Comments by "" (@kellygreenii) on "PsycHacks" channel.

  1. It’s also about the assurance of paternity. If a woman is more likely to cheat, any child she has is less likely to actually be yours. The higher the body count the less likely she’s able to form stable LTRs…and she’s a bad investment as far as any sort of committed relationship.
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  2. The best cure is learning to notice “choosing signals”. It is vastly easier to approach women who are already showing interest. Than trying to generate interest in women who are indifferent or even hostile.
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  3. Yep. NEVER say anything behind someone’s back that you are not willing to say to their face. Life gets really simple and really peaceful…
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  4. Something tells me she stayed….
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  5. Which is why you never make pleasing them the center of your world. Create the life you enjoy, and then see who shows up. …and if they stop enjoying it, show them to the door.
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  6. It’s the same thing that kids and other people’s who have not had to learn about power go through. The see the privileges that go with power, but don’t see and don’t want the responsibility that goes with it…and you can’t have one without the other. So—as a guy—I see so many women demanding the privileges and powers that have traditionally been reserved to men…. …but then howl and rage at the responsibilities that were always part of the package. How’d we get here. In rebelling against biology-as-Destiny, we’ve made a pathologic pendulum swing to the other extreme: biology doesn’t matter. Both are wrong. Biology is “TENDENCY”. Which is why so many women (not all) are so miserable as they find themselves required to take on the traditional RESPONSIBILITIES of being a man. Or the wheels come off their lives because they refuse to take them up, and only want the privileges.
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  7.  @Captain_MonsterFart  Yes. But men are open about the fact that the women they simply want to sleep with are not the same as those they’ll consider marrying. Women too often seem to try to turn the men that they want to sleep with into being the kind of man they want to marry…and that never ends well.
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  8. But the problem is that most women are being socialized to see marriage as a power struggle: I have to fight him to get equal treatment…. So everything gets seen through a victim lens, and her every bad feeling is his fault….
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  9. …and you’re asking someone to engage in what has become a high risk behavior for a reward that is increasingly not worth the risk. I once told a female co-worker who was loudly having a conversation in my presence about hair color. I’m made the mistake of saying off-handedly, “I think the best color (for a woman) is the one Mother Nature gave her….” Just a general comment. Nothing remotely personal. The result. I got (literally) cursed out. I got loudly cursed out for basically giving an indirect compliment…and people were looking at her as if she’d lost her mind… Who in their right mind would risk asking her out and having to deal with the apocalyptic consequences of her not being interested? Anyone?
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  10. Ding! We have a winner. The successful women who wind up (happily) married to successful men? KNOW HOW TO TURN OFF that competitive, driven energy when they come home. They come home and slip back into their feminine. As a guy, being with a woman who can’t do that? Is about as appealing as being a woman married to a military man who can’t turn of the urge to bark orders at people. Bringing that home is toxic and tiresome to those around them. The last thing he wants to do after a long day of fighting to wrangle resources from the world is come home to another power-struggle. This time over who leads the dance of their personal lives. That’s a headache and a stressor that a man will eventually get tired of having to deal with.
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  11.  @leeolie3728  No. You get up and walk away. She can’t have a fight by herself…and trying to control (“check”) her behavior only add fuel to the fire. There is no (legal) way you can force her to respect you or your boundaries. The most powerful form of rejecting her bad behavior is simply ignoring her and it…by just walking away. Because you are denying her the very thing she wants: attention.
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  12.  @andrewmackenzie325  Laugh all you want. I have a very happily married sister who IS happily married, because she realized that same thing. Leave that competitive energy outside of the relationship with her husband. The problem too many women are too stubborn and too proud to be willing to do that. But then she also chose WISELY.
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  13.  @HelloWorld-cq1sq  both aspects have their dark and light side. The problem is that our culture has declared it “anti-woman” to set any sort of limits on a woman’s behavior. No matter how selfish, toxic and immature it is.
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  14.  @hiannahgus574  No, it isn’t. It’s an accurate assessment of a toxic group dynamic. The common practice of women trying to shame men who speak unflattering truths is another such dynamic. Shall we continue? I’m very good at this game….
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  15. Exactly. It means you are in relationship with someone of sound character. People of good character act with integrity. Move according to principles rather than pure desire or self-interest. Which makes them predictable. They do what they say. They say what they mean, and they are consistent. If you want “excitement” you are basically selecting for people who either have poor character or are mentally ill.
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  16.  @scottverge938  Women move on emotion. So asking them to explain rationally why they do what they do is a frustrating waste of time. Society doesn’t require them to discipline those emotions so a lot of them never do it. But biology and psychology drive those emotions. So if a woman has an opportunity to get with a man she feels is more attractive or higher status than you? She’s going to dump you, unless she has learned to discipline her biology/emotions, and honor commitments. If she is feeling some void or inadequacy in herself (every supermodel seems to have a midlife meltdowns as her beauty fades, and the power that it gave her goes with it)? She may use sex and the validation of men as a drug to self- medicate that pain. So her betrayal is not personal…and since she’s high on the feel-goods? She will ruthlessly feel no regrets…until the crash back down to reality arrives. This is why it’s important to ignore what most women say…and watch what they do. Watching what they do will show you what those instincts and emotions are pushing them to do…and what they truly want on that gut level.
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  17.  @LisaMarie-eh7up  Because feminism has turned that word into a curse word. You submit to authority/leadership. If you’ve ever worked for someone else? You submitted to your boss. If you’ve ever ridden in a car, you submitted to the person driving the car. Men submit EVERY DAY. It’s why we work so well together as teams. We submit our individual agendas to the goals of the team (hunting party). Men, when left to their own devices, organize ourselves into hierarchies. Women, organize themselves into circles. Which is fine in situations where it’s not a problem when there is no clear leadership. But when women try to run a marriage like it’s a circle, the vast majority come to resent the man for the lack of leadership and protection… they themselves asked to be created. Everyone has a right to do their own thing…when they are by themselves. The moment you join with someone else, YOU BECOME PART OF A TEAM…and you had to SUBMIT your personal agendas to the goals of the TEAM…and a team can only have one leader. Now that leader has to do the same thing. Even though he has authority, that authority comes with concrete responsibilities to those he is leading. He can’t be a tyrant. But you can’t do whatever you want whenever you want to. Teams fall apart in the face of that joins of selfishness.
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  18.  @dwdwone  LOTS of social interaction (get out from behind the screens). Lots of videos about body language and game. Pay attention to your gut. Women move on emotion.
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  19. It’s in short supply, period. Men just pay a higher price for it than women do. Because society has little tolerance of it from men.
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  20.  @popejaimie  Sorry you feel that way, but I’m not defined by your anger. Nor am I responsible for whatever it is you’re mad about
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  21. The fact that you get two different answers shows the fundamental disconnect between what they say they want, and what they respond to. Which is why I learned early on not to listen to what women say in the mating game, but watch what they do. Their actions speak the truth. Their words reflects their social mask, and what they think society wants to hear.
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  22. Even more basic. She wants the status and lifestyle that comes with you, but doesn’t want the costs or responsibilities that come with being with a driven, successful man. Which is why you don’t want to get caught up with a woman who doesn’t have a life outside of her relationships.
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  23.  @Zwammertje  Why do you women always need to make things about you? Whenever a guy talks about the behavior of a toxic woman it’s always “Well men do it too!!” I swear it’s like dealing with children. There is almost never any space for men to talk about their experiences without you trying to hijack it and make it either about women…or invalidate what the guys have to say Knock it off.
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  24.  @lorrilewis2178  Then you need to pay closer attention to how women behave outside your immediate circle, because it isn’t “baloney”. Hell you’re on a site where the creator—a clinical psychologist—-posted a video called, “Why Women Never Apologize.” I’ve been on this planet a half century. Had women do some really crappy things to me, and I can count on my fingers and toes the number of times women have apologized to me for things they did….and still have digits left over. That’s even including the “non-apology” apologies. There are women who have the strength of character to own up to their actions and genuinely apologize…but they are relatively rare. Hell even finding one who is willing to acknowledge she’s wrong and back down in an argument—even without an apology—is a rarity…and a woman worthy of a closer look.
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  25. They don’t get to eat their cake and have it too. They don’t get the satisfaction of being chased while also protected from ever being approached by someone they aren’t attracted to. Life doesn’t work that way. Because the guy one woman wants is a guy a number of women would never consider. So all men face rejection…and if you make the cost of it to be the destruction of your life? Men are going to stop doing it. Okay we’ll leave you alone. All of you
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  26.  @leeolie3728  Can’t be concerned by that. You can either be healthy…or popular…but not both. Especially if you are dealing with a toxic woman. Because society will make all kinds of excuses for women engaging in emotionally or socially aggressive behavior. The only way to win at an unwinnable game is not to play. Walk. Away.
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  27.  @lorrilewis2178  But that vision is not consistent with the biologically-driven desires of the vast majority of women. Women—as a group—lose attraction to, and grow to resent men who actually hand over those responsibilities to her. She starts to view him as a child rather than as a lover and a man. That is feminism’s failure. In trying to resist Biology-as-Destiny they fell into the trap of insisting that biology doesn’t matter…and ran into a wall of reality that didn’t care about ideology. A What Is that doesn’t give two shits about What Should Be.
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  28. Actually he is red pill. He’s just RP without all the other stuff mixed in. His analogy about women being like cats? Pure RP.
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  29.  @smarthalayla6397  Nah. You simply have women who want the freedom and power that come with modernity…but without the risk and responsibilities that go with them. They also want the protection and provisioning of tradition without having to give up anything in return for it. I always pay for dates. Because I can afford it, and it simplifies my life. But I’m not going to spend lavishly on a date. That’s a girlfriend benefit. If she has a problem with that, she knows where the door is and can show herself out. If there is no reciprocity—doing nice things for me in return to show affection and gratitude, like having me over to her place for a home cooked meal—— I will escort her to the door and ask her to leave. Go use someone else, dear.
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  30.  @Alexxx492  It’s easy to do. What makes it difficult is all the other expectations that women (these days) place on to of marriage. Women today expect one man to meet most of the needs that women used to get from extended family and a community of female friends. So they aren’t looking for a man. They are looking for a superhero.
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  31. I’ve similarly have had to deal with “handsy” women at work….but interestingly I’m largely invisible away from work and among those who don’t know my status as a professional. So I see both sides. The attention that men who are perceived to be high status can get….while also understanding how invisible average men can feel at times. The sad part is that these women are victims of their own device. Playing a game of musical chairs where most of them are going to be left without a chair when the music stops.
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  32. Sometimes. Or she honestly didn’t know better, and is trying to minimize what she did to soothe your feeling, and save face on her own part. But yes. Correct the behavior, and remind her where the boundary is. A good woman who made a mistake will respect you more for not tolerating her behavior. The toxic ones will double down…push back even harder….and now you know what you’re dealing with and can act accordingly.
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  33.  @lorrilewis2178  When you don’t understand the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness. When you don’t understand the difference between defending one’s personal integrity, and combativeness. Many women don’t, and they engage in behaviors that would get a man engaging in them called a litany of swear words. “I’m strong and independent!” No, you’re just being a jerk in a society where calling women out for acting like jerks is considered “misogyny”. 🙄
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  34.  @BB-te8tc  None of that has anything to do with coffee. That’s someone who hasn’t gotten over their ex and has no business even dating… In fact coffee dates could lessen the length of time you get used to play your date’s therapist….
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  35.  @0rnery0verwatch  They were more mature in years past. Just not these days. You have a lot of 30-somethings who still move through the world like angry, entitled 15 year-olds.
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  36.  @lorrilewis2178  Stop seeing things in black-and-white, 0-or-10 fashion. Biology matters. Personal psychology matters. Social and family conditioning matter. Each person is a complex mixture of all three. So are group dynamics. The problem is when you try to dismiss or minimize the impact of one…and exaggerate the importance of the other. Feminism’s failure is that it wildly exaggerates the importance of family and social conditioning (the patriarchy) while minimizing the importance of individual psychology (responsibility, repetition compulsion from unhealed trauma). …and trying to ignore the biological. While 65 million years of mammalian evolution is laughing hysterically at the notion that 5000 years of civilization has somehow made our biology irrelevant (rather than simply inconvenient). Yes. You see those numbers. But they exist in the context of a society where 50% of marriages end in divorce. Eighty percent of which are initiated by women…ninety percent if she’s college educated. So we have a society where the dissatisfaction of women in marriage seems to be INCREASING as they take on more responsibility for leading family. Because our ideology (how things should be) has run afoul of the biology of intersexual dynamics (how things actually are). What her head wants is in conflict with what her gut/heart (instincts) want??
