Comments by "marriage causes divorce" (@marriagecausesdivorce7540) on "Jonathan Noble Esquire" channel.

  1. I was married to a narcissist attracted to my money. I ended up losing 70% in my divorce. Getting married is easily the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life. Thank you Jonathan for all the information you provide. You are saving a whole generation of young men from ruining their life.
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  2. RIP Chris Christensen. He was a school principal who deleted himself a few days ago because his wife called the cops saying her kids were in danger. So many men completely lose their mind when dealing with matters of the heart. It is so sad. Men need to do better. They are ruining their lives for no reason.
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  3. I think guys massively underestimate how much your wife will change (probably for the worst) during a 50 year marriage. The young, slim, free care, happy 25 year old girl will quickly turn into an overweight, post-natally depressed, 40 year old who regrets marrying you. This is the problem with marriage. It is a very risky 50 year bet where you gamble all your money, house and kids on 1 women who hopefully doesn't hate you 15years down the line.
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  4. 5 key traits: 1. Mental stability when the chips are down. 2. Tolerance of the other person's imperfections. 3. Willingness not to marry or co-habit / willing to sign an iron-clad pre-nup. 4. Low number of previous boyfriends. 5. No history of divorce in her family or friendship circle.
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  5. In some ways I disagree with "the person you marry, is not the person you divorce". The person you marry is essentially an actor, they will act nice and sweet in order to get the diamond ring, money, house and babies. The person you divorce is the real authentic version of themselves without the acting. The red flags and mental instability were always there but you didn't see them due to all the beauty, intimacy and acting. You never really know your spouse and how much your spouse really hates you until you divorce them.
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  6. From listening to Jonathan I think I divorced a narcissist. The main things that resonated with me was the "control" thing. My ex-wife was obsessed with calling the shots and creating rules for the relationship (which she did not follow). Love bombing at the beginning of the relationship. Being an absolute pain to divorce. I ended up giving away 70% of my money and assets to get away from her. Regarding why I married a narcissist, I guess I was grateful to be in a relationship (scarcity mindset). I wish I took longer to get to know her. #
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  7. Getting married to the mother of your children is one of the worst mistakes a man can make. Once he does this, she has all the power and leverage in family court. Husbands will lose their money, house and kids on divorce. Once she has the ring, house and kids, it is GAME OVER for the husband. I got myself into this mess and ended up losing 70% of my money, assets and home equity on divorce in the UK.
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  8. The problem we have here is that men just don't understand how dangerous romantic relationships and alcohol are. Men are just way too thirsty. It is actually embarrassing. Why not go to a pharmacy for protection and pay with card and keep receipts, then go to a hotel and pay with card and keep receipts. Produce the bank statements, receipts, pharmacy CCTV and hotel CCTV in court and explain to Karen the Judge what happened and that everything was consensual. Also, whenever I hear one of these stories alcohol is always involved. Do not get intimate when alcohol is involved.
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  9. My best advice would be to keep these 304s at arms length. No marriage, no cohabitation, and no co-mingling of finances. It makes it much easier to walk away when the genuine burning desire inevitably fades. If you want kids, keep the number of kids to a minimum to minimize any child support, child custody battles, etc. Be careful out there guys. Once you screw up with marriage and/or kids it will haunt you for the rest of your life.
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  10. Guys, if you are in a marriage, you know very well that you can't win. You pay the bills, you will get accused of being old-fashioned. You don't pay the bills, you will get accused of being useless. You look after the kids, you will be accused of not working hard in your job/not getting a promotion. You don't look after the kids, you will be accused of being a neglectful father. Honestly, do not get married, do not co-habitat, and live an area where the laws are favourable (50 : 50 custody, no child support, no common law marriage).
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  11. The average marriage will last around 15 years, and on divorce the husband and wife will end up as arch enemies, typically with the husband losing his money, house and kids. Also, divorce and unhappiness is very common. The divorce rate is around 40% according to CDC. And many people unhappy in their marriage do not get divorced. When will people wake up to this chaos?
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  12. Co-habitation, kids and marriage is a complete risk/mess in the West. You can't win. If you are going to co-habit and have kids make sure you live in a jurisdiction that does not recognize common law marriage and make sure you vet this women for around 2 - 4 years.
