Comments by "Jack B" (@WindFireAllThatKindOfThing) on "Extra History" channel.

  1. If the Iliad was the first Epic, then Beowolf was the first episode of Jackass. Some people just can't resist a dare.
    283
  2. Brit strutting around Kyoto during Edo period: ACK! ACK ACK! Setsuna Samurai: **cranks Slim Whitman up to 11**
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  3. Man: Thanks god for good things in life Also Man: Can't blame god for bad things in life God: Histories greatest Lawyer, never lost a defamation case yet
    170
  4. Until now, I'd never automatically had Benny Hill theme music pop into my head when thinking about the Crusades
    146
  5. Wait til he gets to the history of The Philippines. It's STILL like GoT.
    122
  6. And I bet he would have found a new home on Twitter amongst today's conservative not-really "libertarians". They probably have his corpse on ice somewhere so Doctor Mindbender can combine his DNA with Strom Thurmond, Wallace, Reagan, and Nixon in a secret Cobra lab beneath some bayou swamp.
    77
  7. For the last 20 years, Beer has been instrumental in helping me achieve my life goal of finally contracting Gout. History's best way of letting the world know you're a somebody
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  8. Southern Strategy 101.
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  9. And in the end, he gave Job back his plantation. Slaves and all.
    52
  10. The Geat with the most yeet Packs the sauce to beat the boss No Dane will be the same After Beowulf win his fame
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  11.  @blank_3768  Which is just lite, PG-13 Greek fiction
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  12. An extremist splinter sect of the Mathematicians are widely known to be the worlds first terrorists. Spoken of only in whispers, they went by the name.....Common Core. shudder The horror. The horror.
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  13.  @electricangel4488  lol, my daugher in law is Filipina. Don't ever mention Ol' Duggy Boy to her, or you will endure about 2 hours of tirades about colonizers. American, Spanish, Japanese. It's a sore spot with them. I'm Hawaiian, and even I'm impressed with their vitriol on the subject.
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  14.  @apexhunter935  To paraphrase myself: "Yes, I think that was his whole damn point"
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  15. Can't invest what you ain't got. You gotta love how they ignore this glaringly obvious plot point.
    36
  16. Nobody ever read a novel, browsed a comic book, or watched a TV show about a perfect & peaceful world of plenty and came away entertained. Even Star Trek needed Klingons. Except for a while after the 50's. After WW2, those folks just wanted to think everything was cool, like The Fonz, and live in Mayberry next to The Cleavers. The lesson? Utopia seems like a pretty good deal after battling the horrors of Dystopia.
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  17. There's no difference between the Han and the Yamato. Just a question of who did what at any given time. Same ego. Same arrogance. Same master race attitude.
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  18. "Ben Tillman was a POS" Well, you finally did it, Extra C. You managed to top the Gettysburg Address for both brevity, earnestness and concision.
    30
  19. That strange moment when you realize ancient Pantheon lore is actually pretty damn short and digestible (if whacky) compared to much contemporary fantasy fiction franchise lore You can fathom the broad strokes, key points, and players of Norse mythology in a day or two with the right references and lectures Try doing that with 40k, GoT, or Tolkien canon. You could do a semester of studies in each subject and still be dubious in your mastery of the material afterwards
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  20.  @christopherhammond9467  Justify that statement, and where you get off attacking people's accessibility to lodge their vote (our most sacred right) please.
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  21. And this is why your phone has a Compass and 9-1-1 app
    24
  22. Don't ever change, Market Capitalism. Don't ever change. Aaaaaand...you probably won't. Never underestimate the ability of the well fed and wealthy to find a way to take the last mouthful from the starving. Misery begets Desperation. Desperation begets Profit. Profit begets Feudalism.
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  23. Pretty simple: Develop the Navigator gene, the Geller Field, and then jump into and ride etheric tides tHRoUgh HelL.....
