Comments by "Robert Morgan" (@RobertMorgan) on "Better Bachelor"
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It's also because older generations were fucking terrible at documenting their stuff! I work in a water plant that's 25 years old, I even still have original employees, and ALL THE TIME we run into shit that's not right, why is it like this, oh look this equipment was installed in 1999, failed in 2003, was replaced with a new spec item, the manual was never replaced, the serial not recorded, now it's failed again 15 years later and we have zero info, no specs, the original and as builts don't match, so you start over and respect everything because of course the replacement is no longer manufactured, it was discontinued 10 years ago, so spec a replacement, cool, now it's a 25 WEEK lead time because COVID. No shit, I'm waiting YEARS on critical, need it today equipment.
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That's why as a man you REDEFINE success.
She's successful, that's great, can I meet her husband and kids?
Oh she doesn't have those, then she's a failure. The point of a career and all that IS GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING KIDS.
Why would I buy a car if I don't want to drive?
I feel like a failure all the time, high powered career, wealthy, everyone likes me, but I'm 41, single, no kids, I have nothing I VALUE.
They need to think about what they value.
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Stories like this are why I'd love to be wealthy enough to have life on autopilot and just wander the country randomly helping people. Like coming across this guy on the side of the road, seeing his make and model, and coming back with a new radiator, some jugs of water, and a six pack, because why not?
Something small to me but huge to someone else. To me it's a Monday, to them it's the first day of a new life, not just because their material situation Improved, but because they now live in a world where sometimes, people DO help each other, and that's a better world.
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I've been saying this to anyone who will listen since I had the thought:
The only people who can have power over you are those you WANT something from. So if I want nothing from you, you have no power over me. No leverage, nothing to offer. All you can do is threaten, and that's a no-go for me.
In my work, I'm topped out at my organization, I've achieved all my goals there, and I'm maxed out on the pay scale, and there's nowhere to promote me, so when my boss gives me static, I remind him there's nothing here for me to be ambitious about, you have nothing to offer me, all you can do is try to threaten me with my job, and that's always losing strategy for someone who doesn't NEED said job.
They're locked in here with me, not the other way around.
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Men cry not for validation, but for TRUST.
If I cry in front of you as a man, that's probably the most trust I can ever place in you, as someone who does permitted confined space work where I literally rely on my coworkers for my life.
It'll either drive that person away forever, or forever bond you for life.
I still remember my best friends dad's funeral, huge event, and him as the eldest son had to portray absolute strength, and he did.
And after, when he broke down to me, and we cried together because his dad was my second dad, we'll never forget that, and he'll be there when my dad passes for me. After that, one night when he randomly called me for help because of a family situation, I let him move into my college condo, he lived there in a new city for a year, started a new career, met his new wife and has two great kids with her...and he has that life because I made the decision to pickup the phone and repay that favor that night, so think about that.
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Years ago I called it living my life by the Triple F Policy:
Unless you're one of my Fs, and those are family, friend, or someone I'm fucking, I have nothing for you, not a crumb of food, not a single round, not a milliliter of water, I have nothing for you. You're on your own.
Now, if you want to become part of my F list, there is a place, let's talk.
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That rarely works. You can try telling them hey, here's all the reasons you want and need me as a man, your life is in shambles girl, you're broke, you're childless, you're THIRTY, I can rescue you, they seem to hate that even though it's true.
I hate the type of exchanges where a woman is like "I have this impossible dream..."
And I can legitimately reply "Oh, I already have that, in fact I have two, if you play your cards right maybe you can have two of them too..."
And the OFFER goes right over their head "Oh, maybe that would be possible SOMEDAY, but probably not...".
Oh well, if she's too dumb to take a hint that big she's not for me. My woman has to GET my humor and entendres.
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Holy shit welcome to my world, I run a 25 year old water treatment plant. You probably know what that's like, tons of high tech automation that's state of the art, for 1999. Not so compatible with 2023 tech.
