Comments by "" (@kellygreenii) on "Ask An Older Man" channel.

From other women actively trying to sabotage their relationships.
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@ So does a fundamental lack of respect and appreciation of what the other partner contributes. (His job is a hobby?). So does selfishness and immaturity. The problem wasn’t his response. It was her being foolish enough to listen tk someone e who is not an ally of her marriage and may not have her best interests at heart. Don’t accept someone’s criticism if you wouldn’t take their advice. Don’t take someone’s advice unless you want their results….
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KS said it best: They became the men they wanted to marry. But they are finding that those men now don’t want them.
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It’s what happens when you give power to the power-hungry.
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@ How much is your dignity worth to you? How much is your self-respect worth to you? Because a woman who will do that to you isn’t going to stop there. She’s going to keep challenging your boundaries and demanding more and more until you finally stand up to her. Yeah, she may leave. Yeah she’ll take her half with her. But the question is how much are you willing to take from her…and for how long?
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I think she just wanted out. Shit gets real when you have a baby. It brings up unfinished business from your own childhood. You’re tired. If you’re a woman, hormones are flying everywhere . I think she was just having a meltdown. But—as you can hear in that video—-everything is someone else’s responsibility. So instead of looking in the mirror and fixing herself, she lashed out at a safe target: the man who clearly still loves her despite all the changes she is putting him and his child through. I think she is waking up, and is realizing she hopped out of the frying pan and into the fire. Because those problems didn’t go away. They got worse.
12
It’s a class and trauma thing. Public policy was engineered to break up black families in the 1960s… then the cocaine wars in the 1980s. The result is you now have these profoundly dysfunctional families with tons of unresolved trauma from addiction, abandonment, loss, etc… But you are also starting to see the same issues arise now in rural and Rust Belt YT families….for the same reasons: financial stress, broken families, addiction (opioids, meth) It’s like they say in 12-step groups: what was done to you wasn’t your fault, but dealing with it (and healing it) is your responsibility. Because no one else can or will do it for you.
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Go directly to Children’s Services. Don’t pas Go. Insist on full custody. Do not collect $200. OMFG.
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@ I said it was irrelevant and that is what I meant. I’m not offering anyone any advice. Just pointing out awkward and inconvenient truths. Which is why you’re trying to shut me down…. Someone who calls someone’s full time job—-that earns enough to support two people— “a hobby” is delusional….and she does not respect that person. A wife who listens to the advice of some who thinks that…is unmarried herself…is at best painfully naive. Women will actively sabotage other women’s relationships. So taking someone’s advice without first determining if they are an ally of the marriage is a bad plan.
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Yeah. It’s seems she IS the woman she is trying to warn other people about…
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No. You have to understand that the Ohio Legislature is dominated by religious authoritarians…and this is an effort to bypass the language in the Ohio Constitution protecting choice. Voted there in a 60-40 margin by Ohio voters. Those same authoritarians knew they would lose that vote and tried to change the rules to prevent it.
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@ Not a relevant to the discussion, and an intrusive question.
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"Emotions are powerful servants, but terrible masters."
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Two reasons: a way to circumvent the demands of the criminal courts with the higher evidence standards, statute of limitations, and higher burden of proof (preponderance of the evidence vs beyond a reasonable doubt). The other is that it allows facilitated blackmail. Even if eventually proven innocent you can do massive damage to someone reputation and force them to settle in order just to make it go away. Point 2B…the courts have bent over backwards to be friendly to actual victims that there are basically no consequences for bad actors who are trying to abuse the system. Johnny Depp eventually proved his innocence with regards to his wife’s allegations. Yet it took two trials, millions of dollars in legal fees, and damage to his career that he still hasn’t recovered from.
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First video. That’s the solipsism. She only sees what she does and what other women do to help her. She doesn’t see what a man does that makes her life easier, safer and more comfortable. It’s just this attitude of “how dare you say that I have any responsibilities to other people?!?”
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Addition by subtraction. 👍
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Go to Appalachia or certain parts of the Rust Belt, you’ll see the same thing.
