Comments by "Leo" (@Leoo117) on "Jennette McCurdy shares the stories behind memoir “I’m Glad My Mom Died”" video.

@robertdiez3854 Well, her mom dying wasn't the ONLY way she could heal. She could heal if she learned to get herself out from her mom's controlling grip. Healing can happen if we distance ourselves from the toxicity. Its just that the initial guilt of distancing one's self from someone that always guilt trips you is extremely hard, especially when that person has been grooming you and wiring you to basically be their slave. It's possible to distance yourself though. If the toxic person dies from natural causes, it's like an automatic distance has been placed, and there is no one to guilt trip and manipulate you, so you don't have to work up the courage to create that distance, which is one major step you can skip and don't have to worry about. I remember knowing someone who wished their mom would pass away, because she didn't know how to escape the unsettled feeling that came over her every time her mom would contact her and guilt trip her. I remember saying how they shouldn't say that, but now I completely understand the feeling, and I now would sympathize and acknowledge the feelings.
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Piscesempress I believe you, and maybe your mom couldn't distance herself for some reason. So maybe it was a different circumstance. You can't leave in those situations. If you can distance yourself though, and you don't, then you are accepting misery in your life for a very long time. Why do that when you can take back your power by moving away from them and blocking them? It might be hard, but if you're an adult, you can move out and completely block them on everything, and have absolutely no contact. Reject and block anybody else who tries to guilt you on your toxic parent's behalf. Until you've had the time to heal. It's possible. I've known people that have done this, and have felt so much better afterwards. I also know someone that didn't walk away completely, but puts serious limits on the association with their toxic parent, no matter what the parent says. It gives them time to recover for a while without the toxicity.
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