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  13. Honestly, some guys deserve everything that is coming to them from Karen the divorce judge. If you're driving around in a Porsche or showing off on social media, expect your ex-wife to file for modification as she can show Karen the divorce judge you can afford it. In 2023 guys should realize that a lot of people are struggling with the cost of living and are looking for a pay day. Do not be that sucker that gives your ex a pay day in divorce court.
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  14. This happens all too often. Guys having to entertaining and excite their partner in order to prevent them from being bored. Some people cannot sit still because they had an emotional and traumatic childhood, and they seek those familiar emotions from their partner. These thrill-seekers are not bad people but they are definitely not 50 year marriage material. They are also the worst people to divorce as they want to put the other person through hell.
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  15. UK laws are the same as this. How the assets are titled are irrelevant. Everything goes into the marital pot and pot split based on need (i.e. not 50:50). I lost 70% in my divorce. The judge was ruthless. It is so humiliating having a judge decide how much of my money I get to keep.
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  16. I am grateful to Jonathan for explaining this concept of opportunity cost. It is such a shame that fathers are not explaining this type of thing to their sons. I guess Boomers didn't know how destructive marriages would turn out to be in 2023. So many guys are sleep walking into marriage like lambs to the slaughter. It's very sad as these young husbands will realize they have made a huge mistake around 7 years in.
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  17. Am I right in thinking you could still need to pay alimony for 10 years, 20 years, 30 years, etc? Alimony should be capped until the youngest kid is 18 (this being the maximum length). Judges will still find a way to screw over the husbands, e.g. 50 years of alimony, paying the wife's legal fees, using biased valuations, ignoring dissipations, etc.
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  18. The problem a lot of people have is the huge expectation and pressure to get married. People get married to tick off another life milestone. People also have no idea that you should choose a wife based on mental stability (she is calm during difficult periods) and tolerant (accepting of the husband's imperfections). Also, a lot of husbands don't have the money, muscle, game and frame to survive in a 50 year marriage. To be honest, it is surprising the divorce rate is ONLY 50%. If you are going to get married, you have to accept it is a huge 50 year gamble where your money, house and kids are at stake.
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  19. A man not getting a pre-nup is like a man driving without a seat belt for 50 years. Seat belts and pre-nups are protection. At any time in a 50 year marriage, the wife can divorce you and take your money, house and kids. Ideally do not get married in the first place. But if you are happy to take the risk, at least get a pre-nup. I lost 70% of my money and assets in my divorce, including losing my house.
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  20. The problem I see with marriage is that husbands lose leverage very quickly, i.e. once they have given the wife the ring, house, and kids, the husband is no longer needed. Given marriage is so risky, a pre-nup helps to restore some level of fairness. However, it would probably just be easier not to co-habitat and marry in the first place, as long term you will probably end up divorced, single and much poorer having lost assets and money on legal fees.
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  21. I hate to sound like a doomer but while your suggestion is sensible (e.g. bogus claims should be punished) I think this unlikely to ever happen as men will stand to benefit / women will stand to lose. Even if this law existed, male and female judges would be unlikely to "tick the box" and use this power just in case they are wrong, they don't want to cause anymore distress to the women, etc. Sad but true.
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  22. Warning signs 2 and 3 about her showing zero accountability, and her always moaning and complaining about others, are so important and should not be ignored. This is because she will eventually blame you to justify and rationalize her bad behaviour. It will all be your fault she is turning the kids against you, it will be your fault she is hiding money in divorce proceedings, it will be your fault she is cheating or making false allegations, etc etc.
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  23. Good thing about child maintenance is that it eventually comes to an end. To be honest, divorce only really ends when the child gets to 18 years old. Until then you are still connected to your ex-wife. Marriage and divorce can end up being a huge enormous nightmare.
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  24. Good advice. But the problem is, a lot of these types of personality traits (being feared, being demanding, being controlling) sometimes only rears its head after children. For example, she becomes more demanding/controlling of your time after kids. A lot of people in the red pill space talk about genuine burning desire as if it will always be there. However once the wife has got her kids, genuine burning desire can very quickly become demand/controlling.
