Comments by "" (@RealJamieBarclay) on "Cole Hastings" channel.

  1. If you have to drink alcohol in order to feel comfortable in social parties, it's time to speak to people sober, until you don't even care if you drink at parties or not.
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  2. Remember, working out isn't about how good your body looks, it's about how healthy your body feels. Don't let the internet push you into prioritising looks over health.
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  3. Pretty incredible how the internet allows us to learn literally anything we want in the shortest and most effective way possible. To say that you learned 15-20% of Japanese in 30 days is pretty incredible! (Top 3 anime's are Tokyo Ghoul, Attack on Titan and Demon Slayer)
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  4. The problem is instant gratification. Before, if you felt lonely, you would have to go out and meet someone. Now when you feel lonely, you can instantly chug one out to hyper stimulating videos, and meet random strangers on tinder. Meaning we never get to feel lonely long enough, to actually do something about it, because we keep flushing it away with something fake. That is until it's too late and your anxiety levels are too high, and now it feels like the only solution is the internet services. The truth is, if you unapologetically be yourself and speak to enough people, you will meet someone who's perfect for you. It all comes down to a choice.
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  5. Most people don't act on their dream life because they fear judgement. The best way to overcome this is to find other people who have the life you want and only care about their opinions. You can't spend your whole life worrying about what the people in your small town or city think of you.
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  6. Honestly this story has the potential to be a movie, or some type of Disney classic. Where a man discovers a device that allows him to undo his past and his mistakes, while it starts of great, he soon realises his mistakes are part of what make him who he is. Great stuff Cole :)
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  7. The trick to never running out of things to say: You actually always have something to say, you just convince yourself it's uninteresting. Just let whatever is on your mind come out, and the other person will probably find it more interesting than you think.
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  8. As Cole says in this video, one of the greatest human needs is the need for consistency. We want to be consistent with our identity, but more importantly, we want to be consistent with how we think other people see us. This is why you will act differently around different people. When in reality, none of that shit matters. You get to choose who you are and what you do every single day. You are under no obligation to be the same person today, as you were yesterday, and don't let anyone tell you any different 💙
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  9. An important distinction you make here is that it should be quality relationships. I used to play characters around different people so that they would all like me. When I be my authentic self, I have less relationships but the ones I do have are much deeper and better quality.
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  10. The truth is, if you're a young man and you're struggling to get it up, there's about a 99% chance it's a psychological problem. Here are some steps to overcome that. 1) Either start nofap or seriously reduce how much you choke the chicken/watch porn. This was a huge one for me, masturbating every single day to hyper stimulating videos without any of the anxiety makes the real thing boring and way more scary. 2) Make sure you're doing it with someone who you trust and who you can actually communicate your problem with. 3) For the first couple times, it's ok to use pills that help increase blood flow to the eggplant. Once you've done it a couple of times, you'll start to get out of your head, and you won't need them anymore.
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  11. As a 20 year old who's never been in a long term relationship, I always thought there was something wrong with me because of it. Not because I couldn't get women (although that has been a part of the story) but because I genuinely have never had enough interest in them for long enough. I've always just been happy with myself. There are some invaluable benefits to being single and I don't want to get into a relationship just for the sake of being in one. I'm sure eventually I'll find someone who I connect with deeply, but until then, being single is pretty cool too :)
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  12. I spent my so many years being insecure about how skinny I was and my acne. Anytime someone would make a joke about it I'd take it really personally and would sit thinking about it in my room for weeks. Since then I've realised a few things that have helped me overcome it. 1) Most people are projecting their own insecurities on to you 2) No one is thinking about your insecurities or your embarrassing moments as much as you are 3) You can choose to not care Really good video Cole, super professional and you keep getting better and better at your storytelling and video editing 💙
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  13. Communication is perhaps the most underrated skill in all of self help. Fuck 5am cold showers, I wanna know how to build meaningful connections with others.
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  14. This is exactly why I'm planning on moving to LA. I know there are lots of rough sides to the city, but as a film maker/ actor at heart, I know it's where I need to go. As I've changed drastically over the past few years, I really do feel like I don't fit in with my social circles, and I don't feel like I have any deep connections irl. While I save up however, the internet will have to do. Thank you for building this incredible community Cole, looking forward to all your upcoming videos. 💙
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  15. Yes the hedonic treadmill is a very real thing, we want something, we get it, and after enough time we adjust and return to our default happiness. However, there are ways to increase your default level of happiness. And as Cole said, you get that by following what makes you excited and doing things that allow you to get into flow state, not by "being successful". One day you'll look back and realise you already had everything you needed to be happy.