Good electricians come in and use PLCs to paper over our old shit...great electricians and electrical engineers came in and did a whole legacy integrating modern scada 'graft' into our old stuff last year and it's working great, finally, after a year of refining and literally millions of taxpayer dollars.
There is no option to replace a lot of our equipment, MOST OF ITS NOT MANUFACTURED ANYMORE, so the only option is cobbling lol.
Stuff like taking this multiplexed tone from a level sender, converting that to 4-20ma to then feed that signal to a digital converter to feed a plc that then reverts back to analog to trigger a mechanical relay, because the system that used to actuate that was a contactor so old and beat up it died and was irreplaceable.
And don't get me started on the TESTING of all that. I spend hours running tests, can I do THIS and make it fail, what if THIS happens, how about these two things at the same time, oh that did fail, send the bro-grammers a ticket...
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My buddy is a software engineer, he lost a job opening at Nintendo, his dream job, because in an interview an old engineer asked him questions he had no clue how to answer.
The question: he drew two boxes on a whiteboard, one labeled CPU, one labeled RAM, and a line drawn between them. He then asked to describe this relationship...he didn't even know it was called a bus, he had no clue because he focused so hard on programming, he's so SILOED, he'd never learned how hardware works, it's not his specialty. The engineer was very upset with this, my buddy went to a top school and has a degree, how are they not teaching this he demanded, followed by a 20 minute lecture about how data moves through busses on the main board.
He's worked for the DOD for years making tons of money, and didn't know what to me was stuff I learned at age 10 building my first computer, actual building, I had to solder my cards and boot from 5" floppies, I'm old.
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I can confirm men somewhat do this as well, when I started my current job the 'main guy' that runs everything invited me to the Texas Holdem game they would have Fridays and big holidays, a big group of coworkers, all men. This was at the company christmas party, we work a half-day and have a catered lunch, then off for the rest of the day. I declined, I'd just started working there and was getting back on my feet financially. Maybe another time they said.
The next Christmas, had a great first year, I get invited to the same game again, and this time "You've been here a year so we know you got money...", but I declined again.
It's been five years now and I've never been invited to anything with that group every again, and now in a few months that entire group has quit, been fired, or got retired.
I had others not in that 'group' I talked to and they said that's how it works, they invite you to the clique twice and if you say no both times, there is not a third.
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For example, to make my workplace ADA compliant, which it's not because it's not a public building, but for the sake of argument... we'd have to rebuild our entry ramp and redesign the entire building, which would be a change big enough the DNR and EPA would have to sign off on it, that's a multi year process and tens of thousands just in design and engineering the changes, probably millions in materials and labor, and that's one water plant in a town of 3000 people in Missouri, now multiply that by thousands of towns nationwide...and that's just one small utility in government that might have dozens of such non-conpliant buildings. It's a huge lift.
Like the new water lead rules that take effect this year, we need to find, Id, and catalog every lead containing water line in the nation, BY LAW.
Good luck. My system has water lines over a century old, that no one knows where it is, no maps, but we're liable to the feds.
Makes me want to go stock at Walmart sometimes.
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Iirc, the factor that explains that is married men get nagged more so they go to the doctor more than they want so things get found and dealt with faster.
I can't count the # of times I've had a minor ailment and my sisters are nonstop go to the doctor, go to the clinic, go to the ER, call 9/11, and I'm like it's just nausea, it's just a sprain, I'm just sick, it's only COVID, if all the DR will do is prescribe antibiotics or painkillers and tell me to rest, I CAN DO THAT MYSELF.
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Water system director, and all my workers are also firefighters, and we're on the Mississippi River...in an emergency like this they can use salt water, or river water, but it will basically destroy the fire equipment. What they can do is fill tankers from the ocean/river, truck the water to the scene where it's needed, and dump it into giant swimming pool type deals called drop tanks or drafting tanks, then it's pumped into the fire trucks and pressurized to be sprayed on the fire.
