Comments by "Lawrence D’Oliveiro" (@lawrencedoliveiro9104) on "Late Night with Seth Meyers" channel.

  1. Come for the jokes, stay for the mini-one-man shows. Never lose them, Seth. Never lose them.
    1300
  2. “Build the wall!” ... wasn’t that the wall your guy promised to build? Instead of which he spent most of his time in office playing golf?
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  3. I just learned this new term: “voteflake”. That’s his supporter fanatics who still insist he won the election.
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  4. There is a saying: “If a thing is worth doing, it’s worth overdoing”.
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  5. 1:38 “Apolish our police departments” ... the ones with the bad apples in them? Apple apolishing, perhaps?
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  6. Yup, while Darnella’s footage was the centrepiece, there were quite a few other clips as well. Basically, the evidence against Mr-George-Floyd-Killer was overwhelming. Even so, his conviction was still in doubt. And he might appeal. And no doubt his Police Union still backs him all the way.
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  7. SpliffsNotes could take off, particularly abong the cool kids. Weed like to think so.
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  8. I like the headline The Register did on Elon’s flight: “Good news: He went into space. Bad news: he came back.”
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  9. “When will they love their children more than their guns?”
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  10. They want credit to go to their guy. Credit for all the good stuff, no blame for any of the bad stuff. Just like the god they worship, really.
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  11. 4:09 The amusing thing about that leader of the Oath Keepers is he is a living, breathing testament to the oxymoron that is “gun safety”.
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  12. Trump is now trying to scapegoat the WHO. They gave the warning to the entire world as soon as they knew about it, but he spent months downplaying and flat-out denying that there was anything to worry about. Now his country is suffering badly, while others who took the warnings more seriously and acted in time were able to deal better with it. Yes, China should have told us all about it three weeks earlier. But that doesn’t excuse Trump’s inaction.
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  13. 3:15 “Scooby Sandwich of Crime” shall be my phrase of the week. Oh, and his Shaggy impersonation is five-star. ;)
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  14. The reason why you are kept awake during brain surgery is so that the surgeon can get immediate feedback if they get anywhere close to cutting something they shouldn’t. The brain has no pain sensors, so the patient doesn’t actually suffer (much) discomfort. I read once about this virtuoso violinist, who actually kept playing during his surgery, so the surgeon could be sure no damage was done to that precious skill. Of course, your head is completely immobilized, otherwise the accuracy of the cutting would be jeopardized.
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  15. If it’s any consolation, the Republicans’ attempts to invalidate Democrat-leaning votes are getting, shall we say, mixed results. https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2020/11/2/judge-rules-nevada-ballot-counting-legal-in-blow-to-republicans https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2020/11/1/texas-court-denies-republican-led-effort-to-reject-houston-votes Even an all-Republican-leaning panel of judges cannot be trusted to rule the Republicans’ way!
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  16. Making every vote count the same is called “proportional representation”. It’s how voting works in Germany; the system was put in place after World War II to ensure that a dictator could never take power there again. And it worked so well, we here in NZ copied it. It does almost inevitably lead to coalition politics: you get a range of political parties in Parliament, none with a clear majority, so they need to figure out how to work together to get things done. But most of us see that as a feature, not a bug. Time for the US to give it a try?
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  17. He claimed the NY Times report was “fake news”, but he didn’t actually come out and say he was paying more in taxes than that. Now I hear he’s claiming the data was “illegally obtained”. But that means it must be true!
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  18. The “My Cue-Card” guy.
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  19. As the saying goes: “Ba-dum-tish!”
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  20. 1:17 ... and their mode of response when this fact is pointed out is “I know you are but what am I?” The Republican Party is the reason why America can’t have nice things.
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  21. Those are just the colours of the car-jumpsuits.
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  22. I think a time limit might be more effective than cutting the mic. Every time either side starts talking, the timer starts running, even if it’s not their turn. Then when it is their turn, if they find they’ve run out of time, tough.
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  23. 10:27 The WHO already had a working test, but the US refused to use that, instead preferring to develop their own. Which it turned out didn’t work, so it had to be withdrawn and redone before trying again. Wasting precious time while the virus continued to spread.
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  24. The correct answer is: “We run a private company, under the expectation that the Government doesn’t get to tell us how to manage our own business.”
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  25. 10:32 Mitt Romney ... henceforth known as “the only Republican with a conscience”.
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  26. He wants it both ways. It was always a hoax, but he came up with a vaccine for it anyway. Just like he agreed with Chris Krebs that the 2020 Presidental election was the “most secure ever”, yet in the same breath still managed to insist that the Democrats had somehow stolen it from him.
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  27. I thought it was one of those “famous quotes that the person never said”, but it’s true -- he’s apparently even said it more than once.
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  28. His good friend Sam Bankman-Fried told him it was the hot new thing.
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  29. Also, don’t forget why mammalian testicles are outside the body: they don’t like being warm. What I want to know is, how come that doesn’t apply to bird testicles?
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  30. 3:31 The Electoral College wasn’t designed to give more weight to rural areas, it was designed to give more weight to slave owners. In other words, not a good example to emulate!
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  31. After so many decades of trying to claim “liberal” doesn’t mean what it says ...
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  32. What happened to the “more than you can imagine” that Giuliani was supposed to have found in Ukraine?
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  33. Yuge sections. The best sections.
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  34. The god they worship is the one that takes credit for all the good stuff, but none of the blame for the bad stuff.
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  35. If any taxpayer money went into the Pfizer-Biontech vaccine (the first one off the ranks, remember), it was from 🇩🇪 or 🇪🇺, not 🇺🇸.
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  36. Remember “rake the leaves”?
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  37. Voting has stopped. He has (deliberately?) conflated “voting” with “vote- counting”.
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  38. 13:23 “Adaptation” ... you keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. “Adaptation” means “changing behaviour to cope with changed circumstances”. It doesn’t mean “trying to continue as before, as though things will be fine”.
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  39. The Teamster guy forgot to ask about stock options.
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  40. Unfortunately, when you only have two parties, you don’t get much of a choice. The best democracies manage more than two parties.
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  41. Jordan Klepper’s segments show their mindset in all its naked glory. George Orwell had a name for it: “doublethink”.
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  42. 8:35 True story: they get bred so plump and round, they can no longer mate without falling off.
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  43. They don’t even have to try to make sense any more. Seems their followers will continue to follow, no matter what. It’s like, to them, “sanity” has become secret code for “radical Left”.
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  44. There’s the gag about a man who got a Christmas card from his doctor, but he couldn’t make out what the message was. Then he remembered who was the only person in town who could read the doctor’s hadnwriting, namely the pharmacist. So he took the card round to that establishment. The pharmacist read the card, then took a bottle down from the shelf and said “That’ll be $4.75 please”. (It’s an old joke...)
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  45.  @joyphillips1821  So you call something “Fake news” when it did actually happen? No, the Republicans had no right to attend the closed-door hearing. The law giving the Democrats the power to keep them out was passed by ... the Republicans.
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  46. I think the midterms have proved that they have thinned out a bit ... perhaps even in the Darwinian sense.
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  47. “This President has committed an illegal operation and will be shut down.” Well, we can dream...
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  48. Every time you hear a Forever Trumper speak, you think that has to be the dumbest thing ever. Until the next time they open their mouth ...
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  49. That is the surprising thing. When you consider the armed response to the Black Lives Matter protests, this time they were almost welcoming to Trump’s Fascists.
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  50. 12:42 He loves the military so much he diverted funding from them to build his wall.
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