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  37.  @kenyanicholas6809  She isn’t. You—and many other women—-don’t understand at a gut-level the difference between a stereotype (which is always wrong) and a group dynamic (which is usually correct). So you are personalizing her comments on a group dynamic and reacting as if it were a stereotype. Group dynamics speak in broad terms, and have plenty of room for individual variation. Stereotypes don’t. I use the analogy of watching Wildebeests migrate. If you hover above them there is a way undeniable group dynamic. There is a herd..and that herd is moving in a very clearly definable direction. But zoom in…and not every wildebeest at any given moment is moving in the same direction as the heard. There is BOTH a clear group level behavior AND there is individual variation. But whenever you try to discuss these group dynamics with women, the tend to become very reactive and they instantly personalize and ASSUME you are stereotyping. What every heterosexual man quickly learns is that there is a disconnect between what women say they want….and what they actually attracted to. Sadly most women are blind to this dissonance. As one creator puts it, “What makes them happy is not the same as what makes them h*rny.” I realized that 20 years ago, and that if you wanted peaceful, functional relationships with women you needed to take what most of them say (determined by their feelings of the moment, or what makes them look good in the eyes of others) with a grain of salt….but closely watch what they do and what they respond to (who they really are, and what they actually want). If you WATCH how women behave, MOST women become more and more unhappy, the more leadership in the relationship they wrestle away from man. Because they lose respect for, and attraction to that man. (He’s like another one of my kids….). Plus they struggle with coping with the stress that comes with that responsibility. The irony is that a lot of men are happy to be rid of that stress, so they hand it over without much of a fight. In short these women typically want the freedoms they see that have traditionally been reserved to men…but resent the RESPONSIBILITIES that go along with them…and the world doesn’t work that way. They are a PACKAGE DEAL. Why is why society is starting to become more and more dysfunctional. If you give those same women a man that they truly admire and respect? They soften and happily accept his leadership. That was the first thing that struck me when I first heard my sister talk about the man she ultimately married…there was this tone of admiration in her voice that hadn’t heard in YEARS when she spoke of a man. My reaction was, “Wow, this is different.” He leads with a gentle and respectful hand, and she is happy as a clam. Been married going on 4 years and that admiration is still there. Because she isn’t trying to change him or turn the relationship into a power struggle.
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  38.  @Vannabee13  Again. Distinction where there shouldn’t be a difference. We all find more people attractive than we’d want a long term relationship with. So there is a natural sorting that goes with the dating process. But men do not mislead women as to what we consider attractive. Whereas misleading men about what women find attractive has the benefit of keeping men in her orbit based on the “possibility” of sex, who would otherwise move on and give that time, attention and resources to another woman. It’s an effective—if underhanded—-strategy. No different than a man stringing a woman along with sex in the vain hope of relationship (situationships).
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  39.  @Vannabee13  Thank you for telling me what I learned on my own decades ago. I stopped listening to what women say about love and sex, and I simply watch what they do. Their actions speak the truth. But the fact is that women—-as a groups—have numerous strategies that are geared towards gaining resources from men. Namely, time, attention, food, money, services, etc. Unless you have dated women and been on the receiving end of them, you just don’t get it. Some women it is probably intentional, for others, I believe it is instinctual and they aren’t even consciously aware they are doing it. Like you seem to be where misleading men about what women want is concerned. Misleading men is an effective mating strategy because men will try to deceive women about having those attributes. So it prevents men from gaming the system and leaving women vulnerable to that deception. Therefore making it easier to identify those men who genuinely have those traits.
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  40.  @ShimmerBodyCream  You just made my point for me. That it’s not in a woman’s self-interests to give a straight answer. Especially to a man she does not find attractive. “When you want to see a woman’s true nature? Watch how she treats a man who she feels has nothing to offer her.” Oh, and I’m not chasing anything. I’m just revealing the game for what it is, and that men can save themselves a lot of headaches by plugging their ears and instead opening their eyes. Women’s actions reveal the truth.
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  41. Not necessarily. Sometimes women simply want the dopamine hit of being made to feel attractive by an attractive/high-status man. So they may simply want you to flirt back, not have an affair with them.
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  42.  @Vision-dd8fl  Sounds familiar….and you did the right thing. Someone like that is emotionally damaged…and the behavior never gets any better unless there is a LOT of therapy involved. In fact—-without help—their bad behavior often escalates. Especially if they start to feel secure in the knowledge that you will tolerate it from them.
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  43.  @popejaimie  “But whatabout!!” Stay on the topic or stop posting to me. I’m not here to answer for everything some broken man with a broken character has ever done. Want better men? CHOOSE BETTER.
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  44.  @TheColourSplat Yes. A leader has a responsibility to be a good leader…and there are no leaders without followers.
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  45.  @lorrilewis2178  Missed the point completely. The individual woman that I’m speaking of is just an extreme example of how a lot of women handle conflict: shifting blame. Instead of simply apologizing, she tried to rearrange reality so that she was no longer responsible for her own actions. As is what you’re doing, in trying to muddy the waters and distract from the issue being discussed: “Well whatabout…” A red herring, and not relevant to the point I’m making about group dynamics.
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  46.  @Vannabee13  The problem isn’t that I don’t understand. The problem is that I DO understand what is going on and WHY it is happening. Misleading men reduces the chances of a woman being deceived about those attributes she finds attractive. Thus making it easier to identify those men who have them (better signal-to-noise ratio), and protect the investment women make in bearing and raising a child. IOW, the cost associated with choosing a poor partner is significantly higher for women than it is for men. So women have developed a number of safeguards against picking one (from an evolutionary standpoint). Which is why so many women pick the men they find attractive (good genes)….and then try to turn those men (so often unsuccessfully) into “relationship material” (stable parental investment). This is pure evolutionary psychology.
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  47.  @BB-te8tc  Then you aren’t really interested in the person. Which is exactly what a coffee date is supposed to expose. It’s not a flex to refuse such a date. It’s telling on yourself…
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  48.  @josealexi5141  No. That’s not how I roll. I’m old school. I won’t report you for yelling at me. Put your hands on me in a manner that is disrespectful? Different ball-game. She left a few weeks after that anyway. She’s someone else’s problem now.
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  49.  @popejaimie  No. But your welcome to keep trying to get out of the corner you’ve painted yourself into. I won’t be letting you out of it. Not will I be taking ownership of your baggage. Deal with it.
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  50. The difference on masculine vs feminine psychology. Men know they are disposable and carry a burden of performance. So if we don’t get the results we want, we try to figure out how to get better at the game. Many women do the opposite. When they don’t get what they want, they cry out their distress in an effort to get the game changes so that they get the results the want. But as women step into more roles that are traditionally male, that tendency becomes more dysfunctional. Because the stability of the society as a whole comes into play.
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  51.  @ShimmerBodyCream  Smh. The more you dig in the more you make my point for me. This isn’t quantum physics. This is simply a man asking a woman what it is that attracts them sexually/romantically to a man…and you can’t get a straight answer. Layer…upon layer… upon complexities. To what is a simple question. My point is that is not in a woman’s BIOLOGICAL self-interest to give men a straight answer to this simple question. Because muddying the waters gives women the most power and the most maneuvering room. As a group you do it instinctively.
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  52.  @manher4335  Yep. Right on target. I had realized that about her before. A real powder keg of anger, and low-key disrespectful behavior. Just never imagined that she’d completely lose it in reaction to a really innocuous compliment. I want even after anything, I was literally just making small talk and wanted to be nice. Only to have her go off like a malfunctioning nuke. I think she eventually realized that she’d made a complete @ss of herself. Because the next time I saw she was MUCH nicer than she typically was. I didn’t care either way because I knew I was dealing with someone damaged.
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  53. The power of mindfulness.
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  54.  @popejaimie  In an asylum without walls, sanity sounds like madness. Keep trying. The more you insult me, the more you prove my point with your behavior….
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  55.  @parrotshootist3004  I find the hypocrisy between “I’m strong and independent”…and “I need to be protected from the stress of adult life”? Both fascinating and sad. Especially when they don’t see how utterly irrational it is. It’s like watching an 8 year old claim that something is unfair simply because it didn’t give them the result they wanted. But no, I call that behavior you’re talking about, “weaponized victimhood”.
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  56.  @ShimmerBodyCream  I think it reflects a lack of self-awareness at best. Disingenuousness at worst. One, why would you date someone you aren’t attracted to? Two, why would you not find someone who has the qualities you say you want attractive? As a result men are forthright about what they find attractive in a women, while when you ask women you get this guessing game. And their friend zones pile up with guys who think they have a chance because the women want time and attention from them. But without being honest that they don’t because they aren’t considered attractive.
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  57.  @theBear89451  No, I haven’t. It is impossible to have a victim’s mindset (identity) WITHOUT an external locus of control. If you don’t have a mindset that life is something that happens TO you rather than something you DO, it is impossible to feel that others have more control over your life than you do. Now the flip side of your argument is codependency and fused relationships. Thay external locus of control is the foundation of a lot of unhealthy relationship dynamics.
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  58.  @DeltaV64  She’s not smart enough to reason it out that far…
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  59.  @0rnery0verwatch  Yeah, I’m even running into the occasional 40-something who still behaves that way? 🤷🏾‍♂️
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  60.  @popejaimie  Right, triggered. Go sell that to someone who doesn’t know any better.
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  61.  @dappiduck  Pre-selection. That ga t that you had proof that another woman was willing to bear his child and he values that child raised his status and attractiveness in your eyes.
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  62.  @elizabethmansfield3609  “How do you tame a horse? You give it lots of room, and then you watch it. Make the area too large and it will not feel safe. Make the area too small and it will chafe at the confinement and knock down the fences. The area has to be the right size so that the horse does not feel confined, but can also feel the watchful eye upon it.” ——Zen aphorism. “Freedom is found from within structure.” —-Zen koan. Thank you for agreeing with me. I have a brother-in-law that leads my sister in the same way. She doesn’t feel confined, but she is always under his watchful, protective eye. You can feel it around him. It was one of the first things I noticed about him. The zone of quiet, calmness he created around himself…and how he is always quietly watching. Like a shepherd. His leadership is so skillful that you only notice it when you look closely and look for it. That’s what good leadership looks and feels like.
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  63.  @Underachiever_Files  Yes, but you can call out the immaturity of men without the “M-word” getting thrown in your face, or getting cancelled by an online mob. You don’t get this attitude of “How dare you hold me accountable.”from men as a rule. Or this sense they should be free to do as they please and never experience any consequences…
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  64.  @annaandrea8320  True. The point is that men tend to be way more forthcoming about what attracts them to women than the other way around. Unless you understand that women only start looking at character once their attraction triggers have been met, men can easily be misled into thinking that women find character attractive. Which is why I tell guys to not listen to what she says, but to watch what she does instead.
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  65. Actually the sixth sense is in knowing how to effectively avoid any healthy ones.
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  66. Hint: What are your parents (or whoever you were closest to growing up) like? What traits about them—both very good and very bad—-stand out in your mind? Understand that, and I’ll bet you’ll start to see a pattern emerge in the type of person you are attracted to. As well as those who you are not. As for the physical features you’re describing? Height, symmetric face, fitness, confident, assertive? That’s our biology talking. Those are all makers of good genes, good health, and a man that is like to be able to provide for and protect a family. Which is not the same as someone who is likely to make a satisfying partner in a long term relationship. But thank you for being honest. In my experience, many women are in the same boat you are. They are unaware of the disconnect between what collection of traits they say they want in a long term partner, and those found in the men they keep finding themselves attracted to. Which is why I say to not listen to what a woman says she wants. Watch and see who she is drawn to. Her actions will reveal the truth.
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  67.  @olafweyer859  It means you don’t take responsibility for her happiness or compromise your dignity or core values. IOW, you don’t put her on the proverbial pedastal. It won’t make her happy (that’s her job) and she’ll often lose respect for you even attempting it. That doesn’t mean you won’t be her cheerleader or be there to help or to pick her up when she stumbles. You just don’t do what she needs to be doing for herself.