    23
  24.  @DuranmanX  Trying to define the Mexican Revolution as one single revolution over a 10 year period is like trying to define Philippine politics in anything less than a 1000 page textbook with flowcharts and a 10 part documentary mini series. Physics says it's just not possible in this dimension/and/or plane of existence.
    22
  25. And to think, we raise eyebrows at Furries. I kid. They would totally have been hunted down then by the kinky bastards of Biblical times as well
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  26.  @JosephHutzulak  And a third of those may actually live to withdraw it
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  27.  @electricangel4488  Yeah...she knows the history a helluva lot better than History Channel Fanbois. Not an argument you have a chance at being as well versed in. And her degree is in history. She's a teacher and linguist. As with most things in life, it's not as simple as all that, at all. Especially his relationship with Quezon. But the pink bathrobe was always a nice touch.
    20
  28. There was actually 2 soldiers that Patton slapped, the other one everyone knows being SGT Paul Bennet, with Patton previously expressing the idea to find & shoot a few 'cowards' to make examples anyways. The other soldier was PV2 Charles Kuhl, who had undiagnosed Malaria at the time Patton slapped and threatened to execute him, too. He and his parents actually wanted the matter dropped in defense of Patton. He passed in 1971.
    17
  29. Daenerys: Dracarys! Pope: Pfffft....Hold my holy water. Besides, dragon was a synonym for Satan. Extra Heresy.
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  30.  @Orocnogu  Me: Looks at my sons Also Me: Well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad. Frankly, I'm surprised all of them survived puberty.
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  31. Is that part of the Langerhans islets?
    10
  32. If they wanted their objections to CRT to be taken seriously, they maybe shouldn't have presented all their arguments in the form of falsehoods and childish attempts to provoke this same level of violence and civil strife. All because they can't rewrite history unless they halt a Graduate degree course. They have no credibility now and have made their situation worse. Or are just after donations.
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  33. Classic. I wonder if she's in a support group with Drawmij the Mage. SPELL - Drawmij's Instant Death: When this spell is cast, Drawmij - where ever and who ever he is - dies instantly. He doesn't even get a saving throw. As this spell has been around for some time, it is fair to assume that Drawmij is getting pretty sick and tired of it.
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  34. Pretty standard Catholic parenting.
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  35. Sovereignty is just Tribalism with extra steps
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  36.  @shnoodledorf  You've just defeated Cholera
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  37. I remember first reading about her as the strangest villain in the 1st Edition AD&D Dungeon Master's Guide, and then periodic re-appearances in the Monstrous Manual, and multiple franchise campaign settings like Greyhawk. They did a good job introducing obscure historical pantheons back then.
    8
  38. This revolution fires 8.629 factions per minute
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  39. "He who controls the Meth, controls the Commercial Truck Transport Biz" - Modern Parallels
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  40. Can confirm: my great, great auntie is a night marcher, but if she catches you fully clothed with unshat shorts, she will just call you Haole and curse you to pay $8.50 for bread at the ABC store
    8
  41. Engineering is in our DNA. Look at all the various branches of disparate humanity that all came up with the Bow, the Boat, and the Wheel. But then again, oddly, there's also Cthulhu-like iconography found in completely disparate ancient cultures around the world too. So we got that going for us.
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  42.  @bodo-bing  I'm far more likely to be saved by a dude in tights than I am a cannibalism advocate in a toga from two millennia ago who could summon Pruno in bulk
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  43. Sounds like a Wu Tang chamber "Come boy, choose the ball, or choose the sword" K, going to rewatch Shogun Assassin now. Makes more narrative sense.
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  44. But great curb appeal. Like most homes, they're trash but have unwarranted, high market values that keep people living ther....OH, that's why no one escapes. They're trapped in an upside down mortgage, aka: an eternal Hel.
