lost their head
    2
  1256. OR perhaps from an alternate mirror dimension and only pretended that there was a mistake to hide his true identity
    2
  1257. It’s a public visitors centre, not an Onlyfans live studio!
    2
  1258. I can still bring my old Gameboy though, right?
    2
  1259. Who's dimly bright idea was this to include alligators in a golf course?!
    2
  1260. You know there's a thing called a Segway, right?
    2
  1261. 1:25 Here, we see a male domestic wifebeater surveying the surroundings of his natural habitat. The wifebeater usually goes on the run for 1-2 months, before their food supplies run out and will resort to using one of its own store-bought tools to defend himself from any oncoming predators, including law-enforcement officers and bounty hunters.
    2
  1262. Why do I get the feeling he’s only doing this to boost his own social reputation, rather than out of generosity?
    2
  1263. Smokey can only protect you from wildfires, but not bear attacks
    2
  1264. This is dentally insane!
    2
  1265. Why aren’t any Koreans invited!?
    2
  1266. DAMIT! I was hoping for that cruise ship corporation to collapse!
    2
  1267. Strange that this effect doesn’t impact rich CEOs
    2
  1268. Or a mansion floating in the water
    2
  1269. Is this over a Pokémon game again?!
    2
  1270. What's next, diluted carbonated hydrochloric acid?
    2
  1271. You see, this is how you create vigilante heroes. You murder someone in cold blood in front of their children, and these kids will grow up, train and become an experienced crime fighter out for blood!
    2
  1272. Next time, I wanna see the techno flop museum that didn’t make it to the market
    2
  1273. I hope he had a pet squirrel to accompany him on his endeavour
    2
  1274. Isn’t this like time-sharing for dogs? Why is this a surprise?
    2
  1275. Up next: Little bear dressed as blonde chick as part of house insurance scam conspiracy
    2
  1276. Give this to the New York Green Goblin as a sponsorship!
    2
  1277. You’re not supposed to smile in court! That’s a violation!
    2
  1278. Including me!
    2
  1279. You sure they didn’t forget about her appointment because someone was too busy hiding bodies in the basement?
    2
  1280. This is why you double check EVERYTHING
    2
  1281. Up next: Desert islanders survive starvation by singing the Bee Gees parody song “Gotta Find Food”
    2
  1282.  @Bb-xp8ym  You’re right! It’s actually a more noteworthy cause than she actually depicts!
    2
  1283.  @limitless_93  If you have the dashcam footage to prove self-defense, I don't see why not
    2
  1284. They wouldn't do that to a Newsmax or OAN reporter without riling up a storm from Dewine's supporters!
    2
  1285. Imagine what the Sera residents felt when that had to deal with fixing their houses after E-day
    2
  1286. Up next: How Denny’s Became a Hotspot for Broken Relationships!
    2
  1287. There are not enough good eggs in the market right now. All of them are being spoiled rotten by the bad eggs mixing in.
    2
  1288. That is one hell of an upskirt!!
    2
  1289. This doesn't feel the same as Improv Everywhere
    2
  1290. When the turnstile turns the tiles against you
    2
  1291. I wonder if rich people go to hell...
    1
  1292. Talk about a whiplash
    1
  1293. The only blueys he’ll be spending will be on practicing his harmonica in jail
    1
  1294. He flew into a rage, and now he has become a clipped stool pigeon!
    1
  1295. What's next, chazznozzers?!
    1
  1296. What the hell is this, Age of Empires III???
    1
  1297. Move over, Naruto!
    1
  1298. In the end, the driver slammed his own nail in his own coffin
    1
  1299. This really IS the new Roaring Twenties!
    1
  1300. Wait until someone builds a giant magnifying glass to burn it all down to dust
    1
  1301. Even if my brother apologized after falsely accusing me of spreading COVID, I still don’t want to see his face again
    1
  1302. I never liked the beach anyway
    1
  1303. What's next, is Facebook, Instagram and Twitter going to ban ASL interpreters for pro Bernie/Biden videos?!
    1
  1304. Also, you can hire a male relative or friend to go undercover as a lady and act as a decoy against would-be peeping toms
    1
  1305.  @kingofsimps7770  Saw something similar happen in The Smoking Gun Presents, only this time the guy used a mirror off the store shelf
    1
  1306. No more "Dukes of Hazards" for him!
    1
  1307. The price paid for these lives were pretty killer for him
    1
  1308. What about New Zealand, huh?!
    1
  1309. This story makes me wanna cry!
    1
  1310.  @lilbabytears  All those onions wasted
    1
  1311. Reminds me of this old comic https://www.oldmasterq.com/_STRIPS/B0902.jpg
    1
  1312. America needs to create their own platoon of Street Judges, so they can perform judge, jury and execution duties on those would-be assassins!
    1
  1313. Oh, and ducting that unruly grouper to his seat ISN’T torture?!
    1
  1314. As one Italian mayor would put it: "Who the f**k is going to see you with your hair fixed in the coffin?"
    1
  1315. Next prank, I want the husbands to exchange and switch their wives’ underwear
    1
  1316. First a waterfall, NOW a volcano??! What's next , a black hole?!?
    1
  1317. Ahhhh, YEP! Everything's back to normal now!
    1
  1318. Can’t be told to get off the lawn if there isn’t one to begin with!
    1
  1319. Make the busboy work for free---and with no mask!
    1
  1320. So that’s what these cops being spending from their slush fund!
    1
  1321. He only wanted a glass of water! He never asked for a fresh-pressed hanky, some tea with honey from the bees, or even a codfish oil poured from a crystal cruet for his chest while he rests! Sure, he might be a nincompoop who might be suffering from a case of croup, but he’s not asking for a vat of pumpkin soup or scarves made out of zinnias! Not even a drink of nice warm milk, not pastries from Albania! But if his stomach is feeling crummy, why not give his aching tummy something soothing and something yummy piled up with noodles?! Maybe also add a slice of homemade rye, with stacks of Swiss cheese way up high, served with sides of sweet mince pie, with basil in the oodles!
    1
  1322. Just goes to show that you don't have to look black to be criminally profiled! Sometimes, you just have to look poor!
    1
  1323. KEEP ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN! KEEP ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN!
    1
  1324. They treated him like garbage---LITERALLY!
    1
  1325. Doesn’t he know he has to be a cop before he can get free donuts?
    1
  1326. I'm getting horror flashbacks from The Fault of Amigara
    1
  1327. I’m more surprised she didn’t contemplated later that life can still be amended and used the gun to play herself
    1
  1328. You might as well say that those busty dresses and lavish make up is an invitation for rape
    1
  1329. This is how you inspire the vigilante group Birds of Prey!
    1
  1330. First a seatbelt, now THIS??!
    1
  1331. Wait until we bring out the bikini version, ladies!
    1
  1332.  @webguy943  Wh0r35 these days gotta make a living, right?
    1
  1333. They couldn’t trust her with wearing the dress without breaking it, so why would they entrust her with her real lock of hair?
    1
  1334. That’s just plain bananas
    1
  1335. Good thing I don’t drive and don’t have friends
    1
  1336. They should build Punji pits around historical art to deter selfie-obsessed tourists
    1
  1337. Why not use the Hammer of Dawn?
    1
  1338. Really really LONG pickles, you might say! Sometimes with a couple bumps too!
    1
  1339.  @edgar9739  Oh, you can make fun of me all you want! I’m 27!
    1
  1340. Usually, I get upset at tragic bombings like this, but since he initially warned everyone to spread out to minimize human collateral damage AND the fact that an AT&T building got destroyed, this doesn't affect me at all. In fact, I'm glad AT&T got ramshackled. That company stole my dad's 80 bucks as we were purchasing Internet access data for his cellphone!
    1
  1341. If he tries that on a rookery of sea lions, he’ll be yanked off the jet ski and be torn apart like a bloody rag doll while underwater!
    1
  1342. Where's Steve when you needed him?
    1
  1343. Someone’s gonna raise her voice from a baritone to an octave in the showers
    1
  1344. At this point, we should start building out stops for recreation prop-planes, so they can stop using our automobile highways as runways!
    1
  1345. As a devil’s advocate, she could be the murderer’s associate or accomplice for all they know
    1
  1346. It's all fun and games, until the anti-maskers start barging in!
    1
  1347. “Blue, yellow, pink! Whatever! Just gimme that!”
    1
  1348. This sounds like a plot of a rape hentai or a horror flick!
    1
  1349. We see Florida as a place of all weird crimes, because there's a special Floridian law that makes police records easy to be accessed by the public, making it easier for journalists to dig in for the craziest scoops
    1
  1350. Now it looks like a senile Grinch!
    1
  1351. Stock up on bullets, alcohol and cigarettes, so you can use them for barter after the apocalypse
    1
  1352. What's next? Pornhub?
    1
  1353. Hey, at least it's not pineapple
    1
  1354. Guess he went out like a Donald Lameduck
    1
  1355. @MikeDonaldson-eh2ru And?
    1
  1356. He almost become Deadpool!
    1
  1357. I have angry heart syndrome. Everytime I see a crowd of unmasked people, I just wanna throw a Molotov at the middle of that crowd.
    1
  1358. Lesson of the story: Listen to your wife and always ask for directions
    1
  1359. When one life dies, another one is reborn! It’s the cycle of life!
    1
  1360. That's why you wear a scrunchie!
    1
  1361. I bet the “shade coverage” will be tall surveillance towers powered by solar panels!
    1
  1362. I’m pretty sure that’s animal cruelty
    1
  1363. Yeah, who needs bees when you have illegal immigrants with paintbrushes to pollinate your fruit farms for you?!
    1
  1364. The bobcat didn't attack the five year old, because it was afraid of getting yeeted like its previous buddy
    1
  1365. When you fail to stock up on coal for the Generator before the Great Storm
    1
  1366. Christmas feels like it's officially dead right about now
    1
  1367. Has he tried looking for a dog's purpose?
    1
  1368. I can’t wait for the SUPERhoneymoon!
    1
  1369. That is some autoerotic messed-up sh** right here!
    1
  1370. Good boy!
    1
  1371. Now all we need is to take them to Umbrella Academy to be trained as vigilante superheroes!
    1
  1372. They should be lucky their kids weren’t taken by BTs
    1
  1373. Freakin' Pepsis!
    1
  1374. If we catch you again, I’ll have my horse bite the phone off your hand!
    1
  1375. Godamn imperialists!
    1
  1376. Did Stanley Pines set you up for this??! https://youtu.be/z1oz3-Qe4ss?t=7
    1
  1377. What happens if it gets stuck on a side of a cliff during night time?
    1
  1378. This was a shoddy excuse of a sting operation that wasted taxpayers’ money
    1
  1379.  @IFeatherStone  Climate change means the patterns of temperature, precipitation and pressure changes due to the effects of the greenhouse gases entrapping radiant sunlight energy around the planet In other words, when one region experiences extremes of one condition, the other is also affected in the opposing end. Applying the extremes in all regions of the planet is akin to disproving the effects of climate change by throwing a snowball on the Senate floor
    1
  1380. So much for family
    1
  1381. Does DOGTV have a knotty pooch channel?
    1
  1382. I already know how this goes, because I saw a police dashcam video of that first-person perspective when one guy decided to steal a cop car (with that dashcam) and drove off with it, only to be immobilized by the cop's PIT maneuver
    1
  1383. Not like that armed Karen couple who mistakenly thought the protesters were coming after their house
    1
  1384. Can you have micro-divorces?
    1
  1385. If they said "Heisenberg", should I tell them "Your godamn right!"?
    1
  1386. I bet these homeless people were hired to distract the old lady to give enough time for carjackers to snatch their prize
    1
  1387. That was a meekly apology
    1
  1388. Sure, that’s what they show on the first day, but they’ll never reveal how he will do AFTERwards!
    1
  1389. With climate change in the rise, this will become an annual occurrence
    1
  1390.  @Mockduck2020  That’s why I don’t click on anything suspicious and never buy anything online unless I have to
    1
  1391. I think Trump meant to say “blackleg” job
    1
  1392. Okay, it's official! The reporters from Inside Edition has gotten WAY too drunk last night!
    1
  1393.  @P0e44  And you’re stuck in the Stone Age!
    1
  1394.  @rainbowswirl3243  More costly than wasting years or even decades in prison? Now who’s the one that is slow?
    1
  1395.  @rainbowswirl3243  I was thinking of terms of letting the white hacker keep a small portion of the recovered money as payment
    1
  1396. She should be featured in Boxman's music videos https://youtu.be/aEe5INfISy4?t=5
    1
  1397. He has the determination and work ethic of SpongeBob Squarepants!
    1
  1398. Now we know why Lucky always cries at night
    1
  1399. I thought we’re done sending pizzas into space
    1
  1400. Man, what a diesel!
    1
  1401. So when is the next wave?
    1
  1402. The kids were the rotten ones at fault, yet they treated him as the most crabby apple in the river
    1
  1403. BAH, who needs trucks when you can rely on drones!?
    1
  1404. SURPRISE!! You got COVID-19! Happy birthday, loser!!
    1
  1405. Where the hell is Dr Bees?!
    1
  1406. She is SOOOO grounded!
    1
  1407.  @mordys6305  Maybe perhaps distribute them amongst the lower-class guests too
    1
  1408.  OH Yeh!  And get back up again
    1
  1409. All the kingpins and corporate drug lords would be itching to hire them as their personal orchestra
    1
  1410. I hope this won’t end up like that Chinese supermarket after everyone almost bankrupted the shop over a false rumor
    1
  1411. This reminded of that video of a banker running over a bike parade, because he didn’t want to be late for work
    1
  1412. She could’ve underwent more intense SEALS training beforehand
    1
  1413. There was no need for him to get off his bike— or in his case, his car
    1
  1414. This only works in RDR2 video games
    1
  1415. She should’ve used her sewing kit to stitch up whatever wounds that driver had and do a tutorial on that
    1
  1416. Is she going to play “It’s Getting Hit in Here” song to the lion on the next time she trespasses again?
    1
  1417. Animal accidents can strain your auto expenses deerly
    1
  1418. That confrontation suddenly went down the tubes!
    1
  1419. GTA V is getting WAY too real for me now...
    1
  1420. He really knocked him out of the ballpark!
    1
  1421. Finally, a brew very befitting for the apocalypse!
    1
  1422. My guess is that he may be convicted on criminal discharge of an illegal firearm; he was only testing his gun when the bullet accidentally fire by itself and somehow landed in the leg and neck of the CEO
    1
  1423.  @5headboi153  I never said her birthday
    1
  1424.  @mvvlm-22  She just died on Sept 8, 2022
    1
  1425. Looks like God was the one who struck a lucky goal himself!!
    1
  1426. Synthetic Meat, we’re in for a treat!
    1
  1427. Next: Twins react to 16th century bagpipe and accordion music
    1
  1428. I think I'd heard about something like that from "1000 ways to Die"
    1
  1429. Somebody should I impound that dog for driving without a license
    1
  1430. @ Why would I jiggle on a 3D map?
    1
  1431. 4D?!! That's like Donald Trump's report card!
    1
  1432. I wanna Pringles origin story next time
    1
  1433. OH, SO THESE two black doctors don't have to show their credentials on the plane?!
    1
  1434.  @diya314  Okay fine! Tanned!
    1
  1435. I just hope he won’t be enticed by a harem of girls and give up on his studies
    1
  1436. Talk about throwing shade
    1
  1437. What an eyeful of jawdroppers!
    1
  1438. Oh great! A crash course on how to be a paparazzi stalker!
    1
  1439.  @putinscat1208  Those who have either a love or hatred for donkeys (e.g dragons, ogres)
    1
  1440.  @raspberrysherbet5285  Go ask a redhead if it’s easy to dye their hair differently then. I’ll be waiting…
    1
  1441. She'll be lucky to even hold onto life with a bloody shanked vagina for even HALF that sentence!
    1
  1442. I wonder if he learned CPR from spongebob as well
    1
  1443. Yeahhh, I think I rather ride the NYC subway to record some REAL non-scripted fights
    1
  1444. Maybe there's some legitimate symbolism behind those sinkholes in Jerusalem...
    1
  1445. She didn't say "paragliding with guns blazing"
    1
  1446. It's only a matter of time before serial killers master time travel technology and mind-controlling robotics to make crimes much harder to track
    1
  1447. Donate that dog to medical research for sniffing COVID and I'll listen
    1
  1448. Damn, if only our hero Dr. Bees hadn’t died from that drug overdose back then…
    1
  1449. Beats gang shootings with real guns
    1
  1450. She has no understanding of the English language!
    1
  1451. Who's running the production and marketing, Pinkie Pie??!!
    1
  1452. I just hope I don’t end up climbing on top of a precipice and stand motionlessly with my eyes staring at the sun…
    1
  1453. Babies won’t be able to wiggle their way out of their diagnosis
    1
  1454. More like Grimeshare Regrexit Team!
    1
  1455. Okay, who let Dr Bees into the zoo?
    1
  1456.  @harsha1630  Too late for that!
    1
  1457. I don’t mind raising the price limit of the theft where stealing goods worth under that limit be treated as a misdemeanour—-so long as you punish the shoplifters with death if they dare breach that limit
    1
  1458. Next I suppose he's also secretly hiding a gay boyfriend!
    1
  1459. My older brother had the same borne problem back in the early 90s. He still lives with that ear, though it has undergone some reconstruction surgeries.
    1
  1460. So if a friend, family relative or any other person decides to walk away from you because they don't want to deal with you, you shoot them in the back?
    1
  1461. As long as they sent him to spend the rest of his parole inside a mental institution, I don't give a f**k how he spends the rest of his miserable life, so long as he stays the hell away from his former victims
    1
  1462. It wasn’t stalking her! It just thought the paddle boat was a giant fish to nibble on!
    1
  1463. I feel like a Gravity Falls joke coming up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbfDpQ7vmfs
    1
  1464. That’s why old people should start laying miniature bear traps in their pockets, just like Mr.Krabs’ old anti-theft invention
    1
  1465. Keep all baked goods under lock and key, and only invite customers via appointment
    1
  1466. They made the thief fork over the car, or else get forked over to the police!
    1
  1467.  @Wilson-ky30  Have you not watched Judge Dredd?!
    1
  1468. Next, he’s gonna post about surviving a shanking in prison!
    1
  1469.  @breangaming8675  He did comfort the insurrectionists and called them special, which ALSO happens to be an impeachable offense!
    1
  1470. Now imagine this happening in the USA...you think he wouldn't take this special offering opportunity?
    1
  1471. Why don't you just take the helicopter to work every day?
    1
  1472. This is why all police rifles should only be fitted with frangible bullets that break up upon impact onto a hard surface instead of ricocheting or piercing through walls
    1
  1473. How about you actually spend that capital of paying the return on investments into your insurance plans back to your customers, so they won't tank your stocks by murdering your corporate shareholders??
    1
  1474. Here's another idea! Buy one of those fake do-it-yourself Christmas tree assemblies!
    1
  1475. Like a disastrous day in Dunkirk
    1
  1476. If I had learned anything from video games, it's that taking the non-violent approach always lead to a happy endings
    1
  1477. More tips when your car is stuck at acceleration: Turn on hazard lights and honk your horn incessantly to warn other drivers of your malfunctioning vehicle If possible, gently drive towards a secured surface and scrape gently with your speeding car; a guard rail or concrete tunnel wall could act as your improvised brake system DON’T PUSH THE BRAKES SO SUDDENLY! This will increase a chance of your car skidding and you will lose control of your vehicle quickly! Instead, gently press the brake pedal firmly but cautiously, so your vehicle would have a chance of slowly gaining speed as opposed to rampantly gaining it
    1
  1478. I created my own similar military gas mask with a single charcoal filter can. I wanted to wear it in public, but my mom wouldn't let me for fear of attracting stares
    1
  1479. I hope their new BMW explodes and/or gets stranded in the middle of the desert with no fuel
    1
  1480. What other fake locations do these Tiktokers had conjured up with? Some of them may actually live on the moon or on planet Mars for all we know!
