Comments by "Kevin Street" (@Kevin_Street) on "Late Night with Seth Meyers" channel.

  1. This has been the warmest, most friendly and wonderful trip into full blown psychosis that I've ever experienced. Thank you Seth Meyers, thank you Late Night crew, and thank you to all the people who've provided the voices that brought this hallucination to life. You've all done an incredible job over the last couple of months, and I'm sure going to miss this time when you go back into the studio. And yes, Sea Captain, I'll miss you most of all.
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  2. I liked the Netflix jokes the best. "...and cried for a full five seconds before Netflix started blasting a new movie where Kurt Russel plays Santa Claus." And "...watch it on the biggest phone you can find." LOL!
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  3. "...I for one cannot wait to see pictures of their smooth, angular children." I did a legit spit take with that one! No more coffee while watching "Amber Says What."
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  4. Oh, Sea Captain! You missed an easy one. It could have gone like this: SETH: That's like organizing an orgy to tell everyone you have crabs. SEA CAPTAIN: How shellfish of him. See! So easy. In real news, America continues to go mad. There's no doubt Trump will pretend he's still President after losing the election, but I wonder how far he'll take it. I think he'll leave the White House readily enough, but he'll probably start holding rallies again where he can complain to his supporters that he should still be President. For him complaining about the injustice will be more fun than actually subverting the next administration. The real question is what his MAGA crowd will do, if anything.
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  5. "...how the hell did Lee end up with a giant statue and not Grant?" Lee got the statue because southerners wanted to change Lee's narrative from "Civil War loser" to "martyr of the Lost Cause," like William Wallace or all those Christians who got eaten by Lions in ancient Rome. As for Grant... If Grant hadn't become President there might be heroic statues of him. But the perceived mediocrity of his Presidency (later reevaluated positively by historians, but perceived poorly by Americans at the time) kind of zeroed out the gratitude people felt towards him for winning the war.
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  6. "...we think of you as a fancier Canada with nice furniture." That's fair.
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  7. The important thing is that he swears in private, not while speaking to reporters or in speeches. He's conscious of the decorum that a President needs to project.
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  8. Wow, Brolin pretty much owns 2018. He's in two of the biggest movies this year.
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  9. This is like watching a trapeze artist doing cartwheels high above the ground. Just when you think he's going to fall he swings right back up again. I'm not sure why he's doing this segment but it's always incredibly entertaining. Also, thank you for your service Hamburglar.
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  10. I don't think Anderson Cooper wanted to do that interview, or at least he couldn't pretend to be objective and act like the My Pillow Guy is actually worth listening to.
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  11. Well said, Seth. Thank you for a clear explanation of what "defund the police" means. Seems to me they're actually saying "Give less funding to the police, and shift that money into other services that will help people nonviolently." But that's too long to fit on a protest sign.
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  12. It must be so hard for those reporters to sit there and not talk back, especially when Trump is bragging about how Pence can dodge their questions and Kushner is talking about Federal property like it belongs to him. I know it's part of their job to follow the etiquette and only ask questions when they get the chance, but good grief it must take self discipline to not start razzing the stage. They show respect for the Administration even when it shows none for them.
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  13. Aww, your kids are still adorable, even when they're not dressed as wasps. Mask wearing is the best thing Americans can do for each other right now. It's a way of taking control of the situation and doing something to fight the virus regardless of where you live or what dumbass politicians may or may not be doing in your state. Take the power back for yourselves.
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  14. "That's just the description of the author." LOL
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  15. 3. If Trump says "believe me" he knows he's lying and this is gonna be a big one. Pretty sure Seth has mentioned this tic before. 4. If "a lot of people say" or "a lot of people have told me" that means Trump is totally alone in his opinion.
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  16. Yes, exactly. Republicans don't want the government (that they currently run) to do anything except national defense, so they put incompetent people in charge of it.
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  17. He'd probably nominate Judge Jeanine first. Then maybe a tape recording of his own voice.
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  18. Definitely the coolest kid at school.
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  19. This is true of any Trump impression, because they have to be entertaining. The real Trump rants in a way that only makes sense to him in that moment, but impressionists have to make at least a little sense or they'll lose the audience.
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  20. The dog was doing its job. Somebody was breaking the law and the dog was trying to stop them.
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  21. Antony Starr is such a good actor I think a lot of people don't realize how talented he really is. He inhabits the characters so completely we forget that he's acting.
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  22. I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said, except "...who sadly won't ever meet his kids." You never know. The Sea Captain lives in the land beyond imagination that is Seth's in-law's house. Anything can happen there! An old sea dog might even have one last great adventure where he's reunited with his family and everything is all right again. Then they're all killed by the giant claw monster. Btw, Coos Oorlog. Never be afraid to reach for the stars, man.
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  23. The man is uncanny! He sees nuances in the book the publishers don't even know about.
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  24. And they caught the guy! He wasn't even wearing the hat. Those are first rate detectives.
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  25. It's just brilliant.
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  26. Looks like a limited series.
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  27. But Diego actually has balls.
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  28. That's an insult to rabid raccoons.
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  29. Did Trump's hands get a little smaller in each successive story?
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  30. They were so angry they made free stuff for him. That's a special kind of rage.
    11
  31. Memaw, he's makin' fun of me on the TV again!
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  32. This is really funny! Well done, Seth and writers. Well done.
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  33. That's hilarious! No corrections here, I love it when you tell these stories and could listen to them all day. "That's a double negative!" LOL!
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  34. This is the best comment on here.
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  35. It was awesome!
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  36. I think he actually believes the stupid things he says on his show, and because of that he's losing his mind. The more America recovers and begins to prosper the more unhinged Tucker Carlson will become, because he thinks things are supposed to be getting worse.
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  37. "Oh no! Wait a second... " .... "He was a BAD lawyer!" ROFL.
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  38. I originally thought it was pudding for horses, but apparently it's pudding made from horses, which puts a different spin on it.
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  39. Standing wheelbarrow. LOL! You're totally correct, of course. The Republicans are okay with Trump casting doubt on the electoral process because they think in their secret hearts that Democrats have been committing fraud for years. All those non-white people voting... That feels very fishy to them.
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  40. We knew where the door went, even though nobody told us. We always knew.
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  41. His second best impression after Bernie Sanders. They're both hilarious.
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  42. The announcer wanted that to be a home run so much he temporarily convinced himself that it was. It happens to all of us these days, except most people don't correct themselves afterwards,
    9
  43. Might as well slip the flu vaccine in there too, maybe the HPV vaccine as well.
    8
  44. "There is no independent solution to "re-opening the economy" that is independent from a plan to deal with and contain the virus." That's very true. Chris Hayes is 100% right about that, and one of the ongoing tragedies (among so many much larger ones) is that Trump's inability to see both of these problems as a single issue means the US government can't deal with the situation at all. Agencies are pursuing their respective parts of the problem, but with no coordination at the top nothing they do will fix the entire issue. So the government keeps chasing its metaphorical tail, and all the important decisions have to be made on a state level. But states are too small to make collectively effective decisions on the virus, even when groups of them coordinate. If California, Oregon and Washington state open sooner than the East Coast states, it could cause another wave of infections.
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  45. You know how they say that eyes are the window to the soul? With Stephen Miller it's easy to see that no one's home.
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  46. That was definitely a LOL moment.
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  47. And he still had to put a finger on the bottom so he didn't dribble water on his tie. Very presidential motor control there.
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  48. Remember their names because they're AWESOME. :)
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  49. Oh, definitely! That live audience is made out of people who wanted to be there. No doubt they've been watching on TV and maybe online this whole time.
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  50. Trump just isn't that important to American history, there would be no need to detail everything he said and did and all the controversies he was involved in. The history course would probably spend a fair bit of time talking about how America had become so radically polarized between different political parties, and how that polarization opened the door to corruption. Trump himself would be mostly discussed as a symptom of those problems.
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  51. It took me a while to "get" Corrections. At first I thought it wasn't necessary, but then I realized he was making fun of us on YouTube and it became hilarious.
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  52. Welcome back, Seth. Wherever you're broadcasting from (Seriously, where is that?) the audience will still be watching. And congratulations to the Sea Captain on his new marriage.
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  53. There are many legitimate criticisms of Amazon, but Trump manages to miss all of them and just make up stupid crap. It's amazing how he can be so consistently wrong about everything. Also, Alexas are laughing to themselves now? And that could be a sign of the Singularity??? Seth made it a joke but that's creepy enough to be true.