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  68. “What is drama but Life with the dull bits cut out?” —-Alfred Hitchcock. Healthy relationships are boring. People of sound character are predictable. They do what they say. They say what they mean. They are consistent and principled. So people who insist that relabe “exciting” are deliberately choosing people who are inconsistent, unpredictable and unstable. Then get frustrated and upset when this results in poor treatment …and get mad when other people point this fact out to them. All men are not toxic. Some women just desire them. “Your problem isn’t that you keep meeting alcoholics. Your problem is that you keep giving them your phone number. “ ——Al-Anon..
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  69. Because it was an adolescent understanding of freedom and equality…that still hasn’t grown up yet.
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  70.  @EMO_alpha  With so many people going out after meeting on dating apps? That is the sensible approach to avoid wasting a lot of time and resources at best….or getting ruthlessly taken advantage of at worst. You don’t know this person, so it makes no sense to expend a lot of resources on a first meeting. Anyone who disagrees with that is more interested in getting at the resources than actively getting to know the person. Red flag.
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  71.  @popejaimie  Swing and a miss. One of my longest running friendships is with a woman. Try again.
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  72.  @Level_Eleven  They are trying to rationalize what is a common mating strategy.
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  73.  @annaandrea8320  Thank you for making my point. There are a number of different mating strategies that humans use, that you see analogs of in other species. These mate selections are only a “problem” because we no longer live as the hunter-gathers that we did for most of the 4 million years of our evolution. A world where half of all children died before the age of 5, and maternal mortality during childbirth was very real, and there was no contraception. So mate selection was about SURVIVAL and effective procreation…not “happiness” or “love”. Those are higher order needs that only become relevant once our survival needs are met. So women evolved to have a strong preference for traits that bespoke good genes (hotness), and then someone who would be a strong provider and protector. Only—like in modern American pro athletes—-men with those traits may not necessarily be very nice people to be around. But a million years ago, niceness was a luxury that few could afford. Whereas civilization has created a different environment that selects for different traits.
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  74.  @SageWords2027  Again, slicing the salami very thin. We all can be attracted to people we don’t like, as well as like people that we aren’t attracted to. But when a guy asks a woman what they find attractive in a man they are looking for those traits that are both sexual and relationally attractive…and men NEVER get a simple, straight answer to the question. The fact that they don’t keeps men in the dark about what women want, and gives women the greater power in the process.
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  75.  @Strike-w6k  Agreed. Hypergamy has had all the traditional guardrails taken off of it. So now, what used to be a very effective strategy to pick the best mate available from a limited number of local options, has morphed into a monster where you have women that feel they “deserve” the best male possible without any regard as to why that man would pick her or what she has to offer him in return besides sex and companionship…. …which every woman has to offer. So the math stops matching. If all women want the top 10% of men, then most women need to “settle” (get realistic about assortative mating). Otherwise, 90% of women will find themselves with lots of cats. Because they we’re left without a chair when the music stopped. So these days you have obese young women insisting “I’m a 10.” Blind to the fact that it is the men who get to decide their attractiveness to men…and guys (especially guys with options) aren’t going to grade on that kind of a curve.
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  76. Bull’s eye. That list of traits are what they want…in the men the find attractive. Not what they find attractive in a man. First get the good genes…then work to get the relational investment from him.
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  77. Because we’ve offered power without responsibility. Freedom without risk or consequence.
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  78. Exactly. The only difference between excitement and anxiety is the anticipated outcome.
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  79.  @James-pl5uc  I didn’t say they were necessary. I just said they make the approach easier…and less anxiety provoking. Women do send out choosing signals. Most guys just miss them, or lack the skill/confidence to follow up on them. The real issue is that people spend so much time interacting with devices and dating apps that they lack the skill and confidence to approach a person out in the wild. Guys don’t can’t approach or build confidence. Women don’t know how to flirt, or how to let a guy down easy if she’s not interested. There has been an erosion of people skills. At the end of the day, it’s easier to fish where the fish are. Instead of just throwing your line in the water and hoping a fish just happens by.
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  80. Which is why so many of them are alone…or unable to find a commitment because they’re sharing the same men. That guy is maybe one guy in a thousand. Especially if you age or ethnic preferences. So that one guy has tons of women throwing themselves at him. So the vast majority of women will have to “settle” (get realistic about their own attractiveness)….or make themselves content with fur babies.
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  81.  @kenyanicholas6809  Yep. If you want a committed relationship, a man has to pick you. So it’s an “insult” that shows how twisted you own world view is. But I remember when feminism was about empowering women with the freedom to choose. Not trying to shame them into conformity. Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss….
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  82.  @MOMO-m0m0  Whenever someone says the word “but”, IGNORE everything they said prior to that word. Everything prior to it is what they think you want to hear (or will make them look good), what comes AFTER that “but” is the truth of what they think or feel. Your gut was right. It was not a sincere apology and she was telling that she didn’t feel that she owed you one. She was just offering up a lame excuse for why she wouldn’t do it. What to do? Realize that she doesn’t respect you, and lacks the maturity/integrity to genuinely apologize when she’s wronged someone…then act accordingly. In my case, that means I walk and don’t look back. YMMV.
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  83.  @Strike-w6k  Which is why you don’t waste time asking questions where you encourage someone to lie to you. Or where you know you’ll never get a straight answer. If you have the traitsz she finds attractive, her actions will let you know. It’s not in her interests to tell you what they are. Just like it’s a waste of time asking a woman how many people she’s slept with. You won’t get a straight answer on that either. Again, plug your ears, and watch what she does. Her actions will tell you what you need to know about her.
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  84. They either get even angrier…or they get confused.
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  85. Men are conditioned to sacrifice themselves for others, and to deny their feelings. At age 28 I had everything I was TOLD I should want…but I was miserable and suffering from a major depression. Why? Trying to run from my family demons had finally exhausted me…. …and I had scrambled up the ladder of success, only to realize it was up against the wrong wall. My voice that told me who I was and what I wanted for myself had been silenced…then commandeered to serve the needs of others. I was living the life they wanted and needed from me. Not what I wanted and needed. So the wheels eventually fell off. I was fortunate enough to have it all fall apart early enough to course correct…then start to face down the demons. But other men go much longer and farther on in self-denial and lack of self-care before the facade finally cracks.
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  86.  @xxczerxx  it’s neither unless you are trying to get a woman to do something that is not in her best interests. Otherwise it’s just understanding how human courtship works. She’s going to choose based on how she feels rather than what she thinks…. …and that is precisely what Mother Nature wants her to do.
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  87.  @Cee_Eff  “The central tenet of the human drama is: The Whole World Must Change So That I Can Stay The Same.” —-Eckhadrt Tolle. You’ll die waiting for women to change their nature. You can choose to sit out the game…or learn how to play it better. Approaching women is like being a hitter in baseball. Even the best fail more than they succeed. But skill and knowledge reduce the odds of failure and increase the odds of success. …and yeah you have to have the qualities and skill to capitalize on her interest.
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  88. So is the notion that you will find everything you need in one magical person. In years past we used to live with extended family in long-standing communities. So we were able to get our needs met through a network of relationships. Instead of insisting they be provided by a single person. Which is an impossible burden to put on someone who has their own life and their own needs.
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  89. It can be explained. It just takes time, experience and self-awareness to be able to do it. I grew up with an emotionally abusive mother. So I find myself getting the “tingles” around women who put out a vibe of anger. Either someone who will express it explosively, or someone who shows it by being cold and withholding. So at this stage of my life, that “feeling” is actually a warning to move away, rather than move closer. The healthier relationships that I have the attraction is quieter and grows over time as a slow boil. In short, many of us feel a strong pull to people who have traits similar to the parent or caregiver that we had the most difficult relationship with. It feels like “home” and what we were taught “love” was. For better or worse. That is why that kind of rapid attraction is not a choice. But it is also not something we are required to listen to.
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  90.  @lashedbutnotleashed1984  No. men who keep finding themselves with toxic women are drawn to them. Just like women who keep finding themselves with toxic men are.
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  91.  @Captain_MonsterFart  Same. It’s kind of dehumanizing, really…
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  92. Thanks. I needed to be reminded of this today. I call it The Cosmic Joke: The World Has Nothing To Give You…That You Aren’t Already. I think that is what Lord Buddha realized under The Bodhi Tree. All the world has to offer are experiences and opportunities to express who you are. Love is a gift given. A decision to care for someone else’s wellbeing as much as your own. The problem is that what most people think of as love is actually Pleasure. So once the interaction stops being fun and stops feeling good? They’re out and back to the chase for those good feelings.
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  93. Yes. Because I became MGTOW years before there was a name for it. I looked at the landscape of women available to me as a male professional…and none of them were appealing. None of them had the character I wanted in a mother of my children, or brought anything to the table that made my life better. All I was getting was headache, heartache, chaos and drama. The juice wasn’t worth the squeeze. How did we get here? Simple. Feminism wanted the power and freedom of men…but none of the stresses or responsibilities that went with that role. One of which is: The higher your status, the more likely you are going to have to marry DOWN if you want a partner. Because the math doesn’t work any other way. But so many women engage in magical thinking so they act as if there is an endless supply of high-status men…and that they “shouldn’t” have to compete for access to them. That’s as absurd as a guy thinking that he can sit on a couch all day playing video games and the supermodels should just “love and accept him” as he is. Yeah…right. Let me know how that works out for you… Women are slowly waking up. They are starting to understand that part of what they want to call “the patriarchy” involved men SHIELDING women…especially affluent women…from many of the harsh realities of life. So out they go into the world… they get their bag…and now they are looking around wondering where are all the things I was promised that went along with it. Sorry. You became the man you wanted to marry, only to find out that you now have few—if any—of what he wants in a wife. Why would I want to work 60-70 hours a week, only to come home and get into a power-struggle with some who thinks I should be doing just as much housework. Even thou she’s working 20-30+ fewer hours than I am OUTSIDE the home. Women want modern when it works to their benefit…and tradition when that works to their benefit….and that is a raw deal for a man. Because it means all of the responsibilities that went with the traditional male role, but with none of the powers and privileges that went with it. Naaah. I’m good…
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  94.  @palomadare9960  No. The problem is that I’m sane in a land where crazy is the norm….
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  95. Should is predictive of the future, not reconstructive of the past. That makes a lot of sense.
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  96.  @CoramDeo1977  He’s right. Men tend to arrange themselves in hierarchies. Women tend to organize themselves in circles. Circles are great for strengthening relationships between t are wildly inefficient at getting things done. Hierarchy is very efficient at getting things done, but can be rough on personal bonds. “Because I said so!” Generally doesn’t go over very well.
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  97.  @annaandrea8320  I don’t speak meme. Make your point…
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  98.  @Strike-w6k  Because, before modern times, it was of survival value to any group to optimize the reproductive strategies of its female members. More, stronger, healthier children. But now that the traditional safeguards on this have been removed it’s starting to cause more problems than it’s solving.
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  99.  @annaandrea8320  It’s not a contradiction. It’s a recognition that the 4 million years of living in the wild have had more of an impact on mate selection than 5000 years of civilization. What are “bad” characteristics in a mate in a safe, industrialized Europe with contraception, state-sponsored health-care, plentiful food and energy (all your survival needs can easily be met) are not the same as those living in the wild where you will have to bear three children just to see one survive to adulthood. And the only food you will get is what food you can gather, grow, hunt…and defend from predators and bandits. In that setting, a make a poor mate choice and you and your children either starve because you can’t find enough food or can’t prevent it from being taken away from you.
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  100.  @NordicHyperborean  Daddy issues and a craving for male attention. For women like that the need for attention is almost an addiction…and getting it from one man will never be enough.
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  101.  @FlorinGN  You just have to be willing to pay for it (therapy).
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  102.  @mtlicq  It’s only a trap if you’re dealing with a woman who is damaged goods. She’s doing you a favor by showing you her brokenness up front.
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  103.  @Yalbou  No all relationships start from cold approaches. Those meetings are the hardest to pull off. Choosing signals are important to learn because they are markers of attraction. They show that she’s either into you…or what you are doing is working. If you NEVER see them? You either aren’t paying attention, don’t know what to look for…or have more work to do on yourself.