Salt water and untreated river water are very corrosive or can have debris that can damage pumps and tanks, that's the only real issue.
When life is on the live F the equipment is what they tell me, and I agree. AS THE MAN in charge of my city's water supply and fire protection hydrant system, an unstoppable fire with inadequate supply to suppress it is what keeps me awake at night. I've worked 20 hour shifts running the treatment plant, taken a 4 hour break, worked another 20 hours, break, for days on end in structure fires before, it's the job.
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As a single man, nearly every decision I make goes through the check process of 'Does this action serve my goals?"
If it's a no, I reconsider, if yes I proceed.
Right now my goals are get laid, get a girl friend, get married, have a family.
Old achieved goals I no longer think about are get a career, own a home, own a farm, own everything debt free.
If you're not living a life in service to your own goals, then ask yourself what master you ARE serving, because if you're not serving yourself, you're a servant to another.
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I hear that. I had a moment the other day that made me feel REALLY bad, it's kind of dark but let's go there:
I realized I'd lied to myself, in a big way. As a teenager, I remember having the idea to do what you mentioned. It was deer season. A beautiful, cool fall day. And I got out of my deer stand, kneeled in my field, put the .280 Remington rifle under my chin and asked myself "Why NOT?"
The answer I came to was uncertainty, the promise of the future, and I made a promise to myself IT WILL GET BETTER, YOU'LL SEE!, and I believed myself, got up, went home, and tried my best.
I realized the other day I'd literally lied to myself with a gun to my own head. It was that easy to lie, even to me. It hasn't been appreciably better. BUT it's been tolerable. I'm GLAD I chose life, but If I'd seen the future of now, I probably wouldn't. But that part of me that can't suppress curiosity for the future is still alive in me, I don't think it can be killed, but it's getting pretty fatigued.
I don't have all the answers, and if someone asked me I'd probably say 'that's your choice, don't let anyone else make it for you'.
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@nucleargrizzly1776 I worked in academia for almost 8 years, in IT, and more than once I saw cunty profs literally say "well she's just an adjunct, she isn't even tenured!", to have it explained to her that while that's true, that doesn't mean you get to bogart the room for extra time that eats into her class. She booked the room same as you and it's unfair to her students, stfu, from the dept dean lol.
It was an awakening, I'm like how can the 'best of us', the 'educated', the alleged intelligencia, be so childish and petty?
Then it's like oh yeah, they're still just PEOPLE...
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I had my sort-of supervisor, new woman, try to pull that card. "Well, no one gave us a MANUAL for this job, ok, we're figuring this out!"
So I said what I'm asking about IS in the manual, the employee handbook, this page, this paragraph, the thing YOU signed the form saying YOU read fully, understood, and agreed to abide by fully or be fired, it's right there, so YES you DID get a manual, and this obligation you were supposed to fulfill by June...it's December. We want our money.
It was payout for our unused sick time, dozens of employees, hundreds of dollars each, delayed 8 months because she didn't know her job as well as we did.
Then she died suddenly and the disarray got worse.
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Hey, we're twins! At 32 I moved back at the parents request to take care of the farm and home. I was the only male sibling, thus the only single, unmarried, no kids sibling, so it was my duty. As I was told "All your sisters have HUSBANDS AND KIDS, you don't have a wife so you have no excuse...".
At 39 I'm still taking care of my dad and inheritance. Mom died in 2020. I feel like an absolute failure as a man being childless and unmarried at 39.
I have literally everything I want or could desire today, except that.
it just feels like such a WASTE, I have all this, I want to help people, I want to protect people, I want to support someone, but no one cares.
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Duty. That's why. My parents raised me, and when in their late 60s needed help, it was my DUTY as the only son, and the only sibling who was still unmarried and childless because I'm a man, lol, to move back in to take care of the family and farm when I was asked to.
