Comments by "The Rosey" (@TheEverGrowingRosey-333) on "Psychology with Dr. Ana" channel.

  1. I have yet to find an estranged parent that didn’t have just awful things to say about the child they claim to love. Edit: Folks I am speaking to my own experience, never said this is always the case outside of said experience. Parents who’ve had to put distance between themselves & their addicted adult children aren’t monsters I get it. I’ve experienced an addicted loved one myself.
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  2. I’ve noticed I’ve sabotaged friendships, from feeling like I was being abandoned & that became a self fulfilling prophecy.
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  3. To be fair, the conservatives she talks to could be more moderate type folks & not the really overtly hateful types that engage in that purity testing. Such people do exist I promise you, granted they are a dying breed.
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  4. Thank you for what you said about birthdays! I swear one of the biggest dumps of poison upon the internet was everyone equating caring about being remembered on your birthday to being a narcissist! Also…is it fucked up to have someone vaguely threaten to stop financially supporting you anytime you try to tell them they’ve hurt your feelings? >o>
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  5. Hmm this is interesting to me, I went through an experience where someone I was living with was treating me like I was not just a child but their child (and they aren’t my parent, I barely knew them). Constantly bossing me around, getting on my case about their disapproval on any little thing I did or didn’t do. It was a nightmare. They even went as far to say I was like a two year old. I had tried on numerous occasions to meet them half way, come to them with reasonable expectations of respect, & used my words carefully. But at some point I had enough, & started acting like the defiant brat they had already characterized me as. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I didn’t feel like I had any other option, I didn’t have the means to move out. I was trapped. Edited: I am out now, though the person is still in my life due to them being in proximity to a loved one. I play polite now, but I don’t think I can ever trust them. I don’t feel emotionally safe around them.
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  6. I agree with this, and I feel that cases like Laci Green and Ana Kasparian are good examples of folks that sure sometimes people could've been more patient & kind with them, but I also think they were already attracted to the ideologies they're now in (which I would call fairly reactionary). Edit: That said I don't need someone to label themselves exactly the same as me, in Dr. Ana's case I'd say she's overall all pretty aligned with me except economically & not by a drastic extreme.
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  7. I haven’t watch the video yet, but has anyone else here developed resiliency to some things but not others? Like I’ve lost two Grandma’s within a year span, & like…I think I’m relatively okay? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Miss them but not feeling traumatized by the loss? But if I’m stressed about being prepared for a quiz I’m studying for? 😵‍💫 I’ll be having lots of crying spells & hyperventilating. Nightmares of missing classes or failing tests.
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  8. I honestly don’t buy the idea the victim Katie bullied Jamie, getting called an incel when it sounds like he was very much behaving exactly like one is hardly being bullied. Jamie was likely openly behaving misogynistically in school & obviously online. The show gave me far more implication that she was the real victim of bullying, seeing its revealed nude pictures were spread among her peers without her consent. I really liked the show, my one gripe is I wish more attention was put on Katie. And what she was going through, maybe more episodes could show what her life was looking like before her life was so selfishly taken all because she rejected a boy. Edit: I’ve heard the British schools do tend to have greater issues with unruly kids in school. But Idk for sure, US schools in big cities can be pretty similar. Also…to speak to the weird behavior from Jamie toward a grown adult woman. I had a horrible experience of having my own younger boy cousins speak about me in sexually explicit ways at the same age as Jamie & I was in my early twenties. It was horrifying, & I had never wanted to smack the mouths off my own family before that to that degree before. But I didn’t say anything to their parents cause I got told by my own mom that I shouldn’t.
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  9. Why would a wonderful man intentionally try to make his partner suffer?
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  10. Have you ever seen the YouTube channel Momma Cusses? I’d say she’s fairly inline with Authoritative parenting in how she goes about her idea of gentle/responsive parenting. Her teen child makes appearances on the channel from time to time, but her little children do not. I’ve heard from other people in the psychology field & parents that parenting styles depend on the personality of the child. That some children are more “challenging” then others & need a more Authoritarian style. This frankly to me always felt like a justification to abuse kids & to make a literal child out to be a villain. I definitely think the folks who think Time Outs as inherently abusive likely experienced Time Out as “stay the corner/your room not doing anything/not make any noise until I say you can come out!” And then they were left for long amounts of time. I know I definitely prefer timeout as an exercise in emotional regulation & not as a punishment.