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  45. Never get involved in a land war in Asia - Some Sicilian
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  46. He's a time hater. He travelled all the way back through time just to call you a Cracka
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  47. The great Imperial Taco Heresy still schism'izing to this day Even the Ecclesiarchy aren't sticking their noses in that one
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  48. But not in Nottinghaaaaaam......
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  49. "And reservoirs that remain, to this day, the largest on the planet" (addendum: largest hand cut) The Kariba Reservoir & San Alfonso Del Mar accept your apology
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  50. Let's be honest, poor building code and zoning defeated the Philistines.
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  51. I feel like a shallow burial is just how people parked an obnoxious drunk for the night back then. Which would explain the plethora of Irish undead folklore from Banshees to the Fear Gorta.
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  52. @ I think you're leaving out a key word I used there: MARKET capitalism. Which is indeed based on that golden Ferengi rule "He who has the gold makes the rules", which is also why Religions love Gold so much. Humanity's oldest, and most barbaric, form of government. And we still can't get rid of it.
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  53. The darker side of Beauty and the Beast that Disney didn't tell you Gaston: How do you like me now?
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  54. How much did it really change afterwards? They still have a paper emperor, and the Merchant class absolutely runs Japan. Ghibli is the floating world, and Weebs still import Japan's most absurd & wierd shit like it's secret treasure.
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  55. It would definitely help round out & add context to the Incan empire series
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  56. Gunboat Diplomacy: History's first Black Friday sale
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  57.  @openthinker6562  Why should they? They haven't been the Dixiecrats since before Carter. Republicans willfully took on the mantle of the Racist's party of choice. Democrats didn't have to shift a thing. What they did was prove that positive change is possible. What you're saying is that you believe in original sin.
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  58. Every time people cite the Sword in the Stone as Excalibur, I get the urge to slap them like people who missed the early seasons of GoT, and think the Lanister ending was romantic
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  59. Haiti was Vietnam's wars before it was cool
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  60. Eh, I put him on the same podium as Jean Paul Jones, Ida Lewis, and that absolute unit that was the Tank Man of Tiananmen Square, who couldn't even be bothered to put down his groceries before winning a staring contest with a tank platoon.
    4
  61. He fell for one of the classic blunders: Never get involved in a land war in Asia
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  62. This explains every golden era Anime I ever saw in the 80's & 90's, ever.
    3
  63. You gotta admire Disney's ability to retcon Baba Yaga from cannibal witch to 'Fairy Godmother'
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  64.  @luisandrade2254  Because of the oceans of blood holy fan fiction spills.
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  65. Vore hentai has been around for way, WAY too long.
    3
  66. Suspicion confirmed: My great, great, great, great Grandma was a ho
    3
  67. He who can destroy a Pumpkin Spice Chai, controls a Pumpkin Spice Chai
    3
  68. Huh, weird. A similar system for corporate managed rental properties used to house much of the US population today. Who knew.
    3
  69. 1780 England: A pig of a "Lord" leads a mob of hateful minority rabble demanding overturned discrimation laws come back, or else they will attack the Government and Public 2019 America: "LOL, what a bunch of A-holes. So glad times have changed....."
    3
  70. Nobody spies on their allies (or assassinates civilians in allied nations) better than Mossad. The Russian GRU/FSB is still trying to catch up to their K/D ratio abroad. They still deny the elimination of allied agents, sources and citizens of the UK, the US, and Canada.
    3
  71. Whole thread is like listening to people argue over whether Gacy was cooler than Bundy.
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  72. Christ, what I would give for everyone to just wake up tomorrow morning without the Babel curse, able to speak to and humanize each other through one common tongue, with no memory of borders and no history. Just a clean start and today's problems, not yesterdays, and none of yesterdays vendettas. Tired of watching the bored and the power hungry weaponize the history of dead men to kill children today.