I was 31, I gave up my home, my career, and everything, friends, I'd built in the city over a decade and did the right thing.
In the seven years I've been back I've built a career, became a millionaire through inheritance, and gained success through charity work.
And I'm lonely as fuck, hate my life, and yeah. But I'm doing the right, REAL MAN thing and honoring those who gave so much to raise me, which obviously no women gives a fuckin' shit about in 2022. I can't imagine it would be any different if I moved out to anywhere.
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Its the other way: the most dangerous man is the one that wants nothing.
You can't control me because you have nothing I want, you can't coerce me. All they can do is try to take, threaten.
But yeah, if you want nothing, no one has power over you. If you want nothing, there's nothing they can give you, so f em.
My boss, i don't need my job, and I have nowhere to be promoted, so its very little leverage.
Ambition is the easiest way to leverage all people. Once you satisfy it, no one can control you.
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I've felt that for a while now, I thought if I check all the boxes, it'll just happen.
But, no. I made it, career, house, millions in property, in shape, no exes, zero debt, college degree, and I've been alone since Bush was President lol.
Turns out all that stuff women demand, get it and they still don't seem to care.
Everyone says ignore and they'll chase you...when does that start, do I need to ignore women for 20 years or 30 minimum before that effect kicks in?
I can't face the next 40 years if they're like the last 40 I lived. Getting used and exploited would be positive attention at this point.
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@themarathoncontinues4211 if you don't approach how do you pull?
Waiting for the right woman! My father is an example, he was single, never wanted kids or marriage. My mother went after him, asked him out many times, finally he agreed and they were married 59 years with us 3 kids.
Of course, my mother was like that, she never met a stranger ever, she was everyone and anyones friend, didn't take people's shit, and took and did what she wanted. Also probably helped my dad was 6'+ and 101st Airborne shredded.
Do the work if you want the rewards, ladies.
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Mine is mostly tame, serious relationship, engagement, 3.5 years in and she doesn't come to my college graduation. I'm obviously worried, she said she'd make it, everything was fine, right? Find out later that day things apparently were very NOT fine, according to her, because she'd left me because she met a new guy 'at a party, and he treats her like a friend'.
That was 2006 and I never really got over it, been single since then.
Consolation prize, she married him, had 4 kids, and he divorced her last year. I can still only see it as him winning because he got three kids out of the deal, he's won at life. I have nothing.
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And they also don't realize that all that effort that goes to waste, if you went to the person she was dressing for, and told them she dressed this way for them, even if that's a lie or her gaming, it would flatter the vast majority of men.
"She wore THAT, for ME?! She must really be into me, that's hot, I should probably see where this goes...".
The biggest revelation I've ever had was saying to someone I liked "I wish we could have done X all this time we didn't...
And them replying "That's all I ever wanted too...BUT YOU NEVER ASKED".
That was a haunting wakeup call, you mean, the things I want in life, I can get them, I just need to ASK? How am I 40 and just learning such a simple lesson?
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And as someone coming up on 17 years of working for public government, I can almost guarantee the MEN in charge of running the Fire Dept and their water system will have the CYA memos they've sent in the past saying "We HAVE to do things THIS WAY, not the stupid way YOU want us to, or else people will DIE"
And they got the reply from those in charge, "Noted. Now do it like WE said anyway". Because I've been there. I've sent those emails. Hey, you ordered me to operate in this way, here are the risks I can foresee if we implement that, and I need you to acknowledge that I made you aware of those risks because I will not be responsible for them, and I've had to lay an email like that on the Mayor's desk too and say hey, what happened happened because YOU overrode my professional opinion, so that's on you.
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A day in my life:
I go to bed at 11pm after taking care of my 82 year old dad who lives with me, because he's old and stays up late.
Up at 3 or 4am, contemplate my will to live while I make coffee. Take the dozens of supplements, out the door by 5am to the gym, run 3 miles, 20 minutes of stairs, lift, shower, at work by 7am.
