Comments by "Panther Platform" (@pantherplatform) on "The Onion" channel.

  1. #ORAREYOUFUCKINGPERFECT
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  2. This is real. I was in AA for several years, a meeting every night, sponsor, sponsee, etc. Had no life outside AA until I started doing pills again.
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  3. We want more fentanyl!
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  4. Giant hole aka Ukraine and the big guy...
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  5. That lake ice joke is pretty serious. I walked out on 1/2" of clear ice on the lake in front of the house after consuming several adult beverages and fell a bunch of times and cracked it but thank God it didn't give way. Probably would've drowned.
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  6. Wrong. The 0nion is news.
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  7. Employers in 2023:
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  8. Canada 2023:
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  9. You're kid's name is Madison? Tell me more about what it's like to be a single mom...
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  10.  @the10ofdiamondscard  Fentanyl is the best. Fentanyl for everyone.
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  11. The babbling baby baked brownies with the amiable crocodile.
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  12. Every person born after 1990...
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  13. Best channel EVER
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  14. The auxiliary generator has malfunctioned!
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  15. They even have a newspaper. I didn't know the onion was fake when I first read it. The stories seemed so legit
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  16. 3-15 months lol
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  17. Hey dislikers: #FUCKYOU
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  18. The mom needs an award!
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  19. I love that news anchor lady with the black hair.
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  20. That made me laugh so hard! Excellent comment. Great job.
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  21. Say no to Cody, even if he plays his guitar for you.
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  22. Go to hell george floyd.
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  23. (ENTER WOKE SJW COMMENT HERE)
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  24. Press Secretary takes his job more seriously than the current dementia patient in the white house.
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  25. #THUMBSDOWNCANTHEARANYTHING
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  26. Accelerated learning classes aka remedial engrish.
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  27. Please stop calling lol.
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  28. I can't believe this video has almost 100k comments!
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  29. #THUMBSUP
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  30. Women do a much better job raising kids as single parents than men do however it's 2022 and men are women so...
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  31. Wow. 15 years already.
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  32. Biden and his butterfly knife
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  33. 2023: white people...
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  34. Back when food was cheap enough to be able to eat enough to get fat. The obesity epidemic is taking care of itself these days.
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  35. Fast forward to 2023 and it's much worse.
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  36. Everyone has auditioned somewhere and if they don't make it the guy doing the audition knows another show they'd work on.
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  37. Or someone telling a mechanic how to fix something.
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  38. Yeah, if you're a fucking footie jammie hot chocolate drinkin millennial snowflake adult baby.
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  39. Fucking Mason jars...
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  40. This is pretty much what happens unless someone throws it in the dumpster right away.
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  41. I'm back
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  42. I want some Kyla Goran
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  43. Brainfright
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  44. Staying positive while gas prices climb to $20 a gallon
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  45. Mine is cnn. Orange man bad.
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  46. This is one of the oldest videos on YouTube right now. I was just about to turn 21 when this came out and I drank all the booze and snorted all the pills I could for 15 years but never fentanyl.
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  47. Only guns kill people.
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  48. Perfect meme: makes it to the NFL, doesn't have a manager lol
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  49. James' mother loved him despite disability. LMFAO
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  50. Glass of tide? Don't you mean handful of tide pods?
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  51. 50y ago
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  52. Wow. That's my 1980 Chevy Caprice Classic Station Wagon!
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  53. 1 billion views on this channel.
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  54. Only a hundred mosquitos? You should see the trillions of them up here. No wonder we laid so many bags of concrete.
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  55. This video is as old as Michael Jackson's death.
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  56. This comment aged poorly...
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  57. (RUSH LIMBAUGH)
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  58. Is that old chief Elizabeth Warren with her tribal garb? Impeach your dad. Impeach your dad.
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  59. I had my funeral last week. I'm only 35 so hopefully it's not gonna be for awhile but at least there won't have to be a funeral then.
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  60. I'm hired?
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  61. I knew I was going to be a hot gender neutral karen when I was 5.
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  62. Mansplaining...
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  63. Toxic positivity.
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  64. Looks like that dude Jimmy from Bright Insight
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  65. Nick hole barren. Yikes
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  66. I concur.
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  67. Nah. CNN said J6 was the worst attack to ever happen on US soil and it was. Trump killed millions of people.
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  68. Too bad no YouTube videos from the 90s.
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  69. They get picked on a lot too.
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  70. AP "CHICAGO" STYLE LOL
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  71. Clifford Baines is always out
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  72. 1:00 1:01 1:02 1:03 1:04 1:05 1:06
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  73. Don't name it Aiden or Madison
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  74. Oh boy am I happy. I'm happy...
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  75. I trust the science. NOT!
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  76. Y27
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  77. They don't even have any coolaid to drink. You swallowed it all...
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  78. Robert Bradshaw lol
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  79. Not anymore!
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  80.  @josephsshitpostemporium4325  how about a shitbox emporium?
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