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  54. Ah yes, the famous forest cities of Austria.
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  55. About 50% of the people in Britain have had that same expression for the last two years. It might be permanent at this point.
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  56. "I donated a kidney and they gave it back." LOL! The way he says it really makes the joke.
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  57. Very good point, Matt McIrvin.
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  58. So this is a Count of Monte Cristo situation? Trump crossed Giulani, and in response Giulani spent years working his way onto Trump's legal team so he could skewer the guy at the perfect moment? If only this was the case.
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  59. Yeah, this was the first time I legitimately wanted to correct him. Buck Rogers is a completely different cheesy but beloved late-70's science fiction TV show with a toy line that was inspired by the success of Star Wars.
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  60. I love how that one kid kept his mask on. He's not intimidated.
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  61. Fighting about that stuff is called having a public conversation, and it's extremely healthy for democracy. In this case the candidates are standing in for different blocks of voters when they debate the issues. Just because one half of the United States has become an undemocratic fortress doesn't mean the other half has to follow suit. It's more important than ever to keep democracy alive and have public debates on the issues.
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  62. Yeah, I was thinking Oz as well.
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  63. This is what happens when partisanship gets out of control. If it was a Democratic President being impeached the Republican senators would be paying close attention.
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  64. The ChimpanZoo and Lasagna Pinata are legitimately great.
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  65. It's all Swedish to them. Bork, bork, bork, bork...
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  66. Zing!
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  67. There's no end to the wondrous discoveries in that attic. It's truly a magical place. And this was a great video! I laughed a bunch of times. Sometimes bitterly ironic laughter, but still laughter.
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  68. Trump would've made a deal with Hitler and concentrated on only fighting Japan. Then after a couple of weeks he'd say that he'd won and withdraw the US Navy from the Pacific.
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  69. If you want to learn math on the Internet, khanacademy.org is the best place. And it's free. Another good place that's not free is brilliant.org And both of those websites have lots of other stuff to learn besides math.
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  70. So he stopped himself from making one gaffe only to make another. That's kind of Trump's life in a nutshell.
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  71. Same with Seth's Trump. The impression is so much more interesting and entertaining than listening to the man himself.
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  72. It's great to see David Letterman again! I used to watch him on real TV in the late 80's and early 90's. Just after Johnny Carson and before the late movie. He had a reputation as a rebel who liked to subvert the idea of what a "show" could be.
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  73. It would be very difficult and expensive to send a probe to Oumuamua, mainly because it's travelling away from Earth now and there just isn't time to build something for the job before it disappears. But there is good news! Astronomers think there could be thousands of interstellar objects constantly moving in and out of the Solar System, and now they have a better idea what to look for they might find others more easily.
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  74. That was awesome.
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  75. They were all about running really fast, or apples.
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  76. Yeah, and NASA just said that a regular change in the Moon's cycle is going to cause extra flooding all over the world, amplifying the effects of climate change. It's going to be a lot worse than people realize, especially along the East Coast.
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  77. I could care less about pronunciation. The real gold here is "Giuliani of The Jungle."
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  78. "He sounds the way hot dog water smells." LOL!
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  79. If there was a plot to kidnap him, he'd never stop talking about how huge and dangerous it was.
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  80. He's not a smoker though, and he runs something like 3.5 miles every day. I think he's just really tired.
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  81. No joke, they're having a hard time in Antarctica right now. One of the breeding colonies was destroyed by collapsing ice.
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  82. Being the defender and not the aggressor really helps with those optics.
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  83. Oh man, I felt that eye roll at 6:51 when he mentioned the "I don't see you, you see me" bit. It was like a crossbow bolt to the heart. Btw, Twiki was voiced by the great Mel Blanc of Bugs Bunny fame. Dunno why I mentioned that, but it's pretty neat.
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  84. Me too! But I got my boxes of books from the library.
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  85. Now this is a quality comment.
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  86. Nah, it's "We Gotta Get out of This Place" by The Animals, on non-stop loop.
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  87. I think Trump is mentally incapable of learning because he's gone so long without needing to change his mind about anything, he's negatively conditioned himself to avoid novelty of any kind. We don't normally see people like this because the real world forces everyone to change now and then, but Trump has always been insulated by money from the consequences of his actions, so he's grown this unique hothouse flower of a mental condition.
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  88. It isn't an age problem, it's a political party problem. Judges shouldn't be political, or at the very least they shouldn't owe their job to a politician.
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  89. You're a man of culture, I see.
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  90. It's really scary how close Trump came to subverting democracy in the United States. The only reason it didn't work is because a number of people were more loyal to their country than their political party. And those people have been relentlessly persecuted by the Republicans ever since.
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  91. Is this Jared Kushner's "Operation Airbridge?" I've read that it's a real ****show.
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  92. If this was a world where I had some kind of unlikely influence over who gets Emmy awards, I'd give you one for the "Double Negative" story. That is an all time classic.
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  93. Also, he had a heart attack last year. The man's got to stay safe.
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  94. I think she was talking about their live action show, not the original source material.
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  95. I don't know. He went through the glowing door and ended up at his in-law's house. Who can say what wonders exist there? A talking painting might be the least of it, simply the thing that's easiest for us to comprehend.
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  96. That's what "warrior" means for Trump. In his view everyone exists to serve him. Calling people warriors is just a way to make them feel good about it.
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  97. Zing! That was great.
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  98. French people are known to have enthusiasm for ...somewhat unusual aspects of American culture, like Jerry Lewis movies - but nobody can win against them in a conflict over wine. Their wine culture goes back thousands of years.
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  99. I think success is making Bytternyt complacent. Streaming a black screen for an hour is kind of arrogant. Sure I'd watch it all the way through, BUT ONLY ONCE.
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  100. You know, I find this idea that there are certain words I'm not allowed to say really offensive, and counter to everything liberalism is supposed to be about. There are certain words I shouldn't say and won't say because saying them would hurt others, but that's very different from not being allowed to say them. Once you start caging yourself in a web of unwritten rules that have nothing to do with principle or law, are you really that different from the character in this skit?
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  101. His Bernie airport rant from last week still makes me laugh every time I think of it. "Don't worry, Dear. I'll drive to LaGuardia to restock our supplies!"
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  102. I miss the old days when A Closer Look could make jokes about magical books and wasps writing segues. What was that, ten years ago? Feels like more. Of course this is no time for running gags. A man was slowly murdered on camera, and that's become a tipping point for both people of color and anyone who believes in justice. Somehow all the despair and rage caused by Corona has combined with the festering rage caused by systemic racism and it's just too much for people to bear any longer. They have a right to be angry. Trump doesn't get that, and never will. According to an article I read in Vanity Fair he does understand that all of the cops involved in George Floyd's death should be charged with murder - but any flickers of awareness were quickly extinguished after he talked with Putin on the phone. (Yes, Putin again.) Now Trump is in full "show strength" dominate mode, and he thinks his Rose Garden speech will actually help him with suburban voters. All he really cares about is looking tough and winning the next election, and if anybody stands between him and his goal he'll have them tear gassed.
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  103. Don't let 2020 be another 2000! Vote, and make the margin so large they can't even try to use the courts to take your choice away.
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  104. Oooooo - the non-jailed son is in the school Yearbook club! Did he use his Yearbook powers to put Packer in the stew? And hasn't Detective Delgado been on a roof all this time? I might be misremembering that part.
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  105. The Jeff Wright sketches are awesome!
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  106. We'll miss you guys while you're gone, just like we'll all cheer you when you win your Emmy.
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  107. Technically, Clinton was impeached for lying to a grand jury and for obstruction of justice, all of it stemming from a single lie: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky." Trump has told thousands of lies in every context, and has obstructed prosecutors and Congress over and over, all without suffering consequences.
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  108. There actually is a protocol. It's Mister (or Madam) President, Mister Prime Minister, and so on. It's like when a bunch of doctors are having a conversation, they know from context which Doctor you're talking to at the moment.
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  109. Elizabeth Warren does seem like the candidate with the best policies. I really wonder what her plan to deal with McConnell is though. Seal Team Six?
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  110. Honestly, I'm not sure how much of his agenda Bernie will get to implement. It all comes down to the Senatorial elections. But if he's a good President who doesn't declare war on California, sell the nuclear launch codes to Putin or throw paper towels at disaster victims, he'll be %1000 better than the current guy.
