Comments by "Leo" (@Leoo117) on "LOVE has NOTHING to do with RELATIONSHIPS: setting the record straight" video.

Well you had a bad example of how to actually show love, so you became comfortable with being cold, while warmth now feels weird. You just have to practice warmth, and find a good example of warmth to emulate. It would be good to start learning and practicing being comfortable with showing affection and warmth toward your husband, so that you can provide an actual good example on how a good relationship works and feels between romantic partners. It's uncomfortable and it takes effort, but it's worth it so that your kid doesn't learn the same coldness. It's also worth it for yourself, because it helps you feel more fulfillment.
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@donjindra What a phenomenal comment. So well worded and easy to understand. Your comment is the truth. So few people refuse to try and understand what you are saying here, and therefore, so few people experience that type of fulfillment. I think thats why people develop limiting beliefs that make things easy for them. It helps them to justify not doing the work to address their insecurities, because frankly, it's not fun to address our fears and insecurities and it's easier to find a way to go around them. It's a bad way to go, though.
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@James Kamotho Warmth would be physical and verbal affection. Like hugs and uplifting and kind words. A smile is considered warm. Also, being able to listen to another person and take a real interest in what they are saying can be considered warmth. Taking the time to help a person with something is considered warmth, too. It could just be something small.
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Your definition of love is incomplete. Thats why you feel this way about it. Love is kindness and respect, love is uplifting, love is self-control, love is patience, love is mildness and love is joy and love is indeed humble. Showing all of these things in relationships will be as a constant boon to all relationships. The opposite of these things causes dysfunction. Love is indeed self-sacrificing, but not to the point of a lack of self-respect. If a woman wants to be with another man like in that movie, all you need to do is walk away from the relationship. If you know you have issues and cannot currently be a good partner, then you walk away just the same. That is the proper sacrifice. It would take a lack of love for yourself to actually pay for her to be with someone else. That isn't love. Allowing her the freedom to make her own choice and accepting it is love. To not settle for someone who obviously isn't all in and fully interested in you is love for yourself. Love being sacrificial means more like sacrificing your free time to spend it with your mate or your children. That is a true and realistic and healthy sacrifice, because our time is the most valuable thing we have. Showing real love takes a conscious effort, because it doesn't always come natural to us. Love is not just a feeling, its an action. We also need to have love for ourselves in order to have the self-respect to not hang around someone if we are not being treated properly, and it takes a loving attitude to properly communicate that. The issue is that most people don't know what love actually is, and they don't know how to show it, because they were not taught. They were often taught the opposite. That is most of us, but we can always still learn. A lack of love is the reason for all dysfunctional relationships, trauma and problems. Oh, and by the way, what a good singing voice you have. That was definitely a nice surprise lol.
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@Alex Exactly. And self-control is a huge part of love. So if people actually showed love, or knew how to do that, their relationship would actually be functional.
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@Alex-bl8uh True, but while it may be easier for some of us, some people might struggle a little more in that area. It's not that they want to inflict emotional damage, it's just that they have a hard time resisting temptation in the moment. Depending on their integrity, they either show self-control, or just give in to the temptation.
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