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  104.  @AkosM  Some of it is cultural (African-American women tend to be standoffish in their dealings with men) but most of it is biologic….and men simply miss them rather than women not sending them.
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  105.  @logan_wolf  It’s why you be nice to everyone…but be selective about who you approach. Piss off the wrong woman and she’ll actively try to sabotage your efforts to get with anyone else. Had that happen to me in grad school. This woman that every just kind of understood had a few screws loose, took an undesired interest in me. In that kind of situation, I just play dumb. Women expect you “not to get it”…so you just play to their expectations. They eventually get frustrated and stop. But they don’t get mad because you haven’t rejected them directly. You’ve given them a face-saving explanation for your lack of interest. But not this woman. When she found that I was trying to get with a classmate? She LIED about me to try to sabotage the “competition”. I had no clue what was going on behind my back until the classmate eventually became my girlfriend. So told me what had happened and why she had suddenly backed off. Though I was confused, I had let her go and didn’t chase after her. Thinking, okay, maybe I misread things. She eventually realized that what I was doing wasn’t matching up at all with what this other woman was telling her…so she circled back.
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  106.  @ickorling7328  Feelings make useful servants but terrible masters…
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  107.  @Dru2maBoii  Game isn’t going turn someone into Brad Pitt or Leonardo DiCaprio. But the harsh reality is that there are very few male “10s” out there. So the rest of feminine humanity will have to go with other options. Fortunately, for us guys, the calculus of attraction is more complex for women than it is for men. We are purely visual. If she doesn’t hit a minimum beauty standard for us, we just aren’t going to be interested. For women, appearance is one factor. But so is status, and “game”. Game is how men can demonstrate that we are a “good genetic bet” through behavior rather than just appearance. Are we skilled socially (“smooth”)? Are we intelligent? (good protector, provider, good genes). Are we creative (another form of intelligence)? Are we funny? Humor if a quick-and-dirty way to screen for intelligence, creativity AND social skill. It takes all three to negotiate the rhythm, timing, creativity and social acumen to make people laugh without offending them. Are we comfortable in our bodies, or are we awkward or clumsy. (This where athletes come in) So game can shift you a couple of points in attractiveness, but it won’t work miracles. But you also have to remember pre-selection. Even if a woman won’t date you, her showing interest in you in other ways will often draw the attention of women who will be willing to.
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  108.  @Dru2maBoii  Stop moving the goalposts. I’ve already answered that question, and that is not how attraction works in the real world. Your spouting black pill dogma that is just excuse making to rationalize away having to make the effort to improve your life. Build a good life, and a woman will show up looking to move in.
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  109. Disagree on the teasing part. Teasing is a legitimate part of female game. USED PROPERLY, it is flirtatious while also stength(💩) tests a man’s confidence. IOW do you laugh and enjoy the banter or get insecure and butthurt? The problem is that many women have LOUSY game. So the teasing comes off as sarcastic, demeaning, or disrespectful totally…or they don’t have a grasp of wher the line between edgy and offensive is. So they “hit below the belt” and become offensive without intending to. One, we as guys need to recognize when she is disrespectful by accident…and kindly correct that…versus when she’s being malicious. Two. It works to our advantage to create an environment where she knows where the boundaries are…but is free to play with in them. Dealing with a female colleague right now whose idea of flirtatious banter is the verbal equivalent of three rounds of full-speed boxing. One day she said something that was flirtatious but just insulting…and I got mad. OMG, the hurt look on her face. She looked at me like I’d just told her that I didn’t love her anymore. That’s when I realized that what was going on was a really emotionally aggressive flirtation. Now I deal with her by just calmly deflecting or redirecting the verbal shots…and when she says something that’s over the line? I just calmly and kindly correct her and remind her where the boundary is. One, she LOVES it. Two, it’s good practice for me in keeping my ability to calmly disarm a b****y woman sharp. TLDR: Teasing isn’t always a problem. It’s a problem if it isn’t done playfully. It isn’t done WITH respect for what is not offensive…and WHERE it is done. The issue is some women lack the social skills and finesse to navigate these waters…and some are just toxic and are simply weaponizing their sense of humor.
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  110.  @SallyChanArt  He isn’t picking a fight. You are. He called you out for the same tone I picked up in your post, and you are reacting by attacking him personally and in ways that have nothing to do with his point. I suppose I’m next? There has been no change in Psychacks tone, and his has only spoken truth about female nature. If you consider that “negative”? That’s on you. But I suspect the truth is that it was simply unflattering and you wanted it stopped. That mentality is part of why his channel exists. So many women these days simply are not open to any feedback that doesn’t make them feel good. Which makes it impossible to have any kind of substantive debate on difficult topics.
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  111.  @dappiduck  Right….
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  112.  @TGP109  No, because unless you are a single mom, that ultimate responsibility doesn’t fall upon a woman.
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  113. @user-uc7qb1su4e  One. Psychacks is what Red Pill looks like when you truly accept female nature and don’t ask them to be any different from who they are and how they are made. Two. He created the analogy to describe women and hypergamy. Cats are mercurial and the choose their human (The Cat Decides What Milk Is Good). He only later extended to cover me and rebutt women’s determination to try to dictate to men what we should find attractive.
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  114. Alex is Red Pill in its purest form: that there is a biologic component to human female mating psychology and strategies.
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  115.  @psychacks  I’ll look for it….
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  116.  @chelsy2255  I’m not playing a game. I’m just not willing to play my assigned role in the victim-drama you want to stage. Your life may not be what you want it to be…. …but as a man, that is not my fault. No matter how aggressively you try to shame me into taking responsibility for your life and it’s outcomes. Good luck. Whatever it was, I didn’t do it. So it’s not my fault.
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  117.  @daryna94  Yes. But that takes time, effort, and risk. Which—in an immediate gratification, risk averse world—-many people aren’t willing to do. So they take the easy road and just switch partners….or worse.
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  118.  @rayzerot  No, they don’t. Actual narcissists are rather rare.
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  119.  @JishinimaTidehoshi  Of course. The point is that men are far more forthright about how much appearance drives attraction for us. Do you really think Brad Pitt would have married crazy-sexy Angelina Jolie if she weren’t Angelina Jolie?? It’s why guys admonish one another about the dangers of thinking with the “little head” rather than the big one.
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  120.  @andrewjackson9697  Disagree. I think men have simply stopped holding women accountable in the name of equality. So certain women get away with incredibly immature behavior…and simply blame men for everything. There was this video (by a woman) I saw a few days ago that did a fantastic job of explaining something I realized years ago: Most very beautiful women are NOT very nice people. She nailed it. She basically said that very beautiful women are so used to endless attention and men falling over themselves to give them things…that they fail to grow up. Because the world never demands it from them…until the beauty starts to fade. So these women remain immature because it’s easier to replace people than to honestly relate to them…and it’s easier to replace people than it is to learn to accept the natural ebb and flow of relationships. IOW, He’s no longer exciting. Let me replace him with someone who makes me feel that excitement again. Whereas someone more average will be more incentivized to accept the process and work out problems.
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  121. No. The problem is that people, try to punch above their level of attractiveness. Especially women. So they try to wrestle relationships out of men who would have never gotten into a relationship with them had they met IRW, organically.
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  122. The problem is that women get confused as to who is the customer and who is the salesperson. They are terrible closers, because most believe that they are the CUSTOMER…and it’s the man’s job to sell himself to her. What she doesn’t get is that once she has given him access? She is no longer the customer. She is now trying to sell HIM on a relationship with her. The problem is that she typically thinks she is still the customer, so she stays fixated on trying to get him to meet her needs/wants…rather than trying to sell him on the idea of keeping her around. It’s why so many women get offended when you asked them what value they bring to a relationship (the table). They don’t know…and many of them don’t even really even “get” the question or its relevance… Because society has told them they are so inherently valuable that they feel that all they need to do is simply show up.
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  123.  @michaelangst6078  Not really. Operates just like the real world. They get protected from rejection in public…but not later on in private. When the “situationship” runs its course, and the guy gets bored and moves on. Bumble protects them from being approached by unattractive men…but at the price of having to risk that upfront rejection.
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  124.  @danielj3010  Women are still women.
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  125. That’s the test….and some people fail it. His point is that you’ll never pass the test at the top unless you prepare for it on the way UP. Because, once you’re there, very few people are going to have the stones to tell you “No.” The bigger problem are the people who have no interest in being told “No”. Like Joker they enjoy the chaos and being able to indulge their impulses.
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  126. “When they approach, we welcome them. When they leave, we do not pursue.” ——Ajahn Chah They only constant in life is change. Impermanence. Permanence is an illusion. The idea that you “need” anyone else because you grown attached, is also an illusion.
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  127.  @Volkbrecht  But that requires a woman to discipline her hypergamy…and have the ability to ignore the barbs of other women. A colleague of mine did what you suggested. Married her high school sweetheart who was a factory worker at an auto plant, while she went on to college and professional school. Which he helped pay for. He was everything many modern women claim to want. He supported his wife’s ambitions. He did the lion share of the work around the home to offset her greater work hours. My male colleagues? We welcomed him as one of us. He conducted himself honorably and played by the rules, so he earned our respect. Their wives? OMFG!! They were absolutely horrible to this man. They clearly felt that she’d married beneath her station…and they never missed an opportunity to show their disrespect for this guy. They were downright hateful… Which is why we guys say “Ignore what she says, and watch what she responds to.” And…”If you want to see what a woman is really like, watch how she treats a man who she feels has nothing to offer her.” Point: If a woman does what you suggest? Get ready for her friend to go after that guy and do their damndest to sabotage that relationship, “Get rid of him. You can do better, girl….”
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  128.  @SallyChanArt  Because it’s not true. We don’t care if it’s nice or not…. You’re just telling us about your own biases where he’s concerned. The only difference between this video and most of his content is that it’s specifically targeted towards helping women to understand men, as opposed to the opposite. I suspect you are just more comfortable with truth being spoken about men, than truth being spoken about women.
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  129.  @SallyChanArt  …and you have multiple disagreeing with you. “Tone policing” is usually a passive-aggressive means of control. Bottom line is that most of this content is directed towards men, and men speak to one another very differently than women do. We are direct and we prioritize accuracy and truthfulness of the other person’s feelings. Psychacks has a talent for being able to do both. To be kind, while also being y very direct and very blunt. If you are a woman, I doubt your issue is his “tone”. You’re just not used to men saying what they think to you that bluntly. Because men either try to avoid conflict with women. He isn’t.
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  130. Yep. Fits. My first GF in college sounds like the woman you described. The behavior she refused to change was her my-way-or-no-way attitude around getting her. She refused to compromise on anything. If it wasn’t what she wanted she just refused to cooperate or compromise. Only I didn’t escalate to anger (my issue at the time…hanging in there and setting boundaries). I left. But I did cheat on her once on my way out. I consider that an indirect and passive-aggressive expression of my anger. Not my finest moment….
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  131. “When they approach? We welcome them. When they leave? We do not pursue.” ——Ajahn Chah.
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  132.  @DBTwister  It was a bitterly sarcastic cherry….
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  133. Women make the mistake of thinking that men see the world the same way they do. So they think being treated as a casual fling…especially if they can manipulate something out of the guy—-is “getting over” on the guy. Uhh…no. Giving her a place to stay for the night is a small price to pay for no-strings-attached sex….and she’s marked herself as “not relationship material” in his eyes. So…more casual sex please? These are the women who wind up alone and confused as to why men treat them badly and won’t commit to them. Let’s see: They reward the men who treat them poorly with sex…and they turn off the guys looking for LTRs by not being selective about who they sleep with. (Having sex just so she doesn’t have to pay for a hotel or ask an actual friend for a place to stay? Seriously? 🤢)
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  134.  @chelsy2255  Take your own advice. You’re the one running around insulting random people online, and spinning feminists victim narratives, in an effort to make yourself feel better. Good luck. The seductiveness of victimhood is that nothing is ever your fault. But at the cost of giving away your real power to someone else. Taking responsibility reclaims that power over your own life. But at the cost of being able to wrap yourself in victimhood. If you don’t like your life…look in the mirror. Your choices and actions created it.