    1
  1481. Pharmacies and private hospitals need to take a triple bottom line stance to triple E medicine!
    1
  1482. Next time, we’re shooting the money looters—-and the driver who left the back truck door open!
    1
  1483. He’s baby Einstein!
    1
  1484. Next up: Mount Everest! (Just make sure you bring in poop bags first)
    1
  1485. I think he overstated his weight so he won’t be targeted by the bigger inmates
    1
  1486.  @zaithehedgewolf4587  We had this bottle since December 20 2017
    1
  1487. I see this more like neo-capitalism vs socialism
    1
  1488. Saddest ironic story ever
    1
  1489. These tourists clearly haven't read the Fault of Amigara
    1
  1490. Okay, no more Coke Zero for you!
    1
  1491. The only way to beat a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a pair of guns!
    1
  1492. Correction: Bear was trapped with the dog and was made the dog’s b1tch for three days
    1
  1493. I know of a great place where you can goof off in Spring Break with no holds bar: Antarctica!
    1
  1494. Now that we think about it now, that little girl’s spirit was just eager to wring her neck and asphyxiate her to death
    1
  1495. It's the new slapping meme trending since the "Batman Slapping Robin" trend
    1
  1496. Don’t worry! You’ll probably get your balloons back when you hear news about a power outage!
    1
  1497. I feel like did that, because they were easily offended by his bowl haircut
    1
  1498. The Sandy Hook PSA featuring kids at the first day of school seems too real now
    1
  1499. Who’s on trial, Big Bird?!
    1
  1500. I always thought it was a football accident
    1
  1501. I would’ve just told him to wear a chastity belt and a dog collar leash
    1
  1502. C'mon guys, don't exclude him! He can play as C3P0!
    1
  1503. This should be the next Top Gear episode!
    1
  1504. Call it the Doom Buggy!
    1
  1505. In the end, it was the rebel who got egg on his face
    1
  1506. Don’t you think this is a little to soon to be reopening wounds? There’s enough trauma from former victims who watched the Jeffrey Dahmer docu-series on Netflix.
    1
  1507. They’re all better off gaining education from the South Hampton Institute of Technology
    1
  1508. Looks like God had answered Pat Robertson's message
    1
  1509. He should be called the “Hinge Cringe”
    1
  1510. Okay, King Henry VIII!
    1
  1511. That really knocked his socks off!
    1
  1512. He must’ve looked through Adam Lanza’s profile and thought, “I’m going to do a pro-dick gamer move!”
    1
  1513. Did they learn do drive like that playing video games?!
    1
  1514. WRONG YACHT, UKRAINIANS!
    1
  1515. Maybe this Spring Break March Madness tradition is going on far too long enough
    1
  1516. Net animal is going to be a drug dealer
    1
  1517. This ISN'T what we mean by carpooling!
    1
  1518. They’re not high on spirits; they’re totally drunk on it!
    1
  1519. If only he was smart enough to develop a bail app!
    1
  1520. Now that's what I call community policing (NOT threatening to shoot the whole family over a Barbie doll!)
    1
  1521. What want her to do, carry a gun around at all times and possibly risk shooting innocent people in an attempt to shoot the coyote dead?!
    1
  1522. The bigger question you should be asking is: Who watches the watcher?
    1
  1523. These Reds literally pulled the white wool over their eyes to blind her from the black truth
    1
  1524. This is why we have an artificial tree
    1
  1525. I heard one man call 911 on his mother for taking away his beer. The 911 dispatcher told him it was a personal family matter and that he should not call 911 for frivolous grudges. Despite several warnings, police had to arrest the begrudged beer-deprived man and charge him with abusing the 911 hotline.
    1
  1526. Carl Manfred would have also been impressed, though he can’t let Markus know that or he’ll get jealous
    1
  1527. It is all amazing until you have to deal with black and Asian family photos
    1
  1528. Better start feeding these coyotes poisoned food so they can lost trust in us once again and finally leave us alone
    1
  1529. Maybe this is a bad sign…
    1
  1530. What would've happened the staff ended up leaving behind a sleepy terrorist, or a mentally challenged patient??!!
    1
  1531. And yet Kamala won’t let Guatemalans in,
    1
  1532. Do you also tell the roller coaster riders to not scream during rides?
    1
  1533. Yeah, I think I rather sleep on a hangover rope within a Victorian era poorhouse
    1
  1534. More like “Rise of the Moops”!!
    1
  1535. When he goes on a ventilator, I want someone to find which hospital bed he’s residing and cry out “1796!” to his face (1796 is the year the first vaccine was created and helped paved the way for eradicating smallpox)
    1
  1536.  @pepega3551  Hey, Tiktok was able to find this guy; can't be that hard to find out which hospital he may be sent to
    1
  1537. She’s like a reverse version of Ghostrider’s dad!
    1
  1538. That driver who killed him didn’t get all his ducks in a row
    1
  1539. Some fools never learn…
    1
  1540.  @Xane_Dragon  I was referring to parachute, jacka55
    1
  1541. Remind me to not go to Peru
    1
  1542. Unfun fact: After lasers break the tattoo down into manageable components, white blood cells (usually macrophages) consume those tattoo components, before carrying the digested molecules into your bloodstream to be excreted. Basically, it allows you to poop/pee out your tattoo.
    1
  1543. Who wears short shorts?!! https://youtu.be/9wDpigy4eFE?t=5
    1
  1544. For the dragon, HHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!
    1
  1545. I hope these two will dish it out in court towards whoever set up the satellite rig
    1
  1546. This has bad news bears all over!
    1
  1547. Send the lady Canadian geese to show these birds who's boss!
    1
  1548. Was she trying to replace Harley Quinn as Joker’s b1tch?
    1
  1549. Twist ending: He was selling a drughouse!
    1
  1550. This is NO laughing matter!
    1
  1551. When you crash the game so hard and your vehicle glitches out in GTA V
    1
  1552. This old reel better include a scene of a machine gun derailing the detective duo! P.S. Based on the fact that it takes 24 frames to show one second of film, my estimate is that this project will take 200 days to complete!
    1
  1553. Check their pubes, in case they have reserves
    1
  1554. I think I saw a similar commercial for a treadmill, only this time the wife critically told her husband (the gift giver), "You think I'm fat?!"
    1
  1555. This is why we use credit and debits cards. Can’t use your magic tricks on a piece of magnetic strip or ID chip
    1
  1556. She’s never going to read Moby Dick any time soon
    1
  1557. Well, when your dad just died the other day, it’s no surprise you would be suffering in your work performance
    1
  1558. Can’t we have challenges that DON’T send you to the hospital or an early grave?!
    1
  1559. DAMIT, I was hoping to see her play Farming Simulator 2021!
    1
  1560. Go to hell!
    1
  1561. I feel like this should be some kind of political omen here
    1
  1562. Man’s best friend turned man’s best man!
    1
  1563. I commented on this video 15 hours ago! That means Inside Edition had JUST reported on this right after the looting stopped!
    1
  1564. In Russia, recreational users actually dissolve the crushed and dissolved tianeptine pills into their veins in an attempt to avoid its withdrawal side effects However, since the pills contain silica which does not dissolve easily, the site of the injection becomes afflicted with severe blood clots and eventually necrosis, due to blocked blood capillaries
    1
  1565. What's next, canned bread??
    1
  1566. You do know getting vaccinated while pregnant will give your baby anti-COVID immunity as well, right? Dumb ass Karens
    1
  1567. Was he hoping to turn one of his neighbours into the Hulk?!
    1
  1568. Good, I’m glad she’s gone! We don’t need to deal with any more allegations about her employee abuse!
    1
  1569. Did he at least invite the sea lion to his speeches?
    1
  1570. I told you those inmates would treat him like a celebrity!
    1
  1571. 80% of the episodes will be COVID-related
    1
  1572. Karma is a b1tch
    1
  1573. Never trust a Nunes!
    1
  1574. Of course the deaf referee didn't get ruffled by angry parents! The woke mob would beat tear apart their asses wide open if they did!
    1
  1575. You can also try making a large pit trap and park your car just barely over the hole; that way, the thieves will fall further below the car as they crawl under the chassis
    1
  1576. Where’s “Stop A Douchebag” when you needed them?
    1
  1577. I am waiting for those right wing ducks to get triggered again
    1
  1578. You can switch bodies, but you can’t switch brains!
    1
  1579. They can beat roadrunners but not face cancer?!
    1
  1580. Next up: Pizza guy delivers hot pie within NYC sewers!
    1
  1581. I knew this wouldn't end well
    1
  1582. What if they use driverless cars?
    1
  1583. One step closer to becoming the first M3GAN!
    1
  1584. Defense force, my a55!
    1
  1585. Some rich people can’t be completely satisfied
    1
  1586. Can we build trenches in the beaches? They're basically just linear horizontal depressions on the sand, not deep vertical excavations, so....
    1
  1587. Any chance we could one of those spy camera guns on the home defence market?
    1
  1588. They better be up with the chickens before they ran out
    1
  1589. Friendship IS magic
    1
  1590.  @6filthy66  I found that out in Wiktionary
    1
  1591.  @weirdcatkid  It’s probably Mexican Spanish
    1
  1592. Sauna party anyone?
    1
  1593. What about Arnold Schwarzenegger?
    1
  1594. Now THAT'S what I call pro-life!!
    1
  1595. This video really sucks!
    1
  1596. Fit the golf carts with cowcatchers to push drunkards off the streets
    1
  1597. I have multiple pet goldfish at home. Do they count?
    1
  1598. If those two unleashed dogs end up biting someone, she’s going to be the one footing the medical bill
    1
  1599. Is OJ going to weigh in and commentate on EVERY celebrity trial in the news?!!
    1
  1600. So you rather have dinosaurs chase you down in the streets instead of bulls? Yeah, sounds like a swell idea!
    1
  1601. I bet they also planned to blame the grid attack on Canada and start another world war!
    1
  1602. She should’ve whacked the guy with the weight she was carrying. It would send him a much stronger message: Hit on women, and you’ll get hit back.
    1
  1603. She really must hate cameras!!
    1
  1604. The best about pool partying in your own home is that you don't have to worry about douchebag tanned beach bullies ruining your leisure and the occasional awkward beach boners from inadvertently glancing at hot babes
    1
  1605. On the bright side, no more annoyingly long lines!
    1
  1606.  @jsmith123  It’ll take a lot of effort, but it is worth gaining some valuable knowledge
    1
  1607. No more GTA for you
    1
  1608. Everybody in town was ready to go John Wick on his ass!
    1
  1609. Like dumb father, like dumb son
    1
  1610. I feel like her death is a bad omen for what's to come in the show's final season
    1
  1611. Okay, I’m calling it! That pilot pushed Charlie outta that cargo door!
    1
  1612. The councillors of the High Table should be lucky he chose to not bring his gun today
    1
  1613. I don’t even want to be even 50 km (31.25 miles) from the Canadian-USA border after seeing how they negatively politicized the pandemic and let millions of their own citizens die from COVID-19!
    1
  1614. Now Doritos is going to create a puffy brand as a result of this accidental discovery!
    1
  1615. Not as epic as 127 hours, but considering his age, that's still incredible
    1
  1616. Looks like the airline didn’t got this in the bag!
    1
  1617. They first start out with garbage trucks. Sooner or later, they'll come back with a truck full of napalm and flamethrower fuel.
    1
  1618. Let’s see if they can try that same technique with a spiked barbed necklace
    1
  1619. This is why women should be an expert on women
    1
  1620. They must be so excited and inspired by the new Reacher 2 film!
    1
  1621. Who's the moron now?!
    1
  1622. It's only when Trump does it
    1
  1623. This is the power of the mere exposure effect
    1
  1624. Reborn and then borned again!
    1
  1625. He should be lucky that he didn’t inadvertently killed him by break his ribs and puncturing his lung
    1
  1626. They turned the amusement park to a disheartenment park!
    1
  1627. SWEET HOME ALABAMA
    1
  1628. Selfie with animals is not always cute
    1
  1629. Just stick with the chairs and leave the guns out of the house!
    1
  1630. If he went any further, this graduation would’ve turned into an inhumation
    1
  1631. Mythbusters already tried that with lasagna
    1
  1632. Very fitting for him, considering the size of his package
    1
  1633. Wouldn’t it be better to just sell the damaged cars for scrap?
    1
  1634. If you think that’s astonishing, wait until winter comes and he’s called in for an emergency shift to keep the heat generators running!
    1
  1635. I bet her honeymoon period lasted just as long, if not shorter
    1
  1636. Shelllddooonnn Cooooppeeerrr!!!!!
    1
  1637. Jayson Boobert was insulted that his neighbours said he’s dumb as a post, so he ran over their mail postbox to disprove their point
    1
  1638. Is there an end of the rainbow at the exit?
    1
  1639. No word on whether garbage butlers accept leftover cannibal meals
    1
  1640. Can we PLEASE just ban ALL cruises INDEFINITELY??
    1
  1641. Dress up as an invisible ghost!
    1
  1642. A bronze star?! She deserves a Purple Heart!
    1
  1643. I guess his navy unit malfunctioned, so he ejected out of the plane to ask for directions back to home base
    1
  1644. My God! It seems that Marcus from Detroit has got some competition to meddle with!
    1
  1645. Bottle of liquor, you're gonna get sicker Can of beer, you're in the clear
    1
  1646. He may be sent by the devil to punish for our carnal sins, but little did he know that the strippers were protected by a heavenly saint in disguise!
    1
  1647. As long as they don’t go around praising the deaths of all the innocent people they killed or brutalized, I’m all for it…
    1
  1648. I don't CARE if he has special needs! If the inmates find out he attacked a teacher, they're going to add MORE mental problems into his brain!
    1
  1649. Hmmm.maybe you police aren't all bad filthy pigs
    1
  1650. Bleed those big fat bloody leeches dry!
    1
  1651. ​ @johnrambo6265  How about I call YOUR American people who died in 9/11 meat shields who took the brunt of the terrorist attacks?
    1
  1652.  @aaaaaaaawwwwwwww  America had killed several thousand innocent Vietnam citizens during the Cold War and killed Iraqis after 9/11. Does that justify occupying and besieging major cities of USA, just because they also have far right-wing presence within political circles?
    1
  1653. No hands on the wheel is an understatement. Tesla drivers have no brains!
    1
  1654. Lay off the beans next time
    1
  1655. WITNESS MEEEE!!!!!
    1
  1656. In spite of being at a loss for words, Bruce is still more intelligent and linguistically fluent than all the pro-Trump stalker fans combined
    1
  1657. They should also be worried about the rising violent crime rates related to rising temperatures
    1
  1658. He is just mad that the Virgin Mary failed to saved a loved one from the pandemic
    1
  1659. See, this is why you use the foldable inner mirror above you to act as a sun shield
    1
  1660. He really sweeped the floor with him
    1
  1661. Next up: World Record for Most Gargamels in one place
    1
  1662. Next, I wanna see a 1930s breast washer still being used!
    1
  1663. Leggo my Legos!!
    1
  1664. As long as these athletes don’t post a racist tweet, accost someone in a public outburst or caught using illicit performance-enhancing drugs, I’m all for it
    1
  1665. He’s getting a beating off camera back home
    1
  1666.  @jcarole1787  I don’t even have a dog, ya gonk!
    1
  1667. That bear was Sawry he broke into the wrong house
    1
  1668. My boss always get emails like this one. She just deletes them and pay no mind to them, even if they do seem threatening
    1
  1669. Note to self: Train dogs to sniff for illegally smuggled exotic pets
    1
  1670. Disney sure has come a long way from producing propaganda war films against Germany to making German kindergarteners lost in thick greenery
    1
  1671. Look, down at the sidewalk! It’s a copycat, NO—-it’s a tracer!! He’s CAPTAIN PLAGIARIZER! Able to copy other superhero moves and costume designs yet can’t fight back like an actual superhero!
    1
  1672. You guys act like she was dancing near a corpse! Sometimes people need a little relief from the day-to-day grind!
    1
  1673. American officials didn’t allow the Birdman of Alcatraz to watch his own movie! What makes you think this prison will allow the brothers to watch their own docu-series, let alone even allow Netflix in prison?!
    1
  1674. Next time, respond her with “Hey, this is America! It’s a free country! I can do whatever the f&$@ I want!”
    1
  1675.  @bigbomb6533  Still a noble sacrifice either way
    1
  1676. 3:01 That statement is technically correct. Had they actually interfered and not stand around idly as she laid there in pain, she would've had a likely chance of surviving.
    1
  1677. It’s heat exhaustion
    1
  1678. Sooner or later, those mechanics will fit steel shells and chained tires on their rides
    1
  1679. @Lil. Kev Jr. HEY, it's not about the money! It's ALL about the adventure, right?
    1
  1680. That’s one way to save your business from a pitfall
    1
  1681. Don't worry. When one door closes, another one opens! We might renovate this into a COVID-19 pandemic history museum!
    1
  1682. This is the complete opposite of order!
    1
  1683. They need to fix a leak in their plane bathroom
    1
  1684.  @1truthbegettingtold275  You're starting to sound like those parents in the video.
    1
  1685. Do spiders dream of eight-legged sheep?
    1
  1686. You know you f**ked up when even Trump supporters go nuts over you
    1
  1687. For those wondering why Diet Coke fizzes more in high altitudes than other soft drinks, here it is! https://www.bravotv.com/top-chef/blogs/diet-coke-takes-longer-for-flight-attendants-to-serve-on-airplanes-bubbles
    1
  1688. Two words: Man Catcher
    1
  1689. Can that hypnotist also help us mesmerize anti-lockdown protesters into staying home for the rest of the new year?!
    1
  1690. Coffin Dancers feeling so disappointed right now
    1
  1691. Talk about going postal!
    1
  1692. There’s as much toxicity in East Palestine like there is in actual Palestine!
    1
  1693. Who even have time to hold fancy burials these days!?
    1
  1694. If they had learned anything from stage performances, it’s when to properly take a bow and exit left stage
    1
  1695. What's next, I can't ask Santa for a water-hose bazooka?
    1
  1696. You sure gave him a foot-and-mouth disease
    1
  1697. Same rule goes for homeless people
    1
  1698. On the bright side, the kids won't have to worry about getting noogies, wet willies and neck pokes from mischievous peers anymore
    1
  1699. Well, time to bring in the dog!
    1
  1700.  @realretrorelapse  If she was, then she wouldn’t had the sense to be driving drunk out of her mind in the first place and be caught wearing that (unless she’s doing that to intentionally smear BLM)
    1
  1701. @ Crashing into other parties and then trying to avoid responsibility by making excuses or diverting attention away from the crime
    1
  1702. This must be stolen by that same teenager from South Carolina who threatened to kill their pet dinosaur to "take care of business"! https://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/alex-stone-arrested-after-u-s-teen-wrote-about-shooting-pet-dinosaur-1.2756924
    1
  1703. Nice try! We’re not falling for THAT one again!
    1
  1704.  @llenaaangel  And exorcist priests!
    1
  1705. Drug Junkie: “It’s free real estate!”
    1
  1706. Makes you wonder if Alex Jones would actually end up killing his own kids and eating them out of metal paranoia some day…
    1
  1707. Someone top doctor definitely switched the drugs while she was not looking to make her look bad
    1
  1708. I wonder if Trump's blonde hair dye will also run down during his concession speech
    1
  1709. Dammit, Hammy!
    1
  1710. Damn Watchdog rogues!
    1
  1711. The store managers must had felt very scrambled. Hopefully, the police will quickly crack the case.
    1
  1712. Next up: Bullet casings for lipsticks!
    1
  1713. What's next, a public lynching wedding?
    1
  1714. The zombie defence sounds like something out of “Dead Rising”
    1
  1715. This only works in the courtroom soap dramas, dude
    1
  1716. The GOOSE is LOOSE!
    1
  1717. Please don’t follow Harambe’s footsteps, Franklin
    1
  1718. Paul Flart did it better
    1
  1719. And she did it all without relying on someone to slap someone in the face!
    1
  1720. Sounds like a plot for Chicago PD
    1
  1721. I like to see him play the Coffin Dance song
    1
  1722. At least he wasn’t using the cheat sheet to check on instructions on how to converse with mass shooting victims
    1
  1723. He’s more of a bane of society than the one who flaps in the night
    1
  1724. **Discontent intensifies!**
    1
  1725. He brought a mechanical shovel large enough to dig all five graves!
    1
  1726. Some people never change
    1
  1727. >> Sees an actual garbage man who is actually smart https://youtu.be/WRlIDIu2qpg?t=77 Incredible minds! Incredible thoughts! I'm so overwhelmed! How did my brain conceive them?!
    1
  1728. How many Milf milking machines do they use to conjure up all that cream to make all the icy desserts for the working class?
    1
  1729.  @pixelette98  AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
    1
  1730. And you said that the IPhone’s crash-sensor technology is useless!
    1
  1731. I would've farmed them and sell them at restaurants
    1
  1732. This is where Boston Dynamics kicks in with their new four-legged rickshaw carrier
    1
  1733. They can disguise themselves as construction workers and can steal a whole building without raising suspicion
    1
  1734. Thanks a lot, Karvunidis!
    1
  1735. This is why you use paper ballots
    1
  1736. The euthanasia rollercoaster is more safer than all the rides mentioned
    1
  1737. Fake stars dancing with the Real stars
    1
  1738. Two words: Higgs Bastion
    1
  1739. Now that's a plus-ultra moment right there!
    1
  1740. Update: https://globalnews.ca/news/5050875/trinity-love-jones-arrest/
    1
  1741. He’s not catfish! He’s a lionfish that needed to be put down!
    1
  1742. This is like something from Far Cry
    1
  1743. Imagine if she visited the Poison Garden. It’ll be like a buffet to her!
    1
  1744. They must've gotten their roller coaster parts imported from Sweden
    1
  1745. There should be a war crime law against this
    1
  1746. Shitzu has hit the fan!
    1
  1747. If this is how much women drink during lockdown on average, imagine how much wine Beth from "Rick and Morty" drinks during lockdown
    1
  1748. Why is everyone hungry, hungry, hungry for hippos??
    1
  1749. They never learn, do they?
    1
  1750. Solution: Wear spiked padding on your legs
    1
  1751. At least he’s willing to display his true nature in the White House and honestly show that the government is being run by criminals Not many dictatorships today are brave enough to do that
    1
  1752. @ Power thirsty??!! His belly’s already distending from over-hydrating in the swamp!