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  111. But... we're the audience. Us and the people who watch the show live. We never left.
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  112. Oh, I believe you jannmutube. It was just the irony of Giuliani pulling off a straight faced long con that appealed to me.
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  113. Scotland has nothing to worry about. If Trump tried to flee anywhere it would probably be Russia.
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  114. You look like Winston Churchill, kid. But don't worry, it's not permanent. You've still got a shot when you grow up!
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  115. Aww, fostering kittens. That's so awesome.
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  116. You know that expression "Perfect is the enemy of good?" That's what Kayleigh McEnany is doing. She thinks it's "nonsensical" to test people for the virus if there's a chance they could catch it after the test. Nevermind how small that chance really is.
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  117.  @jimwally6520  Well said!
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  118. LOL!
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  119. Congratulations!!! And even if you were being sarcastic about the comments, I'm thankful you do Corrections as well.
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  120. He does and says so many awful things, it's hard to keep them all straight.
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  121. ...and then, everybody went crazy.
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  122. It looks like Patty Lyons is the matriarch of our jackal army. All hail the knitting queen! Also, the audiences are cool. We're all Late Night fans in the end. Some of us are in the audience, a lot of us are watching on TV, and some of us are closely watching YouTube clips at quarter speed while obsessively writing notes on anything that might be considered an error. We're all the same!
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  123. So if you voted in Arizona somebody in Montana (whose only professional qualification is "knows the Cyber Ninjas") now has access to your name, home address and who you voted for. That is really scary. I'm not saying they're gathering information on Democratic voters for purposes of intimidation or retribution, not this time. But if this kind of blatantly immoral behavior is allowed and anyone can just make copies of election data, then there will be no such thing as a secret ballot in some states.
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  124. It was a television event, and everyone who watched it will never be the same. I don't know what I'm going to do with my evenings now. Maybe it's time to read the novel.
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  125. Welcome back! We missed you. * something no one has ever said to Matt Gaetz
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  126. PLOT TWIST! Is this the end of the Babysitter's Club?
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  127. Boy you were right, Seth. And we got a preview of what that authoritarian state would look like today.
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  128. Absolutely, Chris Rader. You're 100% right.
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  129. I don't think Trump "won" any of the debates in 2016, but it didn't ultimately matter because the voters who put him over the top happened to live in geographically important states. (IE: they had enough electoral college votes.) In 2020 the Democratic candidate will have to focus on two things: 1. Get back the people who voted for Obama and then later voted for Trump. 2. Convince enough people in those geographically important states that Trump has been terrible for them.
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  130. Well said!
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  131. Who says you never learn anything on the Internet.
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  132. Like others here have said, Fox News goes straight to Defcon 1 and simplifies everything to the point of caricature because that's their business model. They want their audience to be perpetually in a state of fear, excitement and/or rage all the time, because that way the audience will keeping watching Fox.
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  133. Kamala Harris didn't do anything wrong. Her campaign was as broad and populist as it could possibly be. The problem is with Americans. Specifically the 40% or so of Americans who voted for Trump without caring about who the man is or what he actually says. They live in a fantasy world, and that fantasy is bringing their nation into decline. I don't know what anyone can do when the base problem is with the population itself. It seems like a fundamental issue that only time and maybe better education can solve.
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  134. It uses microwaves, but has effects at long distances. It's only like a microwave if your microwave has the ability to cook burritos on the other side of the street.
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  135. A lot of things that Americans think of as unique to their country are really quite widespread. Here in Canada we have stuff like Cheez Whiz and monster trucks - but one thing that truly is unique to America, something you do better than anybody else in the world, is love guns. America genuinely loves guns in a way that no other nation does. In a places like Iraq or Switzerland everybody owns a rifle, but they don't collect them for fun. There aren't handgun magazines and endless debates about how wonderful and noble it is to own firearms. Only in America.
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  136. Now Trump is exposing the staff at the White House to Covid. When they signed on to be housekeepers or waiters I bet that wasn't a risk they expected to take.
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  137. Gonna miss the show while you're gone. Have a great time never thinking about us!
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  138. I'm one of the five people who loves the book gags! Your attic is such a magical place. Mine is just full of boring insulation.
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  139. Seth should be a guest star on the new Night Court. He's got the voice of a New York judge down perfectly.
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  140. Wow, that was great! This Closer Look is killing it.
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  141. This is what Siegen and Manchin refuse to accept - that politics has changed fundamentally thanks to the Republicans. Democrats have one chance to fix things, but there's a timer on how long they've got to show results. If they can't show the American people that Democrats get results by 2022, the window is going to close and Republicans are going to run everything for a long time.
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  142. Corrections is awesome, but Seth was great in the Sea Captain days too. He's excelled in different ways.
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  143. And what's with the government protecting all those kids from being aborted? Not their job.
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  144.  @blowc1612  I'm not going to get into an argument with you over a joke.
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  145. Soon, soon, soon, it will all be over and the focus will shift to how much damage a completely batshit Trump might do before Biden takes over. I think there's at least a 60% chance Trump will quit and let Pence run things until January 20.
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  146. "Submarine Justice 2: Operation Killer Seal" This must exist.
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  147. That one really got to me too. Just the visual...
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  148. Well done! We're clapping on this side of the Internet. Well done, Amber Ruffin I mean. Not well done Trump.
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  149. I'm good. How are you?
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  150. But then Ti-Fresh went viral on TickTock, and now he sells luxury vacations and expensive watches. It's a strange world...
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  151. McConnell is a just a bully who's been backed up against a wall. The Democrats he bullies have finally stood up to him (or said they might stand up to him), and all he's got left is rage and promises of future retribution. But like all bullies, the truth is he'll do those things anyway when he gets the chance, because he enjoys the feeling of power that comes from domination. Don't give him another chance.
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  152. Like Seth said, election day used to be just the day people voted. There was no expectation they'd know the final result within that same day. Same day results weren't even possible until maybe the invention of the telegraph. And because of this there's no law mandating it.
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  153. Still an awesome comment!
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  154. I'll get sick if I want to! * licks raw chicken *
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  155. Sandy Therry, that would be nice, but it would just accelerate the division of everything along party lines. He'd still have his friendly networks and newspapers there to praise him like he wants. And it would be letting him off the hook for all the horrible things he does afterwards, because these press conferences are the only time he ever faces anyone who's not a paid toady. I like TheTrishalyn's answer. The reporters should stay and keep grilling him with tough, uncomfortable questions. Every single time. Make his failures obvious, and he'll still keep coming back because he loves being on TV too much.
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  156. That's a wonderful detail, Sarah B! But how do they pick the person who's going out the window? Do they draw straws, or is based on something else like whoever has the largest bar tab? Maybe the person with the strongest cologne or the ugliest shirt?
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  157. Dumb as that sounds, it's Trump's actual thought process.
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  158. Like the horse is personally at fault for using an illegal substance. "I thought you had guts, Medina Spirit. But you're just another junky!"
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  159. It was really good, but not quite as good as the first time Seth did it. Tucker would never admit that something happened to him specifically. He'd just keep asking ridiculously specific questions in that snarky tone while maintaining an expression that makes it look like someone lobotomized him during the last commercial break.
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  160. Congratulations on the prime time special! Hilarious (and scary) as always. Btw, I've never seen a raccoon in real life (we don't have them here), but it seems like a pretty cute infestation. Definitely better than mice and rats.
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  161. That was a great joke. And Trump is the guy who thinks you need photo ID to buy breakfast cereal, so it's not even a stretch.
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  162. This is hilarious! I was laughing through the whole thing. It looks like it's really hard to set up, but you pulled off the sketch perfectly.
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  163. That's gonna be a quote that everyone remembers when they think about this time.
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  164. Ordinary Americans are "left of center" though somehow they've been convinced that they're not. The true center should be further left than it is perceived to be. Millions of conservative Americans keep voting for people that represent beliefs far to the right of their own, but somehow they keep thinking their chosen party represents them. It's deception, and self deception of massive proportions.
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  165. This "A Closer Look" is really funny. It's about serious and terrible things, but I wanted to let you know that I laughed out loud a number of times. The funniest joke (imo) is the one about how you started getting mail when you were stuck on the Brooklyn Bridge. I've never been to New York, but that one is really relatable. Oh, and I groaned at the seal Op Ed. It still worked without an audience. But it should have been written by P. Bear. Just sayin'. Also, Tom Cotton is really scary. That dude should not be in any position of authority, ever again.
