Comments by "" (@kellygreenii) on "Don't fight to keep people: you lose when you win" video.

“When they approach, we welcome them. When they leave we do not pursue.” —-Ajahn Chah
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What people desire isn’t always what is good for them. Ask any addict. Your value is not determine by whether someone desires you or not. It just means whether you fit into their conditioning or not. Which may be unhealthy and unreasonable.
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@marcusmcgraw3519 Life isn’t fair. First Noble Truth. Accept it. The point is she is doing what she feels is best for her. Do what is best for you and let her walk. At least she has the integrity (at this point) to tell you the truth of where her head is at. Better that than she stays with you and lies to you and cheats on you.
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@TheMCat11 No. His advice is to accept the reality of people as they actually are rather than make your self miserable demanding they be something they aren’t. There’s an old Al-Anon saying: Yes, alcoholics are drunk, unreliable and usually unpleasant to be around. That is the nature of their illness. But who has the bigger problem? The alcoholic… or the (codependent) who expects them to be different?” People are who and what they are. Accept it and move accordingly. Never be so online and so dependent on someone else that you can’t endure them leaving. Because even those vows won’t stop most people if they want out.
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@ I’m no creating anything. You can either live life on Life’s Terms and live a relatively peaceful life…. …,or you can demand that Life come to you on your terms, and suffer unnecessarily. Because you don’t get to tell Life how to be, and you don’t get to tell other people how they should be and what they should feel. No matter how much you feel entitled to do so.
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@ I’m not telling you anything except presenting you your options as determined by Life itself. You generally can be Happy or Right…but generally not both at the same. If you decide that it is more important to you to be Right, so be it. Just understand that you are choosing to be miserable, and in constant conflict with other people over “shoulds”. They don’t give a 💩 about your “shoulds” because they are chasing after their own. The Four Noble Truths: 1. Life is difficult. 2. We suffer because we become attached to things and conditions rather than accept Reality for what it is. 3. There is a way out of suffering. 4. That way is to accept the Truth, and Live Life on Life’s terms. (Eightfold Noble Path)
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@ Okay? His point is that it’s in NO ONE’S interest to chase after someone who has made it clear that they don’t want you. Because it’s a lose-lose proposition. If she leaves anyway (which is most of the time) you humiliate yourself to no effect. If she comes back you wind up stuck with someone who doesn’t really want to be there and will likely drop you when the first better opportunity (in her eyes, not yours) presents itself. It’s an unwinnable game so the smart move is to simply not play.
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@ Ah. Okay. Later….
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@ Sure. Whatever you say. Later.
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@ Assume whatever makes you happy.
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@ Take the hint. We’re done here and I don’t care what you think the outcome is. There was no argument… and the fact that you seem to think there was is why it’s time for me to walk away from this…
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