    1
  1753. I can think of two white lies that the teacher and principal can wear on their next court date “I never went to that frat house! Have you’ve been to that frat house!??” and “My friend didn’t host a party for her students, and all I got was this amazing T-shirt!”
    1
  1754. He's the real Timmy Turner!
    1
  1755. Discontent rises greatly
    1
  1756. I remember drawing a comic about a disgruntled celebrity beating up a man in a street fight. Later, she experienced medical complications in her throat that were severe enough to recommitted surgery. It was only after she got in the operating room that she met up with the very same doctor that she hospitalized, and he was going to commit some medical malpractice
    1
  1757. I can't wait for the one BILLIONTH passenger!
    1
  1758. A vehicle won’t stop them, but heart problems and arthritis will
    1
  1759. Of course the scammer chickened out! He didn’t want to face the fact that his dishonest scheme had indirectly led to his handler being killed on the job!
    1
  1760. He certainly was a smash smash smash hit, and in spite of his rotten kick, he still is…
    1
  1761. Does he also dive down into a random haystack to break his fall?
    1
  1762. I wonder if they can also hire them as body bag haulers during the COVID-19 pandemic
    1
  1763. So two young white dudes can go out in the parking lot to shoot randomly and be justifiably arrested without any incident (and with some hesitation involved), but the moment a young black juvenile points a BB gun without firing a shot, he immediately gets killed within two seconds of the police getting out of their car???
    1
  1764. Can’t you just use a metal oil can or a trash can to contain the solid fuel for your makeshift heater?
    1
  1765.  @hahna77  I swear that this happened. The details may be very fuzzy because it has been a long time ago since I heard about that tragic story from my high school teacher and on the newspapers. Maybe it was actually tennis, or perhaps he got hit in the head by a racket during a four-player round.
    1
  1766. Ahhh, the good old days of airplane drama after the pandemic
    1
  1767. More like Rent a Car, Own a Criminal Record!
    1
  1768. The technical term for a device used for fractal burning is Lichtenberg generator
    1
  1769. Nunes' cow would be so proud
    1
  1770. Good for you! Now go cover the hospital floors with those same bills to cover the emergency room costs!
    1
  1771. CHOOOOOOCCCOOOOOLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTEEEEEE!!!!!!!
    1
  1772. I’m more of a late owl kind of person who likes to eat at 4 am
    1
  1773. On the bright side, at least there’s no cases of hidden infidelities!
    1
  1774. Give this girl a mullet! She earned it!
    1
  1775. Congratulations! You just robbed a poor killer whale family of their only meal!
    1
  1776. Is this a Hobo with a Shotgun ripoff?
    1
  1777.  @jeigee  No, but I don’t rush into conclusions and claim everything is fake on default either
    1
  1778. I think I found a way to turn right-wing fascists into what they call the “inferior” race and let them have a taste of their own verbal medicine!
    1
  1779. Will it blend a blender?
    1
  1780. So when do we get to the part where they tell all about their adventures whatever magical otherworld they discovered?
    1
  1781. He could've kept the machete, because apparently the suspect was a terrible shot even at point blank range
    1
  1782. Now go do the same for the African and Indian students who got sent back to the line during their exodus out of Ukraine!
    1
  1783. Just ban and destroy all cruise ships now!
    1
  1784.  @emirachelnatalie3397  Yeah, but how often do they get called out for having to take care of their own kids?
    1
  1785. Of course they spared the dog! Halle Berry and her two dogs would’ve killed them all if Mia was left alone!
    1
  1786. If some lady comes up to me at a bar and I notice her eyeing my watch, I’m going to steal her virginity before they can steal my watch. THEN we’ll see who’s too embarrassed to report to the police!
    1
  1787. I wonder how much money would Betty's ""White Power" poster would fetch for
    1
  1788. Damn reddit investors!
    1
  1789.  @arre3591  Tell it to THIS guy! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLYVTdiACRA
    1
  1790. Can I have one with Charles Manson's mugshot?
    1
  1791. Reminds me of Union Street Guest House that threatened to fine guests $500 if they posted a bad review about their hotel experience
    1
  1792. If she was singing during the flight like that annoying Christian band, then we have a problem. But the plane hasn’t even taken off yet. If the passengers verbally vote for her to get off the plane, then she should leave.
    1
  1793. What is she supposed to do, hire an adult babysitter?!
    1
  1794. I bet he can write better poems for President Putin than Annalyne McCord
    1
  1795. This is why there should be push barriers along the subway platforms
    1
  1796. The officer almost missed the cushion
    1
  1797. That gun must've been passed down from Amon Goth's time
    1
  1798. See, THIS is what should've happened when the deer arrived at the hospital after getting hit by a car! https://youtu.be/PvqZNqsrHv0
    1
  1799. Why do I get the feeling she ordered the hit on her own son?
    1
  1800. Man, Rugrats and All-Grown Up has gone downhill ever since its last airing
    1
  1801. They see her rollin'! They hatin'! They only stop her 'cause they see her ridin' dirty!
    1
  1802. Another safety tip: Slide in a pair of wool gloves onto the bottom legs of the ladder for better surface grip
    1
  1803. I’m delivering justice AND justice in 30 minutes, or it’s free!
    1
  1804. I just hope they found them before this turns into a “Lord of the Flies” situation!
    1
  1805. And dogs have less brain cells than the chewed battery with voltaic cells
    1
  1806. The worst part is that his livers’ insurance probably wouldn’t cover this malpractice
    1
  1807. Not done by over 9000 people??! Disa POOOIINNTTEEDDD!!!
    1
  1808. I can't wait for him to grow old enough to ride a hovercar!
    1
  1809. Lightfoot should've finished with "Karen has the balls to derelict her own a$$ before speaking"
    1
  1810. It tastes awful, but it works
    1
  1811. This is why I hate flying around the world...
    1
  1812. So does this cannula pump use an Archimedes screw mechanism or has a series of micro turbines to pump the blood?
    1
  1813. Damn, there’s go my chance of collecting free meat on the road
    1
  1814. Suuureee ! That's what the government wants you to think!
    1
  1815. Maybe he should try playing "It's Getting Hot in Here" to set the romantic mood
    1
  1816. Niagara Cow: Ha, pathetic!
    1
  1817. Soon enough, robots will be joining the humans in the union for their right to receive better wages in their digital cryptocurrency accounts
    1
  1818. What is this, North Korea?!!
    1
  1819. Make special locks for popsicles too!
    1
  1820.  @extremebeastreaction6245  OR maybe it's because the Israelis keep raiding those smuggling tunnels they use to bring in food and medicine!
    1
  1821.  @WaterspoutsOfTheDeep  They WOULD leave the Gaza if the Israelis didn't keep stopping them from leaving. Israeli people should be more ashamed about dishonoring the memory of the Holocaust victims by becoming the very same oppressors they had escaped from back in 1940s Germany!
    1
  1822. That is flipping bananas! Who’s gonna buy this, that chimp professor from the Umbrella Academy?!
    1
  1823. It's not a VICI from "Testees"
    1
  1824. To be fair, I would've killed anyone who spout a racial slur at me if I ever get out of my year-long lockdown
    1
  1825. He’s more of a bane of society than the one who flaps in the night
    1
  1826. Thank goodness Canada is starting to wean off those plastics!
    1
  1827. I wonder if he’ll make a grand departure by being mobbed and thrashed by his former sex partners
    1
  1828. I thought this was a Five Nights at Freddy's scenario (also 1000th comment!)
    1
  1829. Is she trying to become the next Disaster Girl ever since that meme got sold off for a big fortune?
    1
  1830. Let's lock Vincent up inside a basement cellar for 90 minutes; see how HE likes it!
    1
  1831. This just goes to show that nature’s anti-theft porch pirate system is working effectively
    1
  1832. We better find the body fast before the husband decides to use black magic to transform himself into a chicken to avoid arrest!
    1
  1833. Alabama is like slightly worse than California when it comes to violent crime rates (crime incidents per 100,000 inhabitants). Might as well reinforce your home with steel bars and buy a few home defence shotguns/rifles as well (assuming you’re sane enough to use them)
    1
  1834. Guess you could say their marriage started out to be stormy!
    1
  1835. Heading back to pre-modern times before the supermarket, eh?
    1
  1836. More like SOUR 16 birthday party!
    1
  1837. That's nothing! I heard of one man proposing to his girlfriend while being tried in court for murder. After the judge ordered the bailiff to escort the victim's family out of the courtroom, he allowed the newlywed couple to continue with the nuptials and even arranged for their marriage to be officiated. The judge even baked them a cake later on to celebrate the occasion. After the end of the wedding though, instead of a honeymoon, the convicted murderer was sent to prison to serve out his life sentence.
    1
  1838. Next funeral, I wanna house!
    1
  1839. Sounds like something from a Coke Zero commercial https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0X_I3Tfq6ak
    1
  1840. GOAT simulator seems to be suffering a few virtual glitches
    1
  1841.  @imanonattorneyspokesperson  More like errands
    1
  1842. ……maybe the top doctors alter the medications beforehand to make the nurse look bad?
    1
  1843. Delivering justice AND delicious food within 30 minutes, OR it's free!
    1
  1844. And English people say black cats bring good luck
    1
  1845. When teens rule the world
    1
  1846. The women in the car didn’t want any more competition in their neighbourhood!
    1
  1847. Yeah he, I think I’ll just put a bowl of ice at an open window sill and let Mother Nature blow the cooled vapor into my suite
    1
  1848. Billy Ray Cyrus called! He wants his mullet back!
    1
  1849. He’ll be using his ex-wife’s wedding dress as snow camouflage
    1
  1850. Will Lady Gaga be part of the movie?!
    1
  1851. I smell sabotage
    1
  1852. >> 3800 hospital visits per year due to pizza-related injuries How many of those injuries were caused by the Pizza Throwing Tank made by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OeOni98WEgk
    1
  1853. LIke we already experienced Bear Shark before
    1
  1854. You can now stop making "We will have flying cars" comments, everybody
    1
  1855.  @Mike1923-s2r  I dunno. I heard of a 4-chan story about a psychic who once drew a picture of a plan crashing into twin towers way before the actual 9/11 attacks. As he grew older, he spoke of an upcoming new American revolution and said he saw visions of aliens taking over Earth, killing anyone standing in their way and reanimating the corpses for their horrific scientific experiments in their flying ship...
    1
  1856. Does this theivin’ lady have a bone to pick with?
    1
  1857. Wow, that video was a total buzzkill…
    1
  1858. The woodpecker must’ve mistaken Brittany as Ms. Meanie and attacked her out of instinct
    1
  1859. When you build your society on fire, sooner or later, it will all burn to ashes…
    1
  1860. Then they got followed into the bathroom during their couple's shower and the sleuths said, "Making new children already? Shouldn't you be worried about your old ones?"
    1
  1861. Solid Snake he is not!
    1
  1862. See, this is why you use a petty cash lockbox to store your money and keep written receipts to stay on track with your money
    1
  1863. I am so sick of crazy fans stealing souvenir
    1
  1864. I hope some day, his grandchildren will crash in their kids' holographic interviews with their children's boss and get a taste of the dad's medicine
    1
  1865. Putin is a genius….and EVIL genius!
    1
  1866. Don't worry, guys! It's ALL part of the training exercises! (Winks at Iron Man behind the scenes)
    1
  1867. So long as you haven’t cheated with a porn actor
    1
  1868. Maybe his lizard body is rejecting his human skin
    1
  1869. Yeah, because every time I played Pac-man, it makes me wanna eat white dots and devour ghosts!
    1
  1870. Best deal ever!!
    1
  1871. No more child kidnapping for you!
    1
  1872. I guess that throws away my anticipations for a Frostpunk-themed apocalypse
    1
  1873. 11 different countries? Doesn’t that technically make them illegal aliens?
    1
  1874. Remind me again why we call drag people groomers and molesters again
    1
  1875.  @SlLENCE  Exactly!
    1
  1876. Strange they never cancelled the “Flash” in spite of Ezra Miller’s lack of social manners outside of the studio
    1
  1877. Can we help by donating leftover grease from our fryers!?
    1
  1878. They make terrible pets,, but they do make an excellent dinner meal!
    1
  1879. I AM—-THE LAWN!
    1
  1880. They’re really spinning the wheels in the cycle of violence
    1
  1881. In other news, Antifa and the Socialist Party from Britain ALSO gets banned from Twitter! Soon, this social media site will be nothing but a husk made of the accounts of boring crusty old hermits
    1
  1882. Just goes to show you that winter and summer season don’t fit together
    1
  1883. I am always on edge about getting fired. It’s why I come back from work with bite marks and callouses on my hands and fingers.
    1
  1884. This reminds me of cute Instagram video of Mya posing with her mother Kerryann Haughton (aka Maserati XXX)
    1
  1885. Next time, bring chilli bombs!
    1
  1886. You forgot to add in another tip: Buy a shotgun (No shells required. Just point and threaten to the nearest potential predator to scare him/er off!)
    1
  1887. I always thought red is the colour of provocation and danger; they’re usually worn by women when they want to seek a quick fling
    1
  1888. My mom told me I have to keep my washroom clean every week, or else something like this would happen someday
    1
  1889.  @MultiTurbospeed  Good, because that country sucks anyway! And the prison food probably tastes better than their restaurant food!
    1
  1890. Did they consummate their marriage in the mile high club's privacy chamber?!
    1
  1891. Now all that’s left is to find a cat-girl friend!
    1
  1892. If they’re going to lock up Americans in Russian gulags, then we should start locking up Russian war criminals in Guantanamo Bay
    1
  1893. Give the teachers guns, they said! They’ll protect us from the bad guys with guns, they said!
    1
  1894.  @iii___iii  stupid racist dragon policy!
    1
  1895. You knew if she was black, she would’ve been immediately shot dead
    1
  1896. Forget sloth! This animal is more like the wrath!
    1
  1897. Maybe try retired life in a treehouse; not so easy to rob a dwelling high up in the air without a ladder or proper climbing equipment (and don’t forget to intake the various stuff the retirees can throw at you)
    1
  1898. They need to soundproof the jury room
    1
  1899. I like to see them lash out while playing Call of Duty multiplayer
    1
  1900. This is going to end with an insurrection like the Jan6 incident if Parliament doesn't do something about it! And I'm not exaggerating. The leader of this convoy, Pat King, literally advocated for a Canadian Jan6 takeover of Parliament!
    1
  1901. He should be lucky the police didn't go John Wick on his ass!
    1
  1902. Must be one of those Silent Hill bunnies
    1
  1903. Maybe don’t name your private omnipresent security systems after a description of blindness! That’s like naming your alarm system In-security!
    1
  1904. Oh no! They might take away the mail-ordered bride I had stored in the postal office!
    1
  1905. It’s way pass time we did any fake alien column artifacts
    1
  1906. They’re just practicing for their upcoming repossession and asset acquisitions of Russian oligarch yachts!
    1
  1907. What, no ball and chain?
    1
  1908. Next time, stick with the Canadian house hippos!
    1
  1909. It’s all fun and games until one guy decides to fill the case with bricks (or mentions Mike Pillow in an effort to boost sales!)
    1
  1910. That is so Watchdogs
    1
  1911. They’re just jealous they got beat by an 6-year-old
    1
  1912. Americans say the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun In Canada, we stop bad guys from getting guns, while only giving good guys guns (as reasonably and feasibly as we can)
    1
  1913.  @yayger825  I DON'T mean the Hawaiian greeting sign!!
    1
  1914.  @CheekyBird888  No, your mom!
    1
  1915. Can they also understand sign language and compose orchestra masterpieces like the tulkun though?
    1
  1916.  @gadhhfhf9412  Then at least demonstrate what he did wrong and what he did right; sure beats every other brutal police video where the arrested or accused gets shot or threatened
    1
  1917. What kind of employee who quits over safety concerns puts the whole scene in danger before leaving? That sounds kinda hypocritical and self-defeating, don’t you think?
    1
  1918. Just your run of the mill abuse story, just as always
    1
  1919. A finger?! Let me know when they construct the whole arm and hand on a limb, so we can use it to commit crimes without leaving fingerprints!
    1
  1920. I bet they're going to collaborate to form Cash-for-Rich-Kids to help only first-class families' kids get out of jail if he's released
    1
  1921. She’s oughta be fitted with a glass eye by then…
    1
  1922. I thought Ezra Miller was planning on dressing up as a worm!
    1
  1923. This is why we have Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat series for a reason, people!
    1
  1924. I wonder how many teen girls are only watching this like DILF content
    1
  1925.  @TheRandompaint  Where in the news did they mention the flag is someone else’s property?
    1
  1926.  @TheRandompaint Instead of blaming the flag burners for destroying the symbol of patriotism, maybe figure out what the US government is doing wrong to trigger that type of response
    1
  1927. Maybe next time, use Flex Spray
    1
  1928. I’m sorry, is this another GTA V fail video?
    1
  1929.  @avecrux333  Right, as if being sent to a more expensive hospital without your knowledge and being footed with an expensive tab out of network isn’t a terrible fate at all…
    1
  1930.  @avecrux333  That’s rich coming from a nation that has the highest COVID infection and death rates than any other country during the initial start of the pandemic
    1
  1931.  @avecrux333  Keep telling yourself that!
    1
  1932. Guess it’s guess plain chopped potatoes and cheap vodka for you zabityy!
    1
  1933. Dude, leave the two-wheel driving stunts to the professional doubles!
    1
  1934. This isn’t America, guys! In Britain, you can ACTUALLY get arrested for running over protesters, UNLIKE SOME PARTS OFMTHE USA!
    1
  1935.  @equarg  No, the oil will just bind with the non-polar hydrocarbon tail of the amphiphatic phospholipid molecules in soap! Didn’t you pay attention in chemistry class??!
    1
  1936. OH, so THAT'S how we got Mr. Crack from the parody cartoon "Spongebong Hemppants"
    1
  1937. How the hell am I gonna avoid scurvy while sailing??
    1
  1938. Now she’ll be counting stones for every day that killer rots in prison. She’ll have 500 jars full by the end of his sentence.
    1
  1939. In the far future, those narco-subs would be fitted with handmade torpedos
    1
  1940. From running with hot chicks to getting the hot seat for stealing them!
    1
  1941. We need to bring back Beyond Scared Straight
    1
  1942. That’s a tad bit of a stretch
    1
  1943. Sounds like his sales pitch is a lot of hot air
    1
  1944. She surely did got her rival’s goat, because she was jealous of that GOAT’s popularity
    1
  1945. They stole that idea from the Flintstones!
    1
  1946. If you can’t even secure pedos in your custody, how can you expect to protect the citizens from terrorists?
    1
  1947. The latest Surgeon Simulator upgrade pack is looking really fine, though I don’t know if it’s in my price range.,,
    1
  1948. My parents picked a bad time to fly to Los Angeles
    1
  1949. Even truck tires don’t want to go to the convoy!
    1
  1950. A sh!tstorm is brewing—and this time, alcohol isn’t the factor!
    1
  1951. EAT IT, JEFF BEZOS!!
    1
  1952. Well now he can brag to his fellow inmates that he killed a guy for asking too many questions
    1
  1953. Bull: THAT’S FOR EATING MY WIFE!!
    1
  1954. @ Sounds like excuses
    1
  1955. What’s next, I can’t claim to do my chores of mowing the lawn because I used gas mower instead of a scythe?!
    1
  1956. You think he knows that whole soundtrack playlist from “This War of Mine”?
    1
  1957. Considering they train their dogs to sick on the younger generation, that's not surprising
    1
  1958. This is why I propose a large publicly funded pizza cookhouse, where everyone (including the homeless) gets free pizza in the morning as their default breakfast from a large fuel-efficient coal oven that can cook multiple pizzas for the local neighbourhood
    1
  1959. This is why I don’t go swimming in the ocean unless I come with a pair of stilts
    1
  1960. This is why I hate cruises
    1
  1961. Now if ONLY we can do the same for tiger penises!
    1
  1962. Marriage: A sentence that lasts 20 years to life!
    1
  1963.  @awordsomeworld8498  Well, draft lyrics approved by his publicist
    1
  1964. You can ALSO use a lunch bag!
    1
  1965. He should've killed that bobcat with a golf glub!
    1
  1966. He’ll be back to terminate Putin if this war doesn’t end soon….and it won’t be with words this time!
    1
  1967. Smokey is only doing his role in protecting the forest wildlife; he is not interested in partaking affairs involving other bears
    1
  1968. He saved a lot of lives that day….
    1
  1969.  @Civvie  Better safe than sorry though
    1
  1970. He’s no Judge Dredd!
    1
  1971. Can they also artificially age the person in real-time and possibly morph them into a trafficked prostitute?
    1
  1972. Dammit Micah!
    1
  1973. WHY did you fling the bird off???! You could've wringed his neck around and took it home as a free dinner!!
    1
  1974. Who lived in this house, some sorta witch?!
    1
  1975. Next up: A Drive-thru drug den!
    1
  1976. @Jay Italia Quit supporting corrupt cops
    1
  1977.  @HarpSeal  No, he was definitely joking back then!