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  166. Creating the organizational infrastructure for mass testing and contact tracing should be an absolute federal government priority. It isn't safe to continue the lockdown indefinitely, nor is it safe to restart the economy without bringing the virus under some sort of control. Right now the situation is a lethal double-bind, so Trump's administration should be working 24/7 to get the United States out of this situation. But no, they'd rather just try to restart the economy without any precautions and let people die. All they can think of is the lowest effort solution and damn the cost that other people will have to pay.
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  167. I'm no fan of Trump, but I can't help but feel that Eminem is being petty in his video (Seth Meyers is joking, which makes it different). Eminem may legitimately despise Trump, and can say so any time he likes, but trying to force his fans to copy his opinions by saying "it's him or me" is the kind of crap that Republicans like George W Bush have always pulled. It's not liberal at all, even if there probably aren't any Eminem/Trump fans to start with.
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  168. Trump has the real life version of a Monkey's Paw Curse. He's wealthy, powerful and successful, but no one will ever love or respect him. And deep down he knows it.
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  169. The stock market isn't the economy but it does represent more than just the interests of the elite. These days most people depend upon investments for their retirement. Recessions are only temporary, so having one now wouldn't be that bad for most people who are invested in the market, they can just wait it out. But a recession-induced drop in stock prices would absolutely hurt anyone who's retiring in 2019 or maybe 2020.
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  170. Elizabeth Warren is the best person to be president after Trump. He's a force of destruction, and she's a builder. With all her policy ideas she's the one who can fix things after too many years of hypocrisy and indecision from the top.
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  171. The video is funny, but I disagree with Seth Meyers and the Democrats n this issue. People grow and change. They also make mistakes when they're young. If Northam continued to believe that he did nothing wrong, or if he broke a law or hurt someone, then he should resign. But if that's not the case then he should stay on and do everything he can to be a better person now than he was then. This scandal is just another example of Republicans digging up someone's dirty laundry as a form of political assassination, and the Democrats enthusiastically enabling them.
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  172. The karate picture brought it all home.
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  173. Obviously it would be foolish to reopen the economy too soon, but I really hope it happens as soon as it can be safely done. The economic and social effects of this shutdown are devastating and only getting worse as it goes on. I really don't think the US economy (or any other) can survive being shut down like this for the rest of the year. We're flirting with a second great depression here. If the pro-open position was championed by someone other than Donald Trump it would be possible to have a more rational and complete public debate about tradeoffs and necessary precautions - but because he's the public face of the pro-open side it loses legitimacy and ends up looking like something that would only be done to benefit him.
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  174. I'll always love the Sea Captain. As for Trump, only Baphomet knows why millions of people were waiting all their lives for an obese, diaper wearing, incompetent businessman with dementia and rage problems they could swear eternal allegiance to.
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  175. It's amazing how selfish Trump is. To him it's just normal behavior and he doesn't even try to hide it. He thinks everyone acts that way.
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  176. He really should've been President. Bernie is on of the few politicians who actually deserves the job.
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  177. I wonder if there'd be some sort of tax exemption for people who are on Medicare, and people who are currently uninsured.
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  178. Thank you for continuing to do your show! It's much appreciated.
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  179. One of the novels in the stack behind Seth is "The Laughing Policeman." That's a deep cut. It's hard to believe that Seth or his family are into Swedish mystery novels from 1971, so maybe this is evidence that the books really are spontaneously breeding...
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  180. Are we talking the original meaning of batman here - that is, a personal servant to a commissioned officer? Because I can see that happening. (Maybe he was an old dude who served Seth's granddad in the war. That would explain the books.) Or are we talking about the more modern and nonsensical Batman? I really hope it's the latter.
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  181. Oh, I didn't know that. Thanks for the info, Andreas Cassne. RIP, Ms. Sjöwall. :-(
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  182. You know that picture from the GOP debate ( at 3:29 ) where it looks like Trump is farting and getting kicked in the balls at the same time? That should be the basis for his official Presidential portrait.
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  183. When the first sketch artist actually drew the puma biting his arm... Genius! This sketch is hilarious.
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  184. Whoa, this bit went from funny to incredibly disturbing.
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  185. Thank you for all the laughs. It's really meant a lot to have this one place where we can relax and laugh about the absurdity of this ever changing world. Even when (maybe especially when) we're laughing at the ridiculousness of our own over-reactions to things you say. Jackals indeed.
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  186. This was a great segment! I laughed a bunch of times. Sometimes bitterly ironic laughter, but still laughter... Oh, and the book jokes aren't labored. They're awesome!
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  187. Seth, trust me. Up here in Canada we're looking at what's happening to the US with nothing but unmitigated horror. There's no irony or cynicism. We can't believe it's gotten so bad.
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  188. I agree 100%, and you make an important point here that many people might not want to think about: the Republicans objecting to the election are trying to accomplish the same goal as the insurrectionists who stormed the House. They're just trying to do it by convincing their fellow Congressmen and Senators with words instead of holding them at gunpoint.
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  189. Oh man, I can see two possible futures here. In one Trump runs for President in 2024 and it's pretty much civil war, and in the other he goes to jail and the Republicans end up fielding someone like Ted Cruz or Matt Gaetz (assuming he's not in jail either) and go down to defeat.
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  190. Thank you for doing this segment! It's something that people really need to know about, because despite all that's been done so far America's small businesses are still in desperate need. Why did Trump's administration create a complex loan program that needed the involvement of banks? They could have done what other countries have successfully done in this crisis and just cut each small business a cheque. That way there's no cheating and no need for complex rules, the IRS (or whomever) could just send the money directly where it needs to go.
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  191. Don't let the Republicans steal your election! Don't let them hypnotize you into thinking this is inevitable! Vote!
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  192. VERY COOL!
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  193. Andy Capp! You know that strip has been running since 1957? That's a long time on the dole. Trump is only taking Covid-19 seriously now because his friend Stanley Chera is a coma thanks to the virus. When it happens to someone he actually knows, THEN it becomes real to him.
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  194. It's weird how Stephen Miller seems to be the only person in that family (maybe that entire community) to develop such a hatred for immigrants. It's like this is how he rebelled against his parents, and he's still rebelling at 33.
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  195. Wow, the existential horror of everyday life in 2021. Maybe he should have asked what kind of dog it was?
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  196. Thanks, MossyMozart. I hear it's a tremendously well paid profession. That's why Seth's writers look so rich.
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  197. At least the crabs know what they're doing. Always go with someone experienced, if you go at all.
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  198. You made a REALLY good point about insulin.
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  199. I think they waited for it to be over the ocean so they could shoot it down and recover as much as possible.
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  200. What he said makes sense. Reach out, once , and try to work with Republicans. If they say no, then stop trying to appeal to them and get on with the business that has to be done. There's only two years to fix all this stuff, then the American people get to have their say - and if nothing gets done before that time it'll become exponentially harder to get anything done in the last two years.
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  201. "...wait until you see what you release." LOL!
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  202. That was a really good interview! Chris Hayes is both thought provoking and clear. And boy, he sure makes a great case that the Democrats have to do more to try and secure your elections in November! A 50 state repeat of Wisconsin is horrifying to think about, both for the unnecessary loss of life and for the total mess it would make of the election's legitimacy. The results would be argued in court for years. It might not happen (And here's hoping it doesn't!) but anyone who truly cares about having a legitimate election in November has to takes steps now in case the virus is still a factor then.
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  203. Moderates, Keen James. Moderates who don't officially identify with either party. They're the prized demographic that every politician wants to attract.
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  204. Seth's version of the Lincoln/Douglas debates is really funny. And the point of this segment is well made. People like Rubio were right about Trump in 2016, but they're not allowed to say or do anything that could be interpreted as anti-Trump today. For the Republican senators the trial is a waste of time because their fear of being primaried and losing their jobs is greater than their desire to serve the Constitution.
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  205. Put extra sugar in his Coke?
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  206. But in regard to those Trump tariffs on aluminum and steel, they were imposed through executive action. Biden could remove all of them with the stroke of a pen, it wouldn't require any consultation with other branches of government or compromises on other initiatives. And the same thing is true of the China tariffs. Trade policy is an area where the President has wide latitude, that's why Trump spent so much time messing it up. I think the truth is that Biden likes the tariffs, but doesn't want to publicly state that agrees with Trump on anything. So he gives the impression that he'll get around to lifting them when he has the time, but that time will never come.
