Comments by "L.W. Paradis" (@l.w.paradis2108) on "Chicago Mother Loses Custody Of Child Over Gender Identity: Kelsey Bolar" video.

Fathers with money and a new wife who want custody usually find a way to get it.
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The usual. Father has more money, father has new wife, father still mad at old wife, child having a difficult puberty lashing out at mother. The rest is details.
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@thealternative9580 Does someone think Cubans do this? Vietnamese?
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I certainly would. Those are made under oath and are legally relevant to the issue of custody. If you think people don't misperceive or outright lie in these emotionally fraught situations, then you are sorely lacking in experience. Having said that, a journalist should always find out what the other side has to say, then refer to the actual court record for both parties, to compare that to their interviews. The court record is the least likely to contain false assertions.
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@martman123456 I wasn't saying you lacked experience with court records. I was saying that if you think people don't misperceive or outright lie when telling their child custody stories, then you lacked experience. I still remember when a parent wanting full custody would claim the other parent was sexually abusing the child. In some jurisdictions, DAs had to start prosecuting parents for perjury to put an end to it. Since what's relevant in this case is what the court did, and it has to explain why it did what it did, that's the place to look. Is it possible the father is a "better" parent? Suppose he is. I still don't believe in making stuff up to get legal custody.
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I don't know. How rich is daddy?
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She was answering a question she assumed would be on people's minds. Certain types if homes can be psychologically distressing to LGBTQ youth. Try to imagine Glenn Greenwald born to a Fundamentalist mother. Don't worry, it didn't happen.
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What the father said in court is what he said under oath under penalty of perjury. Examining those documents to glean both sides is the best way to go in this case. Trust me on this.
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@scottmcloughlin4371 You're smart. Don't drink the koolaid. Everything you say could be true. But that's not why this happened. I still remember about 30 or 40 years ago, when custody disputes might feature claims of ritual satanic child abuse.
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@dloesch Good lord you're right.
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@brandonmiodowski5949 At age 12, when a child is entering puberty, no legal system should take their wishes as dispositive. They are entering the most tumultuous period of their lives of which they are fully conscious. They cannot make these decisions. That's not bad. That's how human beings develop. They are not supposed to have adult judgment yet. If they did, THAT would be abnormal, and a sign that they've been subjected to excessive responsibility too early in life.
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Oh brother. Where do we begin?
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I agree, though I think going to the actual court record for both parties is the best way to determine the facts, on both sides. The facts that matter, and that both are willing to state under oath, won't be found elsewhere.
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Therefore? What? Turnabout is fair play?
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Yes. Or at least I hope so.
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@brandonmiodowski5949 But your example is inapposite. You clearly had two parents who both loved you, and did not chastise you when you made your feelings known, and wisely advised you to wait two years, and then respected your choice. (BTW, your parents are saints. But you knew that.) There is no way in the world to make this into a law imposed on families, none. Your experience tells us nothing about what should happen in court. Court orders have to be obeyed. Disobedience usually means jail.
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@brandonmiodowski5949 P. S. Congratulations on the best parents I have ever heard of. And I've been around. I adored my parents, but wow. I think you win.
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@martman123456 I'm an attorney, too. I know people lie under oath and blurt out things that they normally wouldn't, due to the unfamiliarity of testifying and the sheer stress. I specialized in expert witness testimony and appeals, where you have to read and scrutinize every relevant document from the trial at least twice, though that's not usually enough. I have come to find those docs are the least likely to harbor lies, provided you know how to read them.
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@martman123456 I was wondering whether this organization made a FOIA request and got a redacted copy. In any event, watching the documentary with a critical eye would either answer the question or be conspicuously absent from discussion. And as I said, I would have told the mother not to make this documentary. If this is indeed a problem, then there are ways to make it known to the public without risking any particular minor child's privacy.
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"Toxic?" Is that a legal term? Courts are not supposed to decide these matters, or any other, on the basis of fiction. When they do, there's your outrage.
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@christopherhorn1161 If I were advising her, I'd tell her to fix herself up and get married to a man with money. I'd never advise her to make this documentary. Marriage proves nothing, marriage above your social class likewise. I've seen deeply disordered people pull it off. Depending on the fashion of the day, it could even be easier for them.
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Every mother and daughter go through real tough times at puberty. Every. Unless they are both pathological liars and truly don't care about anyone on a human level except themselves. But sure, anything's possible. That's why the law intervenes in these disputes only on solid grounds.
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Any evidence the child had it and was deprived of proper care?
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@willarmendariz7663 Consult the statistics. Fathers generally do not want full custody, especially not when an "abuse or neglect" legal standard has not been met (and when there's no huge inheritence from a grandparent at issue, or something equally bizarre.) When they do, and they can present means and a home with two parents, they usually win.
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@garrickrespress People like to pretend stuff. Those who don't are odd, yes.
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@Sara-he4dn Agreed.
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@t.c.8837 A mother briefly lost custody for not being vaccinated. The father's attorney quickly stated that his side did not consider that relevant to their dispute and did not themselves cite her for it. The judge then reversed himself.
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I'd trust the mother's in-court statements, made under oath, much more than what she has to say outside of court as well, of course -- and for the same reason.
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