    3
  73. Until McDonald's puts the Bald Eagle Sandwich (for a limited time only!) on the menu,l that is
    3
  74. I knew this would loop back around to the Eaters of the Dead sacrificial funeral eventually It was the most lurid part of the book
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  75. What do you mean getting blitzed during the holidays "was" a holiday custom? Watching your thrice-divorced Aunt Karen on Thanksgiving as she puts away half a box of wine and regale your mom with tales of how she should have gotten more in court is just the midway point of the holiday fun.
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  76.  @tomc6255  I would like to take this moment to thank D&D for acquainting me with all these warped, psychotic pantheons & legends when I was 10, including lore of Baba Yaga's hut, and for all the therapy I never got afterwards
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  77. HOLY FURRY BAIT, BATMAN
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  78. You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain
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  79. Ancient Farmer: Rain isn't doing what I want it to do today Ancient Politician: Let's build a pyramid and cut some hearts out. Ancient Famer: Does that work? Ancient Politician: Only one way to find out.
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  80. Chiselled Spam.
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  81. Pardon criminals to marry a prostitute and move to Louisiana. And thus Bourbon Street was born, and has been the same ever since
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  82. The real reason they lost: They didn't consider how delicious Emus were. (My mom's best friend ranched Emus, they taste like beef) It'd be like growing wheat crops for a year, just to find a giant herd of valuable cattle overran your farm. The right answer: Admit that fate is telling you to stop being a farmer and start being a rancher
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  83. Imagine if your dealer was just like "Aw man, I'm all out of Weed, Coke, basically everything you want. How about some Quinoa? Not as much demand." Thankfully, this hypothetical never happens in practice. Your dealer ALWAYS has more stock somewhere and is thankful to get your business.
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  84. No. They're called Laws. We have them.
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  85. A 9 day illness, you say?!?? Social Distancing intensifies
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  86. Me: Hey lady, got a light? Her: SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! KILL, MAIM, BURN! Me: Oh, I see you're a Taurus. That's nice.
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  87. But the world was heading for a dumbing down... Brought to you by Carl's Jr.
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  88. SPAH SAPPIN MUH SENTRAY!
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  89.  @jatziberoja04  Yeah, that resonates better
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  90. Because it's fucking trivia. Unless you've got a plan to create peace in the middle east? Which means you probably have an advanced degree with an emphasis on regional history.
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  91. Coffee is the gateway drug to Qat. Change my mind.
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  92. Would anyone be surprised if Jack Sheppard was Great x8 Grandpappy of the Lock Picking Lawyer?
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  93. Must...cover... Elizabeth....Bathory Gotta keep this truth behind the bloody legends thing going
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  94. Strict "moral" code. Enforced with the most immoral of means for the most amoral of goals, whipped up by the most morally warped people. Some things never change.
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  95. People pay good money for that kind of experience at 6 Flags
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  96. In the enlightened brightness of the near future, there are only rainbows
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  97. @yossarian I have no objection to this. You may proceed.
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  98. I'd have ridden with him. A worthy death. But would have put earplugs in when it was Sermon hour around the fire. They should have put statues of him up everywhere in the south after 1865. Just to give him the last laugh.
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  99. When someone takes all your ideas, research, and hard work to create something making the world a better place, but adds their own little flourish just to proclaim that IT'S ALL MINE I'MMA BE RICH, yeah, you should have the legal right to knock out one or two of their teeth.
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  100. Map ended after he tried to get his care package 3 times.
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  101. You look exactly how your voice led me to believe you would look. Like you could be Joe Rogan's hype man. That's not a dig. Or (in Extra Credit voice) ... is it ??
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  102. I'm sure the humiliation has nothing to do with their paper thin ethnic ego. Everything except utter obedience and fawning compliments is an insult to the Han mindset
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  103. Stop cutting onions in my living room with a rusty bayonet, pleasethankyou
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  104. You know your York is bad when it's not even New.
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  105. Extra Credit: Our government be broken Astartes: You dare question the Lex Imperialis, Heretic?
