Comments by "marialiyubman" (@marialiyubman) on "Absolute Documentaries" channel.

  1. What I don’t understand is, She’s bedridden, she can’t feed herself or bathe herself. Someone is enabling this!! They could literally keep her on a water fast without asking her if they wanted to. And they can control how much food they bring her. Someone is enabling them when they’re bedridden.
    53
  2. She:”I don’t eat that much” Also she: filmed with a huge plate of a fruit salad with a whole can of whipped cream and a milkshake.
    40
  3. “Everything changed when a drunk driver crashed into her car”. She was a landwahle long before that accident.
    14
  4. Hoarding is object-related PTSD, that’s cloaked by shame and sometimes physical illness that prevents people from cleaning up after themselves properly until it gets out of control. I know a hoarder who is the way she is because her mom was taken to auschwitz. After all her stuff was confiscated and her hair was shaved - she lost all sense of self. So when she survived, she started feeling severe attachment to her new stuff. It’s totally understandable. In my case, It’s chronic illness that made me neglect cleaning my own home and then feeling shame to show anyone how I live, and also, getting separated from my grandfather who spoiled me rotten to live with a mom who never bought me anything and starved and neglected me, so as soon as I was able to have my own money, I started buying stuff so I don’t feel deprived… I’m mostly over my hoarding, but I’m still having a lot of trouble letting people see how I live because I still feel like the clutter is there and because I’m in too much pain to clean up properly.
    13
  5. It takes so much courage to open up about your hoarding problem and so much more courage to let anyone at all, let alone the whole world see the extent of your hoarding problem. I’m a messy person because I’m in too much pain and fatigue to be able to clean up after myself, and it makes me feel so much shame, I can’t have anyone over at my house. I just wanted anyone who has this problem to know you’re so brave and I admire you for openly asking for help. I hope you get it. ❤️
    11
  6. She can’t judge them. It’s like judging someone with an eating disorder or PTSD (in fact, hoarding is a part of PTSD). It doesn’t help. It’s not like someone collecting cars, this is someone who feels like if you take away their garbage - you kill a part of their soul and mental stability, but it’s to the point where they run out of physical space to even sleep. The walls of your sanity are closing in on you. Literally.
    11
  7. She’s not nasty to jasmine, hoarding is a severe mental illness and she’s exhibiting a defense mechanism.
    7
  8. Hoarding is a severe mental illness. Many people who experience trauma end up being locked at that age when that trauma happened. That might be the immaturity you’re seeing. But it’s not that she’s a baby who hates pekoe touching her bottle, the hoarders feel like every single item they lose - they lose a part of their soul with it.
    7
  9. To the people feeling sorry for Jasmine when the hoarders lash out, you need to understand, hoarding is a SEVERE MENTAL illness, and every object, no matter how old, dirty or even contaminated, holds a piece of the hoarder’s soul. Telling a hoarder to throw out an old, rotting blanket, smelly and full of fungus, is like telling a person with anorexia to suck it up and just start eating. Hoarders don’t see their stuff as “a mess”, unless they allow anyone into their homes, before that, they see all their objects as having a direct connection to their soul and mental stability. I knew a hoarder who had the city come and clear her home, she came to my workplace and told me:”I was robbed!! It’s all gone!! I’m cold…”. Then an article came out and I realized she wasn’t robbed… So anyone working with hoarders needs to be mentally prepared for the hoarders lashing out at them. Imagine someone opening your soul and telling you your sanity and all your memories need burning. That’s how it feels (as best as I can describe it). I thought I was a hoarder for a while because my illness prevented me from cleaning and I started to research. If you can bring yourself to throw stuff out - you’re not a hoarder.
    6
  10. It’s not on purpose. It’s like keeping a cat outside because at least that way you’re feeding him and if not - the cat would die, and you can’t adopt the cat. You can’t judge people with mental illness the same way we judge normal people, and hoarding is a severe mental illness.