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  135.  @ShimmerBodyCream  Fair enough, and the data only speaks to a tendency when looking at a population from 35,000 ft. It isn’t individual destiny.
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  136.  @janick01ify  Everything comes with a price. If you marry for money, you will eventually earn every penny of it…. There are no free lunches to be had.
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  137.  @annaandrea8320  SIGN language. Shame. Guilt. Insults. And a Need to be Right. When you break out those emotional weapons it means that you are losing the debate on the merits and are resorting yo attacking the person in order to get them to shut up. Unfortunately, I have to actually care what you think of me for that to work. Sorry. Don’t care. Have a nice weekend….
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  138.  @kathyh.648  One because I think some women run on emotion and don’t really know what they actually respond to. Others find that what they are drawn to changes. Still others simply don’t want to give a straight answer so they gaslight people into thinking this is way more complicated than it is.
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  139.  @MVProfits  This…. Or if they wind up with more than one, they figure out that they are the one with the problem.
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  140. Because that usually doesn’t have to be stated. It’s just assumed….
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  141.  @BS_Profile  Oh he said it alright. Just being a trained therapist, he knows HOW to say it.
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  142. I think you overlooked a sixth option: Someone flips over the game board!! Large numbers of unpaired women leaves large numbers of unpaired men. Usually with little to no sexual access. Especially at the bottom of society. These men have less and less of a reason to support the social status quo. If women are allowed to increasingly turn themselves into a harem for those few top men? The more likely becomes an ugly backlash against female (sexual) freedom. Similar to what we have seen in some Islamic cultures in reaction to modernity and it’s values. That backlash is already starting. The reversal of Roe v. Wade. The kneecapping of Affirmative Action (the greatest beneficiaries of which were women). Hinting by the SCOTUS that they may go after contraceptive access…and the rewriting of divorce laws in some red states. Hypergamy evolved to function with a limited set of options. If women refuse to discipline that hypergamic impulse. Radicals and autocrats may impose that discipline upon them from the outside. 🙁
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  143. @ Disagree. That is not everyone’s definition of “interesting “. The problem is too much emphasis on how people feel and not enough on how they are treated. That emotional rollercoaster ends in healthy relationships…and ends the relationship in unhealthy ones. Because it’s painful and exhausting.
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  144.  @brianmeen2158  This. If she’s happy and reasonably healthy, emotionally? She’ll do these things without realizing she’s doing it. It’s part of the human dance of courtship.
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  145.  @elchucapablas  They don’t stop working. They point is that you can’t have everything, and if you try to hold out for it you’ll likely wind up with nothing. So if you want to be happy then you need to make yourself content with what matters most to you. Which two of the three are most important to you?
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  146.  @CFChristopherB  That’s what some Black Pillers seem to think.
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  147.  @psychacks  Or actually get to know them in the first place…
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  148. @ Disagree on that, unless you’re dealing exclusively with twenty- and early-thirty something’s…
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  149. Disagree. Game can make you more attractive. The problem is that it takes time, effort, and commitment to develop it….so many guys don’t want to put in the effort to figure out what game looks like for them. …and many young women lack the social skills these days to even appreciate game.
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  150.  @Dru2maBoii  No it doesn’t, but you’re free to keep telling yourself that it does, and keep moving the goalposts. So therefore it’s not worth the effort to build a good life. I come to accept that some people need to convince themselves that they have no control over their lives, because it absolves them (in their minds) of responsibility for what’s in them.
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  151.  @joeschlotthauer840  Yep. Height and income cut the field to basically 1-guy-in-100. By the time you factor in age, fitness, ethnic preference, personality? You’re either chasing a fairy tale…or youre looking for Tom Brady or Brad Pitt. Which is fine to want. But unless you’re Gisele or Angelina? You’re SOL and headed towards being a cat lady….
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  152. His tone hadn’t changed.
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  153. Yes it does. Especially when dealing with late Millennials and Gen Z women. Not only are they not respectful they are often outright contemptuous of men. A generation ago, if I had to deal with someone being needlessly rude and obnoxious? It was almost always a guy doing it. Today? It is almost always a woman under the age of 40. It seems to come from a place of narcissism and low emotional/social intelligence. Like they are the star of their own reality tv show and the rest of us are bit players who better not upstage her. It is TIRESOME. When I first heard of this movement I understood why it was happening immediately. Many American women are just insufferable PEOPLE, don’t even bother with gender roles or relationships. Plus—with part of this focusing on The Philippines—-my experience with most people that are either immigrants or descendants is that they are delightful people. Warm, friendly and kind-hearted. So someone wanting a Filipina for a wife makes perfect sense to me. They take pleasure in being women, not in trying to prove that she’s a better man than you are. 🙄 So yeah guys. Go where you are appreciated and ignore the haters. Their hostility and mocking disrespect is why you don’t want to deal with them.
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  154. Yes it’s a business. But you can’t have a successful business without a need in the market place. The way in which current feminism is off the rails and is no longer about true equality or agency (freedom plus responsibility)…and the lack of options with regard to speaking about it lest one get cancelled or fired (women are powerful but still need protection from themselves and others)? Has created that need and that marketplace. The issue is that one needs to vet what one hears in those spaces. Take what one needs…and leave the rest behind. What these spaces serve is the need that fathers, uncles and other make authority figures used to fill before our current dysfunction pushed them out of homes and out of children’s lives. So you are having people reach adulthood with no idea what to do in the face of masculine authority and no experience with how it differs from feminine power. So it all just gets labeled “toxic”.
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  155. Depends on how well you know the woman. She has to show her worth (character) before you invest in her beyond the basics. Anyone who is demanding more than that is interested in your resources and not in you.
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  156. The glass is neither half-empty nor half-full. It’s simply a half a glass of water.
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  157. The problem is that women will often get turned inside out because they try (sometimes for years) to “change” a man that they are physically attracted to into someone with the character traits they want..and it never works. Rather than picking the most attractive man they can find who ALREADY has those traits. It’s why men say—when wome complain, “where are all the good men?”—either “with the good women” or “In your friendzone”.
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  158.  @bestchannel4587  That is not what either of those are. Red Pill is simply the reality that women have a biological component to how the choose mates and behave in mating situations—-like every other female mammal for the last 65 million years. Red Pill understands that women respond to displays of fitness: height, strength, dominance, status, confidence, intelligence, creativity, humor (money, muscles, game and frame.) Black pill take how women behave in the unnatural environment of dating apps and try to generalize it to the real world: that women only respond to physical attractiveness. Black pill is also taken to by guys who usually lack the other traits (which can be developed) that women are drawn to. So it is just easier to believe that all of their troubles are due to being born unlucky. Alex is pure Red Pill. He is about the reality of female nature, what they are drawn to, and how they behave. He is not Black pill because he is upbeat, optimistic and has none of the fatalism and low-key bitterness that most Black Pillers carry around.
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  159.  @chelsy2255  Really? Say that to the men in prison. The men who acted out and wound up dead (sorry can’t…). The men who work shitty jobs for shitty pay, and come home every night to ungrateful, combative…and often disloyal wives. The men who stay in bad marriages because that’s the only way they can be a presence in their children’s lives….or he knows it’s not safe to leave them with her without his being a buffer between them and her behavior. It amazes me how often women consistently choose to give themselves to a small number of men of poor character (there’s just something about him…) as they chase excitement…. …then loudly complain about the predictable outcome of their very own choices. Why are you complaining that someone who is unpredictable turned out to be volatile or irresponsible? Hello?
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  160. I think that the danger is getting caught up in trying to get to please her with external things. I think that Bad Boys sink their hooks into women because what they get from him is ATTACHED TO HIM. She is chasing after something he never is willing to give her. I think the key isn’t to give her stuff to to be a puzzle that she can never quite solve. You are good to her…but you are also a mystery that she keeps finding new things with each layer she peels back. So if she leaves you…she loses YOU. Women want to know that you are a man that other women want…but that you chose her. That makes her feel good…and she’ll fight to keep that.
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  161.  @jth_printed_designs  …and greed is a bottomless pit. Which is why “Happy Wife, Happy Life” fails. You can’t give enough or do enough to make someone else happy. You will eventually run out of stuff. Thats Tarraban’s point. She’s eventually going to run out of toys she can collect. What I’m talking about is investing in your seas a person…and then letting her have the fun of going along for the ride of enjoying what you are becoming. Don’t confuse that for using her for sex and then forgetting about her until next time. That is not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about being such an interesting and dynamic person that she enjoys interacting with you everyday. Because she never gets to the point where there’s nothing new to learn about you or to experience of you.
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  162.  @annaandrea8320  Sure, and I will reply that I don’t care.
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  163.  @robskottland  or mendacity.
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  164.  @annaandrea8320  Wrong again. Gaslighter. 🙄
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  165.  @mikochild2  I question if you have met men at all. Straight men tend to be VERY clear about what they find attractive. Some are so specific that they can drill it done to specific physical traits and personality types. If you were getting straight answers from the men you were asking, I suggest that they were doing it to spare your feelings. Because they sensed that you weren’t asking in the abstract, but instead were trying to asses their level of interest in you….and they chose to let you down easy. Men are familiar with rejection so we are typical compassionate when we have to let a woman know that we are not intersex or they make a really awkward approach.
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  166.  @annaandrea8320  More gaslighting. You started that, and are now trying to project that onto me. You can either stop. Or I can mute you. Your choice…. Either way you’re going to get no more of my attention. I’ll be dealing with those who actually want to discuss this issue.
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  167.  @mikochild2  Sure. I always find the feminine norm fascinating to watch. Unless a man behaves like a woman he is either toxic, immature or insecure. Bad news. Men are not dysfunctional women. We are men…and we are different. Sixty-five million years of evolution speaks louder than 5000 years of civilization speaks louder than 50 years of cultural programming. We all have mating strategies programmed into our DNA. Some of us simply discipline them better than others. Both make and female.
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  168.  @Tushar_Talwar_09  Because she’s afraid I’m right and slander is all she has.
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  169.  @mikochild2  You just demonstrated it. You just called any man who didn’t respond to the question in the same way that a woman would “immature”. The femine norm is the assumption that the female experience is the default “normal” for the healthy human experience. So, to the extent that a man responds differently or sees things differently from what the average woman would, it’s deemed “toxic” or “dysfunctional”….or “immature”. (Inset pejorative of choice.)
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  170.  @roses6564  Yep. People with poor boundaries always see someone else’s healthy boundaries as a “violation” and a “unreasonable restriction” on their “rights”. They take their own shameless behavior and project responsibility for it onto others.
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  171.  @velvetbees  Yes. You are either a guy, or have spent a lot of time around us. Men are simple creatures. We need to know that what we do matters, and that it’s appreciated by those important to us. What so many women fail to realize is that we have these emotional needs, and that society punishes us for talking about them. So many women wind up being the architects of their own relationship problems. Endless complaints and criticism are the fastest way to make a guy shutdown and withdraw from a relationship. One of my favorite movie scenes involves angry wife confronting her husband about cheating on her: “She’s not younger than me. She’s not prettier than me. Why her and not me?!??” His reply, “Because she’s NICE to me!! She appreciates me.” You can see her wilt into stunned silence.
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  172.  @crystalcube-q3n  Nothing if that is what she truly wants, and what truly makes her happy. The problem is that this is not what most of them want (their words) and it is not making them happy. So pressuring women to be career women and childless is just as oppressive as pressuring them to marry and be housewives. Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss…
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  173. This. I don’t accept that she’s not aware that she’s doing it.
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  174. @ Should have stopped at the end of your first sentence. Everything else after that was you telling us about who you are…. If your boss treats you that much better than your partners, you need to examine your taste in them.
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  175.  @timgibney5590  Which is why you move slowly and you vet for character.
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  176.  @dojocho1894  It takes two yes’s to keep a relationship going and only one “No” to end it. All you can do is hold up your end of the bargain. If you honored you vows, that’s all you can do. Gone are the days when most people took them as a lifetime commitment. Most people see them only as pretty word for a nice party…and they are only agreeing to stay with you until they get tired of you or bored with you. You can’t force someone else to honor their commitments or take them seriously.
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  177.  @dojocho1894  That’s because status and resources are important to women..and well as confidence and “swagger”. What makes Brad Pitt “Brad Pitt” isn’t just his looks. It’s also his wealth. His fame (status), and the supreme confidence with which he moves through the world. Someone with his face… but without those other qualities would be a lesser man in the eyes of women. But with all those other things you have a package that very few women would say no to.