    1
  1978. He reminds me of myself when I accidentally spilled the final product during a lab excercise
    1
  1979. This is not like that American Volcano movie
    1
  1980. What's next, a lion and a bear?
    1
  1981. I would follow their examples, but all of their extra baggage seems too much too carry. I’ll just stick to being a wet blanket during this firestorm
    1
  1982. GODAMN IT, BREVIK!! NO more PlayStation for you!
    1
  1983. This ain't no baby shark dance he was fooling around with!
    1
  1984. And people say 7 is supposed to be the lucky number
    1
  1985.  @FlavianPJM  How about you start being a realist instead of getting your hopes up about everything that seems positive?!
    1
  1986. What a load of bull—!
    1
  1987. Good thing the python doesn’t know hypnosis!
    1
  1988. How can you be a competent heart doctor if you’re not fully aware of the risks of flying with a medical condition?!
    1
  1989. Has this gal not seen John Wick 4?
    1
  1990. Love the shirt he was wearing at the meeting! A homage from the John Wick series
    1
  1991. Really?! A Cat living with a dog!? These two animals don’t go together very well!
    1
  1992. Hey, let’s go find out if those anti-vaxxers had family and friends that died from COVID and gather around and laugh at their funerals!
    1
  1993. She's doing the elevator dance
    1
  1994. Any fast food is considered “healthy” IF you exercise to compensate for the gain in calories
    1
  1995. I like them to commit the next ultimate challenge: The "Toss the Salad" challenge!
    1
  1996.  @afghans0ldier  That doesn’t change the fact that there were kids at risk!
    1
  1997.  @titan8084  Then stop replying to this comment and start doing something productive in your miserable life
    1
  1998. 2020??!! That's this year!!
    1
  1999. It’s a giant butt plug for politicians to egg on them to pass more effective climate change bills
    1
  2000. Do they have dogs that read them drama novels like “Faster than the Speed of Love”?
    1
  2001. I think I might had read something like that on a Creepypasta story about people posing as social workers to kidnap children and implement them into a secret sex blood cult
    1
  2002. You’re supposed to wait until Halloween to throw eggs
    1
  2003. You should be so lucky
    1
  2004. When push comes to shove, the Secret Service will even shoot the president in order to protect the president (non-fatally, of course)
    1
  2005. He should be lucky the guard didn’t break his legs and turn him into a double amputee in the upper region
    1
  2006. I hope he gets locked up with Jared Fogle and be forced to eat his five-dollar foot long!
    1
  2007. Bad for Storage Wars, Good for Shawn Woods!
    1
  2008. YOU’RE NOT THE VICTIM HERE!
    1
  2009. I wonder if she heard her swear about the Gamestop Stocks
    1
  2010. Those legs better help her walk like an ibex up an incline
    1
  2011. Fancy burials?! Who has time for that?!
    1
  2012. Godamnit, how many shopping weekday holidays does America have on their calendar?!
    1
  2013. And people wonder why postal workers carry pepper spray these days
    1
  2014. One of these days, her sister Luna will grow up to resent Sol and engage in a light-vs-dark epic battle, before Luna herself gets banished from the family for an indefinite amount of time
    1
  2015. I feel like it is because their prices had deflated too much to stay afloat, and losing its wings
    1
  2016. She's as old as the war that caused her demise!!
    1
  2017. This is nothing! Last time, they simulated an emergency drill involving a zookeeper dressed in a giant orangutan suit!
    1
  2018. This is why we shouldn’t sell smartphones to dumb people!
    1
  2019. 0:57 And this time, we also brought tons of gasoline cans with us!
    1
  2020. 50 kroner says he’s ex-military
    1
  2021. First pirates, then drug dealers, and now street pickpocketers! Parrots need to stop hanging out with shady characters!
    1
  2022. On the bright side, at least the Super Guppy will now take its place as the biggest surviving cargo plane in the world
    1
  2023. This isn’t how I remembered Ghost Rider went down
    1
  2024. Well, that was a waste of taxpayer money! We could've just got a regular ladder and left it by the tree!
    1
  2025.  @alexm566  More like five 1.5-m ladders tied together
    1
  2026. Why can’t you just use a cellphone light?
    1
  2027. That fiancé is getting laid tonight!
    1
  2028. It’s like that scene from GTA V about that scam repo business!
    1
  2029. Zelensky will have better chance receiving aid from Canada
    1
  2030. This is way better than any wedding I attended
    1
  2031. I thought only angels fall from heaven and demons crawl out from hell
    1
  2032. What have you done!? Now he’s going to harass you for errands and invite his entire raccoon family to gang-stalk you!
    1
  2033.  @Kevin-rf4bj  Because Cosby convinced his victims that people would not believe their story and shame them into keeping the scandal secretive
    1
  2034. When my Lambo on the track, won't fall back When I'm riding at speed, get that neck crack
    1
  2035. What’s next, I can’t use the word “rake” on Facebook?!
    1
  2036. The truth will set you free!
    1
  2037. We rely on them for our daily commutes, yet the cities keep throwing them under the bus!
    1
  2038. AMAZON: “They can’t be stealing people’s money out of their hard earned paycheck! That’s OUR job!”
    1
  2039. If my parents ever goad me into traveling outside the country for summer vacation, I'm gonna persist on refusing until they buy me a Shock Alert!
    1
  2040. I don't know if I should be offended for selectively targeting an Asian establishment or enamored by their love for Asian cuisine!
    1
  2041. Oh rats—-I MEAN, good!
    1
  2042. FINALLY!
    1
  2043. Look for anyone with dislocated thumbs
    1
  2044. I wonder if they’ll organize a high school prom night in a prison
    1
  2045. I thought that only goes for Sherlock fans
    1
  2046. I’ve seen better construction from bandit camps!
    1
  2047. This is home is for the people of New Zealand, not for animals of New Sealand!
    1
  2048. Wait, did he just stole that name from "Proud Family"?
    1
  2049. Her nephew has a very interesting way of exclaiming “I object!”
    1
  2050. All that's missing is the dog shouting "I'M THE NIGGAH, YEEEEAAAHHH!!!"
    1
  2051. This is how Jane Wick is born, fellas!
    1
  2052. Finally, a Karen who actually deserves praise!
    1
  2053. Life has been pretty scruffy for her
    1
  2054. Ever heard of Pykrete?
    1
  2055. I’m going to add this to my list of perfect action hero assassination methods
    1
  2056. What do you expect? The FBI confirmed Putin is autistic!
    1
  2057. But then how would they force her to open the door to their house then?
    1
  2058. We need to send some vinegar cards to this card dealer
    1
  2059. When real life imitates art
    1
  2060. Prison meals still better than any college meal plan
    1
  2061. And people wonder why American infrastructure gets a D+
    1
  2062. They should also add an additional security bouncer in case they encounter any anti-vax dissidents
    1
  2063. This is why we have CC captions nowadays
    1
  2064. Being a sight for sore eyes, Jessy could use a couple special drops in her coffee herself
    1
  2065. Next, we read her a communist manifesto!
    1
  2066. And if all of those tips don’t work, just protest at your local power station and demand them to turn up the heat in their homes! You don’t wanna end up like Texas like last year, do you?
    1
  2067. We got enough clowns on the rode riding those self-immolating bird scooters and electric bikes on paved roads! We don’t need to invite even more!
    1
  2068. I bet this is going to be dropped within 6 months
    1
  2069. Update: Georgia parole board decided NOT to release the rapist!
    1
  2070. He may be Murderaugh, but once he’s out of augh, he!s gonna get murdered!
    1
  2071. Bet it was worth every penny
    1
  2072. BAM! Uno Reverse Card I’m taking you to jail for the worst charge Taking a stroll in your squad car Doing a couple donuts right up in your front yard
    1
  2073. We need to start locking up Reds at Guantanamo Bay!
    1
  2074.  @footballartistn7463  My mom’s Mercedes-Benz is similar, though you still need the presence of the key close by in order for the car to be activated
    1
  2075. It’s crueller to let him live on his back than die on his knees
    1
  2076. If anyone wishes you a happy new year in 2021, tell them to f**k off
    1
  2077. I hope the healthcare in prison is much better than United
    1
  2078. They had this old lady up a tree!
    1
  2079. Oh thank goodness
    1
  2080. Still waiting on someone to incinerate his bully's house with a Molotov
    1
  2081. LMAO: Looking Miserably Asinine Onstage
    1
  2082.  @Bitchslapper316  Which is why she should've yelled at her sooner!
    1
  2083. Wow, imagine what would happen if they lost!
    1
  2084. Wait until his exoskeleton becomes militarized
    1
  2085. Looks like we traded one biological pandemic for a psychological one!
    1
  2086. Live fast, die young
    1
  2087. Also on the uptick in sales: porno vids and mags, sex dolls, phone sex subscriptions, condoms and lube
    1
  2088. Too bad California didn't sign the drunk child supporter law like Tennessee (P.S. I wonder if he's going to reward one of his followers on guessing the correcting number of years he'll spend in prison)
    1
  2089. This is why you don’t advertise your secret lair! It’s like Doofemshmirtz 101!
    1
  2090. Instead of painting with his brush, he got painted with his own blood
    1
  2091. To be frank, the fact that they used paragliders as their mode of transport is pretty creative, even by Far Cry standards
    1
  2092. How long before people start having a pizza party around this tower before the wrecking crew comes in?
    1
  2093.  @seanpetaia That’s why I mentioned migrating sea mammals
    1
  2094. @ what a load of fluff!
    1
  2095. Okay, which one of you world building deities forgot to turn the physics algorithms back on after experimenting?!
    1
  2096. Moo havoc and let slip the cows of war!!
    1
  2097. Discontent rises greatly
    1
  2098. IF YOU CAN’T TAKE HEAT, MAKE KITCHEN!!
    1
  2099. Perhaps we can pay a visit to the McDonald’s worker to reconfirm his witness account and reboot his memory
    1
  2100. Who leaves an anti-tank landmine (and other deadly live ammunition) underneath a residential house!!? Was the previous owner a paranoid prepper?!
    1
  2101. Either way, that leaking mine left off a massive devastating explosion, topped off with extra gunpowder! @atobe1844 
    1
  2102. From really far away
    1
  2103. It's like Stalingrad, but on steroids
    1
  2104. That’s like a dollar per 16 cm!
    1
  2105. Offer them to every anti-vaxxer rally for free!
    1
  2106. Wonder if they sell red wedding dresses
    1
  2107. She is an awesome baby boomer!
    1
  2108.  @donotsupportterroristgroups  Likely story
    1
  2109. Maybe the killer was using a suppressor
    1
  2110. Now I want car phones back too!
    1
  2111. I thought this is America, not goddamn conservative India!
    1
  2112. See, this is why you should always tell the kids and their parents about your immediate lawn mowing before starting the job; that way, the grass will always stay greener on your side
    1
  2113.  @hexmedia7680  Localized entirely within a ghost kitchen?
    1
  2114. Did she told those Friends fanatic people on Instagram to shut up three times?
    1
  2115. My brother once joked about the idea of a superhero that spreads ignorance from his body during a bank robbery; I never knew that there really was a real-life Ignore Man
    1
  2116. I think the city’s generator has been on overdrive that day
    1
  2117. Next time , get Alligatin Marshpaddler to deal with the gator!
    1
  2118. She got RHOC-ed AND rolled!
    1
  2119. With a President on their side who can play the piano with his dick, these sappers already got the confidence of their big steel balls to perform such a feat!
    1
  2120. What in the actual hay?!
    1
  2121. It’s a literal pedo plane!
    1
  2122. Finally, a substitute to pink slime!
    1
  2123. What’s next, international spanking?!
    1
  2124. Man, he must even forgot how good the honeymoon sex was last night
    1
  2125. Ahhhhh, so that’s how they induce fake happy tears at a wedding that nobody wanted to attend!
    1
  2126. This country went from paradise tourist attraction to dystopian cesspool in a few years!
    1
  2127. Who does he think he is, D.B. Cooper?!
    1
  2128. If the Tesla car can’t survive a pit bull attack, how can we be sure his upcoming “bulletproof” truck models will be impact resistant?!
    1
  2129. She would be a pro on the Oregon Trail
    1
  2130. It's black and orange, just like the colours of Halloween!
    1
  2131. In spite of the ordeal, these equestrians look healthy as a horse
    1
  2132. Who’s next, Tommy Wiseau?
    1
  2133. The Vault of Our Stars!
    1
  2134. Ironically, the officers had no legs to stand on for the killing of the double amputee
    1
  2135. Why is not fired?
    1
  2136. CCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    1
  2137. Why not 500 miles? And then walk 500 more?
    1
  2138. Regardless of whether she ordered it or not, that guy was being a total dick for punching a woman
    1
  2139. Also, it’s a much easier date for forgetful husbands to remember!
    1
  2140. What’s next, we can’t comment about his new movies being good without implying that his previous movies were terrible?!
    1
  2141. Alcohol was the factor
    1
  2142. Was that Muppet taken from 1970s-era Mississippi, when they literally had the show banned for one month for having an integrated cast?!
    1
  2143. The city council’s concerns couldn’t be more ironic from the truth
    1
  2144. Good luck…
    1
  2145. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BF6ct9ZEq5s
    1
  2146. They must had outsourced their production to China
    1
  2147. Fanny packs makes it much easier for terrorists to smuggle dynamite and wild furry beasts!
    1
  2148. I hope the owner doesn't watch porn in front of that parrot
    1
  2149. I wonder if he still have first-person footage of their honeymoon!
    1
  2150. Here I am to tell you that if the government redirected their funding towards training all civil servants (including police) on how to save people instead of shooting them, communities would have a better trusting bond with the police
    1
  2151.  @dianafelix3490  I’m planning to go to Europe
    1
  2152. I'm sure the Russia news propaganda will someday reveal which crisis actor played the deceased pregnant woman seen in the video
    1
  2153. Burn down the playground! That'll stop them from gathering together into one giant Petri Dish!
    1
  2154. If you think that's funny, wait until there's a killer robot vacuum from the show "Testes"
    1
  2155. Even if it was meant to memorialize 9/11, who cares? The French continued going to rock concerts shortly after the terrorist attack on Charlie Hebdo! What difference does it make?!
    1
  2156. Why is this news again? Old people like them have trouble with the stairs, yet I don't see people making a fuss about them on the news
    1
  2157. He was just blowing leaves when this guy decided to blow some steam
    1
  2158. He was already off his bike before the chase even started
    1
  2159. Theory: Overwhelming work stress from overload of patients Alternative theory: He’s an insider who was part of the Cleaners faction, but got killed by his own partners for failing to achieve the objective of burning the hospital to the ground
    1
  2160. It’s nun of these guys’ business!
    1
  2161. Considering that barbers did used to performed crude surgeries before these professions became separate, this isn’t too far off
    1
  2162. He probably didn’t want to be charged with deadly assault or murder against law enforcement, which could carry very ramifications
    1
  2163. Well, at least he lived up to his last name
    1
  2164.  Cheryl Wilson  She never mentioned "skin"
    1
  2165. Meh, not like his workplace is any less disgustingly confined
    1
  2166. Didn’t the British tried penal colonization with their transportation act and it ended up creating a whole new country?
    1
  2167. If Kyle Rittenhouse can get away with shooting two people who attacked him with a skateboard, why not him as well?
    1
  2168. I wonder if they're going to blame affluenza for his f**k-up
    1
  2169. I can’t wait for Fox News to construe this as the war against Christmas!
    1
  2170. How long before these two decide to sell their prizes to pay for their healthcare when they get sick with the COVID?
    1
  2171. They should’ve brought in a giant wind-up monkey playing the cymbals too
    1
  2172.  @anthonymiu489  Hello, rainwater??!
    1
  2173. How much toil does this world have to take??!!
    1
  2174. Wow, the Fast and the Furious franchise must be going downhill recently
    1
  2175. That plastic operation was very well on the nose
    1
  2176. Do they also work for smallpox scars?
    1
  2177. This reminds me of how inmates would sometimes cover up their hits by having a group of his peers loudly sing "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" to block out the screaming, while he viciously stabs his targets
    1
  2178. It also helps discourage the diaper snipers from taking a peek at them during practicing hours!
    1
  2179. Just because your last name sounds like your occupation doesn’t mean you’re for for it
    1
  2180. This is why Canada got rid of the pennies in their currency
    1
  2181. Reminds me of Plague Tale:Innocence
    1
  2182. You should’ve just sent him to the same jail where Epstein was, so he could asphyxiate himself later
    1
  2183. She may had been shaken, but its her boss who should be stirred up about this legacy
    1
  2184. He went from down the hill to down the hole!
    1
  2185. This is exactly the setting for Tom Clancy's Division
    1
  2186. He should’ve used the “lost contact lenses” excuse like in the SpongeBob SquarePants movie!
    1
  2187. Usually, we just blow it up with dynamite…
    1
  2188. Didn't we air this story before? I feel like we'd been over this same tragedy already
    1
  2189. First McDonald’s, now Dunkin’ Donuts?!
    1
  2190. Buy some bear mace too while you’re at it!
    1
  2191. She gave the intruder a different hairstyle without a single dye by turning his hair white with fright!
    1
  2192.  @spiritualisrael007  What about the hacker who threatens to post the nude images?
    1
  2193. Thank goodness they had the knowledge and expertise to not descend into a Lord of the Flies situation
    1
  2194. He’s gonna become a famous human urinal!
    1
  2195. We live in a society...
    1
  2196. He's going to be shouting at all the mentally disabled chefs in his special restaurant some day and make them regret their life choices!
    1
  2197.  @beetlebob4675  That was a joke
    1
  2198.  @beetlebob4675  I'm one of the latter. I am aware of Tom Cotton's idiotic persistence of a Singaporean politician being associated with China and the hilarious memes that comes with it.
    1
  2199. He is definitely grounded until his heart gives out
    1
  2200. I just hope they didn’t encounter one of Shmebulock’s mischievous friends
    1
  2201. Aaron Esser: That sounds more like my kind of vacation!
    1
  2202. It's all fun until someone thought it would be funny to stretch a line of jump rope near low ground as the motorcycles pass by
    1
  2203. I think the proper term should be "excommunicated'
    1
  2204. Now he’s serving the rest of his life detention….IN HELL!!
    1
  2205. Next time, I wanna baby fighting competition! youtu.be/z1oz3-Qe4ss?t=7
    1
  2206. How about hiding a dead body?
    1
  2207. RED MEANS STOP!!!
    1
  2208. Miss Starfire would LOVE this!
    1
  2209. I don’t know much about plants, but I think Doug may be suffering from gall cancer
    1
  2210. Break glass in case of emergency
    1
  2211. That's like arresting someone for making false fire emergency call on a 911 hotline after you managed to contain the house fire before the firefighters arrived!
    1
  2212. This story got my hair on fire like Anger in “Inside Out”
    1
  2213. Also, remember to put away your crash-detecting phone before sex!
    1
  2214. Cars aren't the only obstacle that prevent these teens from handling the stick
    1
  2215. Talk about a nearly dead dropped call!
    1
  2216. They're evolving
    1
  2217. This is why I don’t like to go out anymore
    1
  2218. That driver who crashed in that family was totally out of his world!
    1
  2219. Her new YouTube Channel should change to “8 years”!
    1
  2220. They can also reprogram these same robots to test the potency of poison in your food
    1
  2221. I'm surprised they didn't end up being boiled alive!
    1
  2222. She didn’t die from a stroke. She’s just feigning her death so she could escape her former enemies before moving to a new haunted house.
    1
  2223. I don't think the attendant did that by accident...
    1
  2224. Little do they know that the homeless man was actually a paid left-wing saboteur hired by liberals waging the war on Christmas, MWHAAHAHAHAAHHA!!!
    1
  2225. This pandemic has really sent society to the dogs
    1
  2226. Cooper will grow up paralyzed but fuming with a grudge against his more abled twin brother Luke and may ironically end up shooting him out of jealousy when he grows up
    1
  2227.  @obi-wankenobi1159  In this decaying day and age, it’s more than likely
    1
  2228. Had they not learn anything from that San Francisco bridge incident that killed one dog?!
    1
  2229. This is how WW3 is started
    1
  2230. With people going digital today, I doubt we'll see more of those "wallet time capsules" in the far future
    1
  2231. Light it on fire and you will get yourself the most radical surfing competition of all time!
    1
  2232. They should just burn the whole house down just to end this garbage curse
    1
  2233. Technically, it’s a deflagration, not an explosion. Explosion implies a sudden violent heated reaction that results in a rapid release of energy radially from its origin of ignition. Deflagration is sudden combustion of across a flammable gas or across a surface to deliver enough energy to propel a projectile.