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  25. Someone on your other narcissist video said they couldn't believe I lost 70% of my money, assets and home equity to a narcissist. I think it would be good if you could make an "equitable division" video. The biggest urban myth is that men only lose 50% on divorce. This is a complete lie. Thank you Jonathan.
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  26. What Jonathan says is also the law in the UK, i.e. the UK respects overseas marriage and will conduct UK equitable distribution divorces on foreign marriages. As Jonathan says, you are potentially playing with fire by going down the foreign/overseas marriage route. There is little to no benefit in marriage for most men in 2022. Don't risk it.
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  27. MGTOW - Men Guarding Their Own Wallet
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  28. Marriage is a 50 year gamble. Even if she doesn't do the eye roll or criticism now, she will do it once she has the wedding ring, house and kids, because at that point she has all the power and leverage, and the husband is no longer needed. With the decline of religion, spread of divorce culture, independent boss babes earning more and more, a 50 year marriage for millennials/Gen Z is becoming more and more unlikely. You would have to be insane to get married without an iron-clad pre-nup in 2023.
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  29. I can't imagine the horror stories this attorney has seen, e.g. cheating, husband not being the real biological father, hidden assets, being in the wrong courtroom with a biased judge, parental alienation, divorce planning, etc. He is probably scarred for life. I have been through 1 divorce and I am completely scarred for life.
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  30. Jonathan is so experienced in these matters. He has such incredible and illuminating insight. Warning sign (WS) 1: She in the past (or a close friend/sister) had a great boyfriend. You will never live up to him. She will drop you in a heart beat to be back with him. She will just end up being so frustrated with you in the relationship. WS 2: She hates her job and always moans and complains. She will start moaning and complaining about you next once she has the ring, house and kids. WS 3: If she has independent boss babe friends and is addicted to IG. You will always be reminded about how amazing everyone else's life is and how rubbish/boring your life is. WS 4: Toxic mother, sister and/or friends encouraging drama, chaos and divorce. WS 5: If you cannot continue to provide ever increasing resources she will become frustrated that her life is stagnating. WS 6. Its always someone else's fault, she never takes accountability, and nothing is ever very good enough. WS 7: Prior marriages / relationships. Some people are just not marriage material.
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  31. It is so important to leave toxic relationships before marriage. Leaving a toxic relationship after marriage will mean a very costly and stressful separation where she will probably want revenge, and drain you of your money. Men massively under estimate the dangers of marriage. My divorce will haunt me for the rest of my life.
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  32. Great logical conclusion from 1:49 . As a man, once you get married, you make your life a million times harder unnecessarily. This is because divorce is a process where a man begs the judge for his money back, and the judge throws him under the bus.
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  33. Completely agree. I lost 70% of my money, assets and home equity in my UK divorce. Marriage has been the worst mistake of my entire life and has ruined me financially. It is the best financial decision a wife will make, because it is the worst financial decision a husband will make. Fortunately, marriage rates are falling, and it appears to slowly be going extinct (especially in the UK) as it only serves the wife.
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  34. My in-laws were OK. It was my ex-wife that was the problem. Neither of us had any divorce in our family history. The problem is if the husband is a weak beta SIMP and the wife is aggressive, bossy, combative, and disagreeable, then the marriage won't work regardless of in-laws, finances, kids, etc. Problem is most millennials and Gen Z are not 50 year marriage material. And even if they are marriage material, they will end up picking the wrong spouse for the wrong reasons.
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  35. MGTOW - Men Guarding Their Own Well-Being.
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  36. In my experience the police/family courts are very SIMPathetic when it comes to dealing with mothers. But if it is the husband doing the wrong deed, he is definitely going to jail.
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  37. It is always best to fire unstable clients. They first act unstable with the other parent, and then start acting unstable with you. Parental alienation is so sad. However the child will eventually become 18 and can then make their own decisions.
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  38.  @mikeheaton8424  losing 70% is an injustice that I will never get over. It will stay with me for the rest of my life. Thank god marriage is becoming less and less common, and will probably be extinct in the next 50 years or so.