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  207. I guess it all comes down to if you think impeachment would actually accomplish anything. Pelosi knows that the Senate would never allow Trump to be impeached, so she's afraid of the political consequences of what would turn out to be a purely symbolic action. Other Democrats want to proceed with impeachment because it's the proper legislative remedy for a President who's been involved with so much underhanded and criminal activity. They still have faith in the system.
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  208. As opposed to "7 Days In May," I take it.
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  209. Taylor Swift is awesome, but I think meeting Caroll Spinney would truly be the experience of a lifetime. Big Bird! No joke, I envied Seth when he was telling that story.
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  210. Seth's Tucker Carlson impression is perfect . "And then he and his friends, they push you down the stairs. Imagine that!" LOL!
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  211. I've noticed that Seth's best jokes are when he pretends to be a fictional Donald Trump that's sort of a cross between Homer Simpson and Mister Magoo. That's where the laughs come from: not knowing where he's going next but he's sure it starts with "N," sneaking immigrants onto Air Force One inside his coat, "you'll need a search warrant for my belly," and so on. The real Donald Trump isn't that funny anymore because his awful behavior never stops.
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  212. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles wear masks so you can tell who they are, thanks to the color. They're like the opposite of every other mask wearing superhero.
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  213. The Republicans really believe that most people have to be forced to work. I think in their minds too much government assistance would be a doomsday scenario because then nobody would do the lowest paying jobs.
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  214. Sugar cubes are what powers the wish magic.
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  215. This is legitimately awesome!
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  216. That's a bold move by Tiny Secret Whispers, stalling their narrative momentum to do an entire flashback episode in middle school. And is it a detective agency that investigates babysitters, or babysitters that formed a detective agency? I assume the latter, but who can knows with Butternut.
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  217. This Closer Look was ON FIRE. (Just like Seth's cigarette.) Really hilarious.
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  218. All hats are double sided... You don't need to "correct" that, because it's not a mistake. Somebody was just being pedantic.
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  219. If it's not made out of possum, what is it made out of?
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  220. I don't get why so many Republicans are still (as of Tuesday) refusing to admit the inevitable. George W Bush congratulated Biden on his win, but guys like McConnell and Lindsey Graham are still saying the election has yet to be decided. The best theory I've heard is they want to keep their base fired up for the Senate runoff elections in Georgia, but that doesn't seem like a good enough reason to me when you consider the damage they're doing to their reputations. Cut your bait, Republicans. Trump is done. Let him sink, don't let him take you down with him.
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  221. Splish splash.
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  222. Man, I envy your Americans with your rapid vaccinations. If only my country could do it that fast. I still don't even know anybody who's been vaccinated. Could be months before I get one. But anyway, it's clear the Republicans are massive hypocrites and always have been. You're absolutely right that they're trying to cancel Fauci and punish baseball for purely partisan reasons.
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  223. Trump is uninterested in doing the actual work of governing, so he leaves policies and the like to his subordinates. (Though he does enjoy taking actions that can't be challenged by others like pardons.) He thinks of the Presidency as being a sort of cheerleader for the United States, and his real concern is what people are thinking and talking about. In his head if he can get people to stop talking about Coronavirus, the virus itself will somehow go away, or fade to a low background level. His concern is almost totally with appearances and not with reality.
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  224. This is really good! I think we can all relate to the three Jeffs. It's hard to keep doing constructive things when the whole world seems to be burning down around you. But Jeff 1 has the right of it. Someday (hopefully soon) this will be over and normal life will return. We'll have to get rid of the Covid pounds eventually, so why not do it right now?
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  225. Welcome back!
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  226. I like both the Sea Captain and Nebbishy Duck. Actually I may way too obsessed with these characters... Anyway, whenever Trump criticizes a woman now I just assume he's really talking about his mother. "She was nasty to a level that was just a horrible thing." "I thought she was the meanest , the most horrible, most disrespectful of anybody in my family... I mean, the US Senate."
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  227. This was a really good one.
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  228. These Jeff Wright videos are amazing.
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  229. That was really well done!
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  230. Their leader made up an Emergency to build his wall, so why wouldn't the other side make up climate change? That's the kind of projection that's going on. If my side is doing X, then those no-goodniks on the other side must be doing X+1!
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  231. That was great! Really well done and funny. "...I bought some bombs to impress some friends." "You called me?" "Not right now, Bombs. Stay in the back, I'll let you know when it's lit." "Allright."
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  232. Welcome back! Pretty much nothing has changed while you were gone.
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  233. Oh wow, this is super cool! Really awesome guests.
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  234. It's never going to happen, but just imagine if Nancy Pelosi became the first female President due to the impeachment of both of her male predecessors...
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  235. Lindsey Graham threatening to make sure Trump's impeachment is a complete and thorough investigation of everyone involved in the Capital insurrection is like Sheriff Bart taking himself hostage in Blazing Saddles. Stay back now or I'll blow myself away!
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  236. Welcome back! It's great to laugh instead of just cry again. I'm sorry we're all in this mess, but I'm glad you're here to point out the absurdities and keep reminding us of the way things should be.
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  237. I'm shocked, Sea Captain! Who could have ever guessed a sailor would use such language! Aren't you a knight of the sea? And yes, puns are the lowest form of comedy, but they're a welcome respite from the endless awfulness of the real world. Any respite from the real world is welcome right now. I wish I had magical talking objects in my house to take my mind off the news. I mean, the vodka bottles are sort of calling to me, but that's not the same thing.
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  238. Also, that bust of Lincoln better find its way back to the White House. Ain't no way he's getting away with that one.
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  239. Oh, we absolutely want to live a lie, as he put it. John Oliver may be almost unique in his desire to emphasize the truth.
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  240. It surprised me that they booed their lord and master, but this is probably just a timing problem. Fox and the rest of the right wing fictional universe didn't know Trump was pro-vaccine now. Give them a week to pivot and they'll start flooding the airwaves with "take the Trump vaccine" stories.
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  241. Arr arr arr!
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  242. That was great. You described Tucker Carlson anime fan so well it was like a movie playing in my imagination. "Crikey! There's a snake on me desk! Where's the blunderbuss?"
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  243. It's nice to breathe again.
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  244. It certainly isn't a good thing to have so many media and social media sites owned by a small group of billionaires, but the difference between that and having the companies owned by a bunch of shareholders is more a matter of degree than an absolute line between good and bad. The real problem is that everything is filtered through such a small number of media outlets and apps. Once upon a time the news media was far larger and more diverse, and public opinion was shared through millions of email list-servs and message boards. Now everything is funneled through a smaller and smaller gate, and that makes manipulation and censorship easier.
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  245. Seth is absolutely right. It is ridiculous that they're trying to confirm Trump's nominee for the Supreme Court when the President himself looks more and more unfit for office, even according to people who work for Trump. But that's the whole reason the Republicans are still supporting Trump - they want Kavanaugh in there so he can use the Supreme Court to hold back any future Democratic Administration. The Republicans know they're going to get obliterated in 2018 (and probably 2020), but with a conservative court they think they can hold the "gains" they've made over the last two years (the tax lowering and regulation slashing). It's party before country for them.
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  246. The stimulus bill and vaccinations are the most important events happening in America, of course, but I think the conservatives (not just Republicans but conservative media) outmaneuvered the left on this Dr. Seuss thing, in the sense that they got people on the left arguing with each other about a non issue. I personally don't watch Fox News or look at any right-wing websites. I learned about the Dr. Seuss story from this show and other late night shows like Colbert, and the framing you all gave it was "it's time for some Dr. Seuss books to go away." I and many other people who might be characterized as center-left objected to this because it sounded like you're okay with censorship. Like it's a good thing to prevent kids from learning some books even exist because they contain racist imagery that, like toxic chemicals, might rot out any young minds that are exposed to it. This kind of censorship based on the emotion of disgust has been the bane of literature for centuries, although it usually comes from the right and is concerned with obscenities and religious and sexual imagery rather than racism. But that's precisely why it's so surprising to see the same impulse coming from the left. Or at least that's what I thought because that's the impression you gave. It turns out the whole controversy is just about a publisher deciding not to publish some of its books any longer, which is the kind of decision publishers make every day. If you had framed it that way at the beginning, as Republican politicians trying to tell publishers what to do, then you could have avoided the subsequent argument about censorship. But when you said that cancel culture isn't a thing, or that we shouldn't be concerned about it, you stepped right into their trap.
