Comments by "Dayannah Kali" (@dayannahkali) on "I Don't Want to Have a Goal" video.
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Oooh this is really interesting because I can heavily recognize some of my own patterns there. I am have been convinced by anatmanism from a young age, and even when I were deep in monotheism, my major was negative theology, I would consider anything else bigotry. Now I gave-up all belief, which may be the core practice of anatmanisme. I became very much materialistic and therefore my major is nihilism, or more precisely absurdism. Of course, there are no concrete practice behind those concepts and wandering in the void is really depressing. Some times, and just for a few months, I would be very passionate about a particular subject or activity, so I dive in far and fast, but as soon as I am deep enough to the level of conversation of the experts on the subject, or have a kind of competence about a practical thing, it would immediately nauseate me, so I would give in a bad depression for a few months until a new object of interest hits me. As I refute all personal responsibility on that process, because self is an illusion and everything is deterministic, right, I seem to have no grasp on my life. I have a pension for being recognised with psychotic invalidity.
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