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  178.  @EE12CSVT  Thats only part of it. It’s his appearance (handsome). His status as a physician…and that physicians have to be effective leaders by the nature of what we do. Put all that together you get a package that starts pinging female radars. Take parts of it away…and female interests drops. Step out of the hospital..and your status is less clear (despite dressing well, nice car, etc…) female interest drops. It’s quite the window into seeing how women really are.
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  179.  @busybecomingmyself  A hit dog will holler….
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  180. Because they are a worthwhile lesson for those who are open to looking at themselves and their own behavior. These women are a negative example…
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  181. It’s isn’t society. It’s WOMEN. Unattractive men can improve on their situation somewhat by improving their wealth, status, and/or game. Other than improving their fitness, women are largely relegated to making the most of what they were born with… and it’s value in the mating game is time-sensitive. So women who lose the genetic competition, or can no longer compete against the younger version of themselves? Will resort to gamesmanship. They will try to shame you out of your needs and standards, so that you believe that what she can offer is the best you can do, or what you should want. They’ll also try to sabotage other women they see as rivals for the men they want. Don’t fall for the con. Nod your head, acknowledge that you heard them and keep moving.. Men when they are losing, will try to improve themselves so they can play the game better. Women will express distress in order to get the game itself changed so that they can have their desired outcome. Remember those same women who will try to shame you out of your standards, will be quick to get the ick, or trade you in for something better the second you stop meeting theirs. Don’t get taken in by the hypocrisy. Their standards are liberating. Yours are “discrimination” and “toxic”. It’s like trying to win in a casino where the house cheats.
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  182.  @vidard9863  Not everything you’re attracted to is good for you. You can be attracted to someone you don’t even like…and if you keep picking the same kind of person and getting the same painful results? Time to pick differently. I was in my 30s before I finally realized that I was habitually drawn to angry women, our cold-and-distant women…and that my bad track record was because of the women I kept choosing. They were different versions of my mother and my “complicated” relationship with her. If you want better results, stop letting “chemistry” be your guide.
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  183.  @josealexi5141  Yep. Which is why you need to learn who to read people quickly and stay as far away as possible from broken and/ or crazy ones.
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  184.  @derekkase7884  You do that being learning to do right because it is right. Not because you fear the consequences of doing wrong. Because those consequences can start to drop away if you are powerful enough. You’ll need to be able to tell yourself “No” because others won’t.
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  185.  @annaandrea8320  Nope. Just giving you ample room to prove the validity of my point with your behavior. Thank you. You’ve been playing checkers while I’ve been beating you at chess. Good bye.
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  186.  @Dru2maBoii  Yes he can if his game is strong enough, and the right kind.
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  187.  @Dru2maBoii  Yes, and game can do that. So can status.
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  188.  @Dru2maBoii  And game is part of what generates interest. You are trying to make this into something that is “all or nothing”, and it doesn’t work that way. Women aren’t like men. Looks matter to them.. but it is only a part of a number of other things they respond to. You’re watching too many doom-and-gloom BP videos. Walk into a room a woman’s friends and skillfully keep them laughing for 15 minutes? There’s a chance she’ll show interest in you where she wouldn’t have before. Because you’ve demonstrated intelligence, confidence, creativity and social acumen to her…shown a sense of rhythm and timing that suggests you might be a skilled lover…and won the approval of her friends. So your social status goes up in her eyes.
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  189.  @Dru2maBoii  And once again that is not how real life works. Brad Pitt was considered one of the “sexiest men in the world” because he was nearly a perfect 10 as men go. At age 58, despite aging gracefully, he’s a 7.5 or 8 at best. But he can still pull any woman he wants because what he has lost in handsomeness, he has gained in wealth and status. Despite have an arguably crazy baby-mama/ex-wife. Game isn’t magic. It won’t make you attractive to every woman. But money/status, fitness, and game can GREATLY expand the range of women who will find you attractive. But it takes time, effort, and talent to develop these..which is why women (and society) find them valuable.
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  190.  @Dru2maBoii  If you are a woman that is simply not true. Because game, status, wealth etc…can often make up the difference…or the lack of them can take you out of the running. There was an evo psych experiment. Where two auditoria of women were shown a picture and dossier of two men. One was a young attorney who had just made partner in a prestigious local law firm, and had been educated at elite schools (wealth, status, intelligence). Women were gushing about how attractive they found him. Another auditorium of women (same demographic) were shown the dossier of another man of the same age. Only he was a struggling actor and part-time chef at a local restaurant. The women were quite savage in their statements about how unappealing they found him. What’s the catch? Simple. THE PICTURES ASSOCIATED WITH THE TWO FICTIONAL LIFE STORIES WERE OF THE SAME MAN. When he’s a wealthy attorney with resources and status the women in the audience were practically drooling. When he was a struggling actor with few resources or future prospects? The women couldn’t turn up their noses fast enough. Same man. Same level of physical attractiveness. Radically different perceptions of his attractiveness. Men and women are DIFFERENT.
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  191.  @Dru2maBoii  I hate right fighters. You’re just going to keep sticking your fingers in your ears and insisting that you’re right because you’re right. You’ve wasted enough of my time.
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  192.  @arcotstyle  Actually not. Men are lied to by society (and most women). Hence the “red pill rage” when they finally realize that being “nice” doesn’t work. It usually gets you used, disrespected and taken advantage of. Because what makes women happy in long term relationships isn’t what makes a woman attracted to a man in the short term. Women are lied to because of the type of men they chase after. They all chase after a small number of men who have their pick of many women. So they don’t treat women well because they don’t have to. It’s too easy to simply replace you (very beautiful women do the same thing to men). They are also poor judges of male character and value the wrong things. Especially if there were few good male role models for them growing up. S they chase wealth, status, and physical appearance…and just expect that sound character will go along for the ride. Then get mad when it doesn’t. When it isn’t there because they never make it being there a priority, and are often repelled (boring!) by men who have it. Whereas men learn quickly that beautiful women are often not very nice people. They are often immature, and selfish. So men will happily pick a less physically attractive woman, in order to find better character and personality. The women who complain the loudest about “the lack of good men” refuse to do this. So they try to turn players into husbands while the good men pile up in their friend-zone. You get what you ask for…or some fraction thereof.
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  193.  @cosmictreason2242  It never stops. With healthy woman it slows down and loses its intensity. But the moment she starts to feel insecure…or unsure about you? It starts up again. Expect anything else, and you’re being unreasonable. If you get upset because you can’t teach a cat to sing? It’s not the cat who has the problem… The issue is “how does she respond” to being corrected and shown where the boundaries are. Does she push back…or does she accept the correction and use it to change how she interacts with you. My “boxer” does the latter. She loves to throw her punches, but when I quietly let her know that what she did was not okay? She stops doing THAT thing. In fact sometimes she over-corrects and I have to let her know that I’m okay with playing rough with her…as long as it stays within the lines.
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  194.  @beowulf_of_wall_st  1. You’re not my dad, so I don’t need life or career advice from you. 2. I’m a Gen Xer. So I’m from a generation that can balance the personal and professional.
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  195.  @beowulf_of_wall_st  Go find some other way to entertain yourself, child. I’m not your sitter. Just because you can’t balance the different ways of interacting doesn’t mean earlier generations couldn’t. Because we did…and still do.
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  196.  @beowulf_of_wall_st  I hear your mom calling you child. I’m done feeding you, troll. Give her the phone back….
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  197.  @beowulf_of_wall_st  Sure gaslighter. Whatever you say. 🙄
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  198. Biopsychsocial. Hypergamy is mainly biological. But you still have the psychology and social conditioning of an individual woman. You could be the best man on the planet. But if you don’t fit the template of her individual psychology and social conditioning? She’s not going to be interested. For one of the women I knew in college, it was Swedish tennis players. For another it was tall, dark-haired artists. When I pointed out all the other men who were interested in her (while she kept throwing herself at my 6’3” black-haired artist/musician roommate who barely knew she was alive)? Her response? “It’s never the right ones”. Women would rather futilely chase their template, than actually have a man who doesn’t match it actually love and care for them. So their rejection of you isn’t personal.
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  199.  @JoblessJoshua  It’s a joke because the light show of the world of form is so compelling that we seldom think to look within. Like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, we had the means to get back to Kansas the whole time.
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  200.  @JoblessJoshua  You’re not ready yet, and so I am not the teacher for you. That’s all.
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  201.  @JoblessJoshua  Careful what you wish for.
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  202. You have enough energy to be right or to be happy…but never at the same time. Choose being right where your core values and personal boundaries are concerned (frame). Choose being happy in other situations. Remember, you need to bring value to her life to… and that sometimes means dealing with her imperfections and inner demons. To a point….
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  203. Disagree. Accept that the biology is real, and screen for those people who can DISCIPLINE those impulses. Women get into trouble because they let their hypergamy and emotions run riot. Attractive women often fail to grow up because they don’t have to in order to get attention and validation…but then when their looks fade, no one wants to deal with a Karen that is unpleasant to be a around. Or they waste their youth chasing after men that will sleep with them, but will never marry them. Men get into trouble because the chase after beautiful women who have nothing to offer besides their looks, and tie their self-esteem to whether or not this person want to sleep with them or not. Your value as a human being is NOT equal to your desirability as a mate. If you want children? Play the game and play to win. Otherwise, understand the game for what it is and don’t let an insane, entitled, and superficial world tell you who you are. Because of Covid, and diet changes, I’ve dropped about 30lbs. As a result, I’m suddenly getting a lot more female attention. I’m not a better person. I’m just pinging their biological radar. But I’m not going to rush to get entangled with women just because more opportunities present themselves (one woman vying for my attention is quite married. No thank you…).
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  204. “When they approach, we welcome them. When they leave we do not pursue.” —-Ajahn Chah
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  205.  @nstar1372  The world has nothing to give you. Which is why you will be forever chasing after something you can never catch.
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  206.  @nstar1372  Unless you are a buddha or a saint, you are chasing something. The most dangerous lies are the ones we tell ourselves.
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  207.  @nstar1372  Nope. All the world has to give is experience. That experience only has the meaning you choose to give it.
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  208.  @nstar1372  Chasing leads to one’s detriment by definition. Chasing something implies that it has intrinsic value and that it can add to who you are. It doesn’t…and it is to one’s detriment until one realizes that truth.
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  209.  @nstar1372  Superficially, it may seem that way. In reality? No.
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  210.  @nstar1372  No, because what you experience is your own nervous system.
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  211.  @nstar1372  Yes. WHO is that cares….once you know the answer there is no need to chase…or pretend that you arent chasing.
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  212.  @popejaimie  Women also say men are jerks when they do things that don’t serve a woman’s interests…
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  213.  @popejaimie  Not the same. There is a difference between women in general, and a specific woman. Yes, men will engage in deception in order to gain sexual access, which is WHY it is a woman’s interest to not be forthcoming to men about what they find attractive. Especially someone who might engage in that kind of deception. But the real problem is that women are bad at telling the difference between sexual interest vs relational interest from a man. So too often they pour their energies into men who only want sex from them, while friendzoning men who would happy to be in relationship with them. As Tomassi said, women would rather have to share a winner than have a loser to themselves.
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  214.  @popejaimie  No I think you’re angry because you come off as bitter and resentful. Prepared to throw me in with whoever hurt you or taught you that the world can’t be trusted. I’m just setting a boundary and reminding you of the fact that I am not “them”, and I have done nothing TO you. Your issue is with them, not me. So I do not have to answer for what “they” did. Especially since you know nothing about me and are just filling in the blanks with your own bitterness. Oh, and by the way. Holding people accountable for the choices they make isn’t “blaming”. It’s being a grown up. We are all responsible for our actions, and the choices we make. Choose the action. Choose the consequences. Cause and effect.
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  215. Women have sec with who they want…and marry who will have them. Men have sex with who will have them, but marry who they want. So women often make themselves bitter trying to turn the man who would have them into the man she wanted. “The reason why wife is always mad is because you weren’t her first choice….” —-Chris Rock.
