Comments by "L.W. Paradis" (@l.w.paradis2108) on "Light Watkins"
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You are being lied to, and it is a vastly simpler than you think. People label certain postures as signs of weakness, and react mindlessly to them, not mindfully. Blaming a victim is convenient -- you even see abused children blamed, even preschool children. This is convenient because it lets bystanders off the hook. If the victim is responsible, then they can conveniently turn their backs and be on their way. How nice.
Consider this: you are a passenger in a solid car with a great driver at 10 am on a dry, sunny day. You get broadsided by a drunk driver, hit and run. You have zero responsibility for the accident, yet full responsibility for participating in your rehab and doing all the exercises, eating well, and making your psychological needs known in an appropriate way. That's already a lot. And zero of it is your fault. Not a tiny bit. Literally zero. Think this through.
I recommend a real book: Peter Levine, In an Unspoken Voice. Please get that, and take your time with it.
There's also The Body Keeps the Score, and In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts. These are real books by real people.
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@JanetSmith900 I think it is very unlikely that anyone actually repels other people, and in any event, dwelling on it cannot possibly lead to any desirable outcome.
I've been around, and I have never seen it. Envy, resentment, or fear of being labeled a "certain kind" of person are the usual reasons for shunning someone or abusing them, coupled with what I said before: fear of being called upon to stand up for another person or help them in some other, tangible way.
You'd be surprised how common envy is. You may think you have nothing to envy . . . Guess again. It is more random than you might think. When something (like envy) is common, it sometimes lands on a person because they happen to be present. If someone else had been there, they would have been targeted instead.
Try observing people who seem to be popular and who seem to be unpopular, as dispassionately as possible, and then try to identify patterns. Then see whether you have a tendency to talk yourself out of your impressions ("that can't be," "that must be," etc.). There is little "can't be" and less "must be" in this world.
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