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  16. You don't need x amount of money, you don't need to be in that relationship and you don't need that new car to be worthy. You are already worthy 💙
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  17. Two rules for overcoming lonliness. 1) Being comfortable with being alone 2) Don't seek to be liked, seek others who already like the genuine and authentic you
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  18. Depression is thinking about the past. Anxiety is thinking about the future. Happiness is being in the present.
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  19. I think one of the benefits of speaking to so many strangers is that they don't have any pre conceived idea of how you should be acting, so it's easier to be yourself. This is partly why I plan on travelling thr world by myself.
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  20. Ironically, the thing that was designed to unite us, is dividing us, and I'm not talking about social media. Our brain does not hold beliefs because it thinks they are true, it does it to feel validated, part of a community and for a sense of importance. Because of this, we choose sides and start hating on other groups of people. In reality, no matter how much you think it, these beliefs are much more connected to your need to fit into a group than they are to the truth. When we understand everyone hating us is actually just looking for love and acceptance, it becomes much easier to give love, rather than hate and judgement. We're all humans, just trying to do what's right, lets show some compassion.
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  21. Sometimes you have to lose yourself, in order to find yourself.
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  22. I think most people chase the wrong freedom. There is physical/financial freedom, and then there is mental freedom. The latter is much more difficult to achieve, but much more effective at making you happy.
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  23. As contradictory as it sounds, two of the 6 human needs are to feel comfortable, but also be growing. I strongly believe the key to a happy life is to be both happy with your current conditions, and to always be improving and growing your comfort zone in some way.
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  24. This video actually reflects how I've been feeling recently. I've been measuring my "progress" by how easily I slip into flowstate, instead of the actual results I produce. I feel great and I've been a lot more productive.
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  25. One of the main lesson's I've learned from starting a YouTube Channel this year, which you alluded to in this video is that you avoid competition by being authentic. I'm still finding my voice, but I can't wait to make it big one day and look back at this video as one of the main reasons for it. Thank you Cole, love from a (currently) small YouTuber 💙
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  26. Seeing as one the main habits you talked about cutting out was "choking the chicken" (😂😂) here are the two main reasons people can't stop doing it. They feel lonely, or feel bored. When you feel these negative emotions, you turn to the chicken to temporarily get rid of them. However if you consistently speak with other people when you feel lonely instead of chicken strangling, you will eventually rewire the neuro pathway groves In your brain so that you get rid of feeling lonely by socialising instead of choking. I know Cole talks about being alone, but you should still have SOME relationships, even if it's just online. You need some genuine connections with people who you can call or talk to when you're lonely. In the case of being bored, that really just means lack of purpose. A man with a really strong purpose and mission, will not find himself getting bored. Cole already has loads of videos about this, if you need help with that, go check those vids out. Wishing you all the best of luck, and keep up the really great consistent content Cole!
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  27. Common theme throughout the video: Do what makes you happy and be generous with your willingness to help others.
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  28.  @thetheory6159  What I was referencing here was an extremely summarised version of exposure therapy. However it was definitely a bit of a pretentious comment that left a lot to be desired. However it's also been months since I wrote this, I don't even remember writing it tbh. Thanks for the feedback, although I like to think I generally don't give such basic advice anymore, it's still good to take note of. (Also I'm not a teacher or an expert, I just make YouTube videos lol)
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  29. Perhaps nothing is real, perhaps nothing matters. Depending on your perception, this can be either a crippling or freeing thought. Life is what you make it. You don't need answers to start living.
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  30. If we only had sun, we'd have a desert. Suffering is what gives joy it's meaning. What a surprisingly beautiful video.
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  31. If you truly understood the amount of courage, wisdom and resilience that's inside of you, you wouldn't care about the mystical part of the law of attraction anyway. If you want something enough, you can make it happen, trust me.
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  32. I'm going to LA by myself in a few weeks (just for a holiday) and this is exactly the video I needed. Thank you Cole!
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  33. Plot twist: the grandpa is actually the old man from squid game. Nah but in all seriousness, love the message of this video. Great stuff 💙
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  34. I've always wanted to just move away to a city where I don't know anybody, but I've never been able to do it (although a big part of that is financial reasons) it comforts me to know that even people like you get nervous about doing stuff like that. Can't wait to see where this adventure takes you :)
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  35. The lady was so sweet, I'm glad things worked out for her.
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  36. How much you know, does not equal, your self worth. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self this.