    1
  2234. What if the owner passes on their dog to another person and shifts the blame on them?
    1
  2235. The Germans could’ve taken this opportunity to pelt the super yacht with eggs
    1
  2236. You know what? In case they do come back, let's rig this house to blow up and burn down in flames
    1
  2237. I’m always thumpin’!
    1
  2238. Her next book should be called “The Abysmal Spiral”, because that’s where her soul will be headed down! PTSD trauma does not excuse profiteering exploitation!
    1
  2239.  @claytonhorn7195  Honestly, I don't care who wins. Nothing's gonna change. Even if Biden wins, the world is only gonna get shittier at a slower pace.
    1
  2240. That’s probably not the only giant snake she has encountered in her lifetime
    1
  2241. Why can you not just order pizza like everybody else?
    1
  2242. Next time, bring baby food
    1
  2243. Pigs vs pigs! The ultimate showdown!
    1
  2244. Like the fish they serve, their actions were in the raw!
    1
  2245. Decades from now, ALL of America's shootings will be forgotten because of the deteriorating state of their democracy
    1
  2246. You heard of homeland security! This is homie security!
    1
  2247. You can also order items online these days. The only person you’ll accuse of stealing is the delivery driver!
    1
  2248. This war is heating up and getting bombed to the core like Applebee’s cheap fried chicken tenders!
    1
  2249. Nononono, you’re supposed to head inside home during a heat wave, fill the tub with ice cold water, get a snorkel and submerge yourself underwater, before relaxing yourself in an underwater deep sleep
    1
  2250. Usually, overuse of artificial fertilizers cause this kind of massive eutrophication
    1
  2251. She could’ve used her spare time in the store to build a treehouse or a secret woman cave
    1
  2252. Discontent rises slightly worldwide
    1
  2253. Ironic that the rescue dog needs rescuing
    1
  2254. I would've just gather up all the pennies in a bag, break into whoever sent these pennies and crush him to death with his own stash
    1
  2255. That's what you get for stealing other people's food!
    1
  2256. What they need is an e-lectrocution tamper-proof locking device that will shock the thief after a few clicks on the e-bike
    1
  2257. How many times do we have to teach you this lesson, old man?!
    1
  2258. We’re going back to the old days of vintage general stores
    1
  2259. They have been tested in land mine detection, so why not viruses?
    1
  2260.  @SkuuchiMane808  Only if we don’t diversify the watch
    1
  2261. Seriously, I was expecting a chocolate bar at the end of that finishing line
    1
  2262. Mitch McConnell could’ve won this competition hands—-errrr—paws down!
    1
  2263. At that old age, I doubt she would reoffend. She’ll get her a55 r**ed if she ever tries to hold somebody onto the ground again!
    1
  2264. Imagine some director made a movie about this and they pick this flick as their next one
    1
  2265. Everyone’s a goddamn critic!
    1
  2266. There is no such thing as an accident if it can be prevented
    1
  2267. That means goodbye
    1
  2268.  @jakeilano6821 Are you certainly Aladeen about it?
    1
  2269. Forget a nursing home! She needs to be locked in the hoosegow!
    1
  2270. I think Dr Bees has found his new sidekick!
    1
  2271. At least Simmons won’t be complaining about the movie about his biography
    1
  2272. This is why you install mesh guards and flue caps
    1
  2273. This went from a snowstorm to a shitstorm
    1
  2274. Sure beats cups made from elephant poo!
    1
  2275. It’s so popular right now, you can say the book sales has gone through the ceiling!
    1
  2276. OH NO... Anyway....
    1
  2277. This makes me want to make myself a bearfeeder!
    1
  2278. Captain Barbarossa knows your pain... https://youtu.be/q3t1cNd6QoA?t=100
    1
  2279. At this point, I think it would be much better to let them be raised by a pack of wolves
    1
  2280. This is why you donate money, NOT materials!
    1
  2281. These kids get scared of anything. I saw a video of kids running away from a purple bear mascot!
    1
  2282. ...they're dead...
    1
  2283. Life's a beach, but it's a bigger beach when you're st*pid
    1
  2284.  @maricruzgarcia7346  and no one’s life was at serious risk during the filming!
    1
  2285. It's the spiciest sensation to DIE for!!
    1
  2286. What do you mean they’re back?! You idiots still continued to party even during the lockdown!!
    1
  2287. This is why I don’t go to the movies anymore, unless if for a few specific franchises
    1
  2288. Ever thought about shooting the car windshield to break into the car and wrestle the driver out of his seat?
    1
  2289. Just attach some overhanging cables and hang that vehicle by its undercarriage!
    1
  2290. Don’t forget to bring your Rambo teddy bear Sentry Turret!
    1
  2291. Amateurs! I land myself a job that offered a THREE day workweek!
    1
  2292. @ So don’t you
    1
  2293.  @Lukenukem8732  It means you don’t smile either
    1
  2294. @ Same f***ing difference!
    1
  2295. @ Ever heard of a metaphor?
    1
  2296.  @sawmorebuttz  At least they’ll trust their own judgement instead of outdated map software
    1
  2297.  @DavidKen878  At least the paper map won't vocally insist that you cross that "bridge"
    1
  2298.  @xenobackpains5800  Because any word from the higher ups will affect how the world reacts and runs
    1
  2299. Always count your blessings
    1
  2300. Did she had a bad acid trip and met an imaginary scarecrow, robot and pussycat lion after that?
    1
  2301. I’m not so concerned of her breaking into any more cars as I am about her breaking into the wrong car occupied by someone who is most protective of their vehicle
    1
  2302. Was her picture being taken next to a van dear Graaf generator?
    1
  2303. I don't know if I should be overjoyed or terrified!
    1
  2304. In case you want to know how she summarized this: " You could've stopped it. It was five hours from when I told you it was going to happen. I don't get how you couldn't have stopped that. "
    1
  2305. You know what? That pink slime meat sounds just about appetizing for lunch right now
    1
  2306. Not exactly what I would put on my bucket list
    1
  2307. Usually, I just pace around back and forth while watching my Ipad
    1
  2308. She may be a wreck, but at least she emerged like a phoenix out of the fire!
    1
  2309. If he wanted salvation from God, he’s a little too late for that
    1
  2310. Someone hadn’t gone down that chipotle burrito thoroughly…
    1
  2311. If more people were like that these days, we wouldn’t have these flash mob robberies happening all around the USA
    1
  2312.  @calisongbird  They still operate similarly like flash mobs though
    1
  2313. This went from Everybody Hates Chris to Everybody Hates Will!
    1
  2314. 200 gold coins say the treasure is cursed
    1
  2315. God decided it was not this old lady’s day yet!
    1
  2316. He looks more like a scaredy cat trying to pose as a lion
    1
  2317. He’s not a bad man. He’s just a bad mobster who sucked at his job!
    1
  2318. That clinic is going to be under a lot of pressure for treatments that sound like a lot of hot air
    1
  2319. Would you rather have a fat chick breastfeed her baby in public?!! (Come to think of it, that does sound kinda hot...)
    1
  2320.  @timewizard1719  Sorry, I made a grammar mistake. I’ll fix that later on
    1
  2321. What a slime bucket!
    1
  2322. Think with your head on your shoulders, not between her legs
    1
  2323. THERE, you got your "flying car" story! HAPPY NOW??!!
    1
  2324. I’m calling it! That crash was rigged so someone in American Idol can move up the ranks!
    1
  2325. If he was black, he would've been shot immediately with no regards of the children's safety
    1
  2326. You’re a Royal Guards Marine, and you got your ass killed by your own ex-girlfriend?! Apparently, time had dull your skills and mind, unlike your knife!
    1
  2327. Have we become TOO desensitized to gun violence these days??!!
    1
  2328. A hat stolen by a thief will burn -Yiddish proverb
    1
  2329. They need to come up with THC breathalyzers fast
    1
  2330. U.S. Healthcare denies life insurance, we deny them assurance warranty of life!
    1
  2331. What’s she gonna do, hook up random victims, tease them about their magnanimous expenses, offer them extravagant useless gifts, and threaten to beat everyone up with a baseball bat if they don’t agree with her charity as she unleashes hell?
    1
  2332. I’m more surprised they actually got them the right kid, unlike last time!
    1
  2333. He endured way too many blows in the head while playing ball, and now he’ll receive the same treatment while having his balls played
    1
  2334. And that’s how Elmo Extreme was born!
    1
  2335. Just goes to show that bicycle pedals + lots of alcohol + multiple passengers = inevitable disaster
    1
  2336. I am SO glad I decided to stay home
    1
  2337. (Chubbemuyu sweats profusely)
    1
  2338.  @pattiannepascual  Stop ruining the joke!
    1
  2339.  @michaelseidenberg2323  But that’s how I interpret the Z You got a problem with that, Red?
    1
  2340. It’s all good until someone takes this opportunity to buy 10 jerrycans of gasoline in one sitting!
    1
  2341. A scalded dog dreads cold water
    1
  2342. I remember seeing those on a picture book about venomous creatures back in public grade school
    1
  2343. Now replicate the homemade car submarine test!
    1
  2344. Last time drugs got incinerated, it made a British war reporter laughed his ass off
    1
  2345. I think a two-year-old would’ve already figured that out in 14 seconds
    1
  2346. He's going to be COMBING through all those papers while his lil' diddy's getting elastrated
    1
  2347. This is why you keep digital copies of every paper on your laptop as well as physical copies in your cabinet
    1
  2348. Another fun fact: Banzai skydiving is a more extreme sport in which you throw out your parachute backpack from the plane first, before jumping off the plane to catch up with your parachute backpack and use it to descend slowly to safety
    1
  2349. Not the kinda of bomboniera gift she was expecting
    1
  2350. No wonder America is going looney these days! All that lead poisoning from that imported Canadian mud must’ve poisoned their brains and goaded them into raiding the Capitol! As a Canadian, I feel so ashamed!
    1
  2351. Just replace it with some artificially flavored plaster of Paris. I’m sure they won’t know the difference.
    1
  2352. GUYS, LEAVE BRITNEY ALOONNEEE!!!
    1
  2353. Girls Gone Legal!! WOOOOOOOHH!!!
    1
  2354. At this point, Hollywood’s might consider dramatizing mass shootings
    1
  2355. The drunkard isn’t going to be well-protected in jail
    1
  2356. I was shown an ad on condos before this video played. COINCIDENCE?! I THINK NOT!
    1
  2357. He even looked like that juvenile criminal from Robocop!
    1
  2358. Haven't they learned something like that could happen in video games?
    1
  2359. You know who else abuse people with treadmills?! British soldiers who force penal colonists to operate it to make their own bread rations
    1
  2360. Always see the wood for the trees
    1
  2361. Very funny, guys! You’re not fooling me with those deepfake clips and photos of Trump anymore!
    1
  2362. Discontent rises greatly
    1
  2363. Reminds me of an Old Master Q comic depicting that same scenario
    1
  2364. Talk about being scared outta your pants!
    1
  2365. This is how you lose company profits and revenue in the long run
    1
  2366. This is why nobody loves Marineland
    1
  2367. Now ride a train through the ocean!
    1
  2368. Did you get attacked by a racoon along the way?
    1
  2369. You know they could still stare at bikini babes with better figures online on their phones, IPads, computers and laptops, right?
    1
  2370. Is there a Trump villain in the story?
    1
  2371. She got surprised by a dropped call!
    1
  2372. Sometimes, I wish they would've demolish that supermarket
    1
  2373. Reminds me of Cheeto from Video Game High School, who initially was sent to VGHS by BrianD’s mom to keep him company and caused a stir for violating a no-animal school policy. Eventually, Cheeto actually helped BrianD achieve victory in a game competition and was allowed into the school by becoming VGHS’ official mascot!
    1
  2374. That’s very deep, man! Like—-VEEP, man!
    1
  2375. Oops, she did it again!
    1
  2376. Someone give this owl a fresh batch of mice!
    1
  2377. Is this even bearly legal??!
    1
  2378. Finally, some sensible millennials who aren't all about being lime-lighted under social media!
    1
  2379. Next car he’ll smash will have an armed driver
    1
  2380. How much is the auction price for the food menu that was served a hour before the Concordia sank?
    1
  2381.  @johnnykurplutzo6789  I'm just saying this out of experience of watching other pedophile and sexual assault news reports on Youtube!
    1
  2382. Why didn’t he just pull the fake carsick trick and steal a vehicle while they’re distracted?
    1
  2383. Up next: Couple brings back what looks like a baby puppy, turns out to be a sewer rat with rabies!
    1
  2384. It’s MANBEARPIG!!
    1
  2385. He’ll be more than okay! With that badass mask in the ring, he’s going to earn himself an even more fierce reputation in the ring after that incident!
    1
  2386. That was for Snake Island, sukas!
    1
  2387. We might need to breed dogs that can tackle through car windshields later on....
    1
  2388.  @SUGAR_XYLER  Just no access to news channels
    1
  2389. Alcohol was the factor
    1
  2390. Just wait until he stars in the next Aliens franchise!
    1
  2391. How else can they cover operating costs in electricity, utilities, labour, repairs and maintenance of the restaurant?
    1
  2392. The city did nothing. The pavement was his enemy.
    1
  2393. Great for maintaining your escape run from the police!
    1
  2394. More like determination almost endangered the dog!
    1
  2395.  @_S-O-S_  ​ @KRYPTOS ROCK is a DJ too MAKE UP YOUR MINDS
    1
  2396. GREAT, now his girlfriend is going to see this video and scold him for lying about her weight, and accuse him of flirting mid-flight!
    1
  2397. All that gas could’ve been used to BBQ his own chicken special
    1
  2398. See, this is why you should implement universal healthcare. So we could avoid bringing in leeches like her!
    1
  2399. https://youtu.be/z8zTDvqHH6k?t=9
    1
  2400. Very strange and funny of you to report this camel attack on a hump day
    1
  2401. Hey, does that mean we can legally call this house a boat to avoid property taxes?
    1
  2402. It’s called Endless Shrimp deal, not the FOREVER Shrimp Deal!
    1
  2403. They could also try selling them to restaurant farms where they can breed them as domesticated meat and cook them up into hearty meals My mom once had a pet rabbit when she was young (she used to live in a rural village), but when she got too fat, her family (including herself) cooked her up and ate her
    1
  2404. I told you that he likes his popcorn very well done!
    1
  2405. @boy Afrika okay, Sorry! Anti malaria pills!
    1
  2406. So THAT explains why those short child-looking anime girls have such an adult age!
    1
  2407. Talk about a nude awakening!
    1
  2408. John Wick approves!
    1
  2409. She almost became another Jack Daniel victim!
    1
  2410. SONO LA TEMPESTA AVVICINA!!
    1
  2411. It’s a good thing the officer didn’t decide to take a peek inside the pooch’s poop chute for drugs
    1
  2412. This feels like a bad omen coming up...
    1
  2413. FiretrUCK!
    1
  2414. That little critter?! Kicked out?! That's un-possum-ble!
    1
  2415. As long as you love me We could be starving, we could be homeless, we could be broke As long as you love me I'll be your platinum, I'll be your silver, I'll be your gold https://youtu.be/R4em3LKQCAQ?t=130
    1
  2416. I wonder if the sudden frost also froze the corona virus at its tracks
    1
  2417. Wait, nobody told him she died?!
    1
  2418. Don’t forget to bring 30 pink sauce bottles!
    1
  2419. That's why I have a homemade gas mask with double charcoal/borax filters
    1
  2420.  @rickydickydoodahgrimes1234  Afraid of a little competition?
    1
  2421. Hopefully, they brought in the extra security who will mandate every trick-o-treater to bring a clear candy bag
    1
  2422. He went from seeking riches to biting dust off a woman on the rag
    1
  2423. Talk about a successful fire sale!
    1
  2424. I can’t wait for people to leave hateful notes on the perpetrator!s door front!
    1
  2425. Move over, lemmings!!
    1
  2426. I'm an attack helicopter!
    1
  2427. These dogs would’ve been put to sleep if they messed with a different breed of bikers
    1
  2428. I’m not surprised. They once underestimated FDR’s success, because they only relied on telephone surveys, not knowing that not many owned a telephone back in the 1900s!
    1
  2429. He's an idiot for using an electric vehicle that doesn't run on flammable fuel!
    1
  2430. How about keeping the man's attention on her during negotiation while her partner clandestinely goes around the man and tackle him from behind??
    1
  2431. Elliot the Moose hasn't been the same ever since the show got cancelled
    1
  2432. This only works in Assassin’s Creed
    1
  2433. On the bright side, you got yourself a free sauna!
    1
  2434. It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there!
    1
  2435. Only if you live in warlord-era China!
    1
  2436. This is revenge for the forest fires you caused, Australia!
    1
  2437.  @tyl7385  21?
    1
  2438. Maybe next time don't come to your son's daycare while on Adderall!
    1
  2439. You know, this wouldn't have to happen if the delivery corporations stop hiring old people and have the government fund his veteran benefits and pension for his service instead!
    1
  2440. Yet she still ain't blue too
    1
  2441. Here's how I would react if a cop catches me jumping the turnstile https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/intermediary/f/4e129679-3d28-46bd-a574-3008cf46e580/dd02vcr-8a98da04-0950-429f-b262-640d956bf2de.png/v1/fill/w_723,h_1106,strp/turnstile_takeoff_by_meiyeezhu_dd02vcr-pre.png
    1
  2442. Two words: Pet hawk!
    1
  2443.  @InaMopar  trust me, it works if you give them the right training
    1
  2444. Anne Boonchuy should try this!
    1
  2445. Finally, a fight between two mama bears in the wild!
    1
  2446. Nice try! We all know this is a ploy to steer cops away from the REAL hijacked ambulance being under the pilot of two bank heist robbers!
    1
  2447. He's really determined to U-Haul his ass!
    1
  2448. If that doesn't scare politicians into passing climate mitigation bills, I don't know what will...
    1
  2449. Next up: A Steak Dinner that Will Increase a Man's Libido!
    1
  2450.  @wackey2k10  Who's gotta stop the women from carrying guns during their jogs? The whole country's brimming with firearms! Can't be that hard to buy and carry a piece in open public these days!
    1
  2451. Making use from the useless?? I’m all in favour!
    1
  2452. I bet Newsmax will say that dog staged his own death for views
    1
  2453. Meh, I rather don on a Hazmat suit, build a flamethrower and go around burning any trace of the virus
    1
  2454.  @mikiscoffield1815  There’s a grown man inside a sofa! Of course they’re gonna notice!
    1
  2455. Last time a bunch of strangers got together in a van, a serial killer was on the loose!
    1
  2456. Next time this happens again, she's calling the bailiff to break all your phones!
    1
  2457. It’s all fun until one taxi shouts “BEEP BEEP MOTHERF**KER!!”
    1
  2458. If flags won’t convince them, then maybe dog poo on the sand would
    1
  2459. Do they accept a nickel or a dime in exchange for words of wisdom?
    1
  2460. Hope they're already tested for swine flu
    1
  2461. I wonder how they'll react if they see a rainbow
    1
  2462. This guy played enough GTA to know what happens when you shoot up a gas station
    1
  2463. I guess God decided to be his judge
    1
  2464. **Discontent intensifies**
    1
  2465. His career made a takeoff, and ended in a take out
    1
  2466. Everyone’s out airing the fugitive’s dirty laundry
    1
  2467. I am NEVER traveling to Europe ever again!
    1
  2468.  @s.m.7635  No, but I’ve seen few too many horror travel stories to convince myself not to venture outside my house anymore!
    1
  2469. Next time, they should order chocolate-topped pizza
    1
  2470. Next investigation, I want to them to watch over TV repairmen/women!
    1
  2471. I think that's worth 1000 social credit points!
    1
  2472. They might had escaped the gators, but can they survive camping in the forest with the pedobears lurking about?
    1
  2473. Have them build gas masks from plastic bottles
    1
  2474. What the hell was he aiming at, birds?!!
    1
  2475.  @Not_eve894  These targets may had been set up above their current elevation
    1
  2476. If he still continues with his foolishness, his next target won’t miss!
    1
  2477. You should’ve asked John Wick to babysit your dog
    1
  2478. You do that in Japan, you'll get a katana stabbed into your stomach
    1
  2479. What if I drew women sunbathing on my sketchbook instead?
    1
  2480. Better lay an EMP spike trap to stop that Tesla!
    1
  2481. Looks like Nancy Pelosi will have to limit her options for her replenished ice cream stash!!
    1
  2482. Of course the fermentation improved under space conditions. It's an anaerobic process, meaning it doesn't require oxygen to operate. In fact, the presence of oxygen probably slightly slowed down the fermentation process.