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@EncodedXkama Wherever you’re standing. You can’t control what other people do, or whether they choose to work through their pain. Most people don’t. You only get to decide how you will relate to them and how they choose to behave.
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One. You can’t fix a problem until you have defined what it is. Two. Many women are not open to negative feedback of any sort. No matter how gently or respectfully it is delivered Three, people who try to give any sort of guidance where the pov is that women have issues to address in terms of healing or maturation get attacked, labeled…or censored. So the these spaces tend to focus on teaching men to protect themselves from what society doesn’t want us to see or speak of. It’s even worse for women who have good marriages. If they try to give any guidance they get treated so poorly by other women, that most of them have just decided it’s better to stay quiet. You can’t work towards reasonable solutions if can’t even speak openly to clearly define the problem….
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@ There are channels like that. I will respect Paul’s platform by not naming them directly. But you can’t put the cart before the horse. Part of having a successful marriage is learning how to pick someone with the maturity, character and sense of values to make it work. Few women coming out of hookup culture have these. So first you have to vet women to find the potential wife among a sea of women who only know how to be girlfriends. Then teach them how to preserve the marriage. The problem here is that you have a ton of women who need to be taught how to be wives…but they don’t want to hear anything that sounds like RESPONSIBILITY. Too many of them want privileges and status that comes with being a married woman, but have no interest in being wives. Or making the effort to maintain a marriage. Because that’s work…and it isn’t always fun or exciting. Which is why marriage rates are plummeting and men are waking up And realizing that marriage is a raw deal for them. Lots of risk. Little reward…so they are walking away from the bargaining table. Nah, keep it. I’m good….
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Disagree. I think it is more about maturity. Children are self-absorbed and are naturally takers. Mother Nature wants them to get the resources they need to survive to adulthood. It takes good parenting to socialize them into considering others…and maturity to want to give to others (like their own children). The problem is we have several generations now that have simply failed to grow up. They took the selfishness and immaturity of childhood into their adult years…. …and then passed it on, because you can’t model for children what you never mastered yourself. I was watching a podcast a few years ago and this (thankfully single) woman literally couldn’t grasp the idea that someone would put the happiness of their children above their own. It was like she couldn’t understand the words being spoken,she looked so confused. She was a child in a woman’s body….
2
Ex-sample?? 😁
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Try to get this past the censors. First Lady is telling it like is. I saw this IRL. A professional colleague married her high school sweetheart. He was a factory worker. Paid for education. Did the lion’s share of the housework during her training. She was content. Her male colleagues treated him with kindness and respect. Their wives? Went out of their way to let him know that they thought she’d married down and what they thought of him. Really sad…and clarifying…to watch play out in real time…..
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@MrBigbangbuzz You can have stable FwB arrangements where both parties are clear and agree about where the boundaries are. A situationship is unstable because one party wants more than that, and has become emotionally invested, while the other is not.
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1. There is a lot of misinformation out there about what RP is. A lot of the media wants you to believe that Andrew Tate is RP….or that it is angry, socially anxious men living in mom’s basement. 2. Men push back against it because men don’t want to believe that their entire worldview is wrong. You only become RP as a man when you have been forced to confront the dark side. 3. Women push back for many reasons. a. Their power over men is wrapped up in keeping how they operate a secret. RP drags a lot of what women do into the light. b. Women tend to personalize things they hear. Rather than taking a dispassionate, 30,000 ft view. So if it doesn’t apply to them (or their circle of friends) they get mad and insist you’re stereotyping and being a misogynist. Despite the fact that evo psych backs up what actual RP has to say. c. Women know…in their guts…that they need men more that men need women. So seeing high-quality men opting out of marriage, or walking away from prioritizing the needs of women is frightening. d. Society enables women to avoid having to face their flaws as human beings by gaslighting, or assuming a victim identity and projecting responsibility for their choices onto men. It’s why we now are dealing with a generation of women who are immature and deeply narcissistic: nothing is ever their responsibility or their fault. 4. When a man initially goes RP, he is angry…because he realizes that he’s bern betrayed by society and by the women around him. Unfortunately the men who cannot accept what they see stay angry and bitter. Usually trolling the internet throwing rocks. Whereas men who accept what they see…and stop asking women to be what they can’t be…and do what they can’t do? Are invisible…because their relationships with women get better. They stop apologizing for being men, and they stop giving women what they ask for…and start giving women what they actually want. It is embarrassingly inconvenient for women in an f-nist society to say they want masculine, confident men……
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@eternaltruth1666 Depends on the woman. Immature or toxic women? Yep.
