Comments by "JLH" (@Kyarrix) on "HealthyGamerGG" channel.

  1. A friend shared this channel with me a week or two ago. Since then I've watched a lot of the videos and I am very much impressed. You are providing effective therapy for a large audience of people who need it and would not otherwise get it. People who can't afford it or are not inclined to find therapy. The cost of procrastination is the life you could have lived. That is brilliant, painful and exactly right. I have or had a close friend, I am sharing this video with him in the hopes that he will take it to heart and use it as a jumping off point. There are other videos here that would be helpful in addition to DBT and other tools. I am grateful to you for these videos. If you ever doubt yourself look through the comments at the number of people whose lives you have saved or greatly improved.
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  2. @Mani_Katti  no it isn't therapy but it has helped many who otherwise would not have gotten help because of a lack of motivation or money. With this they can start their journey and make real progress. Then they are more likely to get therapy when it's affordable.
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  3. @czarkowskipawelyt  what do you mean? Women do not lose respect for men when they show a bit of emotion. We prefer it. If there are women who do that then avoid them because they're dummies or damaged themselves or taught the wrong way to be. There are plenty of damaged women out there too.
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  4. This was a perceptive comment. I think if you had made this comment when the video came out it would have been close to the top. For what it's worth, you're right. I'm not sure he could have pointed that out easily but it would have been good if he had. Are you studying psychology? Or just naturally good at spotting things?
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  5. I know people who are in their thirties and early 40s and beyond that who are less self-aware than you are. It isn't a competition, you know that. Your comment comes from that negative mindset. You're seeing things negatively. Can you get therapy or take the class that Dr K offers here? The coaching? It says it's $30 an hour, that's not terribly unaffordable? If you can't then you can watch the videos. You can make a small step each day. You don't want to be typing the same comment in 5 years or in 15 years. The time to change is now. The help that is offered, start to engage with it, and then get some real help if you need it. Don't give yourself excuses, don't say it's too late because it isn't remotely too late.
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  6.  @cierautumn  Yes and you will. Recognizing it is the first step, having self-awareness and wanting to change. You might sign up for the coaching that he offers, it's not very expensive. Don't put it off. Not even for a day. Tomorrow by definition never comes it's always tomorrow. I think you can do it. You have to believe in yourself. I have done very difficult things and I will have to continue to do them and I will. You will too.
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  7. It is a struggle unfortunately. Especially since the pandemic, a lot of therapists left the profession because they were just overworked and underpaid and it was stressful, as it was for everyone. You keep on trying. Sometimes you'll find that perfect person in a place you wouldn't expect to. It took me awhile to find someone I really felt comfortable with who got me, who understood me. But it will happen and it is worth the effort to keep trying. Please keep trying. I hope you read this comment even though it is a month later. Don't give up. We're coming into the holidays now and for some of us that is a very difficult time of year. Don't give up. A stranger on the internet is telling you that it's worth making the effort. Be the best person you can be, help others where you can without being taken advantage of. Show up for people when you can. Sometimes that can be enough to get us through, knowing that we are helping others who need it.
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  8. That's BS. No one thinks that way. Women want men to show emotion. Ask me how I know.
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  9. You can help yourself. Dr K channel has a lot here that speaks to that kind of issue. This video does. His other videos do. Make a deal with yourself, you'll watch one of his videos and then you will implement the advice he gives. You can watch the video and make notes, the notes should be honest because they are only for yourself. Then put that advice into practice. Don't say God help you, help yourself. There are a lot of techniques here for breaking that cycle. Don't feel lost, don't feel helpless, watch the video, make some notes and then put that into practice thank you. Make friends who will hold you accountable. And you can hold yourself accountable too. People have broken that cycle, you can too. Decide that you will and then do it.
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  10. This is a long time after the fact but how is your diet? What do you eat? The diet we've been taught to eat in the United States for example can contribute to these kinds of issues. Please consider reading Dr Georgia Ede's book, Change your Diet, Change your Mind. The processed carbohydrates, lack of good protein and fat cause issues. Please take a look at this book and consider a different diet if you have not already in the intervening 2 years encountered it.
