Comments by "Leo" (@Leoo117) on "Don't be harmless: how to command respect" video.

Fear does not equal respect. If someone is treating you well only because they are afraid of you in some capacity, they are not respecting you. They are FEARING you. A person that truly respects you is going to respect you at ALL times, even at your weakest and most vulnerable. It's toxic to yourself to hang around those that have to fear you in order to treat you correctly. This way, it's not a paradox.
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@andreiboambes3356 As long as a person doesn't show disrespect, they are being respectful. They don't need to go over the top in order to show respect.
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@ladilaja6451 I do believe many people operate this way, but it isn't healthy. If they need to fear losing you in order to treat you correctly, can you really call it respect? I think so, but it's more like they have an unaddressed trauma wound and don't know how to treat people properly. So you'll always have to threaten to walk away to get them to treat you properly, which is a toxic thing to do, and it's only a temporary solution, because it won't work forever with someone that refuses to respect others on their own without outside motivation. Its not preferable because you'll likely have to walk away from someone like that in the long run in order to keep disrespectful people out of your life.
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@mjmulenga3 This makes sense. I can get on board with this because this comes from caring about another person. That's different than what the doc suggests, though.
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@ObiAmajoyiSrMD Is what I mentioned not the type of fear the doc mentioned? He literally said you have to be able to harm others to be respected. I'd say that is an extremely juvenile perspective. That is the very same perspective that a juvenile school bully has. The doc is just saying to look and be tough like a school bully, but don't actually bully anyone. Going out of your way to develop a way to exude potential harmfulness is to display an insecurity that you feel unworthy of decent treatment and that you think you need to DO something to earn someone's respect, instead of knowing already that you are worthy of respect because you are a human being, and you too are respectful. All you have to do in order to communicate that you want respect is to WALK AWAY from those that disrespect you. That's it. That's how you reject disrespect. This way, people learn they cannot get your attention without actually treating you properly. You can always voice your reasons for walking away and you should, but its something that literally all of us can do. It's that simple and it keeps those that would treat us bad out of our life.
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