Comments by "" (@kellygreenii) on "How to overcome APPROACH ANXIETY: telling the truth under imaginary circumstances" video.

The best cure is learning to notice “choosing signals”. It is vastly easier to approach women who are already showing interest. Than trying to generate interest in women who are indifferent or even hostile.
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@danieltrain5 LOTS of social interaction (get out from behind the screens). Lots of videos about body language and game. Pay attention to your gut. Women move on emotion.
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@James-pl5uc I didn’t say they were necessary. I just said they make the approach easier…and less anxiety provoking. Women do send out choosing signals. Most guys just miss them, or lack the skill/confidence to follow up on them. The real issue is that people spend so much time interacting with devices and dating apps that they lack the skill and confidence to approach a person out in the wild. Guys don’t can’t approach or build confidence. Women don’t know how to flirt, or how to let a guy down easy if she’s not interested. There has been an erosion of people skills. At the end of the day, it’s easier to fish where the fish are. Instead of just throwing your line in the water and hoping a fish just happens by.
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@Cee_Eff “The central tenet of the human drama is: The Whole World Must Change So That I Can Stay The Same.” —-Eckhadrt Tolle. You’ll die waiting for women to change their nature. You can choose to sit out the game…or learn how to play it better. Approaching women is like being a hitter in baseball. Even the best fail more than they succeed. But skill and knowledge reduce the odds of failure and increase the odds of success. …and yeah you have to have the qualities and skill to capitalize on her interest.
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@mtlicq It’s only a trap if you’re dealing with a woman who is damaged goods. She’s doing you a favor by showing you her brokenness up front.
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@Yalbou No all relationships start from cold approaches. Those meetings are the hardest to pull off. Choosing signals are important to learn because they are markers of attraction. They show that she’s either into you…or what you are doing is working. If you NEVER see them? You either aren’t paying attention, don’t know what to look for…or have more work to do on yourself.
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@AkosM Some of it is cultural (African-American women tend to be standoffish in their dealings with men) but most of it is biologic….and men simply miss them rather than women not sending them.
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@brianmeen2158 This. If she’s happy and reasonably healthy, emotionally? She’ll do these things without realizing she’s doing it. It’s part of the human dance of courtship.
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@dogeatdog6157 Blue isn’t real to people who are colorblind. Just because you lack the ability to recognize these signals, is not proof that they are not real. I’m GenX, so there were no dating apps in my day. So if you wanted a woman you had to know how to approach them, and how to gave their interest (or lack of) in you. I was no Chad, but I got pretty good at figuring out who was interested and who wasn’t. Learning the skill saves wear-and-tear on your self-esteem. Because if you approach a woman who is showing signs of interest, you have less chance of being rejected…and less chance of being humiliated by her if things don’t go as planned.
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@brianmeen2158 They smile. They laugh. They laugh at your jokes. They’ll say little mean things to you to see how you’ll take it. They’ll move closer. They’ll touch you. They’ll bump into when they don’t need to. They FLIRT. Funny story. (This was during Covid. People were doing some really weird stuff). I was treating a group of people at work to a story, and I’ve got about a dozen people’s attention and laughing at what I’m saying. When I’m done, a woman who had been listening just walks up. Puts her hand on my chest, rubs it for a few seconds and then just walks away….😳. A junior colleague is standing next to me and sees the whole thing. I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his skull and go rolling across the floor… Yes. Women will tell you how they are feeling. Though most are a BIT more subtle about it. 🙄
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@peterflohr7827 Both. Most choosing signals are unconscious. They are body language cues that most women are unaware that they are doing. Flirting is female “game”…and most young women these days are terrible at it. It mostly is about being open, inviting, agreeable, and how to subtly up the sexual tension. I have a female friend who divorced her husband three years ago and she is “actively” gaming me right now. Bombarded me with choosing signal. Was constantly inside my personal space. Constantly touching me on my arms and shoulder…etc. As this is someone I’ve known for years, I tried to close the distance…and she backed off. Told me she was in a long-distance (situation) ship with another guy. But we can “hang out and get a burger sometime.” Thanked her for her honesty, and checked out. Pulled back and resumed treating her like I did when she was married. The look of hurt confusion on her face when I stopped responding to her flirtation was priceless. (Women do not take rejection well). She is now ramping up her efforts again to pull me in. Not interested. At best I am not her first choice. Most likely she was trying to line me up as a replacement. Worst case scenario she was dangling the possibility of sex as a lure to turn me into an orbiter. Whatever the game was, I walked away.
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@npc7679 That’s true of anything. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
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@npc7679 I’m aware that’s what you meant. I said earlier on that waiting for them isn’t necessary. It just makes things easier. It’s like cold-calling in sales. Some people can tolerate the ego-bruising of frequent rejections. Most people don’t. So it’s easier, and kinder to yourself to focus on those who show interest in you. But I made my share of cold approaches. One nearly became a wife…
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@rebelalliance6762 It’s not reducing the pain of rejection. It’s increasing the odds of success. Throwing yourself at women who have no interests in you insists a virtues and teaches you only how to handle rejection at best….humiliation at worst.
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