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  37. Interesting point when going up and talking to strangers. When I went solo travelling to LA, I went up to a girl sitting by herself at Santa Monica pier, we spoke for a while and agreed we would hang out for a lot of the holiday as we were both solo travelling. She just had to go back to her hostel to make a call, and then we could meet up again, but she pied me and I never saw her again. This was actually a pretty anomalous experience, but she was like the first person I tried to speak to while I was there, so it kind of shook my confidence. Tbh, I think she was scared of some random guy coming up to her while she was by herself lol. Luckily I did end up making tons of great friends on that trip, but interestingly all the girls were a little nervous with me until I became good friends with another guy, and then while me and him were hanging out, we bumped into a group of girls, and then our groups combined. So there's a lot to take into account when going somewhere where you don't know anyone. If you're a guy, I recommend making friends with other guys first, preferably other guys that are solo travelling, and then you have social proof when going up to other groups/ people, and they'll be more comfortable around you. This was my experience anyway, I thought it was funny enough to share.
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  38. What a great and original video. This might be one of the best video's you've made yet. I've tried something similar before but chicken out just before talking to 90% of people. It's time to get over this fear of rejection, and its definately a skill I'll need to improve when I finally move to a new city by myself.
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  39. I've really struggled with going to different countries tbh. When I'm in my small town in Ireland for too long, I feel stuck and desperately want to explore. But when I go travelling, I usually have an amazing time, but will start to feel home sick after a while. Right now it feels like the best solution is to live in Ireland, but just travel to other countries for a couple weeks at a time before returning. Or maybe I just need to find someone to travel/move with, what do you guys think?
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  40. Most people (especially 20-something year olds) don't realise just how much time they have. Don't let the internet rush you, enjoy the ride 💙
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  41. Similar idea to a dopamine detox. In the self development world it's really easy to get caught up in "always making progress" , but the only reason you want to reach external goals is because you believe it will make you happy, when in reality, happiness can only be found in the present moment.
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  42.  @west6982  I would still get crushes on girls, but instead of asking them out I would waste all of my sexual energy on porn/masturbating. So I didn't stop being attracted to irl girls, but I had basically no drive to do anything about my feelings.
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  43.  @djpals101  Definitely a tricky question to answer. If you've really lost your authentic self, there are two things I would do. 1) Become ok with certain people disliking you (easier said than done but over time this mindset can be achieved) 2) Travel to somewhere were you don't know anyone. (Our mind craves consistency above a lot of things, so it almost forces us to act in ways in which are consistent with how we believe other people see us. If we don't know anyone around us however, then there will be no character our mind forces us to play) Do both of these things I believe you will find your authentic self. I'm not saying you have to move somewhere new permanently, but even just a couple of days will reveal the real you.
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  44. Two reasons people are productive: 1) For survival 2) For pleasure Stay curious :)
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  45. Money doesn't solve all of your problems, but it does solve all of your money problems.
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  46. I actually really needed this video right now, great stuff Cole :)
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  47.  @daniilromanenko3677  Or you can choose to not find it cringey. If you do that to enough people, eventually you'll find people who you can connect with on such a deep level it will literally blow your mind. Just my opinion.
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  48. As someone who turns 21 In just over a week, I've felt a lot of the pressures of being in my twenties and an official "adult" The number 1 tip I have for 20-something year olds, is to give yourself time to breath. Don't let the internet rush you, you're exactly where you need to be and you're going to achieve great things, they just take time 💙
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  49.  @ColeHastings  Thanks Cole, means a lot when you respond :)
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  50. The quality of your beliefs and values will determine the quality of your life. Your beliefs and values are heavily influenced by the people you spend time with, therefore, change the people you hang around with and the content you consume, and you'll change your life.
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  51. I personally have a friend who is very depressed, and yet he is in a loving and caring relationship. Some might say it's in spite of depression, but I think it's BECAUSE he is open about it with her. I think the whole thing is very natural with masculinity, to not want to show weakness, but it's getting outdated, and I'm glad Cole is continuing the conversation to get rid of this stigma. Being open and talking about your feelings is not a weakness, far from it, I consider it a super power.
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  52.  @nineinchthread  I guess yea life is strange did actually kind of touch on that, it's a great game/story.
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  53. This Is the ultimate video for critical thinking. Mainstream media shows you what they want you to beleive. Social media shows you what you want to beleive. Be smart, think for yourself.
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  54.  @Badboyifier  If moving is an option for you yea, I think moving to somewhere with people who like you for you, and appreciate your life choices is a great decision. If it's not possible, then yea, talking with them online is the next best thing. Get on calls with them, and text them regularly.
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  55. Pretty next level, I loved the addition of acting. Keep up the great content Cole!
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  56. Everything you own, holds a little piece of real estate in the back of your mind. Just like a little tick of stress. Meaning the more stuff you own, without realizing it, you're adding more and more stress into your life.