    5
  11. FAQ: * Why can’t they just clean it up? - because it’s a severe mental illness, it’s like asking why an anorexic person doesn’t just eat more. * why don’t they just sneak some stuff past the hoarder? It’s not like they remember what they have - because if they find out people did that, they’d feel like you and I would feel if someone stole from us, and the idea is to help them deal with their problem. So breaking their trust would I only make the problem worse. * and yes, eventually the problem becomes so severe that the city intervenes and just trashes all their stuff without asking, but here the idea is to help the people help themselves, so it’s a much longer process, but it’s teaching them to fish, instead of fishing for them. * why are they so angry and ungrateful? Because every single object, even if they have no idea what it is or if it’s just a piece of garbage, is attached to their mental stability. It’s like your house stands on a jenga tower, and if you tug on the wrong piece of garbage - the whole thing comes crashing down and you confront all your demons at once. * and yes, hoarders are ashamed of their hoarding, and they wish they were like everyone else, and they feel all of these emotions, but they’re too overwhelmed to start cleaning up what has become an industrial dump, and if they ask for help, they get judged. Eventually even the most patient person would end up touching an exposed nerve by asking them “why do you need this??! It’s rubbish”. And then all the trauma comes out and they lash out. They can’t help it, it’s about control of a very frail mental state…
    4
  12. Renee’s girls are so beautiful… and they don’t see how she manipulates them… 💔😭
    4
  13. You’re a very strong person.. it’s not easy..
    4
  14. It’s a severe mental illness, not arrogance.
    4
  15. Not anyone, Usually to people who experience severe trauma related to loss of personal space or physical stability. The worst hoarder I know is a daughter of an auschwitz survivor. They took all her stuff from her, including her hair and personality, so she vowed no one will ever take any of her stuff ever again, and every object she tosses - it’s like the Nazis came back again. It’s severe PTSD, but most PTSD is mental, this is connected to physical trauma as well and loss of control. Like, if you were kept in a room with 30 people and weren’t allowed to have any of your own stuff, not even in storage. When you come out, the first thing you do is get one object to be your own, that’s hoarding, times 1000.
    3
  16. I know a hoarder who hoards because her mother was taken to auschwitz and had all her possessions taken away, they even took her humanity from her and shaved all her hair, so when she survived auschwitz she started hoarding because she couldn’t have anyone touch her stuff ever again.. it was a huge eye-opener for me in terms of the emotional side of hoarding.
    3
  17. I would like to see what that Nigerian woman’s childhood home looked like. It’s possible she came from severe poverty and got separated from her family, so she consoled herself with stuff. Her depression is medicated by not feeling poor or hungry, but nothing replaces her family that she misses…
    3
  18. Not minimalists, but I got rid of my entire closet and bags and bags of trash and stuff one day. I’m not exactly a hoarder, I just have a chronic illness that doesn’t allow me to clean up after myself, so on good days I used to just compulsively throw away everything I could without caring…
    2
  19. But that’s another phobia of hoarders. That if someone came into their homes they’d take something to throw away. Imagine you let me in for a cup of tea and I took a look at your house and said: he won’t miss this cup, let me just take it and break it outside. And this cup is a memento from your late grandmother… This is how hoarders feel.
    2
  20. That’s what they do sometimes, but it doesn’t stop the hoarder from doing it again and this time they hoard more and trust less. The idea is to teach them to get better, not do it by force. The city does clear out homes of hoarders when it becomes a public health issue, but if they do that - the hoarder will keep doing it again. This show is about helping the hoarders take control over their lives. It’s not about clutter, it’s about severe PTDS-like trauma that’s linked to physical stuff.
    2
  21. So are the hoarders.
    2
  22. You have to be with hoarders. It’s like saying: the presenter of the show about anorexia is a saint for not telling them to “suck it up and just eat”. Hoarding is a severe mental illness. Anorexia is connected to the physical body, and hoarding is connected to physical objects inside your personal space. But it’s a severe mental illness. It’s not about being kind of understanding, it’s like expecting a physiologist not to judge someone with mental illness. Judging doesn’t help.