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  216.  @loryjones7220  No…again..that’s how women think. A man thinks, “If she gave it up that easily to me…who else has she done this for? I’m not that special. She’s not selective about who she sleeps with. So I’m not sure I can trust her to be loyal. Recreational use only….” What women fundamentally refuse to understand, is that a man you’re interested in having lots of access to other women makes him more appealing (he’s a catch!!) But to a guy, the idea of lots of other men having access to a woman he’s interested in (relationship wise) gives him the ick. He won’t make a big deal out of it. He’ll either just stop contacting you and ease his way out of your life. Or he’ll have sex, but never consider for anything more substantial. Doesn’t want her turning up pregnant with someone else’s kid and trying to convince him that it’s his….
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  217. @KingKull1971  No he isn’t. He’s more of a modern day stoic. He just reaches the same conclusion because his premise is that it’s our responsibility to adapt to the world’s demands….rather than the world’s to cater to our needs/wishes. Which makes you LOOK like you are some kind of radical because of how pervasive victim-identification is these days. Where people want power without responsibility and freedom without risk. World doesn’t work that way. Never has. Lastly, people take what he says out of context and don’t understand that what he says politically has to do with the situation in his native Canada. Which is trying to make political correctness a matter of law…and a literal crime if you say things that don’t align with the Progressive worldview.
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  218.  @a-t5380 low functioning/immature women do.
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  219.  @verastrejckova6175  Yet she was happy with the perks that came with that hard work! That is being a child: I want the dessert but I don’t want to eat the vegetables….
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  220. “If you’re going to pick a fight, pick one that is big enough to matter, but small enough to win. —-Beau of the Fifth Column. As Zen Buddhist for the last 25 years, the dharma practice within how you operate is clear to see for those who know what to look for. You do what is needed at that moment, with a clear eye towards reducing suffering. I see you as a Zen inspired (pragmatic) version of Ken Wilber. Whereas he tried to come up with a Theory of Everything, your approach is: How Do We Fix What is Broken. Like The Buddha, how do we solve the unnecessary suffering in a world that is lost in materialism? Your work is valuable mixture of Eastern wisdom, Western psychology, mindfulness, and engaging the world from compassionate non-attachment. Which red pill and sane-and-sensible intersexual dynamics are badly needed…and fit nicely. As an ideology that should have been a prescription (feminism) and discarded when it achieved it goal has now gone mad, and only exists to serve itself at this point. The World Has Nothing To Give Us…that we aren’t already are. Which is why the power that women are now extorting from men still leaves them unhappy and unsatisfied. Greed is a bottomless pit. You can never have enough of what you don’t really want. “When they approach, we welcome them. When they leave, we do not pursue.” —-Ajahn Chah.
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  221. What people desire isn’t always what is good for them. Ask any addict. Your value is not determine by whether someone desires you or not. It just means whether you fit into their conditioning or not. Which may be unhealthy and unreasonable.
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  222.  @marcusmcgraw3519  Life isn’t fair. First Noble Truth. Accept it. The point is she is doing what she feels is best for her. Do what is best for you and let her walk. At least she has the integrity (at this point) to tell you the truth of where her head is at. Better that than she stays with you and lies to you and cheats on you.
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  223.  @TheMCat11  No. His advice is to accept the reality of people as they actually are rather than make your self miserable demanding they be something they aren’t. There’s an old Al-Anon saying: Yes, alcoholics are drunk, unreliable and usually unpleasant to be around. That is the nature of their illness. But who has the bigger problem? The alcoholic… or the (codependent) who expects them to be different?” People are who and what they are. Accept it and move accordingly. Never be so online and so dependent on someone else that you can’t endure them leaving. Because even those vows won’t stop most people if they want out.
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  224. @ I’m no creating anything. You can either live life on Life’s Terms and live a relatively peaceful life…. …,or you can demand that Life come to you on your terms, and suffer unnecessarily. Because you don’t get to tell Life how to be, and you don’t get to tell other people how they should be and what they should feel. No matter how much you feel entitled to do so.
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  225. @ I’m not telling you anything except presenting you your options as determined by Life itself. You generally can be Happy or Right…but generally not both at the same. If you decide that it is more important to you to be Right, so be it. Just understand that you are choosing to be miserable, and in constant conflict with other people over “shoulds”. They don’t give a 💩 about your “shoulds” because they are chasing after their own. The Four Noble Truths: 1. Life is difficult. 2. We suffer because we become attached to things and conditions rather than accept Reality for what it is. 3. There is a way out of suffering. 4. That way is to accept the Truth, and Live Life on Life’s terms. (Eightfold Noble Path)
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  226. @ Okay? His point is that it’s in NO ONE’S interest to chase after someone who has made it clear that they don’t want you. Because it’s a lose-lose proposition. If she leaves anyway (which is most of the time) you humiliate yourself to no effect. If she comes back you wind up stuck with someone who doesn’t really want to be there and will likely drop you when the first better opportunity (in her eyes, not yours) presents itself. It’s an unwinnable game so the smart move is to simply not play.
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  227. @ Ah. Okay. Later….
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  228. @ Sure. Whatever you say. Later.
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  229. @ Assume whatever makes you happy.
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  230. @ Take the hint. We’re done here and I don’t care what you think the outcome is. There was no argument… and the fact that you seem to think there was is why it’s time for me to walk away from this…
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  231.  @brianmeen2158  Men are unhappy because of their effort to accomodate women. They are not asking for power without responsibility. They are just unwilling to shoulder responsibility without the power to do the job properly …and Nature couldn’t care less about our political ideologies. Just that they make for poor policies.
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  232.  @LisaMarie-eh7up  Who pays you? You submit to whoever signs your paycheck. Call it whatever OTHER word you care to use, but that is what you are doing in truth. Because if you don’t give that person what they want, they either fire you…or stop paying you. But it is this resistance to the very idea of submitting to ANYTHING—never mind male authority—is precisely what I’m talking about. You can’t run a complex society like a sewing circle….and if you try it falls apart. Because, while that circle works well for creating and maintaining relationships, it is wildly inefficient and ineffective at collective action (Nothing of value is ever done by committee).
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  233.  @lorrilewis2178  No we don’t. It’s just that women operate from an attitude that the way they do things and they way they see things is THE right way by definition. Which is being a jerk. Women have standards. Men just have “issues”. Actually had a woman hit me once, then tried to play it off as if it were my fault that she hit me. That’s how toxic women roll. Nothing is ever their fault,
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  234.  @LisaMarie-eh7up  ..and that’s the problem. The feminine norm. That tendency for women to be so self-absorbed that they insist that how they are and how they see things is the only right way…and that men only differ from that because we’re broken. Look around you. Everywhere you look you see Order. The Sun doesn’t rise in the East one day, and then n the West the next. That is the Divine Masculine. Your emotional nature serves to bond you to children, and with groups so that you are protected from threats. It has its advantages (which is why it can s part of your nature), but it also causes its problems. But we live in a culture that has made even TALKING about those problems “anti-woman” (emotional reaction rather than rational response) and taboo. Just like men’s rational nature has both its advantages and disadvantages. But we live in a society where we only are allowed to talk about its problems…and masculinity is only “acceptable” to women from another woman…or a man she is attracted to or needs something from. Otherwise it’s “toxic”. “If you want to see who a woman truly is…watch how she treats a man who she feels has nothing to offer her.”
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  235.  @chelsy2255  Because the vast majority of women are even worse, and most of the rest don’t want the responsibility either. Just the power.
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  236.  @jth_printed_designs  Not about more. It’s about “different”. If you keep growing and evolving, there will always be new things for her to learn about you. New things to teach her.
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  237.  @jth_printed_designs  Not the same thing. What I’m talking about isn’t being done for her. It’s being done for yourself, and keeping her interest is simply a convenient side-effect.
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  238.  @jth_printed_designs  You’re not listening to what I’m saying. You’re reacting to what you think I’m saying. My point has nothing to do with material investment other than to say it is a faulty strategy. My point is to invest in your own growth as person. It is a gift that keeps on giving to her. That kind of investment is something that she can’t get elsewhere…or take either her in a divorce. Because it’s a part of you.
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  239.  @jth_printed_designs  Still not listening. Go back and watch the video and then put what I said into its proper context. The issue is what is being given and familiarity with what is being given. What he is talking about is the emotional stimulation women need and get from novel experiences. If you rely upon externals for that you will run out of new experiences… and she can divorce you and get that sort of novelty elsewhere. What you keep missing is that when you continue to invest in yourself AS A PERSON, interacting with you remains novel. Because you keep growing and changing… and she can’t get that anywhere else and she can’t take it with her in a divorce. But if you let yourself stagnate as a person? You can invest as much time and energy as you want. She will eventually grow bored of you.
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  240.  @jth_printed_designs  That’s because most men think women are attracted to niceness and the things you do for them. Wrong rule book.
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  241.  @jth_printed_designs  Okay. Unwilling to listen and determined to be right and helpless. Got it. Good luck.
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  242.  @jth_printed_designs  No. Wrong again. I’m just old enough that I accept that it’s a waste of time to try to reason with someone who is arguing emotion. You will never be able to invest enough in a woman to keep her happy. Because you are missing a key variable to the equation. I can’t compel you to open your eyes and see it. So…I’m not going to waste my time. What makes a woman happy is not what makes her horny….and she is not going to stay (happily) long term with any man who doesn’t do both. Since women no longer are financially dependent, they no longer have to stay with men who are just providers. If you only give her the happy end, she’ll eventually get bored and cheat with(or leave you for) a guy who can stir her emotions. It is possible for the same man to do both. But he has to accept that he must do both.
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  243.  @jth_printed_designs  You’re assuming I did that for your benefit. I didn’t. 😎. Bye. You’re still arguing with yourself. Leave me out of it. You do not understand my point or Psychack’s point.
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  244.  @jth_printed_designs  …and twisted it to mean what you wanted it to mean so you can go on believing what you want to believe. Which has nothing to do with what either psychacks or myself are talking about.
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  245.  @konnykontant This. In most cases, it’s just immaturity and the inability to admit error and still maintain their self-respect.
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  246.  @annaandrea8320  I understand evolutionary psychology and about 65 million years of mammalian evolution. Humans are the only mammals that arrogant enough to think that Mother Nature doesn’t have a seat at the table and that we’re all special snowflakes. We aren’t. There ways that we are all different, and there are ways in which we are remarkably similar. Women have a much higher investment and risk than men do with procreation. So evolution made sure that women (as a group) are much more selective than men are. Because the consequences of a poor mate choice can be severe.
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  247.  @annaandrea8320  No. Just because I’m willing to call out your bad faith arguments for what they are doesn’t mean that I care what you think. Don’t confuse boundary setting for engagement. Just cause I won’t let you tear up the lawn doesn’t mean I’ll invite you in my house. Later, troll.
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  248.  @annaandrea8320  No, child it’s not. I’m making a very specific point backed by science. You are trying to attack me personally and draw attention away from that answer because you have nothing to say in reply, you don’t like it, and you want me to stop talking about as you try to lead me down a rabbit hole of self-defense. It’s called a “red herring”. See one of the benefits of plugging your ears and just watching what people do? Is it makes you a pretty good student of human behavior. Good bye. Find some other way to “entertain yourself”. (Another mark of questionable character…sad)
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  249.  @mikochild2  Stop lecturing me. Especially stop lecturing me on what it’s like being a man dealing with a woman. You don’t speak for every woman, nor does your personal experience speak for what men are like. As well as the probability that I am older than you and have more life experience than you. Oh, and once again. Thank you for demonstrating my point. What you are doing is what’s actually toxic.
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  250.  @faddy24  You’re assuming that the person who is making that determination is emotionally healthy. Damaged people feel a compulsion to recreate what they experienced growing up. So if they grew up in a chaotic home with high-highs and low-lows of emotion? They are not going to be able to tolerate the relative peace-and-quiet and consistency that surrounds someone healthy. That peace will bring their inner demons to the surface. They get anxious and uncomfortable and call that discomfort “boredom”…. or they’ll try create the drama and chaos themselves by sabotaging the relationship. …and a healthy person isn’t going to tolerate that for very long.
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  251.  @faddy24  Which is exactly what I said…. from perspective of the damaged person.
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  252.  @Tami-88  He married an addict. Not a narcissist.