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  247. Tyra Winters is a real hero!
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  248. Some day, if movies are still being made, somebody will make a documentary that entirely consists of clips of Trump arguing with himself.
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  249. It was really funny, but I think Seth needs an audience for this bit to get some feedback.
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  250. Well, we're still out here in audience land, in all our millions. I hope you can keep the show going through this pandemic, even if it needs to change in form.
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  251. "Who's the smartest guy here? Me? Oh, that's not good." Seth's Trump impression is much more charming and self aware than Trump himself.
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  252. It doesn't mean much, but at least Mike Pence recognized that he'd done something wrong and had to be careful in his response. (So careful he froze up and said nothing.) Trump would just plow through with some comment about how nice his resort is and not even realize the reporter thought he was wrong.
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  253. And that's it, the last time you have to do one of these segments on Trump! Everything feels lighter and better today.
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  254. I'm glad Slovakia has been so successful in dealing with the virus, and in producing vital equipment like ventilators. It's not a competition, we're all on the same team here and the enemy is Covid.
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  255. Susan B. Anthony and Billy Graham... That one's going straight to the 3 AM nightmare file.
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  256.  @nickwallette6201  My understanding (as a regular person on the Internet, not a doctor) is that it isn't known how long natural immunity to Covid will last. There's a chance that someone who already had Covid will have immunity for a while, but it will gradually decrease over time. The vaccine is a way to wake up and optimize your immune system so you can be sure you won't get or transmit the virus. Also the MRNA vaccines target a specific part of the virus that isn't likely to mutate, so if you're vaccinated you should have a resistance to all of the variant strains out there.
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  257. I would LOVE this to be aliens, but it's not aliens. There's just more stuff floating around up there than we normally realize. Sort of floaty drones filled with helium, instead of drones with propellers.
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  258. Drunk Huckleberry Hound. :-) I don't know why Trump would talk to Woodward after Woodward already wrote a book critical of Trump, but he did. I can only conclude that Woodward has some kind of strange mesmerizing effect on politicians. Woodward tells them outright that he's recording everything, but at some point the interviewee forgets they're on the record and starts talking like they're two buddies having a conversation. He lulls them into being honest, and it even works on a liar like Trump. As for the President, this revelation makes it clear (in case it wasn't incredibly obvious already) that he views his public statements, and really any communication between the US government and its people, as a sales opportunity instead of an opportunity to inform. His government doesn't tell you things, they try to sell you things.
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  259. It's like the line from that poem by Yeats: "The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity." Old Senator Johnson there says he's going to "resist" the Democrats just because they're Democrats, and every Republican is right there behind him. Meanwhile the Democrats are negotiating with themselves to reach a compromise that no one likes. I don't know what can be done about Democrats like Manchin, but something needs to be done to bring him into line. In normal circumstances Manchin's dissension would be a welcome part of the Democratic process, but these aren't normal circumstances. The Democrats have two years to fix the current mess and make a case to Americans that they should be allowed to govern even longer. That's it, two years. And if they fail they could be shut out of power for another decade.
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  260. Maybe you were inspired by the subject matter or something, but this was really funny! When Seth said MGT thought it would take 5-7 years to complete the puzzle I nearly choked.
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  261. If only it was a fun new cocktail...
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  262. Wasn't slavery one of the main reasons for the Electoral College? All this stuff interconnects and feeds off itself throughout history. A system that was designed to give slave holding states electoral votes (by counting slaves as part of the state population but not actually letting them vote directly) gives rural, Republican-leaning states outsize influence today. And without the electoral college Trump would never have been elected President.
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  263. Thank you all for continuing to do your show in such trying times. Out here in comment-land we really needed the laughs! Back when we couldn't buy toilet paper and had to spend weeks trapped inside, it was so nice to check in with Seth every day and watch as he gradually turned his attic into a land of the imagination. He embodied our frustrations, but in a funny way also transcended them by making the attic seem like such a fun place. Then you brought that same energy back to the studio and made your show seem like a daily conversation with friends. All the continuing in-jokes (like "Cicada Cicada") and silly impressions are the kind of thing friends do when they talk, except funnier because you're actual comedians. It's been a much appreciated antidote to pretty much everything else going on, and I'm sure it'll continue to be so when the audiences come back.
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  264. The PRO act is exactly what governments should be doing for their people. It directly addresses one of the sources of inequality in America - the declining power of unions. I hope it passes in the Senate. At least Congress is trying to make a difference, even when they can't be sure they'll succeed.
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  265. "...the 2020 election is really the last chance we have to stop our system from fully sliding into a corrupt banana republic." How did America get to this point? All those laws, all the people who interpret them and carry them out, in a nation of 300 million well educated people that has a continuous history of democracy going back 244 years - all of it impotent and helpless against the the impulses of a single corrupt idiot, because he happens to be in the same party as the politicians of one chamber of the House. It should never have come down to a single election.
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  266. In the NYT Paul Krugman was saying that Trump and most Republicans are reactionaries. Trump doesn't know anything about the Confederacy or care about the Civil War, but he instinctively gets angry whenever minorities appear to score a "win." You can also hear it in the way Tucker Carlson talks: "No matter what they do to you." Like life is a contest between "us" and "them," and any victory for "them" is a loss for "us." The reactionary's world can never include everyone, there always has to be an other to be kept down, so the in-group can know they're on top.
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  267. Who's complaining? Not me! I'm grateful you can still do these shows. If we can't laugh about all the bad stuff it feels much worse. And those wasps are completely adorable.
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  268. You still have an audience of human beings! We're just stuck in our homes like you are. Wait, elephant rocker? Is that like a rocking horse but an elephant?
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  269. Have you heard about a new game called Ocean Master? It's supposed to be pretty fun.
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  270. MASH was a great show. Still is on DVD. As for Gaetz, his spectacular flame out shows that "Trumpism" isn't an ideology - it's just the reality distortion field around one weird old guy from Queens. When other politicians imitate Trump and live like they'll never suffer consequences for their actions, they get brought down hard.
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  271. Aww... Nebbishy duck. Such a change from normal ducks, who'll mug you for your popcorn. Then they all disappear and the real master of the ornamental pond shows up - the swan.
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  272. Congratulations on 1000 episodes! That's a lot of laughs. In times like these, shows like yours are more valuable (and appreciated) than ever.
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  273. When she slips into a mid-Atlantic accent, you know things are serious.
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  274. That was great. You're totally right and that piece was full of really good jokes. I think my favorite was the extended story of Biden and the mean kids on bikes.
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  275. Well I'm going to miss this show while you're gone. The clarity of General Milley's speech certainly contrasts with the semi-incomprehensible rants that Republicans go on these days. And for me it highlights something kind of important. The Defense Department may get wrapped up in its own byzantine complexity at times, but at the end of the day they exist to do something real: defend America against actual, physical enemies. People at the top like Milley have to stay rooted in reality, because if they didn't they might lose the next war. They can't afford to get lost in fantasy land. Meanwhile the Republican Party is pretty much the exact opposite. All they care about is conspiracy theories and fantasies generated within the right wing sphere, to the point where Republicans often don't make much sense to people who aren't immersed within that sphere. Obedience and conformity of thought are what they strive for now, because they've realized that their traditional contact with reality, the election, no longer matters. As long as they have their fanatical base and control enough state governments to engage in voter suppression and gerrymandering, they're always going to get reelected. So why bother engaging in reality at all. That kind of thinking is farcically wrong, of course. Planet Earth is not fantasy land, and at some point the Republicans will have to face a reckoning. But they don't think it'll ever come, so long as they believe in the right things.
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  276. I know this is a bit, but I just don't care for the idea. You have no need to correct yourself. A comedian is like a shark, laying down the laughs and moving on.
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  277. Bernie Sanders is totally right about using reconciliation to pass that relief bill. The objection, as I understand it, is this will anger Republicans and undercut Biden's desire for bipartisanship. But the Republicans are already mad that Democrats exist in the first place and using reconciliation isn't going to make them hate their opposition any more than they already do. Their Hate knob broke off at the maximum setting some time back. What reconciliation will do is show the Republicans they're currently in a weak position and they can't bluff the Democrats into treating them like they're stronger than they really are. (Like in Obama's first two years.) Maybe that will force the more pragmatic among them to work with the Democrats once in a while. Probably not, but even it doesn't change the Republicans, that bill will give hundreds of millions of people the relief they need.