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  11. It's good to speak up on something so scary. Bots were also a huge factor in the hate campaign against Amber Heard. I really hope for the sake of not just your safety but the safety of all Romanians that Russia doesn't try to worse to your country like it has to Ukraine. <3
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  12. This is interesting as someone who suffers more from overeating disordered tendencies, because from my understanding restricting is required particularly in more severe cases of overeating EDs. And about Ariana, I don’t like commenting on another person’s but especially a woman’s body. I don’t know if she has a restrictive ED or if she’s potentially sick in a different way. That said…I am worried about the little girls who are going to see Wicked, & are going to get Glinda doll, & think that such a small body is aspirational. Particularly little girls with parents that can’t or won’t discuss how to have a healthy relationship with food & one’s own body.
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  13.  @thaloblue  wow, your words show such an incredible disrespect for women that choose to be mothers. If they dare say they're happy, you dismiss their feelings as "liking the shape and size of their cage." As well as an egregious misunderstanding of how PPD works. You are projecting your own feelings around not wanting to be a mother for yourself onto fellow women enough to see as their own people with their own different experiences and feelings from your own. Shame on you!
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  14. I think folks will cling to diagnoses particularly if they grew up with a prominent person in their life denying they had any challenges or would acknowledge them but think they don’t need any help or at least a different approach in how they learn. And this had a detrimental effect on their ability to function as they grew up into adulthood, that was definitely my experience. Like…even now as an adult I’ve had family question whether I “deserve” extra time on exams in college courses. I have traumatic memories of being forced to stand & stare at an analogue clock until I could correctly say what time it was (I never did, I would just breakdown crying. But I can read analogue clocks as an adult now, from teaching myself with patience & compassion). Obviously my username suggests I highly identify with that fact I’m Autistic, but recently I’ve begun reevaluating whether I want to continue with that username here. On one hand I think there’s been benefits in my personal growth by embracing this pretty big part of myself (& it’s helped me better manage how it can impede my executive functioning & social life), but also I’ve spent enough time around other people who it’s had a more detrimental effect on.
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  15. @ but if you’re hoping for your estranged child to return, speaking I’ll of them especially in ways that likely are similar to have they’ve historically been hurt by you is a good way to make sure that reconciliation never EVER happens. Being the estranged child at least likely has less life experience to know better than the parent should.
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  16. When you say “someone going through something” I had trouble understanding what exactly that means? Like your friend that was sleeping with a married man she definitely sounds toxic, but like I would make a distinction between someone like her vs. someone who just went through a recent trauma & needs a hug, words of affirmations, or just company just so they’re (to a reasonable degree) not left alone with some really bad thoughts. Idk I feel like some people are quick to abandon people without care or explanation for the other person (not applying this to abusive people who rail road through boundaries). I had to cut someone out I loved very much, but I still gave them the dignity of an explanation, was firm but kind in doing so, & made it clear I’d love to let them back in but they needed to be willing to work on communicating better & healthier with me when there was an issue. I didn’t just ignore their calls, or texts like they were trash I just threw away. And I sincerely hope they’re in a better place where ever they are.
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  17. Have you seen the channel Estranged Parent? She is…something else to say the least, I thought the way she spoke of her child particularly through more implicit phrasing was so manipulative & passive aggressive. I know a person who I see regularly from work, & they are constantly making remarks about their eldest adult child & all praising of their youngest. I’ve tried to gently ask them why maybe their child may say certain things about their childhood. They’re very dismissive, “get over it,” “I was a single parent I didn’t know what I was getting into, I thought a baby would be more like a doll to dress up,” “having my eldest was my biggest regret,” & “my youngest was easier to raise, they’re more like me, logical not emotional like my little petunia.” Gee I wonder why their relationship with their eldest isn’t as easy as the relation with their golden youngest. I made a mistake once of confiding to them the emotional abuse one of my parents put me through, & at one point they said “Yes, but how did you contribute to it?” 0_0 I tried to explain that a child can’t contribute to a parent’s emotional abuse, that it was my parent’s responsibility not a child’s. “No, you’re asking too much, they just weren’t ready to have a daughter. You can’t blame them.” Never brought up that parent with that coworker anymore. They project themselves onto my own parents a lot, & admittedly I’m likely guilty of projecting myself onto their eldest adult child. We sound very alike in shared struggles growing up. Any advice on how to encourage a more empathetic perspective on their adult child? Or at least what I can’t say that is both kind but challenges their perception? Idk, there are many times when it feels wrong to just let them talk so disparaging about their child that isn’t present to defend themselves.