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  11. @cjlister8508  unfortunately the vegan diet is associated with a lot of these issues even though it comes from a good place. I was almost vegetarian at one point. A vegan diet does not provide the nutrients we need. Is it better than eating fast food and processed food, yes, but it is far from ideal. We evolved on a diet of primarily meat and fat. Fruit and vegetables were supplements to our diet. When we came across a bush with ripe berries, we ate berries. If we happened to find a beehive, we had honey, it was a rare treat. We ate fruit and vegetables seasonally, when they were ripe, when we found them. We didn't eat them everyday or all year round. Today with the advent of mass agriculture we have access to fruit and vegetables all year round and that might sound good. It isn't though for several reasons. First, we no longer grow our fruit and vegetables in fields that are fertilized by animals. Instead we use chemical fertilizers and pesticides, including glyphosate. Our exposure to these chemicals is much higher than our bodies can tolerate. Then too is the fact that fruits and vegetables contain anti-nutrients, I won't go into a lengthy discussion of those, if you are interested I'll point you in the right direction. Plants don't have teeth and claws, they can't fight animals or humans off. Instead they have chemical defenses. Many of the plants we eat routinely have to be prepared very carefully or they are poisonous. Even those we eat routinely have compounds that are harmful. We've been told that fruit and vegetables are the best things for us to eat, the seventh-day Adventist Church believes that meat causes lustful thoughts and are against it for that reason. They helped formulate dietary recommendations. There is so much here that is outside the scope of a brief response. I have spent the past 9 years educating myself in this area. I'm an attorney by profession but I am seriously considering changing profession because there's so much in this area that we can do to help people. I can give you some good references if you're interested. But the summary would be eat meat, not lean meat, fatty meat. When possible eat meat that comes from grass-fed, grass finished animals not mass-produced meat from concentrated animal feeding operations or feedlots. The vegan or vegetarian diet is not cruelty free, it doesn't protect animals. A carnivore or meat-based diet involves eating a cow over the course of a year. A vegetarian or vegan diet involves killing hundreds of thousands of small animals that would otherwise live in the fields, killed by combines, killed by the chemicals and fertilizers, glyphosate, animal habitats destroyed. There are several good books on this topic that are available. If you want to incorporate some fruit and vegetables into your diet after a period of avoiding them, incorporate one at a time and see how your body responds, how you feel mentally, psychologically and emotionally. If you're fine then it's reasonable for you to eat that fruit or vegetable in moderation. But remember, seasonally, locally grown, organic. Most of the fruit we have available to us now has been hybridized, altered to be bigger and sweeter, to contain more fructose. As you may know, only the liver processes fructose. We have non-alcoholic fatty liver disease in children where it was almost unheard of in the past. Type 2 diabetes used to be called adult onset diabetes, now we have it in children. Returning to the topic of a vegan diet it's not just B12 that is lacking. I've written a lot and I should probably end here but if you want more information, if you're genuinely open to more information I'm happy to provide it.
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  12.  @Theartistformallyknownasnog  I wrote a lengthy response, I spent about 20 minutes writing it but I don't see it here. Did you get it?
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  13. When you feel a negative emotion, let yourself feel it. Tell yourself that it will pass, take a step away and look at it: "This is something I know, it's not going to hurt me, I can feel this and I will be okay." Let yourself ride it out. That doesn't mean remaining steeped in it but it also doesn't mean pushing it away and distracting yourself or using a substance to feel better. In the moment when you are feeling it it can be scary. We have patterns, responses that we are used to. Remind yourself that it's okay. Let yourself feel it, look at it, understand it and then you'll be able to let it go. Maybe not the first time but you will. If you can't do this the first time, be kind to yourself. It is difficult. But with more understanding and patience, you will be able to feel the emotions, ride them out, understand where they came from and then you'll my able to let them go. There is something I've learned. Some of the responses I have to things that no longer serve me, it's important to recognize that they did. In the past, those ways of behaving saved my life or let me get through difficult situations. My Alexander technique teacher, when I said that I want to get rid of those ways of responding, said this: "Treat yourself with kindness. You can look at those ways of responding and reacting and recognize that they helped you. Then you can turn to them in yourself and say the equivalent of "Thank you. You saved me and helped me. We got through it. I am a strong person. Now though, I'm in a different situation and we have to change how we respond to things." In other words treat yourself with kindness and respect, when we try to change patterns of behavior that developed out of necessity, we should treat those patterns with respect rather than just trying to throw them away. They exist for a reason, they are part of us. They might have saved us by getting us through difficult times. Now we can recognize that the situation is different and we want to change how we respond. Finding a good therapist to help might be useful but it is difficult to find good therapists.
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  14. This comment is very late, the video is 2 years old but for anyone experiencing any of these kinds of issues, please consider reading Dr Georgia Ede's book, Change your Diet, Change your Mind. We are unfortunately given a lot of inaccurate advice with regard to diet and the reasons for that advice are complicated beyond this brief comment. If anyone reads this and is interested respond and I'll try to explain in greater depth.
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  15. You have the power to take that back. They might have destroyed a part of your life but you have the power now. Take that power and create a life that you will be happy in and feel proud of. You aren't dead inside as your YouTube name says. You have choices. This is coming from someone who was horrifically abused. Everyday I get up and I make the choice to do the best I can, to become the best version of myself that I can be. That means pain, it means crying at times, sometimes it means feeling very alone and not understood but I have remade myself. You can do this.
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  16. The first thing you should do is read Change your Diet, Change your Mind by Dr Georgia Ede. What we eat has a very, very significant effect on our our emotional and psychological health in addition to our physical health. What you've been told to eat isn't necessarily correct. That doesn't mean that you don't need a therapist, you might but this is something you can put a few hours into first and start addressing right away.
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  17. Or you can solve the underlying issues rather than being addicted to a drug.
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  18. Carnivore diet. If you can't wrap your mind around that then at least get rid of all processed foods, grain and seed oils, those are all the oils sold in the supermarket that our marketed as heart healthy vegetable oils. They aren't heart healthy and they aren't vegetable oils. Please, please do some research into the carnivore diet or a meat-based diet. You might want to read Change your Diet, Change your Mind by Dr Georgia Ede. That is a really good place to start, I don't mean that you haven't started it sounds like you are far along the path of figuring things out and doing well. But for a variety of reasons, diet isn't emphasized and it should be. Our diet is the one factor that has a tremendous effect on our lives, how we feel emotionally, psychologically and our physical health and well-being. I'm happy to share any information. Books, videos, lectures and articles on PubMed, there is so much information out there. I hope you continue to do well. Life can be very difficult, most of us here know that. Feel very good about yourself for making progress in the right direction.
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  19. But now you know and you can change the things you've been doing if any of them would fit that description. Once we know, we can make changes. That's a gift. I'm glad you encountered this video, I'm glad I found it too, it helps explain a lot about a friend to me.
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