Comments by "Glamdolly" (@glamdolly30) on "Larry Millete set to be arraigned for murder of missing wife | COURT TV" video.
-
8
-
4
-
@nomudnolotus4410 Not sexist, the facts are the facts and you are quite wrong, domestic abuse is totally a 'gender specific thing'. Most domestic abusers are male, most victims are female, and the victims of domestic homicides are almost exclusively female. The facts are all too depressingly clear, and it's not an argument - men kill women!
I'm aware there are female abusers, but they are highly unlikely to kill - unlike their far more common, male equivalent. So for women, domestic abuse is literally a matter of life or death, as Gabby Petito's recent murder (and Maya Millete's, and Suzanne Morphew's, and Shanann Watts', and Kelsey Berreth's, and all the other murders of women by men who claimed to love them), powerfully prove.
I am very sorry to hear of your experiences and I agree with you, kids of both sexes should learn about narcissistic/domestic abuse at school. It's not that I want to 'demonise' men, or 'leave men out of the equation' as you put it, but we have to face facts, however uncomfortable they may be for men - women are in grave danger from this issue, men are not. Domestic abuse is everywhere, it cuts across all cultures, classes, ethnicities and age groups, and is a global pandemic more deadly for females than Covid. Yet addressing the crisis of violence against women is not a priority for any of the world's governments. Instead it is swept under the carpet, underestimated or regarded with tacit acceptance, as an inevitability. What an insult that is to men!
While I accept your point that men can be victims of narcissistic/domestic abuse, this is not an equal opportunities crime, the victims are in the overwhelming majority, female. Barely a day goes by when we don't hear about a woman being found dead (or disappearing), at the hands of her male partner/ex partner. Most men are not abusive, but a significant minority ARE, and the majority of decent men like yourself should call them out, not seek to minimise their crimes against women.
There is a widespread reluctance on the part of men, to acknowledge male abuse of women, or to confront it. We saw that clearly on the police bodycam of Brian Laundrie and Gabby Petito. Those male cops couldn't wait to befriend Brian Laundrie, who they knew had just been reported by two 911 callers for hitting his girlfriend. Those officers were fully aware he was an alleged domestic abuser, so their sympathetic, even pally behaviour towards him, was totally inappropriate!
No wonder that bodycam footage has been widely criticised - even by senior police officers. According to Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd, his police colleagues handled Laundrie all wrong. Sheriff Judd said after the 911 reports they had ample grounds to arrest him for domestic abuse and take him into custody, and should have done exactly that. But instead cops decided Brian Laundrie was the victim and Gabby Petito the perpetrator! That's not just lousy detective work - it suggests a deep seated and innate reluctance to identify and punish another man accused of domestic abuse.
Those cops were using exactly the same warped 'logic' you expressed in your post, ie the false premise that male and female domestic abuse are exactly the same crime, and of equal gravity. They are not, make no mistake about it, and police should know the statistics better than anyone. Of Brian Laundrie and Gabby Petito, it was HER, not him, who was at risk of serious harm or death. Therefore her care and welfare as the victim should have been their priority, and Brian Laundrie should have been treated as the domestic abuse suspect he was. Their disastrous errors of judgement were tragically proven 2 weeks later, with Gabby's death at Laundrie's hands.
The police failure to confront or condemn Brian Laundrie for his independently confirmed abuse of Gabby Petito, paved the way for her murder by him soon after. In accepting Gabby's predictable self-blame at face value (cops should know abuse victims often blame themselves and downplay the abuse), and ludicrously giving Laundrie victim status, the cops in effect endorsed his abuse of her. No wonder he was all smiles at the end of the bodycam footage, as a distraught Gabby was sent off to spend the night alone in the van and he was chauffeur driven to a cosy hotel. He knew he got away with it!
As the damning bodycam footage shows police endorsed Brian Laundrie's domestic abuse and in so doing empowered him to not only continue to abuse her, but to escalate his offending to her murder. That bodycam video should be used in future to train law enforcement on how NOT to deal with domestic abuse cases. Because it clearly shows they missed a golden opportunity to save Gabby's life. Had they not been so weak with Brian Laundrie, acted appropriately on the 911 reports and taken him into custody, there's every chance Gabby would be alive today. Abuse victims are too weakened, brainwashed and traumatised to stand up to their abuser - that's why it's critical that police do!
Brian Laundrie is a coward and a bully. He was long overdue censure/punishment for abusing Gabby, and that encounter with police should have been it. He should have been told by those cops in no uncertain terms his abuse of his girlfriend was illegal, would not be tolerated, and would not go unpunished! He should then have been slapped in handcuffs and driven off to spend the night in a police cell - not taken to a comfortable hotel by a friendly cop doing an 'old pals' act!
Like all cowardly bullies, Laundrie would have collapsed if confronted. On the bodycam he was plainly very nervous around the police, because he knew damn fine he was guilty as sin. But he rolled out his usual covert narcissist tactics, smiling, apologising, and playing the bumbling, 'wouldn't hurt a fly', nice guy act - and those dumb cops were taken in!
If police had only treated him like the nasty abuser he was, I think he'd have wet his pants and wouldn't have dared lay a finger on Gabby for the rest of the trip. More to the point, if he'd faced dramatic consequences for his abuse, ie a criminal charge (or even the threat of one), Gabby would have had to call her parents and reveal his abuse to them for the first time (she'd clearly been covering for him, as they knew nothing about it). Third party involvement in that rapidly escalating abuse situation would almost certainly have ended the 'Van Life' project, and Gabby would have returned home - Alive.
But cops dropped the ball, made a bad situation worse, and flunked a golden opportunity to save Gabby Petito's life. That's what can happen when you downplay the male abuse of women!
4
-
4
-
3
-
3
-
2
-
2