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  39. Pill 3 (think logically), Pill 5 (see into the future), and Pill 6 (anti-thirst) are so important. Pill 3: men lose their minds when they see beauty and make extremely illogical and bad decisions. Pill 5: young guys need to speak to divorced men/attorneys and find out their future, e.g. lose your money, lose your house, lose your kids, decade of custody battles and child support. Pill 6: men get pressured into marriage by parents, society, and culture. Men get married to make other people happy and end up ruining their own lives forever. Thank you JCN for everything you do.
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  40. The travel is initially fine for the first 5 years of the marriage. However once all the arguments start in year 6 onwards, travelling with the person who is giving you the silent treatment is unbearable. By year 7 you will be divorced and blame it on the travel, when really the refusal to travel was actually caused by the underlying arguments / silent treatment. The underlying arguments / silent treatment was caused by the fact you have both fallen out of love and the relationship has run its course. If you don't have a pre-nup, good luck with the divorce.
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  41. 100% facts. I can't imagine all the injustices that Jonathan has seen. Jonathan has probably seen so many injustices it has probably sparked him into setting up this YouTube channel as a last resort. Fresh and Fit are doing a divorce podcast today.
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  42. You make a great point. The cost is around £300/hour in the UK. This is something that is often not talked about. The legal fees can be horrific in divorce. However, unfortunately, sometimes it makes more sense to pay the ex-wife who you hate (but who can give the money to your kids) rather than pay the lawyers. No offence, Jonathan,
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  43. 100% facts. Mothers will get off lightly with a telling off. Husbands will definitely end up in jail.
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  44.  @jcnlaw  I would 100% buy a book written by you, hearing your thoughts/opinions, anonymised war stories, thoughts on the future of marriage rates/birth rates, trends, dealing with ongoing custody/child support battles, knowing when to give up, judges biases, appeals, etc.
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  45. I can't imagine the horror stories and injustices Jonathan has seen over the years. I would be traumatized working as a divorce attorney in an equitable distribution state where the husband does not have a pre-nup. The UK is equitable distribution country where pre-nups are not really a thing for average people and I lost 70% of my money, assets and home equity due to a ruthless (female) judge. Do not get married if you want to stay in control of your money.
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  46. I do not think there will ever be a perfect child support system. There will always be winners and losers. In the UK the child support system is quite good. There is a simple to use online calculator that resolves all issues (unlike divorce and property division and alimony which is complete chaos).
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  47. 100% facts. So many people, particularly inexperienced people, forget the love/lust phase will die out after around 6 years once she has the ring, house and kids. From then on, she has all the leverage and power in the marriage and divorce court.
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  48. Guys, this attorney is amazing. He is providing such a valuable service by speaking the truth. Do not get married. When I got married I was the loneliest I have ever been. Got the silent treatment. Got divorced. Lost 70% of everything. Now I am alone, happy without her, but significantly poorer.
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  49. The problem with her saying "I'm not happy" and her moaning/complaining all the time is she will normally only start doing this once she has got the diamond ring, her name on the house deeds, and a kid. Once she has got these 3 things, she knows she has all the leverage and she will then revert to her real nature and unleash hell. It's so important guys vet their girlfriend for around 4 years before considering kids, co-habitation, pre-nups, etc.
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  50.  @realman1349  in the UK and some states in the USA (e.g. Georga), the divorce laws are equitable division, i.e. the judge will give the women whatever % she needs. If you watch "The Lead Attorney" (20 year Atlanta divorce attorney) he sometimes talks about this.
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  51. It's refreshing to hear from someone who is clearly very intelligent, experienced and accomplished (a family law attorney) say marriage isn't a sensible/rational bet. So many people are indoctrinated to believe marriage is the only way to do things and then get the shock of their life when they lose 50%, 60% or even 70% of everything on divorce. We are so lucky this channel exists.
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  52. The interesting part of the 50% divorce rate is that the other 50% who do not get divorced are not necessarily happy and wished they had more freedom and less stress. This whole concept of a 50 year marriage (which turns out to be a 8 year marriage followed by losing your money, house and kids, and 10 years of paying child support) is insane. If only young people knew.
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  53. Thank you for everything you do Jonathan. The thoughtful and insightful information you provide on the dangers/pitfalls of marriage is exactly what young men need today. Hollywood just doesn't explain this type of stuff. I am a survivor of the UK divorce/family court system. I lost 70% of everything. Your voice is also needed and appreciated worldwide.