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  57. I think this is the exact opposite message of the video bro.
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  58.  @candy2678  I'm 21 lol. I'm the same, hardly anyone irl is into this type of stuff, which is why I want to travel the world to meet more people like this. Where do you live? I'm from Northern Ireland.
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  59. You lack confidence because you view the world in a hierarchy and you view yourself near the bottom. But you can avoid this competition by being authentic, no can compete with being you.
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  60. I've taken many drugs over the course of my life. It's been around 2 years since I've taken any serious or illegal drug and I can 100% say I feel significantly happier and satisfied with myself on a day to day basis. The biggest one for me to overcome now is drinking when going out with friends I havnt seen in a while, I get drunk as a way to numb the social anxiety. But I'm still working on improving that as well.
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  61. Instead of seeking to be liked, seek the people who like you for you.
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  62. I've never actually seen Wu Wei interpreted like this before. I've always known it as doing work that feels effortless, but I also love your version.
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  63. I've had very limited dating experience despite being 21, but I truly think it's silly to not try dating until your 30. The few women I've dated have taught me a lot about myself and want I really want out of a relationship and out of life. Right now, I'm feeling a little sad and in the blues over a girl who I was really vibing with but who doesn't wanna date me, but at least after asking her, I can move on, and have more data for the type of person I'm looking for. As Cole says, you have to be truly comfortable with the possibility of not finding "The One", while simultaneously being brave enough to keep search for them.
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  64.  @Kylej2406  That's amazing haha.
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  65.  @Kylej2406  Hahaha, thanks man, that trip actually turned out to be a slightly life changing experience. Have you ever gone solo travelling?
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  66. It's interesting, some people struggle because they don't take enough breaks in between stress, while others take far too many breaks and basically never experience stress. Life really is all about balance.
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  67. It's kinda funny how people say when your jerk off your brain becomes "desensitized to dopamine" and you find less please out of life and will be less motivated. And yet apparently that doesn't happen whenever you have tons of sex with your girlfriend. Biologically, the same chemicals are releasing in your brain, whether your orgasms comes from doing it solo or with a partner. Yet, as cole says in this video, most people feel like they gain powers when on nofap, and lose them overnight when they do the deed. The sooner you realise just how much of life comes down to your perspective and beliefs, the sooner you can be happy.
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  68.  @christcarscountry6870  lol, I always get the spellings mixed up.
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  69. If you'll never get to enjoy the boulder being at the top, then just enjoy rolling the boulder.
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  70.  @eduardaoliveira4072  If you want to hear more of what I have to say about this topic, you can watch the video on my channel called "why changing career will be the best decision you ever make". If you don't want to check it out, that's cool too :)
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  71.  @bloodheavn  thanks for the recommendation man, that's actually really useful :)
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  72.  @Ethereally13  Very well! I actually made life long friends lol. I made a vlog about it on my channel if you wanna watch the experience in real time. It's the solo traveling video from a while back.
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  73.  @miniweeddeerz1820  Interesting take :)
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  74.  @tehsensei  I also leave comments on his videos yes. But I always watch the videos first. In my comment, I literally talk about depression and relatioships, which is one of the last things Cole talks about in his video, literally after the part in the discord. Sorry if it offended you, I was just leaving my perspective.
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  75.  @manonavision1013  I've never left a generic quote on a video, all my comments are thoughtful responses after watching the video. However, I can see why this would still annoy you. Apologies if any offense is caused, however in my mind, leaving an actual comment (one that isn't spam) is basically the same as putting out a video. I'm just sharing my opinion.
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  76.  @manonavision1013  Not as in literally the same. But the same concept. You put out content online based on your experiences to help others. I'm not being disrespectful of his content, all I do is give my thoughts on each of his videos, same as anyone else leaving comments.
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  77. Do work that puts you In flow and makes you present. Hang with friends who make you present. Use time as a tool to organise and learn lessons, but don't forget to live your life.
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  78. Congrats on 300k Cole! Well deserved, can't wait to see what comes next.
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  79. Perhaps jealousy is just your body trying to tell you what you really want. Instead of being jealous, go out there and get it.
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  80. Literally stuck in Denmark right now and don't know anyone here, I can't overstate how perfect this timing was.
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  81. "You guys love to out quotes in the comments and be like wow, that's a great quote" Hahaha
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  82. Wow, beautifully shot and acted. This was an awesome film to experience and i hope it paves the way for more of this type of content on YouTube. Great job Cole.
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  83.  @Amy_399  I've actually met someone online who I might be interrailing Europe with later this year, I agree, I can do this!
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  84. Good shit.
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