Fast until about 10am, usually have a keto Factor meal, 500-700 calories.
Work my job managing a water treatment utility serving 10,000 customers 24x7, work 10 hours.
Swipe right on a few thousand tinder profiles, 5-6 a second, in breaks hoping for one match every other week or so...
Leave work, back to the gym for an hour or two to lift.
Back home to cook dinner for dad, probably get super high, in bed my 10 or 11 to do it again.
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Some giant chick matched with me on Tinder, I decided to troll her a bit because she said in her bio she was way into fantasy.
So I asked which she liked better, Rangs of Power or House of the Dragon.
She said HOTD was too violent, she liked Rangs, of course. I asked which Tolkienian race she would be, of course it was an Elf. You're like 350lbs, so that's true fantasy lulz.
Anyway, after the Rangs finale, I messaged her "Hey, so Galadriel apparently wants to F Sauron, and her actions actually destroyed Middle Earth, brought about Mordor, and doomed mankind to suffering, so good job elves!
And I never heard back lol.
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How do we have a shortage of housing with a collapsing birth rate, record high housing inventory, giant subdivisions carpeting everywhere and going up at breakneck pace? It's not like some disaster erased millions of homes or something, the housing is still there and more numerous than ever.
It's home PRICING you've identified as the problem.
BTW, I own my own home, and my own 100 acre farm worth millions right now, inherited, paid in full, outright owned, can't be taken. No woman seems to give a fuck because I'm wealthy, as in I have assets, but I'm cash poor, only making $36k/year. If you can't FLASH IT, they don't care about net worth.
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Oh, wow, look at that, say his attorneys, the GFM is exactly 3,542,653 dollars, and our invoice is 3,542,654 dollars, that's so convenient. You owe us $1. We'll take all the rest.
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The saddest part of watching all this, all the drama, all the hatred, all the crazy...
Is I'm secretly jealous these guys are getting this attention, horrible as it is.
Myself, if I want to import a 350lb Asian or African woman to marry, I have literally hundreds of those matches on Tinder, lol.
Meanwhile, I swipe right on 3-5 profiles a second, hundreds per session, every day, and I might get 1 local match a week at best.
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Like I've never understood the "gay cake" debacle, the baker that refused the wedding cake for the gay couple.
I'm a capitalist, I thought the idea was to make money. Some gay dudes want me to decorate a cake, ok, you want giant cocks on it or something? Oh, just happy wedding, ok. You have USD or bitcoin to pay with, cake coming right up!
If I wasn't there to take money to put things on cakes, why TF am I running a cake store, to turn away money? I could do that way easier than running a business lulz.
Hitler want a swasitka cake....does he have USD? What color swastika?
I worked at Dairy Queen for a bit and I made some CRAZY cakes, one wanted giant tits on the cake with congrats on the boob job, so I icing piped some gargantuan tits onto this cake, it was rockin' lol. I make a cake for some people who wanted it as a gag for a buddy getting out of prison, so I made a prison break themed cake real fast. Our policy was "It is going in the display case? No? Then they can have whatever they want on THEIR cake. Sky's the limit. We're adults lol.
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All I can say is, as a bi guy, I have a boyfriend (I guess, fwb) that's satisfied me and cuddled me a night or two a week for like 10 years now, I go over to his house....
I don't know his last name, I barely know his first name, we have pet names...we don't care about that crap, we're not there to talk. He never asked for my story, tbh I really don't CARE all that much about his, I'm just there to bust and go, and he knows that and likes it. Neither of us want more.
That's an impossible fantasy to have that with a woman, they'd never understand it. THEY have no concept of them taking care of a man, like actually caring.
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They were born on third base and think they got robbed of a homerun.