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  18. I can attest that telling someone their anxiety around climate change isn’t warranted will not lessen the anxiety. Just makes the person feel isolated & unheard. My own therapist downplayed the current & coming issues around it. So I never spoke to her about it again, & felt more isolated as a result. When you say you feel there is fear mongering around the issue of climate change, can you clarify? Cause like, shouldn’t we? And yes, the average everyday person can’t do anything about climate change, but the people in power did & do. That’s why the fear mongering was & is there, to get everyday people to care enough to get the people in power to listen & do something. I get we shouldn’t dwell on what we can’t control, but that doesn’t mean we just give up right? What else are we suppose to do? Real people (the most disadvantaged & vulnerable) are already being affected by this for the worst.
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  19. @ lol no, I just don’t consider what Katie did to be bullying.
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  20. I don’t know if I ever wanted to be popular, but I know I always wanted connections with people. Oh, & for other kids to stop bullying me growing up. These days I just wish I could find a friend that puts effort into maintaining the friendship at least half as much as I do. I hear this is a problem for most people trying to make friends today. You’re not wrong about popular kids can be cruel, maybe it’s because they may socially get away with bad behavior more often so they don’t have people correcting them enough?
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  21. I honestly think Aidan willingly got back with Carrie both low self esteem, but he also wanted to punish her. Think about it, pay attention to some of his more subtle passive aggressive behavior when they’re back together. Like when he smacks the nicotine patch on her shoulder hard enough it actually hurts her. Carrie was behaving selfishly through the whole relationship yeah, but I don’t think her actions were intentional malice.
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  22. Yeah this definitely all depends on what the conflict between two mutual friends of mine was all about. Did someone sleep with the other’s partner? Victim blame them for a crime that was done to them? Was someone assaulted? All those are definitive grounds for a friendship with one of them ending yes. But if it’s miscommunication & a refusal to try to work it out, I’m not getting in the middle of that.
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  23. @ I’m sorry your family is going through that. Good thing I never it’s always the older person’s fault, just that I have yet to find an estranged parent that didn’t have awful things to say about the child they claim to love.
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  24. @ was only speaking to my own experience. Though I have met parents like you with an addicted child, they didn’t really use the term estranged or they talked about previously having to put some distance between themselves & their addicted child.
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  25. What about cosmetic surgery for transgender folks? What are the studies for them?
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  26. I felt for this mom, but also have a lot of difficulty with her openly saying her own baby is a parasite. Like Ana I dred the day that little girl comes across that video & her being hurt by her mother’s words.
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  27. I don’t think being anxiously attached makes you a good/bad person. I think the anxiously attached probably get taken advantage of more, but also sometimes anxious attachment can lead to control/manipulative behavior if unchecked. Also, yeah I definitely think it’s natural to be devastated after losing a partner. Though I have anxiety around if I’m the one left behind after my long term partner passes wending up like my paternal grandmother. The depression after she lost my grandpa was of course understandable, but the callous cruelty to even her own grandchildren for the decade after his passing…I never want to become that. I don’t want to be the grandma that gave one of my grandchildren body dysmorphia because I kept making jabs about their weight or purposefully giving all the other grandkids pancakes for breakfast & them none. Like, it was so awful, I swear she wasn’t like that before my grandpa passed. I told my partner if I go first he’s not allowed to take it out on the family we plan to build together. I swore I would haunt him if he did, & he needs to haunt me if it’s me being the ass to our family.
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  28. Idk, I’ve had a bad thing happen after following advice from people, but I didn’t blame the friends that gave me advice. 🤷🏼‍♀️ More I considered myself to have been the more reasonable & compassionate person (granted not perfectly I did the best I could) over the situation. And my friends couldn’t have anticipated how malicious the other person in the situation was going to be to me.