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  106. I'm kinda down with his Jesus & John theory. I mean, who else invites just 12 dudes over for a last dinner party
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  107. Or the Russians and the Poles
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  108. War is for the birds.
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  109. Wifey: It's date night. You owe me a romantic flick. Me: Sure. Let's watch High Fidelity. Her: Ugh. You always pick that. We've seen it like a hundred times. Pick something more romantic. Me: Fight Club it is.
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  110. Always, always, ALWAYS chase a Boney M music video with a shot of Dschinghis Khan
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  111. If Herbert was inspired by Miller Park and Heceta Beach, I wonder what Tolkien would have thought about the Hobbit Trails being named for his works. They're just a short drive north.
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  112. So Pinkerton, a formerly idealist immigrant who came into money, became more "me, me, me" capitalist conservative as he got old and used the idea of Socialism as the boogy man for his bad politics. Boy, good thing times have changed, eh?
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  113.  @applesyrupgaming  Revise your sentence, please. It fails to convey what you're trying to say, because it lacks most of the 5 W's of a proper sentence. Namely the Who, the What, then When, and the Why. But at least you had a Where.
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  114. "I am a doughnut" - JFK
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  115. BLOODY MAGPIES!
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  116. Is this some kind of...Bubbahotep?
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  117. Thus began the Italian Mob practice of charging "Protection Money" Which is slightly more civilized way of describing organized mass ransom
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  118. @Leonardo Gurney England that Hypeman lurking outside the ring, waiting to climb on the top turnbuckle and drop an atomic elbow
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  119. We call it Marriage up here
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  120. Unfettered Capitalism: Why we can't have nice things
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  121. Ah yes, the grand tradition of the highest court in the land punting fiscal law issues down the line while the wealthy do their thimblerig thing. Never change, Capitalism. Your beauty is eternal like a flower.
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  122. Religion is the playground of people who can't cut it as Lawyers but love litigation
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  123. 2 words are the chief reasons why it was better for Germany to lose the conventional war and survive occupation for decades than to have "won" WW2 Those words? Trinity. Test. Had they managed to defeat both the USSR (probable without lend lease) and the British (possible with Russian oil and food) and consolidate mastery of Europe, the inevitable fate of Berlin would have been reduction to a massive glowing crater Edit: For those who never noticed, the Manhattan project began 3 years before the US ever entered the war. Like Thanos, the Americans having the bomb was...inevitable. Unless you have a time machine.
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  124. Flashbacks to American Gods Season 1 ender....
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  125. American military victory in the Far East: Drops 2 atomic bombs in 3 days, Japan surrenders in 1945 American military victory in the Near West: Drops 1,032 nuclear bombs over 47 years, Nevada finally surrenders in 1992
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  126. Plus ca change....
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  127. I'm just gonna take this moment to thank William Gibson for making young me an addicted reader, and Neal Stephenson for making addiction fun High tech, low life, y'all
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  128. Too many works claim to fit in the Cyberpunk genre without realizing they are missing the key ingredient: High tech, low life
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  129. The bigger your war, the bigger your guns need to be
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  130. I feel personally attacked.
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  131. Nice.
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  132. America: Social Media Bubble - Buying Out Democracy & Your Personal Info - Extra History #2981
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  133. Meanwhile, over at Jay Dubz headquarters every Tuesday: "We're in the final moments of the final finalist of days. Of the final days. Finally."
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  134. *GIMME THE LOOT! GIMME THE LOOT!* - Biggie
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  135. Your "It's complicated" relationship status will never compare to this
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  136. Demeter: Patron saint of all landlords.
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  137. Still seems like a just end to Pompey "the Great" after the whole Spartacus/Mass Crucifixion thing ending the Servile wars
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  138. It's been Muqtada Al-Sadr's empire in everything but name since 2011.
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  139. Not sure which more aptly qualifies as Tinder's historical prototype. 14th century Masquerade Ball or 1st century Roman orgy.