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  54. The problem with covert narc's is that they are initially good at hiding it. And before you know it, you are sucked in by their Jezebel nature. Particularly if you don't have much experience with women or have a scarcity mindset. I divorced a covert narc and they are brutal to be married to and divorce. They are never happy. Its always your fault.
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  55.  @boston312  in some sense, you're extremely lucky (not because you have lost a friend), but because you have seen the nature of some wives and the unfairness of the legal system up close and personal without your assets being on the line. I am refusing to let my son marry until he has watched Jonathan's channel, the lead attorney's channel, coach greg adams, rich cooper's channel, the rational male, fresh and fit, and read all their books.
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  56. Thank you, Jonathan. You mentioned you are licenced in Pennsylvania and New Jersey. Are you able to say if these states are Community property or Equitable distribution? The UK is an equitable distribution country. The UK Family Courts are ruthless when it comes to divorce. You can very easily lose 70% of the marital pot if she has student loans, is working part time, has a child, etc.
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  57.  @copcuffs9973  I have CS, no alimony, no parental alienation, but lost 70% of all my money/assets/home equity. In the UK, each person pays their own legal fees but money/assets does not get split 50: 50. It gets split based on need.
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  58. Married is so dangerous they had to invent pre-nups. I wish I had got a pre-nup to insist 50 : 50 property division. Instead, I was a complete idiot and went into marriage unprotected, and ended up losing 70% of everything. Getting married and getting married without a pre-nup are the biggest 2 mistakes of my life that will haunt forever. I just thought divorce would never happen to me and I just thought the family courts were fair (I was wrong on both counts).
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  59. Such an important video that all men should watch before they marry, co-habit or have kids. This video could save you an enormous amount of stress, money and pain over a lifetime. While the laws are designed to protect the vulnerable, they regularly get abused and normally come at huge cost/expense to the man.
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  60. Guys, never marry a drama queen or someone addiction to drama and chaos. The problem you will find is that a lot of the signs only come out once she has secured the ring, house and kids. Once she has the ring, house and kids, as a man you pretty much have zero leverage and power in family court.
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  61. So much money wasted on spousal support and legal fees. If guys are going to co-habit and/or get married, they need to have an iron-clad pre-nup. It will give you so much financial security in the next 50 years of your marriage (if your marriage lasts that long). He got pumped and dumped by the divorce system. He probably tried to help her by giving her kids, and she and the courts threw him under the bus. Marriage is about money and babies.
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  62. I'm in the UK and you cannot go in. Family cases are behind closed doors. Because of this UK judges can do whatever they want, they have way too much power, the system is unreliable (different judges award different amounts), and the system is open to abuse from judges. I lost 70% of my money and assets (including my house) in my UK divorce. Some of these judges are very biased and/or incompetent. Hence the reason Johnny Depp lost his DV case in the UK.
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  63. These 304s are not complicated. They are simply delusional. If a man behaved liked a 304 we would describe that men as delusional, irrational, illogical and a complete PITA.
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  64. I agree with this video. But one thing worth mentioning is that even if she does have genuine burning desire/love for you, this will eventually fade 8 years down the line once you have bought her the house and given her kids. She will eventually find something to moan and complain about, and without a pre-nup Karen the divorce judge will give her the money, house and kids on divorce. Marriage is a huge tactical/strategic error for most guys.
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  65. She would be a nightmare to deal with in a child custody battle. It seems like she wants 18 years of child support payments from you.
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  66. 100% facts. Wives don't marry to get husbands. They marry to get financial security and babies.
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  67. This is a really interesting view point. I think you are right. Divorce is very traumatic and uncertain. I think mums go into survival mode for themselves and kids, and get encouraged to play dirty by womanist divorce attorneys and independent boss babe friends. This survival instinct has been very important in allowing humans to grow to a population of 8 billion+.
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  68. Lets face it. A lot of people today are not marriage material. Over a 50 year marriage the chances of you staying happily married are slim and therefore you will spend the 50 years worried how badly you are going to get destroyed in divorce. With all the uncertainty and unfairness in the family court system (I lost 70% in the UK) you need to consider if marriage is worth it in terms of risk/benefit.