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  29.  @Farsii9304  getting called an incel online after making manosphere related posts isn’t bullying. 😆
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  30.  @AnaPsychology  he’s indirectly talking about a stabbing incident in the UK; a man came into a mother daughter yoga class & stabbed 13 of them. The public wrongly assumed the assailant was an immigrant & there was a mass mob frenzy where immigrants were attacked in the streets. Many people have assumed this show was based off this specific stabbing incident but that isn’t true. It was a work of fiction inspired by multiple stabbing incidences in the UK. They’re outraged the show depicts a white adolescent boy having done the crime, & not a person of color. This person is being racist.
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  31.  @Kaztoozs  he was literally making manosphere posts online, that’s why Katie called him an incel.
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  32. @ the majority of fathers don’t get shared or full custody of their children because they don’t bother trying. 🤷🏼‍♀️ That’s just a fact. The majority of fathers that do fight for shared/full custody get it.
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  33.  @AnaPsychology oh wow you replied, & thank you for the condolences. I sincerely feel they’re both at peace now, even if one of their deaths was less expected. Neither of them are in anymore pain & that’s enough for me. And I like to think I’ll see them again someday. ☺️ I’ve heard cold water has been shown to help a lot with anxiety. Anna Akana talked about using cold baths to help with that!
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  34. Omfg I didn’t even know I needed this crossover!!! 🤯😭♥️💜 Yaaay!
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  35. That word is greatly overused.
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  36.  @prschuster  you should probably blame fathers for abandoning their family in that 2nd point.
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  37. Ana what about the sunscreen you wear? That’s the most important part of skincare!
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  38.  @MAJ-Pronounce  no, it was inspired by multiple stabbing events. And last year, after that specific stabbing event the attacker was actually white but a public figure falsely claimed otherwise resulting in mass mob frenzy where immigrants were attacked in the streets.
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  39. For one it really depends on the one thing me & a loved one can disagree on. Like things like don’t wear a confederate flag hoodie in my house.
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  40.  @ShallaBal82  Manson was scapegoated for being shocking & being goth. That is not the same as the manosphere openly making misogynistic rhetoric that is reaching & becoming popular among kids.
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  41. Hmm okay admiringly the title of the book made me initially prejudicial but I’m willing to buy & read it myself because of your feedback on it. Have you by chance heard of the book Conflict is Not Abuse? It’s not written by a psychologist rather a college professor, at the time I read it I overall liked the message but took issue with a few examples the author gave for things that were conflicts & not abuse, for example she tries to frame a lesbian couple where one broke the arm of the other as not abuse because the injured lesbian had cheated. Rather she frames them as “in conflict” but also doesn’t believe in the term “mutual abuse” which I don’t either but have difficulty conceiving a relationship where some being physically violent resulted in the other’s broken arm as being just “in conflict.” Like Mam, just no.
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  42. Sweet Gods this is terrifying to see trending on social media, & I bet the people who are going to be harmed the most are neurodivergent folks. Reminds me of people demanding I look them in the eyes to tell if I was lying or not. I remember a cousin of mine being called stuck up because she didn’t speak much around this dude, & when I tried to explain she’s shy his response was “no way a girl that pretty is shy.” A good example of someone’s sexist bias letting them make a poor judgement of a woman’s character. Which people are inevitably going to also do using these tik tok as teaching tools.
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  43. @ well I was clearly only speaking to my own life & choices. Folks had a right to get upset & not wanna be my friend anymore cause of my actions. 🤷🏼‍♀️
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  44.  @AnaPsychology  that's awful, I understand what you mean how heart wrenching it is to hear them miss their husbands. Your Grandma will see him again someday. <3
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  45. @ that sentence didn’t make any sense to me.
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  46.  @PrivateSnafu14  yeah? I still have to see her on the regular.
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  47.  @ChristopherMHeaps  not everyone that struggles to empathize with us is a sociopath? 0_o And I never said that? I asked for advice for encouraging one person. Had nothing to do with you.
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  48. Such inquisitive kitty Cannoli is, much deserving of pets!
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  49. @ thank you, I’m okay though that memory obviously stays with me. And those cousins seemed to have turned out okay, & I like to think their parents would’ve been horrified if I’d told them.
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  50. Hmm, interesting findings. 🧐
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