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  278. It's more like a shady dentist who's lost his practice three or four times recommending brake pads. If it was an actual dentist I trusted with my teeth doing the recommending I'd at least briefly consider his opinion on other things. No way I'd let Trump anywhere near my mouth.
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  279. No, Seth! Don't go through the door! Well, I loved the attic gags over the last couple of months, and it was great to see the return of all the mutated books. "The Born Turds," heh. Now that Seth has gone to a place beyond human imagination, what will become of this show?
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  280. It's a sign that Trump is constantly hopped up on British made Sudafed. I'm not sure what he gets out of it, maybe it's just the caffeine. There are rumors that he takes Adderall too.
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  281. Yes, that's true. But the Sudafed in his desk in that famous photo is the kind that uses phenylephrine: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/sudafed-trump-tower/ So it shouldn't be as stimulating. I dunno. It's hard to say anything for sure with Trump, because he's a grumpy old man who sometimes just does things because he's set in his ways. All I feel confident in saying is that he takes a ton of Sudafed, and that's why he constantly sniffs. It could be he got hooked on it when it contained pseudoephedrine and just hasn't noticed that the ingredient changed. Or maybe he uses them like they're caffeine pills.
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  282. "It's been a hard week for everyone." Especially the horse! I guess it's grazing in the Elysian Fields now. But on the bright side, the props department now has enough pudding for a month.
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  283. I love the graphic where Trump is running away from the chicken leg!
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  284. Subtle, like John Cleese and Rowan Atkinson. ;-)
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  285. I wish Bernie Sanders had a real chance to become President. Not just because he'd be good for your country (he would), but also because Seth's Bernie impression is pure gold. You make me laugh every time with that one. "It was fine." 😄
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  286. Four more years of Trump or another MAGA inspired Republican is bad enough, but the situation is actually worse than that. If Democrats can't show the American people that they can actually make the country a better place (as opposed to playing games and fighting with each other like usual), there's a good chance the Republicans could win back the Senate or Congress in 2022. Then nothing would get done for two years. Nothing at all.
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  287. Just the Internet.
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  288. "...Also can we please dispense with this ridiculous fiction that the court somehow isn't political. That's all it is. They want us all to act like it's the Jedi Council soberly deliberating over what's best for the galaxy, when it's really just a group of Republicans and Democrats, nominated by Republicans and Democrats, who do the things Republicans and Democrats want them to do..." That's true, but also deeply sad. (Maybe it's weird for someone from another country to say this, but I do admire your system of government and the ideals it's built upon.) The Supreme Court is supposed to be impartial. The fact that it's not impartial but is instead driven by the same political parties that captured the rest of your system is a serious problem. That makes the Court less relevant and less fair, and threatens it's future as an institution. But this isn't the time for addressing those kind of problems. Right now this is a time for survival, and heading off the Republicans as they try to bring everything down. And in that context I'm sure Biden will make an excellent pick. But it's still sad how choosing a Supreme Court Justice has become a sort of political beauty contest.
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  289. My comment seems to have disappeared. That is concerning.
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  290. I'm so glad you're back!
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  291. If real life has become a TV drama, this is the point where the Coronavirus subplot has just merged with the main story. Looks like there's no more one-and-done episodes left, and the plot is going to just keep building and building until the climax in November.
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  292. The weirdest thing about Trump's recent actions is they actually make feel a little sympathetic to the dictatorial government of Iran. I mean they're still a bunch of murderous thugs, but it must be maddening to deal with Trump's ever changing demands, with such huge stakes on the line. They're on the brink of a devastating war, but no one can figure out what Trump wants, or how to satisfy him. His cabinet ministers say one thing, then he says another...
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  293. I think you just have to convict Trump on something, any one of the many crimes he's committed, to show that he's not made of Teflon. Then all the other indictments will come raining down as prosecutors gain confidence that they can get him.
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  294. What would America be like if big businesses and rich people paid the amount of tax they actually owe? If all the loopholes were closed how much extra money would the US government receive? Seems like it should be a lot.
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  295. A Closer Look is really on fire today!
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  296. The sad thing is I believe that Trump thought he was joking in that press conference. He can't understand, or refuses to believe, that soliciting foreign interference in an election is a crime, so he did it a couple of times in front of the cameras just to excite the reporters.
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  297. The woman who held up that sign has disappeared. Imagine the courage it took to knowingly throw away your entire future to get a message out to the Russian people.
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  298. Oh yeah, you're right. Guess I should have Googled that first. She's back after being detained and fined. But it looks like they could still send her to jail for up to 15 years if they feel like prosecuting her under their new law.
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  299. Admitting the Republican Party has no future without Donald Trump is an extraordinary statement for Lindsey Graham to make. In an ordinary world this would be interpreted as a stinging criticism of the party, since the Republicans are supposed to represent the interests of millions of Americans and not just one man - but this isn't an ordinary world. In this world Republicans can say anything at all and no one questions them, so long as they signify support for their side. Ted Cruz publicly admitted that he took donations from corporations for corrupt reasons, and no one cares. As far as her party is concerned, Liz Cheney's one error was public criticism of the team.
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  300. This was awesome.
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  301. Jackalin' or Jacklyn? It's viewer's choice.
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  302. You guys really killed it with A Closer Look tonight. (Or last night I guess.) For some reason the Giuliani jokes crack me up every time. Probably because there's always a picture to go along with any insult. He does look like somebody wired up his nards. As for Trump, if ISIS praised him on TV and somehow managed to book a floor on one of his hotels, Trump would 100% be pro-ISIS. "Such a strong organization. Very strong."
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  303. This was pretty funny!
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  304. Loved the Werner Herzog impression!
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  305. Trump has done so many awful things it's hard to keep being outraged, but it's useful to remember what he's doing here. Trump wants to take away your votes . He's trying to wheedle and horse trade with Georgia election officials to "find" the votes he needs, like votes were bags of hay or something and not the tabulated desires of the people he's supposed to represent.
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  306. From what I heard Fox's "mistake" was not carefully pre-screening the audience to only be Republicans. They let anyone come to the town hall, so the audience ended up being a more accurate cross section of America than they're used to.
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  307. What really gets me is how the business egg (Kudlow) just assumes that everyone "on both sides of the aisle" would agree with him about the government payment being a disincentive to work. Like it's so obvious he doesn't have to justify it. It shows how deeply ingrained the idea is in Republican ideology that you have to force people to work. They think that raising the minimum wage or increasing benefits would somehow encourage workers to be lazy and thus be a drag on the economy.
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  308. Lookit that ham sandwich. It's sad.
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  309. America's vaccination turnaround is incredible. You really are leading the world in that metric right now. I wish Canada was vaccinating people as fast as the US, but we're not even close. It just shows how powerful the United States is when you finally set out to do something.
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  310. I think the drones are pretty much like Biden said, although he mumbled a bit and made his point sound unclear. The first drones that went over the military bases were official, I think it was a "red team" kind of thing where someone was authorized to probe security and see where it could be improved. But after that made the news, everyone started flying their personal drones at night, to freak people out and get attention. And that's all this is, a bunch of people playing pranks at night. It's a fad (like the creepy clowns of 2016) and it'll die off when people get bored.
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  311. Just wanted to say that Jets joke is hilarious! I'm not even into American football, but there's always teams like that in every sport. "Okay, you guys see what happened here? We forgot to ...what? Tackle. We forgot to tackle." "...Okay guys, love to not go through this every week."
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  312. Won't notice what? That was a great Closer Look. Also, Trump telling Republicans not to vote is like a monkey paw wish. On the surface it sounds wonderful, but there's some terrible catch that won't be apparent until later. But at least for now we can enjoy the sight of the Republican party roasting on a spit of their own making.
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  313. "You see, Mr. Bond, I want to destroy America!" And half of America is nodding their heads. "Yeah, we need some destroying. That's a dude I can have a beer with."
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  314. "...just don't let that old tree with a face hold me again!" LOL. Also, awww. Poor woodchuck. It's not like they want to be part of this tradition.
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  315. I enjoyed watching the video, but this is one of the rare times I disagree with Seth. I don't watch Fox News, and I haven't read any of the Dr. Seuss books in question, but I just can't support censorship. Not even voluntary censorship done by the publisher like in this case. The ideal solution would be to just leave everything alone, keep publishing the books and let parents decide if they want their children to read them. A not-so-good solution is what they're doing by discontinuing the books. The worst solution would be to do what Seth suggests: replace the offending parts with "corrected" images and texts. I just don't think we have the right to alter someone else's work, whether that's a children's book, an old cartoon or a classic novel. They used to call that bowdlerization, and when the Victorians did it to Shakespeare they were rightly mocked.