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  69. Disbursements don't really exist in the UK. Each party pays their own legal fees. The laws are already quite ruthless in the UK but sometimes I wish they were worse so marriage would go extinct more quickly. In the 1970's there were 400k marriages/year but now there are only 200k marriages/year in the UK. Marriages are expected to drop in further in 2020 when the data comes out. Do not get married.
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  70. Looks like you dodged a bullet. Let her be another man's problem.
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  71.  @apureenergyme9  facts. Men are essentially indoctrinated to believe in marriage and to do the right thing. There is no counter narrative as men for a long time have been are very secretive/embarrassed about their divorce court humiliation. It's only now men are speaking out and learning what is really going on.
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  72.  @lagoonlane  Why does signing a piece of paper and exchanging jewellery give the kids the best chance? If two doctors do not get married, I am sure the kids will be fine. If two criminals do get married, the kids will struggle. Your argument doesn't make any sense and doesn't take into account the income of the parents as being the main factor behind a child's success. Lower income parents tend not to get married hence the lower chance of offspring success (it is the income not the marriage that makes the difference).
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  73.  @LatimusChadimus  Facts. As they say, marriage causes divorce.
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  74. so true, when divorce lawyers are saying do not get married, what more do men need? some men need to be burned and go through the pain before they learn.
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  75.  @xcurrentbreeze6626  marriage and divorce are linked because once you get married the wife can apply for divorce anytime in the next 50+ years. Therefore if you think the divorce laws are unfair, that means marriage is unfair because the wife will have all the leverage in that marriage, as she can threaten the husband with divorce at any time. Therefore marriage is still the worst financial decision a man will probably ever make. This explains why marriage rates are declining and marriage rates are at an all time low.
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  76.  @Eric-kn4yn  we all know Karen the divorce judge is just going to assume the dad is a dead beat and is hiding income. Therefore Karen is going to jump to conclusions and punish the father without evidence. Miscarriages of justice in family court happen against men all the time.
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  77.  @BRIANDER100  the biggest part of vetting is getting an iron-clad pre-nup. telling her you lost your job won't help you in divorce court. karen the divorce judge will just impute income and still destroy you without a pre-nup. you should know someone for around 5 years before marrying them and walk away as soon as you see any red flags.
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  78.  @Re3iRtH  it was a short marriage. England, United Kingdom (UK)
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  79.  @Re3iRtH  in the UK, once there are kids involved she can get 100% after 1 year. however it normally ends up 70 : 30 for average people or 50 : 50 if they are millionaires.
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  80. @Red Baron I don't mind being on the lowest level as my divorce also involved a child. However judges just go to extreme % splits and don't take into account lies, hidden assets and future circumstances if this means the % split will be smaller for the ex-wife.
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  81.  @danwelterweight4137  100%. I will never be one of these guys that end up getting divorced 2 or 3 times.
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  82. bro. if the judge is a f3minist, it doesn't matter about the lawyers. the judge will just throw the husband under the bus. judges normally make wrong decisions, hence the appeals process.
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  83. The problem is. Most men going into marriage think divorce will never happen to them during the next 50 years and most men think the divorce courts/judges are fair. Big mistake. As a man, you will be the last consideration in a divorce and as a result you will get absolutely screwed over. Do not get married and do not co-habitat. I lost 70% in my divorce.
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  84. What type of % splits do you see in equitable distribution cases? I lost 70% in my UK divorce.
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  85.  @seuratguy  seems very reasonable. I wish the UK had the same system.
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  86. Marriage has always been fundamentally flawed. Imperfect strangers handcuffing themselves together for life. What could possibly go wrong? The flaws are now obvious in modern society, e.g. religion doesn't keep marriages together as much, divorce culture spreading, independent boss babe culture spreading, IG promoting unrealistic expectations, Tinder promoting options, more and more adults coming from broken families themselves, higher earning wives, family courts determined to maintain the wife's standard of living by financially ruining the husband, etc. Long term (30 - 60 years) marriage is doomed.
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  87. Most men don’t even realize what marriage even is. Practically speaking, the husband is promising to lose his money, house, and kids on divorce to his ex-wife. Most guys think this will never happen to them and only realize how stupid they have been when it’s too late.
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