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@GuyIncognito__ There are other channels…mainly run by women or married couples…who do that. I’ll respect Paul’s platform and not name them…but they aren’t hard to find. But no one is running to channels that take the moral inventory of men struggling to shut women down and insist that they need to focus on solutions. Only those platform that put a spotlight on the bad behavior of women. Double standard?!?
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@bobird6099 There are teenagers who have functional moral compasses. You just don’t find them on OF.
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No sisters? Plenty of reasons to be friends with a woman…no reason to be friend-zoned by one. Friend-zone relationships aren’t friendships. They are someone who is taking advantage of you…trying to get boyfriend- or even husband-benefits while giving nothing in return. They just say you are a “friend” to soothe their conscience and manage their reputation.
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@chriseze8893 Disagree. They don’t love it. Especially when they think they’ve found the man they want…only to realize that he doesn’t want her back.
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Nothing wrong with game. All “game” is an understanding of how human courtship works. How you use that understanding is what matters. Women get offended by it because it dispels that illusion that we’re all special snowflakes. Reality is that we are unique in some ways…and not in others. …and when you understand that you are in a position to care for yourself (and others) intelligently and well.
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@ Got..it. The level of censorship on YT is getting ridiculous. My first reply got swept up by the algorithms…and vanished: I’ll say this: she is not making a principled argument. So don’t treat it as such. She is making an emotional and self-serving one. Recognize it for what it is…and respond accordingly….
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@cmdplaytowin True. But the issue here is what makes you attractive to women…
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@randomflagg7331 Society isn’t ready to see women as offenders yet….
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It means that men stop prioritizing women’s needs over their own. The problem is that women want men to invest in them, while they offer almost nothing of value to men in return. They want the benefits of modernity when it works to their advantage, and the protections of tradition when they work to their advantage. So women get freedom with out risk, and power without responsibility. Men get stuck with risk without reward, and responsibility without authority. Raw deal.
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@JscottSears Because you can’t socialize people out of their biology. Only humans are so arrogant as to think Mother Nature doesn’t have a say in this and everything is a “social construct”. 🙄
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Agreed. I’m getting pretty-privilege-run-wild vibes from her….and her excitement and joy at ending a marriage is really off-putting.
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@fillupbanks7885 No. He means being selective about who you deal with. Because low-quality women know they can manipulate men emotionally and s3xually. If you are a successful man and you don’t take caution about who you deal with? Bad things happen. “If you can’t figure out who in the room is the pigeon? Chances are it’s you. “ -Anonymous.
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The irony is that she told on herself and revealed the solipsism and gynocentrism. Femininity is under attack by f-nism…an a narcissistic generation of women. Society is unraveling because men are expected to bear society’s burdens….while surrendering all of its privileges. Yet women expect to be given power…without any of the responsibilities that go with it. To be give freedom while society protects them from risk. Life doesn’t work that way. You don’t get to be equal when it’s convenient…and protected when it’s convenient. In an egalitarian society, men owe women nothing, simply because they are women… “No, No, No. That was not a question!” —-The Devil Wears Prada.
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If a man is stuck with an abusive wife, it’s usually because he grew up with an abusive mother. The wife’s bad behavior is family-ar.
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Translation: he likes being with you but not enough to commit because he knows he can do better. Which means, ladies, you are punching above your weight class. There are not enough Chads and Tyrones for everyone to get one. Someone is left without a chair when the music stops….
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Nah… Just goldigger. Why should she give up actual s3x if she can get what she wants with just the possibility (someday) of it? Same scam…just at a higher skill level….
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@rabdulwahid At that point, you walk.
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@sonnyqsoul Situationship is a former FWB where one person has caught feelings and wants a higher level of commitment than the other is willing to give. “It’s complicated”. No, not really.
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