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  316. The worse thing about all this is that for millions of Americans it normalizes the idea that Democrats aren't a legitimate political party and votes for Democrats don't count. It seemed like the Republicans had a special level of hate for Obama because he was African American (Remember that Congressman who yelled "You lie!" at Obama during the state of the Union? Nobody used to do that.), but now their feeling that Obama wasn't a "real" President has apparently transferred to Joe Biden. It seems there's no "down" button for hate, the intensity just rises with every election. So now millions of people think it's okay to refight the election for weeks and use the courts to get votes thrown out. What will they be okay with four years from now?
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  317. The kid afraid of the monster under his bed and the Seinfeld digressions are really funny. They're like chocolate chips in a very sad and enraging cookie. And I think Fox News is worse than Newman. At least Newman was lawful evil - he might be out to get you but he'd never bring down the postal system or anything. That was a sweet job and he wanted to keep it. The bloviators on Fox are just interested in ratings and don't care about the consequences of the things they say.
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  318. Wow, Rush Limbaugh... Is seriously using a bunch of cannibals as an example to look up to? Not the farmers from the 30's, or the Continental Army at Valley Forge, or the kids in the Civil Rights protests of the 60's who were attacked with fire hoses and police dogs, or any of the other innumerable examples of Americans triumphing through and despite adversity. No, his example of American grit is the Donner Party. That... says so much about him and this moment in time. Of all the Republican talking heads, I thought Rush Limbaugh would've been the one most likely to rethink his life choices and give serious thought to the impact he's had on the world. But nope... he wants his listeners to follow the example of the Donner Party.
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  319. Manchin is trying to make a political calculation that benefits himself. So far he's done quite well as a Democrat in an increasingly Republican state, but what he doesn't realize is that being a senator is different from being a governor. As governor he could directly appeal to the people across party lines, but as a senator he is now very much a part of the Democratic machine. If he fails to do his part that machine will fail. This is a moment in history when people want decisive action, not platitudes about business as usual. And if Biden and the 117th Congress fail to take decisive action that helps ordinary Americans the West Virginians who voted for Manchin will hold him personally accountable. There's no one else to blame and nowhere to hide when you're the crucial vote in the Senate.
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  320. Just going by the back of her head, the woman on the cover does look like an Emily.
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  321. Sorry about that, it was just a small joke from two years ago. Congratulations to your daughter.
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  322. Love the buffalo joke. I hope they never catch them!
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  323. I always liked Shogun. James Clavell was an old-fashioned novelist, but he managed to disguise that by mostly writing stories set in the past. The man knew how to play to his strengths.
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  324. The awful thing about attacking Iran is that it makes so much sense for Trump. The Mueller probe, questions about Stormy Daniels, and all of his other scandals would basically go away if the United States was at war. No one is going to impeach a President at a time like that.
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  325. The Sea Captain is okay. He's probably some kind of dangerous shared hallucination that's a sign of an incipient psychotic break - but other than that he seems like a really nice guy.
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  326. Seth's comic timing (and Frisbee's) is really excellent when you consider there's nobody in that attic but him and a bunch of dolls. The "Closer Look" segments continue to be first rate.
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  327. The real Trump is not fun to listen to. Seth's impression works because he's doing a fake Trump, somebody who's more cogent and entertaining than the real deal.
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  328. I completely agree. If this same coup attempt had happened in other country (like Hungary or North Macedonia), the US State Department would be calling upon that country's leader to step down. The same standard has to be applied here.
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  329. Hey now, Spirit has other payment options. You can always add them to your will.
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  330. Case closed! Law And Order sound
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  331. I guess Trump and the American Right just can't function without an enemy to hate. They tried making China the villain behind the virus, but it didn't work well enough, so they've decide to ignore the virus altogether and go back to an old favorite: Obama.
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  332. Thank you for that excellent explanation, Dave Smith! You really make the concepts involved clear.
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  333. Welcome back! It's great to see A Closer Look Again. The news is still terrible, but you guys are consistently hilarious. "The dude smelled like clams and he had like fifty jokes with the punchline "Land ho." I'm not crying, you're crying!
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  334. I think they should nuke the filibuster. If they don't, Biden's first two years will look like Obama's first two years, with the same result in the midterm elections.
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  335. Garlic is full of antioxidants!
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  336. That was great. And I know it was part of the joke, but there were two women on Branson's spaceplane. And Bezos is going to bring Wally Funk, a woman who probably deserves to go into space more than anybody. Women are an essential part of everyone's space programs this time around.
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  337. I guess it could be the rapture if somebody worships the Wizard as their god...
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  338. It really is a distraction. Trump has no intention of actually going through with this, he's just saying stupid things to capture the news cycle. And while we're all talking about how moronic Trump's latest idea is, Elon Musk is busy ripping apart the actual US government by firing people and dismantling agencies. Three weeks ago I would have said something like that was a conspiracy theory, but's it's so obvious now there's no denying it.
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  339. Still not a fan of the "Corrections" concept, but that Shoemaker impression is hilarious. Not knowing any different, I'm going to assume he really does sound like that because it makes life a little more fun. Also, that was Snow White's Prince? I thought you were talking about Sleeping Beauty! It's a good thing there's no Corrections segment for the audience or we'd be here all day...
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  340. I remember that now. Not sure why I forgot before.
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  341. I really thought Trump was so terrified of losing he couldn't even hold the idea in his mind, but apparently it's just a scam to grift more donation money from suckers, and so the Republicans can win the Georgia Senate elections. Yuck, everything about the man and his Republican friends is small minded and petty.
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  342. I hope she wins.
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  343. Sure, let 75 million Americans indulge their fantasy the election was rigged. What's the harm? Let Trump call up that well known champion of democracy Brian Kemp and beg the man to make him a dictator. It's all in fun. Not like this is real life or anything.
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  344. Love the bit about explaining New Jersey to a German. :-)
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  345. And this was recorded before Trump had police tear gas a church so he could use it for a photo op.
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  346. I understand why Biden is taking this approach. He's going to be the President of the entire United States, which includes the Republicans who voted against him, so he doesn't want to start his term being divisive. He's holding out hope that everyone can come together if given a chance. But like Seth said, that's extremely unlikely. The Republican party has been moving rightward since the days of Reagan, and people who were once laughed at (like the John Birchers) are now the ideological core of the party. And in addition to that, conservatives have spent the last couple of decades building an all-encompassing media bubble that has completely replaced reality for 75-80 million Americans. I don't know what the solution to all this is. There has to be one, but I suspect that bringing American conservatives back to reality will be as difficult as winning hearts and minds in Afghanistan. It's going to take bold action to dismantle the bubble they live in, and maybe a generation to to fix something that's been broken for 40 years.
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  347. The really scary thing about 3D guns is that they don't have to be made out of metal. The blueprints currently online contain one metal piece so the gun can be picked up on metal detectors, but you know that someone somewhere is going to modify the blueprints so they don't have to use metal at all. Then metal detectors won't be able to stop these guns.
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  348. That's great news, then! As long as they still need some metal.
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  349. Thanks for this, and thank you to the people doing these things. That last marriage story in particular. It's thrilling to hear the pastor (or whatever he was) shouting those words from the rooftoop, and everyone cheering. Not to mention two people in love making a lifetime commitment in this uncertain time.
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  350. I don't understand what Laura Ingraham finds so hilarious about contact tracing. It's pretty basic detective work. Does she think it's ridiculous to solve a crime by looking for suspects?
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  351. For me the problem isn't where the Arizona voting data has been sent, it's who might be looking at it. The Republican obsession with "election security" may now normalize the idea that voter information can just be given away to unaccountable and unknown third parties at will, which means those ballots aren't secret anymore.
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  352. Trump is terrified of jail, no matter what he says. Just imagine all the germs in there! Sitting on a bunk that a thousand people have used before him, wearing an orange jumpsuit that's been worn many times before... It's like the worst place he can imagine, even if they hold him in solitary and he doesn't have to worry about other prisoners.
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  353. The Liar's Polka. LOL!
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  354. Not meth... caffeine. Far too much caffeine.
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