    1
  2483. How long before the Big Lebowski becomes the next top retro-hit?
    1
  2484. This is it! The final battle! GLORY to the working class!
    1
  2485. Up next, mischievous husbands pull same fashion dress on sisters….and ends HORRIBLY with a cat fight over plagiarism!
    1
  2486. If that was pork and he was Muslim, he would’ve been given bloody sausage fingers
    1
  2487. Her parents must’ve got a LOT busy than she thought
    1
  2488. He should just make like a tree and leave town!
    1
  2489. Run free, bovines! Run free!
    1
  2490. With that kinda attitude, they don’t want you to be physically present there anyway!
    1
  2491.  @cs4155  Still pretty rad though
    1
  2492. Figures that such chain of cheap stores wouldn’t bother paying for fumigation and pest extermination
    1
  2493. They can jumpstart my heart any time of the day...._well, except the grandmother_
    1
  2494. I bet those trains were also fitted with Civil-war era brakes too!
    1
  2495. Bronzeface then?
    1
  2496. Hey, if I can do that in video games, I could do that everywhere!
    1
  2497.  @JohnSmith-bx5fg  You mean like give guns to maniacs like the one right now who attacked the NYC subway? Unless he or she is a well-regulated militia, you can shove that 2nd amendment down your bore hole!
    1
  2498. Finally, no more sexual harassment lawsuit from waitresses!
    1
  2499. Let me know when Costco decides to sell Raritanium, THEN we’ll talk!
    1
  2500. It’s a Mad Max world out there…
    1
  2501.  @lucianoalonso4389  Please do
    1
  2502.  @gojira4036  I mean, they already done that with paintball in Detroit
    1
  2503.  @phyllisarrington7436  They aren’t able-minded either
    1
  2504.  @TaylorKnightCosplay  Power washer guns then
    1
  2505. The worst part about having a mental illness is that society expects you to behave as if you don’t!
    1
  2506. Those must be a new aggressive breed: the mosh pitbull
    1
  2507. What’s next, thongs made from fava beans?!
    1
  2508. Dude, there's LITERALLY human codons found on this virus! Don't tell me that didn't came from a lab!
    1
  2509.  @unsealedhades76  I voted for neither, since I live in Canada!
    1
  2510. No one bothered to check straight from the horse’s mouth to confirm his age?
    1
  2511.  @mr.willywinker4u849  And that's why your last name is Dumb!
    1
  2512.  @mr.willywinker4u849  —with a tiny p3n15
    1
  2513. I think the mini-alarm device will only act as a dinner bell for would-be rapists
    1
  2514. At least provide subsidized housing for the Gazans and give them jobs to work at your fantasy island
    1
  2515. Okay let’s see. I love pranks…I hate climate change activists….now combine them together to make a dickheaded activity!
    1
  2516. They're like the MULES from Death Stranding
    1
  2517. Didn’t the economy collapsed because of this flowery obsession?
    1
  2518. They’re just jealous because they had to stick with the whiny fat kids
    1
  2519. Let’s do the same with American political tour buses!
    1
  2520. GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY!!
    1
  2521. This is why I now hate Christmas.
    1
  2522. So he WASN’T killed by Snape?!
    1
  2523. GOOD! It'll wash away the virus AND the COVIDIOTS on this planet! (Except for THIS guy! He's doing fine!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAnRzeTlMGc
    1
  2524. He did a terrible Hatchett job and should not be out in the open spready his Coodys
    1
  2525. Call her the Law Bringer!
    1
  2526. They got tossed around like plastic dolls trapped in a glass bingo bubble!
    1
  2527. Send him to the pound!
    1
  2528. It's time for this comedian to get super serious! This is NO laughing matter!
    1
  2529. Sure, that’s what the government wants you to think!
    1
  2530. Every dark cloud in their life has a silver lining
    1
  2531. He’s going to make every plane crash video look fake, regardless of its authenticity
    1
  2532. Has he not watched Zoolander?
    1
  2533. Do me a lemon!
    1
  2534. Me too!
    1
  2535. If the clerk had a gun, they would’ve let him go for practicing the 2nd amendment
    1
  2536. Was that vessel made by the same company that had its own floating restaurant sunk (sorry, CAPSIZED) into the ocean?
    1
  2537. Good thing she doesn’t have a large chest or else she would’ve been suffocated by her own breasts!
    1
  2538. Somebody hadn't learned about the Barbara Streisand effect
    1
  2539. Next time you snatch lingerie from her, the owner will steal the underwear off your skin!
    1
  2540. Office Jenny is not amused!
    1
  2541. Call in the Baroness and her monster castle too for good measure
    1
  2542. He’ll get a slap on a wrist—from a makeshift razor-blade whip in prison!
    1
  2543. Death is a common occurrence in this day and age. Why even celebrate it?
    1
  2544. That owner gave the mechanic the same treatment as that stereo! ON BLAST!
    1
  2545. Guess that water wasn't reall after all
    1
  2546. I think the kid’s just p1553d off that he got suspended over a minor accident. Lucky for the teacher though, his ADHD and small frame made him a terrible sharpshooter!
    1
  2547. She should've ordered extra large sausage for her attacker
    1
  2548. Like the destroyed cliff, they let their lives hit rock bottom
    1
  2549. It’s like that Jimmy Neutron episode where Carl and Sheen were stuck upside down on the amusement park ride, all because Jimmy Neutron took Thomas Edison away from his own timeline
    1
  2550. Suddenly, the ocean seems a lot safer right now
    1
  2551. So that’s why my dad sometimes chop off branches and a couple trees in our backyard and front yard!
    1
  2552. Let's see Lindsey Stirling top THAT!
    1
  2553. He’s just taking his first steps in becoming a home renovating entrepreneur!
    1
  2554.  @MypronounIsKing  Unless if it’s your favourite candidate
    1
  2555. It’s more of a Swiffer than a vacuum
    1
  2556. I’m more surprised that the crude pipe gun didn’t explode in his hand after firing two shots! That must be some exquisite weapon engineering for a firearm made from cheap hardware items!
    1
  2557. They should come with lead weights
    1
  2558. @Shannon L Hi Pot! I'm the Kettle!
    1
  2559.  Bob Bobby  You're outta your head!
    1
  2560. Guns should be implemented as a tool to be used as “preventative medicine” for medical employees
    1
  2561. At least animals only do it for survival. Human robbers just do it to satisfy their own greed.
    1
  2562. I dunno, guys. Better strap a muzzle on the Commander, just in case. If he starts peeing on on people’s legs, we’ll have him neutered and be replaced with Colonel.
    1
  2563. Time for this private to head back to boot camp!
    1
  2564. What if you train it as an attack guard, like Peaches from "Far Cry 5"?
    1
  2565. 1:40 Said Bill Clinton's publicist
    1
  2566. This was how Smart Cars became popular
    1
  2567. It’s a giant rat!
    1
  2568. These dudes have such a load full of chips on their shoulder
    1
  2569. Pirates, maybe?
    1
  2570. Ahhhhhh, finally back to normal
    1
  2571. If she doesn’t give up social media, she’s gonna end up becoming a lampshade
    1
  2572. I wonder if they’ll continue posing with their mummified corpses after so many five-year intervals
    1
  2573. Sweet soup for the soul!!
    1
  2574. If this was a black poor woman who stole a chicken, she would’ve be given 15 to life
    1
  2575. Dog: Don’t mind me, Human! Just hangin’ around!
    1
  2576. They dropped the fine https://thepointsguy.com/news/500-fine-dropped-for-woman-who-brought-apple-through-customs/
    1
  2577. Talk about your marriage being on the rocks!
    1
  2578. Great grief….
    1
  2579. I wished the Santa would offer his reindeer, so they can sick on the shooter
    1
  2580. How in the hell is the zoomer generation gonna survive coronavirus if they keep pulling st&pid stunts like that??!!
    1
  2581.  @ChickenDijonPizza  I'm kinda a late zoomer too, you know (I'm around my mid-20s)
    1
  2582. It’s Sadie from RDR2!
    1
  2583. Why do mysterious artists love to implant conspicuous columns in the middle of nowhere?!
    1
  2584. Now let's try landing a golf ball into a flying jet fighter!
    1
  2585. All that’s missing is for him to be stuck in an Old western town re-enactment set at the year 1864!
    1
  2586. If she waited for a little longer, she would’ve drove her mother back home, considering the state of her mind
    1
  2587. With the crazy mental climate these days, America’s gonna descend down into the Dark Ages within a couple decades
    1
  2588. I think those anti-maskers should just be lined up against the wall and shot
    1
  2589. Not like it’s his first time taking the fall
    1
  2590. Let me highlight this video with this one music video https://youtu.be/t3jKtjgRZQY?t=23
    1
  2591. She's going to get spanked tonight for ruining their trip
    1
  2592. Is this how today’s kids try to pick up chicks on the playground these days?
    1
  2593. Yeah, he’s getting dumped within a few months or years…
    1
  2594. Can they also pull out their machine guns against anti-maskers?
    1
  2595. Be wary to one another
    1
  2596. NOT AGAIN!!!
    1
  2597. I wonder if they'll end up sharing the same wife
    1
  2598. Karma’s a b1tch!
    1
  2599. We need to put more bouncers inside planes
    1
  2600. Now if only we can train them to hold in their fart until we reach the biogas station
    1
  2601. Thanks a lot, Donald
    1
  2602. Look at that corona----!! the STELLAR corona!
    1
  2603. LEAVE JAMIE ALONE!!!
    1
  2604. Nine years, huh? FINE, we'll execute 9 Reds each day in Ukraine in return unless they overturn her sentence! Happy hunting, tovaryshi!
    1
  2605. Hey, so long as they don’t serve soup, give extra rations to those on sick leave and provide child daycare, I’m in!
    1
  2606. She just HAD to say "toilet paper"!
    1
  2607. Guess COVID in Vegas is the only thing that DOESN’T stay in Vegas!
    1
  2608. Funny, articulate, intelligent, a kind smile---just like the Joker!
    1
  2609. The referee should give a red card to the dust devil
    1
  2610. Up next: How to Properly replace your dead son’s pumpkin head without causing him to fall apart
    1
  2611.  @vehielphantom4116  Don't act like you haven't thought about it!
    1
  2612.  @adambane1719  I like to see YOU react in a home invasion like this in the middle of the night!
    1
  2613. Everyone's gangsta until Watchdogs hack DigiDogs and turn them against the police!
    1
  2614. Let’s hope automation would discourage flash mob robberies of these revived restaurants
    1
  2615. With a huge asset like that, it’s no wonder her full body image had to take a backseat in public display
    1
  2616. I don't care that she doesn't care about her not caring about her lacking care for her! Can't we all just agree that Biden's an old fart who can't keep his head straight under pressure??
    1
  2617. You know, the noxious concoction he made matches with the chemist’s toxic personality!
    1
  2618. Somebody called the Tiger Kin—-oh wait…
    1
  2619.  @shesaurora9482  And you probably also don't know what it's like being a low-wage dishwasher
    1
  2620. She's been playing TOO MUCH Assassin's Creed!
    1
  2621. They probably thought this was a successor of the fake monolith memes
    1
  2622. Consider this payment for his unexpected lawn service
    1
  2623. I agree with this policy. Once the interaction surpasses that limit, someone’s gonna get too touchy feely when their hands reaches for something lower
    1
  2624. Nebraska needs to build a wall around its borders and every anti-vaxxer will be paying for it
    1
  2625. What a delta farce!
    1
  2626. Little did she know that card probably already expired months ago
    1
  2627. A heroin crack addict's coat look better than this!
    1
  2628. The upcoming prequel to Metro 2033 looks awesome already!
    1
  2629. Say hello to Shaky and Scratchy!
    1
  2630. It's only a manner of time before Mario flushes his brother out to freedom!
    1
  2631. How about a shooting range? With air guns, of course
    1
  2632. She should’ve robbed the shoplifters back afterwards
    1
  2633.  @marceeaax  Guess she's more of a sugar daddy kinda gal
    1
  2634. Unlike the show, he won’t come back from the dead to enact vengeance on whoever left his corpse by that scene
    1
  2635. Send in the freedom hawks!
    1
  2636. Tesla’s board of engineering directors must be conjuring up new car models with built-in anti-theft shock doors right about now
    1
  2637. You know what? Even after I become fully vaccinated, I think I'll continue to quarantine myself for another full year again...
    1
  2638. Euthanize and incinerate the dog! Leave no carrier unharmed!
    1
  2639. And then another medical equipment company sues that teen for patent infringement!
    1
  2640. She should've mind her own Schabusiness!
    1
  2641. I KNEW IT!!
    1
  2642. If you forgive a fox for killing your chickens, they will go after your sheep -Georgian proverb
    1
  2643. I really wished Trump's family 51/50 Donald before he became president
    1
  2644.  10 LMS  For the record, I have been critical of both Trump AND the opposition that tried to use political platitudes and faux-populism in an effort to uphold the establishment and not really fight back Trump in an epic way For instance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feGIT-15cZI
    1
  2645. In Canada, inmates will beat up any robber who takes purses from old people
    1
  2646. Burn all the bras and panties too!
    1
  2647. She may be a crazy ex, but she’s not THAT crazy
    1
  2648. Let’s leave that 16 year old out in the cold overnight! See how s/he likes it!
    1
  2649. No more baby shark for her
    1
  2650. Don Lemon was squeezed dry until he couldn’t produce anything juicy
    1
  2651. You know who ALSO use dating apps to lure victims? Serial killers, and it's only a matter of time before Foster hooks up with a date with the devil!
    1
  2652. Take that, Pi Patel!
    1
  2653. This is one horror show I would rather not attend!
    1
  2654. Next time, ditch the shirt and cover yourself in mud
    1
  2655.  @billyyank5807  More fans on steep seats also means greater quantity of lawsuits related to injuries
    1
  2656. Reminds me of that scene from “All Quiet in the Western Front”, where a dead soldier is found hanging over a high tree branch after being blown apart by a Minenwerfer (high explosive mortar)
    1
  2657. Meh, he survived worse….
    1
  2658. And then the owner broke into his house and stuffed his mouth with candy until he couldn’t breathe
    1
  2659. Dammit, Gwendoline!!
    1
  2660. Okay, boomers...
    1
  2661. She just needs a little lift up in her spirits
    1
  2662. Up in the Air in a nutshell
    1
  2663. That was for eating his family, you murderers!
    1
  2664. Damit! Now where the hell is Spot gonna do his business?! Up a damn tree?! It’s already occupied by treehouse property!
    1
  2665. You know, I heard pirates of the old days used to be strung up on the derrick as a warning to would-be cargo thieves… Wouldn’t mind this making a comeback if this continues to persist…
    1
  2666.  @tetrabromobisphenol  It’s not like she’s exposed for minutes or hours on end! It’s only been a few microseconds of flash! She won’t get radiation poisoning this way!
    1
  2667.  @raewsyadrs4645  Because they don’t know how electricity works
    1
  2668. That’s one way of stopping yourself from getting cucked!
    1
  2669. Uvalde: Join the club
    1
  2670. I hate my own brother too, but I don’t think this is worth driving 1120 km with a pistol and shotgun
    1
  2671. If she flush her mother’s ashes, threaten her with a swirlie of death, so she could join her mother in the great beyond!
    1
  2672. That mishap costed the cop her firearm and a leg
    1
  2673. Idiots! That was his only accessory to get the ladies’ attention!
    1
  2674. Lock up the potential mass shooters! All of them!
    1
  2675. What better way to deal with cancer than to engage in behaviour that will kill you faster!?
    1
  2676. Can the teach me how to operate a zamburak?
    1
  2677. @mjrichardss ​ @Natasha Collin ​ @ACG 97 I meant REAL-LIFE criminals from the underground, not those damn government thugs
    1
  2678. Bennet already served his time. That flirtatious womanizer was probably a dick when he tried to court his wife.
    1
  2679. They can easily go from relaxing at a fireplace to being caught in the fougasse firing line!
    1
  2680. Maybe this time use a fake gun and just use CGI and recorded sound effects to simulate gunfire!
    1
  2681. Come rain or shine, this weatherman will throw caution to the hurricane for someone else’s life
    1
  2682. And thus a new line of black market placebos has been spawned once again!
    1
  2683. Yet another reason to add to my list called "Why I Hate Beaches"!
    1
  2684. Did they have a name for this deer?
    1
  2685. I guess this turkey ain’t gettin’ his pardon today
    1
  2686.  @Giveme100ksubs  Go back to thinking school!
    1
  2687. And not a single parachute was ever used!
    1
  2688. She must’ve got a blowout by blowing the Zohan!
    1
  2689. It’s the other way around
    1
  2690. I'm glad they made a product like this; do you know how expensive these textbooks can be??
    1
  2691. You can’t fight change, and you certainly can’t fight gravity…
    1
  2692.  @plowe6751  in the winter? Preposterous! (Some cities actually use a mix of beet sugar and brine for added effectiveness in de-icing)
    1
  2693. You should’ve dressed up like one of the Bimbettes
    1
  2694. Is it time to talk about climate change yet?
    1
  2695.  @Schnitzeldawg  Keep telling yourself that when your house gets blown apart or flooded by rampaging waters!
    1
  2696. It's a small world after all
    1
  2697. She's going to run prank Youtubers out of business!
    1
  2698. Raccoons could probably run this place better, like the ones from Rarity’s fashion boutique!
    1
  2699. If I wanted to have my proposal ruined before it started, I go to Dismaland!
    1
  2700. Just bring your own sauce from home if you wanna be that frugal! Unless it’s Szechuan sauce, then that’s understandable…
    1
  2701. Of course no charges were filed at the masked vigilantes! They'll kick their a$$es again even harder if they do!
    1
  2702. Next birthday prank, they're gonna post a billboard for all the people to bake him a cake in exchange for money!
    1
  2703. We really need to stop letting kids play GTA V!
    1
  2704. This is why we have Grand Theft Auto, n!ggah!!
    1
  2705. This is like handing over a gun to a person who is suicidal and telling them “Okay, whatever you do, DON’T load it with bullets and shoot yourself with it!”
    1
  2706. I’m not so concerned of the kids getting ran over by trains than the train hobos who might want to have their way with them
    1
  2707. Do I get a bigger mega-size portion if I use a gun?
    1
  2708. No more jokes, please
    1
  2709. Bazinga!
    1
  2710. I guess these chickens were scared stiff!
    1
  2711. Just one volcanic eruptions closer to a Frostpunk apocalypse
    1
  2712. This is why companies should have daycares (with mandatory masks and social distancing involved, of course)
    1
  2713. There should be a Netflix movie about this!
    1
  2714. The owner was helping the suspect—-into his jail cell, right after he was going to restrain him!
    1
  2715. Those must be part of the cetacean cult that’s trying to make travel too expensive for everyone, so they can hold their secret meetings! They’re not even safe and hidden around the ice!
    1
  2716. Why not use therapy llamas?? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7qMgmyww3U
    1
  2717. When you get tired of whippersnappers taunting you as they skateboard near your driveway
    1
  2718. You should’ve set the standard to 1 BILLION views!
    1
  2719. No bones were broken during the recording to this video, thankfully
    1
  2720. I like to take a ride in that rollover simulator! Looks like fun (as long as the seatbelt works)
    1
  2721. I just hope she doesn’t resort to feeling the authorities
    1
  2722. He didn’t predict he would run into a hailstorm or fury that day!
    1
  2723. Hmmmm styrofoam
    1
  2724. This is why I give dogs a pretty wide berth
    1
  2725. One of these days, that hoarder's gonna end up like the Collyer Brothers! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81jV9D8FiFA
    1
  2726. I hope the prisoners will cure his addiction with a little DIY orchidectomy
    1
  2727. Robots, AI, and the fact that it came from a company call DICTADOR should spell the doom for our entire species! I wouldn’t be surprised if she was given her own witty servant android to yell at whenever something goes terribly wrong!
    1
  2728. More like Wheel of Misfortune!
    1
  2729. Now THAT's what I call a lucky pot turtle!
    1
  2730. He needs to have his own firefighter calendar
    1
  2731. I wonder if I can use this method to teach kids how to parachute! (Proceeds to push babies with parasols off an airplane) P.S. IT'S A JOKE!!
    1
  2732. Killdozer was so 2000
    1
  2733. Guess God decided to pick her side
    1
  2734. The next time she tries to wipe the graffiti off her business infrastructure, she may not be present for her next interview nor business anymore
    1
  2735. It's Mad Vlad vs Solo Volo! The ultimate showdown!
    1
  2736. I wonder if she's going to give him a gender reveal lottery ticket as well; at least that would be much safer and less explosive
    1
  2737. Sometimes, I wish to imprison these kids inside an abandoned tower, just so I could crash a plane into their confinement space
    1
  2738.  @danbrownellfuzzy3010  I don’t want to risk blowing up the other houses!
    1
  2739. You know what else should call for a celebration? An elementary school graduation ceremony that these dead kids will never have!
