Comments by "L.W. Paradis" (@l.w.paradis2108) on "Should you tell your employer that you are Mentally Ill? | Employment u0026 Discrimination" video.

A depressive episode or a panic attack is a "migraine." Remember that.
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Exactly. Consider, also, the real elephant in the room: there is a chance you could skew their health insurance pool. If you have a "meltdown," you have a diagnosis and are entitled to (expensive) care. That's what they don't want on their ledger. No job is your friend.
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You had nothing to "fess up." And you did not lie. I am wondering how you got "caught" in a lie. What happened to HIPPA?
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@roberthudson3386 Total agreement. And that makes it easier to stare a boss in the face and make your lips move to emit whatever sound is advantageous to you. I'm always struck by two things: how phony all the Heartwarming Stories are, about how this or that person with a serious disability was given a chance and thrived in the perfect job, when the truth is, people will almost always look for a way to get rid of you. I even know of cases, plural, where coworkers tried to get a cancer patient fired. The second is how easily a boss will lie to YOU, the worker, and how shocked people are every time it is done to them. They honestly don't expect it. Why? Because they've been candid the whole time, so they expect that their virtue will be returned to them? That would almost be laughable if it weren't tragic.
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@Lindsey0007 I've also found that you really can't tell people you're on disability. It shouldn't matter, but it's just one more personal fact that you cannot share. I know people who have kept it secret from their closest friends, for a decade. It's ridiculous, because you should be proud to have perservered and earned the benefits you are entitled to. Getting proper benefits is hard. Good for you for sticking with it and getting them.
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In the future, say migraine.
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@CreativeOne-ll8et The employer is considering the bottom line. People with greater than average needs for medical or counseling services skew their insurance pool. Their calculation is cold.
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@roberthudson3386 In the meantime, people should lie. Take it from someone who didn't and wishes she had. I'm not being facitious. Depression becomes a migraine, anxiety is a stomach flu. You have no duty to provide intimate personal information to people willing and eager to violate the FMLA or ADA and abuse you (as if you were the problem), and to take the bread off your table. Finding a better job is fine, working to form a union, even better, but in the meantime there is no such thing as Virtuous Unemployment.
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@fullmetalpleb You are a rock star. Imagine people thinking you have to spend your waking hours with such a group. Only someone who really has to would ever do it. One of the biggest mistakes people make in life is to spend time with the wrong people -- even if they are paid to do it. Anyway, bravo!!
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@Lindsey0007 I'm so sorry, and I know how it is. Truly, I do. I know of seven cases, confirmed, where people suffering from cancer were emotionally abused or excluded -- five were women, mostly with breast or ovarian cancers, and two were children, both boys. Yes, even pediatric cancer -- it's staggering. A person has to look for ways to find emotional sustenance and reinforcement. I can also tell you from experience that American culture is the worst where obsession with money is concerned, and bullying is rampant. It is VERY hard to maintain perspective. I spent five years outside the States, which was a revelation, and even I've been worn down. I have found reading helps much more than any more modern media, because the process gives you more control. Journaling is rewarding. I have found that I can lose myself in the arts. But it is still very hard. I also regret saying this, but giving others a "second chance" has almost never been a good policy -- which is hard, since I am only doing what I would hope others would do for me. Sometimes you can't. When you know who someone is, don't talk yourself out of believing it just to have company. These are not good times. It is very, very hard to maintain perspective and know that it is not you. Societies in decline are not fun, and we are always taught to self-blame. That is nonsense. This society is not doing well. Do all the things that could help you. Don't skimp on good food, exercise. Take breaks from news. Do the thing you liked most when you were 16 or 14, or 22. Reach back. Be kind to yourself.
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@melissamcnaughton5215 They are only considering the bottom line. You are entitled to medical and counseling services, which medical insurance must pay, so they see you as someone who skewed their insurance pool. Yes, the calculation is THAT cold. That is why they do what they do. Follow the money. Employer-based health care is absurd, and guarantees that a violation of your right to privacy will happen at some point, when you least can afford it.
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@Lindsey0007 Look forward to finding out if you can go to Canada! This too shall pass. You may look upon this time as your personal turning point!
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The default position is DO NOT divulge any medical information. The burden of proof has to be on divulging any such private information. That has to be the exception, and an exception requires a reason, a strategy of implemention, etc. Dr. Grande described the strategy in the event that disclosure is necessary perfectly. Consider something else: all the times "normal" people behave badly in the workplace, and consider how often it is habitual. If you are the one with the label of not being "normal," you could easily become their target, and have less support from management than you might otherwise have. This is a real risk.
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@KatJ3st Amen!
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@Lindsey0007 NEVER let them get inside your head. Anyone who blames you is a monster.
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@BeckBeckGo Of course. If you MUST hide a so-called "mental" or "emotional" illness to keep food on the table and a roof over your head, well then -- there are other words you can use that involve the brain and do not include "mental illness," etc. Virtuous unemployment is almost never an option. If it IS an option for you, hey, go for it. There's nothing wrong with that, either, if you can do it.
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