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Not Ap
Jubilee
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Comments by "Not Ap" (@Not-Ap) on "Adoptees vs Birth Parents: Should Birth Parents Try to Stay in Touch? | Middle Ground" video.
Which means he did have the means to raise his son but simply didn't want him at the time. He probably didn't want to say this on camera though as it's pretty damning. He then adopted his daughter out of guilt after realizing how much he ** up. Small comfort though to son he willing gave up.
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@zoemacdonald6297 How could you possibly know this? I am speaking from experience since I came from a similar background. He does not need it and I'm sure he's probably fine but that doesn't mean the thought never crossed his mind. Anyway let's agree to disagree because it's certainly is possible to raise a kid even if your young. I've known many teenage parent and they managed just fine even if they weren't happy about it. Plus I'm sure he had parents or other figures in his who could have helped him and him given advice if he wanted it. He never even tried and that's sad no matter what way you look at it.
2
Hold up before you start crying a river. He said he couldn't give a child a good life and so he put him up for adoption. Yet later he was able to give someone else's child a good life by adopting them. Why couldn't he have more natural kids? Why did he have to adopt? Is it really coming from bottom of his heart or from his ocean of guilt? He needs his adopted daughter, to what, assuage his guilt for not even trying to raise his bio-son?
2
A child is not a thing. Just because you raise them, care for them, and educate them does make them yours. If they want to see there bio family let them (as long there not toxic). I'm sure some private arrangement could be made even if it's only like a occasional prison visit.
1
But child has nothing to do with this. Nothing! Even if they look like the rapist. True you might not owe them a realtionship but some closure on there origins would thoughtful at the very least. If parents who put there children up for adoption regardless of why could turn there emotions off for one second they would realize this. Where would they be if they didn't know where they came from or personal family history. All easy stuff to take for granted.
1
@zoemacdonald6297 That's small comfort to the biological son though. He could have at the very least attempted to build a realtionship with him years later.
1
@GoddoDoggo Well say something were to happen to america and for whatever reason American orphans got adopted by parents from Nigeria or China. Raised in all Nigerian and Chinese environment but not told much about American culture or people because they simply don't know that much. Imagine how strange, difficult, awkward that might be. Throw into a little prejudice and tribalism and there you have it. A broken, confused, and alienated child.
1
What about children born out of wedlock? Is Islam as lenient towards them?
1
@aleabeckermann2100 But they won't! I'm speaking from personal experience. I've tried for years. They refuse to too. Has about as much chance of happening as amicable resolution to the palestinian conflict.
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All I heard was I just couldn't this or What if they think I'm that and what If I upset my birthmothers life? Where do the child feelings come into this? Creating life is not that different from taking one. Either way there will be consequences. Trying to escape this is what causes all this misery.
1