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  140. Every time Red shows up, I feel like I'm about to be randomly pummeled with a heaping stack of Andrea Dworkin publications
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  141. Sooo, you're saying a religion came along that said "Ours will be the only religion, and will take over your government in the name of our God", and people didn't react with immediate enthusiasm to that? And then played the Martyr card at every turn? Crazy. Sounds familiar. And how did that work out again? Oh yeah, the Roman empire became a Theocracy & civilization in decline. The intolerant religion won.
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  142. 'Enlightened philosophy that was not actually practical in the real world' October Revolution would like to know your location
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  143. Let's be honest. Rob was a dirty cheater. His first love was always music, and he sullied that purity by trying to have a successful relationship. YOU DID THE MUSIC DIRTY, ROB. You did the music dirty.
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  144. Blue Shell is Socialism. In Shell form.
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  145. TIL: Early Christians were just really bored, and had only two things to entertain themselves: Pick fights with each other on the flimsiest of pretexts, and die of diverse plagues
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  146. When your government is run by the sword.... There's no nobility here. Just people who are in charge because they had swords refusing to give up being in charge because they had swords. The course of events wasn't some mystery.
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  147. "Build more Ziggurats" "Not enough Overlords" "Zug Zug"
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  148. Brown's mother suckled him as a babe on the blood of 36 dragons.
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  149. As much as I love Neal, and he is my fave author since the early 90's, he still hasn't quite lost the habit of crafting really, REALLY abrupt endings because you can tell he got sick of writing a piece any longer. With the possible exception of In The Beginning Was The Command Line, he does it. Every. Time.
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  150. Just good ol' timey Christian family values, right there
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  151.  @tdukejo6123  Beats Death by Bunga, for sure.
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  152.  @nicholassano2854  Jet engines, cruise missiles, the first night vision on their tanks, and Fanta in the chow hall was always likely to inspire a little jealousy among Allied enlistedmen.
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  153.  @kat_2763  This is not the Yankees vs Red Sox-level inter-fan hoolie violence I was expecting. Please stop smashing my prejudices & expectations. Edit: I gotta ask though...where do you stand on Man United?
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  154. I feel like Chuck the Dozenth would have been BFF's with Jean Paul Jones in another age. Assuming someone could find a room big enough for both of them and their olympic-sized balls.
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  155. Why do I get the feeling Pigs will be the first animal to set hoof Mars? PIGGGGGGGS INNNNNN SPAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace !!
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  156. And still, 21k-130k still die every year to Cholera. Over a century and a half later.
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  157. There are times when I wonder if the 29 crash wasn't deliberate, a way to scare the peasants out of the market and reserve the Golden Goose for the Aristocrats. After all, we do still have the "Qualified Investor" rule sequestering a significant chunk of offerings for either the Wealthy or Professional Traders.
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  158. Ohhh, I hope this is leading up to Elizabeth Bathory soon
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  159. If we can't have universal Vote By Mail, then we bloody well better get an annual Voting Holiday.
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  160. Scores a +5 Vorpal Bird Caller on his loot roll Discovers Wagyu Beef Takes his intern on an away mission to grab some flesh eating nags, gives him an Ensign Ricky task that turns out exactly as expected Successfully defeats the final level of MeToo Murders conjoined triplets in the course of pulling a Cattle Rustlin' job This murder hobo is playing with loaded dice, man
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  161. The story of Tzeentch and Khorne as told by Telemundo
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  162. @QProfesor Giorgio A. Tsoukalos what??
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  163. @QProfesor Giorgio A. Tsoukalos Yes, but I won't.
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  164. Boris Johnson has entered the chat
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  165. Conan the Librarian
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  166. I like to use this parable to remind my kids that they need to stop squabbling, because only together can they overthrow me, else I shall pick them off one at a time as a threat to my rule They're a pretty well behaved team now. Order is established
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  167. CAN YOU SMELL WHAT FREDDY IS COOKIN' ?!???
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