Comments by "Colorme Dubious" (@colormedubious4747) on "The Babylon Bee" channel.

  1. Don't forget to bring back newspapers to hide behind on stake-outs. That was SUPER effective.
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  2. Because they decided.
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  3. Obviously, hexadecimal is FAR more inclusive! 🤣
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  4.  @istolethispfpsorry485  Women are NOT a minority. There are more of them than men and they live longer. That's a DOUBLE microaggression.
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  5. That depends. Which ones have HOAs?
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  6.  @zac3392  They said MICRO aggressions. Putting lemon filling in a donut is a FELONY!
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  7. Seeing it fade into the distance in my rear-view mirror.
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  8.  @nuclearsynapse5319  You make a compelling argument. 🤣
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  9. She's a CONSULTANT. Just ignore 100% of her advice. She has ZERO recourse. Problem solved!
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  10. "Second stage vegetarian" is brilliant! One might even say "well done."
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  11. Here's one you missed: When staying in hotels or motels in the United States for business or other reasons, open the drawer next to your bed, and see if there's a book in there. If there is, pull it out and check the title. If it says "The Bible" or something similar then it's probably a Bible. You can read any part of it that you wish whether you have WiFi or not. Pretty crazy, right?
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  12. You absolutely nailed the "House Hunters" vibe, but that House #3 is literally the ONLY home of the three where the cops would actually defend the homeowners' interests, even in California. Money speaks louder than words.
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  13.  @zac3392  It sounds like when you expect to take a bite out of a sweet pickle only to discover that you were handed a jalapeno.
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  14. Wake up and smell the slippery slope, dude. Y'all were having rolling blackouts when I visited SoCal in 2001.
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  15.  @cannedlaughter2535  Joey doesn't share food!
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  16.  @PassifloraCerulea  When you put it like that, it sounds like you know exactly what is happening.
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  17.  @spindriftdrinker  Yeah, that was a joke. We don't usually open carry. Instead, we keep them in our desks, nightstands, kitchen utensil drawers, and under the passenger seats in our pickup trucks. "DEFENSIVELY, Susan!"
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  18. Great post -- I mean great compost.
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  19. Alcohol. Copious amounts of alcohol.
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  20.  @veganconservative1109  Better scratch Texas off your list, too. No waiting unless it's a special order.
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  21. They never said "aliens." They said "UFOs." Those two words are NOT synonyms.
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  22. Y'all made me realize that I'm hungry. I'm going to go make a delicious Hakuna Frittata using egg yolks, meats from various endangered species, high fructose corn syrup, and extra gluten.
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  23.  @luciosun9823  You take 130 to avoid the traffic jam on 35, then?
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  24. It only makes the Bee stronger.
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  25. Coincidentally, everything that you and I eat, whether it be plant or meat, is ALSO converted into meat. Mind = blown!
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  26. My eyes! My eyes!
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  27.  @legacymse7095  It IS that simple. No one can force you to buy an invisible product. Grow a pair. Just say "NO."
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  28. YouTube didn't recommend this video until it had been out for 4 days. MICROAGGRESSION!!! I responded by watching it and clicking the Like button.
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  29.  @ChandlerJuliet  Like the drum? LOL. What happened to your geometric earrings? With or without them, you're killing it in these sketches! 😀
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  30. Prairie Dogs. You know why.
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  31.  @immobileaf9762  Calm down. It's a joke based on a children's story from the Indus Valley that eventually made its way to Mesopotamia thousands of years BCE.
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  32.  @rubbledebubble  Turtles all the way down!
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  33. I found that ignoring her and quietly reading a book helped. It didn't calm her down, but it helped ME.
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  34.  @WiseandVegan  ?
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  35.  @HasanUnknown  You seem to be lost, Spam-man. This is a thread about the OP's JOKE. Take it outside!
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  36. You forgot to say "Here's your sign!"
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  37. Don't you mean the 19th?
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  38. Nice to see she/her and he/him again!
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  39.  @richardhockey8442  Gotta read that fine print on Trivago.
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  40. I agree with Nurse Ratchet. Sick people are GROSS.
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  41. Too many people in my neighborhood have "Beto for Texas" signs in their yards. Don't they understand that Beto is only for Beto? Who in their right mind would vote for an unemployed grifter/drunk driving enthusiast?
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  42. As an American of Italian descent, I am deeply offended... that you went so easy on that creepy, greasy Guido. Good bye and good riddance!
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  43.  @tomfullery9710  In a train station.
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  44. Nailed it!
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  45. The narrator's voice sounded like a human expelling air while manipulating their vocal folds.
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  46. Don't you mean Saturnalia? That's racist, sexist, and homophobic because... um, reasons.
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  47. That's our gal! Way to bring it full circle. 😁
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  48. Put down the chips and step slowly away from the bag, Tubby!
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  49. Jif, obviously.
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  50. Flooring installer. She already has the kneepads. - Steve
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  51. If you believe the "E" on the fuel gauge means "Enough," you might be a woman.
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  52. "Open floor plan" is a really WEIRD way to say "I want to hear my refrigerator rumbling and squealing from EVERY room in my house."
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  53.  @Steve-wm1ol  You REALLY have to commit to the bit.
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  54. The Left is so fragile. Just dip a breadstick in peanut butter and wave it at them while chanting "Moronus Begonus" and the problem is solved.
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  55. It really went downhill fast in Austin after that girly-mayor Adler got elected. His "fight to end homelessness" filled our streets with junkies and bums. Typical.
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  56. R.I.P. Bill Paxton - and our cultural sanity.
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  57. I got an ad for iPhone with this. Well played, YouTube, well played.
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  58. Filling my tank and emptying my "tank."
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  59.  @TheJpep2424  You take it outside, too!
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  60. It's not that easy, man! I'm a pointer but I also sit when I don't really need to in order to watch Babylon Bee videos.
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  61. People like her are why pit bulls exist.
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  62. I used to have a best friend who happened to be black but then he got married and became super lame, so...
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  63. "Itsa ME!" -- The Pope.
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  64. The moment you hear any publicly traded company make these senseless noises, short as much of their stock as you possibly can.
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  65. The climate actually IS changing. It's been warming for 13,000 YEARS. The question then becomes: Why is it suddenly OUR fault?
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  66.  @franzmaier433  And what is the percentage by which that's created EXCESS warming? Can you pin that down? No, you cannot. There's no consensus. Here's the REAL issue: The elites who promulgate the climate panic don't ACT in accordance with their stated belief. Ignore what they SAY and watch what they DO. Obama owns THREE multimillion-dollar mansions. Two of them are on ISLANDS. Among all three of them, they have precisely ZERO solar panels on their roofs. The elites want YOU to reduce your footprint so they won't have to. That's all there's ever been to this.
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  67.  @homesteadgamer1257  Glad to hear that you folks don't use electricity.
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  68. It was so nice of the Californians to bring the hosts something to compost. Next year's tomato crop will be EPIC.
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  69.  @Juide80  Please explain the first half of that: "offended to get anything you want to eat" - wut???
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  70. "A Tale of Two Cities" because it marginalizes cities that identify as non-binary. Intolerable!
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  71. First I've heard of it.
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  72.  Seventies Born  That checks out.
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  73.  @lolahernandez6871  I'm Italian, adopted by hillbillies. Let's have lunch and compare our incurable angst. 🤣
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  74. Is no one going to comment that the He/Him dude is wearing unearned Lieutenant's bars? Stolen rank is NOT cool, dude!
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  75. A blank sheet of paper would also be a comprehensive list.
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