    2
  23. It’s a mental illness.. in my particular case (I’m not a hoarder, but I have a chronic illness that doesn’t always allow me to clean, and that makes me feel ashamed). In my case, I have severe fatigue and pain after eating, so I can’t wash up after myself immediately and then the mess accumulates. Then it starts to stink, and the stench makes me feel physically worse so I can’t always come near that, and it gets much worse… Then the shame makes me feel fear of asking for help and I end up with heaps of rotting food in my kitchen sink. It’s not as simple as you might think.
    2
  24. That’s not why. Hoarders are severely attached to all their stuff. Imagine a jenga tower built out of rubbish, but your sanity sits on top of that tower and if someone disturbs a single piece of trash - the whole tower may come down and you’ll lose it and relive the original trauma of why you started hoarding, releasing every single one of your demons. That’s the mental illness that causes hoarding. It’s not just not taking out the trash. It’s not that simple.
    2
  25. Hoarding is such an isolating, severe entail illness that I had no idea hoarders can even find love or be in a relationship… it touched my heart seeing that couple…
    2
  26. And PTSD
    1
  27. It could have ended very differently. You have to know what you’re doing.
    1
  28. Because you’re not a mental health professional. 🤷‍♀️
    1
  29. I’ve met a few hoarders and I have a similar problem. Basically, they hoard because at some point in their lives they had no control over their personal space, and keeping stuff is their way of feeling they’re in control. They think they categorize their stuff, but in reality, they’ve lost control over a decade ago, but they’re too ashamed to let anyone else see their stuff, and they’re terrified of someone throwing something important away. It’s like your sanity is sitting on top of a jenga tower build with trash… move the wrong thing and you disturb actual demons. It’s horrifying.
    1
  30. I’m not saying it’s ok, but that’s the reason they become that way in the first place. Now, from that point, most people get over it, some more easily than others, while others succumb to their mental illness. But it’s not as simple as you make it sound. It’s only simple for those of us who don’t have that problem.
    1
  31. It’s a mental illness, he’s just confronted like a million demons.. he needs some time to process.
    1
  32. I’m so grateful they performed the dental extraction with a general anesthesia. I’ve had a density’s Phobia because I wasn’t put under.
    1
  33. It’s called mental illness.
    1
  34. Did it happen after a routine vaccination, like every other case?
    1
  35. They hate it as well, but it’s a mental illness.
    1
  36. By any means, keep jabbing your kids with unknown chemicals… see what happens. “Safe and effective” - as long as you don’t have to read anything more. Start heavy metal detoxes ASAP! and the GAPS diet helps.
    1
  37. I’m so sorry for your loss…
    1
  38. I agree, but it’s a severe mental illness. They can’t help it.
    1
  39. I’m so sorry you had to live like that. I wish this severe mental illness had an easier treatment or even a cure. 💔
    1
  40. It’s a severe mental illness.
    1
  41. That’s not it, but yes, fear is a deterrent in some cases.
    1
  42. Unfortunately you’re not the only monster who doesn’t understand mental illness to this point. I’m am sure you’d also cure anorexia by force-feeding them until they choke.
    1
  43. I have a question, Why did they leave so much rubbish in Wendy’s house? I would have left only basic furniture like a bed, the TV, and kitchen appliances or empty cupboards. When I look at what they left in Wendy’s home I feel overwhelmed as well because it’s still dirty and smelly. I know Wendy’s is really difficult, so I assume it’s because she didn’t allow them to take anything more than they already have, but was there another reason?
    1
  44. Because if they do that - the hoarder will never trust them or anyone else ever again. This is a severe mental illness. What you just described is akin to stealing.
    1
  45. Because it’s not a lazy person, it’s a person with a severe mental illness. Take someone with anorexia and start force-feeding them until they gain weight - if you don’t do that right - they will kill themselves.
    1
  46. Hoarders can’t go to asylums. Many hoarders have been through the public system and that’s their original trauma that led them to hoard in the first place. Hoarding is triggered by not allowing you to have control of your most basic stuff. I know a hoarder who is the way she is because her mom went to auschwitz. Once they took everything from her and even shaved her hair - even a piece of lint in her possession became as valuable as gold, because it was hers. But I agree they shouldn’t have shut down the asylums, we need to put violent people somewhere.
    1