Fun fact: when one man started adding chlorine to drinking water, that one technological advance TRIPLED the world population in just over 100 years. It's the most impactful invention in human history, we eradicated waterborne disease overnight. Most people don't know that, and when the water treatment plants go down, literally hundreds of millions, perhaps billions of people could die horrifically in like a month, because they have no clue about the dangers of drinking water in nature or how to sanitize it.
I work in water treatment and I always ask my friends who grew up in the US, how many people have you ever known that got dysentery, typhus, typhoid, giardia, or cryptosporidium? Zero.
Because we eradicated those, IF we have infrastructure up and running.
They don't even know what those diseases are, their doctor doesn't know what it is, it's so rare. Ignorance kills.
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Not me, 39, single, never married, childless, and I've never taken women, chasing, all that serious, so I've been single forever, decades.
When you don't chase and ignore women, being self absorbed women THEY JUST IGNORE YOU.
If ignoring and not chasing worked, I'd be swimming in poon.
After almost 40 years I need a new strat, this ain't working and I want to continue my family line.
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@Justsomeguysomewhere teach a class, man. I can't be the only 39 year old clueless man alone since Bush was President, lol.
I get zero attention or interest, at least that I notice. The more I ignore, the more I get ignored.
I have everything I need except game lol. House, career, property, I deadlift 315, I run a 30 min 5K, career, zero debt, no exes, but still invisible.
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Friends and I were hanging outside their house one night, saw the neighbor drive by and SOCK the chick in the passenger seat in the face. She bails out, runs a bit, my friends white knight and talk to her, she gets back in the car, they go to the house next door. Friends call 9/11. A county police officer arrives, talks to them, goes next door to talk to the neighbor, says everyone there including the victim says it's all good, nothing he can do.
My friends didn't like that, they call dispatch AGAIN. Same officer comes back, now it's all my friends, ID, searches, statements, and if you call again it's YOU that will be arrested.
20 minutes later, same cop is BACK, THE NEIGHBORS called them for AN ESCORT out of the neighborhood because US being outside intimidated and harassed THEM.
He locked my friends in a second police car while the other car led them 'to safety' then let my friends out. Neighbors moved away shortly thereafter.
You never know where it will go when you add police to a situation, so don't, was the lesson to me there.
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@angrydragon4574 ALSO, I missed a chance at that in college. I worked with a chick that seemed to like me (but I'm 101% oblivious so who knows) but she was nice, funny, smart, gorgeous, Chinese. I found out after a while that her father was a high-ranking military member and that's why she had lots of older and younger siblings despite the One Child Policy. If you're in the club the rules don't apply. They were wealthy to the point they felt shamed she was making them look bad and WORKING while in the US, women don't WORK, are you in trouble, do you need us to send more $, they told her.
I wonder what that could have led to if I'd perused it. For all I know they'd have been into it, their daughter getting an AMERICAN MAN, marrying and becoming a citizen, a lot of successful motivated men of power, anywhere in the world, would probably see that as making an inroad. Oh well, it's the past now.
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Reframe that, STOP BEING WEAK AND EVIL CAN'T PREY ON YOU, you won't need to be saved!
A woman wants to feel safe from evil, easy, GET A MAN FOR THAT. Oh, you don't have one, that's her abdicating her responsibility.
I have 6 sisters, brother can't be everywhere at once, so 1) I bought them all guns, and 2) they all got husbands, problem solved.
No good men don't have to do anything because evil has no opportunity.
Don't get all emotional here. It's weak ass shit.
Solve the problem. Eliminate the risk.
Example, bro was arrested DOZENS of times before this event, that's dozens of failures to eliminate the risk of him.
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Six sisters, no brothers, but a strong Silent generation dad, I know what you mean. I was kinda immune to female bs by like 12, to survive lol, and it's probably why I'm turning 40 this year, no kids, no marriages, only one real serious relationship years back...it's all bullshit lol. I can't take it seriously.
I know all the tests, all the tears are fake, and THEY'RE. LYING. Lol.
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