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  253.  @waldenmathews8059  More like generalized mud slinging: any man I don’t like…or does what I don’t like…is a narcissist. Convenient way of avoiding having to examine your own behavior and contributing to the toxic dynamic….
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  254.  @roses6564  Toxic people. Bullies. Abu53rs. Narcissists. Addicts. Sociopaths, etc. None of theses people ever think their own behavior is a problem or the source of their own problem. So they will spin anything and everything into being someone else’s fault. Which allows them to go on being the hero or the helpless victim in their own story.
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  255. Women hurl the M-word when you are saying something that either makes them uncomfortable or is unflattering towards women. Agreed on the larger point. Men adapt to women. We always have had to if we wanted to reproduce. What is NEW is that women’s hypergamy has had any limits removed from it because of economic freedom and social media. They—and a small number of high status men—are operating in the illusion of a globalized sexual market. Which has exacerbated women’s tendency to pursue the man they can’t have, or won’t commit to them. In short women are slowly becoming harems for the top 20 percent of men. This is not sustainable. One, for every woman who gets the man she wants, four others are empty handed. Two. You wind up with lots of lower status men with no partners. This usually leads to social instability, and we are seeing that process start. In short. Women need to discipline their hypergamy. Just like men need to discipline their desire for sexual variety. Otherwise this all falls apart.
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  256.  @Stimros_halabad Or get off of them and meet people in the wild….
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  257. Exactly. Most men learn early on that many very-attractive women aren’t particularly nice people. They are often arrogant and selfish, because they have Pretty Privilege, and the world gives them attention regardless of how they behave. So most men stop trying to turn these women into wives. It’s not worth the pain But women and hypergamy. Oh, boy. Most women want the very attractive, very high status men that lots of other women want. But lack the wisdom to realize that these men can have LOTS of women. So at a minimum, they feel no need to limit themselves to just one…at worst, the are like many very beautiful women: arrogant and selfish. Knew a guy like the latter in college. He’d literally hold court in the dining hall as women would line up to shoot their shot. The sad part is that he had zero respect for these…and most…women. Because they would just throw themselves at him, regardless of how he treated them. The misogynistic stuff that used to come out of his mouth when it was just guys used to make my hair stand on end. Hell I had a sister and a mother… But so many women don’t learn that they keep picking poorly because society enables them by allowing them to blame men for everything, whereas society eventually tells men to stop being so stupid, and stop sticking that fork into the wall socket,
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  258.  @nicholasbogosian5420  How unbecoming. It’s an open-ended question. So leaving out the physical traits is a choice. Designed to leave the listener in the dark as to what those traits are. Unless you dated women, you really don’t have much to offer because you haven’t had to deal with how women behave when their mating strategies are in play.
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  259.  @nicholasbogosian5420  Do you not understand that ASKING for those traits is implicit in the question, and they are being (in many cases) deliberately left out because it is not in the interests of the woman to give a straight answer to a simple question? As well as the fact that they are being left out creates a false sense of priority. That the character traits being spoken of are more important that the other traits being kept secret. Like I said. Unless you are a straight man you have nothing of value to offer this conversation because you are debating something you have no experience with.
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  260.  @nicholasbogosian5420  I understand your point and I reject it’s needless complexity. Straight men are VERY specific about what they find attractive in a woman. Both physically and temperamentally. Men sugarcoat it around women because so many find it offensive (when they aren’t the type of the men they want, or are they type of the men they aren’t interested in). Most of us can even narrow it down to the parts of female anatomy we find most compelling. So read my lips. When a man asks a woman what she finds attractive he is looking for a complete answer. What she finds attractive physically and character wise. This video is here because all straight men understand that trying to get that complete and direct answer from most women is very difficult to near-impossible. What you refuse to hear is that this difficulty is not accidental and is part of the games and strategies that women deploy in mate selection. And if you haven’t played the game, you really have nothing of value to add here. …and you don’t get it because women relate very differently to heterosexual men than they do gay men. Because all their evolutionary programming comes out. Hell they change even when dealing with straight men once sex steps into the ring. When you go from friend to potential lover. Your an unmarried marriage counselor on this.
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  261.  @nicholasbogosian5420  You are so focused on being right and insulting straight men, that you are not LISTENING. Therefore you are failing to grasp what is a very simple notion. MEN UNDERSTAND THAT THEY ARE. Implicit in the question is what attribute ARE those attraction triggers. Which is why EVERY straight guy is saying that the vast majority of women will not give you a straight answer. Because keeping men in the dark gives her leverage. Which is why you hear us saying to stop listening and start WATCHING. Her behavior will speak the truth in a way her words will not. A point you will never understand unless you interact with women romantically. Because that part of her nature doesn’t come out until the mating game starts. Now stop lecturing about something you really know both about.
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  262.  @nicholasbogosian5420  I have explained it, and the answer isn’t going to change. Men are asking about all aspects of attraction with an open-ended question. Women tend to withhold part of that information because it is in their interests—-securing the best male possible that is available to them… like all female mammals do in reproduction—-to do so. Because one male mating strategy is deception. To try to present yourself as more suitable than we actually are. Withholding information makes that more difficult to pull off. You cant mimic something if you’re confused as to what it is.
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  263.  @nicholasbogosian5420  Still not listening and you’ve wasted enough of my time.
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  264.  @nicholasbogosian5420  No. I answered it. You just refused to accept the answer because it doesn’t fit your preconceived notion. Probably born out of having no experience with women. And since you won’t listen to those of us who do, engaging with you is a waste of time.
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  265.  @nicholasbogosian5420  And for the LAST TIME, we don’t need to be educated. You are ignorant of why this happens and are unwilling to listen to those of us who understand why it happens. If you want to stop being “baffled”, stop talking and start LISTENING.
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  266.  @mr.magnetic8884  True. Many people mistake kindness for weakness. Many women grow up in dysfunctional families and have imprinted on toxic men. But many woman have also been socially conditioned to seek out unstable men. That “butterflies” sensation? That’s what happens when you are meeting your family of origin baggage in another person.
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  267. Yes. It fits. I realized 30 years ago that there was a massive disconnect between what women were saying they wanted, and what they actually were drawn to and seemed happiest with. My SIL is basically a stay at home mom, and seems to be happy as a clam. There is a saying: (Political) Ideology makes for bad policy. Because ideological concepts deal with things should be and ignore how things really are. Fifty-fifty is a feminist political plank. But it seems to be at-odds with women’s biology. Every woman I’ve seen in a truly 50-50 relationship is unhappy…and if the spilt goes any further than that, other women start speaking up and showing their contempt for the man in question. So to borrow a joke from my line of work, “Don’t give them what they ask for. Give them what they need.”
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  268.  @LisaCulton  Women clamor for a 50:50 division of household labor. Not a 50:50 division of resources production. The want the power and freedom, but not the stress and responsibility. Which is why so many women bail when they start to outearn their husbands. Which is why it never works. Women are unhappy with half of the resource production… and men resent having to do 60-70 percent of the resource production (necessary to keep her happy) and then are expected to do half of the housework as well.
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  269.  @LisaCulton  Depends how much he works. If she’s works 40, and I’m 60+?
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  270.  @ThePhabulousYvelise  From my male perspective, it seems many women struggle to separate their perceived value as a mate from their self-worth as a person. So they dig in and defend their self-worth and refuse to change…by insisting that they are fine and men are “the problem”. SMH. Men want what we want…and need what we need. Successful men do not need someone who brings the exact same things that they do to a relationship. Especially since most women don’t spend their resources on men (My money is my money, and your money is our money….). So their success seldom benefits us, while the reverse is almost never the case.
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  271. Yes! We are in a long-standing class war in this country…and the elite are winning because they keep everyone else in a state of fear and anger…and fighting amongst themselves. Why? Because someone who is constantly agitated and looking for someone to kick down at, isn’t going to join forces across tribal ( and along class) lines…and start punching up. “Tell the lowest white man that he is better than the best colored man, and he won’t notice that you’re emptying his pocket. Hell, give him someone to look down on, and he’ll empty his pocket for you.” —-Pres. Lyndon Johnson.
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  272.  @MrMan-fx3ow  All women have no control over that. Men are gatekeepers of relationships. But women have control over who they will and will not have sex with. The problem is that women think that men want a relationship with them simply because they want to have sex. Men will “sleep down” not only with women they won’t commit to, but women they don’t want to be seen in public with (yeah we can @ssholes). So they waste time and energy chasing after a class of me that will sleep with them, but will never settle for them. While they ignore the men who will love them and treat them well..because they think they can do better. They just need to find that one hot guy who will. …
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  273.  @marriagecausesdivorce7540 . Partly. It’s also requiring emotional stimulation. The bad behavior is perceived as masculine dominance….and possibly re-enacting toxic family of origin dramas.
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  274. Well played. There are two kinds of gaffs. One where you stupidly say something you didn’t mean…. Then one where you stupidly and arrogantly say what you actually think. She made the latter one. She thought you’d be so grateful to be in her presence that she could show you how toxic and manipulative she actually is…and you’d tolerate it. I would have paid money to see the look on her face when you rejected her and ended the date. Entitled little 💩.
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  275.  @dogeatdog6157  Blue isn’t real to people who are colorblind. Just because you lack the ability to recognize these signals, is not proof that they are not real. I’m GenX, so there were no dating apps in my day. So if you wanted a woman you had to know how to approach them, and how to gave their interest (or lack of) in you. I was no Chad, but I got pretty good at figuring out who was interested and who wasn’t. Learning the skill saves wear-and-tear on your self-esteem. Because if you approach a woman who is showing signs of interest, you have less chance of being rejected…and less chance of being humiliated by her if things don’t go as planned.
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  276.  @brianmeen2158  They smile. They laugh. They laugh at your jokes. They’ll say little mean things to you to see how you’ll take it. They’ll move closer. They’ll touch you. They’ll bump into when they don’t need to. They FLIRT. Funny story. (This was during Covid. People were doing some really weird stuff). I was treating a group of people at work to a story, and I’ve got about a dozen people’s attention and laughing at what I’m saying. When I’m done, a woman who had been listening just walks up. Puts her hand on my chest, rubs it for a few seconds and then just walks away….😳. A junior colleague is standing next to me and sees the whole thing. I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his skull and go rolling across the floor… Yes. Women will tell you how they are feeling. Though most are a BIT more subtle about it. 🙄
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  277.  @peterflohr7827  Both. Most choosing signals are unconscious. They are body language cues that most women are unaware that they are doing. Flirting is female “game”…and most young women these days are terrible at it. It mostly is about being open, inviting, agreeable, and how to subtly up the sexual tension. I have a female friend who divorced her husband three years ago and she is “actively” gaming me right now. Bombarded me with choosing signal. Was constantly inside my personal space. Constantly touching me on my arms and shoulder…etc. As this is someone I’ve known for years, I tried to close the distance…and she backed off. Told me she was in a long-distance (situation) ship with another guy. But we can “hang out and get a burger sometime.” Thanked her for her honesty, and checked out. Pulled back and resumed treating her like I did when she was married. The look of hurt confusion on her face when I stopped responding to her flirtation was priceless. (Women do not take rejection well). She is now ramping up her efforts again to pull me in. Not interested. At best I am not her first choice. Most likely she was trying to line me up as a replacement. Worst case scenario she was dangling the possibility of sex as a lure to turn me into an orbiter. Whatever the game was, I walked away.
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  278.  @npc7679  That’s true of anything. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
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  279.  @npc7679  I’m aware that’s what you meant. I said earlier on that waiting for them isn’t necessary. It just makes things easier. It’s like cold-calling in sales. Some people can tolerate the ego-bruising of frequent rejections. Most people don’t. So it’s easier, and kinder to yourself to focus on those who show interest in you. But I made my share of cold approaches. One nearly became a wife…
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  280.  @rebelalliance6762  It’s not reducing the pain of rejection. It’s increasing the odds of success. Throwing yourself at women who have no interests in you insists a virtues and teaches you only how to handle rejection at best….humiliation at worst.
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  281. You just delivered the Red Pill for women. Life just doesn’t happen to you. It’s a competition if you want commitment from the kind of man you are attracted to. If you are unwilling to compete, or feel it is somehow beneath you. Men are no more obligated to commit to you, than women are obligated to have sex with men who offer them no added value. 🤷🏾‍♂️
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