    1
  2740. She missed the forest for the trees
    1
  2741. This couple literally went overboard with their mates below deck
    1
  2742. Sure, he may had ended the war on Afghanistan, but what about the war in Somalia??
    1
  2743. Now Box Ghost has a demon waifu?!! Who would wanna marry a nerdy square like that?!
    1
  2744. Nice try! Everybody already knows you were giving him head during his presentation and didn’t want to embarrass yourself with a white stain on your mouth!
    1
  2745. Now if only we can placate the bacteria union craftworkers!
    1
  2746. Do we have to firebomb this whole country just to knock some sense into them?!
    1
  2747. Let’s see her flirt her way out of a DUI after running over and possibly killing someone while drunk
    1
  2748. A model major general, she is not!
    1
  2749. Next I suppose she got sent to the grand line that separates the public from the pool for that one piece!
    1
  2750. This is revenge for all the bicyclists who got deliberately and accidentally killed by motorists
    1
  2751.  @omnium_gatherum  I dunno. I’m definitely seeing a societal pattern here
    1
  2752.  @Stumme-40203  KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT!
    1
  2753.  @masterbaiter7537  I’m just stating the reality of the American institutions’ attitudes towards American society! This has nothing to do with personal racial bias!
    1
  2754. With all those e-vehicles and e-transports going around, they’re going to have a major e-mergency
    1
  2755. We bronies had already been coping with ponies for over 10 years
    1
  2756. 0:56 You're NOT supposed to show the face of a juvenile witness online (nor on TV)!!
    1
  2757. Too bad my dad retired from roofing
    1
  2758. @@thatv8life186 No, I’m more of a desk job kind of person
    1
  2759.  @sherrycampbell1846  Your loss, not ours!
    1
  2760. She probably had a heart attack from all that centenarian excitement! She should've laid off the vodka years ago!
    1
  2761. First meecrowuvay, now Sal!
    1
  2762. I used to have a Trump supporter as an online friend who I met on Deviantart. Even though we had our political differences (right-wing conservative vs left-wing progressive), we still remained friends for a couple of years. I haven't seen him for a long time ever since our favorite show "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" ended its final 9th season.
    1
  2763. So who cares if you were stuck with a Sugar Plump Fairy? It's not like she could break the floor boards of the stage with her added weight!
    1
  2764. This only applies to shipwreck disasters
    1
  2765.  @sandrineolhagaray882  Comme cette histoire de tueur en série sur Meatman (alias Peter Pan) ?
    1
  2766. Guess what!!? We don’t live in a make-sense world anymore!
    1
  2767. I think she tickled and swallowed way too many pickles in her mouth And I’m not talking about the street food
    1
  2768. I heard of an old similar story of an old lady being late for her appointment, only this time, the old lady was in her car and she drove very fast along the lane, because she realized she went in the wrong direction, so she tried to drive back to the original route as fast as she could before she missed her hair appointment. The cop cited her with a ticket for speeding, arrested her, took her mugshot and held her in a cell for a couple of days before release her.
    1
  2769. He's like the Golden Glider from that superhero game franchise with the deranged Superman!
    1
  2770. Let's see how the kid likes it when we tie a leash to his leg, connect the leash to a car and drive the car off at high speed!
    1
  2771. First a back-up from a bear, and now a mountain lion! All that's left is a tiger!
    1
  2772. Yawn, let me know when they send a whale into space!
    1
  2773. Pout all you want! You’re NOT taking a turn on my lounge chair!
    1
  2774. This only works in the movies, dude
    1
  2775. I think I might had seen something similar on "Happytime Murders"
    1
  2776. I'm calling it! Black Tusk has Donald Trump under their thumb!
    1
  2777. I'm bringing in justice AND the pizza in 30 minutes, OR it's FREE!!!!
    1
  2778. Hi, I’m Connor. And I had been sent over here by CyberLife
    1
  2779. 99% of those comments will be about "1960s: In the future, we'll have flying cars!" jokes
    1
  2780. Kangaroo: That was for the face blow from years ago, you drongo!
    1
  2781. They should've hired the Italian mayors
    1
  2782. And you thought gangster thugs were only the ones into the musical mischief
    1
  2783. Didn’t a German tourist died during a botched carjacking ploy like this and left behind a grieving widow?
    1
  2784. Why can't his employer just give him the promotion or at least a bonus for his amazing work ethic?? WHY do WE have to pay for his excellency?
    1
  2785. He must drink tons of water.
    1
  2786. Now put them in a rocket ship and send them flying over the moon!
    1
  2787. First it was chickens. Then after that, they'll be raising cattle, sheep and llamas.
    1
  2788. Rittenhouse left his home and was asking for a fight when he walked up to the protesters, hoping to use that gun on someone. If Rittenhouse wanted to defend himself from rioters, he should’ve just stayed back home until the tensions gone down. He should’ve never been acquitted and be at least be charged with negligent homicide. In this case though, it was Read, who was the aggressor, who came to his house first and was the first to instigate the attack by attempting to grab Caruth’s rifle, even if Caruth fired a warning shot on the ground. In this case, this was justified self-defence, plus he has the castle doctrine defence on his side.
    1
  2789. That certainly is a fate way worse than death
    1
  2790. Can’t say the same for those squatters though
    1
  2791. Still upset that there is no “X” masked hoodlum in the protest
    1
  2792. You could also used your police car as a Jersey barrier or use spike strips/carpet
    1
  2793. Is he trying to do an impression of Darrell E. Brooks Jr.?
    1
  2794. We’re going to need a lotta dynamite…
    1
  2795. On the bright side, she can expand her model marketing consumer fanbase of acrotomophiles!
    1
  2796. So when a Nala does it, it's adorable! But when I do it, it's sexual assault??!!
    1
  2797. Can’t stop his man’s career if it already hit a dead-end upon arrival!
    1
  2798. It’s not technically cheating if your liaison partner looks like your spouse, right?
    1
  2799. And then he forgot their anniversary!
    1
  2800. The reason why the shark went after him is because the outline of his surfboard and his swimming wake made him look like a potential big fish to munch on
    1
  2801. Here’s a spoiler alert for you, Cece! If someone says they gonna do something bad, they’re GONNA DO IT! Call the US embassy or the Capitol as soon as you figure something’s wrong!
    1
  2802. First Epstein, NOW McAfee??!! SUSPICIOUS
    1
  2803. I’m more concerned about the new Keeper suddenly rising from that front step and start attacking everyone with his meat hammer and meat sack
    1
  2804. And that’s why we use a neck massager
    1
  2805. How about you spend that money on feeding the poorest people in the slums instead of spending money on building giant statues to fill in your tourist business pocket books?!! We don't need another erected beacon-bleeping obstacle for airplanes to look out for!!
    1
  2806. Well, time to fetch my Agent Orange from the basement!
    1
  2807. That's just below the par, man!
    1
  2808. Welcome to civil asset forfeiture!
    1
  2809. So when Zeppole does it, it’s adorable! But if I do it while in the nude, it’s harassment!!??
    1
  2810. Now imagine if it was a harmonica that his mother shoved down his throat! The results would’ve been too hilarious for the doctors to maintain their professional conduct
    1
  2811.  @roddrickd.haynes2801  For those still using Celsius, it's 3.33*C in Texas and 28.3*C in Cancun
    1
  2812. You try to do that in Britian, you'll have your ass handed over and beaten up by the queen!
    1
  2813. What kind of person doesn't like short shorts?! Everybody likes short shorts!!
    1
  2814. They’re going to get neuralyzed
    1
  2815. We had it with those drive-by shootings! We don’t need to include drive-thru shootings in our list of worries!
    1
  2816. Time to send those teens to the OTHER big house!
    1
  2817. Let’s see how he faces off mob justice!
    1
  2818.  @alanw2687  It’s funny until it suddenly happens to you
    1
  2819. Who's towing who?
    1
  2820. Though I don't support planting evidence to make the elderly man look more guilty, I do believe that force was justified. I mean, if this old dude (who may not have many years to live for) decided to punch a random woman over a noise complaint, what ELSE is he capable of?!
    1
  2821. She’s American
    1
  2822. So licking windows is okay, but drag story time is out of the question?
    1
  2823. Why does this feel like this was Joker-inspired?
    1
  2824. Just like with fugu, there should be a licensing of approved chefs who specialize in handling morel mushrooms
    1
  2825. Next time, just stick to gyms and tennis courtyards
    1
  2826. I'll be impressed if that granny then survives the Dollar flu
    1
  2827. (Un)fun fact: In medieval England, bear-baiting was a favourite past-time event, in which dogs and bears would combat each other in the blood battle to the death
    1
  2828. What is this, Baby's Day Out?!
    1
  2829. I would demand an official police report and signed statement to confirm those details before I pay up
    1
  2830. If she was playing Last of Us, she would've carried a switchblade knife on her person
    1
  2831. How much toil does this world have to take?!
    1
  2832. This was the peak moment of his embarrassing stunt career
    1
  2833. If the suspect was black, the police would’ve just shoot the vehicle to get this chase over with already
    1
  2834. Purge the red capitalists!
    1
  2835. Ask and ye shall receive
    1
  2836. Next time, use cat food as a lure
    1
  2837. Did they at least upgrade their brake systems past the Civil-War era?
    1
  2838. Now he can ask Bob Saget on what was the punchline behind his sick joke
    1
  2839. You can keep him! Stay the f&&k outta Canada!
    1
  2840. How would you like it when a seal decides to take a dive into your baby’s kiddie pool, huh? You would’ve bite the seal in the nose if they did the same to you!
    1
  2841. That’s not a tree trimmer! It’s a freaking ge spear!
    1
  2842. That photo looks like a cartoon hotheaded guy shaking his wife's head during a domestic dispute
    1
  2843. On the bright side, they can still sell it to quartz processing plants, in which they can purify and sell to microchip plants to make circuits for quartz watch manufacturers
    1
  2844. I bet that mother’s face is actually wearing a fake mask!
    1
  2845. I think it’s a sign that she secretly has a crush on that neighbour
    1
  2846. Should've avoided drinking all that water from the Great Lakes, huh?!
    1
  2847. Next time, I want to see her do dishes in the shower
    1
  2848. I bet Trump’s panicking like Will Ferrell in “Get Hard”
    1
  2849. It’s deal or no deal, Alex! Pay or get slayed!
    1
  2850. I hope he got a refund on that tour
    1
  2851. The “S” stands for “Sissy”
    1
  2852.  @knowledge4741  Until you get banged up abroad
    1
  2853.  @knowledge4741  You some kinda ex-merc or spec-ops?
    1
  2854. I think Yu was tired of her husband getting under her skin
    1
  2855. What about the meerkats and the warthogs though? Where’s their 15 seconds of fame?
    1
  2856. At least keep it behind the cashier counter and out of plain view, much like cigarettes and alcohol at a convenience store
    1
  2857. All that’s missing is a dragon slaying!
    1
  2858. I heard the driver wasn't wearing any pants when he got arrested
    1
  2859. This is the closest thing they can get to a Y2K
    1
  2860. It's a nice way to tell your disgruntled ex that you're full of s**t!
    1
  2861. If they’re locking up one of us, then we need to lock up one of them! Find any possible Russian spy and hold them indefinitely throughout this onslaught!
    1
  2862. It’s like a party of zoonotic seaborne parasites inside your stomach!
    1
  2863. More like Ruffle House!
    1
  2864. Talk about almost being at death’s door!
    1
  2865. Trumps(probably): Now WHY hadn’t we thought of that?!
    1
  2866. I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back...
    1
  2867. That’s for ruining their home with climate change!
    1
  2868.  @stephencarter8509  He literally said “God was with them”, which sounded like he was not crediting the air control traffickers for helping the passenger fly the plane
    1
  2869. I read about a patient named S.M. (aka the woman with no fear) who suffered a rare brain disease that destroyed her amygdala, thus causing her to literally show no negative emotion, even in the most intense life-threatening situations (except during an experiment where she was subjected to CO2 inhalation to simulate being choked, where she exhibited greater fear response than the control subjects) I suspect these chill dudes must had frozen and shattered that same brain region associated with fear at some point
    1
  2870.  @alienandroid2012  I'm a Progressive myself!
    1
  2871. Not even her spaghetti???!!
    1
  2872. Let’s see them try to chokehold a 50¢ employee!
    1
  2873. My guess is that the dog was at his mating period and his testosterone levels were up to 11 at that time
    1
  2874. New York has the same problem, but with a more different breed of hairy trash scavengers
    1
  2875. You’re telling me a deer had the intelligence to read the words “hospital” and “emergency room” and know where to seek help, yet it doesn’t have the common sense capacity to avoid getting hit by a car?!!
    1
  2876. The pressure really had gotten to their heads
    1
  2877. Stupid weeaboos had to RUIN everything!
    1
  2878. 😡You’re not supposed to smile in court! If you smile in court, that’s a violation!
    1
  2879. Now that bank would like that family to pay back the $2 million in today’s currency
    1
  2880. Tip: Hire a couple male strippers to occupy your house to act as personal guards
    1
  2881. Is her home located in Australia?!
    1
  2882. That won't stop movie pirates from uploading copies of the movie with Japanese subtitles on streaming websites
    1
  2883.  @K3r0411  Norway and Denmark
    1
  2884. She's ready to attack Tyson Farms!
    1
  2885. Maybe this is one of Gwendoline’s children!
    1
  2886. All that needs now is for him to do the moonwalk
    1
  2887. Great, not only did they tried to cheat in the competition, they also gave that fish lead poisoning, therefore making them unfit for consumption!
    1
  2888. If they don’t get help now, they’re going to start roasting the dead over their sad fireplace
    1
  2889. Well, she always try her career as a sexy nurse on Onlyfans!
    1
  2890. Finally, a legitimate way to identify wines without tasting them!
    1
  2891. Talk about a near selfie-destruction!
    1
  2892. Is some supervillain hiring thugs to steal cables to charge up a basement super weapon?!
    1
  2893. They see him rolling, they hating!
    1
  2894. 15 hours??!! There's barely even enough time to eat and sleep, let alone clock in work!!
    1
  2895. I like somebody to livestream their own suicide by stabbing themselves at these exact same points to prove us wrong!
    1
  2896. They should start developing apps to highlight popular locations for body dumping
    1
  2897. I like to see them try to steal a pet tortoise from Rainbow Dash! See how that ends!
    1
  2898. Call her the CROSSING GUARDIAN!
    1
  2899. With a special deep voice talent like that, she’s gonna be pretty popular among the ladies in the pen!
    1
  2900. Those Reds stole more than bread from their mouths….
    1
  2901. If they had stayed in school longer, they might had learned how to install torpedos!
    1
  2902. Talk about a fire shitstorm!
    1
  2903. War criminals today get even shorter sentences for much worse atrocities
    1
  2904. This is just foreshadowing of an upcoming bear market if John Cox gets elected!
    1
  2905. The reason why the U.S. has not been able to vaccinate their population is due to a lack of nationalized single-payer healthcare
    1
  2906. In Japan, they'll admonish you if you gave them a huge tip after a delivery
    1
  2907. Too bad the app can’t help me find my soul
    1
  2908. I think she might had knocked the ring in to the sink drainage, which then made its way through the sewers to the Eastern Coast, before drifting away across the North Atlantic ocean to Finland. Then it got eaten up by a seagull, before it got pooped out in the middle of the forest.
    1
  2909. Just buy some raw cookie dough and bake 5 of them in your oven at less the price for one cookie of the same size!
    1
  2910. Now do a giant puppet version
    1
  2911. I wish someone firebombed that wedding
    1
  2912. Can we do re-enactments of Luigi Mangione’s trial next?
    1
  2913. And so the adventure continues...
    1
  2914. Yeah, she’s getting her head smacked by a weight lift
    1
  2915. I bet Murdaugh planned that bomb threat too
    1
  2916. They used to be amusement rides back then, but now they're not!
    1
  2917. This is how they led us into the Iraq War! I’m not falling for that story again!
    1
  2918. I saw an old commercial of a mom buying a new teddy bear, but realizing that her daughter would rather hold onto an old memento, she purposely wrecked the teddy bear by using it as a car sponge, running it over with her car and ripping one of its eye buttons before giving the wrecked bear to her daughter
    1
  2919.  @melissagrant4178  Don’t worry, the daughter didn’t suspect a thing
    1
  2920. Two words: Amphibious cars
    1
  2921. She’ll make a great Sol sister for Luna!
    1
  2922. They also prayed for the volcano goddess Pele for their protection as well!
    1
  2923.  @countryball-enjoyer  Okay, maybe not protection, but at least a plea of mercy to spare them from harm
    1
  2924. Maybe if we set them close to the fireplace for many hours, they can tell us where the Grinch is hiding!
    1
  2925. You’re supposed to fight each other, not shoot each other’s kids. It’s the traditional common law under the “My Dad can Beat Your Dad” challenge custom.
    1
  2926. 1:12 That's anti-Semitic!
    1
  2927. Still better than Yvonne the Youkon's slingshot
    1
  2928. _Coincidence_?!! I think not!!
    1
  2929. I’ll do it for free if it means shooting him/ear dead
    1
  2930. They’re dessssspicable!
    1
  2931. It's the CIIIRRCCLLEEE OF LIFE!!!
    1
  2932. They see me rowing, they hating…
    1
  2933. You stole our Merch, so we stole your time!
    1
  2934. NYU is mirroring what Israel is doing to isolate the Palestinian Gazans, thereby implicitly supporting their apartheid
    1
  2935. This kinda reminds me of a "This Hour Has 28 Minutes" sketch about a conservative relationship quiz https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lutAagEP510
    1
  2936. Good, that’ll keep the demons from spreading all the bad luck around the world
    1
  2937. But no mozerella??
    1
  2938. He ended become an ass in the hole!
    1
  2939. There was another case of mistaken misunderstanding when a man heard rough sex noises and thought there was a sexual assault going on. Instead of calling 911 though, he just barged in through the door where the source of the sound was at. Turns out his neighbour was watching porn on speakers. However, the "rescuer" refused to leave his neighbour's apartment room until he can prove that he was watching porn. After the "rescuer" was shown the evidence, he left the room and went on his business.
    1
  2940. Rioters faction from Tom Clancy's Division is rising...
    1
  2941. Okay, which one of you idiot employees decided to give that guy the Nasty Patty because he looked like the fraudulent impostor posing as the health inspector?!
    1
  2942. I can imagine how the ending of Blockbuster would look like in the near future https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOHaT9KxR-k
    1
  2943. I’m calling it! This family got replaced by doppelgängers and the real family was hidden somewhere down the sewers!
    1
  2944. Check the lion sanctuaries! Dentists always seem to love shooting lions after baiting them out of their habitat!
    1
  2945. Guess they didn’t’t want to deal with the dirty laundrie
    1
  2946. So when’s Russia going to tell the world that baby was taken from a celebrity mansion to pose for the news photo shot?
    1
  2947. Can it fly though?
    1
  2948. Ahh, so he got the Michael Jackson treatment!
    1
  2949. You know what? I don’t think she’s going far enough! Not ONLY should there be a holiday dedicated to Sugar Daddies (and Mommies), there should also be a nudist sex theme park dedicated to providing living income all the hard-working college girls and boys during summer time!
    1
  2950. She’s gonna be popular among the dudes who lift at the gym
    1
  2951. If they dare sentence her to 10 years for cannabis, we will overturn any future acquittals of Russian soldiers and have them executed for war crimes against the Ukrainians!
    1
  2952. "And here we have Dolly the baby that looks like a dolly! The baby that looks like a dolly!" "Does it look like a baby?" "No, it looks like a dolly" " Is it a dolly?? " " NO, it's a baby that LOOKS like a dolly!! "
    1
  2953. Dr, Bees may be gone, but his inspirational influence still lingers
    1
  2954. Things had just gotten nuclear!!
    1
  2955. Soon enough, we’ll have Lolita dwarves competing in the beauty pageants too!
    1
  2956. This is why the lab TA people at my university highly recommends you do your potentially flammable experiments in a FUMEHOOD!
    1
  2957. Fake! That bear's a paid actor!!
    1
  2958. He almost became another teen in another world with his smartphone!
    1
  2959. Wow! You exist!
    1
  2960. California Plague     It's unavoidable    Crazy kooks    Packed up to the top    Infectious lungs    So wrought    They'll feel like sun-dried gills    Ooh oh ooh    Ooh oh ooh
    1
  2961. He’s outta his tree!
    1
  2962. First time I'm actually proud of a disgusting creature being awarded for their actions
    1
  2963. When a thief steals from another thief, God laughs in heaven -Armenian Proverb
    1
  2964. Pathetic! I wannna 36-wheeler!
    1
  2965. That'll deter people like Ethan Couch from using their affluenza excuse!
    1
  2966. Thank goodness the car wasn’t turned into a technical by the Zhopas
    1
  2967. What's next, the first Iowan woman to be accepted into the private arms development corporation?
    1
  2968. He might as well also wear a sandwich board that says: "I am going to murder you right now on camera"
    1
  2969. Next up, how dirty is your master bedroom after married sex!
    1
  2970. I bet Youtube would shut this down as soon as they see the owls hatching. They did stopped a livestream when they saw a giraffe giving birth!
    1
  2971. There is a silver lining...
    1
  2972. Reminds me of a scary story to tell in the dark https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PL0lJazlZaM
    1
  2973. Now he can do all the thunder claps he wants to without blowing out his hearing aids!
    1
  2974.  @pa-dee8394  Until everyone moves the party to the hospital's respirator room!
    1
  2975. Maybe if the skydivers follow these five simple steps, they would’ve most likely survived Squat Pray Leap Ahhh Touchdown
    1
  2976. He’s becoming like a real-life Turkmenbashi president
    1
  2977. He does look a little too handsy for the job, if you ask me
    1
  2978. How do they go online? Easy. With a margin alignment adjuster!
    1
  2979. Just tell him to have his mom buy blinking lights for his bike next time! Then he would avoid bumping into more people!
    1
  2980. You’re all going to hell for what you had done to our planet!
    1
  2981. Wasn’t there a Black Mirror episode like this?
    1
  2982. It’s a motorcycle, not a Bird E-scooter
    1
  2983. He could make a good crime scene detective and make one of this murder dioramas
    1
  2984.  @Chanelxoxoxo  https://youtu.be/QmrqX9t2C8o?t=3
    1
  2985. (“Marie Douceur, Marie Colère” plays in my head)
    1
  2986. I hate this planet sometimes!
    1
  2987. Quick everyone! Activate your Care Bear stares!
    1
  2988. Me: I wanna Tesla Cybertruck! Mom: But we have one at home Tesla Cybertruck at home: Me: YEAH, you're right! It's WAY better! Why spend tens of thousands of dollars on a vehicle that still relies on a polluting power-station to charge your vehicle!?
    1
  2989. This is front-pager news!
    1
  2990. I buy that for a dollar
    1
  2991. I don’t care if he’s a douche. Making light of any attempted assassination of a president, regardless of political leanings, is distasteful.
    1
  2992. Next I suppose you’ll tell me she’ll later grow a moustache!
    1
  2993. That's probably the second biggest snake these mothers had even seen!
    1
  2994. Last time an employee killed a customer with one punch, it was at a Dunkin Donuts and it was because the old man insulted the employee with a racial slur
    1
  2995. They should make a music video about this!
    1
  2996.  @wrathc53  Don’t the workers also have to make the refreshers, and therefore take the brunt of their discontent?
    1
  2997. Now SHE’S going into a mental health crisis and will be needing therapy after this!
    1
  2998. You can also use a treadmill
    1
  2999. That's what the government WANTS you to think!
    1
  3000. She doesn’t want to be the next Gabby Petito
    1
  3001. So when’s Mike Pillow gonna sponsor this guy and somehow hire him to uncover fake ballots in the 2020 election?
    1
  3002. Most sharks will only bite once as a test bite to see if the prey is edible or not; most of the time, they only attack if they sense something fish-like in body form
    1
  3003. Ironically, they all must had already tweeted about this and led to a trending hashtag advocating for a boycott of Twitter
    1
  3004. They went from I Am Legend to I Am Stupid
    1
  3005. Who will they hire next, a fox?
    1
  3006. What next, a woman gets free healthcare after she refuses to pay her medical bills?
    1
  3007. Next time, train your dogs to gnaw any unknown intruder in the balls/cooch
    1
  3008.  @mitsuri3096  Watch your double negatives!
    1
  3009. He looks more like the Punisher
    1
  3010. Now do calculus questions!
    1
  3011. This is why I don’t like to go travel anymore
    1
  3012.  @qowiwiiwj  Better to be safe below that to be perilous at the top
    1
  3013. Maybe next Christmas, Brian Thompson’s soul can play one of the ghosts haunting Scrooge
    1
  3014. Leave the alterations and revisions of Hamilton to the socialized Internet forums
    1
  3015. This might freeze your a$$es, but it sure beats having your head blown off!!
    1
  3016. What about corrections institutions?
    1
  3017. There’s people who would strip down to their shorts and frolick around during a torrential hurricane storm! What else would you expect?!
    1
  3018. I heard of catcalling, but dogcalling? This is why I only have pet fish
    1
  3019. ​ @Various_block  Who made you arbiter of jokes?
    1
  3020. They need to install a fence perimeter around that lake…
    1
  3021. There was no Love from this cop
    1
  3022. I bet she wrote to Slenderman to threaten the orderlies to release her early
    1
  3023. She’s gonna end up in another kind of can of convicted!
    1
  3024. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=708mjaHTwKc
    1
  3025. I think I may have seen this on a low-budget cult film
    1
  3026. I like to beat these people with sticks, stand on their broken backs and pose selfies of my victorious self-image
    1
  3027. In Russia, kids fight each other on the rink more than the parents
    1
  3028. And then all those kids who ate the Cheetos got suspended for ingesting drugs on school property!
    1
  3029. It's a dog eat dog world out there
    1
  3030. First, he helped deliver the food. Tomorrow, her baby…
    1
  3031. And then it sneezed so hard, it caused an electrical surge that blew up some of the neon sign letters of Fatso's House!
    1
  3032. He never asked for this…
    1
  3033.  @noodleegg  what, you never read played Deux Ex: Human Revolution?
    1
  3034.  @jeigee  We’ll wait and see. It’s too early to tell
    1
  3035. Diddy is gonna be combing chest hairs all day, everyday!
    1
  3036. Strange that they don’t have to call 911 first before they can save someone’s life!
    1
  3037. Either their oven is on the fritz or that pepperoni pizza must've tasted THAT scrumptiously good!
    1
  3038. We need to post more orderly guards around the patient rooms
    1
  3039. Serving their country AND ass-kicking justice before breakfast!
    1
  3040. Meh, I plan to play the rest of Hollow Knight on this day. Who am I to,judge?
    1
  3041. She literally cashed herself outside, just like that teen girl from the Dr Phil Show
    1
  3042. First the coronavirus pandemic, and NOW a zombie apocalypse! HOW CAN IT GET ANY WORSE????!!!!!
    1
  3043. You know that if the teacher was male, the judge would’ve gave him the 40-year sentence instead. If the teacher was found dead on a bloody floor with a shiv shoved up her vagina, no one would even notice her.
    1
  3044. I like to hear her yodel "Riiiccooollaaaa"
    1
  3045. Mountain of cocaine!
    1
  3046. (Un)fun fact: The Burlington Beatles were one of England’s first special Victorian-era police force who specialized in tackling common street crimes, which also included pickpocketing. Their methods of tackling pickpocketing is to ban people from whistling in the arcade (type of marketplace), because pickpocketing gangs would use that as a form of clandestine communication.
    1
  3047. DAMN! It wasn't even peanut butter jelly time!
    1
  3048.  @juanakravitz3024  Somebody didn't watch "Happy Gilmore"
    1
  3049. All we need now is for Techno Viking to join in to provide the music with his dance moves!
    1
  3050. Sure beats murdering your spouse
    1
  3051. He’s gonna become the new Sogeking someday! Perhaps he should start watching Joerg Sprave for some inspiration!
    1
  3052. Patience is a virtue
    1
  3053. This reminds me more of Happy Gilmore than the Hulk
    1
  3054. In war, not everyone here is a soldier…
    1
  3055. You're a snowflake, Putin!
    1
  3056. If I can't save this teddy bear from drowning, THEN I CAN'T CALL MYSELF A HERO!!
    1
  3057.  @DaRealNobody_  This should be made into a movie!
    1
  3058. They should’ve paid for a clown car
    1
  3059. If I came back home with my house cleaned, I would purchase multiple door locks and search every nook and cranny for government listening devices, and NEVER leave my house ever again!
    1
  3060. What about balloons though? Or outer space?!!
    1
  3061. I bet you 50 bucks that elementary school will be torn down within a few years after this debauchery
    1
  3062. PHEW, thought they took a drink at the poisoned watering hole
    1
  3063.  @iMetalMatt  not with that kinda attitude
    1
  3064. I heard people would sometimes say they would kill over a cup of coffee. I didn’t figure they would actually do it!
    1
  3065. Will we be able to detect android fingerprints?
    1
  3066. Tesla’s slogan should be “Built Too Tough”
    1
  3067.  @zenitsu1389  We had the Black Plague, and now it’s the Red Plague
    1
  3068.  @zenitsu1389  it will make your lungs bloody
    1
  3069. One more thing: How do you make sure she doesn't end up using this skill inappropriately? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LV3bH1x_7MI
    1
  3070. I bet the 200th would-be hostage was the Israeli woman who fought back and killed the rest of these Hummus troopers
    1
  3071.  @jasonm7973  Still, having gators in a golf course should be terrible for business, unless you install special fencing to keep the gators from entering/exiting the ponds
    1
  3072. Why does every man return back single after vacationing with their girlfriend lately?
    1
  3073. Doubt weed was the factor, but stupidity surely is
    1
  3074. That's it! We're burninating California!
    1
  3075. This is why you don't ride old rickety vintage planes!!
    1
  3076. You're under arrest---for being FUNKY!
    1
  3077. Next time, buy a child tracker app
    1
  3078. This is why you always chip your dogs!
    1
  3079. This is nothing! Back in 2009, a pilot named Juan Alberto Poch was arrested in a Dutch passenger airplane for crimes against humanity, because he bragged to his friends that he partook in an Argentinian mass murder program known as death flights back in 1976-1983. These involved throwing off drugged out and stripped prisoners of war off a flying airplane (with no parachutes) out in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. It was estimated that 1000 of these prisoners had died this way. After a few re-trials, Poch was acquitted in 2017, citing that his boistering self-incriminating bragging does not suffice evidence of committing war crimes.
    1
  3080. Discontent Rises Greatly Hope Falls Greatly
    1
  3081. This is why I use a gas mask and wash it with Lysol
    1
  3082. Bison: F&&K YOU!! I'm eating!!
    1
  3083. He may be Provo, but he’s no IRA expert!
    1
  3084. Still can't hack through a physical keylock though!
    1
  3085. The blood can also be used to represent the sacrifices to workers' wages made my Mcdonalds, just to make an extra buck
    1
  3086. He was just looking for the Ukrainian army recruitment center to enlist
    1
  3087. You forgot to give a random aggressive angry raccoon a heartwarming hug!
    1
  3088. Dos vadoniya, don’t get any Onya!
    1
  3089. If video games taught me anything, it’s that you should always be wary of weak points of infrastructure
    1
  3090. What's next on their ration stock list, oxygen tanks??
    1
  3091. How many slaves- I MEAN - Oompa Loompas did it take to provide all that chocolate for that statue?
    1
  3092.  @lilbacon7777  Did you get the gold??!
    1
  3093. Can they clean up the nuclear waste at Fukushima?
    1
  3094. Eat your heart out, Lindsey Sterling!
    1
  3095. It could be a dying animal for all know
    1
  3096. Start burning your Russian passports on livestream and perhaps provide a service to destroy any Russian passports through a paper shredder! Then we might consider not shooting up or burning down your Zhopa establishments!
    1
  3097. On the bright side, he did not end up growing into an obese villain like Nick Advocado!
    1
  3098. 156 mph (249.6 kmh)??!! That’s as fast as his golf ball swing!
    1
  3099. She should've hire John Wick to walk her dogs
    1
  3100. He should be lucky none of his victims had a gun in hand ready
    1
  3101. And now I can hear thousands of conservative news anchors complain about cancel culture once again...
    1
  3102. This is just "preventative medicine" for the ladies
    1
  3103. No girl is going to go out with a guy who came in too early
    1
  3104. Better to just make a reflecting projector with a cardboard box, paper sheet and a toilet paper tube
    1
  3105. He didn't call her a 'tramp'; he said IF he called her a 'tramp'! Do you even understand the meaning of the English language??
    1
  3106.  @shawnana9338  Yes. Yes I do. And I'm totally okay with you only hypothesizing the alternative possibility
    1
  3107. He was a good man with a rich history
    1
  3108. Maybe if they re-purposed the public funds to more social and rehabilitation programs to counsel young psychos, there wouldn't be crazy people shooting wildly in the first place!
    1
  3109. Smarter and deadlier too…
    1
  3110. We had it with one crybaby whining on the plane! We don’t need a f**kin’ ‘ other one!
    1
  3111. Coronavirus: The Musical
    1
  3112. Garfield approves!
    1
  3113. No-fly list for unruly passengers? What’s next, banning people from highways for denting someone’s bumper?
    1
  3114. If he thinks that’s the worst American experience he had, he should visit St. Louis
    1
  3115. Did she threw out that drink out of the window after finding out?
    1
  3116. So when is Caesar going to find his first b1tch?
    1
  3117. What’s next, tickling a sea urchin?
    1
  3118. If he was black, he would've been shot in the back seven times
    1
  3119. But can it protect you against bullets like the Kingsmen umbrella?
    1
  3120. True Sons DO exist...
    1
  3121. Just goes to prove that people don’t want to abolish police; they just want them to stop abusing their power for their own gain
    1
  3122. He lasted longer inside the whale than that guy who attempted to get swallowed by a cobra
    1
  3123. So when a dog does it, they immediately receive medical aid... But when a DEER does it, they either get kicked out or euthanized!
    1
  3124. I bet the flash flood was also staged by the robbers in a failed attempt to drive the dogs into their pick-up truck!
    1
  3125. Does he do square dancing for elderly Chinese people?
    1
  3126. Even if the address was correct, this has got to be the WORST little whorehouse in Texas if this is the only harlot in town! These men want girls who look like they’re from the 80s, not ladies IN their 80s!
    1
  3127. 1:15 Just like the police report on the raid of Breonna Taylor's house!
    1
  3128. He really has lost his cool
    1
  3129. I would've just eaten the shrimp tails; in fact, I wouldn't mind a crunchy shrimp chips breakfast cereal
    1
  3130. And you thought waiting in the line at the DMV was horrible...
    1
  3131. He forgot to order in a pile of haystacks
    1
  3132. I'm surprised the officer didn't send in another police dog to sick her in the groin before shooting her kneecap
    1
  3133. How could they make a mistake by one number? Did the perp hired someone to change the door numbers to confuse the police before they arrived??!
    1
  3134.  @LordBrittish  Sometimes, you just got to laugh in the face of death to make it a bit more bearable
    1
  3135. First time being robbed AND last!
    1
  3136. I'm surprised the Tesla's AI suddenly realized what's happening and decided to drive off automatically without the owner!
    1
  3137. Cold medicines had been used by drug dealers to make meth, so that theory isn't too far-fetched
    1
  3138. It’s all fun and games, until one of your idiot family members decides to cook it for dinner!
    1
  3139. Just make sure these wooden models aren’t in the shape of maids
    1
  3140. Next time you complain to the bus driver who slammed the brakes on schoolchildren, remember this guy!
    1
  3141. Big bucks mean big game hunting
    1
  3142. He’s just advertising the type of booty he’ll twerk in prison later on!
    1
  3143. Looks like God is even becoming woke with the millenials!
    1
  3144. Sam Porter Bridges to the rescue!!
    1
  3145. This is even worse than the U-2 incident!
    1
  3146. It could be just a smudge on the lens
    1
  3147. I think she just wanted to find an excuse to try out the tow truck ramp
    1
  3148. Guys, please don’t end up like Ben Shapiro who criticized Nicki Minaj’s Wet Ass P-word! Crying out micro-aggressions from the left makes you no better than the right-wing grifters who get easily triggered over even the most minute sexual references! She obviously meant “losing control” when she was using the word “spazzing”
    1
  3149. What’s next, an oar-powered party trireme?
    1
  3150. And people call me paranoid for being aware of any travel dangers
    1
  3151. “Hope you got dental insurance!” -Mad Dentist, probably
    1
  3152. If this stand-off went off the rails, I would've unleashed the 2008 VICI from Testees vimeo.com/48253073 (SKIP TO 16 min 38 s)
    1
  3153. You think a treasure hunter would someday find the Wicked Witch’s underwear?
    1
  3154. All it needs now is a whale torso structure so it won’t get instantaneously compressed at great depths!
    1
  3155. @ They didn’t told her how she could leave though
    1
  3156. @ I think you might had teleported yourself into the wrong universe
    1
  3157. @ Let’s not get into personal attacks. Perhaps you should rewatch the whole raw video and check if she was using any threatening language before criticizing
    1
  3158. More like Keeping Up with the KKK (Kardashian’s Krazy Kerfuffle)
    1
  3159. Next time, maybe try eating a can of spinach
    1
  3160. Guess his pleas fell on deaf ears
    1
  3161. The only way this story can get more interesting is if that owner was a pirate or drug dealer
    1
  3162. Uhhh, hello? Did you not play Dead Space?!
    1
  3163. Not only did he saved the ref, he also saved himself a lotta red and yellow cards!
    1
  3164. How does she smell?
    1
  3165. This looks like a job for— CUPHEEEAAAADDD!!
    1
  3166. And this is why you don't operate vehicles while wasted!
    1
  3167.  @OttoByOgraffey  This killer is out on a limb
    1
  3168. Year 2119: Family Worker Still Continues to Use 100-year-old laptop
    1
  3169.  Threeper %  I guess name calling is your only move, because you're too weak to challenge me in any other way
    1
  3170. Meh, not as exciting as Niagara Falls
    1
  3171. Finally, an android that pedobears could have their way with, minus the consequences!
    1
  3172.  @mikegallant811  Yet effective
    1
  3173.  @mikegallant811  Is it any more criminal than letting the plague spread while ignoring lockdowns and refusing to get vaccinated?
    1
  3174. Every kph is a killer
    1
  3175. At least pay him extra bare essentials to combat the cold and hunger, like maybe an extra coat, sweatpants and hot cocoa!
    1
  3176. I wonder how they handle divorces. Do the soon-to-be ex dog couple go to pet court?
    1
  3177. Did they thought they were dealing with a Russian Metro librarian?
    1
  3178. So it’s a thunder-elemental flan from Final Fantasy
    1
  3179. I hope she gets charged with miner assault
    1
  3180. Did you not check the license plate?!
    1
  3181. And if I ever catch you congregating at the lunch room without a mask, I will send Keanu Reeves over to go John Wick on your sorry asses!!!
    1
  3182. From redrum to red lit
    1
  3183. @Ghosts dancing Then they shall excercise for a black belt around their lips!
    1
  3184.  @freddiecunningham2860  And then you’ll be arrested for assault, leave your family behind, let your wife be courted by some other douche, allow your daughter to hang out with some other criminal scum, taint your reputation, get shot at by a potential gun owner and/or lose your driver’s license. But HEY! If you wanna go ruin your own life by attacking in rage (unless if it’s self defence), by all means!
    1
  3185. I hope they clean off its "cream frosting" stains every once in a while
    1
  3186. Do they remove Trump tattoos for free as well?
    1
  3187. I can't wait for them to blog about their day in court!
    1
  3188. Reminded me of Luna’s Big Comfy Couch that was converted into a biplane
    1
  3189. You cancel us, we cancel YOU! I hope they find where he works and inundate his work phone line with angry reviews and messages of cancelling subscriptions!
    1
  3190. Birthday Bertha?
    1
  3191.  @TheUnoriginalDrCorgi  You do know they usually subject them to restrictive regiments of marching, cleaning, working and other repetitive exercises in Japanese prisons, right? Solitary is usually reserved for those who disobey their restrictive rules
    1
  3192. It’s too bad the forces of the universe didn’t go after Bezo’s super yacht. That would’ve been a BIGGER well-deserved blow to the ultra rich!
    1
  3193. The city in Bladerunner has better air quality than this
    1
  3194. Now that's putting your best foot forward!
    1
  3195. Let’s force the mom to open an Onlyfans account and make her get laid with multiple dudes to help fund these kids’ college funds! That’ll teach’er!
    1
  3196. I hope all her friends and family will tell the dispatcher to shut up while she breathes her last breath
    1
  3197. The whistleblower was right; Congress has turned into a casino
    1
  3198. He went from soup to totally nuts!!!
    1
  3199. Make use of the useless? I’m all for it!
    1
  3200. If only people like him was kind to my dad's homemade household in California
    1
  3201. Austria: Welcome back
    1
  3202. Roast those reds inside their own steel coffins!
    1
  3203. He must’ve took inspiration from Detroit: Become Human
    1
  3204. I think the cartels had found their new favourite mass execution method!
    1
  3205. Suuuuurrreeeee……next thing you’re going to tell me, there is no masked man with a cross on its face!
    1
  3206. That's why I do 30 min walks in the morning and 2-3 hour walks before bed
    1
  3207. Yaba dabba DAMMIT!!
    1
  3208. She went from watching "I AM MOTHER" to "I AM STUPID"
    1
  3209.  @elliott1901  He did exacerbate it though
    1
  3210.  @gerraldyovindi7980  How can you call yourself moral if you don't push further to investigate CIA torture, fail to prosecute American war criminals and continue expansions of needless wars in the Middle East?
    1
  3211. ​ @MrLobo1024  Because he tried to avoid going there in Vietnam with his so-called "boned spurs" excuse
    1